creative writing – Memoirs of Madness

Things We Don’t Ask

2026/01/28Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, love, Short Story, short-story, Splinters, writing1 Comment

I remember the smell first.
Rain coming in low and metallic, like the sky was holding a secret it didn’t trust the ground with yet. It hovered more than it fell, daring me to move too fast. I stood outside the terminal with my hands in my jacket pockets, watching the clouds bruise darker by the minute.

She was late.

Not late in the way that makes you angry—late in the way that tightens something behind the ribs. Late in the way that invites thoughts you shouldn’t entertain. The kind of waiting where every rational explanation starts to feel hysterical if you let it linger too long.

I leaned against the truck and checked the arrivals board again. Delayed. Still delayed. The Army never seemed interested in giving anything back cleanly.

I kept my eyes on the doors instead of the board. Doors don’t lie the same way screens do.

Funny thing was, I never meant to meet her at all.

A friend introduced us. Said he needed a favor. Said his girlfriend wouldn’t leave him alone about her friend. And when a guy says that, you already know—you’re about to take one for the team. Ugly or crazy. Sometimes both. With my luck, probably both.

She wasn’t.

Unless you count the fact that she joined the military at twenty-two.

Eighteen, I get. Eighteen is impulse. Twenty-two is decision. That told me more about her than anything she said that night.

The Ford sat beside me, patient as an old dog. A ’52 F-1. Steel the color of something that had survived worse weather than this. I rested my hand on the hood, grounding myself. I’d promised I wouldn’t restore it until she was home for good. I broke that promise while she was gone. Fixing things is easier than sitting with what can’t be fixed.

We spent that first night talking. Not flirting. Talking. Crappy movies we loved anyway. Music so bad it circled back around to genius. We didn’t stop until she had to leave to report for her next assignment. No dramatic goodbye. Just a look that said this isn’t over yet.

We traded letters after that. Real ones. Paper. Ink. No emails. No texts. No late-night calls. Just envelopes crossing distance like a quiet agreement. About a year ago, the phone rang and her voice was on the other end. That surprised me. I never gave her my phone number. When I asked how she got it, she laughed and said some things were easier to find than people think.

There are things we don’t ask each other.

I can never tell her what I do for a living. She can never find out. I’ve done my best keeping my world and hers separate. It’s easy, in a way—her job teaches silence. She has her secrets about work, and I let them stay where they belong. Mine just happen to follow me home.

The sliding doors hissed open behind me, releasing small crowds in uneven waves. Families. Lovers. A kid dragging a duffel almost as big as him. Every face felt like a rehearsal for something that might go wrong.

Then she stepped through.

She didn’t rush. She never does. Her eyes swept the space before her feet committed to it. The uniform sat on her shoulders like it knew her weight. She looked sharper than I remembered. Leaner. Like something had been filed down and left harder underneath.

I caught her looking before she saw me.

That moment—right there—when her eyes were still searching. Measuring. Cataloging exits. Old habits don’t turn off just because you cross a threshold.

Then she found me.

She stopped walking.

Just for half a second. Long enough that anyone else might’ve missed it. Her gaze stayed on me a beat too long. Not suspicion. Not fear. Recognition, mixed with something else. Something she didn’t have a name for yet.

I didn’t move.

We’ve learned each other that way—through stillness. Through long looks that say more than questions ever could.

She crossed the distance and set her bag down at her feet. We stood there, rain misting between us, airport noise falling away until it sounded like it was happening underwater.

She studied my face.

Not the way lovers do when they’re memorizing. The way soldiers do when they’re checking for damage.

“You okay?” she asked.

I nodded. Too quickly.

Her eyes narrowed just a fraction. Not distrust. Instinct. She leaned in, resting her forehead against mine. Close enough that I could feel her breath slow, feel the way she grounded herself before she let go.

She pulled back slightly, still holding my arms. Her gaze flicked over my shoulder to the truck, then back to my face.

“You finish the restoration,” she said.

It wasn’t a question.

I shrugged. “Kept busy.”

She watched me another second too long. Not accusing. Curious. Like she’d felt a draft but couldn’t find the open door.

Then she smiled. Small. Careful.

“I’m home,” she said.

I pulled her into me before whatever she was about to ask had a chance to form.

The rain finally made up its mind and started to fall.

Author’s Note:
My thanks to FOWC, RDP, and Word of the Day for the prompts and challenge words that helped shape Things We Don’t Ask. Sometimes constraints don’t limit a story—they reveal where the silence lives.

Show Yourself

2026/01/27Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, short-story, Splinters, writingLeave a comment

She doesn’t rise from the water.
That’s the lie people keep telling.

The Lady of the Lake doesn’t emerge—she waits. She waits in the way cold waits for breath, in the way memory waits behind the eyes when you think you’ve forgotten. The lake holds her the way a confession holds a mouth shut. Half-light. Half-truth. Her face stitched into the surface, her eyes nailed open by reflection.

The trees know her better than we do. They lean in, bare and patient, their branches scratching the sky like men who have run out of prayers. They’ve watched centuries of hands reach down—kings, fools, lovers, the desperate—all of them believing the water would give something back without taking a name in return.

She remembers every one of them.

Her eyes are not cruel. That’s the other mistake. Cruelty requires urgency. She has none. Time slides across her face like ripples, distorting her just enough to remind you that what you see is never the whole of it. She watches swords lowered into the dark, watches promises sink, watches men kneel at the edge of the world and swear they will be different tomorrow.

Tomorrow never shows.

The lake glows faintly where grief settles deepest—small embers of light trapped under the skin of the water, like regrets that refuse to die quietly. That glow isn’t magic. It’s memory. It’s every word spoken too late, every love returned damaged, every truth submerged because it was easier than holding it in daylight.

She doesn’t speak unless the water is still. And even then, what she offers is not instruction but reckoning. A mirror, tilted just enough to hurt. Look long enough and you’ll see what you came to lose.

A man comes to the edge at dusk, boots sinking into the soft ground, breath loud enough to offend the air. He has decided she owes him something. Proof, maybe. An answer. A miracle with edges.

“Show yourself.”

The word show hits the water first—splits, ripples, dissolves. The lake doesn’t flinch. It never has. Sound travels poorly here. Demands even worse.

He waits. Long enough for embarrassment to curdle into anger.

Her eyes do not change. They don’t widen or harden. They simply continue—holding the surface together. What he sees is not her rising, but himself multiplied: his face broken by light, his mouth warped into something smaller than it felt when it shouted.

This is the bargain he didn’t know he was making.

She does not appear because she is already present. In the reflection. In the silence that follows a voice with nothing left to say. The lake offers him exactly what he asked for—visibility—and nothing he wanted.

When he finally turns away, the water closes behind him without ceremony.

She remembers his voice.

Not because it mattered.

But because it tried to command what only listens.

Some say she guards a blade. Others say she is the blade—cold, patient, inevitable. What she really guards is the moment before surrender, when you still believe you’re choosing freely. When your hand trembles above the surface and you realize the lake has already learned your weight.

Her gaze never blinks.

Not because she is watching you.

But because she is watching what you’re about to become.

The Night Didn’t Ask

2026/01/262026/01/27Posted in SplintersTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Splinters, writingLeave a comment

The rain had already made its decision before any of them arrived.

It slicked the pavement until the streetlights broke apart in it, fractured and tired. The man sat with his back to the city, umbrella hunched like a bad habit he couldn’t quit. He wasn’t waiting for anyone. Waiting implies hope. This was something quieter—staying.

At his feet, the cats pressed together on a piece of cardboard that had once meant something else. They didn’t cry. They didn’t beg. They understood the economy of nights like this: warmth is borrowed, silence is safer. Their eyes tracked the world without asking it for favors.

The bench creaked once, then settled. The man didn’t turn around. He knew better than to look too closely at things he couldn’t fix. The rain stitched the distance between them, thread by thread, until they shared the same weather, if nothing else.

Cars passed. Windows glowed. Lives continued indoors.

No one crossed the space between umbrella and cardboard.
But for a while, no one left either.

And sometimes that’s the closest mercy the night allows.

Clues Left Behind

2026/01/25Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1828, The Daily's, writing1 Comment

What do you enjoy doing most in your leisure time?

I enjoy tracking down television shows that only survived a single season. There’s something fascinating about failure that almost worked. Sometimes the reasons are obvious—bad writing, wrong casting, a network that panicked too fast. Other times, you’ll never really know. I’m drawn to what didn’t last, because sometimes the failure says more than the success.

Of course, there are always those articles titled “The Truth Behind…” but most of the time, it just feels like people making shit up to fill the silence. I’d rather sit with the uncertainty and decide for myself whether something deserved to disappear or simply arrived at the wrong moment.

I also enjoy discovering artists I’ve never heard before. New doesn’t necessarily mean current—it just means new to me. Like today, listening to a little Django Reinhardt in the middle of the afternoon, no plan, just letting the room change shape around the sound.

I pay attention to the things that disappear early—they usually leave better clues behind.

Take Another Look

2026/01/25Posted in SplintersTagged 3TC, books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, FOWC, RDP, short-story, SocS, Splinters, Word of the day, writing6 Comments

She always waited until the coffee stopped steaming before she took the first sip. Not because it was too hot—she liked the burn—but because steam carried expectations. It rose too quickly, too eager, like the day already leaning in with questions. Once it thinned and vanished, the moment felt earned. Once it faded, the moment belonged to her.

The kitchen held a quiet that had weight to it, the kind only old rooms manage. Not emptiness—history. The faint smell of last night’s soap clung to the sink, mixing with the darker, grounding scent of coffee. Morning light filtered through the thin curtain by the window, a washed-out white that softened the edges of everything it touched. It made the room feel provisional, as if it could still change its mind.

Outside, a shutter slammed against the neighbor’s house, sharp enough to make her flinch. She wondered, briefly and without heat, why they never fixed the damn thing. She tightened her grip on the mug. The warmth settled into her palm, easing the dull ache there. She flexed her hand out of habit, careful. Memory surfaced uninvited—the crack of a breaking branch, the split second where she’d chosen to move instead of freeze. She’d gotten clear, but not clean. Some things never healed the way you expected.

Out there, the world was already awake and asking for things. In here, it hadn’t found her yet. That felt important, though she couldn’t have said why without breaking the spell.

She wrapped both hands around the mug again, feeling its weight, its edges. Some mornings she needed that reminder—that she still occupied space. That she wasn’t just a series of obligations moving from one room to the next, a shape filling time.

The table beneath her forearms was scarred in small, honest ways: a shallow nick from a dropped plate, a dark ring where a hot mug had once been set down without thinking. She’d considered sanding it smooth years ago. Never did. It felt wrong to erase proof that life had passed through here and left evidence behind.

Her hair was braided over one shoulder, more practical than pretty. The braid had started as a solution and hardened into ritual. There was a time when someone else used to reach for her hair without asking, when she’d worn it loose because she thought that was what a good wife did—made herself easy to touch, easy to claim. She knew better now. Loose ends—literal and otherwise—had proven dangerous.

Control wasn’t safety; she understood that now. But it kept the noise down. Kept her from drifting out of jive with the world in ways she couldn’t afford.

She lifted her gaze toward the window, then stopped. Something in the glass held her there. She leaned forward just enough to take another look—not at the street, not at the weather, but at the faint double of herself layered over the morning. Her reflection was incomplete, softened by light and dust.

She remembered him—the one who had once seemed to mean everything. The one she’d let define her without realizing when it happened.

Her chin rested in her palm as her attention drifted outward. Children’s laughter carried in from somewhere nearby, sharp and bright, pulling her back only for a moment.

Her father’s voice surfaced instead, steady as ever.

Never let a man define you. You are your own person.

He’d said it once while making pancakes, wrist loose, skillet hot. He’s son-in-law and the kids had been outside, noise spilling in through the open door. He hadn’t looked at her at first.

The moment you forget that, he’d added, flipping the pancake without effort, you walk away.

She’d watched him then—really watched him.

I didn’t raise a follower, he said, finally meeting her eyes, his gaze firm in that familiar, unyielding way. I raised a leader.

The pancake landed clean in the pan.

Her father had been a wizard of understatement. He’d drop a line the way other men cast spells—quiet, precise, impossible to shake once they landed. He couldn’t fix this for her. Not the way she’d wanted.

It took years to understand that he’d fixed it anyway. No grand gestures. No proclamations. Just showing up—coffee already poured, chair already pulled out—when it mattered most.

She brought the mug to her lips and took her first sip.

The coffee was strong and a little bitter, the taste blooming across her tongue before settling into something darker and steady. Honest. No disguises. It reminded her that not everything needed sweetening to be worth consuming.

Her father was gone now. The husband, too—if not in body, then in attention. The children moved through the house fast, already half-elsewhere, pausing only long enough to ask, Mom, you good?

The idea of flight lingered. Not escape. Just stepping away long enough to remember herself. To feel like something other than a function. To hear her own name without it being followed by need.

Two years, she thought. That’s all. Two years and the house would empty.

The thought made her smile—small, private.

The women from her book club—really just wine and talking in circles—always spoke about that moment. About leaving. About becoming again. None of them ever had.

She wondered, not for the first time, if she had the courage to be the one who broke the pattern.

She reached into the drawer and pulled out a notebook. On the first clean page, she wrote a single word:

Tahiti.

She smiled at it. Just long enough.

Her father’s voice surfaced again, uninvited and familiar. I’m retiring in Tahiti, he used to say, already settling back into his favorite chair. Where the women don’t wear tops.

He’d grin, eyes closed, the idea doing more work than any plan ever had.

She closed the notebook without crossing the word out and set it beside her cup.

The coffee had gone lukewarm.

She didn’t move to reheat it.

Author’s Note:
This piece was shaped in response to a series of prompts and challenges that continue to push my work into quieter, more honest territory. My thanks to FOWC, RDP, Word of the Day, 3TC, and SoCS for the sparks, constraints, and provocations that helped bring Take Another Look into focus.

Where the Ache Learns to Sit

2026/01/242026/01/24Posted in ProseTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Ink and Wounds, Prose, writing3 Comments

She sits the way people do when they’ve finally stopped pretending the day went according to plan.

The couch gives beneath her, a slow surrender, fabric creasing where her body has learned to rest without asking permission. It remembers her shape better than most people ever have. Afternoon light slips in through the window—thin, dust-heavy, undecided—catching on the silver threaded through her hair, the soft pull of skin at her shoulders, the evidence of years spent carrying weight that never showed up on a scale.

This is not rest.
This is what comes after holding yourself together too long.

Her tank top clings faintly to warmth, the ghost of the day still trapped in the cotton. Skin exposed, unguarded. No armor left. No performance required. She looks down at her hands and feels the familiar flicker of accusation. These hands have signed things they shouldn’t have. Held on when leaving would have hurt less. Let go when staying might have saved something. They tremble now—not from weakness, but from memory.

There is a wound you earn through endurance.
It doesn’t bleed.
It tightens.

It lives in the shoulders, in the jaw, in the space behind the eyes where thoughts go when they’re too tired to form words. She feels it settle there, heavy as wet cloth. This is the pain that learned to be quiet. The kind that stops asking for attention because it knows better.

She thinks about the versions of herself she was promised—by magazines, by love, by the softer lies people tell when they mean well. Stronger. Lighter. Forgiven. They stand like uninvited witnesses in the corners of the room, these almost-selves, careful not to meet her eyes. She doesn’t chase them anymore. Chasing taught her how expensive hope can be.

The room smells like yesterday. Cold coffee. Worn fabric. The faint mineral trace of skin that’s been still too long. Somewhere behind her, the world insists on urgency—phones buzzing, engines passing, time tapping its foot. In here, time slumps into a chair across from her and says nothing at all.

This is where the ache goes when it’s done screaming.
This is where survival finally exhales.

She is not broken. She knows that much.
But she is open in places that never healed cleanly.

Ink would catch this better than blood. A line pressed too hard into paper. A pause left uncorrected. The kind of mark you don’t explain away because explanation would cheapen it. This is not a story with a lesson. It’s a record. A witness.

She lets herself stay there—inside the weight, inside the truth—because she’s learned something no one bothered to teach her:

Healing doesn’t begin with hope.
It begins the moment you stop lying about how much it hurt.

Rain on the Inside

2026/01/24Posted in ProseTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Madness Made Visible, Prose, writing1 Comment

Morning arrives without ceremony.
Light slips in through rain-blurred glass,
hesitant, as if the day itself is undecided.
The room still holds the night’s chill,
so I cradle the cup and let its warmth
work its way inward, slow and patient.

Outside, the world softens—
trees loosen into color and breath,
rain stitching the edges together.
A winter bird begins somewhere unseen,
its song thin but insistent,
whispering morning into the quiet.
Eight a.m.

Whatever lived between hello and goodbye,
I don’t chase it.
I leave it on the other side of the glass—
intact, unmoving,
a version of us that no longer asks to be believed.

I stay still.
Steam lifts.
The room listens.

A half-smile gathers when your words return,
soft as rain against the pane.
If I sit just right—
tucked into the corner,
letting the silence settle—
I can hear something old stirring,
amused, familiar,
stretching its limbs beneath the calm.

Not loud.
Not broken.
Just awake again.

Shaking Off the Rust

2026/01/23Posted in SplintersTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, FOWC, life, love, mental health, RDP, Splinters, Word of the day, writingLeave a comment

The morning comes in sideways, all wrong angles and cheap light, the kind that makes even clean windows look guilty. I stand at the sink with my hands braced on the porcelain, staring at a man I barely recognize. He has my face, sure—but it looks older this way, like it’s been left out in the rain too long. Rust doesn’t announce itself. It settles in. Quiet. Patient.

Most days feel like I’m banging my head against a wall—metaphorically, of course. I’m stubborn, not suicidal. Still, the effect is the same: that dull reverberation behind the eyes, the sense that motion isn’t the same thing as progress. I’m not exactly sure which direction to take each day. Left. Right. Forward. Doesn’t seem to matter much.

It’s been this way ever since she walked out my door.

I know the story I’m telling. I know the numbers. One in five men will either write a story, a poem, or tell some version of this as a cautionary tale. I’m not pretending I’ve discovered new ground. I’m just standing in it, boots sinking, trying to decide whether I’m stuck or simply paused—whether I’ve begun to exclude myself from my own future out of habit more than fear.

I know the issues I face. I can name them cleanly, like parts laid out on a workbench. Grief. Drift. Habit masquerading as survival. None of this is a mystery. Still, I wait—for somebody, anybody—to come along and open my eyes, as if they’ve been closed this whole time. As if I haven’t been watching everything dim in slow motion, pretending observation counts as progress.

I say my prayers. Not the polished ones. The kind you offer late, when the room has already decided not to answer you back. I don’t pray for forgiveness or signs. What I ask for is simpler, and somehow heavier: one thing I won’t walk away from.

Not because it’s easy. Not because it stays. But because it anchors. Because when everything else loosens—people, plans, the version of myself I thought was permanent—this one thing resists my instinct to disappear. There’s something almost fierce in that resistance, even if it looks like stillness from the outside.

Silently, I weep—not because I’m broken, but because I’m honest enough to admit the truth: I may never be ready.

Not ready in the way people mean it. Not polished. Not certain. Not absolved of doubt. The version of readiness I keep waiting for might be a myth we tell ourselves so we don’t have to act while still afraid—or something I haven’t been honest enough to recognize, let alone name.

Still, there is one compromise I won’t make. I won’t trade my integrity for momentum. Or at least, that’s what I tell myself. Whether that refusal is courage or fear—or a quieter failure of honesty—I’m still learning to sit with the question instead of smoothing it over, to reclaim some small measure of agency without turning it into another performance.

If this means I move slower, so be it.
If it means I move alone, I’ve done worse.

Readiness may never arrive. Integrity may not be as clean as I want it to be. But I won’t pretend anymore that I understand the difference without paying attention.

So I grieve quietly.
I stay where I am.
And I refuse the comfort of answers that let me off too easily.

The rust isn’t gone.
But it has cracks in it now.

Author’s Note:
This piece was written in response to the creative constraints and quiet provocations of FOWC, RDP, and Word of the Day. Each offered a different kind of pressure—words to carry, boundaries to work within, and a reminder that limitation often reveals more than freedom. I’m grateful for the nudge to sit longer with what resists easy resolution, and to let the language do the listening.

The Method

2026/01/23Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1826, life, mental health, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

Daily writing prompt

List five things you do for fun.

View all responses

I live a simple life.
Apparently, this confuses people.

Some assume “simple” means boring—that if I’m not broadcasting joy at full volume, I must be missing out on something essential. Chaos. Noise. The approved version of fun.

I’ve even been told I’m not really living.

“The world can’t be found in one of your books,” they say.
“You need to get out and see the world.”

That bothered me once.
For about thirty seconds.

Then I explained what my everyday life used to look like.

Some people went quiet.
Some turned pale.
A few vomited.

I’ll admit—it gave me a little tingle.

The ones who mattered just nodded and said, Yeah… you’ve earned the right to rest.

They were wrong about one thing.
I’m not resting. I’m choosing.

Because I’ve seen the world—up close, in motion, at speed.
And I’ve learned you don’t need to cross an ocean to understand people.
You just need to pay attention.

Here’s what fun looks like now:

Reading

Reading isn’t escape.
It’s discovery through confrontation.

I read to understand why the world keeps repeating itself. Books showed me cruelty, tenderness, faith, and failure long before I met them face-to-face. Anyone who says the world can’t be found in a book hasn’t been paying attention to either one.

Books don’t pretend.
And they don’t let me, either.

Writing

Writing isn’t a hobby.
It’s a discipline with standards.

I write to see what survives the page—ideas, memories, versions of myself that don’t get to lie. It’s where things either hold or collapse.

Writing is fun because it gets to the truth faster than conversation.
And because on the page, I can’t bullshit myself.

Listening to Music

I don’t use music as wallpaper.

I listen to albums—front to back. Deep cuts. No algorithm steering my mood. The real story is never in the hits.

Music taught me timing. Restraint. When silence matters more than sound.
It’s also what made me fall in love with stories in the first place—before I trusted words, I trusted feeling.

Listening is fun because it still surprises me.
And because it reminds me that every good story starts with rhythm.

Hand Drawing & Photography

Both are acts of slowing down.

Drawing forces honesty—one line at a time, no undo.
Photography demands attention. You don’t take a photo; you notice one.

Sometimes these worlds overlap. I draw the photographs I take. Sometimes those images bleed into my writing, the same way music pulls a memory to the surface before I know its name.

I don’t make images to decorate.
I make them to see.

Mechanics & Woodworking

Things don’t come together by accident.

Mechanics teaches respect for systems. Ignore how something works and it will teach you—violently. Creation begins with understanding.

Before I build anything, I draw it. Sometimes I photograph something similar and reverse-engineer it—break it down, rebuild the idea, make it mine.

Wood remembers everything. You can’t rush it. You can’t argue with it. But if you listen, unrelated pieces become something solid and new.

Somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t collecting hobbies.
I was learning how to pay attention—how structure holds, how timing matters, how nothing works unless you understand what it’s made of.

This is discovery through confrontation, just with heavier consequences.

And that’s why it’s fun.
Because turning fragments into function leaves no room for bullshit. Especially my own.

I Always Come Back

2026/01/22Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1825, The Daily's, writingLeave a comment

If I could make my pet understand one thing, it would be this: I’m never leaving you.

Not when I shut the door in the morning. Not when the bags are packed. Not when my voice sounds distracted or tired or sharp around the edges. None of that is abandonment—it’s just the noise of being human.

And honestly—let’s not fool ourselves. They understand everything else just fine.

They understand the sound of the treat bag from three rooms away. They understand the difference between “outside” and “we’re going to the vet,” even when you try to dress it up with a happy voice. They understand routine, mood, tension, joy, grief—half the time better than we do. They’re not clueless. They’re just quiet about what they know.

Take a moment and consider this: we feed them. We buy them toys. We rearrange our lives around walks, litter, vet appointments, and the sacred schedule of now. So who’s really running the show?

Exactly.

But for all that control they seem to have—the way they claim the couch, the bed, your time, your heart—there’s still that one soft panic when you reach for your keys. That one question they keep asking with their whole body:

Are you coming back?

So yeah. If I could give them one sentence that landed perfectly, it wouldn’t be “stop barking” or “please don’t eat that” or “the vacuum isn’t a predator.”

It would be this:

I’m never leaving you. I always come back.

Daily writing prompt

If you could make your pet understand one thing, what would it be?

View all responses

Footprints of Omission

2026/01/22Posted in SplintersTagged 3TC, books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, FSS, short-story, Splinters, writing2 Comments

The café was nearly empty, the way it always was at that hour, when the city seemed to hold its breath between one intention and the next. A single bulb hung low over the table, casting a tired halo that didn’t quite reach the corners of the room. He sat beneath it with his shoulders rounded, as if the light itself carried weight, the familiar ache between his shoulder blades reminding him how many mornings had begun this way.

Steam lifted from the cup in front of him, thin and persistent, carrying the faint scent of something burnt at the edges. He didn’t drink it right away. He rarely did. Coffee, like memory, was better approached slowly. The notebook lay open, its spine softened by decades of use, pages crowded with a handwriting that had grown tighter over the years—as though space itself had become something to ration.

He had started the book long before he understood why. Since his father’s death, maybe longer. Names filled the early pages. Dates. Places half-remembered, half-invented. A census line here. A marriage record there. Ordinary things, assembled carefully, as if order alone might explain what had always felt misaligned. The ink had faded in places, smudged where a younger hand had dragged across still-wet letters. He traced a finger over his father’s birth date and wondered, not for the first time, if he had ever truly known his family at all.

Outside, a bus hissed to a stop. Inside, the café remained still.

He paused, pen hovering above the page. A name appeared twice in the records—his grandfather’s—attached to two different women in two towns separated by less than thirty miles. The dates overlapped by three years. He ran his thumb across the indentation in the paper, feeling something settle behind his ribs. It wasn’t proof. It was something worse—suggestion.

They say everyone who looks into their family history will find a secret sooner or later.

The thought didn’t arrive like revelation. It settled. Heavy. Familiar. He lifted the cup and drank, the bitterness grounding him. The past, he had learned, rarely announced itself. It preferred patience.

He turned the page.

What followed wasn’t violent or scandalous. It was quieter. A pattern of omissions. A child listed as “lodger.” A death without cause. A man who moved on easily while others slipped out of the record altogether. There was something almost methodical about it, something faintly sinister in its restraint, like footprints carefully wiped away, leaving only the suggestion of passage.

He closed the notebook and wrapped both hands around the cup. The warmth spread into his fingers, steady and real. Whatever he had uncovered didn’t change who he was—but it explained the silence he’d grown up inside, the way truth had always been treated like something fragile, dangerous, best kept out of reach.

Outside, the bus pulled away. The café’s clock ticked on.

He paid, nodded to no one, and slipped the notebook into his coat, feeling its weight settle against his side. Some secrets didn’t ask to be exposed. They only asked to be acknowledged, carried forward with care.

He stepped back into the cold, the door closing softly behind him. The notebook pressed against him with each step, a quiet reminder that he was just another link in a long chain of silences—and that the light and steam and unanswered questions would follow him home, patient as family ghosts.

Author’s Note

This piece was written in response to the quiet pull of two prompts that lingered longer than expected. My thanks to Fandango for hosting FSS#229, and to Di for MM309. Both offered just enough space to let the story find its own footing. Sometimes the right prompt doesn’t demand an answer—it waits, patient, until the words are ready to catch up.

The City That Kept Time

2026/01/21Posted in FictionTagged 3TC, books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, Ink and Wounds, RDP, short-story, writing3 Comments

The watch stopped at dawn.

Not the gentle kind—the kind that slips in like forgiveness—but the gray, flooded dawn that arrives already tired of you. The kind that stains the sky a murky color that refuses to decide whether it’s night or morning, as if time itself has begun to disapprove of forward motion.

I noticed it when the ticking failed to meet me halfway.

For years, that sound had been my anchor. A soft, mechanical breath in the hollow of my chest pocket. Tick. Pause. Tick. A reminder that something, somewhere, still obeyed order. Still moved forward in increments small enough to survive.

Now there was only water.

The glass face of the pocket watch had cracked sometime during the night, a hairline fracture running from two o’clock to nowhere. Inside, the city floated—half-submerged streets, collapsed facades, moss choking the bones of once-important buildings. Windows gaped like mouths that had finally given up trying to warn anyone. At the center, a domed cathedral rose from the flood like an accusation that refused to sink.

It was still captivating, in the way ruins sometimes are. Beauty sharpened by consequence. Grandeur stripped of purpose.

Beneath the waterline, the gears burned.

Gold teeth turned against blackened brass, grinding despite the damage, throwing sparks like dying stars. The machinery didn’t care that the watch had failed. It kept working out of habit. Out of loyalty to a purpose that no longer mattered.

I understood that better than I wanted to.

I stood at the edge of the canal that used to be a boulevard, boots half-submerged, coat heavy with the smell of damp wool and old decisions. The city had been abandoned for years, but it still whispered at night—stones settling, water licking the edges of memory, echoes that sounded uncomfortably like names I never said out loud.

I remembered a morning before the flood. Before the watch felt heavy.

We sat at a narrow table near the window, steam curling from chipped cups of tea, the kind brewed too long because neither of us wanted to be the first to speak. She stirred hers slowly, counting rotations like they meant something, then slid a coin across the table.

“A tuppence for your thoughts,” she said.

She didn’t smile.

I should have laughed. Should have told her the truth. Instead, I pocketed the coin like a coward’s joke and said nothing worth keeping.

I promised her I’d leave before the waters rose.

I always said that part softly, as if volume could erase delay.

“You have time,” I told her.
I believed it. Or worse—I needed to.

The watch had been hers first. A gift from her father, salvaged from a world that still believed time could be trusted. She gave it to me the night I chose to stay. Pressed it into my palm like a pardon I hadn’t earned.

“So you don’t forget,” she said.

I didn’t forget.

That was the cruel part.

The floods came fast after that. Streets drowned, then buildings, then names. People scattered or vanished. Promises calcified into artifacts. I stayed long enough to become part of the ruin—another figure haunting the edges of what refused to die.

When the betrayal finally surfaced, it wasn’t loud.

It never is.

It arrived as understanding.

The realization that the city hadn’t fallen because of the water, but because of what I didn’t say when it mattered. Because of every moment I stood still while she carried the weight of forward motion. Because love deferred long enough begins to rot, and rot attracts floods.

I had thrown silence where honesty should have been.
Thrown comfort at a wound that needed truth.
Thrown time away as if it were renewable.

I opened the watch fully, prying the glass away with numb fingers. Water spilled out, carrying reflections with it—her face once, briefly, before dissolving into ripples. Beneath it all, the gears slowed.

Tick.
Pause.
Nothing.

For the first time, the city inside the watch went quiet.

No sparks. No movement. Just submerged streets and a cathedral that had finally learned how to bow.

I closed the watch and let it sink into the canal.

The water swallowed it without ceremony.

I stood there long after the ripples faded, hands empty, pockets lighter, time finally finished with me. The city remained—not as punishment, not as mercy—but as evidence.

Some things don’t break when you betray them.

They simply stop keeping time for you.

Author’s Note

This piece was shaped in conversation with constraint, and I’m grateful for it. Thank you to Di for hosting 3TC, and to Ragtag Daily Prompt for consistently offering challenge words that don’t feel ornamental, but invitational—words that ask to be earned on the page.

These prompts didn’t dictate the story; they pressured it, forcing choices, memory, and consequence to surface where they might otherwise have stayed submerged. Sometimes that tension is exactly what a piece needs to tell the truth it’s been circling.

I appreciate the space to wrestle with language rather than decorate it.

Holding Pattern

2026/01/21Posted in SplintersTagged 3TC, books, creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, life, short-story, Splinters, writing2 Comments

I sat hunched over the bar near my gate, a single malt sweating in my hand, cold beads pooling onto a yellowed napkin. The whiskey was unnecessary—a holding pattern. The bar’s wood was too polished, reflecting clusters of strangers stalled between departures and arrivals. The air smelled like disinfectant, old cigarettes, and quiet panic. A television above the bottles played the news without sound. None of it touched me.

I was waiting for the woman I loved.

We met online, in a late-night radio forum—an accident disguised as trivia. She replied to my post with a sharp joke, and I laughed out loud in the dark. Two years followed: messages, calls, pixelated faces, a fragile unity built across time zones and bad connections. Some days the odds felt impossible. Other days I forgot there were odds at all.

People streamed past behind me—wheels clicking, heels striking linoleum, a child whining. I checked my phone again. At passport control. See you soon, promise. I imagined her somewhere nearby, tired, rehearsing the same fears I was: of disappointment, of misrecognition, of how unlike a voice sounds when it finally shares air.

When she appeared, the room shifted.

She stood near the bar beneath the blue glow of the departures board. Her hair was pulled tight except for one loose strand drifting across her cheek. She looked like her photos and not at all—smaller, maybe, worn thin by travel. She ordered a vodka tonic, extra lime. The bartender—an upstart with a waxed mustache and too much confidence—glanced at me, then back at her, and filled the glass.

She turned. We smiled at the same time.

For a moment, neither of us moved. Then she crossed the space quickly, set her bag down, and hugged me—too tight, ungraceful, her face pressed into my neck like she was afraid the moment might slip away. She trembled. I smelled citrus shampoo and airplane air.

I almost joked about how different she looked in real life, the words lining up in my throat before I swallowed them hard.

When she pulled back, her eyes were wet. She laughed and wiped them with her knuckles. “Sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to be a mess.”

I kissed her forehead, then her mouth. We bumped teeth. She grinned and apologized again.

We sat together at the bar, trading small stories—the flight, the customs line, a stranger who snored. She hated how every airport looked the same. I showed her the duty-free shortbread I’d nearly finished myself. She took the last piece and laughed, and something in my chest loosened.

At the gate, we sat with our knees touching. Silence came easily. I watched her study my face like she was committing it to memory. She laced her fingers through mine and held tight.

When our flight was called, she stood first and pulled me after her.

We took our first-class seats—an indulgence neither of us questioned. She kicked off her shoes and curled inward, already at ease. We declined champagne. We leaned together, whispered through the taxi, joked about the safety video.

At takeoff, she gripped my arm and didn’t let go until the plane smoothed out above the clouds.

Author’s Note:
My thanks to Di for hosting the 3TC challenge. This piece grew out of the quiet constraint of that framework—the kind that asks you to listen harder to what’s left unsaid. I’m grateful for the space to let a moment hold without resolving it. Sometimes, those are the places where the best stories live—in the places left unsaid.

Millhaven Cove Chapter 2

2026/01/20Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, Fiction Series, Millhaven Cove, romance, short-story, writing2 Comments

Chapter 2

The Room

Will already knew what to expect before he reached the door: the faint sting of disinfectant undercut by burnt coffee; fluorescent light glaring off scuffed linoleum; a woman at the front ready to talk about choices, consequences, and tomorrow. He smelled disappointment and something that pretended to be hope.

He lingered in the hallway, boots scraping the edge of a faded carpet runner. The voices inside blended together—low, tired, familiar. He thought of them as bots, people who leaned on slogans because slogans never asked questions.

A sharp laugh cut through the murmur.

“Are you going to stand out there eavesdropping like a kid,” a woman called, tone flat and amused, “or are you coming in?”

Will squared his shoulders, drew a breath that tasted like bleach and regret, and pushed the door open.

The smell hit first—old sweat, anxious adrenaline, the faint copper tang of fear. Folding chairs filled the room, every one occupied by a version of damage he recognized without wanting to: a man with a fading bruise behind his ear, another tapping his foot like he was waiting for bad news, a woman gripping a sweater so hard her knuckles had gone white.

At the front sat Emma St. John. Legs crossed. Pen tapping once against a yellow legal pad. Her eyes didn’t soften when they found him. They weighed him. Measured him. Moved on.

“Well, look at that,” she said. “We got ourselves a statue.”

A few people snorted.

“Everyone,” she added, “let’s welcome the statue.”

“Hey, Statue.”

Will’s jaw tightened. He scanned the room for sympathy and found none. This was supposed to be part of his punishment—tough love, no coddling. He sat, anger curdling in his gut.

“I’m Will,” he said, voice low. “I’m an addict.”

Emma leaned back slightly, pen hovering. “Look at that. The statue talks. Larry, tap him and see if he says something else.”

Larry, broad-shouldered and sweating through his T-shirt, hesitated just long enough to make it real. Then he drove a fist into Will’s ribs.

The air left Will in a sharp, hollow burst. Pain flared hot and immediate. He folded forward, a sound tearing out of him before he could stop it.

“Well,” Emma said, nodding like she was checking a box, “he screams with conviction.”

She tilted her head. “That’s enough.”

The room exhaled.

Will straightened slowly, hand pressed to his side. Something in him had gone still, alert. Larry stepped back, grinning.

“Seems like he’s not a statue after all.”

Will met Emma’s gaze. “Who the hell are you?”

She didn’t blink. “Who are you, and why are you really here?”

“I told you,” he snapped. “I’m an addict.”

Her mouth curved, but there was no warmth in it. “That one sounded like you meant it.”

The group murmured.

Will sat, shoulders tight. This wasn’t landing the way he’d planned.

Emma waited, then said, “Stand up again. Tell us the truth.”

“Straight?” Will asked.

“Hells yes,” she said. “Or get out and stop wasting our time.”

Will stood because sitting felt like hiding.

“I’m hooked on stupid things,” he said. “Online games that don’t matter. Noise. Anything that keeps my head from getting too quiet.”

A few people nodded. Recognition, not sympathy.

“And when that doesn’t work,” he went on, faster now, like momentum might carry him through, “I look for distractions that don’t ask questions. People who don’t care who I am when the lights come on. Transactions. No names. No expectations.”

The room shifted. No laughter this time.

“I drink,” Will said. “Because it’s easier than remembering what I’m avoiding.”

He sat back down hard, chest tight, like he’d admitted to something worse than addiction.

Emma studied him, pen still.

“That’s a lot of effort,” she said, “for a man who claims he just wants to numb out.”

Her voice dropped.

“Nobody works that hard to disappear unless they’re running from something specific.”

Silence pressed in from all sides.

Will stared at his shoes.

“Meeting’s over,” Emma said. “You—statue—grab a coffee with me.”

The diner down the street smelled like scorched bread and old grease. Will slid into a cracked vinyl booth across from Emma, a mug of black coffee steaming between them like a truce he didn’t trust. His hands clenched around the rim until his knuckles went pale.

She waited.

Ally’s name came out first.

Then the rest followed—halting, uneven. The floor screaming under weight. Steel giving way. Sirens. Joseph fighting for breath on the gurney. Surgery. The quiet, cruel fact of Joseph dying anyway.

Will tore napkins from the dispenser, wiped his face, balled them up like they could hold the mess. He pulled out a cigarette pack, crushed it in his fist, smoothed it, crushed it again.

“I should’ve been there,” he said. “He was supposed to come home. Watch them fall in love. Walk his daughter down the aisle. See his boy make it to the pros. We both knew that kid had it.”

Emma said nothing.

“If someone had to die,” Will said, voice breaking despite him, “it should’ve been me.”

She let the silence stretch until it hurt.

Then she said, quietly, “Joseph knew what was at stake. He suited up every day. He died doing what he believed in.” She looked at him. “Why are you trying to take that from him?”

Will stared at the stained tabletop. His shoulders sagged, something finally giving way.

Outside, rain misted the street, turning the light soft and smeared. Will lit a cigarette, the ember flaring between his fingers. Emma reached for it after his first drag, took one herself, and handed it back.

They stood there in the drizzle, jackets darkening, the city breathing around them.

Nothing was fixed.

But nothing was hidden anymore.

No Shortcuts, No Alibis

2026/01/19Posted in ProseTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, writer's life, writers on writing, writing, writing tips1 Comment

Sometimes writers convince themselves that once something is written, it’s finished. That the act of getting the words down somehow completes the work. We couldn’t be more wrong.

What I was taught—what I still believe—is that the real task of writing is telling the whole story. And to do that, we have to get the hell out of the way. The story doesn’t belong to us in the way we like to pretend it does. Especially not at first. During the drafting phase, we’re nothing more than heralds—messengers racing to get the thing down before it slips away.

Joan Didion understood this when she said, “I write entirely to find out what I’m thinking.”
That’s drafting in its purest form. Discovery, not control.

I once tried to describe that stage in a poem:

We find ourselves scribbling lines on the sidewalk in chalk before the rain.

That’s what drafting feels like—urgent, temporary, fearless. Those days are intoxicating. The rush of building something from nothing. I don’t know anything else in this life that quite compares. At least, not in the short time I’ve been conscious on this side of the veil.

Recently, I reread my first published work. I was eight years old, so let’s be clear—it wasn’t an opus. Three sentences. Awful ones, if I’m honest. But what struck me wasn’t the quality. It was the fearlessness. I had an idea, I wrote it, and I sent it off without apology. When I saw my name in the newspaper, something locked into place. This—telling stories—was what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Back then, I drew the same way. Without fear. Without permission. My mother encouraged that impulse, making sure I always had the tools I needed. My father, a no-nonsense man who believed in steady paychecks, was less convinced. Even now, people still tell me writing is a hobby. Usually because I haven’t published anything recently. Because there’s no obvious financial exchange. Most of these people have never written anything past a book report or a high-school essay. They mean well, I suppose. But the work doesn’t stop being work just because it’s unpaid.

“Practice makes perfect.”
“Just keep working at it and you’ll get better.”

Those words once meant something to me. They were offered as measures of success—not just in writing, but in life. Put in the hours. Show up. Repeat. What I’ve learned since is this: practice alone is never the whole picture.

Proficiency doesn’t come from repetition by itself. Repetition without reflection only reinforces what you already do. Sometimes that means improvement. Other times, it means you’re just getting more efficient at the wrong things. Writing fails less often at the level of mechanics than it does at the level of thinking.

We study craft. We learn technique. And most importantly, we read. Not casually. Not as escape. But with attention. Reading a novel will teach you more than any classroom ever could. No disrespect to my professors or teachers, but the page doesn’t deal in theory—it deals in execution. Tone isn’t explained; it’s demonstrated. Rhythm isn’t discussed; it’s felt.

Stephen King put it bluntly: “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write.”
That line isn’t encouragement. It’s a line in the sand.

Once you can see what’s possible—once you’ve felt what language can actually do—you can’t unsee it. Effort alone stops being enough. Practice without evolution becomes self-deception. And that’s where dissatisfaction enters. Not as failure, but as evidence.

James Baldwin understood the danger of stopping there. He wrote, “The purpose of art is to lay bare the questions that have been hidden by the answers.” Once dissatisfaction sharpens your vision, you’re no longer free to settle for easy resolutions. Revision becomes an ethical act—a refusal to smooth over what should remain jagged. A commitment to letting the questions stand, even when answers would be easier.

I remember deciding I wanted to be a writer and being immediately convinced of one thing: I would never be good enough to write something anyone wanted to read. Once, one of my brothers said to me, almost offhandedly, “You actually wrote something people can understand.” He didn’t mean to wound me. But doubt doesn’t need malice. It just needs permission. The comment didn’t stop me, but it slowed me down. It taught me to listen outward instead of inward.

Doubt is internal. More precisely, it’s a state of mind. A person can believe in themselves and still let the commentary of others take the wheel. That’s where Cyril Connolly comes in: “Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.” That line isn’t romantic. It’s a warning.

This is the key to writing.
Yeah, the shit just got real.

Revision is the magical part. I love drafting—but revision is where the work becomes something you can stand behind. One of my instructors once told me, after I’d spent more time whining than revising, that revision wasn’t punishment. It was opportunity. Re-vision. The chance to see the work again—clearly this time.

Revision isn’t about fixing mistakes. It’s about changing your angle of approach. Shifting a piece from third person to first. Cutting a scene you thought was essential. Letting a moment breathe longer than you planned. This is where the story starts telling you what it wants to be. And if you stay with it, revision often delivers something you never imagined at the start—something truer, something earned.

Like many writers, I have fragments scribbled across countless notebooks. Every so often, I pull one of them out and sit with it again. Pen in hand. Quiet room. That’s when the noise fades and the work and I stop pushing against each other. We have a conversation. If I’ve done my job well, the reader gets to listen in.

After I finish a revision, I let the work sit. I owe that pause to myself—and to the piece. My goal is simple, though not easy: the work must be honest, cohesive, and carry the same integrity I demand from the things I choose to read. Anything less feels like a betrayal.

