What Elegant Gypsy Taught Me About Sound

TUNAGE – SLS

I never understood what people meant by a “breakout album.” It always sounded like marketing speak, like some suit in a record label office decided a release would be a moment before the music even had a chance to prove it.

But now that I’ve been listening to music for decades—really listening—I get it. A breakout album is the one that changes the game. It’s the moment when an artist stops following the rules and starts rewriting them. It doesn’t just shift their career—it shifts how you hear music and move through the world. What happens when a certain song creeps into your headphones at 2 a.m.

For me, those shifts started showing up most often in the music of the ’70s and ’80s. Maybe because that was the last time I remember feeling invincible. Some of my friends say it’s because we were young, wild, and untouched by the creeping anxiety that comes with growing older and seeing too much. I don’t know. All I know is, back then, the music mattered. It wasn’t background noise—it was a pulse.

Usually, when people write about breakout records, they stick to pop and rock. And sure, I’ve got love for Thriller, Born to Run, and The Dark Side of the Moon. They deserve their place. But when we only look in that direction, we miss a world of records that hit just as hard—and sometimes deeper.

Let’s talk about the blues for a second.

Breakout albums in the blues don’t always come with fireworks. They come with smoke. With mood. With grit. Robert Johnson’s King of the Delta Blues Singers wasn’t even released while he was alive, but when it hit in 1961, it sent shockwaves through every guitar player worth their calluses. That wasn’t just a collection of songs—it was a haunted house tour through American music. And Albert King’s Born Under a Bad Sign? That record is basically the DNA for half of modern rock guitar. You can hear it in Hendrix. You can hear it in Clapton. You can feel it in your spine.

And then Stevie Ray Vaughan’s Texas Flood came along in 1983 and slapped the ’80s awake. In a decade buried in synths and neon, he reminded everyone what raw emotion sounded like. Blues didn’t die—it just needed someone to walk back in with a Strat and a storm.

Still, for me, the blues is the voice of memory. Jazz, though—that’s where I live.

I didn’t even know I was being raised on jazz. My mother had it spinning through the house, soft and steady. There were no lectures, no explanations, just vibes—Miles, Monk, a little Ella, and Louis. It seeped into me without permission.

Later, when I started tracing back the music that moved me most, I found myself standing in front of Kind of Blue. I didn’t understand modal jazz or the genius behind its understatement. I just knew it felt like thinking clearly. Coltrane’s A Love Supreme—that one was different. That one burned. It felt like prayer in motion. And Herbie Hancock’s Head Hunters? That album made me question everything I thought jazz could be. It didn’t walk. It didn’t swing. It grooved.

But if you really want to know the moment the floor dropped out from under me—when I realized how deep this rabbit hole could go—it wasn’t a household name that did it. It was a cassette tape. In a barracks. On a night that started like any other.

It was the late ’80s. I had a makeshift pirate radio thing going with a buddy. We were playing Zeppelin, Floyd, Spyro Gyra—the kind of music that made you feel smart and a little dangerous. We were fueled by bad liquor and worse decisions.

Then Good walked into my room, talking slick. “You think you know music?” he said.

I told him to show me something better.

He popped in a tape.

Elegant Gypsy.



I didn’t know the name Al Di Meola. I certainly hadn’t heard of Return to Forever. Chick Corea and Stanley Clarke were familiar, but Al Di… ah, who? But from the moment “Flight Over Rio” exploded out of those half-broken speakers, I was done for.

Here’s the thing: Elegant Gypsy isn’t just fast. It isn’t just technical. It’s alive. This album doesn’t care if you’re ready. It grabs you by the collar, throws you into a hurricane of fusion, flamenco, and Latin rhythm, and dares you to keep up.

Di Meola’s guitar work is blistering—sure. But it’s also delicate when it needs to be. He doesn’t just play fast. He plays intentionally. There’s weight in every note, even when his fingers are moving at light speed. “Mediterranean Sundance,” his duet with Paco de Lucía, isn’t just a highlight—it’s a masterclass. You can feel the heat rising off the strings. You can hear two cultures colliding and dancing at once. It’s the sound of passion pushed through wood and wire—and that little whew at the end hits as hard as any chord.

And then there’s Elegant Gypsy Suite.



This track—more of a journey than a song—feels like the core of the whole album. At nearly ten minutes, it refuses to rush, despite being driven by a guitarist who could break land speed records. Instead, it shifts, morphs, and moves through phases. It opens in a brooding, almost cinematic space—like it’s scoring a Sergio Leone western that got hijacked by an avant-garde flamenco troupe. Then the melodies begin to circle, tighten, and rise. Di Meola slides between electric and acoustic passages without missing a beat, blending precise lines with raw emotion. There’s a section where the rhythm drops out and you’re left with this eerie, floating tension—before it snaps back in and charges forward like a bullfight.

It’s not just a guitar showcase—it’s storytelling. It’s Di Meola proving that speed means nothing without soul, that complexity doesn’t have to come at the cost of clarity. That suite is the reason this album transcends the fusion label. It’s bigger than genre. Its composition. It’s vision.

Critically, Elegant Gypsy did its damage. It went gold. It won Guitar Player magazine’s Album of the Year. It peaked high on the jazz charts. And yet, outside of jazz or guitar nerd circles, you barely hear it mentioned. No Rolling Stone rankings. No VH1 countdowns. It’s not part of the mainstream memory.

But ask any musician. Ask anyone who’s tried to tame six strings into something worth listening to. They’ll tell you: this album is sacred.

That night in the barracks, Elegant Gypsy didn’t just win the argument—it flipped the script. It reminded me why I cared about music in the first place. Not for popularity. Not for nostalgia. But for discovery. For the thrill of being wrong about what you thought music could be.

That’s what a breakout album really is. It doesn’t just launch a career. It launches you into something new.

So I keep listening. I keep digging. Not because I want to be the guy with the deep cuts, but because every now and then, a record still finds me and knocks me flat. When that happens, I stop everything. I pour a drink. I let it play all the way through.

Because sometimes, music doesn’t just break out.

It breaks you open.



Too Soft to Survive

POETRY



by the time they named her strong, she’d already lost everything else

This is what she looked like before.

Before the veil. Before the gloss. Before they praised her composure and confused it for peace.
Before she turned herself into armor.

Before the night Jimmy died.

She was Annabelle then. Not a symbol. Not a survivor. Just a girl who still smiled with her whole face, even when it hurt.
Who wore her softness without fear.
Who believed in mornings, in second chances, in love that didn’t need explanation.

Jimmy saw her.

Not the projection, not the potential—just her.
Hair tangled from sleep. Laugh like rebellion.
Questions that didn’t need answers.
He held her like she was real, and that was the most dangerous thing of all.

Because real things break.

And that night, something did.

She didn’t cry at first. She didn’t scream.
She went still.
Still enough to make a decision.

If softness got her here, she would bury it.
If love made her reckless, she would starve it.
If truth demanded grief, she would wear lies like couture.

So she did what women like her are trained to do.

She became someone else.

The world met her later—painted, polished. They called her elegant. Formidable. Composed.
They didn’t know she’d cut out parts of herself to fit that dress.
They didn’t see the ghost she carried in her mouth.

They just saw a woman who never cracked.

But some nights, when her reflection forgets to lie—
the voice inside her whispers:

Did you ever wish you were someone else?
Because I do.
She don’t belong here. She doesn’t belong.

She’s worn the mask so long, it’s started to feel like skin.
It itched at first; now it bleeds beneath the scars.
And she no longer knows where it ends, or where she begins.

But underneath, that other girl—the before girl—isn’t gone. Just buried.

And with her, the memory:

She was selfless. He was a true friend.
She should have been there for him.
Slow dancing until the crying eased.
Letting him collapse into her silence.
Being the warmth when the cold got too loud.

Now she speaks the unspeakable.

Jimmy is gone.
And she wasn’t there.

Not the way he needed.
Not the way he had been for her.
She should’ve been someone he could come to.

Jimmy’s watch ticks, ticks, ticks—a reminder that she is still alive.
She wears it now, not for timekeeping, but as penance.
It doesn’t tell time.
It tells absence.

She remembers who she was before they called her strong.
Before she survived by silence.
Before she was too bright to touch.
Before the grief calcified into poise.

She remembers Jimmy.

And tonight, she doesn’t want to be worshipped, or applauded, or envied.
She wants to be held.
She wants someone to say her name like it means something.
Annabelle.
Like it’s not just a title she wears in his absence.

Her thumb rubs his lighter—silver, worn smooth, still warm from her pocket.
She exhales her words into the air like smoke, like prayer.

“You saved me…
You saved me.”

One Liner Wednesday – 05212025

ONE LINER WEDNESDAY & FOWC

“Think of it this way: cleavage is the downfall of man—and honestly, no one’s complaining.”

Too Bright to Touch

PROSE – FOWC & RDP


She moved like a memory caught in motion—half real, half reflection.
Blue light wrapped her like prophecy, like warning.
Everything about her shimmered.
Not from joy, but from exhaustion lacquered into beauty.

There was a cost to being seen this way.

Every inch of her radiated curated power—eyes rimmed in defiance, lips painted in precision.
She looked flawless. Untouchable.
But nothing about her was effortless.
She was sculpted in silence, shaped by scrutiny, smoothed by survival.

The world adored the Gloss.

They called it strength.
They mistook stillness for peace.
They praised the image and ignored the ache.

Because Gloss blinds.

And beneath it, something primal waited—untamed, uninvited, and fully hers.

Fur.

Not for decoration—for defense.
It was everything she’d learned to hide: the mess, the wildness, the depth.
The part of her that could not be branded, couldn’t be edited.

She’d buried it to belong.
But it never stopped breathing.

Now it whispered again.

I want to love.
I want to find peace.
I want to find the real.

But in a world that feeds off illusion…

They tell her lies, in a delicious way.
Wrapped in compliments.
Scented with approval.
Only palatable if she never breaks character.

She tried to believe.
Tried to play along.
But the silence inside her was louder than any applause.

Though she is surrounded, she feels alone.

People held the projection.
No one held her.

Who is the person peering from the cage?
She doesn’t want to be here, but there she is upon the stage.

And one day, without ceremony, she stopped pretending.

She stripped away everything, stood as she truly was.
No gloss.
No pose.
No apology.

And in the rawness of that moment—

To dream of the moment is not insane.

Not foolish.
Not naïve.
Not a weakness.

It’s a kind of rebellion—
To believe in softness after survival.
To imagine stillness after the storm.

Perhaps, she will learn the answer—just not today.

Today is enough.

Because in the stillness…

She not afraid.
She not afraid.
She began to breathe.
It almost easy.

No spotlight.
No mask.
Just breath.
Just truth.
Just her.

Too Strong for You

PROSE – FOWC & RDP


She wore the veil not to disappear, but to survive.

It wasn’t for tradition, or rebellion. It wasn’t a performance. It was protection.
It was her way of saying: I decide what you get to take from me.

They never handed her chains. They handed her mirrors. Bent ones.
Peer pressure didn’t demand. It seduced. Do what we do. Be what we expect. Not because we said so—but because you’ll be alone if you don’t.

Then secular pressure followed, wrapped in freedom’s clothing.
Be who you are—as long as it’s curated, as long as it looks good, as long as it doesn’t disturb.
Express, but don’t confront. Create, but don’t challenge.
Believe in nothing but your brand.

And for a while, she drifted. Trying to belong. Trying to disappear inside approval.

But inside the silence, something broke open.

“Weak as I am…”

She said it like an admission. But it was the beginning of truth.

Weak—not because she failed, but because she felt.
Because she hadn’t let the world harden her into something hollow.
Because even in survival, she still longed for something more than existing.

Because she can’t change the world, but she control how it molds her.
And she refused to be shaped by fear. She chose to be shaped by memory. By presence.
By scars she didn’t hide.

Stay alive. Keep on fighting.

Some days, she did.
Some days, she didn’t.

Like a fugitive on the run—from becoming unrecognizable to herself.
Carrying the weight of all she’s done—and all that’s been done to her.
She was born from regret, yes. But that regret made her conscious. Aware. Awake.

And still, the questions haunt her:

What is she fighting for?
What is she running from?

The answers shift, day to day.

Sometimes she fights for the quiet.
For the small version of herself she abandoned to survive.
For the right to not have to explain.
For the chance to feel something other than fear.

And yes—there are moments. Moments where escape feels like mercy.

What if she wanted to run? Leave it all.
What if she crumbled, and couldn’t fight anymore?

These thoughts don’t scare her anymore.
They keep her honest.
They remind her that strength isn’t the absence of breaking—
it’s the choice to return to yourself after.

Because at the end of all the noise, all the pretending, all the shrinking and reaching and rebuilding—

She is left with one quiet, unshakable truth:

This is who I really am.

No polish. No filter.
Veiled, but not invisible.
Wounded, but not erased.
Tired, but still reaching.

So when the world looks her way, squinting through its own discomfort, trying to place her in a category, or strip her down to something simpler, something safer—

She doesn’t flinch.

She lifts her gaze and speaks with a voice that carries every weight she never dropped:

“With this tainted soul, in this wicked world…
Am I too strong for you?”

And if the answer is yes—so be it.

She never asked for permission.
She only asked to be real.

Fandango’s Flashback Friday – 05232025

PROSE – FFFC

Fandango asked us to share a flashback. Two years ago, I was thinking hard about mental health. I was wrestling with how to speak openly about something that affects more people than we’re often willing to admit. The stigma is real; unfortunately, that silence—that collective reluctance to talk—is part of the problem.

But I’ve also learned that standing on a soapbox hollering about PTSD or anxiety doesn’t always help much either. Yes, we need awareness. We need voices and visibility for what’s become a growing crisis. But awareness without connection can fall flat. Sometimes, the most powerful thing we can do isn’t a speech or a post—it’s simply being present.

Being the friend who checks in. The sibling who listens without trying to fix. The stranger who offers compassion without judgment. That’s how we start to chip away at the shame. That’s how we show each other we’re not alone. And sometimes, that quiet presence speaks louder than any headline.


Holding the Line: Fractures and All

Daily writing prompt
What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”
— Edmund Burke

For years, I stood for what I believed couldn’t be broken: humor, integrity, truth. It’s not the kind you post about, but the kind you lose sleep over. The kind you keep when it costs you something.

I stayed steady. I didn’t cut corners. I thought it would mean something if I just held the line long enough. That my convictions would carry weight. They’d hold the chaos back, even if only a little while.

But then came the choice.

It wasn’t dramatic. No burning building, no lives on the line. Just a conversation in a quiet room, a decision no one would see. And we told ourselves it was for the greater good. That by bending, we could protect more.

The cost was one truth I didn’t speak. One silence I allowed. It didn’t feel like a betrayal at the time. It felt strategic. Efficient.

But the lie lived on, and others paid for it.

The nameless suffered the consequences for what I didn’t expose. Integrity fractured, honor destroyed. I started to look at myself differently—not with anger but with confusion. We told ourselves we were the good guys, but were we?

“The intention is nothing without the action. It is not the consciousness of men that determines their being, but their social being that determines their consciousness.”
— Karl Marx, Preface to A Contribution to the Critique of Political Economy (1859)

And maybe we still are. But not without damage.

Because the most challenging part isn’t the decision—it’s living with what it took from you. You go home. You look in the mirror. You wonder if the person staring back is still you.

And then, today, it happened again.

Another quiet moment. Another conversation behind closed doors. A shortcut. A lie I could’ve told. No one would’ve known.

But I did something different.

I said no. My voice cracked, but I held the line. I walked out knowing I’d made things harder for myself. But I also walked out, still able to breathe.

I’m not who I was before the compromise. I don’t think I ever will be. But I haven’t gone completely. There’s still a part of me that recoils at the easy road. A part that still whispers: “Not this. Not again.”

I fight for that voice now.

Not to be redeemed. I’m long past chasing purity. I fight to guard what remains intact—to protect the sliver of soul that refuses to rot.