You don’t need fancy machines or specialized devices. Just you, a quiet place, and the willingness to work. Write it down. Turn it upside down. Hold it up to the light and see what still holds. Stay with it long enough, and something shifts. You stop forcing the work. The work stops resisting you. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, you begin to trust each other.

When I sit on my porch preparing for the next session, I sometimes watch children playing hopscotch on the sidewalk. I remember chalk on my own hands. I rub my fingers together at the memory. Then I turn back to the blank page and begin again. No rushing. No forcing. Just a man listening to the wind, ready to hear what it has to say.

Author’s Note

This essay was sparked by Ted’s piece, Rewrite, rewrite. Revise, revise. His reminder arrived at the right moment—quiet, direct, and honest about the work most of us would rather rush past. It wasn’t a lesson so much as a nudge, the kind that lingers after you’ve closed the page.

I’m grateful for that spark. Not because it told me what to do, but because it sent me back to the page asking better questions. This piece is a companion to his—not an answer, not a rebuttal—just another voice walking the same road from a slightly different angle.

Thanks, Ted, for lighting the match and trusting the work enough to keep striking it again.

The Loneliest Sound

2026/01/182026/01/18Posted in ProseTagged 3TC, creative writing, daily exercise, Ink and Wounds, poetry, writing1 Comment

I hear slumber calling—
a distant, lonely sound,
perhaps the loneliest I have ever known.
It carries empty promises of peace,
visions of places we have been
and realms we never earned the right to imagine.

Sleep assembles us like a kit
with missing instructions,
parts rattling loose in the dark.
Whatever it forges does not cool cleanly—
it leaves us fired and cracked,
pulled from the kiln too soon.

When it is over,
when the dust finally settles,
we sit on the edge of the bed,
spines bent at an old kink
we forgot we learned,
waiting for something to return—

something to tell us
how this works again,
how it is
to breathe.

Author’s Note

My thanks to Di for hosting the #MM301 challenge. These prompts don’t arrive gently—they sit with you, press a little, and ask what’s still unresolved. This piece grew out of that quiet pressure, out of what lingers after the noise fades. I’m grateful for the space to explore that edge, and for the invitation to listen closely to what remains unsaid.

Distance Doesn’t Need a Name

2026/01/18Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, FOWC, life, RDP, short-story, Splinters, Word of the day, writing2 Comments

The road didn’t begin anywhere I could remember. It just opened beneath my boots, a thin yellow line cutting through snow like a promise someone else once made and never intended to keep. Each step came with a dry, brittle crunch, the sound of something breaking politely. The cold worked its way through the soles of my boots, climbed my ankles, and settled behind my knees like it planned to stay awhile. Abandoned trucks sat half-buried on either side, their doors ajar, rust blooming along their seams. They looked like they’d tried to leave once, stalled mid-decision, and surrendered to weather and time. I understood them more than I wanted to.

I kept walking anyway. Forward motion has a way of pretending it’s purpose.

There should probably be a disclaimer here—something about whiteout conditions, emotional exposure, the way memory lies when the temperature drops—but no one reads those when they’re already committed to being alone. Besides, I’d ignored better warnings before.

I replayed the conversation in real-time, every word arriving with the same dull thud it had the first time. I never knew what it took to make you stay. All I ever had were the wrong sentences, delivered too late or too flat, like apologies left on voicemail. I mistook restraint for dignity, silence for strength. I thought playing it cool might make me look unafraid. Instead, it just made me unreachable as you turned and walked away, your outline thinning against the horizon until even regret lost track of you.

The snow did what mirrors always do—it told the truth without mercy. It reflected not my face but your absence, stretched long and pale across the road. You leaving. Again. Always again. The wind carried the smell of old oil and wet iron from the trucks, and somewhere deep in my chest, something tightened, the way it does when grief realizes it’s not done with you yet.

So far away.

I kept climbing hurdles that existed only because I needed resistance—what-ifs, if-onlys, almosts stacked one after another. My breath burned going in, scraped coming out. Effort felt holy for a while, like punishment might substitute for change. It didn’t. The road stayed long. The sky stayed heavy. I began to feel assembled rather than whole—a jalopy of a man, parts borrowed from better versions of myself, held together by habit and rust, still moving but no longer convinced of the destination.

I was the narrow space between pain and heartbreak, where neither one fully commits. I was the argument between love and sadness that never resolves. I was the darkness that shows up after the tears have dried, when there’s no audience left and no reason to perform resilience.

You were the one thing that made the cold feel survivable.
You are the one thing I couldn’t hold onto.

The trucks watched me pass, their empty windshields clouded, patient. They knew how this ended. They’d lived it. I didn’t stop. I didn’t turn back. Some days don’t offer redemption or clarity—only distance, widening with every step.

So far away.

And still, I walked.

Author’s Note

This piece was written for a convergence of daily creative challenges—FOWC, RDP, and Word of the Day—each acting less as a constraint and more as a pressure point. The image set the weather. The prompts supplied the friction. What followed was written in one pass, close to real-time, without smoothing the edges or rescuing the speaker from the walk he’d already committed to.

These challenges aren’t about polish; they’re about showing up, even on disappointing days, and letting the work reveal what’s still unfinished. This one did exactly that.

The Sound Something Makes When the Curtain Falls

2026/01/17Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, FOWC, RDP, short-story, Splinters, Word of the day, writing5 Comments

She waited in the hollow that followed the steam’s labor, when the pipes fell silent and the breathless mist drained away into a damp, almost reverent hush. The air still carried a faint eucalyptus tang, sharp and medicinal, the kind of scent meant to suggest renewal while quietly admitting it could never deliver it. In that moment, the chamber shed its antiseptic splendor—its tub and basins, once proud emblems of ritual washing—and became something closer to a holding cell. Not a place of punishment, exactly, but containment. The marble walls felt less like luxury than enforcement: white stone veined like ancestral riverbeds, cold by design, reminding her that comfort was always leased, never owned—and that someone, somewhere, had already paid in blood or debt or silence.

She imagined herself as a figure trapped in a painting no one bothered to finish. The robe slipped from her shoulder, neither invitation nor accident, just gravity doing what it always does in the end—pulling everything downward, stripping illusion inch by inch until there was nothing left to negotiate with.

The mirror offered no mercy. It didn’t flatter or distort; it audited. Its reflection carried the sterile precision of an accountant’s ledger, recording losses without commentary. Fine lines fanned from the corners of her mouth. A furrow had claimed permanent residence between her brows. At her throat, the skin no longer insisted—it yielded. Each mark indicated she spent late nights standing still while decisions were made elsewhere, started mornings already tired, and rationed intimacy, mislabeling it as compromise. She met her own gaze and did not look away, not out of bravery—out of fatigue. Anyone could assemble a mask. Few could bear the weight of seeing what remained when the mask finally cracked.

She had learned to spot performance everywhere. Confidence sold by the inch, tailored and pressed, then paraded as authenticity. Desire shrink-wrapped, reheated, passed hand to hand until it lost all heat and meaning. Intimacy reduced to choreography—glances practiced, sounds cued, exits planned. She had participated. More than once, she’d worn her own counterfeit self like armor: a smile that cost nothing, a nod that promised compliance without surrender, a silence that said this will not follow me home. Those tactics worked—until they didn’t. Until the stage lights dimmed and she realized she’d mistaken endurance for strength.

A bead of water slipped free from her hairline and traced a slow, deliberate path down her temple. It curved along her jaw, lingered at the hollow of her collarbone, then detached and struck the marble bench below with a soft, obscene plop. The sound landed heavier than it should have, echoing in the room like punctuation—final, unavoidable. It startled her. Not because it was loud, but because it was real. Something had fallen, and nothing rushed in to explain it away.

She let her hands rest where they landed—one against her knee, the other flat on the bench, skin cooling fast against stone. There was a quiet defiance in not arranging herself, in refusing the reflex to pose or brace or correct. Her body softened. Her thoughts did not. Instead, they began to close ranks. Regret, curiosity, bitterness, the faint residue of want—things she usually scattered to survive the day—had gathered without her consent. Not neatly. Not kindly. Just enough to demand acknowledgment.

This was the moment most people missed. Not the spectacle, not the collapse, but the narrow interval afterward—the space where there was no audience left to please and no script to hide behind. A reckoning without witnesses. A pause where the scaffolding of roles—lover, professional, survivor—stood exposed long enough to reveal how temporary it all was. She had avoided this space for years, filling it with noise, motion, ambition. Now it held her still.

Soon she would leave this marble mausoleum, wrap herself in fabric chosen for its discretion, and step back into the corridor of borrowed lives and borrowed confidence. She would speak when expected, laugh on cue, disappear politely when required. But she would carry this with her: the unguarded second when nothing was staged, when nothing asked her to perform. The cost of admission had been simple and brutal—you had to see yourself whole.

And you had to stay.

Author’s Note

My thanks to the hosts and community behind FOWC, RDP, and Word of the Day for creating spaces that reward risk, restraint, and the quiet work between spectacle and truth. Challenges like these aren’t just prompts—they’re pressure points, asking writers to stay present long enough to see what remains when the easy choices fall away.

Looking for a Reason to Sit Still

2026/01/172026/01/16Posted in SplintersTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Splinters, writing1 Comment

Morning found her exactly where she’d gone to ground—at the small kitchen table by the window, curlers still biting gently at her scalp, both hands wrapped around a mug that had already surrendered its heat. The light came in low and amber, catching dust in the air, making the room feel older than it was.

She had decided—officially—to go on a spiritual journey after the breakup. That’s what she told people. It sounded cleaner than the truth.

He had been good to her. Attentive in ways that left no room to hide. He remembered what she needed before she asked. That, more than anything, had made her restless.

Her friends said she was jinxed. Said love slid off her like rain off wax. One of them even joked she should find a holy man, let him wave incense around her head, burn out whatever faulty wiring made her allergic to staying.

She watched the window instead of answering, thumb tracing a chip along the rim of the mug. The coffee smelled faintly bitter now, stale.

The truth was quieter. The moment something began to feel safe, she felt the familiar itch—like engines warming somewhere inside her chest. She didn’t fall apart. She didn’t scream. She simply started looking for a reason to jet.

So she called it a journey. Let the word soften the leaving. Let it sound like movement instead of retreat. Outside, the morning went on without her, steady and unconcerned, while she sat very still, wondering when rest had started to feel like a trap.

Listening to Madness

2026/01/16Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1819, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

The clutter I’m learning to reduce isn’t physical—it’s internal. For years, I filled my creative process with unnecessary layers: over-explaining, over-structuring, and second-guessing instincts that were already sound. What looked like discipline was often a lack of trust.

As I’ve grown as an artist, I’ve realized that my voice was never the problem. The clutter came from stepping in too often—guiding the reader instead of letting them discover, rushing work before it had the time to settle into its own shape. That impulse to manage every outcome added noise where there should have been space.

Reducing clutter, for me, means removing that interference. It means listening to the work, to the unease, to the so-called madness I once tried to control or explain away. Once I connect the dots and nothing inside me flinches, the work is ready. Anything beyond that is excess.

The simplification isn’t about doing less. It’s about getting out of the way.

Daily writing prompt

Where can you reduce clutter in your life?

View all responses

Right on Cue

2026/01/16Posted in SplintersTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, FSS, life, love, short-story, Splinters, writing4 Comments

Dawn came early, the way it always did—no warning, no mercy. The sun didn’t rise so much as shove its way in through the slit where the blackout curtain had given up, and the landlord’s plastic rod had bowed to gravity. Even with my eyes shut, the light burned red behind my lids, hot and insistent, like it had something personal to settle.

I reached for the clock on the milk crate beside the mattress and knocked over the chipped mug I’d forgotten to finish. The smell of stale coffee lifted into the room, bitter and faintly sour. Three hours. Maybe three and a half if I lied to myself. The numbers glowed an accusing green.

Sleep used to feel like rest. Somewhere along the way, it turned into a negotiation. Too much, and I woke up slow, waterlogged. Too little, and every sound cut straight through me. Either way, the house won. It always did. I’d learned to live with that, the way you live with a low-grade ache—by pretending it wasn’t there until it suddenly was.

I sat up carefully, joints popping like they were keeping score, and I was losing. Five years in this apartment, and my body never lets me forget what it cost to stay. For too much rent, I got one bedroom, a kitchen that doubled as a hallway, and a bathroom floor that sloped in three directions, none of them toward the drain. To knock a few hundred off the rent, I’d agreed to be the building’s super—a title that came with keys, complaints, and the quiet understanding that nothing was ever really under control.

I didn’t mind the work. There was a grim satisfaction in fixing things with vise-grips and duct tape, in persuading broken parts to cooperate. The tenants left me alone until something failed. Then it was always my fault: the pipes, the heat, the smells that crept up from the basement like unfinished conversations. I kept a toolbox in the hall and a can of WD-40 on every windowsill. Some days, that was enough to feel useful.

For a long time, the building held a fragile peace. People suffered privately. Doors stayed closed. Even the plumbing knew better than to complain too loudly. Then, six months ago, something shifted.

The guy in 4B decided the rest of the world no longer mattered.

It took four months to learn his rhythm. Another two to accept that there was no beating it. If he was awake, the building was awake. Television blaring. Speakerphone arguments with creditors and voices I never heard respond. Footsteps that shook dust loose from the ceiling. Noise as occupation.

Right on schedule, the first sound tore through the pipes—a wet, animal bellow that rattled the radiators. I lay there counting the beats that followed. I knew the order. I always did. The grunts. The crash of something heavy. The metallic clatter of breakfast was like a punishment.

You could set your watch by it, if you didn’t mind waking up disappointed.

I swung my legs off the mattress and crossed to the sink, splashing my face with water that couldn’t decide what temperature it wanted to be. My hands shook slightly as I braced against the porcelain. In the cracked mirror, I barely recognized the man looking back—thinning hair, bruised eyes, a face that had learned how to endure by going blank.

Behind me, the apartment listened. The fan sighed. The fridge ticked. A cockroach darted from behind the toaster and froze. We’d reached an understanding, the bugs and me. I didn’t hunt them, and they kept their distance. I flicked the crumb tray. The roach vanished.

From down the hall came the roar of a daytime talk show and a voice shouting back at it, furious and certain. The sound slid under my skin, settled somewhere I hadn’t named yet.

I stood there longer than I meant to.

Then I crossed the hall.

I didn’t knock.

With one kick, the door gave way.

The sound of splitting wood cracked the morning open. The towel jammed beneath the door skidded free and the smell rushed out—burnt oil, old sweat, something sour that had stopped pretending it was food. It hit me all at once, thick enough to taste.

The television kept screaming.

He stood frozen in the middle of the room, frying pan dangling from his hand, eyes wide with the kind of surprise men wear when the world finally refuses to accommodate them. For a second, neither of us moved. I could feel my heart hammering against my ribs, each beat sharp and electric, like my body was bracing for something it hadn’t agreed to yet.

I hadn’t planned anything past the kick. No speech. No threat. Just the quiet that rushed in behind it, heavy and unfamiliar.

“Turn it off,” I said.

My voice didn’t sound like mine. It was low, even. That seemed to scare him more than the door ever could. If I’m honest, it scared me a bit as well. He looked at the television, then back at me, like he was weighing his options for the first time in a long while.

I took one step inside.

The frying pan hit the floor. The volume dipped, then cut out entirely. The silence that followed felt exposed, like skin after a bandage is pulled away. Thin walls. Held breath. A building pretending not to watch.

I stood there longer than I should have. Long enough to notice that the quiet felt good. Long enough to realize how easily I could get used to it. That was the part that stayed with me.

I left before it could harden into something else.

Back in the hall, my leg started to shake. Not fear—release. The kind that comes after you cross a line you didn’t know you were standing near. I leaned my palm against the wall until it passed, the paint cool and gritty, grounding me in a way nothing else had all morning.

The building stayed quiet.

It wouldn’t last. I knew that. Letters, calls, consequences—those were already lining up. But none of that mattered right then.

What mattered was this:
for the first time in months, the noise had stopped because of me.

And that knowledge sat heavier than the sound ever had.

Author’s Note

My thanks to Fandango for hosting FSS #230 and for continuing to make space for writers to test edges, take risks, and let stories breathe a little rough. Flash work like this thrives on constraint and invitation in equal measure, and it’s always a pleasure to step into a prompt that encourages both tension and honesty. I appreciate the time, attention, and community that go into keeping these sessions alive—and for giving this piece a place to land.

— Mangus Khan

The Distance We Practiced

2026/01/15Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, MMLM, short-story, Splinters, writing2 Comments

The city leaned toward midnight, its spine bent by years of weather and worse decisions. They moved with it, two figures descending an alley that felt designed for secrecy. The stones underfoot were slick, dusted with rain and soot, each step stirring a faint echo that refused to settle. From somewhere above, a tired streetlamp cast a thin beam of light—weak, jaundiced, unable to decide what deserved illumination.

She walked to his left, he to her right, the arrangement deliberate and old. Once, it had been instinct. Now it was habit, the kind that survives after meaning has burned off. The space between them was exact, calibrated, a distance duplicated so many nights it no longer felt accidental. Anyone watching from a window might have mistaken them for a pair, but the city knew better. The city always did.

The alley’s walls were dark, their bricks breathing out the memory of arguments and bargains struck too cheaply. The air smelled of wet iron and neglect. Each shuttered window felt reminiscent of something neither wanted to name—other walks, other endings postponed by cowardice or hope.

Near the top of the incline, he remembered the night he’d told her she was the only thing in the world worth keeping. He’d believed it then. That was what made remembering dangerous. A promise, once cherished, doesn’t fade quietly—it sharpens.

She stopped without warning. He took two more steps before the absence registered, before the silence took shape and weight. It felt ceremonial. Final.

“This is where I turn,” she said. No tremor. No plea.

He nodded. Anything more would have been an insult—to what they’d been, or to the truth they’d finally stopped dodging.

She turned away, footsteps receding until they dissolved into the city’s indifferent breathing. He stayed where he was, letting the streetlamp buzz overhead, letting the cold settle in his bones. Then he turned back the way they’d come, alone now, the alley already closing ranks behind him as if he’d never been there at all.

No Ceremony

2026/01/15Posted in FictionTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, FOWC, Madness Made Visible, Ragtag Daily Prompt, RDP, short-story, Word of the day, writing5 Comments

She waited on the platform where the light gave up trying to decide what she was. Not shadow, not brightness—just a woman standing in the gap, coat buttoned tight like a lie she’d practiced until it stopped sounding like one. The fabric was bruise-black, the kind that never quite turns yellow, only learns how to pass for healed. Rain worked her hair into a damp argument she didn’t bother to win.

The glass beside her held a version she didn’t trust. That woman looked finished—eyes steady, mouth neutral, the expression of someone who had crossed a line and discovered there was no lightning waiting on the other side. No voice of God. Just silence, clean and disappointing. This place was outside her remit now, but she came anyway. Old habits cling harder when they know they’re about to be abandoned.

She balanced one heel near the yellow edge, close enough to feel the threat without committing. Leaving was an art. The trick wasn’t escape—it was delay. Linger long enough and running starts to resemble waiting. Cowardice, rebranded as coincidence.

The commuters slid past her in fragments: headphones, wet collars, eyes trained on floors and phones. A man in a suit brushed by, close enough to smell his soap, and didn’t see her. Another looked once, then flinched away, as if her presence required an accounting he didn’t have time for. Good. She had no interest in being inventoried.

The lights overhead were merciless—fluorescent, flattening, turning every choice into a verdict. Stay or go. Be or disappear. She belonged to neither. She lived in the half-second before impact, the space where outcomes hadn’t hardened yet. There was something alluring about that suspension—possibility clenched tight, regret still out of breath.

Her phone buzzed inside her pocket. Twice. Then nothing. She didn’t check it. Whatever waited there had already failed its audition. She’d learned the shape of absence well enough to recognize when it fit.

When the train came, it did so without ceremony. No warning, no forgiveness. Just metal and wind and the sound of time keeping its appointments. Doors opened. She stepped inside and stood, refusing the comfort of a seat, watching the platform slide away. The city folded back on itself in reverse, erasing her inch by inch, reflection first.

She didn’t look back.

The glass already had.

Standing Still Is Agreement

2026/01/14Posted in Dispatches from the Splinters of My MindTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Dispatches, fantasy, Fiction, life, short-story, writingLeave a comment

Dispatches from the Splinters of my Mind – Entry 13

I can’t say when the corridor first materialized. There’s no memory of a door ajar, no misstep that explains it. No hinge, no threshold. It simply arrived—complete, unquestioned—as if I had been born inside its walls rather than wandered into them.

That absence troubles me more than the corridor itself. Things are supposed to begin somewhere. Even disasters announce themselves. Here, there was nothing—no sound, no light, no before. Just the corridor, already waiting.

The stone underfoot is smooth in places, chipped in others. Scarred. Once, it might have gleamed. Now it absorbs everything—light, heat, attention. When I stand too long, the cold works its way up through my soles, into my calves, settling deeper than I expect. The air tastes of damp mineral and old stillness. My breath sounds too loud. Like I’ve violated a rule I didn’t know existed.

Columns line the hall, evenly spaced, grey, worn at the edges. Order, at first glance. I try counting them. I always lose track. The numbers slip away before I can hold them. The spacing stays perfect anyway, as if my failure doesn’t matter.

They enclose me like ribs. Protective, maybe. Or something else.

Between the columns stand figures.

Tall. Draped in dark cloth that hangs without argument. No faces turned toward me. No movement. Still, the silence feels occupied. Crowded. I get the sense—not strong enough to prove, not weak enough to ignore—that I am being observed without being acknowledged.

Measured. Not judged. That’s worse.

I tell myself they’re statues. Stone doesn’t remember. Stone doesn’t notice what you’d rather stay buried. I repeat this until it almost settles.

Almost.

Because stone doesn’t breathe. Stone doesn’t shift its weight. And once—just once—I’m sure I see the faintest disturbance near a mouth that isn’t there.

I count again. One. Two. Three. Ten arrives too quickly. The first column feels impossibly far behind me. The corridor refuses to resolve. No vanishing point. No end.

I step forward.

Nothing responds.

No echo. No change in air. Even movement feels unregistered here, like a suggestion the corridor doesn’t bother acknowledging. I take another step, slower. Careful. As if the place might punish urgency.

Still nothing.

It occurs to me—not as panic, not as revelation—but the way one notes an administrative error, that I may have been walking for far longer than I realize.

The figures are closer now. I can see details in the cloth. A frayed hem. A discoloration near the shoulder. Small failures. Human ones.

I stop in front of one.

The head tilts slightly, as if listening for instructions that never arrived. The face is unfinished. Not erased. Abandoned. Close enough.

The posture unsettles me.

Not because I recognize it—but because my body does.

I move on.

The corridor offers no resistance.

Further in, the repetition presses harder. My mind starts supplying differences where none announce themselves. That one looks tired. That one resigned.

That one—

I stop.

The resemblance isn’t in features. It’s in stance. The way the weight settles. The way the shoulders give up without collapsing. Endurance. Learned, not chosen.

I don’t touch it. I don’t need to.

For a moment—longer than I’m comfortable admitting—the idea takes hold that I belong here. There’s space. There’s always space. The corridor doesn’t move people through. It keeps them.

Wrapped in the same dark cloth. Standing. Waiting. Time thinning out until questions lose their edges. It would be quiet. Predictable. Safe in the way anesthesia is safe.

The ease of the thought terrifies me.

I turn and walk on.

The floor changes. Cracks spread across the stone—raised, uneven, pressing up from below. I step around them without thinking. Tripping feels… wrong. Like a violation.

The figures thin. The columns pull back. The silence changes. No longer expectant. Watchful.

Ahead, the corridor narrows.

This should feel like progress. It doesn’t.

I realize I haven’t looked back. The idea of turning around tightens something in my chest. Not because of what I might see—but because of what might not be there. Some confirmations feel irreversible.

The corridor begins repeating itself. The same broken stones. The same chips in the same places. The same figures I’m certain I’ve already passed.

This isn’t familiarity. It’s procedure.

I stop. I listen.

Nothing speaks. Nothing directs. The corridor continues without needing me.

That’s when it becomes clear—not all at once, not cleanly—that this place doesn’t lead anywhere. It keeps records. It preserves versions. It holds what arrives long enough for movement to feel unnecessary.

Time stretches. Thought dulls. The invitation is subtle. Reasonable.

I consider standing still.

The thought lingers longer than it should.

Then I step forward.

Not because I believe there’s an exit.
Not because progress feels real.

But because standing still feels too much like agreement.

Too Cool for Your Apocalypse

2026/01/13Posted in ProseTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Madness Made Visible, Prose, writing6 Comments

He doesn’t bark. He doesn’t rush. He surveys the wreckage like he’s seen worse and survived it with his tail intact. Neon light crawls across his fur—electric, unapologetic—turning instinct into attitude and loyalty into legend. The shades aren’t for show; they’re a boundary.
This is a creature who knows joy is a form of resistance. Who understands that style, like survival, is about refusing to disappear quietly.
The world can burn its palette down to ash if it wants.
He’ll still be here—cool, unbothered, and very much alive.

Synopsis

2026/01/12Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, Ragtag Daily Prompt, RDP, Short Stories, short-story, Splinters, Word of the day, writing6 Comments

The porch had learned him.

It knew the sound his knees made when he stood, the way his weight shifted before he sat, the exact board that dipped because he always landed there. It had taken years, but the wood had adjusted. That seemed fair. He was still working on it.

Ford claimed the left side. Chevy took the rail when it was warm, the chair when it wasn’t. The cooler stayed between them, neutral territory. No one argued about it anymore.

The pills were still in his pocket. He didn’t take them right away now. Not rebellion—delay. He liked the small window where his body still belonged to him before chemistry took over negotiations. The doctor called it wellness. He called it maintenance.

Earlier that day, at the pharmacy, the girl—no, the woman—had touched his hand.

Not accidentally. Not lingering. Just a soft, practiced thing as she explained what the pills did, how often, what to avoid. Younger, but not embarrassingly so. Age-appropriate, like that mattered.

The sensation moved through him fast and clean. A shockwave. Lovely. Immediate.

A smile crept onto his face before he could stop it.

She returned it. Let his hand go, then thanked him with a look that stayed a moment longer than necessary. A woman hadn’t looked at him like that in years. Maybe they had and he hadn’t noticed. Or maybe he hadn’t been ready to be seen—to feel anything other than the familiar ache of grief.

It felt like cheating on Olma Jean.

One of the last things OJ said—voice already thinning, eyes still sharp—was that he should live his life without her. Find someone. Share it. He’d called it hogwash at the time. Still did.

But he hadn’t pulled his hand away.

Because her touch proved something.
That he still existed.
That he was alive and visible, even if only for a moment.

It was nice to be seen.

He gathered his things quickly. Too quickly. He needed distance—from the counter, from the light, from what the moment threatened to become. Outside, he sat in his pickup with the bag of meds on the seat beside him and a fresh supply of treats for Ford and Chevy rattling in the cup holder.

Inside, the house still smelled faintly like citrus if the light hit it right. The juicer sat on the counter, dust settled into its seams. He hadn’t cleaned it. Couldn’t bring himself to. Everything turns permanent if you don’t argue back.

He sat down on the porch again, pills still in his pocket, the echo of that touch lingering longer than it had any right to.

He said the words out loud, just to hear them land.

He was still here.

The porch did not respond. It didn’t need to.

But for the first time in a long while, he didn’t sit because he was tired.

He sat because he wasn’t done.

Millhaven Cove – Chapter 1

2026/01/12Posted in Fiction, SplintersTagged creative writing, daily exercise, family, Fiction, Fiction Series, life, love, Splinters, writing3 Comments

Chapter 1

The Sister

Dawn in Millhaven Cove never comes in fresh. It oozes through the horizon like sour milk spilled on an oil-slicked counter—thin, cold, already unwanted. The sky hangs bruised and jaundiced, more purplish bruise than golden promise. Morning stumbles in with a limp. The air tastes of scorched coffee grounds, stale cigarette ash, and the weary indifference of a town that looks right through you once it’s marked you as invisible.

I spent nights wedged behind a shuttered bakery by the harbor, my back pressed to crumbling brick, concrete scraping my shirt. I slept on yesterday’s newspaper, drinking in the damp sea breeze when I dared. Dawn cut me out of sleep and pushed me toward Maple and Third—the bleakest corner in town—where I’d squat on the curb, shoulders drawn in, while traffic lights blinked urgent and useless, as if blinking hard enough might change something. Politeness was a luxury here. Vulnerability was currency: if you whispered, no one listened; if you trembled, they stared at the pavement.

That’s Millhaven Cove’s quiet contract: the more you need, the more you disappear.

My fall wasn’t dramatic. No sirens. No headline moment. It was a slow rust—one small compromise piling on the next until the floor finally splintered under me. Once, I punched time cards at the pencil factory on East Main—where we turned graphite and paint into elemental optimism for schoolkids. Blue pencils for hope. Yellow for caution. Green for keep going. I believed in the alchemy of small things. I believed that mattered.

I dated a woman who clipped horoscopes from magazines and wrapped my sandwiches with love notes. She said my Taurus stubbornness grounded her. She left when my stubbornness calcified into inertia.

When the factory shuttered—another silent casualty of digital “progress”—rent notices multiplied like mold. Groceries became cheap beer from the corner store; my bed became a park bench. My apartment vanished first thing in fine print, a tidy legal erasure of everything I’d built. I held on to one relic: a stub of an optimism pencil, worn down to the metal ferrule, the eraser chewed into a jagged ulcer of hope. I stuck it in my pocket like proof that I’d once had a reason to believe.

The final push came in my sister’s handwriting. She’s a social worker, so her we love you was perfectly folded—professional compassion. Then, in cramped smaller letters that cut deeper: Don’t come home unless you mean it. No one tells you how it guts you when the last person you could count on decides to stop rescuing you.

I read that line over and over until it carved itself behind my eyes.

Addiction, I learned, isn’t about the drink or the pill—it’s about boundaries bleeding away. You almost forget they were ever there. First it’s never before noon. Then never except on Tuesdays. Then only when it rains. Until one morning you wake on a Thursday with rain soaking your face and realize you’ve broken every last promise you swore would save you. And you’ve become the very person you swore you’d never be. My universe shrank to three stained blocks—the bus station restroom, the liquor store with its plastic mini-bottle display, and the blinking OPEN 24 HRS sign that lied as much as I did. The letters R and S in HOURS had rusted off. I figured they’d given up too.

Salvation didn’t rock up with trumpets. It slapped me in the knee—literally—with a flapping flyer on a February wind: MILLHAVEN COVE RENEWAL CENTER—HOPE STARTS HERE. I laughed. Hope was a billboard lie for people who had backup plans. Still, the ink ran into my thumb and something in my chest stirred. Reflex or longing, I tore off the address tab and tucked it beside the pencil stub.

That night, under a sputtering streetlamp, I counted coins and did the math I’d done a thousand times before: another night numb or a reckless bet on this “renewal.” I split the difference—bought a stale muffin, saved the bus fare, vowed to step inside for just one day.

The center’s lobby was too bright, too clean—like it expected me to behave. A receptionist with kind, tired eyes asked my name and didn’t flinch at Just Jake. She handed me forms and a cup of coffee from a silver carafe so polished I almost didn’t recognize my hollow face in its curve. Then group therapy: folding chairs in a circle, voices trembling over past wreckage—some confessing like defusing landmines, others brandishing their losses as badges. We worshiped at the altar of worst of all. I found myself nodding along to the litany of broken promises.

Detox was brutal. No poetry there—just nights that shook me raw, bones aching as if life itself had been wrung out. Dreams clawed their way back through the surface. I cursed every well-meaning soul who’d ever said, Take it one day at a time. But the mornings came anyway. Hot showers scoured the residue of last night’s shame; accidental laughter cracked through the tension like sunlight.

I relapsed once. Hard. My sister’s voice on my cell phone, begging me not to die, cut straight through the stupor. Guilt came roaring back—who begs a grown man not to kill himself? She talks like my darkness can be fixed by daylight rules. Like I don’t remember her own sleigh rides, the ones she labeled letting off steam. I’ve heard that story before. I’ve told it myself. Just take the edge off. I could throw a rock and hit five people with that same excuse in any direction. She’s sober now, settled into the role, preaching the familiar sermons with the confidence of someone who made it out. I know she’s disappointed in me. But what gutted me more was realizing how deeply disappointed I was in myself. Everything I’d clawed back slipped away in a haze. Still, this time, I limped right back to the same folding chair. Learned—again—that humility isn’t erasure.

Recovery taught me to treasure tiny victories: brushing my teeth, making my bed. No banner-waving moments—just head-down work. I wrote apology letters I wasn’t sure anyone deserved. They felt clichéd, hollow gestures—a whisper of regret in a storm of consequences. But I mailed them anyway. My sister wrote back: I’m proud of you. I read that line until the paper thinned in my hands.

And then—no grand finale, just quiet change. I started volunteering. I found work sweeping floors at the very bakery I’d slept behind. I stopped conflating survival with absolution. I showed up.

They love the I got better ending. But they never ask what recovery cost. Sobriety didn’t hand me clarity so much as it stripped away the fog that used to soften every edge. Now I see the damage—mine and everyone else’s. I see how close the drop-off still is. How easily survival can become a performance.

Sometimes I still roll that chewed-down pencil stub between my fingers, feeling the metal edge where hope’s eraser used to be. It reminds me that hope isn’t a color someone hands you. It’s something you sharpen, again and again, knowing it might splinter at any moment.

Millhaven Cove remains bruised at dawn. The streets still turn their faces from those who need too much. But some mornings, when the light slices through the haze just right, I can stand in it without flinching.

That’s not a miracle.
It’s a chair I keep coming back to—
and a morning that, once in a while, doesn’t limp quite so badly.

Silence Does Not Yield

2026/01/11Posted in SplintersTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, FOWC, life, love, Ragtag Daily Prompt, RDP, short-story, Splinters, writing4 Comments

I kept thinking I needed something new to say.
What I really needed was to sit still long enough to hear the words that were already here, humming beneath my skin.

The room smells of dust and old paper, touched by the faint metallic cold that creeps in when winter presses its cheek against the glass. The windows vibrate in their sills, a thin argument with the wind.

I push the front door open and let the cold in. It slices across my face, biting cheeks and knuckles with clean precision. The air passes me as if I’m furniture—no more consequential than an empty chair. When I close the door, the room exhales. The smell settles into something familiar. Something that knows my weight.

On the porch, the boards groan underfoot. The world reduces itself: wind through bare branches, a distant car, the patience of winter waiting for nothing. I linger between inside and out, as if crossing back requires permission I haven’t earned, as if I need to traverse something unseen before I’m allowed to return.

I’ve been hunched at the desk for hours. Or days. My legs ache like rusted hinges; my spine stiffens when I shift. Time has stopped offering its verdict, and I don’t ask for one. Some distances aren’t measured in miles or minutes, but in how long you can endure your own thoughts without reaching for escape.

The notebook lies open before me. Blank. Not accusing—just patient. The page holds a quiet gravity, waiting for something that won’t wilt under light. I’ve tried to force pages like this before. Paper never yields to pressure. Only to attention.

I used to think silence meant absence. I know better now. Silence is crowded—filled with abandoned sentences, thoughts I promised I’d return to when I was steadier, braver, less tired. They linger whether they’re too heavy to lift or too plain to hide behind craft.

Seamus offers a single, unimpressed meow and resumes washing her paw. Judgment delivered.

The clock ticks, stubborn and slow. Outside, children’s laughter cuts the air, then disappears. Branches scrape as squirrels tear through the trees, reckless with energy I no longer spend freely. Somewhere just beyond my vision, something waits. I don’t turn. I don’t speak.

The radiator clicks once and settles. A car passes, tires whispering over wet pavement, already forgetting where it’s been.

The pen shifts between my fingers. I hadn’t noticed how tightly I was holding it. Ink meets paper—soft, inevitable. One word forms. Careful. Measured. Not a beginning. A catalyst.

I don’t rush to follow it.

I stay where I am, listening.

The Middle Is the Hard Part

2026/01/01Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-1804, life, mental health, personal-growth, The Daily's, writing5 Comments

My biggest challenge isn’t discipline. It’s discernment.

I have no shortage of ideas, responsibilities, or obligations. The challenge is knowing which ones deserve my time, my energy, and my attention—and which ones are just noise dressed up as urgency. Not everything that demands me is worth me.

Consistency is another ongoing battle. I can show up strong, work hard, and push through difficult stretches, but staying steady—especially once the initial momentum fades—takes real effort. Closely tied to that is finishing what I start. I’m good at beginnings. I’m learning to respect the grind of the middle and the responsibility of the ending. Completion requires a different kind of discipline than inspiration.

A large part of this came into focus in 2025. I spent much of that year trying to rediscover myself—to reset, recalibrate, and recover in ways that weren’t visible from the outside. Mental recovery, I’ve learned, can be far more demanding than physical recovery. It doesn’t follow a clear timeline, and it doesn’t announce progress. You just keep showing up, often without proof you’re moving forward.

There’s also patience. I want things to mean something now. I want the work to land, the effort to show, the long hours to justify themselves in visible ways. But most of the meaningful things I’ve built—craft, clarity, trust—have moved slowly, almost stubbornly. Learning to stay present during that slow burn instead of rushing the outcome is a lesson I keep revisiting.

At the same time, I’m willing to take things to the next level. That willingness is real—but willingness alone isn’t enough. It has to be backed by consistency, follow-through, and the humility to refine instead of constantly reinventing.

There’s also the tension between solitude and connection. I do some of my best thinking and creating alone, but too much isolation turns reflective into restless. Finding the balance between protecting my inner world and staying engaged with others is a daily calibration, not a solved equation.

And finally, there’s honesty—with myself. It’s easy to frame exhaustion as productivity, avoidance as busyness, or comfort as contentment. The harder work is stopping long enough to ask whether I’m actually aligned with what I say matters, or just moving out of habit.

None of these challenges are dramatic. They don’t announce themselves. They show up quietly—in choices, in delays, in what I finish and what I leave behind. That’s why they matter.

Daily writing prompt

What are your biggest challenges?

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Where I Stand After Illusions Fade

2025/12/28Posted in ProseTagged blogging, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2166, life, love, mental health, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

Two years ago, I said my political views hadn’t changed. That was true—and also a way of avoiding a harder admission.

What hadn’t changed were my beliefs. What had begun to change was my patience.

I still don’t “do politics” in the tribal sense. I don’t wear colors. I don’t chant. I don’t confuse certainty with wisdom. I prefer things plainspoken—say what you mean, stand where you stand. But time has taught me that clarity is rarely welcome. It disrupts narratives. It slows momentum. It asks inconvenient questions in rooms built for applause.

What age gave me wasn’t ideology. It gave me pattern recognition.

I’ve watched language get sanded down until it no longer cuts the people it was meant to protect. I’ve watched fear dressed up as concern and sold as leadership. I’ve watched principles become flexible the moment they interfered with comfort, power, or belonging. And if I’m honest, I didn’t always call it out. Sometimes I stayed quiet—not because I agreed, but because silence was cheaper.

That part matters.

Politics isn’t confined to ballots or podiums. It shows up in workplaces where “fit” means obedience. In families where peace is bought by swallowing disagreement. In churches where doubt is treated as disloyalty. It lives in who gets grace and who gets labeled a problem. I used to tell myself I was outside of it. I wasn’t. I was just benefiting from not being the immediate target.

What’s changed most is my relationship with certainty.

I no longer trust people who speak in absolutes while never paying a personal price for them. I’m less interested in what someone claims to believe and more interested in what they’re willing to risk for it—reputation, access, comfort, belonging. I’ve learned that conviction without consequence is just branding.

I’ve also learned that hidden agendas aren’t a flaw in the system. They are the system. Once you see that, you don’t get to unsee it. You either perform along with it, or you accept that things may get quieter around you.

So no—my political views haven’t flipped. But they’ve hardened where they needed to and softened where arrogance used to live. I ask different questions now. I listen longer. I assume less. And I no longer confuse staying out of the noise with staying clean.

Standing this way costs something.

It costs ease. It costs invitations. It costs the comfort of being fully claimed by any side. But it buys something better: the ability to sleep at night without rehearsing excuses. The freedom to say, this is where I stand, even when the room shifts uncomfortably.

It may not fit neatly on a ballot.

But it’s honest. And at this stage of my life, honesty matters more than alignment.

Daily writing prompt

How have your political views changed over time?

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Held Between Breaths

2025/12/28Posted in FictionTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Madness Made Visible, Weekend Writing Prompt, writingLeave a comment

WWP – 448

Water presses her face to the glass, a cold idea insisting. She remembers drowning isn’t death but pause. Fingers red with polish anchor her. The notion arrives quietly: breathe now, surface later, survive the story that wants you silent, tonight, alone, watching.

Still Working

2025/12/20Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2158, life, love, mental health, The Daily's, writing7 Comments

I haven’t posted here in a while. Not because I ran out of things to say. Not because the work stopped. I just wasn’t standing at the microphone.

The last couple of months were spent doing the unglamorous things I should have done much earlier—working on the admin side of the site. Fixing broken links. Noticing design holes. Wrestling with UI and UX issues that don’t announce themselves until they’ve already annoyed someone. It’s the kind of work no one sees unless it’s missing. MoM will probably never be perfect, and that’s fine. It doesn’t have to be. It just has to function. It has to breathe.

During that time, I was also drawing—freehand, unplugged, no project waiting on the other end. I forgot how much goes into making something visual. How close it is to writing. How every line, finished or abandoned, belongs to a world that didn’t exist until you put your hand to paper. That realization landed hard because it reminded me of something simple: creation isn’t output. It’s participation.

And yes—that shit is fun.
But not in the way people usually mean.

Nothing about what I’ve been doing fits neatly into the idea of fun. There’s no leisure glow to fixing broken infrastructure or reworking something for the third time because it still doesn’t sit right. I grew up believing you work first and earn play later. That belief wasn’t wrong. It kept the lights on. It built discipline. It mattered.

What I learned later—much later—is that sometimes you have to loosen the grip to get real work done. Sometimes cutting up a bit isn’t a distraction; it’s how momentum returns. Play, when it works, isn’t escape. It’s engagement without judgment. It’s moving within the work instead of standing over it, asking if it’s good enough yet.

My girls taught me that. I remember wiping water from my face, surrounded by water balloons and modified water guns. No strategy. No efficiency. Just laughter and chaos and the immediate reality of being there. The shit was real—real fun. And somewhere in that mess was the lesson: not everything that matters announces itself as productivity.

Writing here started to carry weight. Expectations—mine more than anyone else’s. Analytics whispering. The quiet hum of Is this good? Will they get it? I wanted to be a writer so bad. I wanted people to take me seriously. I needed my work to mean something.

The funny thing is, I was already a writer. People do take me seriously. And I’ve written meaningful things. Right? The platypus story. The one about the kid with the long tongue. Those didn’t come from force or strategy. They came from showing up and letting the work breathe.

Drawing doesn’t carry that baggage. No audience. No scoreboard. No version of my name clearing its throat in the corner. Just contact. Just presence. But it does give me a sense of contentment—of peace. That charge that comes when an idea starts to take shape. Especially when it was nothing more than a passing thought you managed to grab before it slipped past you for good.

Some ideas are like that stranger across the room who catches your attention. You hesitate. You circle the moment. You try to summon the courage to speak, knowing you might never get another chance—until finally, you go for broke.

At the same time, I spent more time reading—really paying attention to what others are doing. Old friends still sharp. New voices doing interesting, thoughtful work. That matters. It pulls your head out of its own echo chamber. It reminds you that the work isn’t a closed loop.

The evolution of Quote of the Day taught me something I didn’t fully understand at the time. It started small, almost casually, and over time became the most stable and consistent thing I do here. Not because it was optimized. Because it was allowed to deepen. I no longer believe posting every day is proof of commitment. I’d rather create something real than post just to stay visible.

So this isn’t a return announcement. It’s not an explanation. It’s just evidence that the work didn’t stop—it shifted. Maintenance counts. Attention counts. Learning counts. Silence doesn’t always mean absence.

No promises.
No schedule carved into stone.
Just honest work, moving again, because it never really left.

Daily writing prompt

What was the last thing you did for play or fun?

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Where the Ancestors Breathe Through Her

2025/12/10Posted in ProseTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Madness Made Visible, Prose, writing7 Comments

She lifts her arm like she’s remembering something older than breath—an inheritance carried not in blood, but in rhythm. The world behind her blurs into strokes of salt and shadow, yet she stands carved from something steadier: a woman made of lineage, of stories whispered through blue smoke and braided into the folds of her headwrap.