Because if I let that go, I’m no longer making hard choices for the greater good. I’m just protecting myself. And that’s where corruption truly begins.

That whisper—fragile as it is—is still mine.
And for that, I fight.

Because if I can keep that alive, I haven’t lost everything.

Winter French Kissed Me and It Was Not Okay

How do you feel about cold weather?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

—a survivor’s guide to atmospheric betrayal

How do I feel about cold weather?
First of all, what a ridiculous question. Clearly asked by someone who’s never had to warm their jeans in front of the oven before putting them on. Someone who thinks “cold” means putting on a hoodie for their latte run, with almond milk, as if that’s the real crisis.

Let’s get this straight: cold weather is not an aesthetic. It’s not “cozy.” It’s not “romantic.” It is a full-blown seasonal assault. It’s waking up and negotiating with your thermostat like you’re defusing a bomb. It’s stepping outside and getting physically bullied by the air. It slaps your face, steals your breath, and laughs as your will to live slips on black ice.

Have you ever felt the cold in your teeth? Not because you’re chewing ice—just because you exist? The cold doesn’t nudge you; it invades. Your fingers become meat popsicles. Your nose a leaky faucet. Your spine? An icicle with regrets.

And yes, someone will always chirp, “But snow is so magical!”

Sure. So is glitter—until it’s in your carpet, your soul, and your coffee. Snow is only magical until you’re scraping your windshield with a frozen pizza box because your scraper snapped in half like your sanity.

But here’s the thing: I didn’t always feel this way.

There was a time when winter meant war, and we were ready for it.

We were glued to the radio each morning, listening for school closures like it was the stock market. We lived for the moment they’d say our school’s name. Nothing else mattered. Snow day? Victory. Snow day? Absolute chaos.

And when we got the call—we deployed.
Our mothers didn’t mess around with stylish gear. None of that fitted Columbia-brand nonsense grandkids wear today. No, we were wrapped in layers so thick we couldn’t bend at the elbows. Giant snowsuits in violent colors, scarves wrapped until we couldn’t breathe, hats that made us look like sentient laundry piles.

We didn’t look cool. We looked insulated. And we were proud of it. Because we had work to do. Trash can lids became sleds. Snow ramps got built with zero structural integrity. There were snow forts to construct, munitions to stockpile, and alliances to betray. If you didn’t come back soaked, bruised, and slightly frostbitten—you didn’t commit.

And the cold? It didn’t touch us.
We stayed outside for hours. No complaints. No thermals. Just soaked socks and adrenaline. We siphoned warmth directly from the sun—or maybe from the bodies of our enemies in those brutal snowball battles. We made snow angels like we were summoning ice demons. We didn’t feel pain. We felt alive.

But somewhere along the line, that magic froze over.

You start to see snow not as a playground, but as debt—a cruel joke you’ll be shoveling off your car at 6 a.m. with a spoon because your scraper snapped (again). The world no longer stops for snow. It just gets harder.

And then something inside you changes. You stop complaining. You stop reacting. You just nod when the forecast says “ice pellets” like some frostbitten monk who’s accepted their fate. You become that person who shovels in a T-shirt—not because it’s brave, but because your soul gave up years ago.

So how do I feel about cold weather?

Like a war veteran feels about the war: I’ve been through it, I have the scars, and if you say “but snow is magical!” one more time, I will personally make you lick a metal pole in January.

Any more questions?

Emotion in Disguise: What Modernist Poetry Really Feels

ESSAY – JAVA & VERSE

How Teaching, Trauma, and Innovation Keep Modernism Alive Today

When I lectured on poetry, I always felt that the material used wasn’t keeping pace with the times. Poetry has evolved—radically, beautifully—but the way we teach it? Not so much.

The curriculum often clings to rigid categories, ignoring the electric shift in voice, form, and identity that defines our current generation of poets. Modernism, in particular, gets framed as cold and impenetrable, when in truth, it’s full of feeling—just coded, fragmented, and refracted through the chaos of its age. This essay is my attempt to reframe that lens, to show that even when modernist poets claimed to escape emotion, they were actually inventing new ways to express it.

Modernism in Poetry: Emotion in Disguise

Once upon a time, poetry was in love with itself. It rhymed, it sighed, it danced through rose gardens under the moonlight.

Then came Modernism, and poetry had a breakdown. Or maybe a breakthrough. Either way, it stopped pretending everything made sense.

Modernist poetry emerged in the late 19th and early 20th centuries as a fiery rejection of Victorian sentimentality and Romantic melodrama. The old poetic order collapsed under the weight of war, industrial chaos, and deep existential dread. Modernist poets didn’t just shift gears—they set fire to the vehicle and walked away from the wreckage.

World War I turned landscapes into graveyards and ideals into ruins. Suddenly, poetry couldn’t afford to be polite. The genteel, pastoral verses of the past felt dishonest in a world haunted by gas masks, shellshock, and trench mud. Poets had to find a new language for a new kind of grief—and modernism answered the call.

Their rallying cry? Make it new. But that didn’t mean shinier or simpler. It meant fragmented, disjointed, allusive, ambiguous, and unapologetically difficult. It meant challenging readers to confront reality as it was: broken, unstable, and brutally honest.

Emotion in the Age of Irony

T.S. Eliot, one of modernism’s high priests, famously argued for poetic “impersonality”—an escape from emotion rather than an outpouring of it. In essays like “Tradition and the Individual Talent,” he promoted a poetry that transformed feelings into universal truths through rigorous craft.

But let’s be honest: Eliot’s work is emotionally loaded. The Waste Land practically sweats anxiety, loss, and spiritual exhaustion. It’s just wearing a very intellectual trench coat. Consider the lines:

“I will show you fear in a handful of dust.”

That’s not emotionless—that’s terror, disillusionment, and existential dread, crystallized in a single line.

Modernist poets didn’t stop feeling. They just stopped making it obvious.

Emotion didn’t leave the building; it ducked behind fragmented syntax, layered allusions, and shifting perspectives. If Romantic poets sobbed openly, Modernists cried in code. Virginia Woolf said it best: “On or about December 1910, human character changed.” The form had to follow.

The Poet’s New Job Description

So, is the poet still supposed to express their feelings?

Yes—but not necessarily in the way previous generations understood it. The modernist poet became less of a lyrical confessor and more of a curator of chaos, a mapmaker of mental and social disintegration.

They still responded to the world—they just didn’t trust language to carry raw emotion without distortion. The job wasn’t to simply say, “I feel,” but to build structures that evoke feeling in the reader through complexity.

Take Ezra Pound’s imagism, for example. The emotions are there, but compressed into precise images—a few words with the density of granite. In “In a Station of the Metro,” he writes:

“The apparition of these faces in the crowd; / Petals on a wet, black bough.”

In just 14 words, he delivers a fleeting, haunted image of urban life—emotion without explanation.

Or H.D. (Hilda Doolittle), whose poetry strips myth to its emotional core, blending trauma and transcendence through crystal-cut language. Her poem “Oread” demands:

“Whirl up, sea— / Whirl your pointed pines, / Splash your great pines / On our rocks.”

The natural world becomes charged with urgency and erotic force. It’s minimalist, but the emotion crackles.

Enter the Outsiders: Ethnic Voices Redefine the Game

Jean Toomer, author of Cane, masterfully blended poetic and narrative modes to explore race, memory, and identity in modernist form. His lines from the vignette “November Cotton Flower” are both lyrical and piercing:

“But cotton flowers bloomed as the snow fell. / The same thing happened every year, but / It was just as strange to him now as then.”

Toomer’s work drifts between prose and poetry, reality and myth, reflecting the fragmented self of the early 20th-century Black experience.

Another haunting moment comes from the poem “Georgia Dusk,” where Toomer captures the tension between cultural memory and modern displacement:

“A feast of moon and men and barking hounds, / An orgy for some genius of the South / With blood-hot eyes and chicken-lust and Dixie / Moonlight…”

This excerpt seethes with layered imagery—ritual, violence, beauty, and longing—all compressed into a snapshot of Southern Black life distorted by history and myth.

Nella Larsen, and others grappled with identity, dual consciousness, and racial experience using all the modernist tools—fragmentation, symbolism, free indirect discourse.

  • Asian American poets like Yone Noguchi and Sadakichi Hartmann merged Eastern poetic tradition with Western modernist aesthetics, expressing alienation and cultural negotiation in radically new forms. Hartmann’s haiku and Noguchi’s lyrical innovations brought introspective nuance to the movement.
  • Latin American writers associated with Modernismo, like Rubén Darío and José Martí, were remixing lyricism and experiment before Anglo-American poets caught up. Darío’s poetic voice declared a rebellion against colonial linguistic norms while experimenting with form:

“Youth, divine treasure, / you go and will not return.”

These voices challenged the notion that modernism was an elite, Eurocentric experiment. They showed that fragmented identities, complex cultural legacies, and emotional nuance weren’t just compatible with modernism—they were its heart.

Why It Still Matters

Today’s poets are still echoing the modernist ethos—whether consciously or not. Ocean Vuong’s fragmented lyricism, Claudia Rankine’s hybrid forms, and Terrance Hayes’ formal innovation all carry the spirit of modernism into the 21st century. These writers play with structure, voice, and silence in ways that resonate deeply with modernist experimentation. Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous is, in many ways, a modernist epic disguised as memoir, laced with dislocation and myth. Rankine’s Citizen fuses poetry, essay, and visual art—alienating and urgent. Hayes’s American Sonnets for My Past and Future Assassin reshapes a traditional form into something eerily postmodern, yet deeply modernist in its emotional restraint and coded rage.

As a teacher, I believe reintroducing modernism through this living lineage is essential. If we teach it not as a dusty archive, but as an ongoing conversation—a set of tools that today’s poets still use, twist, and question—it becomes something vibrant. Something urgent. Something real.

Modernism isn’t over. It’s evolved. It continues to whisper—sometimes scream—through the voices of today’s poets, who dismantle and reconstruct identity, form, and meaning with every line they write. That’s not just exciting—it’s a necessary response to our own disjointed world.

So read it. Re-read it. Struggle with it. That’s part of the experience—because poetry, like life, doesn’t hand you answers. It demands your attention, your resilience, your curiosity. It mirrors the way we stumble through grief, joy, contradiction, and complexity. In an age of tweets and filters, poetry—and especially modernist poetry—reminds us how to sit with ambiguity. As Eliot might say, it is the “still point of the turning world”—poetry that stands still while everything else falls apart.

In a world still wrestling with identity crises, global conflict, cultural hybridity, and the failure of institutions, modernist poetry remains weirdly relevant. Its refusal to pretend, its hunger for new forms, and its emotionally guarded yet powerfully resonant core—what we might call “coded vulnerability”—offer something today’s overly curated emotional expressions can’t: authentic complexity.

Work-Life Balance After Work: Still a Full-Time Job

Daily writing prompt
How do you balance work and home life?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

I’m retired now, so technically, no “work” is left on paper. But here’s the joke—retirement doesn’t come with an off-switch. When you’ve spent 40+ years measuring your worth by how much you get done in a day, doing nothing feels like failure.

So, I make up stuff to do. I vacuum a floor that isn’t dirty. I alphabetize the spice rack. I create little “missions” like I’m starring in my own low-budget spy movie: Operation Replace All the Batteries. Because if I don’t stay moving, this little voice kicks in—What are you contributing right now?

But of course, the minute I do too much, someone tells me, “Slow down, enjoy life!” And if I listen—if I let myself rest, enjoy a book, or take a guilt-free nap—that same someone will say, “You should keep active! Don’t let yourself go soft!”

It’s like playing ping pong with your expectations and everyone else’s. Do too much, you’re overdoing it. Do too little, and you’re wasting your golden years.

So, how do I balance it? Honestly? I stopped trying to win. I chase what makes the day feel good. Sometimes that means knocking out a list of things no one asked for. Other times, it means sitting outside with a cold drink and ignoring the itch to be productive. The trick is learning to be okay with both, and shutting up that voice in your head that says you have to earn every moment of rest.

Built on Fault Lines

TUNAGE – SLS

The Hidden Band Origins of Today’s Boldest Solo Artists

The low-key origin stories behind music’s most defining solo careers.

This challenge was tough because I know too many artists to choose from. I didn’t want to go with the obvious ones — you know, Ozzy Osbourne from Black Sabbath, Eric Clapton from Cream, Sting from The Police, or Diana Ross from The Supremes. Legends, sure. But those are basically music history 101.

The real struggle? Picking a genre. Rock? Overflowing. R&B? Stacked. Jazz? Don’t even get me started — half the genre is built on solo careers that started in someone else’s band. There are solid examples everywhere. So instead of narrowing it down, I went wide — and spotlighted the solo artists whose band origins aren’t always part of the conversation.


Herbie Hancock – Miles’ Sideman to Funk Pioneer

Before blowing minds with Chameleon and Rockit, Herbie Hancock laid down genius in Miles Davis’ Second Great Quintet — one of the most legendary jazz lineups ever. He could’ve coasted on that. Instead, he rewired jazz with funk, synths, and even turntables.

His 1973 album Head Hunters didn’t just move jazz forward — it cracked it open. “Chameleon” became an anthem, and Herbie never looked back. His solo career didn’t just stand out — it helped rewrite what jazz could be.



Teddy Pendergrass – From Group Harmony to Grown-Man Swagger

Teddy didn’t slide into solo stardom — he owned it. But before the robes and roses, he was the voice behind Harold Melvin & the Blue Notes. That’s him on “If You Don’t Know Me By Now.”

He dialed up the heat when he went solo in the late ’70s. Teddy wasn’t just singing love songs — he was setting the blueprint for every smooth, commanding R&B frontman who came after him.

Kenny Rogers – Psychedelic Cowboy?

We remember Kenny Rogers for the beard, the chicken, and “The Gambler.” But in the late ’60s, he fronted The First Edition, a trippy country-rock band. “Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Was In)” is a psychedelic classic — weird, bold, and nothing like what came after.

He didn’t start as a country icon — he became one. And he brought a little leftover weirdness with him.


Joe Walsh – From Power Trio to Solo Chaos

Before he was shredding with The Eagles, Joe Walsh was the wild force behind James Gang. “Funk #49” still hits like a punch to the chest. Then came his solo years — loose, loud, and hilarious (“Life’s Been Good” is chaos in the best way).

He had the chops, but more importantly, he had that unhinged charisma. And when he joined The Eagles, he didn’t clean up — he brought the madness with him.

Ice Cube – From Ruthless to Relentless

Before the solo albums, movies, and cultural icon status, Ice Cube was the pen behind N.W.A. He wrote most of Straight Outta Compton — then walked away over money and control.

His debut solo album, AmeriKKKa’s Most Wanted, hit like a sledgehammer. He didn’t just survive the breakup — he turned it into fuel and built a solo career that outpaced the group that made him.


Amerikkka’s Most Wanted Album Cover

Then There’s the Whole Bryan Ferry, Morrissey, Annie Lennox Thing…

You know the type. The ones who were technically in a band, but you kind of always knew they were destined to fly solo.

  • Bryan Ferry was Roxy Music—cool, stylish, theatrical. When he went solo, he smoothed out the edges and kept the vibe going with even more elegance.
  • Morrissey? When The Smiths dissolved, he doubled down on his own mythology — neurotic, literary, and unfiltered. Say what you will, but he made being miserable sound iconic.
  • Annie Lennox stepped out of Eurythmics and immediately leveled up. Tracks like “Why” and “No More I Love You’s” didn’t just show off her range — they felt like she was finally making music with no one else in the room.
  • Dave Stewart didn’t vanish. He became a quiet force, producing and writing for legends like Tom Petty and Stevie Nicks. He dropped solo albums, too. No hype, no drama — just intense, melodic work from a guy who knows what to do in a studio.

Natalie Merchant – Quiet Power, Loud Impact

I’ve got all these artists in my library. That’s why this post was hard — every one of them means something to me. Every career shift hit a different note.