Her eyes are closed, but nothing about her is blind. She’s listening—maybe to the low tide of an ancestor’s voice, maybe to the soft insistence of her own pulse. The light catches her cheek like a blessing she didn’t ask for but accepts anyway.

And there’s that slight tilt of her mouth—neither smile nor sorrow, just the calm of someone who has survived enough to know the difference between surrender and liberation.

This is not a pose.

It’s a reckoning.
A quiet claiming of space.
A woman mid-stride in a prayer only she understands, and yet somehow, it feels like she speaks for all of us.

Signal Through the Static

2025/12/09Posted in The Daily'sTagged Cartoons, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2147, The Daily's, writing4 Comments

I was never a cartoon kid. The bright colors, the slapstick chaos, the noise—they all felt like they were shouting past me. But every now and then, something stranger slipped through the broadcast. Clutch Cargo. Space Angel. The 70s Spider-Man reruns with animation so stiff it felt like everyone was holding their breath.

Most folks remember those shows for the uncanny mouths or the budget that barely covered a pot of coffee. I remember the stories.

Even as a kid, that’s what hooked me. It wasn’t the art; it was the pulse beneath it. A pilot lost in deep space. A hero swinging across a city that looked more empty than alive. A mystery to unravel before the next commercial break. Those shows were weird—no denying that—but weird wasn’t a flaw. Weird was an invitation.

While other kids waited for punchlines, I waited for stakes. I wanted to know what the trouble was, what hidden door we were about to open, what secret someone was trying to bury. The stories were simple, but they had weight. They made you pay attention. They carried that quiet tension you only feel when something matters, even if you can’t explain why.

Looking back, I think that’s what stayed with me. Not the animation. Not the nostalgia. The stories. They were the first lesson in how narrative works when you strip away spectacle: character, pressure, consequence. The essentials.

Maybe that’s why they stuck.
Maybe that’s why I still chase that same feeling when I sit down to write—just a strange transmission cutting through the static, reminding me that the story is the thing that survives.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite cartoon?

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The Discipline of a Quiet Man

2025/12/09Posted in The Daily'sTagged Basketball, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2054, Kareem Abdul-Jabber, sports, The Daily's, writingLeave a comment

There are words we use carelessly, scattering them across people who haven’t earned them. Honor is not one of them. Honor is not a word; it’s a state of being. Many treat it as a relic from old books, a concept preserved in ink but forgotten in practice. We remember its definition, but not its discipline. Honor belongs to lives that can bear its weight—those whose choices reveal intent rather than performance, discipline rather than spectacle, substance rather than noise. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is one of the rare men whose life, lived deliberately and consistently, justifies the use of that word.

Long before trophies or records, before the skyhook carved its arc into basketball history, Kareem learned what it meant to walk a disciplined path. In Black Cop’s Kid, he writes about his father, a Black New York City police officer navigating a segregated America. His father moved through streets that demanded vigilance, wisdom, and restraint—a man required to inhabit two worlds that seldom acknowledged the full weight of his humanity. That quiet duality shaped Kareem’s earliest understanding of strength. His father did not preach lessons; he embodied them. The discipline in that household was not loud or performative. It was patient. Intentional. A way of carrying oneself when no one is watching. It was here that Kareem first learned that the inner life must be steadier than the world pressing against it.

As Kareem stepped into the national spotlight, that lesson met its first genuine test. His presence alone carried expectations that were not of his choosing. Every gesture, every silence, every interview became a canvas for projection. America demanded a familiar performance from its Black athletes—gratitude without question, humility without edge, excellence without voice. Kareem refused the performance. His reserve was mistaken for distance; his intellect, for defiance. Yet what much called aloofness was simply the discipline he had been raised with: the separation of worlds, protecting the private self, the refusal to let public hunger consume what must remain internal. Strength, for him, was never volume. It was alignment. And maintaining that alignment in the face of scrutiny became its own form of endurance.

This alignment is what he carried into the moment that would sharpen his moral identity. In Black Cop’s Kid, Kareem describes being invited, at just twenty years old, to join a gathering now known as the Cleveland Summit. Jim Brown called him to sit alongside Bill Russell, Carl Stokes, Muhammad Ali, and other Black leaders—a room full of men who bore their own histories of struggle and conviction. They met to confront Ali’s refusal to be drafted into the Vietnam War. Some had served in uniform; others had walked the front lines of civil rights battles. The air in that room was a crucible, not a ceremony. Kareem entered as the youngest voice present, carrying the discipline of his father but stepping into a conversation that demanded clarity far beyond his years.

For hours, the group questioned Ali. They challenged his reasoning, his faith, his willingness to accept consequences. Ali argued that the war was being fought by people of color against people of color, for a nation that denied them basic civil rights. His refusal was rooted in religious conviction and moral clarity, not political theatrics. As Kareem recounts it, the debate grew heated—sharp questions, sharper answers, the weight of identity and duty pressing into every sentence. What emerged was not a portrait of a defiant champion but of a man prepared to sacrifice everything rather than betray his principles.

Bill Russell summarized what a good deal of felt but would not say aloud: he envied Ali’s “absolute and sincere faith.” Envy—not of fame or power, but of conviction. Kareem saw it plainly: even giants grappled with doubt. Even legends feared whether they could withstand the cost of conscience. In that moment, Kareem recognized a truth his father had lived without speaking—integrity is measured by what a person refuses to surrender. By the end of the Summit, they stood with Ali. Kareem left not with a slogan but with a direction. As he wrote, he felt he was finally doing something important rather than merely watching the world from its edges. His father’s quiet discipline had found its test, and it held.

That commitment of intent over performance would define the decades that followed. Kareem did not chase the spotlight. He did not soften his seriousness to become more palatable. His writing, activism, and public presence reflect a consistent refusal to be shaped by expectation. In a culture that rewards noise, he chose depth. In an era that prized spectacle, he chose substance. His reserve was not distance—it was stewardship of the inner life his father taught him to protect.

This same ethos threads through his work beyond basketball. In Brothers in Arms, his tribute to the 761st Tank Battalion of Black soldiers in World War II, he writes of men whose greatest acts were known only in fragments. Many lived entire lives without revealing what they had endured. Their silence was not secrecy—it was dignity. Kareem writes about them with reverence, humility, and a recognition that some forms of service cannot be measured by praise. In many ways, his own life echoes theirs: principled choices, quiet strength, a preference for action over advertisement. Deeds, not words, as the old motto says.

Across time, the pattern of his life remains coherent. The public, private, and secret selves that his father taught him to guard align under a single discipline: to move with intent, even when misunderstood. The same steadiness that kept his father upright on hostile streets steadied Kareem through shifting eras, hostile headlines, and the long shadow of fame. His reserve is no longer misread when viewed through this lens. It becomes what it always was: a disciplined way of walking through a world eager to consume more than it has earned.

Most athletes earn admiration. Very few earn Honor. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar does, not because he was flawless or universally embraced, but because he lived with deliberate intent when it would have been easier to drift, and with discipline when it would have been easier to perform. Honor is not a word; it is a state of being. And if we are to use that word with any seriousness, we should reserve it for lives capable of carrying its weight. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar’s life is one of them.

Daily writing prompt

Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.

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What Bloomed After the Darkness Surrendered

2025/12/08Posted in Dispatches from the Splinters of My MindTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Dispatches, fantasy, Fiction, short-story, writing4 Comments

Dispatches from the Splinters of my Mind – Entry 12

I didn’t expect to find anyone out here.

This stretch of land was where people came to lose things, not recover them. Ruined garden, dead roses, night thick enough to bruise your lungs. The kind of place you walk through only if something heavier is pushing you from behind.

But she was there—hooded, veiled, blindfolded—kneeling in a field of collapsed petals. Her stillness wasn’t passive. It was deliberate, like someone waiting for a verdict they suspected they wouldn’t survive.

A faint ember glowed at the heart of one dying rose beside her knee. Gold, quiet, defiant. That single bloom didn’t belong here any more than I did.

She didn’t turn when I approached. Didn’t flinch. Didn’t reach for a blade.
The air around her was the kind people enter only by accident.

“You alone out here?” I asked, though the answer was obvious.

Her head angled toward my voice. “Still deciding.”

“On what?”

“Whether solitude is a wound or a home.”

I stopped a few paces away. Not out of fear—more out of respect. Some people carry storms so dense you don’t step too close unless invited.

“Why the blindfold?” I asked.

“So the world can’t trick me into believing it’s changed.”

I let that sit a moment. The roses whispered in the wind, petals shifting like softened ash.

“You waiting for something?” I asked.

“A sign,” she said. “A memory. A reason.”
A pause.
“Maybe an ending.”

Her fingers sank into the roses, searching for something beneath them. Not clutching. Feeling. Testing the borders of whatever she still believed in.

“You think endings come find you?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “But grief does. And it never knocks first.”

I moved closer, lowering myself into a crouch. Up close, the blindfold looked like something she tied herself—not a binding, but a boundary. A way of saying: I see enough without seeing anything at all.

Her breathing was slow but not steady. The kind of rhythm people get when they’re fighting tears without wanting to admit it.

“You come out here to die?” I asked.

“To choose,” she said.

“What’s the choice?”

She lifted the faintly glowing rose, its ember casting a soft outline across the cloth over her eyes.

“Whether to see things as they are,” she said, “or as I feel them.”

I reached instinctively toward the blindfold. Not forceful. Just curious. But her hand rose and pressed gently against my wrist.

“Don’t.”

Her voice wasn’t sharp. It wasn’t even afraid.
It was… resolved, in a tremor-laced way only people who’ve hurt enough to recognize the shape of their own boundaries can manage.

“You don’t want to see the world around you?” I asked.

“I already do,” she said softly. “Just not with my eyes.”

I lowered my hand. “Most people would call that denial.”

“Most people,” she said, “confuse vision with understanding.”

She tilted her face toward the faint warmth of the rose. “When I look at things, I start filling in the story. Adding meanings that aren’t there. Projecting old wounds onto new shadows. I see too much. And none of it’s true.”

Her fingers trembled once, barely noticeable.

“With this on,” she continued, touching the blindfold, “I feel the world instead of interpreting it. I hear it. I sense it. I don’t get lost in what I think things are.”

I let her words settle. She wasn’t fragile. She wasn’t defeated.
She was… calibrating. Choosing her method of survival.

“There’s a path east,” I said. “Ruined, but navigable.”

“I know,” she whispered. “I stood at the fork earlier.”

“And?”

“And I couldn’t choose.”

“Because you couldn’t see it?”

“No,” she said. “Because I could.”

The ember pulsed in the rose like a small, stubborn heartbeat.

“When you’ve been hurt often enough,” she said, “every familiar road feels like a trap. Every new road feels like a lie. You stand there waiting for some sign—some clarity—to tell you where to go. You wait so long the waiting becomes its own kind of grave.”

“And the blindfold?”

“It’s not to hide,” she said. “It’s to quiet the noise.”

Her face—what I could see of it beneath the veil—softened.
“I don’t want to see the world tonight,” she said. “I want to feel what’s left of me inside it.”

I understood that in a way I wished I didn’t.

“You’re not lost,” I told her.

“No,” she said. “I’m unlearning the version of myself that got me killed the first time.”

Wind swept through the roses, their petals rattling like brittle memories. The ember in her hand brightened, painting the lower half of her face in gold.

I offered my hand—not to lift the blindfold, not to drag her toward sight, but because no one should sit in a field of dead flowers alone.

She didn’t take it at first. Her fingers hovered millimeters from mine, trembling like she wasn’t sure whether to trust the impulse.

“You don’t need your eyes for this,” I said quietly. “Just the part of you that knows exactly what you want and is terrified to admit it.”

“And what do you think that is?” she whispered.

“To stop standing at the fork.”

Her breath hitched. Not loudly. Just enough to notice if you were close.

“The path east…” she said. “It felt like the one I should have chosen before everything went wrong.”

“Then why didn’t you?” I asked.

“Because someone convinced me I wasn’t the kind of person who deserved to walk it.”

Her hand finally—finally—closed around mine. Cold fingers warming slowly in the cradle of my palm.

“I can’t see it,” she said.

“You don’t need to.”

“How do you know?”

“Because sight’s never been the problem,” I said. “Belief has.”

She swallowed hard. There were tears beneath the blindfold; I could hear the thickness in her breathing.

“Lead me,” she said, steady even through the shake.
“Down the path I should have chosen. Not the one I kept returning to out of fear.”

I rose, pulling her gently with me. Her footing was careful but sure, her other hand cupped around the glowing rose so its small ember wouldn’t die.

“You realize,” I said, “leaving the blindfold on means you won’t see what’s ahead.”

“I don’t want to,” she replied. “If I see it, I’ll try to predict it. Control it. Ruin it before it begins.”
A breath.
“Let me walk without knowing.”

I nodded, though she couldn’t see it.
Some people need eyes. Some need maps.
She needed silence—her own, for once, not the world’s.

We stepped through the dead roses. Their petals brushed her legs like faint apologies.

“Tell me something,” she said softly.

“What?”

“Does the night look as heavy as it feels?”

“Worse,” I admitted.

She smiled faintly. “Good. I’d hate to be the only one carrying weight.”

Another few steps. Her grip tightened when the ground shifted, then eased again.

“You’re not afraid,” I said.

“No,” she replied. “I’m aware. Fear is when you run from things. Awareness is when you walk toward them knowing they might break you.”

“And you think this path will break you?”

“Everything breaks me,” she said. “That’s not new. The question is whether it teaches me something afterward.”

“And what do you want it to teach you?”

“That surrender isn’t defeat,” she said. “Just a kind of honesty.”

We walked farther. The night didn’t lighten, but something inside her did—a straightening of the spine, a deepening of breath, a quiet resolve she must have forgotten she owned.

She stopped suddenly.

“What is it?” I asked.

She held the glowing rose out toward the dark.

“When hope survives in a place like this,” she said, “it isn’t a promise. It’s a warning.”

“Of what?”

“That the world isn’t done with me yet.”

She lowered the rose to her chest.
The ember brightened once—brave or foolish—and then stilled, warm against her heart.

“Tell me,” she whispered. “Are we still walking east?”

“Yes.”

“Good.”

She tightened her grip around my hand, the blindfold still firm across her eyes.

“Then don’t let me stop,” she said. “Not even when I want to.”

We stepped forward together, and the night shifted around us—not lighter, not kinder, just… open.

Behind us, the dead roses rustled in the dark.
Ahead, the path waited without expectation.

And she—blindfolded, trembling, resolute—walked toward it not because she saw it
but because she finally understood
what bloomed after the darkness surrendered was not the world.
It was her.

Instincts, Echoes, and the Work of Coming Back

2025/12/08Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2127, life, love, mental health, mindfulness, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

Of course I trust my instincts. These instincts are the reason I’m still here. They’re the early warning system that kicked in long before I had the language to explain what was happening. They’ve pulled me out of bad situations, terrible decisions, and moments where everything felt razor-thin. Survival sharpens you in ways calm living never will. Yet there are times you wonder if what you’re feeling is actually what’s happening. As someone living with PTSD, even after years of progress, the episodes don’t disappear—they just get quieter, less commanding, but still capable of blindsiding you when life hits at the wrong angle.

That’s the strange part: instincts are made of scar tissue and memory, not magic. They’re a patchwork of everything you’ve lived through—every mistake, every close call, every moment you had to react before you had time to think. And when your past includes trauma, those instincts can carry echoes of things you already survived. Sometimes they show up as alarms, even when there’s no fire in the room. It’s difficult to explain this to people. Not because they don’t care or don’t try, but because they don’t have a point of reference. If someone’s never had their body react to a memory like it’s happening in real time, or never had their nervous system jump to high alert over a sound everyone else barely notices, there’s only so much they can understand.

It’s not their fault. It’s simply the gap between lived experience and good intentions. But sometimes that gap feels like its own form of isolation. You end up minimizing what you feel or staying quiet because explaining it feels like trying to describe color to someone who’s only ever seen in grayscale. Eventually the question becomes: Why bother? And that silence can be its own kind of weight.

Even so, with the right support and coping tools, you really can relearn how to trust—not just your instincts, but yourself. Healing isn’t about shutting off the alarms; it’s about recalibrating them so they stop drowning out everything else. You learn to tell the difference between a real signal and old static. You learn how to talk yourself down without dismissing what your body is trying to say. You realize you’re not fighting your nervous system—you’re retraining it. Support and coping skills create space between the present moment and the past, and that’s the space where self-trust has room to grow.

But healing isn’t linear. There are days when every tool you’ve learned goes out the window. Days when your instincts feel unreliable, when your body reacts before your brain catches up, when everything hits at once and you’re back in old patterns without warning. Those days can make progress feel imaginary. But they aren’t the whole story. Because the very fact that you can name what’s happening now—the fact that you can reach for help, reach for tools, reach for clarity—means you’re not where you used to be.

Trust isn’t a single leap. It’s a series of small choices where you refuse to abandon yourself. Over time, instinct and self-trust start to merge again, the way they were always meant to. You move from surviving to navigating, and eventually, to living with a steadiness that’s earned, not imagined.

It’s not perfect. But it’s real. And real is enough.

Do you trust your instincts?

The Line Between Us and the Wild Is Paper-Thin

2025/12/08Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative non-fiction, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2144, Fiction, humor, life, short-story, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

Some days, I feel like the unofficial understudy for Marlon Perkins from Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom—minus the khaki shorts and the camera crew. No judgement here, khaki’s are so comfortable. Wildlife keeps showing up in my life like it’s angling for a recurring role.

A few years back, it was Louie and Smiley—two raccoons who treated my house like a spiritual retreat with free snacks. I returned from visiting my folks to find Louie perched in my office chair reading the Douay-Rheims Bible with the focus of a man reconsidering his sins. Smiley wandered out of the kitchen with a loaf of bread and a pack of cheese like he was prepping for a midnight sermon.

“I found the mother lode!” he said.

“Shut up, Smiley,” Louie muttered—then saw me.
“Louie! He’s back! He’s back!”

Panic. Scramble. Silence.
I expected the Bible to be covered in raccoon glyphs, but it was clean. The kitchen was another story entirely. The kitchen looked like a flour bomb had gone off. And the little bastards were munching on my Cheez-its. Looking back I can’t blame them because Cheez-It’s are righteous. And it’s been over a year since I’ve seen either of them. Strange to admit, but I miss those idiots. You don’t realize how lonely you’ve gotten until you start missing thieves with tails.

These days, everything seems to drift toward “normal”—if that word still means anything. Maybe it’s really just slipping back into the routine that makes sense to you, even if it looks ridiculous to anyone else. My routine involves trying (and failing) to quit smoking while watching the neighborhood wildlife walk around like they pay rent.

Groundhogs strolling like retirees.
Squirrels hustling like Wall Street interns.
Feral cats acting like landlords.

They don’t hide; they don’t wait for the coast to clear. They move like the world belongs to them.

Some mornings, the line between wild and human feels paper-thin.

Lately I’ve been paying attention in a way I never used to—maybe that’s why the animals have gotten bolder.

Because then came the possums.

A pair waddled down my sidewalk one evening, paused, and stared at me like I was the one intruding. As if they were wondering if I was going to hurt them or let them be. I supposed they had decided because one of them lifted a tiny paw and waved.

Then she stood up and said,
“Mangus, don’t act like you don’t see us! Ralph, would you look at this—humans can be so rude.”

Ralph gave the possum equivalent of a shrug.

I figured that was strange enough for the week, but winter has a way of dragging even stranger things to your doorstep.

There’s something about a cold morning—the chill bites you like you walked into the wrong yard. A reminder of the no-no’s of life.

A few mornings later, frost was clinging to everything like regret. I stepped out with a cigarette—a filthy habit, so I’m told. But I’ve lived long enough to see people celebrate worse sins, so I take the judgment with a grain of salt.

That’s when I saw him.

A raccoon was sitting on my stoop, smoking one of my cigarettes, staring into the frost as if it had whispered a prophecy. He jumped when he finally noticed me. His eyes went wide, then settled. If I meant him harm, I’d have done it already.

I lit my own cigarette.
You hear the snow crunching beneath someone’s footsteps. I turned.

“Don’t worry,” the raccoon said without looking back. “That’s just Smoke wondering if you put anything out to eat. You’ve been slipping on that, by the way.”

Smoke—another raccoon—raised a paw in greeting, then kept moving toward the trash can like we were roommates who barely tolerated each other.

I took my first drag.
Ah, the sweet relief of the little lies we tell ourselves.
“Best thing ever.”
Not really—but the small fibs get us through the day.

Cold mornings always pry open old memories. Suddenly, I was thinking about a chocolate cake—dangerously good-looking, baked by someone capable of getting a diabetic canonized or killed. I told myself I’d be a “good diabetic” that day. Truth was, it simply wasn’t the weekend.

I’m not diabetic on the weekends.
A doctor once told me that’s not how it works.
My response: “Watch me, partner.”
Gave him my patented fuck off look. He didn’t know that expression at the time, but he learned fast.

Later, a young woman offering the cake stood beside me—closer than she needed to be. She smelled nice. Held out a plate.

“Yes, you have diabetes,” she whispered. “But you still have to live.”

Best cake ever.

Back on the stoop, the raccoon finally spoke.

“I’m Stu. Stuart Bigelow. That’s what a little girl across town used to call me. Cancer took her. Cancer’s an evil SOB—it comes for us all.”

“I’m Mangus,” I said. “And I have one question.”

“What’s that?”

“Who in the hell told you you could smoke my cigarettes?”

Stu coughed mid-drag, a little smoke curling out like he was half-laughing.
“Well, I figured since you left them outside, it was a party pack.”

Stu’s whiskers twitched after each exhale as if the smoke was burning his nose.

I snorted, then coughed, then burst into laughter.
“So not a party pack, Stu.”

Some mornings, the wild doesn’t feel wild at all.

Daily writing prompt

Do you ever see wild animals?

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Skills from a Graduate of the School of Hard Knocks

2025/12/04Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2142, life, love, mental health, The Daily's, writer's life, writers on writing, writing4 Comments

If I’m being honest, the things I’m good at didn’t come from any classroom with fluorescent lights and tidy rows. They came from life pulling me aside, usually at the worst possible moment, and saying, “Pay attention—this part matters.” Most of what I know was earned the long way: scraped knuckles, late nights, and a few seasons where survival wasn’t guaranteed but somehow still happened. These skills didn’t unfold gently. They arrived as consequences, as revelations, as the quiet clarity that follows a storm.

One thing I’ve learned is that I’m better at creating a feeling than I am at delivering a finished product. I don’t sit down to produce anything polished or algorithm-friendly. I write to capture a moment’s temperature—the hush before a confession, the weight of a truth someone’s been carrying too long, the strange peace that settles in when you finally stop pretending everything is fine. I follow the line that tightens my chest because that’s where the real story is hiding. Atmosphere isn’t decoration; it’s the closest thing I have to honesty. And if someone walks into that space and feels seen, then the work did what it was supposed to.

I’ve also learned how to make complicated emotions legible—not tidy, not simple, but real. The heavy stuff never hands you clean language. Grief has its own dialect. Shame speaks in whispers. Loneliness shows up wearing someone else’s coat. Most people run from these things because they think naming them will make them bigger. But I sit with them long enough to understand their shape. Not because I’m brave—because I don’t know how else to move through the world. If I can translate that heaviness into a line that makes someone pause and think, “Yeah… me too,” then maybe the weight becomes shareable.

Another skill I’ve picked up is the ability to hold a ridiculous number of moving parts without letting the whole structure collapse. MKU. MoM. HoT. Fiction arcs. Art projects. QOTD. Image collections. The universe I’m building is messy, sprawling, and sometimes bigger than I intended. But even in the chaos, there’s a thread running through it—something emotional, instinctive, connective. I don’t always know where the thread is leading, but I know when I’ve lost it. And I know how to find my way back by listening to what the work is trying to become. People mistake this for multitasking; it’s really just surviving the storm with both hands open.

I’ve stopped worshipping the first draft. If a piece doesn’t feel right, I tear it apart, not out of self-doubt but out of loyalty—to the truth, to the reader, to the version of myself that refuses to settle for the easy version of anything. Revision is where the honesty happens. It’s where the mask slips. It’s where I notice the lines I wrote to protect myself instead of reveal something. I’ve rebuilt myself enough times to know that tearing something down is just another form of creation.

And finally, I adapt. Quickly. Quietly. Often without applause or acknowledgment. Life didn’t give me the privilege of staying the same for long. Every year demanded a new version of me—some built by choice, others by necessity. Adaptation isn’t a talent; it’s a scar that learned how to walk. When something breaks, I adjust. When something shifts beneath my feet, I move. Reinvention stopped feeling dramatic years ago; now it’s just how I breathe.

These are the skills I’ve gathered on my way through the wreckage. Not glamorous. Not marketable. But real. They weren’t taught—they were carved. And maybe that’s the mark of a true education in the school of hard knocks: you don’t graduate with honors. You graduate with perspective. With endurance. With stories you didn’t ask for but somehow needed.

And when someone asks what you’re good at, you finally have the language to answer—not with pride, but with truth.

Chilled to the Bone and Shadow

2025/12/03Posted in TunageTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians, Grooving With Glyn, House of Tunage, Mixed Music Bag, music, reviews, Tunage, writing4 Comments

Groovin’ with Glyn: Week 1

Air of December by Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians

December is a month of conflicting mindsets. On one hand, people get swept up in the season and start doing “Good Things,” as if generosity is something they dust off once a year like ornaments from the attic. Smiles get bigger. Voices get lighter. Folks try to be kinder, cleaner versions of themselves — at least for a few weeks.

But not everyone rises with the cheer.
Some slip the other way — into that deep, cold room December knows how to unlock. The early darkness settles on their shoulders. The empty chairs at the table get louder. They watch the world light up and feel nothing but the distance.

The weather has changed. We felt the shift back in November — a quiet warning — but December carries the truth in its bones. The calendar hints at winter, but nature tells you outright. Woodchucks waddle with purpose, grabbing whatever scraps they need to seal themselves away. Raccoons run their winter reconnaissance, scouting warm corners with criminal determination.

Across the street, after sundown, the trees start speaking. Leaves rustle in patterns the wind doesn’t claim. Then: silence. Then another rustle — heavier this time — followed by a shadow shifting where it shouldn’t. And there it is:
a raccoon the size of a small planet climbing like gravity signed a waiver. Somehow that bandit-faced acrobat is perched on the roof of a three-story house, staring down like it owns the deed.

Meanwhile, Christmas trees bloom behind neighborhood windows — soft glows behind glass, promises of borrowed joy. For the next thirty days, people will act like saints in training, as if kindness has a seasonal password and only December knows it. Christmas carols creep through grocery aisles. Decorations multiply like mushrooms.

This is precisely why you need a strong music collection.
Survival gear.
Armor.

Because there are only so many versions of “Jingle Bells,” “White Christmas,” “Deck the Halls,” and “Frosty the Snowman” a person can take before something in them snaps.
Though Frosty and Rudolph do have their… alternative interpretations — the ones no one plays around polite company. Those versions? Those have some soul to them.

The lights are up on half the streets by now — fake pine needles, borrowed glow, holiday cheer on rotation. But behind windows, in alleys, in empty rooms and quiet corners, the air tastes different. Thinner. Sharper. More honest.

That’s when I slip on “Air of December.”
Soft bass. Careful voice. Shadows tucked into the chords.
This song doesn’t promise warmth, and it sure as hell doesn’t ask you to smile.
It just says: pay attention.

Edie Brickell & New Bohemians were never a mainstream machine. They had one catchy breakout moment, and most people froze them in that era like a photograph in a drawer. Air of December is one of those tracks even longtime fans forget exists. It’s not whispered in corners or held up as a hidden classic. But for the ones who hear it — really hear it — there’s a quiet respect. A recognition of its weight. Its weather. Its staying power.

The song opens like a door easing into colder air — a small shift in pressure you feel more than hear. The guitar stays clean but unsweet; the bass hums low like a steady engine under the floorboards; the drums hold back, giving the track room to breathe. The band understands restraint — they don’t fill the silence; they let the silence carry meaning. There’s distance in the mix as well, not loneliness but space, like the walls of the room are set a little farther apart than usual. It gives the whole track that “cold air in the next room” feeling — a quiet tension humming beneath the melody.

Brickell’s voice moves with deliberate softness.
She doesn’t chase the melody — she circles it.
As if she is dancing alongside it, doing her best not to disturb the melody, but to belong to it.
It’s intimate without being fragile or overbearing — confessional without wandering into theatrics. It respects the moment, and we appreciate that without even realizing we do.
This is the “close-but-not-too-close” mic technique: you feel near her, but not pulled into her chest. You’re listening in, not being performed to.

Her lyrics drift like breath on cold glass — shapes that form, fade, and return slightly altered.
Brickell doesn’t write scenes; she writes impressions.
Smudges.
Moments that land in your body long before your mind explains them.
That’s December — not revelations, just quiet truths catching you in the corner of your eye.

There’s also the emotional sleight of hand: a major-key framework phrased with minor-key honesty. Hopeful chords, weary inflections. Warm instrumentation, cool delivery. A contradiction — just like the month. This isn’t a heartbreak song or a holiday anthem. It’s a temperature. A walking pace. The sound of someone thinking as the sun drops at 4:30 PM.

Some songs become seasonal without meaning to — not because they mention snow or nostalgia, but because they inhabit the emotional weather perfectly.
This one does.

It sounds like a room after the noise has died down and the truth hasn’t found its words yet.
It sounds like someone sitting beside you, matching your breathing.
It sounds like December without the costume.

Most December songs want to wrap you in tinsel and memory.
This one just sits beside you.
Doesn’t judge.
Doesn’t push.
Just listens.

People claim they want authenticity in December — honesty, depth, meaning.
They don’t.
They want distraction wrapped in nostalgia.
They want songs about snow so they don’t have to face the winter inside themselves.

“Air of December” refuses that bargain.
It listens — and listening is dangerous this month.

Give someone a quiet December track and half of them will panic.
They’ll change it before the first truth lands.
Stillness has a way of turning the room into a mirror.

Most December listeners don’t want the real temperature.
They want the thermostat set to everything’s fine.
But winter doesn’t trade in lies.
And neither does this track.

Yet there’s a strange comfort in that kind of honesty.
The song doesn’t shield you from the cold — it invites you into it.
It says, look around, breathe, the truths you’ve been dodging all year are rising — and you’re strong enough now to meet them.

December strips everything down to bone and breath.
This track reminds you that what remains is still yours.

The Boy Who Wasn’t Afraid of the Dark

2025/12/02Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2140, life, love, mental health, poetry, The Daily's, writing3 Comments

There’s something about the night I’ve never managed to explain without feeling like I’m circling the real truth instead of touching it. It isn’t just the absence of light. It’s the way the world exhales after midnight, how everything settles into a version of itself that feels more honest. If you’re a night person, you already know what I mean—you don’t need me to draw a map to that place.

As a kid, I treated the night like a sanctuary no one else had discovered. The dark didn’t judge, didn’t demand, didn’t tap its foot waiting for me to prove something. I used to get sad when the Dawn arrived—not out of melodrama, but because daybreak felt like someone flipping on the fluorescent lights, telling me to sit up straight and get back in line. Dawn was order. Dawn was expectation. Dawn was the world reminding me I owed it something.

Night never asked for payment.
It just handed me the keys and stepped aside.

I really believed there were no rules after sunset. In the dark, the harsh edges of the day softened. The noise thinned out. My thoughts stopped running defense and finally came out from hiding. The boy I was didn’t have the language for it, but he understood the feeling: Night made room for him in a way life rarely did.

Looking back, I can see how much of that was escape. The night gave me cover—space to imagine, space to feel, space to acknowledge things I wasn’t ready to say out loud. But escape isn’t always cowardice. Sometimes it’s survival. Sometimes it’s the only way a kid can breathe.

And even now—older, carrying more history than I ever expected to survive—I still feel that tug when the sky lightens. There’s a part of me that mourns the end of the hours where I don’t have to pretend to be anything. A part that whispers, Hold on… not yet.
That boy is still in there. He still trusts the dark more than the dawn.

But here’s the thing I keep circling back to: the night didn’t make me free. It made me honest. There’s a difference. The dark gave me room to face myself without all the day’s noise confusing the signal. It let me consider who I was becoming, who I wasn’t, who I might still be if I stopped running long enough to look in the mirror.

And some nights—when the world goes quiet and the air feels like it’s holding its breath—that honesty still slips through. It reminds me why I loved the dark in the first place: not because it hid me, but because it revealed the parts of me I didn’t yet know how to live with in the light.

The Hardest Decision Was Saying Yes to Myself

2025/11/28Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2136, life, love, mental health, The Daily's, writing17 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

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The hardest decision I’ve made recently wasn’t life-or-death. It was deciding to release my work—actually release it. Not hide it in drafts. Not polish it into oblivion. Not drop something small into the void and pretend I didn’t care about the silence afterward. The real battle wasn’t skill or imagination. It was belief—my own.

And I had reason to hesitate. I’d put work out before, here and there. A story, an image, a thought I didn’t mind people ignoring. And they did. The response was minimal or nonexistent, and that kind of quiet gets inside your head. It feeds every story you whisper to yourself at three in the morning: Why do I bother? What does it take to keep going? No one’s reading me anyway. Silence is its own kind of confirmation bias. It tells you you’re forgettable long before you ever get a chance to be known.

Then 2024 hit, and everything went sideways. I was terribly ill—bent, shaken, barely holding myself upright some days. But the blog? Strange as it sounds, it became the one place that felt sane. Real. Safe. My body was chaos, but the work gave my mind somewhere to breathe. I didn’t write because I was inspired. I wrote because it was the only steady ground I had left to stand on.

2025 rolled in with its own question mark hanging over my head. I’d survived—but now what? Who the hell was I supposed to be after everything? No grand gestures; those are just New Year’s resolutions dressed up in fancier language. We make them because we mean well, but half the time we don’t say them out loud. Not because they’re secret—shhh, G-14 classified—but because if we fail, at least the failure stays private. No ridicule. No audience.

Still, I was creating. Since 2023, I’d been grinding like a madman, pushing out content as if volume alone could outrun doubt. But earlier this year, something shifted. I slowed down. I started choosing quality over quantity. Fewer posts, deeper ones. Work that actually had weight. And the analytics—when they finally came—didn’t just pat me on the back. They confirmed it. Memoirs of Madness has had its best year ever. I’m proud of the work, sure. But what hits harder are the unexpected relationships that have come out of this place. That’s the real measure of success. Connection. Not clicks.

Only after all that did I look back at why I never trusted the praise from friends and family. It wasn’t that I doubted their honesty. It’s just that love carries a bias. It’s like being the most beautiful woman in four counties. Everyone knows it, everyone agrees. She leaves home expecting doors to swing open—only to find herself in a city where everyone is beautiful and suddenly she’s average. Not any less beautiful, just no longer exceptional by default. Creative praise works the same way. When the only eyes on your work are the ones already in your corner, it’s easy to confuse affection with validation. And easier still to hide behind that confusion.

But the last seven or eight months changed everything. I kept showing up. The work matured. The engagement grew. Strangers—people with no stake in my ego—connected with pieces I almost didn’t release. It wasn’t validation I was chasing. It was proof that the work could stand in bigger rooms. And for the first time, it could.

Releasing my work wasn’t the victory. That was just the surface.

The real decision—the hard one—was finally trusting that it belonged in the world.
Once I chose that, the rest started falling into place.

A Different Kind of Work

2025/11/25Posted in ProseTagged creative writing, daily exercise, writing1 Comment

I’m stepping back from posting new pieces for the rest of the month — not because the well is dry, but because the work has shifted.

There’s writing, and then there’s everything that protects the writing — tending the archives, organizing drafts, sketching out what 2026 should feel like, not just look like. And just as important: actually showing up in other people’s spaces. Reading. Responding. Listening the way I ask others to.

I’ve always said I don’t want a crowd — I want a conversation. But conversation takes presence. It doesn’t happen if I only speak.

So this month, I’m still here. Just a little quieter. I’ll be reading your work, catching up on the stories and reflections I’ve missed. I’ll be behind the scenes — editing, planning, strengthening the scaffolding that holds this place up.

I’m realizing that engagement isn’t a side-task — it’s part of the practice. And I intend to carry that into 2026.

Not less writing.
Just writing built on connection — not isolation.

See you in the comments.

— Mangus

The People I Keep Close

2025/11/24Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2132, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

Daily writing prompt

Who are your current most favorite people?

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These days, my favorite people aren’t the loud ones. They aren’t the ones chasing applause, reposting their virtues, or building entire personalities out of whatever trend is paying attention this week. I find myself drawn to the honest ones—the people who speak plainly and stand up straight even when nobody’s watching. The ones whose integrity isn’t a performance but a reflex.

Authenticity gets romanticized a lot, but most folks don’t actually want the real thing. Real authenticity means you’re going to disappoint someone. It means saying the thing that needs to be said instead of the thing that keeps the peace. Integrity has a cost, and everyone nods along right up to the moment the bill shows up.

I’ve learned to pay attention to who stays the same when the stakes rise. Who doesn’t bend their moral spine just to make a situation smoother. Who tells you the truth even when it’s awkward, or heavy, or not what you wanted to hear. Those people are rare, and when you find them, you feel your shoulders drop a little. You breathe easier. The room feels safer.

So yes—my favorite people are the honest ones, the authentic ones, the ones whose integrity isn’t situational. They don’t need a spotlight. They don’t need a crowd. They just show up as themselves, every damn time.

Those are the people worth keeping close.

The Draft 2

2025/11/23Posted in Prose, The Daily'sTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2128, Fiction, short-story, The Daily's, writing3 Comments

Daily writing prompt

If you could meet a historical figure, who would it be and why?

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Chapter 2

The Magnificent Seven, Mangus Style

I’m sitting at the table, drinking coffee, smoking a cigarette, waiting for the liquor distributors to show up. The invoices are spread out like old confessions. Ursula drops into the booth beside me, scooting against the wall, legs propped up on the bench like she’s claiming territory. She looks like she’s been rode hard and put away wet.

“You look like hammered dogshit,” I say.

“Thanks,” she sighs. “It’s a wonder women aren’t fighting in the parking lot for a chance to talk to you.”

I grunt and go back to the receipts. It was a good night. A bunch of weekenders dropped in just because they heard Willie and Ernie were here. Then somehow someone whispered that Josephine Baker might show. It was over after that. Word of mouth is gasoline in a place like this.

We’re in between both worlds—nobody really knows the size of the joint. The place shifts. Expands. Contracts. Accommodates. Like memory. Like guilt.

The door opens, blasting light from the heat tab—too bright, too sharp. Just a silhouette. I shield my eyes.

Bass Reeves walks in.

Not dressed like legend, not like myth—just a man who’s walked through dust and didn’t bother wiping it off. I don’t call him over. He comes anyway. Doesn’t sit. Just stands long enough to confirm he’s real, and not just folklore wearing boots.

He takes the seat across from me—no words exchanged. Doesn’t need any.

The door opens again, except this time, it doesn’t make a sound.

Poe steps through.

He enters like he’s always belonged indoors, even when he hasn’t eaten in days. Coat longer than necessary. Shoes too clean for a man with his kind of imagination. He doesn’t look at us. He looks at the rafters, checking for ravens. Bass nods. Poe nods back, like grief recognizing authority.

Ursula doesn’t greet them. She knows better than to greet ghosts.

I start to say something, but I stop—because someone is standing at the edge of the table.

No one saw her come in.

No coat. No apology. No explanation.

Just there.

Mata Hari.

She’s not posing. Not seductive. Not shimmering. Just still.

Present.

Composed like someone who’s tired of being looked at and never actually seen.

Reeves rises—not out of courtesy, not because she’s a woman—but because someone has entered his perimeter.

Poe stands, too, but slower. Not startled. Just… intrigued. Like he’s been trying to write her for years.

She doesn’t look at either of them.

Her gaze drops to my receipts.

My records.

“You keep records,” she says softly.
“That makes you accountable.”

She doesn’t sit. She doesn’t need to. The room begins adjusting around her—like furniture shifting to make space for gravity.

Before I can recover, the door opens—with noise this time.

Ursula walks back in, not with plates, not with style. But with familiarity.

She leans down and kisses the newcomer on the cheek.

“Hey, Rudy.”

Rudolph Fisher blushes and shrugs like a schoolboy caught passing notes.

I light another cigarette. My hand is not steady.

“Remember my first kiss,” I mutter. “Lime green woman.”

“Lime green chick, huh?” Yuri calls from across the room—thick Russian, thick boots, thicker folklore.

“You eat the worm again?” Roscoe asks. He’s polishing the same glass he’s been polishing since Truman was president.

I shake my head.

The fellas glance at each other—slowly, like the air just changed language.

Oscar breaks the silence.

“It was two worms.”

Everyone nods like that explains everything.

Ursula guides Rudolph to the table. He doesn’t posture. Doesn’t rush. He sits like a man whose pace belongs to him—not to the room.

“Now we’ve got rhythm,” he says, tapping the table twice. The table… agrees.

“You guys hungry?” Ursula asks—already heading to the kitchen before anyone answers.

She won’t cook it—God forbid—but she’ll deliver it. Gifted waitress. Terrible woman for boiling water.

Roscoe and Oscar drift toward the bar, part-time employees who never leave and never clock in. I once told them I’m not paying extra.

They nodded like monks agreeing poverty was noble.

Ursula returns with plates she definitely did not make.

Bass studies his meal like it’s giving testimony.

Poe inhales the steam like he’s trying to decode its loneliness.

Fisher smiles without tasting anything.

Mata Hari watches butter knives like they hold state secrets.

No one speaks.

Not because we’re eating.

Because something is coming.

The door opens a third time.

Not dramatic.

Just right.

Gwendolyn Brooks walks in.

Not like royalty.

Like someone royalty once stood for.

And everyone—Poe, Reeves, Fisher, Yuri, Roscoe, Oscar, Mata Hari—stands.

Not out of politeness.

Out of alignment.

She doesn’t require attention. The room composes itself around her presence.

She does not take the head of the table.

She takes the center.

Because that is where gravity sits.

She sets down her satchel. Folds her napkin.

And without looking up:

“Tell me,” she says,
“why you write.”

No one answers.

Because royalty does not ask questions.

She issues invitations.

And then—

There are eight cups on the table.

And only seven of us sitting.

The eighth cup is warm.

I turn—

And Toni Morrison is already there.

Not having entered.

Not having appeared.

Just present—hands folded, elbows resting, as if she had always been here.

Brooks doesn’t turn to greet her.

She only says:

“You took your time.”

Morrison smiles—small, devastating.

“No,” she says.
“I took my place.”

Then she looks at me.

Not through me.

Into me.

Not asking a question—

Delivering one.

“What promises have you made…
that your writing is afraid to keep?”

No one speaks.

Because that was not a question.

It was a verdict.

And that is where the chapter ends.

That Grown Folk Shit

2025/11/23Posted in TunageTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Jazz, life, love, Melody Gardot, music, music review, Song Lyric Sunday, writing9 Comments

Song Lyric Sunday • Theme: Rivers, Streams, Creeks, Brooks

We got those Sunday Jazz Vibes going. It’s never intentional, but it’s always right. The slow grooves of Grover Washington Jr. set the tone before the coffee even cools. The things that man does with a sax ought to be illegal in a few states.

“East River Drive” rolls in like a slow-moving tide — smooth on the surface, dangerous underneath. It’s one of those tracks that pretends to be background sound until you realize you’ve stopped whatever you were doing just to follow the way he bends a note. That sly confidence, that river-road swagger. The rhythm section lays back like it’s got nowhere to be, while Grover glides above it all, mapping the emotional coastline of a Sunday morning.

A subtle deep groove — the kind that whispers instead of shouts, trusting you’ll lean in.

And somewhere between those warm horn lines and the long exhale of morning, my mind drifted downstream. That’s when the tonal shift hit — jarring in the best possible way.

Sliding from Grover into Melody Gardot is like stepping out of warm light into cool river air. Grover softens the room; Gardot sharpens it. His sax gives you glide. Her voice gives you gravity. With Grover, the river moves. With Gardot, the river speaks.

She pulls you in with that first line:
“Love me like a river does.”

On paper, it’s simple.
In her mouth, it’s a philosophy.

The river isn’t passion.
It’s not urgency.
It’s not the cinematic love-story nonsense we were raised on.

A river flows.
A river returns.
A river shapes the land without ever raising its voice.

She’s not asking for fireworks.
She’s asking for endurance.

Then the quiet boundary:
“Baby don’t rush, you’re no waterfall.”

That’s the deal-breaker disguised as tenderness.
The waterfall is the crash, the spectacle, the “falling in love” that feels good until you’re pulling yourself out of the wreckage.

She wants none of that.

Her voice is soft, but the boundaries are steel.

Strip away the romance of rivers and waterfalls and what she’s really saying is:

“If you’re going to love me, do it in a way that won’t break me.”

That’s not fear.
That’s experience.

The next verse shifts from river to sea — steady flow to swirling depth. Not for drama. For honesty. Intimacy always disorients you a little.

But even in that turbulence, she returns to her anchor: no rushing, no crashing, no spectacle. Even the sea has tides. Even passion needs rhythm.

Then the lens widens — earth, sky, rotation, gravity. Love as cycle, not event. Love that keeps you grounded without pinning you down.

And then back to the whisper:
“Love me, that is all.”

Simple words.
Colossal meaning.

What I love about this track is that it refuses to lie.

It doesn’t speak of love the way movies do — all gush, sparks, and declarations nobody could sustain after the credits roll. Gardot isn’t chasing fireworks. She’s not interested in romance that burns hot and disappears just as fast.

She’s talking about grown-folk love.

The kind that shows up.
The kind that lasts.
The kind built on years, not moments.

Her metaphors — river, sea, earth — aren’t poetic decoration. They’re durability tests:

Can your love flow?
Can it deepen?
Can it cycle?
Can it stay?

She’s asking for a love that tends a lifetime, not a scene. A love shaped by presence, not passion; by commitment, not chaos.

The kind you don’t stumble into.
The kind you earn.

And maybe that’s why this one gets me every time — there’s a difference between love that excites you and love that holds you. I’ve lived long enough to know which one matters more.

And let me say this plainly: this track comes from Melody Gardot’s debut album. Worrisome Heart was her first offering to the world, and I’ve rarely seen that kind of sophistication and grace appear so fully formed on a debut. Most artists spend years trying to grow into this kind of emotional control — the restraint, the nuance, the quiet authority. Gardot walked in with it from day one. No hesitation. No warm-up laps. Just a young artist already carrying the poise of someone who’s lived a lifetime and managed to distill it into song. Truly a marvel.

Before you watch the performance below, a quick note:
This reflection is based on the studio version of “Love Me Like a River Does,” from Worrisome Heart — the quiet, intimate rendition where she whispers the philosophy of grown-folk love straight into your chest. But in the live version you’re about to hear, she opens with something unexpected: the first verse of Nina Simone’s “Don’t Explain.” It’s a deliberate nod — smoky, weary, full of Simone’s emotional steel — and Gardot weaves it in so seamlessly you barely notice the transition until it’s done. One moment you’re in Nina’s world of bruised truth; the next, Gardot slips into her own song like it was always meant to follow. It turns the piece from a gentle plea into something closer to a declaration.

What makes the song hit is how Gardot never pushes. The arrangement stays minimal. The room stays dim. Every breath has space around it.

It’s intimacy without intrusion.
Truth without theater.

A quiet manifesto from someone who knows the cost of loving too fast and too violently.

She’s asking for love like water — not the kind that drowns you, but the kind that carries you and keeps coming back.

A grown-folk kind of love.
A river kind of love.
The kind that lasts because two people choose the flow over the fall.

And maybe that’s the real Sunday lesson — some songs don’t need volume to be heard. Some just need stillness.

Fuzzy Creatures, Women, and the Truth

2025/11/22Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, blogging, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2130, life, mental health, The Daily's, writing4 Comments

Daily writing prompt

Beach or mountains? Which do you prefer? Why?

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I’ve been to several corners of the world. I’ve spent time in places that would make people cringe—hell, they make me cringe when I let my mind drift back there. But when I look at these two choices, it feels like a no-brainer.

Give me the mountains.

Not the postcard kind—the real ones. The ones where the air thins out and you can hear your own pulse arguing with gravity. I’ve sat there wondering how much time it took to carve them into what they are—ancient, stubborn, unapologetically themselves. Walking a trail through them will kick your ass in the most honest way possible, every step a small tax you pay for the privilege of being there.

And when you finally reach whatever passes for a destination? The sense of accomplishment hits different. It’s not victory—it’s communion.

Funny thing is, when I was young, I swore the beach was where it was at. Not because I actually enjoyed it all that much—more because that’s where the women always talked about going. At that age, it was a no-brainer. Youth, and the nonsense we tell ourselves. I played volleyball barefoot in the sand, listened to that guy who only knew one chord on his guitar, watched the girls swoon like he was some kind of desert prophet. We had bonfires, told stories, laughed until the night was serenaded by the dawn.

It was magic in its own chaotic, salt-soaked way.
But even with all that, it doesn’t compare to the mountains for me.

Up there, everything strips down to what matters. You hear the creatures before you see them—felt more than observed. Every now and then one will wander out, give you that slow, measured look, maybe share the moment with you. They’re never fussy. I like that about them.

And somewhere along the way, I figured out there are women up there too.
Fuzzy creatures, women, and breathtaking views—what’s not to like?

Honestly, the animals might be cooler than most people. At least they don’t pretend to be anything other than what they are. People?
What did Morrison say?
People are strange—and he was being polite.

The beach is pretty, sure. But the mountains?
They make you bleed a little for every inch of beauty.
And anything worth keeping has always cost me something.

So yeah—I pick the mountains.
I trust things that don’t lie.

Red Line

2025/11/22Posted in FictionTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Madness Made Visible, Weekend Writing Prompt, writing10 Comments

The light tore through me before I understood it was mine. A red current, blistering the dark behind my eyes, splitting memory from bone. They called it prophecy, a vision, but it felt more like a confession—everything I’d avoided now illuminated in a single brutal line. I didn’t ask for clarity. Still, it came, scorching a path forward, and wide, demanding I follow or burn.

Sometimes Bare Trees Are the Loudest

2025/11/19Posted in TunageTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, Grooving With Glyn, life, love, mental health, Mixed Music Bag, QOTD, Tunage, writing4 Comments

Groovin’ with Glyn — November, Week 2

Track: “November Trees and Rain” – Marie Dresselhuis

On most November mornings, there’s a chill in the air. Not the kind that grabs you by the collar and shakes you awake, but the subtle kind — the one that lets you know it’s there. It moves slow, almost tender, until your body shivers without asking permission.

I hear the morning before I see it. A woodpecker knocking its code into the trees, winter birds answering in their thin, determined voices. I close my eyes and let the breeze speak for a while — the rustle of fallen leaves, the soft give of the season shifting underfoot. There’s a certain beauty in the bareness of the trees. Something quiet. Something honest. Not something I can describe cleanly in words, but it’s beautiful all the same — the kind of beauty that doesn’t need witnesses.

Then the world shifts again — one of those November moments of return. The air brakes hiss, then squeal, and suddenly the stillness cracks open. Children rush toward the bus, half-awake, half-dressed, somehow always unprepared and always ready. The adventure begins whether they are or not.

I remember my own kids doing the same. I miss those mornings — not with regret, but with that quiet wish a father carries for a different version of himself, a different decision made on a different day.

Guppy’s cry pulls me back. She’s in my chair, staring at me like I’m late. Her way of reminding me that the present is still here, still demanding, still alive. Work waits. Memory wanders. But Guppy doesn’t let me drift too far.

So let us go then, you and I, into this next stop in Groovin’ with Glyn — that mixed music bag I keep rummaging through.

“November Trees and Rain” doesn’t try to dazzle you. It doesn’t fight for attention. It just unfolds — steady, slow-water honest. The title alone feels like a location on a map: somewhere between the last red leaf falling and the moment the season exhales. The guitar comes in like breath; the vocals come in like thought; the whole thing feels like watching the world turn the page while you stand there holding the corner.

This is a song for people who know how to sit with themselves.
Not judge. Not fix. Just sit.

The Devil’s Voice in the Back of the Room

Not everyone trusts the quiet. They say they do, but not really. They want to be shocked and awed underneath while saying, “it’s so peaceful.” Some people hear a slow song and panic — like silence might reveal something they’ve worked hard to bury. Give them rain and they’ll close the blinds. Give them bare trees and they’ll look at their phones. Give them a morning like this and they won’t hear anything but their own hurry.

A song like “November Trees and Rain” has no chance with them.
Too inward.
Too honest.
Too close to the bone.

But November isn’t for cowards.
And neither is this track.

The Lift — Why It Belongs Here

Because there’s a moment midway through the month when the noise dies down — not the external noise, the internal one. This song fits right into that pocket. It’s the sound of a thought finally forming. The kind of realization you don’t chase; it arrives on its own timetable.

“November Trees and Rain” is what happens when the world stops performing and just is.
Bare.
Wet.
Cold.
True.

It reminds you that not everything beautiful announces itself — some things just endure.

Week 1 woke us.
Week 2 asks us to stay awake.

Because the trees are bare now, the rain has longer stories to tell.
Are you ready to listen?

Tap, tap, tap … Follow me

2025/11/18Posted in TunageTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Grooving With Glyn, Mixed Music Bag, music, November Tunes, november-lights, Tunage, writing5 Comments

Groovin’ with Glyn: November, Week 1

November doesn’t crash in. It slips under the doorframe like it owns the place, tracking in the smell of rain and cold metal. Children rubbing their bellies because they have OD’d on candy. I miss those days. November comes as if it knows we need to exhale. Not long, just a little bit. Something quick to recharge for the next round of madness.

There’s a moment in early November when the world gets quiet enough that you actually hear yourself think — and sometimes you wish you hadn’t. The wind carries that familiar bite as the last of the fall aromas slide along with it. Then something else rides in on the shift — soft, strange, a whisper you almost mistake for memory. You turn your head without meaning to, unsure if you heard anything at all. The wind changes again, closer this time, warm against your ear as it murmurs, “Wake up.”

That’s the space “Wake Up” lives in.

A small Scottish band barely scratching 30K streams, November Lights shouldn’t hit this hard on paper. But the track feels like standing just outside your own life, watching the windows fog over while you debate going back inside. Not regret or clarity. More like the low buzz of a lightbulb that isn’t sure if it wants to live or die.

The vocals don’t beg. They ask. Quietly. Like someone nudging you in the dark, not to startle you, but to keep you from drifting too far away. And the production carries that nocturnal haze — the kind that tells you somebody sat alone longer than they meant to, letting reverb fill the silence they didn’t want to face.

Beneath it all is a steady pulse, the kind that hints at recognition rather than revelation. November has a talent for that — it doesn’t hand you answers; it hands you a mirror. The cold sharpens edges you swore were already smooth. The light changes, and suddenly everything looks closer to the truth.

The Honest Take

This is a quietly beautiful track. Not earth-shattering. Not one that guts you. Not every song is meant to gut you, but all of them should resonate with you on some level. Not every listener — just the ones the track was meant for. Something you won’t know until the needle touches the vinyl. Some songs don’t raise their voice; they settle in beside you and wait. “Wake Up” is exactly that — understated, precise, intentional.

The Devil’s Voice in the Back of the Room

Look, if you’re waiting for grit, you won’t find it here.
If you want broken glass and a voice that sounds like it gargled the night, keep moving.
And yes — someone out there will dismiss this as too clean, too polished, too “indie boy with a synth pad.”

Let them.

Not every November needs a fist.
Some start with a shoulder tap, a soft reminder you can’t ignore.
Besides, honesty hits harder than distortion when you hear it at the right hour.

The Lift — Why It Belongs Here

Because November is a month with its own kind of mercy.
Not loud.
Not generous.
But real.

It doesn’t demand.
It nudges.
Sometimes it’s a hand on your shoulder saying, “You’re slipping. Come back to yourself.”

This song is that hand.
The hush before the confession.
The breath before the descent.
The spark before the month settles in.

Week 1 shouldn’t break you.
It should open the door.

“Wake Up” does that.
Softly.
Deliberately.
Without apology.

November is here.
The lights are on.
Step inside — and enjoy this breath, because winter is coming.

The Other Woman Was My Wife

2025/11/17Posted in TunageTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, music, Nina Simone, Song Lyric Sunday, Tunage, writing26 Comments

What I Learned Too Late and the Two Songs That Explained It

Song Lyric Sunday – Nina Simone, “The Other Woman”

My wife knew more about music than any woman I’ve ever met outside my mother. She couldn’t name artists, albums, or genres. None of that mattered. She just knew what was good. And the shit was spooky.

I learned this slowly, almost reluctantly, because I kept trying to talk to her about favorite artists. She never played that game. Her ear didn’t care about categories. Her heart didn’t negotiate with labels.

The first time she ever caught me off guard was the day I walked in and heard “Changes” by Black Sabbath drifting through the house.
Sabbath.
Black Sabbath.

Not a riff, not a hit — the one track that sounded like someone bottled regret.

It wasn’t that she was listening to Sabbath. It was that she somehow found the exact track I didn’t know I needed. And she did it without ever talking about music the way I did.

That quiet instinct — that sixth sense she carried — is what led her to two Nina Simone songs she treated like confessions. When she listened to Nina, the door stayed closed, the lamp stayed low, and you stayed out unless you were ready to walk into something fragile.

The smoke curled up from the cigarette balanced between her fingers, her hand resting beside a freshly cleaned ashtray. Hazelnut coffee filled the room, and Albert King was somewhere in the background complaining about the rain. I kissed her out of habit and apology — I stank to high heaven after a long day.

While I cleaned up, the music drifted from one blues track to another. I thought about grabbing a nap before the girls came home, when a voice cut through everything — soft, measured, heavy.

…wait. Is that Nina?

Next thing I knew, I was back at the table with a fresh cup of coffee. She didn’t look up, just nodded.

“I figured you’d get a nap before the girls got home,” she said.

I smiled into my cup.
This is why I married her — she got me.
She married me because I could reach the top shelf.
Balance in all things.

She slid the CD case to me and tapped a single track:

“The Other Woman.”

I replayed it a few times — autopsy mode — until she reached over and rested her hand on mine.

“Let it play, baby,” she said softly.

So I did.

“The Other Woman” isn’t loud or dramatic. It’s a truth-teller — the kind of song that doesn’t raise its voice because it doesn’t have to. Nina sings it low and steady, like someone who’s already made peace with the ache she’s naming. The piano stays half-lit, the bass moves like it’s carrying news no one wants to hear, and nothing in the arrangement tries to comfort you.

That’s what hooked my wife.
Not the lyrics.
Not the storyline.
The tone.

The way Nina delivered loneliness without apology.
The way she stood inside the ache without flinching.

My wife knew that tone.
She knew what it felt like to love a man who was half hers and half claimed by something bigger and colder than home.
“The Other Woman” wasn’t a song about cheating to her; it was the shape of a loneliness she never put into words — but Nina named it clean.

Back then, I thought it was a strange song for her to be listening to. I wasn’t stepping out. I felt the loneliness in Nina’s voice, but I didn’t understand the source. Maybe I wasn’t meant to — not then.

Years later, when she got sick — the kind of sick that turns a hospital room into a country of its own — I sat beside her bed with Nina in my headphones while I tried to write. And that’s when it hit me.

My wife knew what it felt like to be the other woman.

Not because of infidelity.
Not because of anything I did wrong.
But because of devotion and duty — the two forces that built our life and carved holes in it at the same time.

She loved a man claimed by an oath he made before he ever met her.
A man whose phone could ring at 2:17 a.m.
A man who packed on short notice and left with even less.

We preached “Family First.”
Said it often.
Said it like it was gospel.

But the truth — the one Nina kept whispering — was “Mission First.”

If “The Other Woman” named the loneliness, then “Tell Me More and Then Some” named the hunger beneath it.

Not desire — presence.
Not passion — time.
Nina sings that second track like a woman reaching out in the dark, asking for just a little more of a man she barely gets to keep.

For a military spouse, that’s the whole gospel:
the hours rationed out,
the moments cut short,
the days borrowed by orders.

You love the man, but the world keeps the schedule.

My wife never said she needed more of me — she never would have — but Nina said it for her.
Together, those two songs held the architecture of her heart:
the ache of being second and the quiet hope that maybe she could still have a little more time before the world claimed me again.

They lived on the same compilation she brought home when the girls were little — After Hours, still my favorite Nina collection. Maybe because it brought her voice into our home. Or maybe because it brought her truth into mine.

Those two tracks weren’t random choices.

They were the language she used to hold the parts of our life that the military kept taking.
The ache she carried quietly.
The hunger she never burdened me with.

Even now, as I write this, another Nina track slips in — “Ain’t No Use.” I didn’t cue it. Didn’t expect it. But there it is, like it wandered in to confirm every word on this page.

Nina always did that in our home — show up when truth was ready.

“The Other Woman” is my official Song Lyric Sunday entry because it appears on the 1969 compilation The Best of Nina Simone, one of her earliest and most enduring collections.

But really?
I’m choosing it because my wife understood this song long before I did. She lived the ache of being second to a calling she never chose, with a grace I still don’t know how to name.

Some songs don’t remind you of a person —
they finish the conversations you didn’t know you were having while they were still here.

This is one of those songs.

Let it play, baby.

Author’s Note:
This piece isn’t about infidelity. It’s about the complicated places where love and duty overlap, and the quiet truths that grow in the spaces no one talks about. My wife and I were both Nina Simone fans, though she understood Nina in ways I didn’t grasp until much later. The songs mentioned here — “The Other Woman” and “Tell Me More and Then Some” — were part of her private rituals, the moments she used to hold what our life couldn’t always name. This essay is my way of honoring the weight she carried with grace. If any part of it resonates with you, let it. That’s Nina’s doing, not mine.

Can You Read a Person’s Soul in Five Seconds?

2025/11/16Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2124, family, humanity, life, love, racism, The Daily's, writing6 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What’s the first impression you want to give people?

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When I was young, they drilled it into us: “First impressions are lasting impressions.”
Dress right, talk right, act right.
Show people the best version of yourself and they’ll treat you accordingly.

Then I stepped into the world as a Black man in America and learned the fine print they never bothered to mention:
some folks made their impressions before I even opened my mouth.
They’d look at me and decide who I was, what I was, and where I belonged.
Then came the compliments disguised as praise—“articulate”—like I’d crawled out of the woods dragging a club and a grunt.

I wish I could say that nonsense is ancient history.
That we’ve evolved past it.
But I’ve lived long enough to know you can pull down statues, rename buildings, and rewrite curriculum, and still never undo the generational damage.
When I was a kid, history class felt like a bragging session: Look what we did to these people.
The day I discovered the truth about President Lincoln—his contradictions, his motives, the myth vs. the man—I blew up in class and got tossed out.
Didn’t help my GPA, but it sure helped my clarity.

Funny thing is, I didn’t let that anger harden me.
I kept reading.
And the more I learned, the more Lincoln felt like someone I could actually respect—someone I could sit down and have coffee with, contradictions and all.

Years later, my daughter came home with a school assignment about Lincoln, and I saw my opening. I had the knowledge. I had the books. I had the truth.
But something said, Slow down.
So I asked her, “Do you want the truth, or what they teach you in school?”
She chose school.
And I understood.
The whitewashing had already reached her generation.
Her innocence was intact.
Her hope was intact.
And I wasn’t ready to be the one to crack it.

That same daughter once refused to watch movies about racism.
Hands on her hips, chin up, she said, “It isn’t like that anymore.”
A moment of pride mixed with dread.
Because I knew she was wrong—not out of foolishness, but out of youth.
I knew one day the world would show her its teeth.
And the worst part?
There wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it.

Eventually, she came back to me with another assignment—Malcolm X this time.
She knew exactly what she was doing.
The moment she said his name, I switched on like a breaker panel.
I dragged out every book I had. I told her everything school would never teach her.
That kid didn’t lift a finger for that assignment.
I did the whole damn thing.
Yep—she played me.
I still tease her about it.

But I’d be lying if I said I don’t make snap judgments of my own.
When you’ve lived long enough, patterns get etched into you.
But every now and then, life steps in and reminds me I don’t know everything either.

Once, in Wyoming, I’d forgotten my shower kit and wandered into a general store expecting the usual sideways looks.
Instead, the woman at the register glanced at my items and said, “Honey, you forgot…”
She pointed out what I missed, sent me back for it, and checked everything again when I returned.
“Now you’re ready,” she said.
Simple kindness.
Caught me off guard.
Still makes me smile.

Another time, in Montana, a freak storm trapped us in a Chinese restaurant. Power went out, candles came on, and the kitchen kept rolling like it was nothing new.
I went to the bathroom, and an older gentleman nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw me.
I said, “Hell, I’m not gonna cook you and eat you.”
Let it hang there.
He burst out laughing. We walked out with nods of mutual respect—two strangers caught in something human.

Later that same night, a man walked up to my table—me and my biracial friend—and asked, “You having fun?”
Same words, twice.
Same smile that doesn’t smile.
My friend tensed. I put a hand on him to settle him.
Storm wasn’t going anywhere.
No point making our own.

And here’s the thing:
When America talks race, everything gets framed as Black vs. White.
Two sides. One battlefield.
But history wasn’t that small.

Black folks and White folks just had better publicists.

Because while America was glued to civil rights marches on TV, every marginalized group in this country was fighting their own battles:

Asian immigrants finally broke through racist immigration quotas with the 1965 Immigration and Nationality Act.
The Chicano Movement reshaped labor rights, education, and political identity.
Native activists occupied Alcatraz, formed AIM, and demanded sovereignty.
In 1969, N. Scott Momaday became the first Native American to win the Pulitzer for Fiction.
Japanese Americans were fighting for redress after internment.
Filipino farmworkers sparked the grape strike.
And the Stonewall uprising ignited the modern LGBTQ+ movement.

Everyone was fighting.
Everyone was changing the country.
But America prefers a tidy narrative.
Reality never asked for one.

So let me be clear before someone tries to twist my words:
This isn’t a Black vs. White essay.
Not even close.

Because hate?
Hate is colorblind.

It doesn’t care about race, religion, gender, sexual orientation, or whatever else we invent to justify cruelty.
I learned that the hard way.

I was overseas once—a situation that turned violent fast.
Not combat the way we trained for.
Not patriotic speeches or heroic music.
Just raw hate aimed at a group of Americans who looked like the whole world shrunk into one squad.
Black, white, brown—none of it mattered.
They didn’t hate our skin.
They hated our nationality.
And they came at us like it was sport.

We came home bonded by survival, only to step back into a country where the old assumptions waited like unpaid bills.

These days, I laugh—but not because any of it is funny.
I laugh out of frustration and exhaustion.
Because sometimes that’s the only release valve a man’s got.

So first impressions…
they have their uses, I suppose.
But I’ve seen them lie, and I’ve seen them reveal the whole damn soul of a person.
Sometimes they’re nothing but noise.
Sometimes they expose the heart.
You learn to pay attention—not to the surface, but to the truth leaking around the edges.

And while folks are busy misjudging me on sight, I remind myself of one truth:

We fought to protect “God and Country.”
So if you’re out here treating me falsely,
just remember—
I defended your right to do it.

Damn, I’m good at my job.

What We Pretend Not to See

2025/11/15Posted in The Daily'sTagged book review, books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2123, Fiction, reading, The Daily's, writing7 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What book are you reading right now?

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It’s never as simple as answering, “What book are you reading right now?” I usually have four or five going at once — most of them nonfiction. Histories, craft books, philosophy, the “how did this happen and why does it still matter?” kind of material. Somewhere along the way, I forgot how to read purely for pleasure. Training does that. Once you learn to take stories apart, you stop seeing them as entertainment and start seeing them as machines.

Even when a novel doesn’t fully work, I still take a wrench to it.
I listen for the knock in the engine, the missed beat in a line of dialogue, the moment the writer blinked instead of pushing through. I can enjoy a book, absolutely — but I enjoy it like a mechanic listening to an engine idling just a little rough.

And here’s the part I’m almost embarrassed to admit: I can’t bring myself to write in books. Feels like a cardinal sin. So instead I’ve got notebooks scattered all over the house — pages filled with scribbles, arrows, fragments, arguments I’m having with an author who isn’t in the room. I finally gave in and bought one of those e-reader gizmos that lets you highlight the digital version. It feels like cheating, but at least I’m not defacing paper. A technicality, but I’ll take the loophole.

So when someone asks what I’m reading, they expect a title.
But the truth is, I’m running an autopsy.

And the books on my desk right now — Under the Dome by Stephen King and L.A. Confidential by James Ellroy — are the kind that don’t give up their secrets easily. Which is exactly why they matter.

Stephen King gets labeled “the Master of Horror,” but that’s just a convenience for the shelf. King’s real mastery is building pressure systems — closed environments where the air tightens and ordinary people start showing their real faces. In Under the Dome, the dome could be aliens, magic, or a freak atmospheric event; it doesn’t matter. It’s a magnifying glass. It forces truth to the surface.

King understands that people don’t transform under pressure — they’re revealed. Chester’s Mill doesn’t turn violent because of the dome. The dome just takes away the freedom to pretend.

And that’s where the cognitive dissonance hits.
You read something wild — a man electrocuted by an invisible barrier, the town fracturing into fear and paranoia — and your mind rejects it. “People aren’t like this,” you think. But rewind thirty seconds. You heard a crash outside your window, put the book down, checked it out, and watched your neighbor scream at a trash can like it betrayed him. You shook your head at the nonsense, then came back to a fictional scene that suddenly feels easier to believe than real life.

That’s King’s trick.
He shows you something unbelievable so you finally acknowledge the truth you’ve been ignoring.

Ellroy, on the other hand, doesn’t need supernatural pressure.
He starts inside the rot.

In L.A. Confidential, corruption isn’t a plot device — it’s oxygen. The moral decay isn’t creeping in; it’s already soaked into every wall, badge, and handshake. His characters don’t break down over time. They begin the story already fractured, already bent by pressures they barely acknowledge. Ellroy’s cognitive dissonance comes from the reader wanting to believe people aren’t this cruel, this compromised, this hungry for power and absolution.

But then your phone buzzes with a news alert and disproves that hope in under four seconds.

Ellroy doesn’t distort reality.
He removes the polite language that keeps us comfortable.

King writes about what happens when the walls close in.
Ellroy writes about what happens when the walls never existed in the first place.

King exposes human nature by turning up the pressure.
Ellroy exposes human nature by turning off the excuses.

One town collapses because the dome forces truth to the surface.
The other city collapses because truth was never allowed to stand upright.

Both men understand something we work very hard to avoid:

The unbelievable is always happening.
The unbelievable has always been happening.
We just prefer to call it fiction.

So when someone asks what I’m reading, the short answer is Under the Dome and L.A. Confidential.

But the real answer is: I’m reading two authors who drag the human condition out into the open, each in their own way — King through the surreal, Ellroy through the hyperreal. Both force you to look at the reflection, even when you’d rather look away.

And maybe that’s the part we pretend not to see —
the truth isn’t hiding from us.
We’re hiding from it.

The Bookstore I Never Opened

2025/11/152025/11/14Posted in The Daily'sTagged Alternative Careers, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2101, The Daily's, Used Bookstore, writing3 Comments

What alternative career paths have you considered or are interested in?

When I think about alternate paths, I don’t lean toward regret so much as curiosity. I made the choices I needed to make—provide for my family, show up when it mattered, carry the weight I was handed without folding. That path shaped me, and I don’t flinch from it.

I’ve always wanted to write, and I’m doing that. I wanted a life that mattered to someone beyond myself, and I lived that out as a soldier. And the best job I’ve ever had—the one nobody prepared me for but I’d sign up for again without hesitation—is being a parent. Nothing outshines that.

But there were other lives tugging at me from the edges.

If you were to look at my bookshelves, you might think I was quietly running a used bookstore out of my living room. My grandchildren even thought I lived in a library for a while. I just smiled and let them believe it. Honestly, the only thing keeping me from opening a bookstore is the part where you’re expected to sell the books. I understand the business model—I’m just not convinced it’s for me.

Books and music have always been my constants. If life had tilted differently, I could’ve easily become the old guy at the record store or the corner bookstore—the one who knows exactly which album you need on a bad day or which worn-down paperback might knock some truth loose in you. There’s a version of me in another timeline handing people vinyl and saying, “Trust me,” then going back to alphabetizing the Miles Davis section for the fifteenth time.

Maybe that’s the thread through all of it: stories and sound have always been the places I went to breathe.

And the wild thing is, I’m basically living that alternate life now. Not in a storefront, but through the work I do—curating, writing, sharing pieces of music and meaning, building spaces where people come to find something they didn’t know they needed. Turns out you don’t need a counter or a cash register to play that role. Just shelves full of books, stacks of vinyl, and enough stubborn joy to keep the doors open in your own way.

So yes, there were other paths I might’ve walked. But the one I chose? It mattered. And the one I’m building now—this mix of writing, art, story, and sound—might just be the closest I’ve ever come to living all my alternate lives at once.

I Didn’t Grow Up — I Got Drafted

2025/11/142025/11/14Posted in The Daily'sTagged childhood, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2088, family, life, love, mental health, The Daily's, writingLeave a comment

Daily writing prompt

When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

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Some people swear I was never a child. They talk about me like I came out of the womb already irritated with humanity—scowl pre-installed, voice warmed up and ready to yell at strangers. And honestly? I get it. I spent over twenty years raising my voice for a living. Hard to picture a guy like that in a onesie, getting hyped over stickers and suckers.

But I remember it.
I remember rolling my eyes with the kids and grandkids—performing the whole too cool for this act—but also hoping, in that quiet place you don’t admit out loud, that nobody ever broke their hearts or stole their joy. There’s something about watching innocence that makes you want to stand guard, even if you pretend you’re above it.

Still, none of that made me feel grown.
Not the early milestones everyone swears matter. Not the first kiss, the first heartbreak, or the first time I put on a uniform and pretended I knew what I was doing. I hit all the checkpoints without crossing the threshold.

Adulthood didn’t sneak up gently.
It came as a year—a tight, unrelenting twelve months—where mortality stopped being philosophical and started breathing down my neck. I remember one night in particular: stepping outside after an incident, dust still floating in the air, adrenaline refusing to let my hands settle. That was the moment I understood life wasn’t theoretical. It could vanish, just like that.

And somewhere in that stretch, something inside me shifted. Not a big, cinematic revelation. More like an internal fracture you can’t ignore once you hear it.

The kid in me didn’t disappear; he just stopped driving. Maybe he stepped back. Maybe he grew quiet. Maybe he finally understood the stakes.

Because once I walked onto a battlefield, I knew I wasn’t a kid anymore.
You feel the ground vibrating under your boots, and it rearranges something in you. Permanently. After that, youth stops being a phase and becomes a memory.

People love to believe adulthood is a choice—something you claim, or celebrate, or ease into with birthdays and responsibilities.

For me, it arrived in the dirt and the dust and the dark.
A draft notice I never signed, delivered on a day I can’t forget.

I didn’t grow up.
I got drafted.

The Place That Doesn’t Ask Anything of Me

2025/11/14Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, daily-prompt, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2122, life, Life Lessons, love, mental health, The Daily's, wisdom, writing6 Comments

Daily writing prompt

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

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If I could live anywhere in the world, I’d choose a place that doesn’t demand explanations or performances. I’ve lived in cities, deserts, the deep woods — turns out I can settle in just about any landscape as long as it leaves me room to disappear a little.

These days, I picture a small town within driving distance of my hideaway. A place where the market clerk nods without prying, and the librarian teases me about my tattered books but respects the depth of them. Guppy wouldn’t trust her at first, naturally. But a few well-timed treats would work faster than diplomacy ever could. Age catches up with all of us, but if anyone’s going on a diet, it’s her.

Most mornings would start the same: a meditation-heavy book cracked open, a good pen waiting, coffee steaming, my thoughts wandering until Guppy yanks me back to earth with a judgmental meow. Just enough contact with the world to keep me grounded — not enough to get invited to supper. (People get touchy when you say no.)

What I’m really chasing is a chance to breathe. A place where the air isn’t sharpened by worry, where everything isn’t a potential threat even when it isn’t one. Somewhere I can write without the static of the world pressing in, where anonymity isn’t loneliness — it’s relief.

And at the end of each day, I’d know I chose right: Guppy stretching and settling into her next perch, the porch light catching dust in the evening air, the quiet presence of night creatures moving around me. They don’t disturb me. I don’t disturb them. Just a mutual agreement to exist without fear.

Hard to ask for more than that.

What I Found, What I Kept, What I Became

2025/11/13Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2121, family, life, Life Lessons, love, The Daily's, writing5 Comments

A simple sewing kit, a lifetime of inherited rhythm.

I ended up with my mother’s sewing kit after she crossed over, though “kit” might be too generous a word. It was a simple plastic box the color of old Tupperware, caked in decades of dirt and lint and whatever life had rubbed off on it. I emptied the contents, cleaned it, and put everything back the way I remembered. Funny thing is, I didn’t think I remembered much—until I did. Muscle memory is honest like that.

She used to have me sit beside her while she ran her old Singer like it was a locomotive. Heat built up around that machine. The motor would hum, fabric would spark with static, and the whole room felt charged—like electricity and summer trapped in a small space. My job was simple: keep the needles threaded and the bobbins loaded. I’d keep a couple wound and ready so she’d never have to stop. Every time she hit her groove, something new for my room came out of it. I didn’t buy store-bought sheets until I got married.

I learned to sew, knit, crochet—“girlie things,” the world called them. I say that with a smirk because later, when I had daughters, I taught them the same skills I wasn’t “supposed” to know. Nothing shuts down a stereotype quicker than a man who can backstitch better than you.

After she passed, I didn’t want to use her kit. That box felt like sacred ground. I told myself I’d build my own—fresh basket, fresh tools, fresh start. I even wrote out a supply list. But finding the right basket turned into a ridiculous odyssey. I mentioned the problem to a friend, and she told me, “You know, it’s okay to use your mom’s.”

I refused without thinking.

She didn’t push. She just said softly, “She wouldn’t mind.”

But that was the thing—I minded.

The kit sat there for years. Cleaned, restored, untouched.

The turning point came the day I wandered into a store to look at sewing machines. I wanted something that felt close to her old Singer, though I knew nothing like it existed anymore. The man behind the counter didn’t ask what kind of stitch work I did or what machine I learned on. Didn’t ask about thread tension or feed dogs or bobbin types. He just talked price.
Over and over.
Like money was the point.

I walked out without saying much. If the first thing you bring to me is cost instead of purpose, we have nothing to talk about.

I went home and opened her kit again. Those old Singer needles were still inside—delicate, outdated, impossible to replace. I picked one up and threaded it without thinking, the way she taught me. When I pricked my finger, I could practically hear her: “Where’s your thimble?” The kind of thing she’d say with half-exasperation, half-love. I stuck my finger in my mouth like a kid, and for the first time since she crossed the veil, I smiled.

She once told me, “I’m teaching you all this stuff because knowing you, you’ll marry a woman who doesn’t know how to do anything.” She said it with affection, the way mothers do when they’ve already figured you out.
She was wrong, of course. I didn’t marry a woman like that.

I remember a visit where Mom and my late wife argued—good-natured but firm—about who spoiled me the most. According to them, I was spoiled rotten. According to me, I’m just a man who thinks things ought to be done a certain way.

Hell, right is right, right?

You know, the precision of that first stitch—after all those years—hit me harder than I expected. Something about it was too perfect, too familiar, like my hands remembered a language my mind forgot. And now that I’m older, I find myself full of questions I’d ask my mother and my late wife if the veil worked both ways. It never does. There’s always a million things you want to say to someone once they’re gone.

Looking back, I think teaching me all that sewing and knitting wasn’t just about preparing me for some imaginary woman who couldn’t thread a needle. I think she was keeping my hands busy, slowing down a mind that ran too hot, too fast. At the time, I didn’t believe there was a woman on this planet who couldn’t sew, stitch, or fix something. Then I dated one. Funny thing—I even thought about marrying her. Maybe my mother knew something I didn’t.

There’s something about using my hands that stills me. Crafting, repairing, working with tools—it forces my mind to slow down and focus in a way nothing else does. Writing pulls me outward into worlds that don’t exist yet, chasing the unknown. But when I sew, or mend, or make something real, the world narrows to the size of the task. It started with that old sewing kit on the shelf. But it grew into something much larger. Using her tools isn’t about the past anymore.
It’s how I keep my hands steady enough to build the future

Daily writing prompt

What’s the coolest thing you’ve ever found (and kept)?

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Confessions of a Horrible Student II: The Connie Winford Diabolical

2025/11/07Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2115, family, Fiction, life, love, The Daily's, writing4 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What was your favorite subject in school?

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“Because sometimes the lessons that shape you come folded, ink-stained, and intercepted by your parents.”

The last time we talked, I narrowly escaped the fallout from The Battle.
I still don’t know why my father even put up a fight. In situations like that, Mom wins—she always wins.

Dinner was late that night, and Dad’s last nerve; frayed. He moped around the house like a rejected understudy in his own life. Mom chuckled every time she passed him—quietly, of course, out of his line of sight.

But enough about The Battle. I’m here today to tell you about my next misadventure: The Connie Winford Diabolical.

Suppose you’ve ever been twelve and suddenly realized that girls weren’t carriers of incurable cooties but mysterious, magnificent creatures who smelled like shampoo and danger. In that case, you already know where this story begins. And what were those bumps on their chest? Some mysterious growth? Were they dying? Nope—they were boobs. The downfall of man.

Middle School.
The arena of hormonal confusions, bad decisions, Grey Flannel, and Drakkar. The mixture alone was enough to make anyone hurl. But back then, we had the constitution of gods—right up until alcohol got involved. That’s a story for another day.

By then, I’d graduated from class clown to romantic visionary. English was still my thing, which meant I’d discovered a weapon far more dangerous than spitballs—words.

I started writing notes. Not just any notes. Masterpieces. Folded with precision, tight enough to survive the perilous journey across the classroom. Each one a mini-drama of doodled hearts, overwrought metaphors, and shamelessly borrowed Hallmark poetry.

Shakespeare would have been proud.

However, evidence suggested otherwise.

Then came The Note.

She was new—a transfer student, with curly hair, a smile like she’d been warned not to use it in public. Connie Winford. A name that still sounds like a trap.

I slipped her my finest work: a declaration of eternal middle-school devotion written in purple ink. It included the words destiny, soul connection, and—God help me—forever.

She giggled. I took that as a victory. But she showed her best friend, who showed another, and by lunch, the entire cafeteria knew I’d pledged undying love. They had thoughts. Loud ones.

I tried to play it cool. That lasted six minutes. Then, in a fit of damage control, I wrote a second note claiming it was all a joke. She didn’t buy it. My teacher, who intercepted note number three, definitely didn’t buy it.

By 2:15, I was in the principal’s office. By 3:00, my parents had been called.

Home.

My father was furious. “No man in this family conducts himself like this,” he said.

Mom countered, “What about Uncle Butch?”

My father popped, “You think this is a laughing matter?”

I braced myself for the usual surrender—Mom softening, saying something like, Of course not, dear.

But not my mama. No way.

“Yep, freaking hilarious,” she said. “You act like you didn’t pass me notes in school. If I recall, your note was worse than his. Plus, your folding was terrible. Everyone knows it’s about the presentation. Eat your peas.”

Dad said nothing. Just stabbed at his plate, probably reconsidering all his life choices.

That night, I did what any self-respecting, lovesick fool would do: I called her. The house phone was mounted on the kitchen wall—the kind with a coiled cord long enough to lasso a small horse. I dragged it down the hallway into my room and whispered my apology, voice trembling like it carried state secrets.

Things were going well—until I heard it.

A click.

The quiet death of privacy.

My parents were listening in.

Mother’s voice came first: “That’s a mighty long cord for a short conversation.”

Then Father, dry as ever: “Son, next time you write a love note, use better paper. That cheap stuff smears.”

This from a man who knew his folding game was subpar.
Was I adopted?

They tag-teamed me. There was no escape.

I hung up the phone, face burning, dignity in ruins.

The next day, my teacher sentenced me to read from the dictionary during lunch. I didn’t mind. It felt poetic somehow.

That’s the day I learned two things:

Love makes geniuses stupid.
Parents have a sixth sense for dial tones. Some may even say, they feel a disturbance in the Force.

And maybe—just maybe—that’s when I became a writer. Because if you’re going to get in trouble for your words, they might as well be worth reading.
Until you get in trouble saying nothing. Again, a story for another day.

The Negotiation of Light: Notes on Screens, Silence, and Stillness

2025/11/06Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2114, life, mental health, social-media, The Daily's, writing5 Comments

Daily writing prompt

How do you manage screen time for yourself?

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In the mornings, when I sit on the porch with my coffee, I watch the world before it fully wakes. The birds navigate from post to post, wings catching the soft light as if they were practicing choreography from a higher rehearsal. I imagine their laughter in bird-speak — gossip about Gary, the feathered fool who embarrassed himself at last night’s “Bird Watch.”

I marvel at how they not only fly but know where they’re going. Then it hits me — magnetism, the original GPS. Nature had built-in navigation long before we turned it into a subscription model.

The squirrels join the morning rush soon after, leaping from limb to limb with effortless grace. There’s a small platoon that passes by daily — the same crew, the same route. I can almost hear them cheering one another on: “Look at you! We’re almost there — ten more minutes!”

And there I am, coffee in hand, watching this unfiltered world unfold — no buffering, no pop-ups, no endless scroll. Just life doing what life does best: being.

Several years ago, I wrote a short line on social media:

“Curb your addiction; Netflix is not a lifestyle.”

At the time, streaming was the new religion. Everyone worshiped the next series drop like it was gospel, and I was no better. I said it partly to be clever, partly as a confession. Because let’s face it — I wasn’t preaching from a mountaintop; I was speaking from the couch.

Even now, I still believe we should spend more time reading, thinking, and being with the people who matter. But the reality is more complicated. These days, screens aren’t just entertainment — they’re the medium of our lives. I’ve written novels, edited photographs, designed worlds, and built entire digital ecosystems from a laptop screen. I’ve written on this blog nearly every day for months straight, and much of it was done on my phone between sips of coffee and the next notification.

So, how do I manage screen time? I don’t always manage it. I negotiate with it.

My desktop is for heavy creative work — the serious stuff: film editing, image manipulation, long fiction. My laptop is for writing in motion. But when I pick up my phone, that small rectangle becomes a world all its own. It’s easy to get lost in that glow — the infinite scroll of headlines, half-truths, dopamine, and distraction.

I once read that researchers call this Small Screen Addiction. I laughed — mostly because I recognized myself in the diagnosis. It’s that quiet pull to check just one more thing, that phantom buzz you swear you felt. The addiction isn’t to the device; it’s to the anticipation of something happening.

That’s the real danger. We’ve become a generation of watchers waiting for something new to arrive on our screens — a message, a miracle, a moment of validation.

These days, I try to make peace with it. I’ve set small rituals: no screens before coffee, no scrolling after midnight, and at least one hour a day where I stare at the ceiling or the sky instead of pixels. It’s not perfect, but it’s balance — or something like it.

And then the day winds down. I return to the porch, this time with tea instead of coffee, preparing for whatever remains of the night. Sometimes I play an audiobook I’ve already heard — something familiar enough to let my mind wander through the spaces between words, where new ideas like to hide.

The glow shifts now — from screens to the eyes of nocturnal creatures beginning their day. They watch me, curious, trying to decide if I mean harm or if I’m one of them. I smell different, but I’ve earned their tolerance through time and quiet. Yes, this is my home — but it was theirs long before me, and it will be theirs long after I’m gone.

It’s funny, the things you learn when you sit, watch, and listen. Their stories begin to braid themselves into yours. Something to be shared — not uploaded or streamed, just lived.

And maybe that’s the best screen management there is.

Author’s Note

We’re surrounded by light — digital, artificial, celestial — and each one demands something of us. Some burn fast and bright, while others whisper in frequencies older than language. The trick, I think, isn’t to turn them off, but to listen long enough to know which ones deserve your attention.

The Bloom and the Blade

2025/11/06Posted in Dispatches from the Splinters of My MindTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Dispatches, fantasy, Fiction, Fiction Series, flash fiction, short-story, writingLeave a comment

Entry Eleven: Dispatches from the Splinters of My Mind

I found her in the middle of a killing field that should have had no place for beauty.