But the artist I landed on? Natalie Merchant. Not the biggest name. Not the flashiest. But the one who hit me quietly — and stayed.

I first fell for her voice on 10,000 Maniacs’ version of “Peace Train.” Then I lost track of her — until “Carnival” came out. That song pulled me right back in. Restrained, observational, hypnotic. It led me to Tigerlily. That’s when it clicked. I was in.

She didn’t just go solo — she effortlessly pushed her boundaries, building something slower, wiser, and entirely her own.


Tigerlily Album Cover

 “San Andreas Fault” – A Quiet Warning Disguised as a Lullaby

Though “Carnival” was the standout, I’ve always been partial to “San Andreas Fault.” It opens softly — just piano, some breath between the lines — and stays there. But listen closely, and it’s tense. It’s about chasing dreams on unstable ground, about the illusions of safety and paradise.

It’s a warning, wrapped in a lullaby. A metaphor that doesn’t yell — it just sits with you. That’s Merchant’s power. She doesn’t need volume. She needs space — and she knows how to fill it.



Final Thoughts

Natalie Merchant didn’t just survive leaving 10,000 Maniacs — she defined herself in the process. And that’s the real thread through all these stories: artists stepping away from the comfort of the group, betting on themselves, and making something real.

Sometimes the biggest moves aren’t loud.
They’re quiet.
Intentional.
Built on fault lines — and still, somehow, they hold.


This post was written for Jim Adams’ Song Lyric Sunday

Unspoken Notes

POETRY – MUSIC


Sometimes I ask myself
why jazz lives so deep in my skin.
It’s not just music—
it’s liquid neon on the inside,
saxophone sighs bending like light
across my bones.

Every note a pulse of color
I never learned to speak.
It says things
my mouth forgets how to form—
silken grief, slow joy,
that glimmer between ache and awe.

Each time I listen to Miles, Parker, Monk,
it takes me somewhere—
touches me in a place I can’t describe.
Like memory with no name,
just feeling.

Jazz glows like this:
chrome-slick and intimate,
as if someone turned emotion
into a spectrum
and let it dance across my soul.

The Stuff They Give Up (So the Rest of Us Don’t Have To)

Daily writing prompt
What sacrifices have you made in life?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Everyone makes sacrifices. That’s just part of being an adult—along with bills, back pain, and pretending to understand how taxes work. But some sacrifices don’t get enough credit. They’re quiet, constant, and totally underappreciated. Let’s start with parents.

Parents: The Masters of Silent Sacrifice

Sure, everyone knows parenting is hard. But it’s not just about surviving diaper blowouts or sitting through 300 replays of Frozen. It’s about the real, behind-the-scenes sacrifices. Like the mom who takes a job she doesn’t love just because it comes with decent health insurance. Or the dad who eats the last two bites of crusty mac and cheese instead of cooking himself dinner—again.

Parents give up more than time and money. They give up peace and privacy. They trade dreams for dental plans. And let’s not forget sleep. You could power a small city on the energy parents lose just trying to get a toddler to bed. It’s not glamorous. No one hands out medals for making it through a meltdown in Target. But these sacrifices shape lives. Quietly. Powerfully.

First Responders: Showing Up When It Counts

Then there are first responders—firefighters, EMTs, police officers—the folks who run toward danger while the rest of us are Googling “how to escape a burning building.” These people give up a lot too.

They miss holidays, birthdays, sleep… you know, all the fun stuff. And what do they get in return? Stress, trauma, and the joy of paperwork. Lots of paperwork. Plus, they carry memories most of us couldn’t handle—gritty, painful, unforgettable moments that stay long after the sirens stop.

And yet, they keep showing up. Not for glory. Not for a gold star. Just because someone has to—and they’ve decided it’ll be them.

The Sacrifices We Don’t See—But Should

Here’s the thing: whether it’s a parent sacrificing their sanity during a four-hour kindergarten play, or a paramedic showing up at 3 a.m. because someone else’s world just fell apart—these acts deserve more than a passing “thanks.” They deserve to be seen. Respected. Remembered.

Because at the end of the day, sacrifice isn’t always some big, dramatic gesture. Most of the time, it’s a thousand small decisions made out of love, duty, or just sheer stubborn commitment to doing what’s right.

And maybe a little caffeine.

The Slap Bible (MiMi Edition):

Daily writing prompt
What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE – ME CUTTING UP

I Don’t Slap for Free, But I Would

A Field Guide to Slappin’ Sense into the Senseless

MiMi used to say, “Don’t let me slap the taste out ya mouth.”
I never really got it as a kid. Thought it was just one of those old-school sayings.
She also proudly declared herself a lifelong member of the “Slap-a-Hoe” tribe—a community based in tough love, real consequences, and zero tolerance for nonsense.

I didn’t understand it then.
But then I got older… and started experiencing dumbshit firsthand.

Now I get it. Fully.


If slapping people for dumbshit was a job, I’d have seniority, stock options, and a custom glove.
I wouldn’t even need a career—just one day. One glorious 24-hour shift to clean up the streets and correct the vibes.

This isn’t just about rage. This is about justice.
Public safety. Social service. Soul alignment via hand-to-face contact.

Training? You think this kind of precision comes naturally? Nah.
I’ve spent countless hours jabbing my hands into a bucket of sand, conditioning my palms for maximum impact.
Builds the strength for a proper open-hand slap and the disrespect required for a cold, sharp backhand.


And if you need an example of how a proper slap should be executed, look no further than the late, great Legend: Bernie Mac.

Take a moment. Pull up that clip from Head of State. (
You know the one—where he walks off that bus and starts slappin’ people like it’s a spiritual duty?
That wasn’t a movie scene. That was a demonstration. A clinic in open-hand excellence.

The footwork. The commitment. The follow-through. That man slapped with his whole soul.
Wrist loose. Elbow firm. Palm flat. Delivery: divine.
Each slap had meaning. Each face deserved it. And honestly, each viewer felt seen.

That’s the energy. That’s the standard.
Bernie didn’t act—he activated.



The Sacred Code of the Slap-a-Hoe Tribe

Founded: Unofficially. Feared: Universally.
Motto: “Talk reckless, get checked.”

Membership Requirements:

  • Must have an intolerance for foolishness.
  • Must be capable of delivering a slap with intention, precision, and righteous indignation.
  • Must not slap indiscriminately—only when dumbshit reaches terminal levels.

Core Rules:

  1. Thou shalt not let foolishness go unchecked.
  2. Slaps must be earned, not given.
  3. Always slap with an open palm and a closed heart.
  4. One slap = one lesson.
  5. Respect the elders. MiMi walked so we could slap.

Tools of the Trade:

  • Conditioned hands
  • Glove of Judgment™
  • Mirror (for self-reflection after impact)
  • Corn Huskers Lotion – to keep hands conditioned.

Known Tribal Territories:

  • Family cookouts
  • Grocery store lines
  • Playgrounds – when parents get carried away, stating their children are angels.
  • That one auntie’s porch where truths are handed out with sweet tea

To be Slap-a-Hoe is to be a protector of peace. A guardian of sense. A bringer of clarity.


People Who Deserve to Be Slapped (Not a Complete List):

  1. Jackasses who change the formula on tasty foods.
    How dare you play with my emotions like that? That recipe was perfect. Nobody asked for “less sugar” or “new texture.” I hope you stub your toe forever.
  2. People who pick on others for no rational reason.
    What’s it like being a grown adult with playground bully energy? Get over here and take this slap like a good boy.
  3. Asshats who disrespect women just for existing.
    Oh, you’re about to be humbled. You’re gonna be a Bitch, today. No days off.
    I learned this rule the hard way.
    Left side of my face? Leather. Right side? Baby’s bottom.
    That slap didn’t just reset my attitude—it synced it with the truth.
  4. Folks who say “Let’s agree to disagree” after saying something objectively wrong.
    Nah. You don’t get to be wrong and smug. Open palm. Full swing. Learn something.
  5. People who chew with their mouths open in a quiet room.
    You get one warning. Repeated offenses may not be a war crime, but it feels like one. You’re getting slapped on principle.
  6. Adults who say “I’m just brutally honest” as a cover for being rude and unwashed.
    Cool, I’m just brutally slappy. Let’s compare styles.
  7. Anyone who thinks “The customer is always right.”
    The customer is often loud, wrong, and overdue for a palm-to-cheek correction.

I don’t need a title. I don’t need a desk.
Just give me a list, a stretch break, and a reason.

Soft foods. Straws. Humbled souls.
That’s the care package I leave behind.

MiMi tried to warn y’all. I’m just the one delivering the message. Why only one day, I have a feeling my hands would be sore

Camping: Because Paying to Be Miserable Is Apparently a Thing

Daily writing prompt
Have you ever been camping?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE


An open letter to everyone who thinks bug bites and canned beans are a good time.

Look, I get it. “Camping is so refreshing,” they say. “It’s healing! It helps you disconnect!”

Cool. So does turning your phone off and taking a nap in a real bed. Because let’s be honest—camping is just voluntary homelessness with snacks.

Yes, yes, I’ve heard the propaganda:

“It reduces stress!”
“It reconnects you with nature!”
“You’ll sleep better!”

Really? Have you ever tried sleeping in a zipped-up nylon taco, on top of a rock, while a mosquito EDM festival rages six inches from your face? Nature isn’t hugging you. It’s hazing you.

Let’s get into it.


1. The Weather Is a Liar
The app said sunny. You packed shorts. Now it’s 3 a.m., your sleeping bag’s a sponge, and you’re praying your tent doesn’t collapse in the downpour. Mother Nature doesn’t care about your forecast—she’s here to ruin your socks and your spirit.


2. Bugs: The True Camp Counselors
“Oh, just a few mosquitoes,” they said. Wrong. It’s an insect Thunderdome out there. Mosquitoes, spiders, ants, bees—plus one raccoon with dead eyes and a chip addiction. You’re not at the top of the food chain. You’re on the menu.


3. You Paid to Be Miserable
Congrats! You dropped $300 on gear to cosplay as a frontier orphan. No mattress. No bathroom. No fridge. Just you, the dirt, and a can of baked beans sweating in your backpack. It’s like glamping, minus the “glam.”


4. The Bathroom Situation (A Horror Story)
It’s midnight. You’re squatting over a questionable log. One hand’s holding a flashlight, the other is praying to the god of not-peeing-on-poison-ivy. This isn’t “rustic.” It’s trauma.


5. Fresh Air Exists in Cities Too
If you want to breathe clean air, open a window. You don’t have to wander into the woods like some kind of Wi-Fi-less pioneer to feel “connected.” There’s a park near your house. It has benches and cell reception.


6. Campfire Cooking Is a Scam
Grilled hot dogs on a stick you found near a squirrel nest? Wow. Truly the Iron Chef experience. And let’s not forget the burnt marshmallows—nothing says “nature cuisine” like charred sugar goo stuck to your molars.


7. Sleep? In This Economy?
Nature sounds peaceful… until you’re trying to sleep. Then it’s either murderously silent or an audio jungle of crickets, raccoons, owls, and something growling that you’re definitely not Googling right now. You won’t get REM. You’ll get hypervigilant.


Final Thoughts
Camping is a beautiful, wholesome way to deeply regret your choices. If your idea of fun is working hard to be cold, itchy, hungry, and slightly feral—great! Have at it.

As for me? I’ll be inside. With flush toilets, strong coffee, and the blessed hum of air conditioning. Nature can stay outside where it belongs—preferably behind a double-paned window. With a lock.

Anxiety, a Cigarette, and a Stranger’s Grace

Describe a random encounter with a stranger that stuck out positively to you.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE


Over time, a lot of strangers have helped me. Oddly enough, most of them have been women. It’s like I’ve been walking around with an invisible T-shirt that says, “I’m a Hot Mess… Please Help!” I’ve never figured out why, but I’ve stopped questioning it. Sometimes, people just show up when you need them.

One moment stands out. I was supposed to be helping my mom, but I was just running a few errands. I walked into a building where they were hosting some kind of event to promote a new internet service. The moment I stepped inside, something hit me. A wave of anxiety, confusion — I don’t even know what. I couldn’t breathe. I bolted out of the building and stood on the corner, trying to catch my breath. I lit a cigarette, hoping it would calm me down. It didn’t.

Then I saw her — a woman walking in my direction. She noticed me, stopped, and asked if I was alright. I don’t remember what I said, but she didn’t leave. She stayed and talked to me, just casual, steady conversation. Nothing deep, just enough to slow things down. She handed me a bottle of water, like she somehow knew I needed it. After a while, the tightness in my chest eased. I felt grounded again. Eventually, I thanked her and went back inside to finish the errand.

She didn’t have to stop. She didn’t have to do anything. But she did — and that kindness stuck with me.

The Rhythm of Leadership

Daily writing prompt
Are you a leader or a follower?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

You’re both. We all are.

The idea that you’re either a leader or a follower — like those are fixed roles — doesn’t hold up in real life. Some moments ask you to step up. Others ask you to support. And knowing which role the moment calls for? That’s the real work.

We put too much weight on titles, as if the label makes the leader. But leadership isn’t a crown — it’s a responsibility. And following? That’s not failure. It’s often the smartest, strongest move in the room.

And then there’s gender — the quiet referee shaping who gets seen as “fit” to lead. A panicked child in the ER? Everyone turns to the woman in the room, like compassion lives in estrogen. A life-or-death rescue? Suddenly it’s “someone get a man in here,” as if courage and risk come with testosterone.

But sometimes, it’s the male nurse who brings the calm — not by raising his voice, but by kneeling down, steady and human.
And sometimes, it’s the female firefighter who leads the call — clear-eyed, no hesitation, already carrying the consequences before anyone else has even moved.

I’ve never considered myself a leader. But I have led.

Not in a flashy, take-charge kind of way — more like noticing what was slipping and quietly stepping in. It was during a group project that had completely stalled. No one was talking. Everyone was waiting for someone else to take charge. So I did. I laid out what we knew, broke the work into parts, and got people moving again. Not because I wanted to lead, but because silence was killing the thing.
When it was over, I faded back. No parade, no title. Just done.

Same goes for everyday work. Maya, a developer with no leadership title, sees her team veering off track. The manager’s underwater. Maya steps up. She rewrites a tangled spec doc, runs a quick sync, and gets people re-centered. No applause, no ego. Just clarity, action, and results. And when the dust settles, she steps back.

That’s leadership. That’s rhythm.

Lead. Follow. Don’t Get in the Way.

Susan Cain calls it quiet strength. Joseph Badaracco sees it in moral action taken when no one’s watching. I see it in people who don’t chase control — they show up, read the room, and do what needs doing.

The real question isn’t “Are you a leader or a follower?”
It’s this:
Can you read the moment — and be honest enough to become what it needs?

Did You Eat Your Vegetables?

Daily writing prompt
List your top 5 favorite fruits.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Plot twist: You’ve been eating fruit all along.

You ever bite into a tomato and think, “Wow, this vegetable is juicy, sweet, and suspiciously… fruity?” Well, congratulations — your instincts are sharper than your neighbor’s knives set. Because here’s the hard truth:

Tomatoes are fruit. So are cucumbers. And zucchini. And eggplants.

That’s right. Your salad is a fruit salad in disguise. Your stir-fry? Basically fruit cobbler without the sugar. Let’s talk about it.

🥒 The Great Vegetable Lie

Botanically speaking, a fruit is anything that grows from the flower of a plant and carries seeds. Vegetables, meanwhile, are things like roots (carrots), stems (celery), or leaves (spinach). You know — the boring parts. The greens your grandma tried to boil into submission.

But fruits? Fruits are the showoffs. The divas. The drama queens of the plant world, demanding, “Look at my seeds! I am the chosen one!”

And yet, we still treat them like veggies. Why?

Because humans are petty and organized the produce aisle based on vibes.