The moon sat low and full behind her, a pale coin pressed into the sky, casting that cold lacquered light across armor, bodies, and the drifting ash of trampled blossoms. The night smelled of copper and rain. Around us the dead refused to stay still; wind pushed their rags like restless sighs.

I had already decided the day was lost—too many screams, too many men swinging at ghosts. But then I saw her, and the world tilted. She stood where no one should have stood: upright, unhurried, her robe heavy with embroidery, dark as ink, stitched with peonies and waves that shimmered when the moon looked her way.

The first thought that crossed my mind was: Who brings flowers to war?
The second: Maybe the flowers brought her.

They grew around her feet, low white clusters, fragile as breath. Some had taken root in the soft mud, others hovered midair like they hadn’t decided what kind of thing they wanted to be. A faint perfume drifted off them, too clean for this place. And then I realized some of them were growing from her—the side of her face, her shoulder, the line of her arm. A bloom of defiance carved into flesh.

Behind her stood four figures draped in similar black silk, motionless. Their eyes were lowered, hands clasped before them. Attendants, perhaps. Or echoes. Even from where I stood, I knew they weren’t here to fight. They were here to witness.

I tightened my hand on my sword because habit is older than reason.

The ground sucked at my boots as I stepped closer. Somewhere to my left, a man still dying called for his mother. Another, somewhere behind, recited a prayer halfway through his blood. But sound thinned the closer I came to her. Like the air around her absorbed noise and left only pulse.

She looked at me when I was five paces away. Not before. Not after. Like she’d measured the exact distance between recognition and threat.

Her eyes were half-lidded, the color of tarnished brass. Her mouth was calm, as if the ruin surrounding her had been a foregone conclusion. One petal rested just below her cheekbone, pale against the skin. She didn’t brush it away.

“You walk like a man who has forgotten why he still draws breath,” she said.

Her voice was quiet but cut through the air like string through silk.

“I’ve followed death long enough to know his rhythm,” I said. “Some nights he leads. Some nights I do.”

She inclined her head, just enough to show she’d heard. “You are ronin,” she said. “A sword with no oath.”

“Whatever name suits you,” I said. “You stand where no one should stand.”

She looked past me toward the moon. “Where else would I be? When blades sing, flowers bloom. The field requires witness.”

She had no weapon in her hands, yet everything about her said blade. I’ve met killers who strutted under banners, and others who killed softly with no name to anchor their ghosts. She belonged to neither. Her stillness made me feel the way a boy feels before the first snow—expectant, humbled, afraid to speak.

“You should leave,” I said. “When dawn comes, they’ll burn what’s left.”

“You mistake me,” she said. “I came to see who is worthy.”

That word bit. Worthy. I’d watched too many noblemen rot in palanquins to trust it. Worthy is what the dying call themselves before the blade arrives.

“Worthy of what?” I asked.

“Of the sword. Of the bloom. Of carrying death without becoming it.”

The field groaned. A survivor staggered from the smoke—young, wild-eyed, clutching a short spear he didn’t know how to hold. He saw her, and some idiot fire lit behind his teeth. Maybe he thought she was a reward for surviving. Maybe he thought the gods had thrown him one last chance to matter.

He ran at her, screaming.

In battle you have seconds to make a decision. Whether wrong or right, it needs to be made. One of the fastest ways to learn someone is not what they say, but how they fight.

For one breath, I froze. I had seen too much to believe in rescues. The smart thing—the living thing—was to watch it unfold. Yet something in her stillness reached me, a quiet that felt older than every order I’d ever followed.

I moved before thought could argue. Maybe it was reflex. Maybe guilt. Or maybe—and this is the truth I won’t soften—I moved because her movement deserved a blade.

I drew, stepped forward, and cut low. The arc found his thigh. He stumbled, confused, half alive. I turned the motion, cut again—clean, deliberate, final. His blood came hot, red against moonlight. It splashed over the flowers at her feet.

They didn’t stain.

The droplets slid off as if the world itself refused to let his death take root there.

She looked at me, not with gratitude but recognition.

“You took him before he had time to be afraid,” she said. “That was mercy.”

I laughed, short and dry. “That’s a generous name for what I do.”

“There are cruelties worse than steel,” she said. “You gave him a swift exit. That counts.”

Her calm should have offended me, but it didn’t. It steadied something that had been shaking inside for too long.

I studied her again, this time the way I studied opponents before the first strike. Every warrior moves according to what they believe: greed, fear, pride, duty. The body tells the truth the mouth hides. She stood like someone who believed in balance—not victory, not survival, just the quiet between breaths.

“Who are you?” I asked.

“A name is only a sheath,” she said. “Tonight, I am what you see.”

“I see a woman blooming on a battlefield.”

“And I see a man who still listens for music in the clash,” she said. “We are both out of place.”

The four behind her lifted their eyes then—slowly, together. Four sets of dark irises, moonlit, unreadable. The air thickened, like waiting for a storm that didn’t come.

“You could have struck me,” I said.

“I could have,” she replied. “But you already offered your sword.”

“I fought even though it wasn’t my fight,” I said. “Your movements deserved my blade.”

She gave the smallest nod, approval or farewell—I couldn’t tell which. “Then peace, ronin. Not the peace of victory. The peace that lives in the breath between strikes.”

For a long moment, we stood there—two still figures in a world still burning. Around us, the wounded moaned, the fires licked the edges of the field, but none of it entered the space between us. The night had carved a small silence and decided to let us share it.

I let the sword drop, tip resting in mud. Not surrender. A bow to something rarer.

When I looked again, the blossoms at her feet had multiplied. Their pale glow shimmered faintly in the dark, each one perfect, each one refusing the ugliness of what surrounded it.

The moon sank. The smoke grew thicker. I blinked, and she was gone. The four attendants too. Only the flowers remained—untouched, unstained, rooted in earth that should have been ash.

At dawn, when the officers returned with torches and the day’s excuses, they found me sitting beside the blossoms. I told them nothing. Some truths need soil and silence more than words.

I carry her still. Not her image—images fade—but the moment itself, caught behind the ribs like a splinter of light. That memory is my wound and my mercy both.

Because now I know this: even those made for killing can recognize beauty when it stands unafraid.
And once you’ve seen it—truly seen it—you carry it. Always.

Everything Must Go… Time Is Running Out

2025/11/05Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2113, life, mental health, The Daily's, writingLeave a comment

The Time Machine Files, Vol. 3

Depends. You selling or giving it away?

People love to talk about time like it’s a membership program — renewable, limited, and probably ad-supported.
“There’s not enough time in the day.”
“I wish I had more time.”
“Time just got away from me.”
We all say it. I’ve said it too.

The thing about time, though, is it’s always been the same amount since we started measuring it. The only thing that changes is us — or more precisely, how we try to package it.
We’ve gone from lunar calendars to solar calendars to whatever daylight-saving-time fever dream we’re still pretending makes sense. The problem isn’t time. It’s that we keep treating it like software that needs constant updates.

So naturally, someone’s going to say, “We just need to manage it better.”
Cue the parade of Day Runners, Franklin Coveys, and every other trendy organizer that promised to make us “more efficient.” We’ve become so efficient that people now have time to buy multiple organizing systems, compare them on YouTube, and make affiliate links ranking which one saves you more of your already wasted life.

So I wonder if the next big thing will be the ability to purchase time in blocks.
You know — “Now available in convenient six-hour increments!” Buy one, get a bonus fifteen minutes for self-care. Maybe throw in a loyalty program. Because nothing says progress like turning eternity into a subscription service.

They’ll probably call it something sleek and stupid, like Chrono+ or The Timely App.
“Reclaim your minutes!”
“Upgrade your life!”
“Don’t waste another second — for just $19.99 a month.”

(A bright, sterile retail space. Muzak hums in the background. A counter gleams beneath fluorescent lights.)

Sales Associate: Good evening, ma’am, can I help you?
Customer: Yes, I’d like to purchase a time block.
Sales Associate: Certainly. How much were you thinking?
Customer: Hmm… I’m not sure.
Sales Associate: We’re offering thirty percent off any blocks over ninety days, if that helps.
Customer: Really? Oh, Jeremy — stop that! Don’t put things in your mouth. What have I told you about putting things in your mouth? What is that? Spit it out! Right now, young man. Thank you.

(A pause. She straightens her coat, smiles politely.)
Customer: I’m so sorry, where were we? Oh, yes. I’ll take one ninety-day block and three one-hundred-twenty-day blocks. Time flies so fast — you can never be too careful.

And that’s exactly the problem.
We’ve turned time into a product, a project, and a panic attack — all rolled into one. You can color-code your planner, automate your calendar, and stack every “optimization hack” known to humankind.
You still can’t out-organize mortality.

Maybe the trick isn’t getting more time. Maybe it’s using the time you already have without acting like you’re auditioning for it.

So, do I need time?
Not really. I need less of it hanging over my head and more of it sitting quietly beside me — the kind that doesn’t come with notifications, countdowns, or motivational quotes.

If I ever finish the time machine, maybe I’ll try deleting the concept altogether. No deadlines, no clocks, no “you’re running late.” Just motion and memory. Just the sound of life moving forward without asking permission.

Until then, I’ll keep what I’ve got —
a half-wired machine,
a cup of cold coffee,
and a future still on backorder.

Daily writing prompt

Do you need time?

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Oh Look, Another Time Travel Question

2025/11/04Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2112, future, life, love, mental health, reflection, Snarky Puppy, The Daily's, time travel and writing, writing11 Comments

They asked what my life will be like in three years. I told them I’m still trying to figure out next Tuesday.

Some men build time machines. Others read about alien pods and synthetic sheep, hoping to understand what went wrong with the species. I do both — coffee optional, cynicism not.

Every time someone asks about the future, I picture a crowd of anxious humans trying to schedule the weather or negotiate with fate via Google Calendar. It’s adorable. Come here, let me pinch your cheek. Really—this obsession with pretending we’re in control. I’ve met potholes with a stronger sense of inevitability.

Three years from now, I’ll probably still be working on the time machine in my basement. People keep asking why. I tell them it’s cheaper than therapy and safer than dating apps. Besides, time travel makes more sense than “five-year plans.” At least with time travel, you accept the paradox. With planning, you just lie to yourself more efficiently.

So, keep endless scrolling and doing your TikTok dances. Because apparently no one needs cable anymore, and I suppose that makes you a public servant now. So—high five? What? Get away from me… weirdo.

In three years, I hope to have mastered the fine art of not giving a damn about metrics. Maybe I’ll finally stop apologizing for slow progress and start celebrating that I’m still moving at all. I might have fewer teeth, more coffee stains, and the same bad back—but I’ll also have more stories. And if that’s not progress, what is?

If the time machine works, I’ll visit future me just to see if I ever stopped procrastinating. My bet? Future me is standing in the same spot, muttering something about “calibration issues” and sipping cold coffee. If that’s the case, I’ll pat him on the shoulder, tell him he did fine, and leave him to his nonsense.

Because maybe that’s the secret: it’s not about what the future looks like. It’s about showing up for the weird present we’ve already got—even if the gears grind, the circuits smoke, and the timeline refuses to cooperate.

Because no one needs body snatchers—thank you, Jack Finney—or android replicas of Philip K. Dick. Be yourself. Live in the moment. Don’t be a pansy.

So, what will my life be like in three years?

Hopefully still under construction. Hopefully still mine.

And if the time machine’s finally working by then… I’ll let you know.

Daily writing prompt

What will your life be like in three years?

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International Chucklehead Day

2025/11/03Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2111, dark-humor, Fiction, humor, InternationalChuckleheadDay, life, short-story, The Daily's, writing5 Comments

No one remembers who started it. Probably someone who said something so catastrophically dumb that laughter was the only way to keep the world from collapsing in on itself. That’s the real magic of it — turning foolishness into fellowship.

Every year, on the first Friday of November, we celebrate the sacred art of not having it all together. A holiday for the half-aware, the overconfident, and the beautifully human.

There are rules to this madness, of course — because even fools need structure.

How to Celebrate:

Step 1: Confess Your Foolishness

Start the day by admitting your latest act of nonsense — the thing that made even your reflection sigh. Write it down on a scrap of paper. Don’t overthink it; the truth works best when it’s still raw.

Fold it up.

No name, no excuses.

Drop it into the Crowning Ceremony Drawing — a sacred bowl, coffee mug, or whatever container hasn’t been repurposed as an ashtray.

It’s not about shame. It’s about liberation — the moment you realize your worst mistake has become everyone’s favorite story.

Step 2: Craft the Crown

Tradition states that the previous year’s Chucklehead Supreme must craft the crown for the new one. It’s a sacred duty — part redemption arc, part creative punishment.

No two crowns should ever look alike. Some are wrapped in tinfoil and regret, others in duct tape and leftover wisdom. A few have been rumored to include receipts from bad decisions and one brave attempt at origami.

The important thing is effort. The crown must be made by hand and offered with the solemnity of someone who’s learned their lesson — or at least pretended to.

Step 3: Acts of Absurd Kindness

At some point during the day, pay someone a compliment so strange it bends their sense of reality for a second.

Say, “Your left eye is particularly dazzling today.”

Say it straight-faced. No grin, no flinch.

Pick a word you’d never use — dazzling, radiant, exquisite. The kind that belongs in perfume ads or embroidered pillows. Use it anyway. Because for one brief, shining moment, everyone deserves to be a little ridiculous.

Step 4: The 3 P.M. Chuckle Ritual

Wherever you are, tell the worst joke you know. No winners. No scoring. Just the shared sound of collective groaning to remind us that laughter, even bad laughter, is still holy.

When the last chuckle fades, everyone assembles for the Crowning Ceremony Drawing. The folded confessions are placed in the center — a bowl, a hat, or a leftover candy dish from last year’s failed diet.

One confession is drawn. One truth is read aloud.

And somewhere in the room, the new Chucklehead Supreme exhales and steps forward to claim their crown.

Step 5: Crown the Worthy

Present the handcrafted crown in a mock ceremony — bonus points for a kazoo processional or a slow clap that lasts slightly too long.

The new Chucklehead Supreme must wear it proudly until someone else out-chuckles them. It’s not a punishment. It’s an acknowledgment: you’ve officially joined the noble order of people brave enough to look foolish and laugh about it.

Step 6: For the Retired & the Wise

Same rules apply — only now the arena has changed. Gather your fellow retirees at your usual hangout: the diner, the park bench, the coffee shop that knows your order before you walk in.

Write down your foolishness on a napkin if that’s all you’ve got. Drop it in an empty sugar packet box. Tell the same bad joke you’ve told every week since ‘92.

Crown the winner, or the loser — depending on how you look at it — and raise your mugs in solidarity. Because time doesn’t make you immune to foolishness; it just gives you better material.

Why We Celebrate:

Because perfection is a myth sold by people who’ve never burned toast.

Because humility ages better than pride.

Because every one of us is a walking blooper reel trying to look composed in public.

And maybe because, after a lifetime of getting it wrong, I’ve learned the trick isn’t avoiding the fall — it’s learning to laugh when you hit the floor.

So pour your coffee. Wear your invisible crown. And remember: the world doesn’t fall apart when you screw up — it just becomes a little funnier.

Long live the Chuckleheads.

Author’s Note:

This piece was written in celebration of imperfection — the kind that keeps us honest, humble, and human. Somewhere out there, someone’s still wearing last year’s Crown of Cluelessness. If that’s you, your left eye is still dazzling.

Daily writing prompt

Invent a holiday! Explain how and why everyone should celebrate.

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Cigarettes and Coffee: The Sound of Staying Awake

2025/11/022025/11/02Posted in TunageTagged creative non-fiction, creative writing, daily exercise, Song Lyric Sunday, writing31 Comments

“It’s early in the morning / About a quarter to three…”

— Otis Redding

Nicotine stains my fingers, and there’s a coffee ring bleeding through the corner of my notebook. My shoulders ache — that familiar, loyal pain that’s been with me longer than most people. You get to that stopping point, the one where you promise yourself just one more thing so the mind can shut off without guilt or shame. Not that you’ve done anything wrong; it’s just the brain’s way of punishing ambition. You light up, take a sip, and the room hums like an overworked transformer. No bacon, no eggs — just the stench of being fried.

I’d been pulling an all-nighter, trying to wrestle systems into order before the next sunrise. Sleep wasn’t an option — at least that’s what I told myself, and once you start believing your own lies, they might as well be true. Somewhere around that blurred hour when the clock forgets which side of midnight it’s on, my wife came in with that look — half worry, half why in the hell aren’t you in bed next to me. The first two parts I could shrug off; the last one carried weight. She stood there, watched me for a moment, then went to put on a pot of coffee.

She was the wife of a soldier, so she knew the score. She didn’t like it much, but she knew it all the same. She looked at the clock and chuckled, that kind of laugh that carried both resignation and love.

“This is your theme song, right here,” she said. “Metal something — you’re always going on about it.”

“It’s Metallica, babe,” I said, “and the track is Am I Evil.”

She lit her own cigarette, slow and precise, the way she did everything that mattered. The smoke rose along the side of her face, curling like a slow dance with the light. One eye squinted through the haze as she looked my way — then in one easy breath, the smoke was gone.

“Shit, you say,” she replied, and I laughed — a small, grateful sound. The kind that breaks tension without fixing a thing. I took another sip of coffee. The bitterness hit just right, grounding me in that narrow space between exhaustion and clarity. Otis was still humming through the speakers, like an old friend keeping score of the hours we’d lost.

Otis Redding’s “Cigarettes and Coffee” came out in 1966, tucked into The Soul Album, a record overshadowed by his bigger hits. No stadium anthem here — just the quiet gospel of survival. The band plays soft, steady, respectful. Al Jackson Jr. keeps the drums whisper-thin, Duck Dunn anchors the bass like a heartbeat, and Steve Cropper’s guitar flickers in and out of the light.

It’s a sparse room of sound. You can almost smell the studio air — the tape reel humming, the smoke hanging low. Otis isn’t singing to anyone in particular. He’s talking to whoever’s still awake, whoever’s chasing purpose through fatigue.

“I’m sittin’ here talkin’ with my baby / Over cigarettes and coffee…”

That’s not romance. That’s ritual.

It’s the sound of two people trying to stay human when the night’s too long and the world’s too loud.

People love to say the sixties were a musical revolution. You hear it your whole life, like gospel. But you don’t really understand it until you’ve lived long enough to see how hype survives every generation. They didn’t have social media then, but they had slogans — peace signs, protest anthems, movements branded before they could breathe.

Today, the noise just comes in technicolor. Everything trending, nothing sticking. But Otis — he stuck. He already had his name etched in wax by the time this song landed, but “Cigarettes and Coffee” wasn’t for the spotlight. It was for the back room, the insomniacs, the men and women sitting at their own breaking points.

That’s what makes it timeless. It’s still talking about what we’re still living — the quiet wars we fight with ourselves, the long nights spent trying to hold it all together.

Every time I hear this track, something in me unclenches. It doesn’t lift me up — it settles me. Makes me honest. There’s a weight in Otis’s voice that feels like a man exhaling after carrying the world too long.

The song doesn’t fix anything; it just reminds you you’re not alone in the fixing. It says peace isn’t about rest — it’s about acceptance. The kind that comes when you’ve worked yourself down to silence and realize the silence feels sacred.

For a few minutes, I stop fighting the fatigue. My hands ache, my eyes burn, my shoulders protest, and somehow it all feels right. The song gives the exhaustion purpose. It turns the ache into evidence — proof that I’m still in motion.

That’s what makes it beautiful. Not joy. Recognition. The shared breath of the living tired.

Music provides the soundtrack of our lives — checkpoints across time, a kind of living mythos. We all move through the same years differently, but the songs mark us just the same. A verse here, a chorus there — little coordinates reminding us who we were before the noise got too loud.

It’s strange, isn’t it? Two people can walk side by side, hearing the same song, and still be living two entirely different truths. That’s the thing about music — it doesn’t belong to an era; it belongs to the listener.

That’s why Otis still matters. “Cigarettes and Coffee” isn’t nostalgia — it’s memory work. It’s here to keep us from forgetting what it feels like to be awake in the dark, searching for balance in the hum of a tired world.

Music is here so you don’t forget — how to feel, how to love, and how to weep. It’s a reminder that even in the long nights of rebuilding, there’s still rhythm left in the wreckage. And if you listen close enough, you might just hear yourself breathing in time with the song.

Pull Quote:

“It’s not a love song — it’s a mirror. A hymn for the living tired.”

Author’s Note:
This piece was written for Jim Adams’ Song Lyric Sunday challenge, where writers and music lovers gather each week to explore songs through memory, meaning, and emotion. This week’s theme — coffee or tea — led me back to one of Otis Redding’s quiet masterpieces, “Cigarettes and Coffee.” What started as a late-night listen turned into something more personal — a reflection on rebuilding, resilience, and the art of staying awake long enough to make sense of it all.

Delicious Lie

2025/11/022025/11/06Posted in Dispatches from the Splinters of My MindTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Dispatches, fantasy, Fiction, Fiction Series, life, short-story, writing7 Comments

Entry Ten: Dispatches from the Splinters of My Mind

An image-driven meditation on beauty, decay, and the quiet art of passing for alive.

White comes first. It always does. I dust the night from my face with a powder the color of absolution and tell the mirror a soft white lie: you are whole, you are warm, you belong to the day. The mirror nods like a priest who’s already decided my penance. I let him; he’s one of the few men who listens. The powder smells faintly of lilies and old hotel sheets—clean, practiced grief. It cakes where sweat used to live. Underneath, skin hums the slow song of bacteria doing what they do best: recycling hope. Purity photographs better that way. Besides, no one suspects the dead of good lighting.

The birds come next—two shards of sky trained to settle across my eyes. They know their marks like altar boys at a funeral mass: left wing grazing the brow, right wing cooling the cheekbone, claws light against the temple. Their feathers shine the blue of high altitudes where breathing is theory. Blue is the color of transcendence, or so the books say. In practice, it’s the color of numbing—detachment dressed for church. I didn’t choose them for beauty; I chose them for temperature control. They keep my expressions chilled, my thoughts neat, the heat from showing. They smell faintly of ozone and hairspray, like the backstage of heaven. I can feel the air around me losing interest.

I open my mouth. They tilt their heads, listening. They remember the rules better than I do. The first sound they stole was laughter—too spontaneous, too human. They took it the way crows take rings: quick, gleeful, final. The second was the small sigh I made each morning while practicing the art of appearing alive. By the third—my name said to no one—I understood that silence is a currency, and I was rich in withdrawal. I keep my tongue behind my teeth the way some people keep money in a Bible: near God, far from thieves. Sometimes I miss how a real word tastes—like pennies and possibility—but the birds look so proud of me when I behave.

Grey arrives without asking. It bleeds in through the window frame, through the paint I swore was dry, through the place in my chest where memory used to turn red at the edges. Grey is the hallway color, the corridor between rooms, a suspended breath that never quite chooses air. Days collect in it like lint. The birds blink in unison, blue against the grey, and the room looks like an old photograph waiting for a pulse that won’t come. I practice gestures of aliveness—a nod, a smile, a hand smoothing the same invisible wrinkle. It’s choreography learned from the living. The trick is to blink at correct intervals. Dead eyes give it away. I’ve learned to count my blinks like prayers; no one notices faith when it’s rhythmic.

They call what I do resilience. I call it advanced taxidermy. Everything soft stuffed with survival slogans and stitched closed with polite smiles. I stand upright, lips faintly glossed, eyes decoratively haunted. People nod, impressed. “You look great,” they say, and I do. Death, when moisturized, is surprisingly photogenic.

At night, when the light loses its discipline, the birds twitch. Their wings quiver like unspoken apologies. They hate uncertainty—it smells too much like life. I tell them to relax, that nothing here moves unless I schedule it. They don’t believe me. They can sense the old pulse under the floorboards, that stubborn animal rhythm I keep sedated. Sometimes, if I listen too hard, I hear it muttering: Still here, you fraud. Still beating in the dark.

Grey has personality now—kind of an accountant with a god complex. It tallies what I didn’t say, what I pretended not to feel, every emotional expense I tried to write off. I owe everything. I keep paying in composure. Some mornings the debt collector is the mirror; some mornings it’s the ache behind my jaw. Both smile as they itemize.

I remember warmth in flashes. A mouth that used to taste like smoke and sincerity. A day when laughter didn’t feel like theft. The red comes back in small riots—a pulse in the wrist, a fever under the tongue, a dream where color doesn’t apologize for itself. Red is the rude friend who won’t stop showing up uninvited. It whispers, You can still want, you know. I tell it to shut up. Wanting is expensive, and I’m already behind on my rent in reality.

There was a man once—there always is, because tragedy likes a good straight man. He said my quiet was “mystical.” I let him think that. No sense disappointing the audience. He kissed me like he was trying to wake me, poor thing. I let him. The living need their illusions too. When he left, I smiled so gently you’d never guess the birds were choking on the heat inside my mouth.

People assume silence means peace. It doesn’t. It’s just a better brand of noise—high-end, minimalist, with clean lines and no bass. Inside it, everything still screams; it just does so politely. That’s the delicious part of the lie: it tastes like calm if you chew slow enough.

Sometimes the rot gets ambitious. It stretches under my skin, flexing like it wants out. I tell it we have a reputation to maintain. “Decay,” I whisper, “but quietly. We’re professionals.” It listens, most days. When it doesn’t, I add more powder and a higher neckline. Elegance covers almost anything.

I’ve been congratulated for my strength so often I should invoice for it. People mean well—they always mean well—but their compliments sound like eulogies now. “You’re so composed.” “You’re such an inspiration.” They don’t know that composure is just rigor mortis doing ballet, that inspiration is what happens when exhaustion gets good lighting.

Tonight, the air tastes different. There’s something electric in it, the flavor of coming storms or confessions. The birds sense it, feathers rustling like gossip. Blue, once loyal, starts to falter—its chill turning translucent, its sanctity cracking at the seams. Underneath, a hint of red—raw, seditious—tries to breathe.

I stare at the mirror. It stares back, unimpressed. “How long can you keep this up?” it asks without moving its lips. “As long as it looks good,” I answer. We’ve had this conversation before. Neither of us ever wins.

Black waits behind everything, patient as gravity. Not malicious—just inevitable. It’s the color of what doesn’t flinch anymore. When I close my eyes, it hums like an engine. It’s not the absence of light; it’s the womb of it. Maybe that’s comforting. Maybe it’s just where truths go to compost.

The birds fidget. Their claws scrape skin, soft warnings. They know what’s coming. I’ve been thinking dangerous thoughts—words forming without permission, meanings unapproved by management. I can feel language waking up in my throat like an old addiction. I used to love words. They made me visible. Then they made me trouble.

“What happens if I speak?” I ask. My voice sounds foreign, like someone rearranged the vowels while I slept. The birds freeze, their blue fading to the dull of forgotten sky. One pecks at my brow, delicate threat. The other trembles near my cheek. For a moment, even they look tired of sanctity.

I touch their wings. They’re colder than honesty. “Shh,” I tell them. “It’s just a syllable. A small one.” I open my mouth, and something almost warm slips out—a sigh, maybe, or the ghost of laughter coming home. The sound isn’t pretty, but it’s real, and real is an endangered species around here.

The mirror blinks first. Always does. “Well,” it says in that judgmental silence only mirrors manage, “look who’s back.” I shrug. “Don’t get excited. I’m still dead; I’m just taking the scenic route.”

Color rearranges itself. White gives up pretending to be mercy. Blue goes transparent, embarrassed by its own chill. Grey loosens its tie. Red stretches like a cat finally acknowledged. Black opens one lazy eye and grins, proud parent of the mess.

I let the birds slide off, set them on the sill. They glare at me, little auditors of sin, and I swear I see envy in their beady eyes. “Go on,” I tell them. “Find someone holier.” They flutter away, leaving a faint scent of ozone and resignation.

The air without them feels indecently warm. I breathe it in. It tastes like pennies and possibility. The mirror, for once, doesn’t offer a verdict. Maybe it’s learning boundaries. Maybe I finally bored it into honesty.

Outside, the sky wears an honest blue—the kind that knows the ground exists and loves it anyway. I could try that. Tomorrow, maybe. Tonight, I’m just going to sit here, rotting politely, beautifully, honestly.

Author’s Note

Part of the Dispatches from the Splinters of My Mind series—image-driven fiction that explores the architecture of silence, self-performance, and the strange grace of decay.

Memoirs of Madness — When the inkwell weeps, I howl.

Do’s, Don’ts, and Dumbshit: A Brief Guide to Time Travel

2025/11/01Posted in The Daily'sTagged #aging, #time-travel, blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2109, life, mental health, The Daily's, Travel, writing2 Comments

Aging isn’t the problem — it’s the reruns. A tongue-in-cheek survival guide for anyone who’s ever looked back and thought, “What the hell was I thinking?”

Daily writing prompt
Is there an age or year of your life you would re-live?
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This could be an interesting question, depending on how you look at it.
If we’re talking about glory days—back before the gray, before the knees filed for early retirement, before hangovers started needing a recovery plan—then no thanks. I have no time for foolishness and even less to say on the matter.

But if we’re talking time travel—now you’ve got my attention.

I’ve mentioned before that I’ve been building a time machine in my basement. No one believes I’ll ever get the damn thing working. Their “lack of faith in the Force is disturbing.” One woman told me, “It’s not my lack of faith in the Force—it’s my lack of faith in time travel.” I rolled my eyes, of course. Time travel is real—just like dragons. What, don’t look at me in that tone of voice.

So, I decided it was necessary to create a short list of do’s and don’ts. Some of these should be obvious, but you and I both know humans are notorious for dumbshit. What follows is my rough draft of the guide.

Time Travel: A Practical Guide for the Chronologically Curious

Bring humility, not luggage. You can’t pack self-awareness into a carry-on, but it’s the only thing that makes the trip worth it.
Wave, don’t interfere. Watching your younger self screw up is part of the fun—it’s a rerun with better lighting.
Ask the questions you were too proud to ask back then. “What the hell were you thinking?” still counts.
Thank the ghosts. The people who left or broke you were part of the architecture that got you here.
Notice the details—the color of the room, your mother’s voice, the way your laughter used to sound before the world got louder.
Come home. Time travel’s a sightseeing tour, not a place to live.

DON’T

Don’t try to fix anything. You’ll only trade one regret for a newer, shinier model.
Don’t warn your younger self. That idiot needs to learn. You’re living proof they eventually did.
Don’t chase old flames. The girl who didn’t pay you attention the first time still doesn’t give a damn about your ass now.
Don’t drown in the what-ifs. That’s not nostalgia; that’s self-harm in prettier clothes.
Don’t justify your present by rewriting your past. If you’re lost, that’s on today’s version of you.
Don’t forget to bring back souvenirs—perspective, closure, forgiveness. They travel light but change everything.

Once I stop procrastinating and actually finish building the damn time machine, I wouldn’t use it to relive anything. I’d just visit long enough to remember that every mistake had a purpose and every joy had an expiration date. Then I’d come back, pour some coffee, and—I don’t know—maybe write my thoughts on a blog called Memoirs of Madness. Then get on with the business of living whatever version of now I’ve got left.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

The Price of Stolen Time

2025/10/31Posted in The Daily'sTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2108, history, The Daily's, writing6 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What historical event fascinates you the most?

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As a lifelong student of history, I’ve never been able to pull one event from the timeline and say, “This is my jam,” or “This right here—this is the shit.”

I’ve said it, of course. Probably said it too often. But none of them ever stick, because the truth is—it’s all the jam. Every revolution, every backroom betrayal, every random Tuesday that accidentally changed the world. History is the world’s longest mixtape, and it never skips a track.

I remember friends saying, “History’s boring.” Or worse, “So what?” I’d sit there thinking: You mean to tell me you can scroll for hours watching conspiracy podcasts and true-crime breakdowns, but a real story about an empire eating itself alive doesn’t do it for you?

History isn’t boring. It’s gossip that got serious—a mirror that never lies.

And sometimes, buried in the margins, there’s someone like Henrietta Wood.

Henrietta Wood wasn’t supposed to be remembered.

Born enslaved in Kentucky around 1818. Freed in 1848. Kidnapped back into slavery in 1853 by a man named Zebulon Ward—an opportunist who saw her freedom as a clerical error he could correct for profit.

He sold her into slavery in Mississippi and Texas. Twelve years gone.

Then emancipation came, and instead of fading quietly into “freedom,” she filed a lawsuit. Not a complaint. Not a plea. A bill.

In 1870, she sued Ward for $20,000 in federal court—a number so bold it had to make the room flinch. The trial dragged for eight years because that’s what the legal system does when it owes you something. In 1878, she won $2,500, the equivalent of about $65,000 today.

Ward paid.

Henrietta used the money to send her son to law school.

Tell me that’s not poetic symmetry.

She didn’t change the system. She cracked it—just enough to let the light in.

“Arthur H. Simms graduated law school in 1889, made his mark in Chicago—living proof that a mother’s lawsuit wasn’t just a story, but the starting gun for a lineage.”

Most people would’ve spent it fast, but Henrietta played a longer game.

She had principles and foresight in a time when most folks were just trying to breathe through the next day. Survival back then wasn’t a metaphor—it was the whole assignment.

She was awarded her money just after the crash of 1877, when the country was bleeding out from economic collapse and labor riots. Chaos in the streets. Blood on the rails. And in the middle of all that noise, there she was—a newly wealthy Black woman in America. By any measure, that was nothing short of miraculous.

She didn’t just win a case; she won proof that the system could be forced, however briefly, to recognize her humanity—

and the humanity we had fought for a hundred years earlier.

Just one year before her victory, Black people had officially become citizens under the Reconstruction Amendments. On paper, anyway. But the ink was still wet, and the promise hadn’t been delivered. Citizenship didn’t come with safety, or wealth, or power—it came with a target on your back.

It’s wild when you think about it: Lincoln said “four score and seven years ago” to define what America was supposed to mean, and here we were, a single score later, still trying to cash that promise. Henrietta Wood’s lawsuit was more than a demand for money—it was a demand for the score to finally be settled.

But history doesn’t balance its books that easily. Her win was a down payment, not a clean ledger.

Nearly five full scores—ninety-five years—passed between the ratification of the 14th Amendment in 1868, which declared Black people citizens, and the 24th in 1964, which finally said they could vote without paying for the privilege. Ninety-five years between being written into the Constitution and being let into the booth. That’s not progress; that’s a slow bleed dressed up as democracy.

And that’s what makes Henrietta Wood’s victory so damn profound. She didn’t wait for the Constitution to catch up. She didn’t wait for permission. In a time when her citizenship was still a technicality and her humanity was a debate; she walked into a courtroom and forced the system to do what the law had promised but hadn’t yet learned how to deliver—recognize her.

The same law they had fought and bled for before they were even citizens. Before the ink on the 14th Amendment, before the word freedom stopped needing quotation marks. Henrietta stood on that battlefield of paperwork and principle and made the country do what the statue in the bay only claimed to represent.

She settled her own score nearly a century before the nation even realized the debt existed.

That’s why I study history. That’s why I never found it boring. Because every century, every headline, every name carved into stone is part of the same damn argument about who gets to be human and who gets to send the bill.

Henrietta Wood didn’t just win money—she won meaning. She took the same law they fought and bled for before they were even citizens, and she made it do what the statue in the bay only pretends to: stand for liberty, not theater. She didn’t ask for mercy. She demanded math.

And that’s what history really is—math written in blood and ink. Every generation adds up what the last one promised, and we’re still carrying the remainder.

So when people tell me, “History’s over,” I just laugh. The score’s not settled. Somewhere between 1868 and now—between Henrietta’s courthouse and that statue still holding her torch over borrowed water—the light keeps flickering like a warning.

What did Led Zeppelin say? “The Song Remains the Same.”

That’s the jam. Every damn time.

Author’s Note

I love history. So much that I’m building an entire website for it—and for everything else that refuses to be forgotten.

We make history in every breath we take. Every choice, every fight, every story that doesn’t get told.

How in the hell can that ever be boring?

No Cheap Shit

2025/10/30Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2107, family, life, love, The Daily's, writing4 Comments

The Lab’s gone quiet tonight. Just me, a dead desktop, and the taste of old regret. Turns out, every shortcut comes with a bill — and this time, I paid in time I can’t get back.

Daily writing prompt

What’s something you believe everyone should know.

View all responses

NO CHEAP SHIT.
That’s my one rule in the Lab — the hill I’ll die on — and the one I just broke.

The glow of the screen paints my hands in soft blue light. LibreOffice hums open, and for a second it’s like stepping through time. The last time I used this suite, it was still called OpenOffice — back when nobody could afford Microsoft, and we were all running on hope and cracked CDs. I remember the word-processor wars: Lotus 1-2-3, WordPerfect, Microsoft Word. That was the golden age of making do, when half the job was convincing old machines not to die mid-save.

I’ve been thinking about all that because today I pulled a machine out of rotation. She’s sitting on the shelf now, waiting to be stripped for parts — fans still warm, power light still pulsing like a heartbeat. She’s only a few years old, but she never earned her keep. Truth is, I knew better the day I bought her.

I broke my own rule.

See, when it comes to my Lab, I don’t buy cheap — I buy right. I wait. I build machines meant to last longer than the mood I’m in. Every four or five years, I rebuild. Every eight, I start from scratch. Even the retired ones still hum like old blues records — tired but proud. One of my boys calls dibs early every cycle. Says, “Your shit be like new.”

But this one? I knew she was weak from the start. My editor warned me, and I said the four dumbest words in my vocabulary: “It’ll get me by.” She sighed — that kind of sigh that comes from knowing a man who refuses to learn the easy way. My late wife used to give me the same look.

She’d drag me through electronics aisles, make me put back laptops like they were bad decisions with price tags. “You don’t buy tools,” she’d say. “You buy time.” And she was right.

Cutting corners never saves you anything — not in money, not in effort, not in peace. It just delays the reckoning.

That off-the-rack desktop was only the second prebuilt I’d owned in forty years. First night I had it, I was already cussing under my breath. Adobe CC lagged, the fan howled, and I called tech support just to have someone to blame. Yeah — I was that guy.

Now here I am, working on a ten-year-old laptop running Linux, and she’s humming like a jazz trio at midnight. Ten years old and still moving smooth because I built her right, upgraded her right, respected her limits. Forty-eight hours into a fresh burn-in and not a single stutter.

So here’s what I believe everyone should know: don’t cut corners.
Not on your machines. Not on your craft. Not on your life.

The easy route always comes back around to collect its fee.
Because the hardest thing you’ll ever have to do in life — is the right thing.
And doing the right thing almost always takes longer, costs more, and hurts like hell in the moment.

But it lasts.

Nothing worth a damn comes easy.

Buy the right tools. Take the time to build things that endure.
Because when you cheat the process, you’re not saving time — you’re stealing it from your future self.

And time’s the only thing the Lab can’t rebuild.

Forged from an Old Soul

2025/10/28Posted in ProseTagged creative writing, daily exercise, FOWC, Ink and Wounds, writingLeave a comment

He wasn’t born lucky. Nobody handed him a map.
He learned early that some of us come into this world half-built, and the rest is on us.
So he carved his name into time, steady and deliberate — a slow rebellion written in scars.

The city didn’t raise him. It tolerated him.
Concrete and glass can’t teach you much, but they’ll listen if you bleed honest enough.
He made peace with that kind of silence — the kind that hums between streetlights and memory.

There was a facility once — a place that smelled like rust, regret, and second chances.
He wasn’t supposed to be there, but he stayed.
Sometimes, a man doesn’t need comfort — he needs a place where the noise inside his head finally echoes back.
In that echo, he found rhythm. In rhythm, he found himself.
No blueprints. No saviors. Just repetition.
Each motion a prayer, each mistake a gospel of survival.

He doesn’t worship. He works.
He doesn’t beg. He endures.
And if you ask what drives him, he’ll tell you the truth —
it’s not pride or anger, not anymore. It’s the memory of a boy who promised a broken world he’d walk out standing.

Half in shadow.
Half in light.
All his.

The Draft (working title)

2025/10/27Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, flash fiction, life, short-story, Splinters, writingLeave a comment

The ticking from the clock on the wall beat like a hammer against a concrete block—dust and debris flying, and every now and again a spark. That was my writing tonight. I had a head full of ideas but nothing with any heat. Then I heard something slide under the door. I froze for a second, thinking it might be the landlord bringing that “good news”—you know, thirty days and then it’s the bricks. But I remembered I’d caught that gig upstate with those high-class folks who wouldn’t know the blues if it hit them in the face, so I was good.

I walked to the door and looked down the hallway. Nothing. Then I saw Woodrow—the rat—gnawing on something. He paused long enough to size me up, then went back to work. I didn’t have the energy to do anything about it, and he knew it. Ms. Pearl, the neighbor’s tabby, slipped in through the gap and rubbed against my leg. I let her stay. Gave her some kibble, then hopped up on the edge of my desk. The page sat there, daring me to write something.

Someone once told me that’s how it starts: just sit in front of the typewriter and speak. Never worry about what you’re going to say; that part works itself out. Just don’t bitch out and you’ll be fine. Lamont Norman said that the day I bought his suitcase Royal typewriter. I laughed, thought he was kidding. He didn’t even smile. “I bitched out,” he said. “Good luck.” That was years ago. The typewriter’s still here—metal scarred, keys sticking like old grudges. I keep waiting for it to start talking first.

That’s when I noticed the envelope. Plain white. No stamp, no handwriting—just my name in black ink that bled a little, like the paper had been sweating. Inside: You are invited to The Draft. Midnight. The Double Down Tavern. That was it. No signature. No RSVP.

I laughed anyway. It sounded like something a drunk poet would dream up at closing time, but I stared at it longer than I should’ve. By eleven-thirty, I was tuning the Gibson, putting on the least-dirty shirt I owned, telling myself I wasn’t going. By midnight, I was already halfway there.

The Double Down? I’d heard of the place, but no one I knew had ever been there, and certainly nobody knew how to get there. It was one of those names that floated around in late-night stories—half joke, half rumor—always mentioned right before the bottle ran dry. I went down to the bodega on the corner for a pack of Luckies and to ask Mr. Park about it. Mr. Park knew everything worth knowing in this neighborhood: who owed rent, who got locked up, who was sleeping with whom.

But tonight he wasn’t there.

I can’t remember the last time I’d walked into that store and not seen him behind the counter, sitting on his stool, eyes glued to that little portable TV wrapped in enough tin foil to bake a potato. When the picture went fuzzy, he’d rap the side with his knuckles, nod, and mutter, “Everything just needs a good tap now and then.” The sound of that tap was part of the neighborhood’s heartbeat. Without it, the place felt wrong, too quiet, like the air had skipped a beat.

There was this strange woman behind the counter, somebody I’d never seen before, popping her gum slow. Who the hell pops gum slow? She didn’t even look at me when I asked for a pack of Luckies. Just slid them across the counter like she was bored of gravity. I decided to go for broke.

“Hey, you wouldn’t know how to get to the Double Down, by chance?”

She didn’t answer, just stepped out of sight for a second. When she came back, she slid a folded piece of paper across the counter. No words, no smile.

I opened it. It was an address. Nothing else.

I turned and walked out of the store, paper in one hand, cigarettes in the other. Halfway through the door, I looked back to thank her. She nodded without looking up, eyes still fixed on something only she could see. But in the glass of the door, I caught her reflection—and for half a heartbeat, I could swear her eyes were sparkling. Not with light. With recognition.

The address on the paper looked ordinary enough—just a number, a street I didn’t recognize. I lit a Lucky, watched the smoke coil off the end, and decided to walk. It wasn’t far, according to the city grid, but the grid had a habit of lying after midnight.

The streets were half empty, half asleep. A drunk kid laughed at a joke nobody told. A siren moaned somewhere uptown, fading slow like a horn section dying out. My shoes echoed too loud on the sidewalk; even the sound seemed to flinch.

I passed storefronts I swear I’d never seen before: a pawnshop that sold only typewriters, a record store where every sleeve in the window was blank white, a barber shop with a red neon sign that read OPEN but no reflection in the mirror.

The farther I went, the fewer streetlights there were. The city felt like it was backing away, leaving me to walk inside its ribs. I checked the paper again. The ink shimmered faintly, as if wet, and I realized I wasn’t reading a map—I was being led.

As I got close to the address, a drunk staggered out of the shadows and poked me in the chest. “Whatcha doin’?” he slurred, eyes glassy and mean. “You think you ready?”

I didn’t answer.