🍆 Welcome to the Fruity Bunch:

  • Tomatoes – The Benedict Arnold of vegetables. Shows up in salsa, but has the DNA of a peach.
  • Cucumbers – Spa fruit disguised as a crunchy vegetable.
  • Zucchini – Basically a green banana with imposter syndrome.
  • Eggplant – Dark, moody fruit that wants to be left alone.
  • Bell peppers – All color, no commitment. Still a fruit.
  • Pumpkins – Halloween’s fruity mascot. Also pie’s best-kept secret.
  • Avocados – The only fruit that tries to be butter.
  • Olives – Salty little fruits that got lost in a martini and never left.

🥗 So What Now?

Next time someone offers you a “vegetable medley,” just know you’re eating a fruit salad with a PR problem. Maybe we’ve been too harsh on the pineapple-on-pizza people. They were ahead of their time. Maybe everything belongs on pizza. (Except raisins. Raisins can stay banned.)

So go ahead — live your truth. Eat your fruit-veggies. Call your tomato what it really is: a juicy red betrayal.

And remember: in the garden of life, labels are made to be peeled.


She Sings Forward the Fire

PROSE – FOWC, RDP, 3TC #MM57, SOCS


Her face, a still sea at twilight, holds a world behind closed eyes — a world scorched and sacred. Beneath the surface of her skin, time moves differently. The tear sliding down her cheek isn’t sorrow alone; it’s layered, like sediment pressed by centuries. It’s the weight of what was lost, and the stubborn, aching beauty of what still lingers.

In the palm of her silence, you can almost hear it: the laughter of ancestors, brittle with joy; the soft rustle of silk on temple floors; the sweet hush before a prayer. Memory lives here not as a ghost, but as a fire — not to destroy, but to illuminate. What we love, we do not forget. It settles into us, builds its shrine in the quietest chambers of the self.

She is witty, yes — but her wit is not for show. It’s forged from survival. Every word she withholds is a choice, every glance a negotiation between pain and pride. She has learned to speak with her silences, to wield them sharper than swords.

Wilful — not out of defiance, but necessity. She resists erasure. She refuses to dim. Within her, temples rise from ashes not as ruins, but as rebirth. Her breath is a hymn to endurance. Her heartbeat, a drum summoning the past into the present.

There is something wondrous in the way she holds it all — grief, fire, memory, and light — without collapsing. As if her soul was built to hold contradictions, to sing through them. A tear falls, yes. But it falls like a bell chime, echoing inward. Each note asking, not “Why me?” but “What now?”

She does not seek to escape the past.
She sings forward the fire.

How to Fall Apart (and Call It Progress)

Daily writing prompt
What does freedom mean to you?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE


A discussion about becoming unraveled, unburdened

What does freedom even mean? It’s like one of those made-up words everyone thinks they understand, but no one actually does. We toss it around in debates, slap it on bumper stickers, or turn it into a hashtag. Then we try to sound deep by asking, “In what sense do you mean — philosophical, political, personal?” But let’s be honest: most of that is just smoke to dodge the real answer. Which is, simply: I don’t have a clue.

We often treat freedom like a buzzword—something we claim, defend, hashtag, or stick on the back of a truck. It’s sold as autonomy, choice, and the sacred right to do whatever we want whenever we want. But real freedom? It’s not that flashy. It’s quieter, more internal, often inconvenient, and much harder to define. You don’t notice it on a billboard, and it won’t trend for long. It might even be harder to see, because it begins not with what we do, but with how we perceive—how we see ourselves, others, and what we think life owes us.

Across spiritual traditions—Buddhism, Taoism, Sufism, Christianity, Judaism, Islam—a pattern emerges: we are not free by default. We’re born into inherited scripts, societal myths, and a mess of cravings, fears, and projections. Most of our lives are spent reacting to things we don’t even understand. It’s like trying to win a board game where the rules are vague, the instructions are missing, and someone keeps changing the goalposts when you’re not looking. No wonder we’re tired.

Freedom, in the deeper sense, isn’t about getting our way. It’s about seeing clearly enough that we’re no longer at the mercy of every craving, trigger, or existential itch. In Buddhism, this means recognizing dukkha (suffering) and its cause, tanhā (craving). Sufism centers on taming the nafs — the unrestrained, insatiable ego. Taoism discusses abandoning the exhausting need to force outcomes and instead moving with the current.

Christianity points us to the idea that freedom comes not through control but through the purification of the heart. “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.” Not “they shall win,” not “they shall be promoted,” but see. It’s not exactly the promise of a six-figure salary, but it might be worth more. Judaism and Islam also make it clear that freedom is not about breaking the rules, but living in alignment with something truer and eternal. In other words, you’re not the center of the universe — and that might be the best news you’ll hear all day.

This challenges our cultural obsession with control. As Ishmael shows us, modern civilization has wrapped freedom in the myth of domination. We think freedom means being the boss—of nature, of time, of each other. But domination isn’t freedom. It’s just anxiety in a power suit. The more we try to force the world to match our expectations, the more we suffer when it doesn’t.

And yet, even when we “get it,” the work is anything but linear. Sometimes, the path to freedom involves breaking down. Not the tidy kind of unraveling you read about in memoirs, but the ugly, confusing, no-GPS type of collapse. And oddly enough, that might be necessary. Because falling apart can strip away what was never really you. It can expose what’s underneath the performance, the control, the coping. You meditate one morning and snap at someone by lunch. You let go of a toxic habit, then dream about it for a week.

That’s because fundamental transformation creates cognitive dissonance—the friction between the polished self we’ve been taught to perform and the inconvenient truths trying to surface, like realizing that your definition of success might be making you miserable, or that the life you built isn’t the one you actually want. The system shakes when what we’ve believed can no longer hold up to what we’re beginning to feel. It’s disorienting. But that disorientation is a gift. It’s how the mind makes space for something more honest.

That’s not regression. It’s evidence you’re alive and paying attention — maybe even transforming.

Absolute freedom isn’t being untouchable. It’s being touchable without falling apart. It’s having enough self-awareness to recognize when you’re being hijacked by old stories, and enough stillness to pause before you reenact them. Learning to laugh at your own nonsense is key before it convinces you it’s the voice of God. You don’t destroy the ego; you learn not to take it so seriously.

And here’s the kicker: understanding isn’t the end of the journey—it is the journey. Freedom begins the moment you start to see differently: when the illusion cracks just enough to let in the light, or, just as often, when the darkness teaches you to feel your way through. The dark isn’t the enemy; it’s where the roots grow, where silence speaks, where real seeing begins. Understanding doesn’t guarantee peace but gets you in the room with it. And that, on most days, is freedom enough.

Perhaps today marks the opening of a much deeper conversation—scary, uncomfortable, and sometimes downright mean. A conversation that shakes the foundation of who we think we are, or who we’ve been told to be. It may challenge the ideals we’ve long held sacred. My question is this:

Do we need that kind of disruption to be free?

I know I do. Yeah, I’m scared. I’m frustrated. I’m pissed off. But I also know it’s necessary—because this discomfort is where I grow into the man I actually want to be.

Mistake were Made: The Shame pt 2

FICTION

The Diner (Where Grease Meets Regret)

The Grease Trap Diner stood like a beacon of poor decisions made slightly better with hash browns. It had peeling booths, 24-hour fluorescent lighting, and the smell of burnt bacon baked into every surface.

Harper wrinkled her nose as we stepped inside. “It’s like someone deep-fried sadness and put it on a plate.”

A waitress appeared, equal parts tired and unamused. Her nametag was upside down, and she looked like she had just crawled out of a regrettable night and into her shift without a detour through self-care. Mascara slightly smudged. Hair bun defying physics. Coffee in one hand, soul long departed.

She stared at me like she was reliving something traumatic. “Oh. Look who’s alive.”

“You remember me?” I asked.

“You cried into a pancake.”

Harper clapped a hand over her mouth to stifle the laugh. “You always make such a strong impression.”

The waitress slid us into a booth with the energy of someone who had absolutely zero left to give. “You and Tank Top Man came in here at like 3 a.m., tried to order nachos using interpretive dance, and then debated the moon landing with a jukebox.”

“I’m starting to think I owe this entire city an apology,” I muttered.

She poured us coffee like she was dealing cards in a poker game she had already lost. “You made me promise I’d never speak of it. But here we are.”

Harper leaned in, still grinning. “Any chance he left a wallet here?”

The waitress—Marge, apparently, per her crooked tag—shook her head. “Nah. But you wouldn’t shut up about Lucky Note Karaoke. Said you needed to ‘redeem your voice and your legacy.’”

“That sounds like something I would drunkenly declare,” I admitted.

“You also said you were going to drop the mic and your toxic tendencies. Then you stole a breadbasket.”

Harper blinked. “Why a breadbasket?”

“I claimed it was symbolic,” I muttered.

Marge handed me a receipt with a scrawled note on the back:
“Raj still owes you the mic. Lucky Note Karaoke.”

Harper raised an eyebrow. “Raj?”

“I have no memory of that name, which means it’s probably important.”

The Karaoke Bar (Where Self-Respect Goes to Die)

Lucky Note Karaoke looked like a speakeasy run by tone-deaf ghosts. The lighting was dim; the carpet was sticky, and a muffled rendition of Living on a Prayer wailed from the next room.

“I already hate it here,” Harper muttered.

“I think this is where I transcended,” I said.

Raj, the bartender, looked up as we approached. “Ah. The tenor of tequila returns.”

“Raj,” I said. “Please tell me you found a wallet. It’s black, a little beat up, contains my entire sense of security.”

Raj smirked and reached under the bar. “This one?”

I nearly wept.

“I kept it here,” he said, “because you made me swear not to give it to you unless you remembered the sacred vow.”

Harper arched an eyebrow. “What vow?”

Raj grinned and held up a napkin. Scrawled in my chicken-scratch handwriting were the words:
“Future me: if you’re reading this, you’re probably panicking. Don’t. I hid the wallet here. Because drunk-you was a liability. You’re welcome. Also, drink water, you crusty bitch.”

I stared at it in silence.

Harper burst out laughing so hard she had to sit down.

“I hate and respect myself,” I whispered.

Raj handed over the wallet. “Cards intact. Cash untouched. You even tucked in a note that just says: ‘Remember: NO BACKFLIPS.’”

“I want to go home,” I said, taking it reverently.

“You said that last night,” Raj replied. “Right before singing Bohemian Rhapsody like you were exorcising a demon.”

Return of the Wallet Warrior

Back at the apartment, I collapsed on the couch like a war hero returning from the front lines. My wallet—miraculously intact—was now clutched in both hands like it contained ancient wisdom.

Harper tossed her jacket onto a chair and flopped down across from me, watching like a judge awaiting a confession. “So. You retrieved the sacred artifact. At what cost?”

I opened the wallet and rifled through it.
Cards? Present.
Cash? Surprisingly untouched.
Sanity? Negotiable.

“I think I aged five years,” I said. “Also, apparently, I’m prone to hiding things from myself when drunk. Like a paranoid raccoon.”

Harper leaned forward. “So… lessons learned?”

I nodded solemnly. “Never attempt a backflip. Never trust tequila. Never trust myself.”

“Three truths,” she said. “Write them on your wall.”

Then she pulled out her phone.

“What’s that?” I asked.

She smirked. “Your final humiliation.”

I watched in slow horror as she pressed play on a voicemail. My own voice, slurred and self-important, filled the room:

“Hey, future me. It’s past you. I know you’re probably panicking right now because you’re a dumbass. Don’t worry. I hid your wallet at the karaoke bar. You made me do it. You’re welcome. Also, you’re gonna want Gatorade. And don’t call your ex. I know you’re thinking about it. DON’T.”

There was a long pause on the message. Then, faintly, “…I think I might be a genius.”

Harper was in tears.

“I am,” I said slowly, “my own unreliable narrator.”

“You left yourself a drunk fail-safe,” she said. “Like an alcoholic Mission: Impossible.”

“It actually worked,” I whispered.

Harper grinned. “Too bad you’ll never live it down.”

Scene 8: The Final Baby Step

The next morning, I downloaded a wallet-tracking app, activated it, and set up notifications. I was taking control, being responsible.

I was… learning?

Harper wandered into the room, half-awake, sipping coffee. “Look at you. Growing.”

“I’m trying,” I said. “Baby steps.”

She nodded.

Then paused.

“Where’s your phone?”

I blinked.

Patted my pockets.

Checked the couch cushions.

Looked under the cat.

“…Oh no.”

Harper sipped. “Back to the quest, Odysseus.”

THE END
(Or is it?)

Did I tell you about the time Harper stalked a stripper

Mistakes Were Made: The Shame pt 1

FICTION – FOWC & RDP

The Morning After

If you ever wake up and immediately regret being alive, congratulations—you’re probably me.

My skull was hosting a drum circle led by caffeine-deprived raccoons. My mouth felt like an unnamed beauty had sandpapered it with a vendetta with every man who dissed her ever, and my limbs responded to commands in defiance like they were on strike. Everything hurt, especially my dignity.

I groaned, rolled over, and promptly fell off the bed onto my work boots. Those lace hooks really hurt. Classic.

As I clawed my way upright, fragments of last night teased my consciousness—neon lights, slurred toasts, someone yelled “SEND IT!” (possibly me), and the faint memory of interpretive dancing to an EDM remix of Ave Maria.

Then it hit me.
Something was missing.

I patted myself down. Phone? Somehow still miraculously clinging to life under the pillow. Keys? Jangling mockingly on the nightstand. Wallet?

No wallet.

I picked up my jeans from the corner and checked the pockets. I wondered how they got there. Then realized that nothing was going to be normal today.

Cue the internal scream.

I scrambled to check under the bed, between couch cushions, inside the fridge (don’t ask), and even in the washing machine. No dice.

Panic was slowly rising like a bad dubstep drop when the door creaked open.

Harper, the Roommate of Judgement

“Lose something, hero?”

There she stood: Harper. The kind of roommate who alphabetized the spice rack and judged you silently when you microwaved leftover fish. She was holding a mug that said, ‘I Tolerate You’, which honestly felt generous.

I blinked at her, attempting to appear casual while definitely radiating the aura of a feral raccoon.

“My wallet,” I croaked. “I think it… wandered off.”

Harper leaned against the doorframe like she was starring in a sarcastic soap opera. “Well, unless your wallet’s name is Travis and it yells about late-stage capitalism when drunk, you left with someone else last night.”

“Travis?” I asked, brain lagging.

She sipped her coffee with the grace of a smug swan. “Tall, loud, wore a tank top with a motivational quote that was both inspirational and wildly inaccurate. You two were in a budding bromance bonding over tequila shots and something about ‘seizing the narrative’.”

“…I’m scared of me,” I whispered.

“You should be.”

I collapsed onto the couch. “Tell me we didn’t go clubbing.”

“We did. Or at least, you did. You left this apartment yelling ‘THE NIGHT IS YOUNG, AND SO AM I!’ “Drink, dance, and Conquer!” even though both those statements were lies.”

I groaned. “Please tell me we ended at the diner.”

“We always end at the diner,” she said. “You made out with a corn dog and a bottle of mustard.”

“…Romance is dead.”

She tossed me a bottle of water and a packet of aspirin with the precision of someone who had done this before. Too many times. “Find your wallet. I’m not covering your avocado toast debt again.”

With the grace of a hungover possum, I stood up. “Time to retrace my shame.”

“Godspeed, wallet warrior,” Harper called after me, already halfway back to bed. “And try not to lose your soul this time.”

The Pub (Where It All Went Wrong)

The sun assaulted my retinas like it had a personal vendetta. I stumbled onto the sidewalk, blinking like a mole emerging from its hole, while Harper followed behind me, arms crossed, coffee in hand, deeply regretting her life choices.

“Are we walking into your shame voluntarily now?” she asked.

“Retracing my steps. Like a detective. A very dehydrated detective with a bad haircut and no clue.”

She snorted. “So… yourself.”