“You?” he barked again, then broke into laughter—loud, jagged, wrong. I pushed past him and kept walking, but when I looked back, the sidewalk was empty. The laughter stayed, close, right beside my ear.

I stopped cold, heart hammering. Took another drag of my straight, exhaled slow. When the smoke cleared, I turned toward the street—and there it was, standing where the map said nothing should be.

The Double Down.

The door didn’t look like much—just wood and paint tired of each other—but the air around it hummed like a bass string. I could feel the groove before I heard it. Slow twelve-bar, heavy on the bottom end, something that could drag your sins across the floor till they begged for mercy.

I grabbed the handle. The damn thing was warm. When it opened, the sound hit me full in the chest—smoke, whiskey, perfume, electricity—all of it moving to the same beat. The door sighed shut behind me like it had been waiting to breathe again.

Inside, the room stretched wider than geometry allows. Corners bent. Shadows leaned the wrong way. Tables sweated rings from drinks poured before I was born. Every light was gold, every bottle looked like it had a soul trapped inside praying for one last round.

The crowd was a mix of then and now: drunks in denim, poets in funeral suits, a few specters in clothes older than jazz. One cat had a typewriter balanced on his knees, keys twitching on their own. Another wore a fedora that flickered in and out like a bad reception. Every time I looked straight at him, the air shimmered.

Behind the bar stood a woman with silver hair and a stare that could sand wood. She polished a glass that was already clean. The jukebox switched gears—Howlin’ Wolf growling through busted speakers—and the floorboards started to tap back.

I took a seat near the door, playing it cool. The bartender poured something the color of regret and set it in front of me.

“On the house,” she said, voice smooth as gin and twice as dangerous.

I looked around. At the back, a stage the size of a confession booth glowed red. A man sat there, guitar in his lap, fingers resting easy like he’d been born holding it. He didn’t play; he just watched me. Smile sharp enough to slice a chord.

“Place got a name?” I asked.

She half-smiled. “You tell me.”

The drink burned good going down—smoke and sugar and bad decisions. I blinked, and the room changed. Every face turned my way. No talking, no movement, just the weight of attention pressing down.

Then a man in a white suit stood by the jukebox and tapped his glass. The sound cracked the silence like a snare drum.

“Welcome,” he said, voice rolling through the room slow and mean. “Welcome to the Draft.”

The crowd answered with a low hum that crawled up my spine.

I could see there were a few guys like me who didn’t have a clue what the hell was going on. Then there were the ones who thought they did—scribblers with confidence and cologne, already imagining the book deals. I knew that breed. They never last. If it wasn’t so funny, it would’ve been tragic, but instead it was just pathetic.

The muses began to move—slow, gliding, half smoke, half skin. Each one shined in its own color. The room buzzed like a hive. They touched foreheads, whispered, and kissed some poor souls right on the mouth. Wherever they touched, something happened: laughter, sobbing, a glow under the skin.

Names were called. Not mine.

One by one, the seats around me emptied. The writers who’d been chosen vanished, or maybe just slipped sideways out of time. The unlucky ones sat frozen, pretending it didn’t matter, staring into their drinks like they could find meaning in the ice.

I kept my eyes down. The drink had gone warm.

A man near the jukebox started laughing too loudly. “Didn’t get the call, did ya?” he said to no one. “Guess you’ll be writing grocery lists now.” His laughter spread, nervous, contagious.

I waited. Nothing. No muse came my way.

The smug ones still sat upright, chins lifted, waiting to be crowned. I’d seen that look before at open mics and literary festivals—the face of somebody convinced the universe owed them a round of applause.

If it hadn’t been so funny, it would’ve been tragic. But right then, it just felt pathetic.

A thin, cold panic crawled up my spine. I was the last fool at the table. The muses had moved on. The man in white was clinking his glass again, ready to close the show.

I told myself I didn’t care. I told myself I’d been through worse. But I felt hollow—like a joke everyone else was in on.

I couldn’t believe this shit. I didn’t even know what The Draft was until an hour ago, and now it was already over. I didn’t get picked. Harry Lucas gets the nod? What the hell is going on?

To add insult to injury—Terry Best. Terry damn Best. Man hasn’t written a line worth reading since the Carter administration, and suddenly he’s chosen? Harry and I carried that sorry bastard for years. I’m jealous, sure. Harry’s good—better than I’ll ever admit out loud—but still, it stings.

“Congrats, you lucky fuck,” I muttered, raising my glass to no one. The drink burned all the way down, a reminder that some fires don’t keep you warm; they just scar you.

The room was thinning out. The chosen ones disappeared into the smoke with their shiny new partners. The rest sat there staring at the bar like it might offer consolation. Nobody spoke. The music died, the hum faded. For the first time all night, the silence had weight.

That’s when the folded piece of paper slid across the counter, slow and deliberate.

No one was near me. Nobody close enough to reach.

I hesitated, then picked it up. The paper smelled faintly of cigar smoke and cheap lipstick.

I unfolded it. Two words written in lipstick.

END

Mercy Street

2025/10/27Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, short-story, The Seven Day Mile, writingLeave a comment

A Seven Day Mile Story

Neon hummed like a migraine that wouldn’t quit, the kind that sits behind your eyes and waits for you to flinch. Rain slicked the street in lazy sheets, turning the city into a mirror that didn’t want to see itself.

He sat in the car, engine off, watching moths bump into the streetlights over and over—addicted to pain or maybe just tormented by the routine. They couldn’t help it. Neither could he. The radio crackled; he’d forgotten it was even on.

He waited for the speakers to spit louder. Voices chased one another, desperation disguised as competence. No one was fooled, but they were all too polite to say otherwise—the kind of manners born of dread and regret. He popped a couple of Rolaids into his mouth, chewed, then swallowed without a chaser.

The moths chased one another. Were they playing? Children, maybe—the streetlamp their merry-go-round. The thought made him laugh once, sharp and dry, before the static swallowed it.

A mess of transmissions blurred together, dispatch calls bleeding into the wheeze of cheap speakers. Mostly noise: arguments, false alarms, ghosts trying to sound important. Then one word cut through the distortion—Rogue.

He didn’t move. Just reached for the half-crushed pack in the cup holder, thumbed a smoke free, and watched the rain carve faint scars across the glass. He flicked his thumbnail against the wooden match, let the light burn a moment before touching it to the cigarette. The first drag went deep; he held it there, letting the nicotine do its job.

“Always the good ones that break first,” he muttered, though he wasn’t sure if he meant her or himself.

The cigarette burned low, ash clinging stubbornly to the tip. He cracked the window just enough for the wind to take it. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, leaving the air thick with metal and wet concrete.
Raindrops caught the streetlight like cheap diamonds. Down the street, a siren came to life, and a dog sounded its alarm on the opposite side. Windows lit up—shadows of witnesses who’d never seen a thing. It was safer that way. They just let the Night play.

He turned the key halfway and let the dashboard flicker to life. The radio hissed again—fragments this time, coordinates maybe, or names swallowed by static.

“Thunder Island” perforated the silence. He wondered if a place like that even existed. He turned down the car radio and turned up the police band. Nothing is more dangerous than being the target of someone looking for something. They rush in, do things they can’t take back. Then they have the nerve to say they’re sorry—and worse, there are tears. Even worse, they actually mean it, and spend the rest of their lives shattered.

He didn’t bother writing anything down. Whoever was still talking wasn’t talking to him.

He leaned back, the seat creaking under his weight, and watched smoke crawl toward the open window. He told himself it was time to move, but his body didn’t buy it. There was a comfort in the stall, in pretending the world would wait for him to catch up.

When the transmission finally cleared, the voice was colder, official—clipped consonants, no room for mercy. A woman’s voice, maybe. The kind that used to mean something.

“Target confirmed. Proceed with caution.”

He took one last drag, killed the radio. The smoke burned; his eyes began to water as he started the vehicle. That deep rumble of the police interceptor always brought him joy. Agents were supposed to turn in the old cars years ago, but he and the motor sergeant had history—the kind that stands a lifetime without a single word needing to be said. The kind no one questions, because you wouldn’t like the answers.

He let the engine idle a moment, lights off, watching the rain bead and slide down the hood. Then he shifted into gear and rolled into the dark.

The rain washed the streets, but they’d never come clean. Too much poverty in the cracks, too much sorrow in the gutters, and just enough hope to make it cruel. Everyone still wanted everything—guilt, happiness, grace.

At a red light he watched a man curse his demons. He didn’t see them, but he knew they were there all the same. His own had a permanent seat beside him, rain or shine.

At the next light, a woman staggered down the block, stopped, and threw up her dinner—or breakfast, hard to tell at this hour. She braced herself on her knees, took a breath, and sat right there on the sidewalk. Wiped her mouth with her sleeve like it was just another thing to get through.

The wipers dragged across the glass with the sound of bones under cloth. He kept the lights off until he turned onto a narrower road, the kind the city forgot about except when it needed somewhere to dump its secrets.

The address came from memory. He didn’t need to check it; some places get branded into you like scars. The building looked smaller now, windows boarded up, the brick dark with age and rain. A single light glowed in the hallway upstairs—thin, yellow, and nervous.

He parked across the street, engine idling low. The smell of exhaust and damp asphalt mixed with whatever passed for courage. He sat there a long moment, thumb worrying the cigarette burn in the steering wheel, thinking about the last time he’d seen her face.

Not that it mattered. The past was a closed room; this was just cleanup duty.

He slipped the car into park, checked the glove box for the piece he never quite admitted carrying. He never liked the man he needed to be when he carried. There was a click as he fastened the sidearm in its holster. His boots and the wet pavement had a brief disagreement.

The rain had started again, softer now, whispering against his collar.

By the time he reached the door, the light upstairs was gone.

The hallway reeked of urine, stale beer, and mildew—the ghosts of the unspoken past everyone tries to forget but never does. The farther he went down the corridor, the more the aroma changed. He wished it hadn’t.

Wallpaper peeled in long curls like it was trying to escape the situation. The ceiling light flickered, revealing the old scabs beneath the peels. Even the walls were wounded.

He moved slowly, letting his boots announce him—no point sneaking when everyone in the building already knew the sound of trouble. He hoped these ghosts and his demons would play nice. He hoped he wasn’t too late, but he feared the damage had already been done. The only thing left was to manage it.

A door creaked somewhere up ahead. He stopped, listened. Nothing but the groan of pipes and the faint hum of rain slipping through the ceiling. Then a floorboard gave—deliberate, weighted.

He slid along the wall until the narrow window gave him a slice of the alley out back. A figure stood there, half in shadow, a hood pulled low. Not moving, just waiting.

He exhaled through his nose. Always the same dance—the waiting, the pretending nobody had to bleed tonight.

The back door stuck before it opened, metal swollen from the damp. He stepped out into the alley, smelling of trash and rain thick as old coffee. The figure turned, slow and calm, hands visible but empty.

“You came alone,” the voice said.

He almost smiled. “That’s what I do best.”

The silence stretched, tight enough to hum.

Rain hissed against the dumpster, each drop a small explosion in the puddles. The alley light above them buzzed and died, leaving the world painted in shadow and breath.

He kept his hands visible. No need to startle a ghost with old habits. The figure’s hood fell back just enough for him to see the face—tired, older, eyes like a mirror that didn’t want to reflect him.

“You shouldn’t have come,” the voice said.

“Maybe not,” he answered. “But I never was good at staying gone.”

She—or maybe it was just the shape of what she’d become—tilted her head, rain streaking down her cheek like sweat.

“They said you sold me out.”

He took a slow breath, the kind meant to buy time, not truth.
“You know better.”

She stepped closer. Close enough for him to smell the rain in her hair, the metal tang of adrenaline.

“Tell me it’s not true.”

He looked past her, at the alley mouth where light threatened to crawl in.
“Seriously? When did you start believing dumbshit?”

The silence that followed was heavier than the rain. She didn’t lower the gun, but her hand shook just enough to show the years between them.

“You always did know how to ruin a moment,” she said.

He almost smiled. “Guess some things don’t fade.”

The safety clicked off—soft, final.

Author’s Note:
Today’s plan is simple — celebrate a friend who’s been the steady hand behind the chaos.
It’s my editor’s birthday (yeah, a little late — story of my life), and she’s the reason this machine keeps running when I’m ready to set it on fire.

She spent her day listening to me whining about rebuilding the Lab, cleaning up code, catching my typos, and quietly holding everything together. That’s how she works — no spotlight, no noise, just precision and patience.

So this one’s for her. She hasn’t read Mercy Street yet — but she’s in it. Not by name, but in every line that holds restraint where rage should be, in every small mercy that refuses to die.

And since it’s her birthday, I’ll be posting a few extra stories — wouldn’t want her thinking she’s getting off easy or anything.

Happy belated birthday, Editor Extraordinaire.
Here’s to late nights, clean drafts, and the kind of loyalty that never asks for applause.

Guppy, Mojo, and Does Anybody Have a Cigarette?

2025/10/25Posted in ProseTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Fiction, life, love, Random Thoughts, writing11 Comments

(Memoirs of Madness — Return Post)

When my system went down, it seemed like divine intervention—a forced pause. I took the chance to stop fighting the noise and reset my creative energy.

I sat there for a minute, half expecting the room to fill with people saying, “We’re here because we love and care about you. We’re worried. You don’t seem okay.”
Instead, it was just me—and Guppy, staring like she’d seen this movie before.
I muttered my customary “Kick Rocks,” and she gave me that look:
“What’s going on with you, human? Pet me. Feed me. Clean my poop.”

Fair enough.

And because the universe clearly thought I needed a little more chaos, I decided to quit smoking. Yep, that was a moment of brilliance right there, buddy.
I can’t remember the last time I built a machine, wrote a line, or rewired a circuit without a cigarette hanging from my lips or burning down in the ashtray. The old routine: light another while one’s already smoldering, forget which is which, call it inspiration.
Now I’m in the cut back phase. Pray for me, light a candle, or call a hoodoo man to lay down some mojo—I can use all the help I can get.

Somewhere in the middle of all that nicotine withdrawal and digital resurrection, I pulled up the storyboard and looked at the mess. Dozens of storylines—some finished, most not. I decided it was time to clean house.
So I’m finishing what I started. Focusing on the long fiction threads and promising myself that from here on, quality comes first. The foundation’s solid, but there’s still plenty of building to do.

You’ve all been patient, loyal, and willing to walk through my corridors of madness while I rebuild piece by piece. You deserve the best I’ve got—and that’s exactly what’s coming.

I suppose I should be pulling my hair out… wait, I’m bald—so I’m good.

When the Milk Crate Was the Cloud

2025/10/24Posted in ProseTagged #Creativity, #Mindset, #Rebuilding, #resilience, #SelfSufficiency, creative writing, daily exercise, healing, life, mental health, Random Thoughts, writing4 Comments

Understanding begins where the noise ends.

“The cracks are where the future gets in.” — Nick Cave

Earlier this week, I wrote about dealing with multiple system failures — digital, emotional, creative. The kind of breakdown that makes everything feel heavier. Every keystroke. Every thought.

I couldn’t even open a text editor without feeling like the machine and I were daring each other to quit first.

So, I did what any rational person does when their world starts flickering — I tore it down.

Every wire. Every drive. Every application.

I started looking at everything — the hardware, the software, even the mental clutter I’d built around them. And I started cutting. To borrow a writer’s term, I’ve been killing my darlings. Not just the old drafts and half-finished files, but the stuff I’d been keeping out of sentiment — tools I didn’t use, folders I hadn’t opened since the Obama years, plans I wasn’t brave enough to admit were dead.

It’s strange, what survives a purge. The things you thought mattered crumble under scrutiny, while the quiet essentials — the things that actually serve you — emerge stronger, cleaner.

That’s when it hit me: maybe this isn’t just about computers. Maybe it’s about life architecture.

The Breakdown Phase

Sometimes the system has to fail so you’ll finally stop pretending it’s fine.

When the screens went dark, it wasn’t just technology collapsing — it was me running into the edge of my own maintenance backlog. You know the one: the projects, bills, and habits that pile up in the background while you tell yourself you’ll “get to it.”

Then, one day, everything gets to you instead.

But here’s the gift buried in the crash — it forces you to re-evaluate everything. To sit in the silence after the hum fades and ask: what’s still necessary? what’s still mine?

Back When We Built Our Own Fixes

I come from a time when computers didn’t “just work.” You had to earn them.

You didn’t buy plug-and-play — you built plug-and-hope. You traded parts out of milk crates, scribbled command lines in pencil, and held your breath during the boot beep because you weren’t sure if the whole thing would smoke or sing.

We understood our machines because we had to.*

There was intimacy in it — a relationship between curiosity and consequence. You learned to think like a system, to troubleshoot your way through the mess.

Now everything’s sealed, optimized, “user-friendly.” But friendly to whom?

The less we have to know, the less we understand. And when we stop understanding, we lose something fundamental — the muscle memory of resilience.

We used to break things and fix them.
Now we just replace them and complain.

The Rebuild

So I went back to basics.

I started rebuilding my system piece by piece, checking every connection, testing every drive. And as I did, I realized this wasn’t just a technical reset — it was a personal audit.

I’ve been doing the same thing with my finances: cutting unnecessary subscriptions, auditing expenses, trimming the fat. I’m tired of auto-renewed everything — the digital equivalent of dust.

Same with my creativity. If a tool doesn’t serve the work, it’s gone. No more chasing new apps, new aesthetics, new noise. I’m rebuilding for efficiency, not ego.

There’s a strange peace in it — this deliberate stripping away. It reminds me that clarity isn’t something you download. It’s something you earn, line by line, dollar by dollar, decision by decision.

The System and the Self

The truth is, we’re not that different from the machines we build.

We run on energy and memory. We slow down when cluttered. We crash when overheated.
And sometimes, the only way forward is to reformat.

But unlike machines, we get to choose how we rebuild.
We decide what stays. We define what’s worth running.

This whole process — the wires, the drives, the self-audits — it isn’t about perfection. It’s about understanding. I don’t need things to run flawlessly. I just need them to make sense.

Keep Going, Responsibly

Here’s the part nobody romanticizes: rebuilding is exhausting. It’s unglamorous. It’s long hours, slow progress, and endless testing.

But it’s also the only way to ensure what you’re building can stand on its own.

Sometimes you have to keep going — not because it’s easy, but because stopping would mean accepting confusion as normal.

I’ve learned that keep going doesn’t mean sprinting through burnout. It means moving with intention.
It means knowing when to step back, when to unplug, when to rewrite the damn script.

Because in life — just like in code — the smallest syntax errors can wreck the whole thing if you never stop to look.

“Sometimes you just have to keep walking, even if the map burned up a few miles back.” — Unknown

Author’s Note

Patience is a kind of engineering.
You learn it by failing, by pausing, by realizing not everything needs to be fixed immediately.

Lately, I’ve been reminding myself that understanding — real understanding — takes time. Systems crash. People do too. What matters is how we rebuild, not how fast.

So if you’re in one of those messy seasons — where every wire feels tangled and every drive hums with static — breathe. Slow down. Learn your system before you rewrite it.

You’ll get there. Just not all at once.

By Its Light

2025/10/21Posted in SplintersTagged creative writing, daily exercise, family, Fiction, flash fiction, FSS, Grief, life, love, Resilience, Splinters, writing18 Comments

We learn to live with death the same way we read by firelight—slowly, painfully, beautifully.

No one prepares you for the feeling of loving something that Death has touched.

I sit here looking around his cabin—now mine. The air smells of pine sap, old smoke, and the faint tang of whiskey soaked into the floorboards. Dust floats through the thin light that leaks between the curtains. Each corner is stacked with books—subjects as varied as anatomy and jazz theory. A shelf of vinyl lines the far wall: Coltrane, Bessie Smith, Robert Johnson. Then, tucked behind them, a few heavy metal records—Sabbath, Maiden, Priest. My father, it seems, was a closet metalhead. I smile at that. Maybe I inherited more from him than just a pulse: the music, the books, the need to understand the noise inside.

Warmth slides down my cheeks before I realize I’m crying. The tears catch the scent of dust and woodsmoke, grounding me. I never knew him growing up. He and my mother had a moment in their teens—one of those sparks people mistake for destiny before life smothers it with reason. She was in law school; he was home on leave from the Army. They met at a party through a mutual friend, made promises under a drunk moon, and a week later, he shipped out. Nine months later—technically ten, if you’re counting the way we do in obstetrics—I arrived.

I became a doctor partly to make sense of what my mother wouldn’t talk about: biology, infection, the way life insists on being messy no matter how sterile you keep your hands. That’s where I met my father—though I didn’t know it then.

He came into the ER after an accident. I was covering trauma, running late for my weekly lunch with Mom. She’s a federal judge now, but every Thursday we make time—just an hour to remember we’re still mother and daughter, not just professionals orbiting duty.

When I finally reached the ER, Mom was already there. She’d come looking for me, irritation etched into her face. But as I began to explain, she froze. Her gaze fixed on the patient lying in bed—multiple fractures, head laceration, vitals unstable but holding. The antiseptic smell and hum of monitors felt suddenly foreign, like I’d stepped out of my own body.

“Mom?” I asked.

She stepped closer to the bed. Her hand rose to her mouth, and for the first time in my life, I saw her cry. Real tears—silent, unstoppable. She reached out, caressed the man’s forehead, her fingers trembling like someone touching a ghost.

“Mom, what’s going on? Do you know him?”

She didn’t answer. Just kept tracing the lines of his face, as if memory might come alive under her touch.

“Mom!”

Finally, she turned toward me, her voice steady but low.
“He’s your father.”

Then she pulled a chair to his bedside, sat down, and called her clerk to clear her docket.

My chest tightened. My legs went weak. I recognized the physiology even as it overtook me—tachycardia, dizziness, shallow breath. I nearly hit the floor before someone caught me.
Carol—my charge nurse, my right hand for ten years. A skinny little thing, but deceptively strong.

We weren’t just colleagues. We were friends.

“Sue, what’s going on?” she asked, her voice sharp with command. I heard her barking orders, but the words blurred into static. The next thing I knew, I was staring at a white ceiling, the steady beep of a monitor tracing the edge of my humiliation.

I tried to sit up—irritated beyond measure—but Carol pushed me back down with one hand. For such a small woman, she was a brick wall.

“Pilates?” I asked, breathless, trying to find my bearings.

She grinned, pouring me a cup of water. “The Judge filled me in. Your dad’s a hottie, by the way. Banged up and all.”

I snorted. Of course, she’d say something like that. That was Carol—always trying to make me laugh when she knew I was about to unravel. The water tasted metallic from the cup, cold against the desert of my throat.

She stood beside me, one hand resting over mine, thumb tracing small circles like she was smoothing out the tremors beneath my skin. Neither of us spoke for a while. The monitors filled the silence. Somewhere down the hall, a code was called, and the world kept spinning as if mine hadn’t just tilted off its axis.

After a few minutes, I was steady enough to stand. Carol and I walked back to my father’s room. The corridor smelled faintly of disinfectant and rain-soaked concrete from the ambulance bay. Mom sat beside his bed, holding his hand. The look on her face—devastation mixed with fierce worry—nearly broke me. When she saw me, she stood and came toward me, wrapping me in a soft and trembling hug.

“You okay? I know it’s a lot,” she said.

“It must’ve been one hell of a week,” I quipped.

To my surprise, she roared with laughter—real, unrestrained laughter. I didn’t think it was funny, but she lost it in the middle of the ER.

“It was, actually,” she said, still smiling. “We made you.”

Her eyes drifted off somewhere far beyond the fluorescent lights. It’s strange how memory works—how it lets you step back in time, not just to see it, but to feel it, every heartbeat replaying as if the past were still happening right now.

I had two years with him. Two years I’ll never trade for anything. I’d never seen my mother happier. Watching them together, I understood their brief story hadn’t been some teenage fling—it was a spark that waited decades to breathe again. For a while, it felt like the world had given us a second chance.

Then the disease came, and everything changed.
Nothing was ever the same after that.

So far, the disease had cropped up in five different towns, ravaging everyone and everything in its wake. My father was one of them.

I begged my mother to leave the area, but her stubborn ass wouldn’t budge.

“I won’t hear of it! Nothing’s running me from my home,” she snapped.

I couldn’t believe people actually said that kind of thing outside of old movies. I figured it was one of those lines characters use when they’ve already decided they’re not going anywhere.

Then she gave me that look—sharp, deliberate—and sighed.
“Okay,” she said finally, downing her afternoon scotch. “When are we leaving?”

“I have patients, Mom,” I replied.

She smirked faintly, that judge’s confidence slipping through the exhaustion. “So do I, honey. Mine just happen to sit in courtrooms instead of hospital beds.”

“We just lost Albie to this shit. I won’t risk you as well,” she said.

That stopped me cold. Mom never swore. That was Dad’s thing. Hearing it from her snapped something loose inside me. I looked at her, really looked, and saw the fear beneath all that steel.

We stood there in silence, and in that silence we understood what needed to be done. If it was going to end, let it end like this—on our feet, fighting.

“Sue, honey, you die with your boots on,” my father had told me when he first started showing symptoms. He’d been delivering meds to the infected zones, refusing to stay home. I begged him to stop, but a daughter’s love isn’t enough to turn a man away from his calling.

I wish it were.

Back at the cabin, the world felt smaller, quieter. The disease had moved on, taking what it wanted and leaving the rest of us to sort through the ruins.

I sat in Dad’s old rocker, which creaked like it still remembered his rhythm. The fire popped softly in the hearth, smoke curling through the faint scent of pine and old varnish. A book lay on the end table—Judas, My Brother. Of course. Trust Dad to pick something that questioned everything. I turned it over, thumbed through the pages soft from use, and slipped on his glasses. The prescription was surprisingly close to mine. The world blurred for a heartbeat, then settled into focus—clearer, heavier.

Mom had built the fire and sat on the couch with her usual scotch, watching the flames without speaking. The glass glinted amber in her hand. She didn’t have to say anything. The silence between us said everything—loss, endurance, maybe even grace.

I read a few lines, hearing his voice in the space between words. Then I closed the book, leaned back in his chair, and let the rocker creak like it was breathing for him.

No one prepares you for the feeling of loving something that Death has touched.
But you learn.
You learn to read by its light.

Author’s Note:
Inspired by Fandango’s Story Starter #223.
Thank you, Fandango, for the spark — this one burned quietly but deep.

Well Shit, There Is Never Enough Duct Tape

2025/10/202025/10/20Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2096, Resilience, The Daily's, writer's life, writer's on writing, writing8 Comments

Weathered, Hard Knocks Wisdom

Well shit. There is never enough duct tape.

Guppy and I are sitting in the middle of chaos again. She’s perched on the edge of the desk, licking her paw like she’s above it all. Around us, the lab looks like a hardware crime scene — cables spilling from gutted towers, screws scattered like confession pieces. A half-drunk cup of coffee cools beside me, burnt and bitter, the official scent of frustration.

She meows right on cue, the sound sharp and knowing. I look over. “Yeah,” I tell her. “I did it again.”

Outside, the truck’s still dead in the driveway. The house keeps popping up new problems like it’s auditioning for a demolition reel. And inside, my computers — the ones that run everything I’ve built — have decided to crash in unison. It’s a full symphony of failure.

It kinda feels like life bitch-slapped me. I’m standing there, half laughing, half wondering what cosmic fuse I blew this time. Then, in my mind, a ghostly finger points right at me and says, in that whiny little voice only the universe uses: “You know why.” The kind of voice that grates — part guilt, part game show host.

So I sit there, breathing through the noise, because reacting to chaos never resolves anything. There’s never enough duct tape for that kind of mess.

I’ve been fixing broken things since I was a kid. Did my first tune-up at eight years old — or what I thought was a tune-up. Standing on a kitchen chair in my school clothes, wrench in hand, trying to change plugs and set points. Madre nearly lost her mind when she saw the grease stains on that chair. But when that engine coughed back to life, I felt it — that quiet click inside that says, You can fix this.

Then came the eighties and my next addiction: computers. Back before color screens and mouse pads, when hope fit on a floppy disk and syntax errors were life lessons. We typed code line by line, fingers crossed, praying the damn thing would run. Our instructors were learning right beside us. When we figured out how to make a 5.25-inch floppy dual-sided, we thought we were gods.

We wrote everything down back then — notebooks, sketchpads, pages of half-finished programs and circuit doodles. There weren’t breaches in those days, just broken noses if someone got too close to your notebook. Hidden between the pages, you’d find a floppy or two — our version of a flash drive. Everything we built lived by hand, by instinct, by obsession.

I remember the early version of Memoirs of Madness. It wasn’t even a site yet — just an idea and a laptop I built from scavenged parts. I used to walk to the local library to borrow their Wi-Fi, fingers freezing on the keyboard, trying to post something before the battery died. My first “lab” was a pile of junked machines I dragged home and resurrected. Every boot-up felt like a small miracle, a little defiance against the void.

Then I got fancy — started buying ready-made machines, the kind that come preloaded with operating systems that assume they know what’s best for you. Windows. Loud, bossy, always watching. So I went back to Linux. The hard way, of course.

And naturally, it couldn’t be as simple as clicking “install.” There are, what, fifty different Linux distros to choose from? (It’s probably not fifty, but in the middle of a rebuild, it sure as hell feels like it.) Matching distro to hardware… don’t even get me started. The world’s built for Windows and Mac, not for the stubborn few still willing to build their own bones.

My old MacBook’s still around, though. She’s slow, loyal, and half-retired. She’s got the heart for it, just not the legs. I can’t bring myself to replace her. We’ve been through too much — too many drafts, too many late nights, too many little resurrections.

Every crash, every patch, every clunky restart just reminds me: I’ve been here before. Different machines, same madness.

It’s that time of year again — the anniversaries of loss, the kind that pile up quietly. Some losses don’t stay buried; they just wait for the calendar to circle back. And it’s in moments like these you pause, wondering what the right response to chaos even looks like. Because reacting never fixes it — there’s never enough duct tape.

The machines hum again now — not perfect, but alive. The house still leaks. The truck still sulks. I’ll fix what I can, curse what I can’t, and keep rebuilding in the meantime.

Guppy jumps into my lap, head-butts my beard, and purrs like she’s proud of me for surviving another day. I scratch behind her ear, take a sip of cold coffee, and sigh.

So, what am I working on?

My life.

And for now, it’s still running — a little buggy, sure, but running all the same.

Groove, Guppy… Guppy? Groove, please… ah, yes, thank you.

🎧 Soundtrack: “Help Me” – Sonny Boy Williamson II | “The Stumble” – Freddie King

Daily writing prompt

What have you been working on?

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When the Room Goes Quiet

2025/10/19Posted in ProseTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, life, love, mental health, Random Thoughts, writer's life, writers on writing, writing5 Comments

“Fear doesn’t always mean run. Sometimes it means you’ve finally cornered the truth.”

Let’s start with an admission: I’ve never liked the sound of my own voice.
Not the way it cracks when I speak too quickly, or how it forgets itself halfway through a thought. Writing has always been safer — the words obey there. They arrive dressed and deliberate. Out loud, they stumble.

Before I speak, my body stages a small rebellion. My pulse climbs. My jaw tightens. The air feels heavy, as if the room is waiting to see what kind of fraud I’ll turn out to be. That’s what fear does — it turns attention into judgment, curiosity into threat. Only when I’m speaking about my writing does this happen — as if some inner voice hisses, “How dare you think your work is worthy of commentary?”

Yet outside the creative world, I’ve never hesitated to speak. Giving orders? No problem. I did it unapologetically. If someone broke down or got their feelings hurt, my answer was simple: “It’s not my fault your parents raised you to be a pansy.” Was that wrong? Of course. But it was effective — more often than not. That’s why the transition to civilian life hit me like a slow collapse. You can’t bark your way through vulnerability. You can’t command creativity. It doesn’t answer to rank.

But it isn’t really the audience I fear. It’s exposure.
Writing lets me curate my confessions, polish the edges, make the mess beautiful. Speaking strips that away. It demands the raw version — the one that still shakes. And people are strange — sometimes cruel. Some need to be publicly flogged for how they treat others. I laugh when life gives them a taste of their own medicine. Not because two wrongs make a right — they don’t — but because it’s human to feel that flicker of satisfaction when justice shows up wearing irony’s grin. What always gets me, though, is how quickly the guilty feign ignorance. “I’ve done nothing,” they say. Or worse, “All I did was…” as if cruelty came with a receipt and a refund policy.

Sometimes I wonder if the page has made me soft. Soft in that pansy way I used to mock. Where are the tissues? Did you just hand me the cheap stuff? Man, you better give me the Puffs if we’re gonna do this right.
Thank you.
Where was I?
Right — softness. I can write about grief, about love, about the parts of me that never healed. It’s almost easy to do so from the shadows, where no one sees your face or knows your name. A brave soul or a coward? Maybe both.

What do I look like without my mask? Will it fall away, or do I have to peel it off piece by piece? It’s okay to be frightened by what you see. It’s okay to scream aloud as you stare at the stranger in front of you — until you realize it isn’t a stranger at all.
It’s you.
And that’s the moment the voice in your head mutters, “The shit just got real. Damn it, man.”

Could I say these things out loud without flinching? Could I bear the sound of my truth without a backspace key to hide behind?

Maybe that’s what this season of my life is about — learning to live without the safety of revision. To understand that fear, pain, and uncertainty aren’t evidence of weakness, but proof that I’m alive — proof that I matter. The pounding of my heart, the sweat along my brow, the tingling at my edges — they’re all part of it. Then somewhere amidst all of this, I clear the mechanism. Serenity appears. It doesn’t replace the fear, pain, or uncertainty; it listens to them. They have a conversation while I exhale.

I don’t know if I’ll ever love the microphone. But I’m starting to think the page and the stage aren’t enemies. They’re just two mirrors — one for the voice, one for the soul — and I’m standing between them, trying to recognize my own reflection.

Reflective Prompt

What would your truth sound like if you stopped editing it mid-sentence?
Say it out loud — even if your voice shakes.

Author’s Note

Sometimes honesty is a fistfight between who we were and who we’re trying to be. This one left a few bruises — the good kind.
Now, if anyone knows where I left the ice packs… or hell, even a bag of frozen peas — I’m open to suggestions.
Where’s the love, people? Where’s the love?

Tell Yourself Whatever You Need To

2025/10/18Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2095, emotional honesty, healing, human behavior, identity, Introspection, introvert, life, love, memoir, mental health, Perception, personal essay, reflection, self awareness, silence, solitude, The Daily's, truth, vulnerability, writing5 Comments

Most people think I’m loud — the kind of person who fills a room just by showing up. The one cracking jokes, telling stories, holding court like I was born to. I let them believe it. It keeps things easier, smoother. But truthfully, I’m an introvert in disguise — a quiet man who learned that silence makes people nervous.

I’ve actually heard folks say they were scared of me when I didn’t talk. Something about my face, maybe — the way it rests heavy, unreadable, like I’m thinking too much or judging too hard. I guess that’s my curse: I look like trouble when I’m just tired.

So I talk. Even when I don’t want to. Even when the words feel like sand in my mouth. I talk to make other people comfortable, to smooth over the awkwardness that silence seems to bring. I know that probably sounds weak, but it helps things along. It makes the day move easier. And sometimes, pretending to be the loud one is less exhausting than explaining why I’m quiet.

When I worked in offices, coworkers would say things like, “Are you judging me?” or “You’re judging me right now, aren’t you?” or “You look like you’re about to call me a name.” I’d laugh it off, but inside, I wasn’t judging anyone. I was probably thinking about a story idea, or how lunch wasn’t sitting right, or why the hell the printer only jammed when I used it. But try explaining that without sounding like a weirdo. It’s easier just to say something funny, make them laugh, keep the peace.

Even my ex used to tell me, “Let me know before you go dark.” She meant the quiet spells — those stretches when I’d retreat into my head, writing or reading or just not talking. To her, silence felt like absence, like a door closed without warning. But for me, it was never about her. It was how I reset. I don’t disappear out of anger; I disappear to breathe. But try convincing someone of that when they’ve been taught that noise means love.

The truth is, I can go days without saying a word and feel completely fine. The quiet doesn’t scare me — it steadies me. It’s where I make sense of things. Where I untangle the noise I swallowed all week. My desk becomes a refuge. A book, a pen, and a cup of cooling coffee are enough to rebuild the parts I’ve spent too long bending out of shape for other people’s peace.

But silence has its own cost. You start to wonder if anyone ever really knew you beneath the performance. If they’d still come around if you stopped making it easy for them. If they’d sit in the quiet long enough to realize you’re not angry — just tired of having to explain your existence.

So yeah, I’m loud. But not because I love attention. I’m loud because silence unsettles people, and I’ve spent too many years trying not to be someone’s reason for discomfort. Maybe that’s my weakness. Or maybe it’s another kind of grace — learning to speak, even when the world hasn’t earned your voice.

Before I go dark.

Daily writing prompt

What’s something most people don’t know about you?

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The Geography of Silence

2025/10/15Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2092, The Daily's, writing10 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What makes a good neighbor?

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A good neighbor knows when not to wave.
They nod from across the street, maybe lift a hand if the mood strikes, but mostly—they stay put. They don’t wander over with gossip wrapped in small talk or ask what that noise was last night. They know everyone’s got ghosts, and some of us like to drink coffee with ours in peace.

A good neighbor minds their lawn, their lights, and their damn business. They understand proximity isn’t friendship—it’s geography. The best ones don’t pretend otherwise. They’re the kind who’ll pull your trash bin up to the curb when you forget, but never ask why you forgot in the first place.

But here’s the part no one admits: good neighbors save us, quietly.
They remind us we’re not alone even when we choose to be. The sound of their footsteps, the faint hum of their television through the wall—it’s proof of life, the fragile kind that keeps you tethered when the world starts feeling too wide. We may never speak beyond a passing hello, but that’s not indifference. It’s understanding.

The secret isn’t in being close—it’s in being considerate. It’s in knowing that kindness sometimes looks like silence. And if you’re lucky, it’s in the neighbor who nods at you through the blinds, both of you quietly agreeing that the best relationships are the ones that never need explaining.

When Nobody’s Watching

2025/10/13Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2090, life, love, mental health, relationships, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

On the kind of truth that doesn’t need an audience.

I’ve always felt that people who do things “as a matter of principle” are full of it. Too often, they cling to their moral code like a lifeboat, even when the water’s shallow enough to stand. I don’t think most of them mean harm — they just get caught up in being right, afraid to face the possibility that they might be wrong. It’s human nature. We mistake conviction for truth because it’s easier than questioning ourselves.

The older I’ve gotten, the more I’ve realized that all our so-called principles are built on experience — the good, the bad, and the ones that broke us open. What we value changes. What once mattered deeply starts to fade. Acceptance doesn’t come easy; denial usually wins the first few rounds.

Over time, I stopped pretending I needed a long list of virtues to define me. I stripped it down to what felt real — two principles that anchor everything else: honesty and integrity.

Honesty keeps me from lying to myself, especially when self-deception would be easier.
Integrity keeps me from betraying who I say I am, even when it costs me something to stay true.

Everything else — compassion, respect, perseverance — grows from those two. I’ve found that when I hold to them, I don’t need much else. It’s simple, but it’s not easy.

I recall people talking about staying up with the times — as if evolution meant trading in your soul for a newer model. But some things shouldn’t change. Things like being true to yourself and paying attention to what actually matters — the choices, the people, and the moments that leave fingerprints on the rest of your life, whether you notice them or not.

I still hear my Madre’s voice when I start to drift:

“You know the difference between right and wrong. No one has to teach you. But I will remind you from time to time.”

That line stuck with me. Maybe because she was right — deep down, we all know. Life just tries to talk us out of it.

Some people call it character, others call it discipline. I just call it doing what’s right when nobody’s watching. The kind of thing you don’t brag about, because if you have to, it probably doesn’t count.

Daily writing prompt

What principles define how you live?

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Ghosts, Deadlines, and the Cool Monitor

2025/10/13Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2089, Deep Reflections, healing, life, love, mental health, writing3 Comments

Somewhere between the ghosts that won’t shut up and the deadlines that never arrive, I learned the trick — just keep writing anyway.

In 2023, my writing team accused me of procrastinating. I was offended — we’d built blogs, workshops, entire worlds together. How could they think I wasn’t doing enough? Then my senior editor cornered me one afternoon. It wasn’t a talk so much as a scolding — the kind that makes you feel like a kid again, thumb hovering near your mouth, waiting for the cue to say, “I’m sorry. I’ll never do it again.”

She wasn’t wrong, though. She asked a single question I couldn’t answer:
“Why haven’t you finished your novels?”

I had no answer then, and I still don’t. I’ve told myself plenty of stories — excuses dressed up as reasons — but none with any iron in them. They clang hollow, like empty promises we whisper to ourselves when doubt starts pacing the floor.

Since my reemergence, I’ve kept writing. Slowly. Unevenly. Each sentence feels like a step back toward the part of me that once trusted the words. My editor’s been kinder lately — maybe because I’ve stopped hiding behind excuses, or maybe because Ursula, my muse, stopped sulking now that she’s getting her pages again.

But somewhere along the way, I forgot how to do it. I can’t recall the moment it happened — it slipped away in the night, like a silent rogue with perfect aim. Maybe I was its willing victim. Not the kind that dies, but the kind that lives haunted by the absence of what was taken.

You’d think that once you recognize what you’ve lost, it would be easy to reclaim. But it isn’t. It’s like I hid it in some special place — the one where I put all the things I swore I’d never lose. Now I stand at the door, staring into that room, unable to remember where I left it.

So I wait. I search the corners. I listen for echoes of the writer who once trusted the words to come. With patience, I know I’ll find what’s hidden — the secrets, the treasures, the grace buried under dust and doubt.

Believing in myself is the key. The rest is just remembering how to turn it.

By 2025, the ghosts have quieted. I’m no longer haunted by my demons — I think they took a cruise or something. But their cousins pop in from time to time, usually uninvited, always loud, never staying long. I let them talk. Then I get back to writing.

Still, despite the progress I’ve made, there’s something holding me back — something keeping me from reaching that place where I can be completely at ease with who I am as a creator. I don’t want to cross to the other side of the veil wondering if I could have been more.

Of course, there will always be unfinished work when we cross over. That’s the nature of it. But I don’t want to be one of those guys replaying fragments of what I could have been.

So this year, I’ve started making moves to change that — to turn my writing and art into something more than what sits quietly on my hard drive. I’ve focused on quality rather than quantity, and I’m learning, finally, to get out of my own way.

You know how embarrassing it is to trip over your own feet? Talk about losing cool points. The Cool Monitor’s in the corner, shaking his head and deducting them one by one.

But this time, at least, I’m still walking forward.

Maybe the real work was never about finishing — just refusing to stop.

I’ve made peace with the ghosts in my process. They’re lousy tenants — leave coffee rings, mutter bad advice, rearrange my ideas when I’m not looking. But I’ve learned to write through their noise. Some days, that’s what it means to be an artist: to keep typing while the past heckles from the cheap seats.

I’ve spent years chasing the version of myself I thought I was supposed to be — the novelist, the mentor, the unshakable voice. Turns out, I don’t need to become him again. I just need to keep showing up — pen in hand, imagination slightly bruised, heart still willing.

Once I realized that, I’ve written some of the most powerful stuff in years.

Reflective Prompt

Take a moment. Unplug from the artificial ether and tap into the one we were born with — the raw signal beneath the static. Acknowledge the things you wanted to do, the things you left hanging, the things you can still do. What are they?

Don’t dress them up as goals or resolutions. Just name them. Whisper them back into existence. Some will sting. Some will make you laugh at how small or strange they seem now. But all of them are proof that you’re still reaching — still alive enough to want.

Maybe that’s the real work of this life: learning to live with the unfinished, to walk beside the ghosts of what we almost became, and still make something worth remembering.

Daily writing prompt

What have you been putting off doing? Why?

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When the Words Stop Belonging to Me

2025/10/08Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2085, life, mental health, The Daily's, writing2 Comments

Somewhere between the promise to finish and the fear of release, I found the echo of a voice that used to steady me. Maybe finishing isn’t the victory—it’s the letting go.

The hardest personal goal I’ve set for myself was deciding to finish a manuscript by the end of the year. I made that promise quietly—no big declarations, no social media countdowns—just a whispered deal between me and the page. I told myself that this time, I wouldn’t stall, I wouldn’t second-guess, I’d simply finish. And for a while, I did. The words came like a slow, steady thaw after a long winter.