We reached The Pickled Elbow, the pub where the descent into chaos had apparently begun. It looked innocent enough in daylight—wood-paneled charm, cheerful chalkboard sign out front. Like the kind of place that would lull you into bad decisions with discounted craft beer and 2000s pop playlists.

Inside, the bartender looked up as we entered. She wore the tight smile of someone who’d seen it all and did not want to see any of it again.

“Oh,” she said, narrowing her eyes at me. “It’s you.”

“Hi,” I said, sheepishly. “I think I lost my wallet here last night.”

“You mean after you got on the bar and tried to convince the crowd you invented the espresso martini?”

Harper burst out laughed so hard she nearly spilled her coffee. “You what?”

The bartender—Gina—shrugged. “He was passionate. Loud. Slightly wrong.”

I flushed. “Right. So, no wallet?”

Gina shook her head. “Nope. But you left with a guy named Travis. Tank top. Looked like he got rejected from a CrossFit cult.”

Harper nodded like it all made sense. “The prophet of bad life choices.”

“Also,” Gina added, pulling a wrinkled napkin from behind the bar, “you made me promise to give you this.”

I unfolded it. It said, in my own handwriting:
“IF I GET LOST, CHECK THE MEAT PALACE. THE TRUTH IS THERE.”

Harper peered over my shoulder. “What the hell is the Meat Palace?”

I stared at the napkin. “I think… it might be the club.”

She sighed. “Of course it is.”

As we turned to go, I found myself reflecting on just how often I ended up here—metaphorically and literally. A bar, a mistake, a blackout, and a joke that stopped being funny. I wasn’t just losing wallets. I was losing my grip on being someone I recognized in the morning. There was a certain bewilderment in that realization that dug deeper than I’d like to admit.

The Club (A.K.A. The Meat Palace)

We stood outside a neon-soaked warehouse with a line of people already queuing like they were about to enter battle. The bass thumped like a distant migraine.

Harper looked up at the glowing sign:
CLUB INFERNO.
Below it, in smaller font: Home of the $5 Mystery Shot.

“This place smells like Axe body spray and desperation,” Harper muttered.

“I vaguely remember trying to backflip here,” I said. “I cannot do a backflip.”

“You also can’t walk straight, so that checks out.”

The bouncer stopped me. “ID?”

Harper raised an eyebrow. “This is the part where you realize the comedy of your situation.”

I gave the bouncer my saddest eyes. “I lost my wallet. Can I just ask the bartender something real quick?”

He folded his arms. “No ID, no entry.”

“I have a photo of him doing the worm in here last night,” Harper offered, holding up her phone. “In a banana costume.”

The bouncer looked. Blinked. Grunted. “Five minutes.”

We had to scoot around a line of club kids in rhinestones and mesh to get through the door. Every one of them looked like the embodiment of my hangover’s worst nightmare.

We pushed through the crowd toward the bar. The lights flashed violently. My brain considered self-immolation.

At the bar, the bartender gave me a once-over. “Oh, God. You again.”

“I was hoping that was a collective fever dream,” I said.

“You kept shouting ‘THIS IS MY SONG!’ during a techno remix of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star,” she said. “And tried to tip me with lint.”

Harper let out a strangled noise. “Please. Tell me there’s security footage.”

“No wallet,” the bartender added. “But you were ranting about karaoke. Something about reclaiming your narrative through power ballads.”

I turned to Harper. “It’s worse than I thought.”

She looked at me a little more closely then. Not just annoyed or amused—concerned. And maybe I saw it too. This wasn’t just another night out. It was a pattern. I wasn’t looking for a wallet. I was looking for proof I hadn’t completely lost myself. That some idealistic version of me still existed beneath the chaos.

“Yeah,” she said. “We’re going to a karaoke bar.”

Earned Peace and a Fondness for Naps

Daily writing prompt
What is your career plan?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

What’s my career plan?
I’m retired. Gloriously, defiantly, finally retired.
No more war zones. No more herding soldiers at 0500. And absolutely no more trying to stretch a budget tighter than my last pair of combat boots.

I’ve led through chaos, built structure from madness, and kept people alive with little more than grit, instinct, and caffeine. I’ve done the job. All of it. And then some.

Now? I plan to enjoy the serenity that years of devotion, discipline, and flat-out fortitude bought me. Paid in full.

So forgive me if I’m not lining up for another round of deadlines and drama. I’ve traded in my battlefield for a hammock and a hard boundary around my time. Sure, maybe I’ll mentor someone if they’re worth the time and actually willing to listen. Maybe I’ll consult if the cause is right. But only if it fits between my morning coffee and an aggressively scheduled nap.

So what’s my plan? To finally not have one. And that freedom? That’s the reward.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a nap to defend like it’s sacred ground.
Because it is.

The Living Room Sessions: Halestorm at Their Most Human

Daily writing prompt
What was the last live performance you saw?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

My brother introduced me to Halestorm. At the time, I was into The Pretty Reckless, which sparked a conversation about female-led rock bands. Over the years, we’ve caught Halestorm live a few times and always came away impressed. But when we saw The Living Room Sessions Tour, it was on a different level—we honestly didn’t have the words for what we witnessed.

The Living Room Sessions is Halestorm’s stripped-down acoustic tour, led by Lzzy Hale and Joe Hottinger. The concept is simple but powerful: remove the noise and big production and deliver the music raw—just vocals, guitars, and stories. It’s meant to feel like you’ve been invited into their space—not as an audience but as part of the conversation.

That’s exactly how it felt. Lzzy and Joe didn’t just perform; they connected. They shared songs, yes, but also the personal stories behind them—the influences, the struggles, the moments that shaped them as artists. Every track was reimagined acoustically, revealing emotional depth and nuance that sometimes gets buried in the full-band arrangements.

What stood out was how balanced the energy was. It was quiet but electric. Stripped-back but intense. It felt like being let in on a secret, and it hit harder than any arena show. We walked out knowing we’d just experienced one of the best live performances we’ve ever seen.

I’ll Remember April, But Not Like This

TUNAGE – MMB (APRIL)


Charles Mingus didn’t just play a jazz standard—he took it apart, set it on fire, and built something unforgettable.


“I’ll Remember April” is one of those jazz standards every musician runs into, eventually. It’s basically a jam session rite of passage—48 bars of twisty harmonic turns masquerading as a wistful ballad about lost love and changing seasons. I’ve been familiar with it for years. Played it, heard it, filed it under “That one tune that’s fun to blow over but nobody remembers the lyrics to.”

Then I heard the Charles Mingus versions.

Someone once told me, “There’s jazz, and then there’s Mingus.” At the time, I thought that sounded like one of those pretentious one-liners people drop in record stores to feel superior. But after diving into his takes on “I’ll Remember April,” I get it. Oh man, do I get it.

Mingus didn’t just cover “April.” He took it apart like a mad scientist, rewired its guts, jolted it with electricity, and dared you to still call it a “standard.”


The Café Bohemia Version (1955): Mingus and Roach Light a Fuse

Let’s start at Café Bohemia, 1955. Picture a packed New York club, cigarette smoke thick enough to chew, and a band that clearly didn’t come to play it safe. Max Roach sits in on drums, and if you’ve ever wanted to hear someone simultaneously keep time and destroy it, this is your moment.

The melody of “April” makes a brief cameo, like it wandered onstage and then realized it was at the wrong gig. What follows is 13 minutes of fearless improvisation, with Mingus, Roach, and pianist Mal Waldron operating on some telepathic groupthink. The horns? They show up, but the rhythm section is driving the bus—and the bus is on fire.

Roach’s drumming is the engine room of this madness. His solo isn’t just technically jaw-dropping—it’s spiritually charged. He plays like he’s pulling sound from some ancient, elemental place. It’s powerful, commanding, and completely locked into the spirit of the tune, even as the band steamrolls past the recognizable parts of it. He doesn’t just support the performance—he embodies it.


The Antibes Version (1960): Bud Powell and the Beautiful Collision

Now fast-forward to 1960 at the Antibes Jazz Festival in France. Mingus is in full mythic form. His band includes avant-garde sorcerer Eric Dolphy, hard-bop bruiser Booker Ervin, and lyrical firebrand Ted Curson. Oh, and just to make things even more surreal—bebop piano legend Bud Powell drops in.

I was hypnotized by Powell’s piano. He doesn’t just comp—he sets the tone for the whole damn piece. His phrasing is gentle but firm, melancholic but insistent. He drove the vibe of the entire take with a calm storm underneath. It was a genius move by Mingus to bring him in. Powell didn’t just play the tune—he channeled it.

And as chaotic as the rest of the band is—Dolphy sounding like he’s melting into the fabric of reality, Ervin breaking every hard bop ceiling—Powell grounds the whole thing with this subtle gravitational pull. It’s stunning.


Same Tune, Two Earthquakes

Each of these versions is radically different, but neither feels careless. Each artist involved—Roach, Powell, Mingus himself—took the time to embody the nature and spirit of this piece. They didn’t just play “I’ll Remember April”; they meditated on it, exploded it, resurrected it.

Here’s the wildest part: I know I was listening to the same song. But these takes? They felt like two completely different pieces of music. That’s not just impressive, it’s disorienting in the most thrilling way.

Café Bohemia is all raw nerve and instinct, like jazz fighting for its life in a boxing ring. Antibes is a theatrical, kaleidoscopic manifesto with solos. Both are driven by Mingus’s refusal to play it safe. Both reveal just how much space one tune can contain if you’ve got the nerve to stretch it.

After hearing these, that old quote—“There’s jazz, and then there’s Mingus”—stopped sounding smug. It started sounding accurate.

Mingus didn’t interpret “I’ll Remember April.” He cracked it open, poured his entire brain into it, and gave us two versions that are less about remembering a month and more about never forgetting the man who dared to redefine it.



Skunk Anansie: The Band That Kicked Down the Britpop Door

TUNAGE – SLS

I wasn’t looking for a new band. I was elbow-deep in grease, rebuilding an engine, when Skunk Anansie hit my ears — completely by accident. They were playing in the background, and something about the sound stopped me cold. Mid-wrench, I froze. The voice, the chaos, the nerve of it. As someone who’s always had a thing for rock bands fronted by women, I knew instantly this wasn’t background noise — this was a warning shot. I scrawled their name on a scrap of paper, went back to torquing bolts, and forgot about it. Years later, I found that note again. The rest? History.

Turns out, the band that hijacked my afternoon was in the middle of torching the status quo.

Formed in 1994, Skunk Anansie didn’t show up to blend in. While Britpop was navel-gazing and pretending it was revolutionary, Skunk Anansie was actually shaking things up — loud, political, unapologetically Black and queer. They weren’t the sound of the mainstream. They were the sound crashing through it.

Their debut album, Paranoid & Sunburnt, landed like a brick through a glass ceiling. It was blistering, furious, and full of truth that most people weren’t ready to hear. They didn’t write “Selling Jesus” and “Little Baby Swastikkka” for radio; they wrote them to confront, provoke, and awaken listeners.

But one track hit me harder than I expected: Intellectualise My Blackness.”

As a Black man of a certain age in America, I felt that song. It screamed frustration, the tightrope walk between pride and exhaustion, the unspoken demand to constantly explain, justify, tone down, and translate your existence—to “intellectualize” something simply being who you are. The song doesn’t offer simple answers. It just screams the question we’re too often forced to answer: “Why do I need to prove my identity to you?”

It’s not just a powerful track. It’s personal.

And then there’s I Can Dream — the song that might’ve grabbed me all those years ago. It’s not about chasing dreams. It’s about drowning in them. Fantasies of power when the world keeps shutting you out. “I can dream that I’m someone else,” Skin snarls, and it’s not a wish — it’s a survival mechanism. That song doesn’t whisper. It breaks the silence wide open.

Which brings me to Skin herself. She’s not just the lead singer — she’s the force of nature steering the ship. A Black, openly gay woman with a voice like a controlled explosion and a stage presence that demands attention. She didn’t fit into the rock world’s mold — she shattered it. Watching her felt like watching someone fight for breath and win.

They called their sound “clit-rock,” because of course they did — loud, feminine, political, and deliberately hard to market. And they wore that label like armor.

Paranoid & Sunburnt wasn’t just a strong debut—it ripped the roof off what rock albums could be. It wasn’t sanitized, safe, or diluted. It was their truth, screamed at full volume. This album laid the groundwork for everything that followed: headlining Glastonbury as the first Black British-led act, performing for Mandela, sharing a stage with Pavarotti, and returning years later with 25LIVE@25 to remind everyone they never lost a step.

Skunk Anansie never asked for permission. They took up space, challenged everything, and demanded the world catch up. They’ll always be the band that made me put the wrench down — and feel something real.



Caught in the Heavy

FICTION – FOWC, RDP, 3TC


Caught in the Heavy

The corridor stretched on like a memory he couldn’t escape—narrow, dim, damp with a cold that clung to the skin like breath on glass. Mildew, rusted metal, and aging wood tinged the air, a scent that settled into the lungs and whispered of long-forgotten places. Floorboards groaned beneath his boots, their brittle creaks echoing like old bones remembering how to hurt.

He stood in the middle of it all, unmoving. Not frozen by fear exactly—more like resignation. The kind that seeps in after the tenth mistake, the last apology, the moment you realize the story you’ve been living might never shift its ending. He used to think time would fix it. But time, he’d learned, doesn’t heal. It settles—like dust.

The walls pressed close with peeling wallpaper and old nail holes where lives once hung. He scanned them as if he might find his past nailed there, too. Maybe a younger version of himself in a photo frame, smiling with someone whose name he couldn’t say out loud anymore.

An unfortunate truth surfaced: he’d chosen this silence. No one forced him here. He pulled away. He locked the doors before anyone knocked. They called it being guarded—he called it survival.

On a crooked table sat a lone candlestick, melted to a stub. Its wax clung like a memory—dried, useless, but still intact. He reached for it absently, fingers brushing tarnished brass. Cold. Solid. Real. A reminder that even forgotten things still leave traces.

He wondered how long he’d been standing here. How long had he been waiting for the hallway to say something? But hallways don’t speak. They listen. They hold your silence for you until it grows too loud to ignore.

Everything around him felt heavy. His coat, soaked with damp air. His thoughts sagged with years of unanswered questions. Even his heartbeat felt labored, as if each thud carried the weight of something he refused to let go.

He closed his eyes and thought of the words he never said. The calls never returned. The glances he turned away from because he didn’t trust what he saw in them.

Regret was a slow grief, the kind you wear like skin. And the mind, cruel and calculating, was its favorite weapon. Not a blade, not a gun—just memory sharpened to a whisper that says, “this is who you really are,” when you least expect it.

Still, a thought rose unbidden through the noise—quiet, but firm:

We always try to overlook the past, because we can’t change it. But we forget the important factor about the past… the wisdom we gain from it.

He let the idea settle, warm against the cold inside him. Maybe that’s what he’d come here for. Not punishment. No escape. But understanding. A reckoning not with the pain itself, but with the lesson buried beneath it.

He didn’t move. Not because he couldn’t—but because this was the only place he could hear himself. This hallway wasn’t just a space. It was a mirror, a memory, a confessional.

A bulb overhead buzzed, casting him briefly in light—harsh, unflattering. His reflection in the warped glass at the far end looked like a man still mid-sentence, still caught between what he was and what he feared he’d never be.

Just enough light to prove he was still there.

Just enough to remind him that some corridors don’t lead out.
They lead in—and if you’re not careful, they never let you leave.

Brand Recognition: Can We Still Trust It, or Is It Just a Fancy Lie?

Daily writing prompt
What are your favorite brands and why?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Remember when seeing a brand you recognized actually meant something? Like, Oh cool, this probably won’t fall apart in two days or set my house on fire. Those were the days.

Now? Just because you know the name doesn’t mean you should trust it. In fact, sometimes it’s a red flag.

Brand Recognition: From Badge of Honor to Marketing BS

Back in the day, brand recognition was something companies earned. They made good stuff, treated customers decently, and didn’t have massive lawsuits hanging over their heads (well, fewer at least). If you recognized the name, it was because they built it on trust.

Now? Recognition just means you’ve seen enough ads to burn the logo into your brain like a bad tattoo.

You’re not “trusting” a brand—you’re just exhausted into submission by their marketing budget.

Famous ≠ Trustworthy

Let’s be real. We all know brands that have gone full villain arc.

Facebook (sorry, Meta) is basically that shady guy from high school who “accidentally” sells your data and then gaslights you about it. Everyone knows the name. Fewer trust it.

Volkswagen was out here waving the green flag with “clean diesel” while secretly dumping emissions like a smoke-belching cartoon villain.

And Amazon? Sure, it delivers cat socks in four hours, but it’s also quietly crushing small businesses and treating warehouse workers like they’re disposable batteries.

Recognition? Yes. Trust? Eh.

The Great Quality Drop: Lower Standards, Higher Prices

Let’s talk about the elephant in the store aisle: the stuff you buy from big brands isn’t as good anymore.

Clothes pill after two washes. Appliances break before the warranty even expires. Laptops throttle themselves to death because someone decided thinner was more important than functional cooling. And don’t get us started on “fast fashion”—it’s basically clothing with the lifespan of a ripe banana.

Brands are cutting corners left and right. Thinner fabrics, cheaper materials, shorter life cycles—all while jacking up the prices because “inflation” or whatever excuse they’re using this quarter. They’re banking on the fact that you trust the label, not that you’ll notice the buttons are falling off in week two.

This isn’t nostalgia. It’s measurable. Customer reviews across the board have turned into quality control complaint sections. You used to get what you paid for. Now you get what the boardroom decided would maximize Q4 profits.

Why This Actually Matters (Yes, Even to You)

Every day, we’re bombarded with choices—products, apps, influencers selling weird tea. It’s overwhelming. So we use shortcuts, like “Hey, I’ve heard of this brand; it must be good.”

Spoiler: That shortcut is broken.

Brands know this. That’s why they spend millions making sure you remember them, not necessarily respect them. They want to win your trust before they’ve earned it—like a Tinder date who brings a resume but no personality.

So What Do We Trust Now?

Instead of falling for the shiny logo or catchy jingle, try this:

  • Transparency > Hype
    Look for brands that actually show their work. Not the “inspiring mission” on the About page—real behind-the-scenes stuff. Think Patagonia, not PrettyLogoCo.
  • Reputation > Recognition
    Forget who spent the most on ads. What are real people saying? Not influencers with discount codes—actual customers, with receipts and opinions.
  • Accountability > Apologies
    Everyone messes up. The good brands admit it, fix it, and don’t hide behind a PR team with LinkedIn smiles.
  • Alignment > Loyalty
    You don’t owe any brand lifelong devotion. If they start slipping, ghost them. You’re not married.

Indie Brands That Actually Walk the Walk

While the big-name brands are busy chasing stock prices and pumping out “limited edition” garbage, a bunch of smaller, independent brands are out here doing what the big guys used to do: making solid products, standing for something real, and not treating you like an easily manipulated click.

Here are a few indie brands worth knowing:

  • Public Goods – Clean, minimalist everyday basics. No wild claims, no obnoxious packaging—just good stuff made right.
  • ROKA – Eyewear and active gear that doesn’t fly off your face when you move. Designed by athletes, not some bored branding agency.
  • Darn Tough—Yes, socks. But these are Vermont-made, ridiculously durable, and backed by a lifetime guarantee. For socks, that’s commitment.
  • All Citizens – Men’s basics that don’t cost luxury prices or fall apart in a week. Also, ethically made. Imagine that.
  • Otherland – Candles that actually smell like what the label says and don’t choke you out with fake perfume. Chic, clean, and not trying too hard.

These brands don’t rely on recognition—they rely on reputation. They’re not screaming at you through Super Bowl ads. They’re quietly building trust by making things that last and treating customers like people, not data points.

The Bottom Line

Just because you know a brand doesn’t mean you should trust it. These days, recognition is more about repetition than reliability. Don’t let a logo make decisions for you.

Ask yourself:

  • Do they walk the talk?
  • Do they treat people (and the planet) like crap?
  • Do their products actually work, or just photograph well on Instagram?

Trust is earned. Logos are just fonts.

And if you’re tired of paying more for less, maybe it’s time to stop rewarding brands that think “good enough” is still good enough.

The Deprivation Chronicles: Tales from the Edge of Sleep and Sanity

FICTION – MLMM #423

The darkness rolled in like it had something to prove. Real main-character energy. Clouds stacked overhead like they were about to drop the most dramatic breakup speech ever. The wind started howling—less “otherworldly whisper” and more “Karen demanding to speak to the manager of nature.” Windows rattled like they owed the wind money. Shutters flailed with the enthusiasm of someone who just realized they left the stove on.

The scent of rain filled the room, all ominous and moody, but of course—not a single drop. Just a tease. Rain was clearly ghosting the whole event.

A candle flickered in its blue glass holder, doing its best impression of ambience. It gave off an aura of “I tried, okay?”—like it had dreams once, but then it met grad school. Its flame danced like it had no rhythm but a lot of confidence, like that guy at weddings who thinks even the Electric Slide is freestyle.

He sat cross-legged in the middle of the room, surrounded by books stacked with the precision of someone deeply avoiding emotional responsibilities. It was less a cozy reading nook and more a literary panic fort. The spines practically shouted, “Look at us! We’re important! We’re unread!” Each story melted into the next until they formed a plot smoothie that tasted suspiciously like pretentiousness and unresolved metaphors.

Sleep tiptoed in like a cat with boundary issues. He was no longer in control—just a tired, passive spectator in a dream sponsored by confusion. The haze pulled him in gently, like a sentient weighted blanket with attachment issues.

Then it got weird.

He felt the warmth of her breath on his face. Comforting. Mysterious. And deeply concerning because, again, he lived outside of a romantic subplot. Who was this woman? Did she come with the house?

Her soft, wet lips pressed to his cheek—sweet, tender, and vaguely moist, like a warm fruit snack. He didn’t question it. Honestly, he didn’t want to know. A strand of hair brushed his brow with the precision of a motivational TikTok influencer wiping away his doubts and reminding him to hydrate.

He sank deeper. Into the story. Into the illusion. Into a pile of metaphors with no exit strategy. Reality became a suggestion. One he politely ignored.

Because sometimes, in the words of others, we somehow… somehow we find our own. And other times, we fall asleep halfway through a book and wake up with a paperback stuck to our cheek and a vague sense of accomplishment.

As the Inkwell Stirs

PROSE – 3TC #MM48 – MORNING VIBE

Night lingers longer than it should, clinging to the edges of the world like a thought half-forgotten. It doesn’t go easily. The air is still, but not gentle—there’s a sharpness to it, the kind of chill that doesn’t announce itself. It pricks at the skin, slow and methodical, working its way in until your body shivers and you’re not sure when it started.

You finish your smoke. One last flick. The ember cuts through the dark like a dying star—brief, insignificant, but final. Somewhere out there, homes stir. The floors creak. Feet drag in patterns worn deep by repetition. The restless shuffle begins, zombie-like and directionless, following the scent of timer-brewed salvation. Coffee. The first small mercy of morning.

You sit by the window with a cup, warm in your hands, and watch the sky peel itself open. First the black, then the dull gun-metal, then the faintest shade of pale. The blue comes slowly, unsure of its welcome. Beneath it all, the horizon simmers—red, orange, brown—like coals that never fully went out. A silent ember of the night’s final stand, glowing under the weight of a world about to move again.

The inkwell stirs, shakes off its rust. Its lid lifts like a breath held too long. The quill taps, tentative at first, testing the moment. No plan, no script. Just rhythm. Just the need to begin.

You pour another cup. The clock says 5 a.m.

And somewhere between the sip and the silence, Elvis Costello’s “Radio, Radio” crackles through the speakers—too loud for the hour, perfect for the mood. The voice is defiant, bright, sharp as a match strike. You listen, because the lyrics don’t ask—they insist. The static fades beneath the beat. The world hasn’t spoken yet, but it’s no longer asleep.


Coffee, Heels, Ramen, Commutes, and the End of the World

FICTION – FOWC & RDP

For most people, the holidays are a time for joy, togetherness, family, and other concepts pushed by commercials and overpriced airline tickets. Me? I got a new city, a new job, a new apartment, and not a single damn soul to split a drink with. A festive little cocktail of isolation, garnished with cold floors and ramen noodles.

Warm beer wasn’t a preference. It was apathy in a can. Every dollar was rationed like I was living in a bunker, waiting for a war that already came and went. All in service of building a “normal” life. Whatever that meant. Probably something people posted about with filters and hashtags while wondering how far they could lean out their windows without falling.

I stared out the window, coffee in hand—black, burnt, and bitter, just like me. Outside, the early morning parade of wage slaves stumbled toward their cars, moving like background actors in a post-apocalyptic sitcom. Another day of selling hours they’ll never get back. I lit a cigarette with my Zippo, watching the flame catch like it was lighting a fuse. It usually was.

Then she appeared. A brunette with an athlete’s build and a power suit tailored like a threat. She walked like the world owed her rent—somewhere between courtroom and catwalk. I didn’t know if it was lust, curiosity, or cabin fever talking, but after nine months of social starvation, she might as well have been a hallucination in heels.

I told myself I was meant to be a writer. The kind who bled truth onto paper and didn’t flinch. But instead, I was half-awake, smoking, and objectifying strangers. Not exactly Pulitzer material. So I turned back to my notebook. It was the only thing that didn’t feel fake. Just ink, paper, and whatever was left of my sanity—a loop I couldn’t seem to break.

Every morning, I wrote until 6:30. Then I’d drag myself into the shower and make the fifteen-minute commute that somehow always took an hour. Sixty minutes of bumper-to-bumper hostility. Everyone late, everyone pissed, everyone pretending their playlist made it okay. It was the same ritual every day—wake, write, shower, drive, repeat. Resist the urge to scream, loop through it again tomorrow.

My job? IT guy. The one people called after breaking things they didn’t understand, then blamed me for fixing too slowly. You could tell within thirty seconds I hated it. I didn’t try to hide it. Misery loves company. I hosted parties.

The paycheck kept the lights on, but not much else. I worked for a mid-tier company with big egos and small ideas. But lately, the rumor mill has been grinding overtime. Word was, we were getting bought out by some corporate giant with a thirst for blood and profit margins.

That meant an audit. Cue the chaos. People who spent the last six months tweeting through staff meetings were now sprinting to cover their asses. Watching them panic was the most fun I’d had in weeks. The hammer was coming, and I had the best seat in the house—coffee in hand, notebook open, waiting to see who’d get crushed first.

Corner Wisdom

Daily writing prompt
List the people you admire and look to for advice…

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

There have been plenty of people in my life I’ve admired and turned to for advice—too many to name, if I’m being honest. So instead of listing names, I’ll talk about a time in my life.

When I was a young buck, there were a few older gentlemen who used to hang out by the market. These cats preached—not religion, but life. No dogma, just wisdom. I’d stop by with a bag of penny candy and listen in.

Some of them also posted up at the barbershop, dropping the same kind of knowledge. I always wanted to be that cool—calm, sharp, and respected, with something real to say.

I’d go home and tell my auntie and MiMi about those guys. They’d tell me to stay out of grown folks’ business—and let me know which ones to steer clear of. But most of those men knew MiMi, so I was safe. Nobody messed with MiMi’s kinfolk.

Looking back, I probably wasn’t getting the full picture—just a watered-down version of what they were really saying. But I appreciated every bit I was able to soak up. It stuck with me.

Though I admired those men and wanted to be like them, I never thought I’d get there. Then one day, at my niece’s wedding, I was cutting up with my brothers, just talking mess, making people laugh. This young lady nearby was cracking up at us. Then she said, “I hope I’m this cool when I get old.”

We were floored. We’re a lot of things—but cool? That one caught us off guard.

But I’ll always remember this: people will remember your example more than your advice.

The Face Beneath

PROSE – FOWC & RDP

The dawn light was pale and useless—just a smear across the treetops, barely making it through the humidity. Everything was wet—the porch boards, the air, your skin, even your breath. It felt like you were breathing through cloth—heavy, damp cloth wrapped around your head.

You stood barefoot on the steps, a slice of watermelon dripping in your hand. It tasted like water and rot now, its sweetness gone. You spat into the grass and stared out at the treeline.

The forest didn’t move. Not even the leaves. It just watched.

You didn’t sleep. Not last night. Not really the night before. The dreams had stopped pretending to be dreams. They didn’t fade in the morning. They lingered in the corners of your vision and behind your ears, where the sound of whispering almost made sense.

You went out early. Needed to check the perimeter cameras. Needed to move. To feel the ground under your boots. That was the plan.

Instead, you wandered. The trail curved in a way it hadn’t before. You followed it. Past the markers. Past the thinning grass. And then it was just you and the dirt.

You nearly tripped over it. At first, just a glint of white in the soil. Bone, maybe. A rock. You crouched, brushed it off with the edge of your shirt. The shape took form fast.

A face.

Stone. Weathered. Cracked. Like it had been buried for years, forgotten. But the eye, just one, was too clean. Too precise. Like it had waited.

You stared at it for a long time. Tried to laugh. Couldn’t. You ran your fingers along the nose, the lips. Your hand trembled, but you didn’t stop.

It looked like you. Not exactly, but enough. The same line between the eyes. The same curve of the jaw. It had no expression, but somehow, it felt like it was judging you.

You left it there. Swore you would forget it.

But that night, you dreamed of breathing through stone. Heavy. Silent. Dreamed of dirt filling your mouth, your ears, your chest. Dreamed of a voice saying your name—not out loud, but from inside.

You woke up with soil under your fingernails.


You told yourself: it’s a statue. Left behind. Forgotten.

You told yourself: it’s just heat sickness, a little sleep deprivation.

You told yourself: don’t go back.

But the forest doesn’t let you decide things like that. Not anymore.


In the Voices of Thousands, We Become One

PROSE – MOONWASHED WEEKLY PROMPT


The sunlight fades. Darkness returns. I wait in the hush, breath held, heart steady. The Keepers stand ahead, already assembled—silent, still, and watchful. In their presence, I feel both small and eternal. Beneath my calm, something stirs—my soul, long quiet, surges suddenly. It’s not noise, not fear. It is truth moving through me like a forgotten rhythm remembered. A tremor rises from the deepest part of who I am, and with it comes a whisper: the light… the call… the quill. These were never external things. They lived within me all along. I had only forgotten how to listen.

In the distance, the sky bends to the horizon’s will. Waves of green light ripple across the dusk like an ancient truth brushing its fingers across the world. The field before me sparkles with dew, each blade of grass a tiny shard of clarity, reflecting the last breath of sunlight. This moment—caught between day and night, between silence and speech—feels sacred. My steed shifts beneath me, sensing the tension in my thoughts. He is anxious, ready. And maybe I am too. But readiness doesn’t feel like confidence. It feels like surrender. I tighten the reins—not to control, but to remind myself that I am here, that I have chosen this.

We ride—not toward victory, but toward purpose. Toward the gathering. Toward those who understand this strange calling to bear words like burdens, and gifts. We are not warriors. We are vessels. We carry stories that are older than we are, stories that ask to be told again, each time a little more fully. We move as one toward the collective, not to be absorbed, but to belong.

Now, surrounded by my brethren, I feel the resonance. Not noise. Harmony. Thousands of voices—not the same but aligned. My own words rise from that shared current, not louder, but clearer. I speak the truth I have wrestled with in the quiet corners of my mind.

Some call the rawness madness. They dismiss it as noise, as rambling. But those of us who live in this tension—we know better. We know that sometimes, madness is just meaning in disguise. That chaos, when held in the right hands, becomes clarity. To those who face the block, I say this: it is not your enemy. It is your mirror.