But somewhere along the way, I lost my nerve. I’ve been published before, but that was before my wife died. Back then, I wrote with a kind of reckless courage—like someone who still believed the act of creation could outlast the ache of being human. Now, everything I write feels like an echo of the life we built together, the silence between us inked in every line.

People call it fear, and maybe they’re right. But I think it’s more complicated than that. Fear can be fought. This… this feels like standing at the edge of something sacred, knowing that once I let the work go, I can’t pull it back. It’ll belong to the world—and not to her, not to me.

Still, I keep returning to the manuscript, the way you revisit an old photograph. There’s grief in it, but also grace. Maybe finishing isn’t about conquering the fear at all. Maybe it’s about learning to live with the ghosts that remain—and letting the story carry them somewhere new.

Author’s Note:
We talk a lot about fear in creative spaces, as if naming it will banish it. But sometimes, fear isn’t the enemy—it’s the proof that what we’re doing still matters.

Daily writing prompt

What was the hardest personal goal you’ve set for yourself?

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Detention, Da Vinci, and the Making of a Misfit

2025/10/08Posted in The Daily'sTagged Art, books, creative flow state, creative writing, creativity, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2084, life, The Daily's, writer's life, writingLeave a comment

I wouldn’t know the names of the masters if you paid me a million dollars. I can’t look at a painting and tell you who brushed what stroke or why it matters. There are a few comic book artists I really enjoy, but again, I couldn’t tell you their names. I just know when something stops me in my tracks.

The feeling I get when I look at art… I don’t really have words for it. It’s like trying to explain why a storm feels beautiful while it’s tearing through your neighborhood. You just feel it. Despite that, I spend my time trying to create the same kind of reaction in other people—through writing, art, film, photography—whatever medium happens to grab me that day.

I recall giving a speech in class once. When I finished, there was silence. No applause, no eye rolls—just my classmates staring at me like I’d confessed something I shouldn’t have. My teacher asked what inspired it, and I told him I made the whole thing up. He didn’t believe me. They sent me to the counselor’s office to “discuss my feelings.”

It took a while, but I finally convinced an adult that it was a work of fiction. I had my notebook with me, filled with half-finished stories and wild ideas. That notebook saved me. It proved I wasn’t broken—I was just a writer.

It was after that little incident I landed myself in detention for running my mouth. I’ve got a habit of voicing my disdain in its raw, unfiltered form. Come to think of it, that might’ve been what led my mother to suggest I give up profanity for Lent. Hmmm.

Meanwhile, back in detention, I checked out an art book from the library and started leafing through it. I found a Da Vinci sketch—nothing fancy, just a face drawn with impossible precision. I tried drawing my own version, and something in me shifted. After that, I started drawing everything. Then, write everything. Strangely, that was the birth of Mangus Khan.

Funny how things happen, huh?

Since then, I’ve learned that every work of art hits everyone differently. I’ve written things I meant to be serious, only to have people burst out laughing. There’s no predicting what someone will feel. You just roll with it, cherish the experience, and most of all—feel.

Author’s Note:
Don’t let anyone crush your creative spirit. They may not understand what you’ve created—and that’s okay. You never know how it will affect the next person. So create. Always create.

Daily writing prompt

Who are your favorite artists?

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The Stories That Yearn to Be Told

2025/10/07Posted in The Daily'sTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2083, life, The Daily's, writer, writer's life, writers on writing, writing2 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What is your favorite hobby or pastime?

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I didn’t set out to be a writer. It happened by accident, somewhere between a half-finished sketch and a notebook full of half-thought ideas. Back then, I was a teenager with more curiosity than direction, filling pages because it felt like the only way to keep my thoughts from spilling everywhere else. One of my oldest friends likes to remind me he can’t remember a time I didn’t have a notebook in my hand. He says I was always scribbling or sketching, usually both.

It was at his house, during one of those long afternoons that used to stretch forever, when someone suggested I could write and illustrate my own book. I never did—but the idea never left. Over the years I’ve written stories inspired by other people’s art, and drawn illustrations for stories that weren’t mine. Maybe that’s the closest I’ve come to answering that old dare.

These days, my rituals are quieter, more deliberate. I start with coffee, smokes, and a notebook—that’s the constant. The rest depends on mood. Sometimes I need silence; other times, I scroll through playlists until I find something that matches the weather inside my head. The room is dimly lit, Guppy purring on the desk, both of us waiting for my next move. It’s not glamorous, but it’s home—the small ritual that turns chaos into coherence.

I don’t consider writing a hobby. But apparently, some people around me do. They say it like it’s harmless, even complimentary, as if writing were just another way to pass the time. Most days, it pisses me off—not because I crave validation, but because it ignores the time, discipline, and mental excavation it takes to build worlds, shape characters, or research a single line that rings true.

I’ve spent weeks turning over ideas before I ever write a word, sometimes months just mapping the geography of a story or tracing the emotional logic of a character. That’s not leisure; that’s labor—creative, invisible, and deeply consuming. Yet somehow, the work only “counts” if it’s published, printed, or profitable. Maybe that’s the illusion people live by: that creation isn’t real until it leaves your desk.

I’ve read the books. I’ve done the study. I’m not waiting for a permission slip to call myself a writer. Still, I can admit that sometimes fresh eyes help—someone catching a rhythm I missed, a sentence that stumbles, or an idea that needs to breathe differently. But that’s collaboration, not validation. The work itself has always been serious enough.

I remember the first time I saw my name in print. I was just a kid then, with childish dreams about becoming something I didn’t fully understand. But even at that age, I knew it was the only thing that gave me genuine joy and peace. It felt right. Like I’d found the one place where my head and my heart could finally speak the same language.

Even when I draw, I’m still telling stories. Sometimes, when I get it right, a single sketch can hold the whole narrative—the emotion, the silence between moments, the pulse of something unfinished but alive.

As an adult, that sense of wonder changed shape. I never thought my writing would go anywhere; most of it was just stories I’d tell my wife over coffee or late-night laughter. When she smiled, I’d rewrite. When she made that face—the one that said, “you’ve hit something”—I’d dig deeper. For a long time, I was defensive about my writing, too fragile to take a critique, too unsure to trust my own voice.

But somewhere along the way, I stopped chasing perfection and started writing from that place where the magic happens. I write from the soul, not the head. It took me forever to realize that for myself, even though I’d taught it a thousand times in workshops. Funny how the truths we teach others take the longest to reach home.

So maybe my favorite pastime isn’t writing itself, at least not in the way people imagine. It’s telling the stories that insist on being told—the ones that show up uninvited and refuse to leave quietly. Not the planned ones or the well-outlined projects, but the whispers that come when I’m half-awake, the flickers that make me reach for a pen even when I swore I was done for the night.

Those are the stories that remind me why I started. They aren’t about publishing or approval or anyone’s idea of success. They’re about listening—to memory, to imagination, to the things that ache to take shape. I suppose that’s what writing has always been for me: not a hobby, not even work, but a kind of surrender.
A way of being in conversation with something larger than myself.

The Noise That Survives Me

2025/10/062025/10/06Posted in Dispatches from the Splinters of My MindTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, Dispatches, fantasy, Fiction, Fiction Series, short-story, writingLeave a comment

Entry Nine: Dispatches from the Splinters of My Mind

I wake upright, as though sleep forgot to fold me into its arms. The darkness presses in all around—soft, velvety, bruised at the edges, like some colossal bruise pulsing with the low red hum of my own blood. A cloth lies warm against my eyelids, its fibers slick where they touch my skin, chillier at the edges where the air’s breath finds purchase. I don’t brush it away. I’ve learned that on certain nights the world is safer unseen.

They breathe at my sides—two hulking presences, rigid as ancient statues steeped in the sick-sweet perfume of formaldehyde. One on my left, one on my right, like bookends clamped around a story that refuses to end. Their feet remain statuesque; instead their bodies rock ever so slightly, tilting inward, receding, then returning in a silent metronome of doubt. Sometimes they feel like mirrors, their gazes jokers with opinions. Sometimes they feel like promises, the future I was sold if I kept doing what I was doing. Most nights I know the truth: they are mine—either I forged them, or they forged me. Asking which first feels as impolite as inquiring whether the flame or the candle existed before the other.

“Don’t speak,” says one voice—dry, brittle, like my father after my brother’s funeral. “Don’t confess,” says the other, rasping through a cough that smells faintly of candle wax and stale hymns. Their words scratch the hollow behind my left ear, the birthplace of my worst headaches. These aren’t commands so much as rituals—family heirlooms too awkward to discard, for to do so one must acknowledge their worth.

But my mouth conducts its own liturgies. It leaks in secrets. A weight gathers on my tongue: metal and warmth, the taste of regrets I should have voiced long ago. The first word is always the hardest to birth. When it finally breaks free, every syllable remembers gravity and falls like ink that missed its page, staining my chin.

It’s all right, I tell myself, between ragged breaths. Blood is just memory liquefied. Let it run. Let it tally the score.

“How did we get here?” I whisper, voice ragged against the blindfold. The dark tilts its head and pretends not to hear.

Left says, “By keeping your eyes closed.”
Right hisses, “By learning to love the closing.”

They speak in turns, careful not to overlap, for if they did the shape of this place would shift and I’d forget what it means to stand.

I was taught early that silence is a language with two alphabets—safety and surrender—both scrawled from the same letters. When the cops came to our flat for the second time, my mother pressed a thumb to my lips. It felt like blessing and gag in equal measure. Years later, the first woman who claimed she understood me asked if I had anything to confess. I answered “No” because survival had already flipped the coin. I’ve whispered apologies to her in colder seasons, at bus stops I never ride, through prayers I don’t believe in. None ever breached the blindfold—they slid back down, patient as ghosts.

I know what lurks beneath this cloth. I’ve seen it—how daylight has kissed it, streetlight has tasted it, how a match’s flame stared too long and flinched. Eyes that catalogue, that inventory every fracture, then try to alphabetize the fragments. If I unveil them tonight, I’ll stare out into a flock of unfinished things circling my bed—wounds and half-formed promises. One can drown in the study of omissions. Ask me how I know.

Left leans forward, winter on his breath: the damp, hollow kind that drifts through stairwells, eavesdropping on arguments. “We kept you alive,” he says, a tenderness reserved for things long dead. “We wrapped your seeing until your seeing couldn’t hurt you.” The years have built a fortress in his jaw, doors forgotten.

Right lifts a hand to graze my ear—his touch colder than patience. “We taught you an economy of withholding. What you don’t utter can’t be used against you. What you don’t name can’t die.” He pauses, fingers poised like a man waiting for payment. “We saved you from the truths that detonate families into committees.”

Between them lies a rasp—a rasp that, I realize, is my own.

I drift back to the riverbank, red water flowing like a personal insult to the city. I recall the neon sign in that solitary room—its sick throb of light like a wound bargaining for closure. I hear the voice that begged me to “keep the light on,” and how I switched it off, hoping the corridor would keep a secret of its own.

Silence exacts its own fee. It demands tiny coins—words unsaid, memories locked away—until one day you want to catch a bus out of town and all you possess is the jingle of borrowed time.

“Say it,” Left murmurs, not unkindly.
“Say nothing,” Right counters, like a physician prescribing illness.

My lips part. Perhaps it is prayer, perhaps confession—perhaps the last valve cracking open in a machinery someone else designed. What I long to say is simple: I remember the first lie—it tasted like rescue. The second lied felt like rehearsal. The third taught me grammar, and the rest built a house around me: no windows, just a door opening onto a closet. I want to say that blindness, if chosen wisely, lets you aim without seeing your target. That I learned to navigate by the shadows where stars should be. And I want to speak her name, the one I’ve carved into the walls of my heart, the one whose echo never returned but whom I have nurtured in silence for years.

Yet the mouth refuses dictation. When words drop onto my collar, I taste ash on my tongue. If I linger here, the floor will absorb me letter by letter. Maybe that’s the plan: let the body become a document, the words falling where they will.

“Open,” Left instructs—not my eyes, but the wound beneath this cloth.
“Close,” Right insists—not my lips, but the subject itself.

They kneel, each in reverent posture, calling it unity.

I am not devout. Faith in myself is a belated apology—a jacket thrown over my shoulders after winter has already laid bare my bones. Still, I believe in small truths: every silence is a room with a window you can paint shut; blood remembers what you refuse to; when the past leans in to kiss you, check its hands.

“Why do you resent our aid?” Right asks, almost plaintive.

“I don’t,” I rasp, the cloth muffling my words. “I’m just weary of living the shape of your absence.”

Left’s fingers find the knot in the blindfold with a lover’s care. He doesn’t tighten, only taps it, as though weighing a wish. “You won’t like what you see.”

“I rarely do,” I reply, a dry laugh clawing free.

“Then keep the cloth,” he says. “And we’ll keep you. We’re the railings in your dark.”

I envision rusted metal, cold to the touch, a splinter waiting for skin. I recall the staircase winding down to a door I never open—the handle of which somehow knows my name. Once I thought that room housed my monsters. Now I see the real monsters are proper: they safeguard my unspent courage and the coats of selves I never became.

“I have questions,” I say, voice gentle as rain. “Whose mouths whispered before mine? Where did the very first hush come from? How many women stifled their fire because the men who taught them already drowned in smoke? How many fathers measured love by volume, awarding themselves with silence?”

Left inhales, a slow vacuum. Right clears his throat like a clerk shelving confessions.

“You think your blood makes you singular,” Left says. “It only makes you consistent.”

“You think speech is salvation,” Right counters. “Speech is a tool—tuned for mercy or murder.”

Both statements are true. Both can kill.

The cloth grows heavy, soaked where its letters dissolved in transit. I recall the story of a saint who plucked out his eyes to end desire, of a soldier who bit off his tongue so no one could barter his secrets. Every tale shares the same architect: Sanctity. Security. Surrender. The walls remain flawless. The rooms numbered. No one explains the numbers until rent’s due.

“Remove it,” someone says, and I can’t discern whose voice borrowed mine this time.

My hands lift, obedient as shadows at dusk. The knot is simple—always was. The hardest part of a blindfold is the narrative that says you deserve it. I tug once. The cloth exhales. Light rushes at me with the relief of a crowd that finally chose a side.

The room reveals itself—smaller than I’d feared, grander than I’d earned. The two men are exactly as the voice in me conjured: tattered elegance, wreckage with meticulously combed hair. Their faces are maps whose borders have vanished. Their suits hang as carefully as funeral garb. Their hands hover, almost kind.

I look at Left. He looks at my past. I look at Right. He looks at my future. Neither steps forward. I remain the hinge.

Blood trickles from my chin, a rudimentary signature poised for the name that owns it. I want to wipe it away. I want to revel in it. I want to stand still and hear what stillness says.

“Are you ready to speak?” Right asks, tone hopeful.

“I have been speaking the whole time,” I say, and for the first time the room curves into something like a smile.

Left shakes his head. “If you go on, you’ll lose us.”

I meet his eyes—meet my inheritance. “Maybe you’re meant to be lost.”

Pride and regret war in his gaze, as if he’s a father examining the bruise he taught me to take. There’s curriculum here no syllabus could contain.

“You can’t survive the noise,” he warns.

“Then let the noise survive me,” I tell him. “Carry the parts I cannot.”

When I finally move, it is unceremonious. I am neither saint nor soldier tonight, only someone who learned to count by the drip of blood in the dark. I am someone who believed in railings and now tries to believe in stairs. I am someone who has loved poorly, remembered perfectly. My fingertips trace the cooling red at my jaw, smearing it as though to bless myself—two fingers pressed to skin, raising a silent benediction. I draw a thin line across my throat—not threat, but witness. Then I touch each eyelid, first right, then left. Their warmth whispers secrets textbooks never taught.

The two men release simultaneous sighs of opposing relief. They are both disappointed. They are both relieved. It is possible to be two sermons at once.

A neon sign shivers somewhere beyond these walls. A painted-shut window in another life wonders if tonight the paint might crack. The floor holds my secret. The air remembers it was once a river and yearns to practice.

“I won’t speak her name,” I murmur, voice low but unwavering, “but I will stop pretending I never learned it.”

Right bows. Left closes his eyes. The room narrows to a path that was always here.

I take a step. Then another. My mouth finally ceases bleeding—it has, at last, done its duty. The cloth in my hand is merely cloth. I let it fall. Its descent makes no sound anyone else would hear.

If I keep walking, perhaps the past won’t follow. If it does, we can negotiate. I’ve learned there are nights it’s safer to close your eyes—and nights when you must open them, so when the world returns wearing your own voice, you can tell prayer from muzzle.

Tonight, I listen for that difference. And if the voices demand a choice, they can wait—like the weather.

One Size Fits Nobody

2025/10/04Posted in The Daily'sTagged Bi-Polar, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2081, life, love, mental health, PTSD, The Daily's, writing13 Comments

When I was young, we didn’t know anything about bipolar, ADHD, or OCD. For most of the kids who looked like me, we were troublemakers. Lazy. Not living up to our “potential.” And my personal favorite — “at risk.”

I saw things that still twist my stomach. Families locking their special-needs kids away like shame in human form. Others giving children up for adoption because they saw difference as a “defect.” I didn’t understand it then, but I also didn’t question it. I figured it wasn’t my business. That was my own brand of ignorance — youthful stupidity with a good dose of asswipe. Luckily, I got my head out of my ass before it became permanent.

I watched people claw their way toward acceptance, thinking if they could just fit in, life might hurt less. It didn’t. I saw cruelty take every shape imaginable. And one night, I watched one of the kindest people I’d ever met get invited to a “party” by the popular crowd. What happened there was wrong on every level — a setup disguised as an invitation. People laughed. Some stood frozen, watching. Nobody stopped it. That was the night I decided I wouldn’t stand by again. I made it my mission to fight for the ones who couldn’t. Easier said than done, but it was a start.

Thing was, I knew what it felt like to be made to feel less than. My athletic ability was my equalizer — my way to earn space. But it was a fragile kind of belonging. I thought if I could hit harder, run faster, fight better, I’d earn respect.

Turns out, asswipes are going to be asswipes no matter how many beatings you hand out.

Being a nerd and a geek didn’t help either — things I embrace now but used to hide. Being Black in America wasn’t easy, but even that didn’t compare to the way people treated those with mental or learning conditions. Hate, I learned, is colorblind and endlessly creative.

We love to talk about how diversity makes America great. Sometimes I think diversity only exists on posters and TV slogans.

Then it hit home. My family. I wasn’t ready, but I wasn’t scared. I just had to face a truth I didn’t want to admit: I had some buried prejudice of my own. Stuff I didn’t even know was there. And if I wanted to keep my family whole, I had to deal with it. Over time, I did.

Then came my own diagnosis. PTSD. That’s when I found even more latent bullshit buried under the macho armor — the “last American badass” act. Mental illness didn’t exist for men like me. Especially not for Black men, because we’re supposed to be ridiculously strong. But let’s be honest — that toxic script applies to men everywhere. Be strong. Don’t cry. Fix it or bury it. It’s a lie that kills quietly.

The stigma runs deep — not just in the streets, but in the system. I asked a therapist once about ADHD and OCD, wondering if some of my symptoms overlapped. She waved it off: “Once you resolve your PTSD, you’ll be back to normal.”

Back to normal. As if “normal” were a bus stop I could just catch on the next route.

That’s the problem. Too many mental health professionals treat PTSD like it’s a virus. “Bend over, quick poke, might sting a little.” Hell, if it were that simple, I’d have rolled up my sleeve years ago.

But it’s not. None of it is. Every mind is different. What wrecks me might roll right off you. What medication lifts you up might level me. But they don’t listen. They pull out the checklist, ask the same robotic questions, tick the same boxes, and call it “care.”

It’s one-size-fits-all medicine — and that bullshit didn’t work for clothing, so why the hell do they think it’ll work for the mind?

When I hit full-blown crisis mode, I was lucky. I got an intern who actually gave a damn. She helped me start living with PTSD instead of suffering from it. She listened. She paid attention. She saw the person, not the file.

My psychiatrist? Worthless. I called him my dope man to his face. He corrected me — gave me his title like I was some illiterate twit. I told him I didn’t give a damn what his title was; he was still my dope man, and the least he could do was give me some good shit.

Instead, I got the cheap stuff — the kind that made me feel disrespected, doped, and disposable.

But I’ve been lucky since then. I have a care team now that actually seems to give a damn about me as a person — not just a walking diagnosis. I don’t know exactly how that happened, but I’ve got a small inkling. See, there were a few medical professionals who became casualties of my unfiltered disdain for incompetence. I didn’t hold back. Maybe that left a trail — maybe word got around that I wasn’t someone to bullshit. Whatever it was, I finally ended up with people who listen. Who treat me like a human being instead of a puzzle to solve.

Medication isn’t the solution. It never has been. It’s the work of the individual — the daily grind of facing the mirror and doing the damn work — that brings real results. I’ve worked with soldiers and civilians who carry the same ghosts, and the truth doesn’t change. The treatment only works when you treat the person. They’re not data points. They’re people. Treat them as such.

We are people. We deserve to be treated fairly. Not pitied. Not managed. Not turned into a statistic on a spreadsheet. We deserve the love and fairness that every living soul on this planet is owed.

If you want to help someone, start by listening. Don’t tell them what they need — ask them. Sure, you might know a few things, but don’t force it. Offer choices. Let them decide for themselves. Nobody likes being told what to do. And the ones who say they don’t mind? They’re lying.

Healing isn’t a factory line. It’s messy, human, and different for everyone. What calms one person might break another. What saves you might drown me.

There was a saying back in the day, before online dating. We used to say, “You got a sister or a friend?” — a way of saying, you’re good people, got anyone else like you?

That’s how I feel about good mental health professionals. When you find one who actually listens — who sees you as a person, not a case number — all you can think is: You got a sister or a friend?

But in my experience, most of these so-called mental health professionals don’t act like that.

Two words for you:

Uncultured Swine.

(It’s still a compliment.)

Author’s Note:

This piece is about stigma — the kind that hides behind silence, systems, and credentials. It’s about learning that real strength doesn’t come from toughness or treatment plans. It comes from listening — to yourself, to others, to the pain no one wants to name. Because healing, like humanity, never fits into a box.

Daily writing prompt

What’s a topic or issue about which you’ve changed your mind?

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Well… You Know

2025/10/03Posted in The Daily'sTagged creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2080, healing, life, love, mental health, Out of place, The Daily's, writing14 Comments

What it means to be labeled, to mock, and to finally understand.

There’s something about that question — “Tell us about a time when you felt out of place” — that stirs up more than I want to admit. For someone like me, admitting fear or discomfort has always felt like breaking an unspoken code. Society still treats fear like a weakness, and men especially are taught to hide it behind our egos. I’d love to say I’ve outgrown that, that my ego doesn’t run the show anymore. Truth is, I’d be full of shit if I said that. Ego still tugs at my decisions, but I do my best to keep it in check.

I remember when I was first diagnosed with PTSD. I wasn’t ashamed of it—I told friends and family outright, thinking honesty would bring support. I thought they’d rally, that they’d have my back in this new state of being. I was wrong. What I found instead was silence where I expected comfort, distance where I expected closeness. I heard whispers that weren’t really whispers, caught side-glances dressed up as concern, saw pity masquerading as care. The labels came quick: “Touched.” “Not right in the head.” And my personal favorite—“Well… you know.”

Looking back, I can admit there were times I blew things out of proportion. PTSD has a way of magnifying shadows until they look like monsters. But there were other times when I was dead-on, seeing things that others couldn’t because they hadn’t lived through it. Learning techniques to live with PTSD—rather than just suffer under it—changed my perspective.

I realized some of the fears I carried were invisible to others, because they’d never walked in that dark. And I also realized some of the fears they carried, the ones they thought were dire, looked small to me because I’d been through worse. That’s where the real challenge came in: not mocking them for what seemed trivial, not throwing back the same treatment they’d given me. That shit was hard. To pass up the chance to feed them the same poison they’d fed me? Damn near impossible.

But I knew better. I knew what it was like to be on the receiving end of whispers, side-glances, and labels. Mocking them—even quietly, even under my breath—only made me worse. It made me just like them. And that realization? That was harder to swallow than the diagnosis itself.

Before I retired, I spent the last few years working with people living with all kinds of mental conditions. What struck me wasn’t just the weight of their struggles, but how deeply they wanted to be “normal.” That desire ran so strong it could push them into choices that would shape, even haunt, the rest of their lives.

I came to understand something: it’s one thing to know, intellectually, that it’s okay to be different. It’s another thing entirely to believe it in your bones. I saw people wrestle with that gap every day, and in their fight, I saw myself. Being out of place had taught me what it felt like to carry that longing, that shame, that desperate wish to blend in. And maybe that’s the only gift of being “othered” — the chance to understand someone else’s battle, even when they can’t put it into words.

Perhaps, in some ways, this is what Memoirs of Madness is about. I didn’t start the blog with that purpose in mind, but maybe it has become a place to name the fears we all carry — the ones that make us feel out of place in our own lives. Or maybe it’s nothing of the kind. Maybe it’s just one man behind a keyboard, running his mouth. I’d like to believe it’s more than that. That in speaking my demons aloud, I give someone else permission to face theirs. That I remind them they’re not as alone as they think.

Author’s Note:
This piece grew from a prompt asking about a time I felt out of place. As always, I didn’t take the safe route. The question became an exploration of stigma, ego, and the long road toward compassion. If nothing else, I hope it reminds someone out there they aren’t as alone in their demons as they might believe.

Daily writing prompt

Tell us about a time when you felt out of place.

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Living Both Lives

2025/10/02Posted in The Daily'sTagged computers, creative writing, daily exercise, daily-prompt, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2079, life, LifeWithoutComputers, technology, The Daily's, writing9 Comments

Daily writing prompt

Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

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Coffee, Miles Davis, and a fresh OS

On the surface, it sounds simple. Life without a computer? Quiet. Peaceful. No antivirus sales pop-ups, no Cialis spam at cost, no desperate emails from Classmates.com trying to drag me back to people I don’t remember—or worse, the ones I do. Strip all that away and sure, it’s tempting to picture myself sitting in an easy chair, no screen glow, no endless buzz. But simple answers are just window dressing. Let’s peel back the glass and see what’s really inside.

I can remember the feel of it—life before all this. Index cards. Library catalogs. Encyclopedias stacked like walls around a curious kid. I’d curl up in the corner of a room and lose myself in some unknown world waiting to be discovered. A flashlight, a Conan paperback, an aunt who kept my trunk stocked. My mother would walk the hall, check to see if I was asleep. I’d roll to the side, play-acting. She never called me on it. Years later, I returned the favor when my daughters pulled the same trick with Goosebumps and The Babysitters Club. Memory does this thing—it polishes the edges. We remember the warmth, not the splinters. Maybe that’s why fragments from the past glow brighter: because we need them to.

But nostalgia only tells half the story. You want the other half? Without computers, the scaffolding of modern life buckles. The power grid falters, the fridge sweats, the meds spoil, the pumps stall. Life unravels fast. You don’t have to be a doomsday prepper to see it—the dependency is baked in.

And then there’s the smaller erosion, the social kind. I asked two young men for directions not long ago. One was polite, helpful. The other? Rude enough to make me want to crush him into wine. Back in the day, you blamed the parents and moved on. Now everyone blames “the cell phone generation”—usually while scrolling their own feeds or taking selfies. Computers didn’t invent rudeness. They just gave it more stages.

So no, this isn’t an indictment. Computers didn’t ruin us. The cracks were already there long before the first home PC blinked awake. What computers did was speed it all up. Made connection instant, exposure constant. They’ve fed my family, carried my work, given me conversations with people in corners of the world I never would’ve reached otherwise. And they’ve pissed me off. As I type this, I’m smiling through the irony—I’m literally writing about life without computers while debugging a Linux distro on my desktop. It’s a love-hate relationship, and it always will be.

Music is my counterweight. Computers speed me up, music slows me down. The screen demands reaction; the record demands attention. Drop Zeppelin or Miles Davis and suddenly the world exhales. The horns breathe, the guitars stretch, and I remember that time doesn’t have to move at the pace of a notification.

So excuse me, as I sit down with my coffee, open a notebook, and let Miles play. I’ll scribble lines of prose that might become something later. And when I’m ready, I’ll boot the machine back up—fresh OS humming—ready to write, to read, to connect with friends across the world.

Life without a computer? Maybe I’ve been living both lives all along.

Litany in Black 3

2025/09/302025/09/30Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, Fiction Series, FOWC, RDP, short-story, Splinters, Word of the day, writing2 Comments

Chapter 3

Eli’s fingers hammered the Underwood, the platen ratcheting like a drumbeat inside his chest. Words crashed onto the page raw and unprocessed, each keystroke sharp as broken glass. He didn’t try to catch his thoughts; they lagged behind anyway, always scrambling, always too late. Second-guessing was for people with softer bones.

The typewriter filled the basement like a predator pacing. The ding of the carriage bell jolted him at every line, each return snap a small guillotine. He welcomed the violence. As long as the machine roared, the silence couldn’t close in and strangle him.

Behind him, Iris moved. He didn’t look—didn’t dare. He knew the sound of her presence: drawers opening, papers shifting, the glide of her feet across concrete. She spoke sometimes, soft nothings that dissolved into the cinderblock walls, too sweet to be trusted. He kept his eyes forward, certain that if he broke rhythm the spell would snap and something worse would rise.

She spoke in platitudes—surface shit that didn’t mean a damn thing, not even to the person saying it. She knew I hated them. She knew I’d rather choke on silence than fill it with low-grade noise. And after everything, don’t I rate the premium line of bull? Instead—clichés. Cheap ones. Wrong on too many levels.

The words poured, jagged and necessary. He bent closer to the keys, fingers aching, shoulders burning. The smell of paper and machine oil clogged his sinuses. His job was to write. One job. Write.

Then—click. Whirr. The clatter of vinyl.

His trance shattered. Eli shot up from the desk. “NNNNNOOOOOOO!”

The speakers coughed dust. A warped guitar riff crawled from the jukebox.

Arnold Layne had a strange hobby…

The lyric nailed him to the chair. His body froze, his heart battering too fast against his ribs. A high metallic screech tore through his skull. Somewhere in the sound he swore he heard a howl, long and low, as if the memory itself had found a voice.

The world went black.

—

He blinked awake in a different room. Bare bulb. Cracked mirror. The stink of disinfectant.

In the glass, Iris stared back—hair damp, eyes too wide, skin gone bare and bloodless.

Jonquil’s shape coalesced behind her, a figure lit by candlelight. She smiled, but her mouth never moved.

“You had one job,” Jonquil said, velvet over stone. “Keep him writing. Don’t let the memory in.”

Iris clutched the sink, knuckles white. Words failed her.

Jonquil’s gaze sharpened. “You know what happens to leaky vessels.”

The memory ripped through Iris: a Guild meeting, Uncle Bug tearing into a junior agent, the sudden hush, then the impossible sight of Bug blowing softly in the man’s direction. The agent’s outline wavered—and collapsed into vapor. The smell of iron had clung to her clothes for days.

Iris trembled. If Jonquil told Uncle, she’d be next.

—

The bar hit him like a punch—heat, smoke, neon fractured on dirty glass. Bodies surged to the music, sweat and whiskey thick in the air. Eli stood in the middle, drowning in it.

Onstage, a woman with cropped hair and a voice like gravel tore through Dead and Bloated. She wasn’t covering the song; she was burning it down and rebuilding it from ash.

Her eyes found his. She grinned, stepped off the stage, and cut through the crowd like she owned it. Her hand snared the back of his neck. She kissed him hard, tasting of blood and whiskey, breath hot with hunger.

The taste hit him like déjà vu—sharp and sweet, like a kiss he’d lived before in another life, though he had no memory of whose lips had given it.

Then she pulled back, lips almost brushing his ear. “You don’t belong here. Go back. Now.”

She shoved him. The bar collapsed, light and shadow swallowing the floor. Eli fell.

—

He jolted awake at his desk, lungs empty, head pounding. The Underwood sat waiting, a fresh sheet rolled in.

On the corner of the desk, a tabby cat licked her paw. She froze mid-motion and fixed him with a single stare.

“Meow,” she said, clipped and final, before resuming her grooming.

Eli’s hands shook as he reached forward. Beside the typewriter, on a square of yellow paper, a single word was scrawled in black ink:

Frog Creek.

The letters burned into him. His stomach turned cold.

He remembered.

Something he had sworn never to speak of again. Something only he had survived.

The typewriter, the cat, even the walls felt suddenly foreign—no shelter at all, just a trap waiting to close.

Why was it surfacing now?

Author’s Note

When I released Litany in Black, my editor didn’t mince words. The call was short and sharp: “I want more.” So here it is—the next chapter, pulled from the dark seam where memory, myth, and madness overlap.

This piece draws on three of my favorite community sparks: FOWC, RDP, and Word of the Day. Those prompts slip into the prose the way shadows slide into corners, sometimes obvious, sometimes hidden in plain sight. If you caught them, you’re paying attention. If not, maybe the story is working on you the way it should—sly, unsettling, creeping in under the skin.

Chapter 3 is about fracture—Eli caught between the rush of creation and the trap of memory, Iris learning that mistakes echo louder than excuses, Jonquil tightening her grip on both. Frog Creek has finally bled through the page, and with it, the reminder that some stories don’t just haunt you; they claim you.

To those following along, thank you for walking with me into the dark. The deeper we go, the less clear the ground beneath us becomes—but that’s the only way to find out what’s waiting on the other side.

The Details That Keep Me Here

2025/09/30Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2077, life, love, mental health, The Daily's, writing4 Comments

Learning to Trade Control for Presence

Daily writing prompt

What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

View all responses

Looking back, I see the shift clear as day. In 2023, I leaned hard on control—details, contingencies, the belief that if I just tightened the screws enough, nothing could come loose. By 2024, the screws had already rattled out, and I was staring down a kind of fragility I’d never known before.

One year, I was convincing myself discipline was enough. Next, I was joking about my “part-dragon phase” just to soften the gut-punch of realizing I’m flesh and blood like everyone else. What hasn’t changed is the truth at the center: the details I need to pay attention to aren’t the external ones. They’re internal—the quiet daily choices that keep me alive, standing, and present with the people who’d notice if I wasn’t.

That’s not the answer I wanted to give, but it’s the only one that matters.

For most of my life, I’ve been the kind of person who sweats the details. I suppose it grew out of fear—fear of making a mistake, fear of letting something slip. My default mode was to be squared away: backup plans layered on top of contingency plans, every angle covered, every risk accounted for. If you’d asked me back then what details I needed to pay more attention to, I would’ve shrugged and said, “None. I’ve got it handled.”

But then life came along with its own set of details I couldn’t spreadsheet or strong-arm my way through. Health issues hit, and with them came changes I didn’t ask for and didn’t want. At first, I fell into my usual pattern—pretend control, mask the cracks, mutter “fuck it” when the new limits pressed too hard. But weakness has a way of humbling you. For the first time, I wasn’t sure how things would turn out.

That’s when my circle—the family I chose—stepped in. They reminded me I wasn’t done fighting, even when my body said otherwise. I’m not used to relying on anyone, but I learned to lean when I had to. It turns out that those details matter just as much as the ones I used to obsess over.

So what do I need to pay more attention to? The unglamorous, invisible stuff: eating better, resting when I should, saying no before I collapse, listening to my people when they call me on my bullshit. All the little choices that keep me here, present, and alive.

It’s tempting to say I’m doing this just for myself, and on some level that’s true. But it isn’t lost on me that my brothers, my friends, my people—they want me around too. There’s nothing better than feeling that kind of love. And honestly, I’m getting too old to risk another beating, figurative or otherwise.

The Inkwell Rider

2025/09/292025/09/29Posted in SplintersTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, FSS, short-story, Splinters, writing8 Comments

The pounding at the front door began long after midnight. Each blow was deliberate and unhurried, like the careful stroke of a sculptor’s chisel against glass. Not a summons but a demand. Brazen. Insistent.

He didn’t rise. He lay still in the attic room, letting the sound seep into him, inevitable as tide against stone. He counted the interval between strikes until his heartbeat followed the rhythm. The house trembled. Thunder muttered beyond the horizon, folding the knock into something larger—an unmeasured tide, washing through the marrow of his bones.

Then the room split open. He stood on a windswept shore. Salt spray stung his lips; the wind tasted of copper and regret. Mist curled along the sea, thin as gauze, trembling as if it hid another world.

A horse exhaled. Its breath rolled heavy as storm clouds, hooves thudding like a buried drum. Damp wool and brine clung to the air. He tasted fear, sharp and metallic, like sucking a coin.

Through the haze came a glint of battered armor—silver rubbed to pewter, seams cracked, catching light from a sun that didn’t exist. The rider’s silhouette wavered, impossibly tall, visor down, face unreadable.

The pounding at the door merged with hoofbeats. Frost rimed his lashes. His boots sank into sand that softened into ink, black and iridescent as beetle shell. The rider advanced, and with each step the sea receded, exposing bones and wire in the seabed’s muck. The air stank of rot and possibility.

A question swelled in his throat, too heavy to voice. Another strike at the door—and the dream collapsed.

He jolted upright at his desk. Shelves stood skeletal, spines stripped bare. Dust clung stubbornly to the air, as if the room refused to surrender its memories.

Only the inkwell remained. Obsidian glass, gleaming like a pool of midnight.

It spoke—not in words but as a tremor in his bones: You are the one I belong to.

Ink leapt upward, coiling into the suggestion of a figure, a face more idea than flesh. Its eyes were ancient and exact, pinning him to his chair.

Are you the writer? The question was absurd and infinite.

The shelves rattled as though books clawed to return. Each knock at the door struck like a punctuation mark, vibrating his jaw.

The room thinned. Corners bent inward. He clapped his hands to his ears, but the pounding only burrowed deeper, lodging itself behind his temples, merging with the pulse behind his eyes.

He tried to stand but found himself rooted. The ink-figure grew, head brushing the ceiling, mouth curling in some half-expression—amusement, hunger, pity.

In the mirror above the desk, his reflection wept. Ink streamed from its sockets, streaking cheeks until the face dissolved into a blur.

The whisper gained teeth. Are you the writer? Answer. Answer. ANSWER.

His tongue flooded with ink, bitter as spoiled wine. He gagged, then finally let the words tumble out, steady as confession:
“Yes. I am the writer. I am the Muse.”

For an instant, silence. The sea stilled. The door hushed. The world held its breath.

But silence bears weight. And weight cracks.

The pounding resumed—faster, furious, like a heart hammering against bone. Shelves pitched forward, gnashing their empty spines. The rider’s visor leaked tar; waves behind him thickened into oil. Seafoam crawled across the rug.

The lamp shrank to a pinprick. Walls bowed outward, then snapped back, leaving him gasping.

He clutched the inkwell. Its glass was fever-hot, pulsing like it contained a second heart. Each knock rattled his skull, more intimate now, less house than body.

He tried to scream, but ink poured out, running down his chin, soaking his shirt. The inkwell slipped and shattered. The spill spread, black and inexorable, birthing the rider whole, towering, boots leaving prints that hissed as they seared into the rug.

He dropped to his knees. Through the cracks between floorboards, he glimpsed writhing shadows—half-finished stories, worlds waiting for permission. The window rattled behind him, panes shaking like teeth in a jaw.

The pounding stopped.

Silence swallowed the room. Every particle of air strained toward the door. A gauntleted hand hovered just beyond the wood. The whisper softened, almost tender: Are you the writer?

He staggered forward, each step leaving an ink-black footprint. His hand shook on the knob, slick with sweat. The ceiling sagged, the house groaning as if it would collapse if he refused.

He swallowed fear and turned the handle.

No pounding. Only the slow, splintering sigh of wood.

The door was not being knocked upon.

It was being opened.

Author’s Note:
Thanks to Fandango for another amazing Fandango’s Story Starter #218 (FSS) prompt. Some doors you knock on, others knock on you. This one wouldn’t stop pounding until I opened it. Funny how a single line can spiral into something that feels less like a story and more like a confession in ink. Appreciate the spark, Fandango — and the reminder that prompts aren’t just exercises; sometimes they’re invitations we can’t ignore.

No Punk in Me

2025/09/29Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2076, life, love, mental health, The Daily's, writing6 Comments

On anniversaries, admin work, and the grit to keep moving.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?

View all responses

The end of the month always brings a surge in paperwork. Spreadsheets, backend checks, the kind of admin work that keeps my websites standing upright instead of collapsing in a heap of missed updates and broken links. Usually, I keep pace. But this month — hell, these last two months — I’ve been dragging. Emotion takes its toll, and when it hits, it doesn’t just knock you down; it scrapes off your momentum.

And tomorrow isn’t just the end of the month. It’s the anniversary of my wife’s death — the moment that split my life into three acts: the life before, the life during, the life after. Some years, I handle it better. Some years, it feels like the wound was carved just yesterday. But I’ve learned forgetting isn’t the goal. The point is remembering fully. Letting myself feel the pain, the joy, the sorrow, all tangled together in the memories that built me.

Funny thing is, she’d probably put her foot up my backside for the way I’ve been living. Can’t say I’d blame her. I’d probably kick my own ass, too. I remember the man I was, and I see the man I’ve become. Some parts I’m proud of; other times, I just shake my head at the mess I’ve gotten myself into. Jackass comes to mind more often than I’d like to admit.

I catch myself wondering who I’d be if she hadn’t died. Better? Happier? Maybe just more ornery — that last one feels like a safe bet. (Truth is, the orneriness has been growing by the day, and I’ve made my peace with it.)

But here’s what I know: no matter what might have been, this is the life I’ve got. The work still waits. The words still demand to be written. The fight — for the things I believe in, for the things I’ve spent my life creating — hasn’t gone anywhere.

So yes, tomorrow there will be admin. There will be memories, some sharp enough to cut, others soft enough to cradle. There will be the temptation to run from the ache, to hide in distraction or numbness. But my mama didn’t raise no punk. I’ll remember. I’ll work. I’ll fight. And I’ll laugh at myself along the way, because wisdom without humor is just another burden.

Author’s Note:
Grief never leaves — it just changes costumes. Some days it appears as silence, some days as laughter, and some days as the sharp edge of memory. But I’ve learned to live with it, and sometimes even laugh at it. Tomorrow will hurt, but it’ll also remind me why I keep showing up for the work and the fight. That’s how I honor her and myself.

Respect Isn’t Rescue

2025/09/292025/09/28Posted in ProseTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Prose, Sunday Poser, writing11 Comments

On Quiet Power, Unfinished Equality, and Knowing When to Step Aside

Women have been shaping the world from the quiet corners for as long as there’s been a world to shape. History loves its kings and loudmouths, but look closer and you’ll see the fingerprints of women everywhere—deals struck over kitchen tables, revolutions whispered into motion, empires shifted by a single word.

The damsel-in-distress? Pure fiction. Every woman I’ve known has been a strategist or a survivor. I was raised by women, so I never bought the stereotype. My mother, aunts, and grandmothers ran their worlds with a precision that left no room for excuses.

That lesson stuck. My daughters and granddaughters get no slack because they’re women—the only pass they get is being mine, and even that expires fast. I’ve watched women pick up the slack when men fall short, holding things together while someone else grabs the credit. And still, women are underestimated in ways I’ll never understand. The proof stands right in front of us, yet people squint as if strength needs permission to be real.

I saw it firsthand in the military. Equality is improving, but the gap is still wide. A striking new soldier joined our unit, and the guys forgot every rule of conduct, circling her like moths while she tried to learn her job.
So I played the villain. I called people out, made her untouchable, and turned would-be defenders into cautionary tales. I hated doing it, but it gave her room to breathe. Her father was a command boss I’d butted heads with, so I expected trouble. Instead, we ended up on good terms, a quiet truce born from protecting his kid. She and I became friends, and years later, I still get the occasional text or Facebook update from her and the husband I once terrorized.

Long before marriage, an older woman once told me over beers, “If I can’t get what I want with a look and a smile, I’m not doing my job.” Back then, I didn’t get it. Marriage cleared that up. My wife could hold an entire conversation with a single glance, seal the verdict with a faint smile, and I’d move before she spoke—remembering that barroom oracle and chuckling while carrying out silent orders.

Here’s the tricky part: as much as I know the women in my life can handle themselves, the instinct to defend them never leaves. But that impulse can backfire. Sometimes the smartest move is to pick your battles, stay alert, and trust their strength. Respect isn’t rescue—it’s giving credit, stepping aside, and making sure the field is clear when they swing the hammer themselves.

Even after a lifetime of their guidance, I still don’t have a clue how women work. They tell me that all the time. I just smile, nod, and keep doing my chores. History is finally, grudgingly, starting to catch up.