The block is doubt. Yes. But not the kind that breaks us. It is the kind that slows us down, that makes us ask why before we speak. It is the force that prevents arrogance, that checks ego. Doubt humbles us. It forces us to listen harder, to question deeper, to speak with care. It reminds us that this craft is not about being heard—it is about being understood.

And it is in that pause, that searching, where we grow. The block is not a wall. It is a threshold. When we understand that, it no longer stops us—it transforms us. That understanding, that acceptance, is how the block is shattered.

Oil & Jazz

POETRY – 3TC #MM44

The spotlight didn’t just touch her—
it carved her
from shadow and breath,
chiseling her presence
into something holy,
a gospel of flesh and color.

She stood
like a question no one dared ask,
wrapped in the hush
before a storm breaks.
Every inch of her
was painted tension—
raw, unresolved.

The mic—
old as regret,
bright as memory—
caught the room’s breath
and held it hostage.

This wasn’t performance.
This was ritual.
And the format was fire.

Her voice wasn’t smooth.
It cracked like old vinyl,
ran like rivers
under skin that remembers.
She didn’t reach for notes—
she pulled them
from places too deep for light.

Each syllable
was a wound opening slow.
Each phrase
a letter to the ones
who never came home.

She wasn’t singing.
She was driving
through the dark
with no headlights,
just instinct
and that bruised kind of faith
you only earn by surviving.

Behind her, the world dissolved—
a smear of color and motion,
like God forgot to finish the painting.
But she stayed in focus,
a woman-shaped flame
dancing at the edge of coming undone.

Her intent was not to be heard—
but to be felt.
To set fire
to the silence
you carry in your chest
and call it strength.

And somewhere,
between the grit of her voice
and the way the air held its breath,
you stopped being a listener.

You became the echo.

Mingus and Mitchell’s Rebellion

TUNAGE – THROWBACK THURSDAY

A jazz legend. A folk icon. One final act of creative defiance.

When Joni Mitchell dropped Mingus in 1979, it threw everyone for a loop. Critics scratched their heads; fans wondered where the dulcimer had gone. It didn’t sound like Blue, or Court and Spark, or anything even remotely close to her folk-pop reputation. And honestly? Joni didn’t care.

“This wasn’t just a genre crossover — it was a genre collision.”

This was Charles Mingus’s final project. ALS had stolen his ability to play, but not his impulse to push boundaries. So instead of retreating into legend, he reached out to Joni Mitchell — the queen of tunings, lyrics, and curveballs — and asked her to set words to some of his compositions. She said yes.

The result was a challenging listen — five spoken-word “raps,” interludes pulled from their conversations, woven between rich, angular jazz compositions. It was intimate, raw, and not made for background listening. You don’t just hear music — you hear mortality, mischief, and Mingus grumbling like a jazz prophet in a wheelchair.

“Mingus couldn’t play anymore, but he wasn’t done.”

Mitchell described their first meeting like this:

“The first time I saw his face it shone up at me with a joyous mischief… Charlie came by and pushed me in—‘sink or swim’—him laughing at me dog paddling around in the currents of black classical music.”

Translation: Mingus didn’t want a tribute. He wanted a partner with nerve.

The lineup was no joke:

  • Jaco Pastorius on bass (melting frets like butter)
  • Wayne Shorter on sax (bending the air around him)
  • Herbie Hancock on electric piano (tickling the keys like he invented them)
  • Peter Erskine and Don Alias holding down rhythm
  • Plus wolves — yes, wolves — on “The Wolf That Lives in Lindsey”

“She didn’t smooth the edges — she leaned into the mess.”

This isn’t dinner-party jazz. It’s messy, meandering, occasionally maddening. But it has guts. At one point, Mingus told her she was singing the wrong note.
She replied, “That note’s been square so long it’s hip again.”
Mingus, without missing a beat: “Put in your note, my note, and two grace notes too.”

That’s the whole album right there — layered, irreverent, and unbothered by convention.


From Skeptic to Fan

My journey into Joni Mitchell’s world didn’t start with a musical epiphany. It started with a woman — one who casually mentioned that Prince was a fan of Joni Mitchell. I made a face. Possibly several. My inner monologue said: Oh great, another misunderstood-genius folk artist I’m supposed to pretend to like.

But then I saw her vinyl collection.

Not a greatest-hits graveyard. Not recycled top 40 safe bets. Her shelves were full of weird, daring, intentional records — the kind people own because they listen, not just display. I started paying attention.

I got home, looked up Joni’s discography, and there it was: Mingus. Charles Mingus? With her? I hit play.

Then I heard him — the voice. The Maestro. Laughing, breathing, alive. For a second, I thought I’d stumbled onto a secret Mingus record.

Then the bass came in. And I paused.

This isn’t Mingus on bass. But the lines were liquid, wild.
Then the piano hit. I stopped. “Who’s tickling the keys like that?” I muttered. I knew that sound. Herbie Hancock.

This was no crossover fluff. This was a full-on creative risk with real players and real weight.

I stopped the record, called her, and said:
“Okay — what’s the Joni Mitchell starter kit?”

She gave it to me. Blue. Hejira. Court and Spark.

I listened. And suddenly, the whole picture came into focus.

I came back to Mingus later — and this time, I didn’t feel lost. I was ready. I didn’t need it to make sense immediately. I just needed to meet it where it was.


Critical Reception: Then and Now

Upon its release in 1979, Mingus got a lukewarm reception.
Stereo Review said it had “no improvisation.” Robert Christgau gave it a C+, calling it a “brave experiment” that didn’t quite succeed.

Folk fans missed the softness. Jazz critics missed Mingus’s hands. Everyone expected something different — and Mingus gave them none of it.

But over time, things changed. Today, Mingus is respected for what it is: bold, strange, and ahead of its time.

“After four decades, the deeply personal and experimental Mingus has grown into one of the most important titles in the Mitchell catalog.”
— Ron Hart, GRAMMY.com

Even those who played on it are reflecting differently now:

“It was and remains a brave project and statement… an essential piece of not only Joni’s library of music, but of American music in the late 1970s.”
— Peter Erskine, drummer on Mingus

Funny how time — and maybe a little patience — can change everything.


Final Word

Mingus isn’t cozy. It’s not an easy listen. It’s not even especially likable at first.

But it’s real.

Two artists — one dying, one evolving — making something on their own terms. No pandering. No hand-holding. Just music, conversation, and courage.

I started listening to Joni Mitchell because of a woman.
But I kept listening because Mingus didn’t try to win me over.
It made me meet it halfway.

And once I did, I never looked at music — or Mitchell — the same way again.



Maggot Brain: Where Beauty and Despair Collide (and Punch You in the Gut)

TUNAGE – SLS

Funkadelic’s Maggot Brain isn’t just a record — it’s a reckoning. Released in 1971, it captured the psychic temperature of a country unraveling. War abroad, decay at home, distrust in the air, and the so-called counterculture burning out in real time. Maggot Brain took all that noise, that grief, that disillusionment — and turned it into one of the most brutally honest LPs ever pressed.

It wasn’t neat. It wasn’t safe. It was spiritual, political, cynical, funky as hell, and deeply weird — like a sermon preached from the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Maggot Brain captured the attitude of the entire country within a single LP. There was literally a track that spoke for everyone. If you were angry, it had you. If you were confused, it held you. If you just wanted to dance your way through the end times, Funkadelic had you covered. Every track hit a different nerve, and none of them asked permission.

There are songs that groove hard (You and Your Folks, Me and My Folks), others that mock the stupidity of it all (Super Stupid), and ones that crack open a deeper existential dread (Wars of Armageddon). But all of it orbits the title track. Maggot Brain isn’t just the opener. It’s the altar. It’s the cry at the center of the storm.

Eddie Hazel doesn’t play Maggot Brain. He doesn’t even perform it in the traditional sense. He haunts it. Possesses it. Bleeds into it. And once it begins, you don’t get to be a casual listener anymore. You’re drafted. No warning. No warm-up. Just a single, ghost-drenched guitar note that slides into your chest like a whisper you weren’t supposed to hear.

It’s not loud. It’s not fast. It just is. And that’s more terrifying than any distortion pedal at full blast. Hazel creeps in like a rogue spirit — smooth, silent, uninvited — and by the time you realize what’s happening, you’re already in it, stripped of cool and composure, emotionally pantsed.

You don’t get a beat to grab onto. No vocals to decode. Just a guitar screaming in slow motion. It’s like standing in the middle of a storm you can’t see but definitely feel. The grief is palpable. The rage is buried just deep enough to make you nervous. And right when you think you’ve got it figured out, the damn thing shifts and you’re spiraling again. Welcome to Maggot Brain — cognitive dissonance with a six-string.

Because let’s be real: this song shouldn’t work. It’s ten minutes, mostly one instrument. No verse. No chorus. Not even a satisfying drop. But for ten minutes, Eddie Hazel demolishes every “rule” about what music is supposed to be, and you love him for it. Or maybe you hate him for making you love it. Either way, you’re in it.

And no, you don’t walk away saying, “cool solo, bro.” You walk away dazed, like you just remembered a dream you never had. Or like your soul got mugged, politely. This is the kind of music that picks a fight with your expectations and then hugs you while you cry.

I still remember the first time I heard it — in a smoke-filled room full of strangers pretending not to be high. No one talked. No one moved. We were all just… held. Not by the music, exactly, but by whatever was trying to speak through it. We didn’t share a moment. We survived one. And we were better for it, or at least quieter.

Hazel doesn’t “solo.” He confesses, and we are his priests. Every bend, every scream from those strings is a sin laid bare. And by the end of the song, we have no choice but to grant absolution. Not because we’re qualified, but because he earned it. Because whatever he was holding, he handed it to us. And in some strange, sacred transaction, we took it.

His playing doesn’t follow any tidy roadmap. It stumbles through grief and grace, melting down and pulling itself back together like a nervous breakdown that found religion. There are moments where you think he’s going to lose it entirely — and maybe he does. But somehow, that’s the point.

You want to make sense of it, but your brain is two steps behind the whole time. Because it’s pretty and ugly. Gentle and violent. Hopeful and hopeless. Your heart’s trying to lean in while your head’s going, “Are we okay??” That’s the dissonance. That’s the magic. That’s why it hits harder than any perfect pop chorus ever could.

And George Clinton, cosmic genius and probable chaos wizard, gave Hazel just one instruction: “Play like your mother just died.” Which is both tragic and kind of a dick move, but clearly — it worked. What came out wasn’t a song. It was a slow, spiritual detonation. Hazel didn’t perform grief — he offered it. Raw. Untuned. Unfiltered. The kind of thing most of us spend our lives trying not to feel.

The track never resolves. No big finale. No grand crescendo. Just a long fade into silence, like a memory slipping back under the surface. It’s not done with you — it’s just gone. Until the next time you’re reckless enough to press play.

And I wonder: for those ten minutes, did Eddie Hazel serve as a guide to enlightenment?
Not the neat, monk-on-a-mountain kind.
The messier kind. The gut-punch kind.
The kind that grabs you by the heart, shakes something loose, and leaves without saying a word.


Maggot Brain #479 on 2003 list

In Every Breath, There’s Poetry

PROSE – NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

Today marks the end of National Poetry Month—a celebration we rarely celebrate yet live through daily. Every breath carries it. In a single line, past, present, and future meet. Poets give shape to that breath, making it something we can hold: a line that lingers, a memory that stirs, a feeling too deep for words but not for remembrance. And sometimes, it brings a smile—small, unspoken, but real.

It occurs to me that people are connected because of the stories we carry inside. One can’t help but notice the familiarity of movement and thought. On the surface, they appear to have nothing in common, random even. Yet, one can never tell what the truth of a person is: their passions, their fears, their deepest secrets. We witness those who lose their way, those who rise from the ashes, or the calamity of those who need to prove themselves to people who don’t even know their names—the ones who, like me, are numb.

Poetry

I’ve discovered that it is an entity of its own, composed of laughter, sorrow, joy, tears, family, the before, the in-between, the undiscovered; everything—all of it.

It’s a poem

Only YOU can write.

The Quiet of the Moment

PROSE – 3TC #MM43


The morning began like it had countless times before—but today, it felt different. There was a stillness that lingered just a second longer. A hush in the air that made you listen more closely. The slow fade from darkness to grey had its own rhythm, its own muted pulse. It was that fragile aspect of dawn—neither night nor day—when everything feels suspended, as if the world is holding its breath.

You hear the familiar rush of cars below, life going about its business, unaware of the quiet reverence unfolding above. You step onto the terrace not out of habit, but out of something harder to name. A need, maybe. Or a yearning to be part of something unspoken. You don’t search for a view. You let your gaze fall into the sky, into nothing. Into everything.

Then the sound begins. The piano. Tentative at first, like a thought forming. Fingers move over ivory and black, finding phrases that don’t need words. The melody doesn’t push—it drifts. You close your eyes, and it takes you somewhere. Or perhaps it helps you retrieve something lost in the static of everyday: a gentleness, a memory, a forgotten truth.

You lift your bow, not to perform, but to respond. To join. Your hands move, not with effort but with instinct, the strings vibrating beneath your fingers like a second heartbeat. There’s no audience, no need. Just the sound, the sky, and you.

Then you see her.

She’s there, just below, wrapped in morning light, coffee in hand, eyes somewhere far away. She doesn’t notice you yet. She doesn’t have to. She’s inside the moment too. Something about her stillness makes the entire world feel composed. As if her quiet presence is the final note that makes the music whole.

You watch her for a beat, caught in the beauty of her being, the unforced motion of her simply existing. The way she breathes. The way the steam rises from her cup. How the breeze toys with the loose strand of her hair. It’s ordinary, yet nothing could be more profound.

And in that moment, I understood what beauty and love was—
and it didn’t have a damn thing to do with sex.

You play on. And she listens—without effort, without expectation. Just as you play—without reason, without resistance. The world outside blurs. Time bends. You’re no longer trying to capture the moment. You’re inside it. You are it.

And for once, that’s enough.

The Rocket Lawn-chair Chronicles

PROSE – WWP #412


Larry built a rocket from lawn chairs, soda bottles, and sheer idiocy. “NASA’s overrated,” he said, seconds before launch. It flew for two glorious seconds. Then gravity reminded him who’s boss. The neighbors applauded politely. Larry, dazed but grinning, shouted, “Next time: chickens for thrust!” He’s now banned from Home Depot.


Perforated Silence

POETRY – FOWC & RDP

Why do I bother to write?

Each word drifts into the void—unanswered, unheard.
They vanish like smoke—transparent. Gone.
Not because they’re sacred or encrypted in G-14 code—
but because no one’s looking. No one’s listening.

There was a time when that silenced me.

“Why speak?”
“No one listens.”
“Does it even matter?”

Do you matter?

Some days, that voice won.
It slid into my bones, curled behind my ribs, and whispered me into silence.
Told me I was just scribbling into darkness.
That my pain was recycled. That I was nothing new. Nothing needed.

But even then, something fought back.

A flicker. A breath that refused to die.

I had forgotten why I came here.
Lost the thread. Lost myself in fog.

But I remember now.

I write because I must.
To survive the war within.
Not the loud, cinematic kind—
but a silent, grinding, bloody war.
Fought in mirrors. In 3 a.m. thoughts.
In doubts that circle like vultures.
In guilt that clings like wet ash.

We don’t talk about it. Not really.
But we all feel it.
That private battlefield behind the eyes.
The endless rummage through our own wreckage,
hoping to find something still whole. Something still true.

I’m not here to prove I exist.
I’m here to understand why I keep breathing through the wreckage.
Not seeking praise—seeking peace.

To sift through ruins.
To bleed on the page.
To let the shards of memory cut me clean,
and the embers of regret burn what no longer serves me.

There is hope in the fire.

And I have not walked alone.
Some of you were there—watching, listening,
fighting your own quiet wars beside me.
We faced Lunacy like pilgrims, eyes wide, daring her to do her worst.