Author’s Note
I like Sunday Poser’s questions. They make me think—probably more than they should, but think nonetheless. Anything that stirs the mind is a good thing. So, thanks to Sadje for providing these tremendous challenges.

Burnt Coffee & Time Machines

2025/09/26Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, books, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2073, Fiction, life, The Daily's, writer's life, writers on writing, writing2 Comments

Daily writing prompt

List three jobs you’d consider pursuing if money didn’t matter.

View all responses

When I first answered this question years ago, I leaned into time travel, jukeboxes, and 24-hour diners. Those images still live in me—they always will—but retirement has shifted my perspective. Now it isn’t about dreaming up another job so much as embracing what I already do: writing, creating art, and taking pictures.

People love to say, “If you do something you love, you never work a day in your life.” I’ve always liked the sound of that, though I know now it isn’t quite true. Writing and art have been part of me most of my life, and while I love them, they demand work—grinding, detailed, sometimes thankless work. The pride comes not from sidestepping that effort, but from doing it anyway and still loving the process enough to come back the next day. That’s the real magic.

Although I’m still tinkering with my time machine in the basement, for now, time travel lives inside my stories. That’s the gift of the page: step through, and suddenly you’re anywhere. And while the dream of owning a 24-hour diner never happened, I still sometimes write in one. The booths are cracked, the coffee burnt, and the danish usually stale—but if you show up before the morning rush, you might catch a fresh pastry and, better yet, a pocket of quiet. The hum of neon, the shuffle of strangers, and the early-morning stillness create a kind of portal of their own.

So maybe I never needed to own the diner. Perhaps it was always enough to sit in the corner with a notebook, bad coffee, and the ache of possibility in the air—time traveling in my own way.

Author’s Note:
The older I get, the more I realize it’s not about finding the perfect job, but finding the space where your imagination can keep breathing. Whether it’s a chipped mug in a half-empty diner, or the quiet corner of your own basement where “impossible” machines get built, what matters is the work you return to—the thing that keeps you curious. For me, that’s the page, the image, the story. The grind and the magic are inseparable.

Reflective Prompt:
Where do you find your own “time machine”—the place, habit, or ritual that lets you slip out of ordinary time and into the work (or play) you love, even when it demands effort?

Keeping It Old School—One Repair at a Time

2025/09/24Posted in The Daily'sTagged blog, Creative Living, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2071, life, Life Lessons, love, mental health, writing6 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What brands do you associate with?

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When I was a kid, brands were a kind of social currency. Clothes weren’t just fabric; they were shorthand for who you were. Madre Khan didn’t have much, but she made sure I never went hungry or without a place to sleep. Back then, I thought the right label could hide the lean years. We lived through the “generic” craze—plain white packaging, bargain prices—and adults preached, “You pay for what you get. Quality costs.” It felt like gospel.

For years I carried those lessons forward. My loyalties were automatic: Dickies for everyday wear, Logitech for office gear, Apple for everything but my phone. I even joked about being a brand whore, because at least I knew why I liked what I liked. My stepmother once shook her head at how casually I spent, but I’d tell her I bought what I needed and rarely worried about price. Quality justified the tab.

Lately, the gospel rings hollow. The “solid” names I grew up trusting don’t always deliver. Prices climb, quality slips, and you can’t put a price on quality now sounds like something printed on the inside of a fortune cookie. More than once, a no-name hard drive or keyboard has outperformed the legacy brand at half the cost.

These days I notice another shift. I own plenty of off-brand gear that works just fine for what I need. Retirement changes the math: I don’t need professional-grade tools anymore, but the ones I have will serve until they die. I used to research only within the circle of names I trusted; now the field is so crowded you watch the distributor more than the logo. Even established vendors let quality control slide, which often leaves me repairing old equipment or building my own replacement. I don’t buy desks or bookshelves anymore—I build them. I’ve started refurbishing old furniture and appliances with lower-grade tools and find the process oddly satisfying.

Just today I paused mid-essay to repair an outdoor extension cord. A simple fix would’ve done the job, but I couldn’t resist the upgrade—added roughly twenty-five feet for good measure. It’s a small thing, but it says a lot: why settle for a patch when you can quietly rewrite the boundaries of your backyard? Somewhere, Madre Khan is smiling at the sight of me splicing wires with the same patient curiosity she once showed when I tore things apart for parts.

I still research before I buy, but loyalty no longer seals the deal. If a nameless drive stores my files without complaint, it wins. If a plain keyboard keeps up with my writing, I don’t care whose badge sits on the box. The brands I associate with now aren’t names—they’re the ones that keep their promises.

Maybe that’s the real lesson: value isn’t in the logo, it’s in the follow-through. Childhood taught me to chase quality. Adulthood taught me to measure it myself. These days my motto is simple—get the most bang for the buck and enjoy the build along the way.

Confessions of an Insomniac – Episode 2: Mainlining Caffeine

2025/09/23Posted in ProseTagged books, creative process, creative writing, daily exercise, dailyprompt, dailyprompt-2070, life, mental health, The Daily's, writer's life, writing2 Comments

Daily writing prompt

What could you do more of?

View all responses

Sleep and I are estranged lovers—centuries of cold shoulders and midnight betrayals between us.
Sleep is like that perfect lover we imagine we could find, but do we really want perfection? Knowing that perfection is something for shitbirds and affirmation junkies. There’s no help for the shitbirds, but the affirmation junkies—there’s a new 5 a.m. virtual meeting. I think that’s the word. Who knows? I can’t keep up. Hell, I can’t even get up.
If we reconciled now, the shock might kill us both—like a jolt of mainlined caffeine through a cracked vein.

I could try being nicer to people. Be giddy, even. (Insert laugh track here.) But no—perish the thought. Niceness feels suspicious, like a door-to-door guru peddling enlightenment for the price of my dignity.

The writer in me says write more, which is hilarious because I already write every damn day. My editor swears I start a new series just to watch her eye twitch. Sometimes she sends me texts that are just a single, vibrating ellipsis. I plead the Fifth. She rolls her eyes so hard I can hear it over the phone.
The other day she asked, “When are you going to take the next step? You know you’re ready, right?”
Maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s time I believe in myself a little more—have faith in the work I keep throwing into the world like sparks from a stubborn match.

Still, there’s something quietly miraculous about creating work you love and finding out strangers love it too. For years, I didn’t have the time—raising a family will eat decades before you can blink. (Contrary to the baffling opinions of certain buttwipes who think parenting is optional.)

But the thing I’d truly like to do more of? Pay attention to my art. Not for money, not for likes—just to see how far I can push it. No limits, no internal hang-ups, none of the flimsy excuses we invent to dodge our own passions. Retirement has made one thing clear: I’m a storyteller. Always have been. Every skill I’ve picked up—writing, photography, film work, design—has been another star in the same battered sky, flickering through the smog of burnt coffee and late-night keystrokes. Each one lights a different corner of the story. Perhaps it’s time to stop forcing the tale into a single constellation and let the stars arrange themselves, allowing the story to decide whether it shines as prose, image, film, or sound.

As I write this, it begs the question… What if?
What if I let go and took the plunge? Will doubt finally fall away? Will I edge closer to whatever version of me is hiding under all this noise—no matter how cleverly I might hide myself?
Not to get hippy-dippy, but isn’t that the engine under all of this—the quiet force beneath the surface, behind the mask we flash to the world?
Excuse me while I glue my mask back together. They don’t epoxy like they used to. Progress my ass.

Maybe sleep will keep sulking in the corner. Fine. I’ll keep mapping my own constellations until the night runs out of darkness.
Sleep can wait. Niceness can rot. The story gets every last hour I have.

Litany in Black 2

2025/09/23Posted in SplintersTagged creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, FSS, short-story, Splinters, WDYS, writing13 Comments

Chapter 2

The bed had held her like a warm conspiracy—pillows swallowing her shoulders with their downy weight, linen softened by last night’s restless turns. Lantern light pooled in amber halos on the walls, quivering against damp wood. Four hours of sleep after eighteen-hour days should have grounded her for a week, but her body insisted on rebellion. Awake again, she sat upright, toes grazing the cool floorboards, eyes blinking against the dim glow. The tang of office coffee still clung to her tongue: a bitter echo of burnt midnight oil and water-thin sludge, the kind that left her stomach knotted but kept her nerves humming like exposed wiring.

She dragged a chair across the cabin with deliberate care—the legs scraping in protest—and perched at the balcony’s edge. The night air bit her bare arms, each shiver sharpening her senses. Beyond the railing, the mountains stood silent, dark ridges pressed like secrets into the horizon. The lake lay flat as polished obsidian, mirroring bruised clouds of early dawn. Across the glassy water, an old man in a faded plaid shirt painted the silence. His brush moved in slow, patient arcs, each stroke less about color than stitching the world back together, as if he fought gravity and time with bristles and oil.

“Are you just going to sit there, peeking out the window? That’s rude, you know?” A voice cracked through the quiet like a shot glass on stone. Jonquil’s heart jerked—her pulse thundering behind her ribs. For a moment, she blamed the sleepless haze—too many nights hunched over microfiche, eyes stinging under the sterile hum of library projectors, chasing Frog Creek’s ghosts through brittle ’30s newsprint. Dead ends, coy smiles from locals who treated the story like a campfire riddle.

“Bring some coffee and a glass of water while you’re at it,” the voice added, dry as driftwood.

Her gaze flicked back to the painter. He hadn’t paused, but she was certain the brim of his floppy hat dipped—a slow, knowing nod cast in shadow. Words felt heavy, too sluggish to catch. She slipped off the chair, the floorboards groaning like reluctant witnesses, and padded to the kitchenette. She measured the coffee grounds by instinct, water steaming in two battered mugs. She filled two slender glasses with cool spring water. Even before she carried the tray back, the earthy tang of brewed coffee rose to meet her, promising clarity.

As she stepped into the painting’s quiet domain, the tray trembling slightly in her hands, a thought flared: What the hell am I doing? She set the tray on a rough-hewn table beside the painter and stepped back into the flicker of lantern light.

“What took you so long?” he muttered around a sip, not looking up—then slowly raised his head and found himself staring down the barrel of her .40-caliber Smith & Wesson. The metal gleamed silver in the lamplight.

He froze. Recognition bloomed in his eyes, calm as a breeze off the lake. He tilted his head, then—deliberately—brought the coffee cup to his lips. The steam curled around his weathered face before he met her gaze.

“Jonquil! You old firebrand—you scared the hell out of me!”

Her chest unclenched in one rush of relief, fury, and love warring beneath her ribs. She lowered the gun with a shaky exhale, the weight of it receding like a tide.

“Are you gonna give me a hug,” he drawled, “or should I start feeling offended?”

“Offended, of course,” she muttered, stepping forward.

He rose with a groan of old joints, arms outstretched. His paint-stained palms smelled of turpentine and lake mist. She hesitated a heartbeat—then melted into the solid warmth of his embrace. His arms were rough bark, familiar and unyielding.

They held each other while the mountains bore silent witness. Bug kissed her temple, then eased back to study her face under the brim of his hat.

“Tell me about the writer,” he said, voice low. “Is he writing?”

“I made contact,” Jonquil replied, voice soft with pride. “It’s begun.”

“Good. How long before he’s ready?” Bug asked, tone businesslike as he sipped his coffee.

“I’m not rushing him. He’ll be ready when he’s ready,” she snapped, the heat in her words betraying more than she intended.

Bug spread his paint-stained hands in mock surrender, a crooked smile flickering at his beard’s edge.

“Actually, Uncle…I’m glad you’re here,” she added, calmer now, raising her mug. The coffee was strong, bitter—and it steadied her pulse.

They fell into silence, watching dawn bleed into the sky while the lake held its reflection like a promise.

“Tell me about Frog Creek,” she said finally.

Bug jolted, coffee sloshing against his knuckles. His eyes sharpened, horror and determination flickering in the same breath.

“Don’t ask questions that need answers, Jonquil,” he growled, the words rough as gravel.

She swallowed the last of her coffee without flinching, letting his warning sink deep. A faint smile ghosted across her lips. “That’s it,” she said, each word measured. “We’re getting to it.”

Bug’s jaw flexed, unease rippling beneath weathered skin. The lake’s hush pressed in on them, but between the two of them, the silence crackled.

“Did you make contact personally, or one of your people?” Bug asked.

“My agent in the city,” Jonquil replied, cool and distant as gathered smoke.

Bug’s eyes narrowed. “Not Iris, I hope? That woman’ll have you jumping around barking like a dog for sport!”

Jonquil snorted, a half-laugh. She risked a glance at him, the corner of her mouth twitching with reluctant agreement.

—

In the bookstore’s basement, Iris leaned against a battered jukebox, fingertip tracing dusty chrome. The air was thick with mildew, ink, and the metallic tang of old wiring. Fluorescent bulbs flickered overhead, humming like restless spirits.

“I wonder if this thing still works,” she murmured, voice low. A manicured nail tapped a faded title card: Arnold Layne. A slow smile curled her lips as she mouthed the name, eyes bright.

She pressed a button. A dull click echoed, gears whirring beneath the dust. Vinyl clattered into place.

“Don’t—don’t you dare—” Eli’s voice shredded the gloom. Boots scuffed concrete as he lunged from the shadows, sweat beading his forehead under the dim light.

Iris turned, cool as midnight, watching him approach. She let the speakers crackle to life, a warped guitar riff slicing through the air like a knife.

Eli halted, breath caught in his throat. The sound held him hostage, every nerve taut as a plucked wire.

“Arnold Layne had a strange hobby…” The lyric spilled from the small speakers, tinny and inevitable. Dust motes swirled in the beam of flickering light, drifting like lost memories.

Iris tilted her head, eyes never leaving his face—waiting for the moment the past would snap into focus.

—

On the far side of the lake, Jonquil froze mid-sip. At first she thought it was the scrape of dawn against stone, but then—faint, distorted, impossible—the opening riff of Arnold Layne crawled through the air like static on a dying radio.

Her hand tightened on the mug, knuckles whitening. Goosebumps blossomed along her arms as the melody haunted the silent morning.

“Way too soon, Iris,” she breathed.

Bug’s brush scratched canvas in steady strokes, oblivious—or willfully blind—to the tremor in her voice.

But the song lingered, a ghost bridging two worlds, threading Jonquil’s dread to Eli’s terror. The mountains exhaled around them, and the lake held its breath.

Author’s Note:
My editor called me after I released Litany in Black and simply said, “I want more!” So here’s the next chapter. I drew from Sadje’s WDYS #307 for the scenery and Fandango’s Story Starter #217 for inspiration.

As always, prompts like these push the story into corners I might not explore alone. Noir breathes in silence, in warnings half-heard, in the places where memory and dread overlap. That’s where Jonquil, Bug, Iris, and Eli are circling now.

If you’re new here, Litany in Black is part experiment, part confession: prompts, noir atmosphere, and a little madness stitched into something ongoing. If you’ve been here before, you know the deal—the coffee’s bitter, the ghosts don’t rest, and the story is never safe.

Thanks to Sadje and Fandango for throwing fuel on the fire. And thanks to you for reading, following the litany deeper.

Litany in Black

2025/09/212025/09/21Posted in FictionTagged creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, FOWC, RDP, romance, short-story, Splinters, Word of the day, writing6 Comments

Rain glazed the neon crescent above Second Moon Books until it gleamed like a razor’s edge slicing through the night. Elias Moreau’s fingers trembled as he flipped the weathered placard to CLOSED. The paint on the letters bled, fading faster every September—as though some unseen smart-ass on the other side of the door was trying to erase the word before last call.

Inside, the air carried the sour bite of old glue and the metallic tang that seeped up from the subway grates. A crooked chalkboard behind the register wore last week’s proclamation in smudged white chalk:
BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT – A FULL WEEK OF HORROR & HOPEFUL DREAD
A Tribute to Stephen King

Eli’s pulse ticked in time with the neon strobe outside. Every year he staged this seven-day ritual for King, the undisputed monarch of macabre wonder. King’s uncanny magic felt almost domestic, like discovering an old friend hiding in the crawlspace. But Gordon Weaver—now that was a different kind of haunt. Weaver carved the American family like a butcher who’d gone to seminary, exposing grudges and betrayals with a quiet precision that left scar tissue. Friends nodded politely at Eli’s King obsession but flinched at Weaver’s hushed horrors, as if the silence of a fractured household couldn’t follow them home harder than a demon ever could.

Counting bills at the till, Eli listened to the upstairs dehumidifier hum and a distant patrol siren wail. The shop was empty—until the door chime rang.
One polite jingle.
He froze, chest tightening, waiting for the echo that never came.

A damp breath rose from the basement stairs. Twelve years of half-formed chapters and midnight revisions leaned against a dented Underwood down there, sulking. He’d promised himself an extra hour—maybe two—before trudging home. Perhaps he’d finally finish the scene about a stranger who knocks after hours, demanding a book that doesn’t exist.

The bell chimed again, louder this time.

He jerked his head toward the door. Beyond the glass, a wet silhouette lingered: coat collar turned up, hat brim low—someone who moved like yesterday’s regret. A third jangle, brittle and hollow, and the lock clicked itself open. A gust of rain-scented air swept in, carrying a soft undercurrent of cedar. Then she stepped across the threshold.

She was impeccable, as if traced by a meticulous pen. Mid-forties maybe, but she wore her age like a tailored alibi—each line on her face an elegant footnote. Dark hair, slick with rain, clung to the sharp planes of her cheeks. Her long coat shimmered under the flickering fluorescents. But it was her eyes—gray, or green, the light shifting like a flame—that snagged him and refused to let go.

A needle-sharp ache blossomed beneath his sternum, radiating into his left arm. Heart attack, his mind hissed. He slammed a hand on the counter, breathing ragged, every inhale a serrated blade.

She paused just inside the door, lips curving in a small, almost tender smile. He didn’t know her—he was sure of that—but some buried page of his past fluttered to life. Familiar and impossible in the same breath.

“You okay?” Her voice was low, calm—the kind you’d use to coax a frightened animal out of traffic.

He nodded too fast. “ I-I’m fine. Long day. Sale week.” The words tasted like he’d chewed them wrong.

Her smile deepened, unreadable. She turned toward the chalkboard, fingertips trailing through the chalk dust. BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT – A FULL WEEK OF HORROR & HOPEFUL DREAD…

“Do you still read Gordon Weaver?” she asked, voice soft as velvet smoke.

The name hit him like a dropped stone. Weaver wasn’t on the board. He hadn’t said that name aloud in months.

“How… how do you know about Weaver?” he stammered.

Her eyes glinted with something not quite amusement. “Oh, Eli,” she breathed. “You always did love a good story.”

Weaver: Count a Lonely Cadence, the battered paperback he’d rescued at a college sale, pages yellowed and reeking of cigarettes. Weaver peeled back the American family like skin from bone—quiet betrayals, unsaid resentments, love rotting in plain sight. Then Such Waltzing Was Not Easy dragged him deeper, mapping small domestic wars in brutal intimacy. No demons, no ghosts, just everyday hauntings that never left his marrow.

Now this rain-soaked stranger spoke Weaver’s name as though she’d plucked it from the private margins of his soul.

“Have we… met?” he asked, voice smaller than he felt.

“Not in the way you mean.” She stepped closer, eyes roving the shop’s towers of paperbacks and the narrow aisles of hardcovers balanced like drunk skyscrapers. “You look familiar.”

He swallowed. “Or maybe you’re a character I’ve been writing for years.”

Her smile flickered—a blade wrapped in silk. His chest flared, nerves taut with something like fear or longing or the first line of a story he couldn’t put down.

An echo of his own unfinished draft whispered through his mind: She enters like a paragraph he rewrote a hundred times and could never perfect. Named only by his yearning for her to hurt him.

The shop inhaled. Somewhere beneath their feet, the basement typewriter began to tap—slow, deliberate keystrokes spelling out a narrative Eli no longer commanded.

She gestured toward the narrow stairwell. “Shall we?”

The basement smelled of damp brick and stubborn paper. She eased into the swivel chair beside his desk and crossed one elegant leg over the other. From some unseen pocket, she produced a long cigarette holder—old Hollywood glamour in a room that smelled like busted neon dreams. She slid a thin cigarette into the mouthpiece, fingers steady, and lit it with a soft gesture. Smoke curled around her like a velvet sermon.

Above them, the Underwood sprang to life, keys clattering in a jagged, confident rhythm. Each strike was a heartbeat in steel. The carriage dinged, bright and final. With every mechanical echo, the vise around Eli’s ribcage loosened, the stabbing ache receding to a dull throb. He inhaled freely at last.

“Iris Devine,” he whispered—the name he’d once given a character who refused to stay on the page.

She watched through the smoke, eyes glimmering with triumph. “Have you figured it out yet?”

The typing slowed. A new line appeared:

The writer clutched his chest as the pain returned, sharp as a rusted nail. Would the story kill him before the final word?

Eli’s breath caught. His knees trembled. Darkness edged in.

“Oh, Eli… darling, you can stop this. You know,” Iris whispered, leaning close, breath a warm brush against his ear.

Keys clattered again—then the ding of the carriage returned, harsh as a gavel.

“Eli,” she said, voice closer still, “I know who you are.”

The typewriter fell silent.

“Who am I?” she asked, tilting her head.

“You’re… a character. You can’t be real. This must be a delusion—right?”

Her smile sharpened, sudden and fierce. “Then why are you bleeding inside one?”

She pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, then a slow, deliberate lick that left warm proof on his skin.

“You feel that? Real enough for you, darling? Be a dear and fetch me something to drink—bourbon, if you have it.”

He stumbled toward the stairs—and above him, glass shattered.
He wheeled around. The chair was empty. In its place, a ghost of smoke curled where she’d sat.

“Darling, you need to come upstairs—hurry,” her voice drifted down from the shop above.

He climbed into the main room to find broken glass strewn across the floor. A lone policeman stood by the register, uniform soaked, cap pulled low.

“Elias Moreau?” The officer’s voice was soft, almost uncertain.

“Can I help you, officer?” Eli’s hand dove beneath the counter, grasping the cold comfort of an old revolver. He cleared his throat, voice steady. “Step back.”

The man froze, rain dripping from his shoulders. Eli’s finger curled on the trigger—then he exhaled and let the gun clatter onto the countertop. Instead, his hand found something heavier: the knowledge that stories kill cleaner than bullets.

The shop flickered—
And when he blinked, everything was normal.
No broken glass.
No officer.
Only a dark, wet outline on the floorboards where the stranger had stood.

A single ding drifted up from below.

Eli descended again.
Iris sat beside the desk, sipping bourbon, a neat stack of crisp pages at her elbow. A half-empty tumbler caught the amber light. She raised it in a silent toast.

“Welcome back, darling.”

He slid a fresh sheet into the typewriter. The carriage clicked forward, awaiting his command. His fingers hovered—then struck, each letter unfolding with deliberate clarity.

CHAPTER 1

Writing has always been bigger than the writer and the story.
A kind of theology.
The religion between the writer and the story is a spell cast upon them.
The reader sits back and deciphers this literary kung fu.

Writing is a living theology.
A way of life, not just an ideal misunderstood by its practitioners.
Something real, and genuine. Something absolute.
The page is a pulpit, the keys a busted rosary, each prayer hammered out like it owes you rent.

Iris placed her hand on Eli’s arm, warm and insistent.
“Do you know,” she said softly, “that a marmot will chew through its own trap rather than stay caged? Writers should do the same.”

Her thumb traced a slow circle on his sleeve.
“Don’t be the marmot that gnaws in silence. Write until the steel bends for you.”

The typewriter answered with a single, eager ding.

Eli exhaled, a small, resolute smile breaking through the shadows on his face.
“This is where I belong.”

She rose with unhurried grace, smoke trailing like a benediction.

“I’ll put on the coffee,” she said.

The Underwood offered one final, gentle ding—a promise, not an ending.

Author’s Note

Today is Stephen King’s birthday, so I decided to play around with the supernatural and other weird stuff.
The prompt words used today were theology, marmot, and literacy.
Again, as always, thank you, FOWC, RDP, and Word of the Day for your inspiration.

The Monument’s Silence

2025/09/202025/10/06Posted in Dispatches from the Splinters of My MindTagged creative writing, daily exercise, Dispatches, fantasy, Fiction, Fiction Series, romance, short-story, writing8 Comments

Entry Eight: Dispatches from the Splinters of My Mind

The face hung over her as a dead moon would, immense and inert, plastered to the sky with the obscene permanence of a fossilized wound. It was not sculpted in the image of any god she recognized, nor did it bear the standard of a people desperate to placate the furies or worship their own reflection. Instead, it hovered on the edge of intent and accident—a precipice suspended in time, inevitability chiseled into every brute angle of the jaw. Each block that made up the visage was a shorn-off shard, ash-gray and rough-edged, but arranged so that the fractures and pitting created a ragged, almost animate skin. From a distance, the monument looked inert, but on approach it seemed to lean forward, as if gravity bent toward its own creation.

Up close, the surface shimmered with a faint, sickly gloss, not the result of centuries of wind polishing, but rather something more insidious: a hidden moisture, as though the stone itself exhaled condensation from a deep, slow-breathing lung buried far beneath the earth. The closer she drew, the more this exudation gleamed in the dying light, slicking her hand when she dared to stretch her trembling fingers only an inch from the surface. She jerked her hand away before contact, an involuntary spasm of repulsion, and it seemed to her that the stone recoiled as well, as if momentarily startled by her nearness.

The face’s hollow orbits, each deeper than a well and rimmed in a thousand years’ worth of wind-scoured dust, were not empty but filled with a red so saturated and unyielding that it was neither liquid nor illumination, but a third thing—a dense, coagulating radiance. This red bled outward in precise tracks, each line adhering to a groove so deliberate it made her stomach clench. At dusk, when the world’s colors flattened and the boundary between flesh and stone blurred, these rivulets painted the entire monument as if it wept a world’s worth of dying embers.

Beneath the eyes, the mouth was a gash so perfectly aligned that it projected neither malice nor welcome—simply a vacancy so absolute it wrenched at her. It did not pass judgment or offer answers, but waited in a silence that felt more like appraisal than apathy. When she stared at it, she became conscious of her own tongue, the dryness of her palate, the faint click of her teeth as her jaw tensed in counterpoint to the stone’s passive oblivion. For an instant, she lost the distinction between her own face and the monument’s, as though she were gazing at her own effigy, erected by hands who’d never known her and cared nothing for her likeness.

The statue was girdled by a ring of spines—pillars, each twelve feet high, tilting like teeth around the perimeter. Their faces were gouged by runes shallow and erratic, as if clawed by a desperate hand that knew it must leave a mark, but lacked time or understanding to encode more than a warning. When she turned her head just so, a vibration juddered through her jaw and teeth—a resonance that not only bypassed air but seemed to travel directly through calcified matter. It was not an audible tone but a bone-deep hum, a buried dirge that sang in frequencies meant not for ears but for the marrow itself.

A faint metallic tang rode the air, stinging her nose and settling on her tongue. Her pulse beat harder, a staccato drum against the inside of her skull. She knew she should have been afraid, or at least careful, but curiosity is rarely adaptable. It presses forward in one direction, refusing diversion. Even as some primitive sense screamed retreat, a more insistent force, slow and syrupy as honey, compelled her closer.

At the monument’s base, a set of spiral steps had been hewn directly into the rock, winding up toward the face’s sealed lips. The staircase’s edge was polished to a treacherous smoothness—perhaps by centuries of bare feet, or perhaps by something more recent. Each step she took yanked a shudder up her spine, the chill stone leaching heat from her bones. She tried to picture the hands and feet that had shaped these stairs, that had come before her, but the imagined forms refused to hold: they slipped away at the periphery, just out of sight, like ghosts not quite ready to reveal their sorrow.

As she climbed, the red seepage intensified, painting her arms and face in its cast. The color made her flesh look flayed and raw, as though she’d shed her skin and left it behind on the plain below. Her breath hitched in her throat, every inhalation mirrored by a second, deeper rasp—a guttural echo that rode beside her own, shadowing her ascent. She placed a hand against the cheek, bracing herself, and felt warmth pulsing through the stone—a low, feverish heat, rhythmic but not quite alive. Her heart skipped in answer. The pillars’ hum swelled, shaking her vision, warping the outlines of the world.

Suddenly, the lips moved. At firs,t it was only a quiver at their seam, a ripple of tension, but then the entire mouth flexed—and she swore she saw the faintest suggestion of tongue behind the teeth. She leaned closer, pressing her ear against the fissure. Beneath the monument’s stony shell, she heard breathing: not the shrill whistle of wind through cracks, but a true respiration, cavernous and ponderous, as though the monument had lungs the size of mountains and was only now remembering how to fill them.

The revelation paralyzed her. This was not a tomb built to honor the dead, she realized, nor a shrine to contain some ancient anger. The statue was a sarcophagus, yes, but one not yet emptied. The red running from its eyes was neither pigment nor rainwater but a bodily fluid, leaking from a cocoon that could not hold its contents. The face was a shell, a boundary—and something was trying to cross it.

Even so, she kept climbing, compelled by a mixture of terror and awe, the two emotions indistinguishable now in their velocity. By the final step, her knees trembled and her throat ached from the acid bite of fear, but she crouched anyway at the summit, only inches from the sealed lips. Veins of shimmering ember threaded across their surface, glowing brighter with every pulse of the monument’s breath. She felt a wave of heat roll over her, dense and chemical, and it left her dizzy, her skin tingling as though exposed to low voltage.

Now, as if cued by her presence, the ring of pillars began to thrum in a synchronized rhythm. One after another, they trembled against the ground, a chain reaction that rattled the bones of the earth itself. With each pulse, the red liquid burst a little brighter from the monument’s wounds, feeding rivers that ran down the steps and pooled at their base. Her limbs buzzed with a painful, almost ecstatic electricity.

Without meaning to, she heard herself whisper, “What are you?”

The answer arrived not as speech but as a violence in her skeleton. The words detonated inside her skull and reverberated through her ribcage, as though she’d been struck by a tuning fork forged for a different species. The sensation was not one of comprehension, but of total subjugation—a message delivered in a medium older than language or thought.

You.

The word was a spasm, a convulsion of being. She staggered backward, and the pillars responded, their angled bodies creaking as they pressed inward, shrinking the circumference of the circle until she was contained. The air thickened, the metallic taste blooming into a full, choking flavor. Her lungs seized, and she tasted rust and old ashes on her tongue.

The rivers of red exploded, no longer trickling but surging, a deluge that hissed as it struck the cold stone. In the reflections, she saw faces—hundreds, maybe thousands—each one a warped variant of her own, their eyes wide with terror or ecstasy or both. Each face pressed itself against the surface as if desperate to break through, their mouths open in a cry she could feel but never hear.

You repeated the monument, but now it was not merely a label, but an imperative.

She tried to clap her hands over her ears, but the sound lived behind them, in the architecture of her skull. Where her hands touched skin, she felt fissures opening: thin, pale lines that leaked light, as if her bone marrow had turned into a lantern. Each seam split further, the glow intensifying until the skin could not contain it.

Inheritance, not worship.

The lips of the monument parted, forming syllables that bent the air into impossible shapes. The pillars groaned, their runes flaring with a dark fire. One pillar cracked, then another, each yielding with the wet snap of a femur under pressure. Dust erupted into the air, shrouding the steps. The rivers rose higher, climbing up the pedestal and wrapping around her ankles, then calves, burning her with a heat that did not scald flesh so much as erase it.

She stood rooted in place, unable to turn away, because in that moment she understood: This was not a prison, but an incubator. The thing inside was not a remnant, but a seed.

And it was time to hatch.

What followed was not blackout but erasure. Her mind remained, but submerged, as though she had been drowned beneath a tide of molten syllables. Her body convulsed, every joint unhinging, seams of light splitting wider until the marrow itself glowed.

She tried to scream, but the sound was stolen from her, bent into a chant that was not her own.

It spread through her like fever, like birth, like—

—

Author’s Note:
This entry was inspired by the image of a monumental stone face weeping red channels, surrounded by jagged pillars. I wanted to explore the tension between worship and imprisonment — the idea of a monument that is not passive, but alive, incubating something ancient. The words fake, adaptable, and angle were drawn from community prompts (FOWC, RDP, and Word of the Day) and woven into the text.

Casino Queen Loretta

2025/09/19Posted in FictionTagged books, creative writing, daily exercise, fantasy, Fiction, Fiction Series, FOWC, RDP, short-story, writing7 Comments

Episode 3: Coffee, Cigarettes, and Catastrophes

The casino smelled like burned electricity and desperate paydays—a mix of ozone, sweat, and somebody’s bad decision wafting from the all-night buffet. Carpet patterns swirled like a magician’s trap, designed to hypnotize losers into forgetting the way out. Overhead, fluorescent lights hummed their mechanical hymn while slot machines shrieked like possessed pinball saints.

And there she was—Loretta—flicking cards across a felt table with the precision of a surgeon and the calm of a predator. Each shuffle was a threat wrapped in velvet. Her nails flashed red beneath the lights, a warning flare in a sea of bad odds. I caught her eye for half a second, and it felt like being measured, priced, and politely declined.

I should’ve kept walking. Any man with a functioning survival instinct knows the house always wins, especially when the house wears black eyeliner and a smile sharp enough to cut rope. But I stood there anyway, watching her hands work the deck like she was dealing fate one snap at a time. The dry snap of the cards carried a rhythm—quick, clean, lethal—that made my chest tighten.

From somewhere near the buffet, a mushroom cloud of fryer grease floated in, mixing with cigarette smoke until the air tasted like deep-fried temptation. I took a step closer. Maybe it was curiosity. Perhaps it was stupidity dressed up in a lucky jacket. Either way, I was already in the game before I touched a single chip.

I slid into an empty seat like a man sneaking into his own execution. The felt smelled faintly of disinfectant and other people’s bad luck. A stack of chips clinked against my palm—cold, weightless, and already halfway gone in my mind.

Loretta looked up, one eye narrowing just enough to register amusement.
“First time at my table?” she asked, voice a dulcet rasp that wrapped itself around the racket like silk over a buzz saw. “Or you just here to donate?”

“Thought I’d give fate a fair chance,” I said, trying to sound casual while my heartbeat tapped out Morse code against my ribs.

She cut the deck with a snap that echoed louder than the slot machines. “Fate doesn’t take chances,” she said. “It takes payment. Minimum bet is twenty. Hope your soul’s worth at least that much.”

I slid my chips forward, the plastic edges slick with sweat. Around us, the casino blared its mechanical choir—coins clattering, bells chiming, a drunk couple laughing like they’d just found the secret to eternal youth. The air tasted of bourbon and fryer grease, with a faint mushroom tang drifting in from the buffet like a dare.

Loretta dealt with surgeon’s precision, each card a quiet insult to my odds. The way she moved—wrist flick, chip rake, half-smile—was an integrated system of seduction and slaughter. I knew the house always wins, but for one reckless heartbeat, I wanted to be the proof that it didn’t.

She leaned in just close enough for her perfume—cheap vanilla with a hint of gasoline—to mix with the smoke between us.
“Hit or stay, handsome?”

It was the first choice of the night, and already I could feel the house collecting its fee.

The casino floor bled into early morning, the crowd thinning until the slot machines were mainly talking to themselves. Loretta tapped the table twice, a dealer’s benediction, and announced a smoke break. I followed like a moth after a neon sign that said Mistake This Way.

The staff break room sat behind a gray security door, far from the glitter. Inside, the air smelled of burnt coffee and tired ambition. A humming soda machine threw a sickly blue glow across scuffed linoleum, turning her black vest into a patchwork of shadow and static. The only sound was the dull buzz of a flickering light bulb—like the world’s most apathetic cricket.

Loretta lit a cigarette and exhaled a thin plume toward the ceiling. Without the clamor of chips and bells, her movements slowed, almost tender.
“Funny thing about luck,” she said, voice still carrying that dulcet rasp but softened by fatigue. “People think it’s random. Truth is, luck’s just math wearing lipstick.”

I leaned against the vending machine, the metal cool against my back. “That a house secret or a personal sermon?”

She gave a crooked smile, eyes fixed on the smoke curling upward like a lazy patrol looking for trouble. “Both. My daddy taught me cards before he taught me to drive. Said life’s nothing but stacked decks. You don’t win—you just lose slower.”

Her words pressed against me with intense weight, an integrated blend of confession and warning. The worn carpet beneath our feet carried the faint musk of fryer grease, and I caught a drifting hint of the buffet’s mushroom funk through the vent. I became aware of the frayed fabric of her vest brushing her arm each time she shifted, a small sound in a room starved for music.

I wanted to ask why someone with eyes sharp enough to cut glass chose to live inside a rigged game. Instead, I said, “You ever dream of cashing out?”

Loretta flicked ash into a Styrofoam cup. “Dreaming’s free. But dreams don’t tip.”

The way she said it—quiet, almost gentle—told me there were stories folded into that silence, stories even the house couldn’t count.

The diner sat two blocks from the casino, a twenty-four-hour shrine to grease and bad decisions. Its neon sign flickered like a tired heartbeat, bathing the parking lot in a pink haze that made even the potholes look romantic. Inside, the air smelled of scorched coffee and fryer oil, a perfume that clung to the cracked vinyl booths like a stubborn memory.

Loretta slid into a corner seat, the fabric of the booth squeaking in protest. She shrugged off her vest, revealing a black T-shirt peppered with faint burns from a thousand careless cigarettes. The sudden absence of casino noise felt almost intense—like stepping out of a hurricane into a vacuum. Only the low hum of the jukebox and the occasional sizzle from the grill broke the silence.

A waitress with a face like an unshuffled deck dropped two menus without asking. Loretta didn’t bother opening hers.
“House specialty’s heartburn,” she said, that dulcet rasp curling around the words like smoke around a flame. “But the fries are honest.”

We ordered greasy eggs and a shared plate of mushroom hash browns, the kind of meal that sticks to your ribs and your conscience. Loretta stirred her coffee, eyes fixed on the lazy whirlpool of cream.
“Love’s just another bet,” she said finally. “You ante up, hope the dealer’s distracted, and pray you don’t draw the fool’s card.”

I tried to joke—something about odds and insurance—but the look she gave me stopped it cold. Her eye held a challenge I couldn’t calculate.

“You ever win?” I asked.

“Nobody wins,” she said. “Best you get is a slower loss.”
She smiled then, a small, crooked thing that carried more warning than warmth. Outside, a lone squad car cruised past like a midnight patrol, lights off but authority intact.

For a heartbeat, the diner felt suspended, an integrated pocket of stillness where the rest of the world couldn’t intrude. The jukebox crooned a half-forgotten ballad, the smell of coffee and salt hung heavy, and I realized I wasn’t hungry for food anymore. I was hungry for the risk she carried like a second skin.

A week later, I walked back into the casino with the stupid optimism of a man who believes lightning might strike twice—preferably with a jackpot attached. The air hit me like a recycled storm: cigarette haze, perfume, and the faint mushroom stink drifting from the buffet vents. The carpets, all hypnotic swirls and migraine reds, felt softer underfoot, like they’d been waiting to cushion my next mistake.

Loretta was at her table, shuffling with the calm precision of a surgeon prepping for an operation. She wore a deep-blue vest tonight, its worn fabric catching the overhead lights in quiet rebellion. Her eyes flicked up and locked on mine—one eye cool, the other almost amused. If she was surprised to see me, the house-trained mask didn’t show it.

A man already sat in the chair I’d claimed as my own the week before. He was loud, cologne-heavy, and lucky—chips stacked like tiny ivory skyscrapers in front of him. Loretta leaned in close, her dulcet rasp carrying across the felt as she dealt him a perfect blackjack. The way she whispered “Winner” was almost intense enough to drown out the slot machines.

I stood at the rail, chips sweating in my palm, watching her fingertips glide over the cards with that integrated rhythm of seduction and slaughter. My pulse ticked with every snap of the deck. It felt like being forced to watch my own slow-motion eviction from a dream I never paid rent on.

The lucky guy laughed, the kind of laugh that begs to harass everyone within earshot. Loretta tossed him another wink—small, surgical, lethal. It was a move I’d once thought belonged to me.

I wanted to step forward, to challenge the hand, the man, the house itself. Instead, I let the chips slide back into my pocket and walked away, the neon glare chasing me like a disappointed patrol.

Outside, the night air smelled of cold concrete and freedom. For the first time all evening, I felt the odds shift in my favor simply by leaving. Sometimes the only winning play is to fold before the cards are even dealt.

The desert night greeted me with a slap of cold air, sharp enough to cut through the stale perfume of the casino still clinging to my jacket. The parking lot stretched wide and empty, a blacktop ocean broken only by puddles of sodium light. A flickering neon sign buzzed overhead, its glow turning the asphalt into a patchwork of molten blues and bruised purples.

I lit a cigarette and watched the smoke twist upward like an intense prayer nobody planned to answer. The silence was so thick I could hear the faint scrape of gravel beneath my boots and the whisper of worn fabric whenever I shifted my weight. Somewhere in the distance, a lone squad car cruised by—a lazy patrol tracing the edge of the night without hurry or purpose.

Loretta’s voice haunted the dark like the echo of a dulcet song that ends mid-note. Every shuffle, every half-smile, every small mercy of her hands on the cards played back in my head with the mechanical precision of the slot machines we’d left behind. The memory carried a scent—faint mushroom grease from the diner, the cheap vanilla of her perfume—woven into an integrated knot I knew I’d never fully untangle.

I thought about the man at her table, the wink she’d tossed like a spare coin. Jealousy should have burned hotter, but instead, there was a strange calm. Maybe I’d finally learned the math she’d been teaching all along: the house always wins, but you don’t have to stay and watch it happen.

I flicked the cigarette into the dark and exhaled the last of the night’s poison.
Love, luck, life—same deck, same dealer. You don’t win. You just choose when to walk away.

I walked.

Author’s Note

Tonight’s gamble was powered by two prompt dealers—FOWC and RDP—who keep this old storyteller’s chips on the table. Their words slipped into the episode like hidden aces, shaping every shuffle and smoke trail. Sometimes the best hands aren’t the ones you win, but the ones that push you to lay your cards down and walk out into the night air.

Safe Word: Bibliography

2025/09/16Posted in SplintersTagged #FFFC, creative writing, daily exercise, flash fiction, Splinters, writing2 Comments

Becca only meant to peek at Advanced Thermodynamics for People Who Hate Numbers.
Page twelve snapped shut like a mousetrap—whump—and the textbook flopped over her like an ambush blanket.

The velvet sofa wheezed under the impact. Its cushions smelled of mothballs and forgotten tea, a floral musk that clung to her sweater like an old rumor.
“Great,” she muttered. “Death by glossary.”

Heat pulsed from the radiator in damp, metallic breaths. Pipes ticked like a patient metronome, marking every minute she wasn’t studying. Somewhere near her ankle, a silverfish scuttled a neat little patrol.

A soft rustle drew her eye to the far arm of the couch.
A gerbil—plump, cinnamon-colored, eyes like polished seeds—sat upright, paws folded as if grading her performance. Its nose twitched with microscopic authority.

“You ever feel like life is just one long footnote?” Becca asked.
The gerbil twitched.
“Like we keep collecting facts, but the story keeps editing itself?”
More twitching.
“Do you think entropy is personal? Because I feel personally attacked.”

The gerbil blinked once, whiskers vibrating like tuning forks.

“Fine,” she said, curling deeper beneath the book’s heavy cover. “Stay silent. Let the human do all the emotional labor.”

A dulcet, throat-lozenge cough broke the hush.
“Ma’am,” said the custodian, leaning on his mop like a philosopher king, “are you being… harassed by the literature?”

Becca peeked out, hair static-frizzed into a purple-green mushroom cloud.
“It’s consensual,” she deadpanned. “We’re workshopping an integrated learning experience.”

The custodian squinted. “Book club gone feral, huh?”

“Yeah. Safe word is bibliography.”

He gave a solemn nod and shuffled off, his squeaky shoes fading into the oak-paneled quiet.

Becca settled back, feeling the papery heartbeat of a thousand unread pages press against her ribs. Maybe surrender was just another kind of study session.

Somewhere in the folds, the book rustled and whispered,
“Shh. Plot twist incoming.”

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Chapter 2

The Room

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Author’s Note

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Chapter 1

The Sister

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Chapter 2

The Magnificent Seven, Mangus Style

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Time Travel: A Practical Guide for the Chronologically Curious

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Author’s Note

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