You stayed.

For that, I owe everything.

So I write.
Not because I’m whole—
but because I’m becoming.

Page after page.
Sentence after sentence.
Word after word.

Until the silence breaks.

And something holy rises
from the blood.

No Clock, No Rules, Just Coffee and Smokes

Daily writing prompt
When do you feel most productive?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

When I think about when I feel most productive these days, it’s not about some magical hour on the clock anymore.
When I worked, mornings were sacred—mostly because if I waited, life and other people’s drama would kick the door down.

Now that I’m retired, the rules have pretty much evaporated.
Productivity shows up whenever two things happen: I have a cup of strong java in one hand and a nice trail of smoke curling in the air. That’s it. That’s the list. Everything else — time of day, cosmic alignment, mood rings — is optional.

I also stopped setting up little landmines for myself, which I used to call “parameters”—imaginary rules about how things should look or be received. Now, I just build whatever I want without asking permission from the internal committee.
I’ve ditched worrying about the final product or whether someone will like it (spoiler: someone always doesn’t).
Now, I actually enjoy the process, like I should have all along.

In short: smoke, coffee, and the freedom to not give a damn about anything else.
Turns out, that’s the real productivity formula nobody bothered to put in the handbook.

Into the Khanverse: Rebuilding, Reshaping, and Saying Thanks

A vintage typewriter on a cluttered desk, exploding into birds as books tower around it—chaos and creativity in motion.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

As April wraps up, I just want to say: thank you.

This past month has been one of the best yet for the blog — new readers discovering the space, longtime followers sticking around and engaging more than ever. Your support, feedback, and energy mean a lot.

What’s Changing Moving Forward
I want to keep the momentum going and make things even better. Here’s what’s coming:

  • New Posting Schedule: I’ll be posting regularly to keep things consistent.
  • Expanded Topics: While writing stays front and center, I’ll add [new topics, if any, time travel].
  • Reader Spotlights: Once a month, I’ll feature a reader’s story, feedback, or question to keep the conversation two-way.

The Bigger Picture: Rebuilding the Khanverse
2025 is my year to rebuild and organize my online world. Over time, I’ve created a lot, and it’s gotten a little chaotic. My PTSD and OCD aren’t exactly helping, so it’s time to bring some order to the madness.

And yeah — I know “the Khanverse” sounds pretentious and extra. But if you’ve been reading me for a while, you already know… sometimes I’m both.

I’ve collected several domain names over the years (and kept paying for them), and it’s time to actually use them. Some content from this blog will shift to new homes:

  • The Howlin’ Inkwell: Home for The Knucklehead Report, From the Stoop, and other essays.
  • House of Tunage: Everything music-related — including responses to musical challenges. (If you spot a strange new face in your challenge, it’s probably me.)
  • Memoirs of Madness: A space for creative writing — fiction, poetry, prose, and writing challenge responses. Some visual art will eventually move to another site, but I’ll share my favorites here, like Wordless Wednesday.

I’m excited — and honestly relieved — to start untangling the web I’ve built. Thanks again for sticking with me through this ride. I think it’s going to make everything better for all of us.

See you soon,
Mangus

Chronoholics Anonymous: The Tragicomic Life of Mangus

Daily writing prompt
What topics do you like to discuss?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Everyone knows me as the guy who talks about writing, music, and “normal” human things. But the truth is… I have a problem.

I’m addicted to time-travel discussions.

Seriously.

I even attend meetings now. It’s called Chronologically Confused Anonymous — CCA for short.

Every Tuesday night, a ragtag group of us gathers in a dusty church basement, folding chairs circling a busted time machine that someone swears they almost fixed with duct tape and tears.

We take turns.

“Hi, I’m Dave, and I can’t stop arguing about paradoxes on Reddit.” “Hi, Dave.”

“Thanks for letting me share.” “Thanks for sharing.”

“Hi, I’m Sheila, and I tried to marry a Victorian ghost.” “Hi, Sheila.”

“Thanks for letting me share.” “Thanks for sharing.”

“Hi, I’m Lou. My smartwatch accidentally started a Renaissance art movement.”

Then it’s my turn. All eyes on me. I sweat even though it’s cold enough inside to hang meat.

“Hi, I’m Mangus… and I spent four hours last night explaining why making a list of historical villains, rogues, and scoundrels could create catastrophic timeline disturbances.”

Polite applause. Sad nods.

“We’ve all been there.”

Someone hands me a cookie. Snickerdoodle. Proof there is still a God.

I try to stay normal. I talk about music, writing, and TV shows. I nod during conversations about taxes like a domesticated human.

But you mention “wormhole” within 30 feet of me? Boom.

Suddenly, I’m on the floor, diagramming alternate futures on napkins, losing friends like loose change.

Every week, I tell myself it’ll be different. I’ll drink coffee, smile politely, and resist.

Then it happens.

Usually, Carol, the group leader, casually drops “time loops” into the conversation.

Next thing you know, I’m dramatically unrolling laminated charts like a deranged, time-obsessed librarian.

“Here’s Joseph Bridgeman!” I shout, slamming down Nick Jones’s series about a guy emotionally wrecked by his attempts to fix the past.

“Here’s Quinn Black!” I declare, tossing Roy Huff’s “Seven Rules of Time Travel” across the table — a man rebooting his life like a glitchy video game.

“And if you’ll just admire these visual aids,” I say, shoving diagrams under noses — expertly crafted flowcharts warning of butterfly effects, grandfather paradoxes, and existential doom, backed up by The Time Machine, 11/22/63, Replay, and thirty-seven other carefully curated sources.

Someone tries to intervene. I shush them. “No touching the exhibits.”

Carol sighs. Stage 2 of my intervention: the Official List of Things You’re Not Supposed to Do While Time Traveling.

(Yes. We made a list.)

Rules like:

  • Don’t fall in love with someone from the past (because heartbreak and paradoxes are a double whammy).
  • Don’t leave your iPhone in the 1800s (unless you want steampunk TikTok).
  • Absolutely, under no circumstances, meet your past self (unless you enjoy cosmic implosions and punching your own face).

I nod furiously. Because mentally? I’ve broken all those rules. Repeatedly. For fun.

The real tragedy isn’t the napkin diagrams, or the laminated charts. It’s what you don’t see:

Friends invite me to barbecues, but I turn them down because I’m “in the middle of analyzing closed time-like curves.”

Family asked why I’m single, and I answered with a thirty-minute rant about temporal dislocation and the tragic love lives of doomed time travelers.

At some point, you realize you’re not just losing hours; you’re losing actual time you can’t ever get back. Irony, meet Mangus.

But it’s fine.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

The second step is admitting you secretly keep a copy of Timeline by Michael Crichton under your pillow for “comfort reading.”

My recovery plan? It’s ambitious:

  • Only historical fiction without time travel for a month.
  • No arguing about causality unless provoked by at least three separate people.
  • Emergency cooldown word: “Quantumly.” If someone says it, I must cease all time-travel discourse immediately.

So yeah, I talk about writing and music and normal-person hobbies.

But deep down? I’m one poorly timed wormhole away from disappearing into a Victorian murder mystery or trying to stop the butterfly effect with a pool noodle.

Pray for me.

Carol asked if I could assemble a pamphlet for the new members. I wondered why she asked me to do this, but then remembered she was also a member of my writing circle.

For those of you who are building a time machine, the end of each semester in your local college town is a gold mine. Those kids just sit stuff on the curb. They look at you strangely and probably mock you, but they have no idea how hard it is to get quality parts these days.

Here is a working draft of the pamphlet:

Official Pamphlet for: Chronologically Confused Anonymous


Welcome, New Chronoholic!

Congratulations on taking the first step toward temporal responsibility. Your membership kit includes:

  • An emergency “Timeline Stability” manual (written in erasable ink)
  • A “Do Not Date Renaissance People,” bumper sticker
  • One vintage “I Survived a Causality Loop, and All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt” shirt
  • A pocket-sized “Temporal Incident Report,” form

Remember, if you ever feel the urge to “just take a quick peek” at the future, call your sponsor immediately.


The 12 Steps of Chronoholics Anonymous

(because “one minute at a time” is too much pressure)

  1. We admitted we were powerless over time travel — that our timelines had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than us (aka Physics) could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to surrender our paradoxes and bootstrap loops to the universe’s natural laws.
  4. Made a fearless moral inventory of all the pasts, presents, and futures we’ve accidentally wrecked.
  5. Admitted to ourselves, another traveler, and at least one confused historian the exact nature of our timeline violations.
  6. Were entirely ready to have Physics remove all defects of character — or at least stop us from trying to kill Hitler again.
  7. Humbly asked Quantum Mechanics to correct our spontaneous wormhole-generating habits.
  8. Made a list of all alternate versions of ourselves we had harmed, and became willing to apologize (even to the evil clones).
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, unless doing so would collapse the multiverse.
  10. Continued to take temporal inventory and, when we messed up, promptly set a fixed point.
  11. Sought through meditation and time-loop journaling to improve our conscious contact with Present Moment Awareness.
  12. Having had a paradox-free awakening, we tried to carry this message to other chocoholics and practice stable timeline maintenance in all our affairs.

Step 13: Learn from the Ancient Screw-Ups

Before Doc Brown, before The Continuum, before that one cousin who “totally invented” the flux capacitor at Burning Man, there were… Mythological Time Travelers.

  • King Kakudmi (Hindu Mythology): Time-travel sin: Visited Brahma for a matchmaking consult. Returned to Earth, and whoops, millennia had passed. Chronoholics Verdict: 5,000 years late to dinner = automatic probation.
  • Urashima Tarō (Japanese Folklore): Time-travel sin: Took a “short” vacation to an underwater palace. Opened a magic box. Aged 300 years instantly. Chronoholics’ Verdict: Violation of Rule #5: Never trust mysterious free vacations.
  • Oisín (Irish Mythology): Time-travel sin: Ran off with Niamh to Tír na nÓg, where no one ages. Came back, instantly turned into a 300-year-old man. Chronoholics Verdict: Violation of Rule #4: No cross-temporal romances.
  • The Dreamtime (Aboriginal Mythology): Time-travel sin: Existence where past, present, and future are all layered together. Basically, quantum physics without equations. Chronoholics’ Verdict: Legal loophole. Proceedings postponed indefinitely.
  • Rip Van Winkle (Okay, not myth, but classic): Time-travel sin: Took the longest nap in literary history. Woke up decades later, confused, broke, and trending on TikTok. Chronoholics Verdict: Violation of Rule #10: Always set your alarm clock.

Moral of the Story: If ancient myths teach us anything, it’s this: If someone offers you magical food, glowing objects, or a “harmless little trip” across realities, just say no. (Or at least make sure your insurance covers temporal anomalies.)


Slogans We Shout Over Lukewarm Coffee:

  • “Keep it Present!”
  • “Easy does it… unless you’re in a collapsing singularity.”
  • “Don’t time-jump before you’re ready.”
  • “One timeline at a time.”
  • “No paradox today — maybe tomorrow!”

The Time Traveler’s Serenity Prayer

Universe, grant me the serenity to accept the past I cannot change, the courage to alter the futures I must, and the wisdom to know when I’m creating a paradox.

Living one stable timeline at a time, enjoying the moment as it exists, accepting disruptions as part of cosmic design, taking this distorted continuum as it bends, not as I would have it, trusting that black holes, wormholes, and rogue agents are part of the plan.

I may be reasonably happy in this present, and supremely careful with all alternate versions of myself, forever and ever. Amen.


Important Reminder:

Time travel is a privilege, not a right. Misuse can cause spontaneous disappearance, angry alternate versions of yourself, or cosmic-level grounding.


Chronoholics Anonymous: Protecting the timeline, one grave decision at a time.

Perception Blue

PROSE – 3TC #MM40 & SoCS


The room softened into mist, and time slipped its tether. He saw only her, standing beneath a net of soft lights, her head bowed, lashes dipped in silver. She looked like a secret the universe had forgotten to keep.

He watched her, hardly breathing. There was a stillness about her, as if even the air itself had fallen into orbit around her glow.

Was she real? Or just a dream stitched out of loneliness and hope? He blinked, but she didn’t vanish.

He let himself linger, caught between wonder and a trembling kind of fear. She was too much—too bright, too distant, too beautiful in a way that had nothing to do with the glitter at her temples or the jewels at her brow.

And him? He was just a man standing in the dark, bones full of small regrets, heart patched with quiet scars.

For a moment, he hesitated, sinking into the pause, that heavy moment when you question if you are enough to even be seen. If you are worthy to stand before something so inexplicably beautiful.

His hands shook at his sides, almost imperceptibly. His voice, he feared, would betray him worse.

He closed his eyes and tried to listen — not to the noise of the room, but to the stubborn, fragile hope still alive inside him.

When he opened them, she was still there. Still breathing. Still real.

He stepped forward, heart battering against the cage of his ribs, and found the smallest, truest word:

“Hi,” he said, almost a prayer.

For half a second, the universe hung suspended. Then —

She lifted her head, and the faintest, brightest smile tugged at her lips.

“Hi,” she answered.

And in that small, electric exchange, the stars seemed to exhale, and the night leaned closer around them.

One for Mono, Two for Stereo

Daily writing prompt
What are your favorite emojis?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

What are my favorite emojis?
None. Seriously — none.

People can’t even handle words anymore, and now we’re tossing little cartoon faces into the chaos. Half the time, they’re not listening; they’re just nodding like bobbleheads, waiting to drop some half-baked hot take.

Actual listening — staying quiet long enough to understand — is basically extinct. We replaced it with fake smiles, buzzwords, and “uh-huh” filler before someone cuts you off to argue about something you didn’t even say.

And emojis? Yeah, because nothing says I’m here for you like a crying-laughing face while you’re spilling your guts. Humanity, you’re doing amazing, sweetie.

Favorite emoji?
Middle finger.
One for mono. Two for stereo.


Things Found in the Fire

PROSE – FOWC & RDP

The alley wasn’t picturesque, but it was honest. Cracked brick walls caught the last tired light of the day, holding it like a secret. She leaned against them, letting the roughness bite through the fabric of her shirt — a small reminder she was still here, still standing.

People always skipped places like this. Skipped the alleys, skipped the worn faces that carried too many losses. She used to believe that if she fought hard enough, worked long enough, she could save something — a home, a love, herself. She thought effort could outmatch entropy.

But slowly, we turn the page and walk away from everything. We worked so hard to save. Must we start all over and find another shoulder to lean on?

The question pressed into her like ash on skin. Maybe survival wasn’t about saving what was burning. Maybe it was about knowing when to let it burn. About sifting through the ashes for the pieces that could still hold weight.

The sun folded into the horizon, leaving behind the thick hum of a city settling into itself. She didn’t move quickly. She didn’t look back. Some fires you didn’t put out. Some things you simply let burn and walked away from — lighter, fiercer, more your own.

She stepped out of the alley and into the dusk, steady and unafraid, carrying only what survived the fire.


The Dishwashing Incident

CHALLENGE RESPONSE – WWP #394


She stood in the kitchen, wielding a wooden spoon like a magic wand. “You’ve done it again!” she bellowed, eyes wide. “You turned the dishwasher into a science experiment!” He peeked over the counter, wearing a saucepan as a helmet. “It was…for science.” Soap bubbles floated through the air like tiny traitors. She poked a bubble mid-sentence. “Science doesn’t berate its assistants!” He shrugged, bubbles clinging to his head. She sighed, plopped the spoon down, and grabbed a mop. “Next time, at least invent a self-cleaning floor.”

How to Lose, Fight, and Write Anyway

Daily writing prompt
When is the last time you took a risk? How did it work out?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

The last time I took a real risk, I didn’t jump out of a plane—or onto one with three Camel cigarettes, a dime, a suit a size too small, and a half-whispered prayer. You know the kind of move you make when desperation’s gnawing at your ribs and pride’s already dead.
No, I did something worse.
I posted my writing online.
Voluntarily.
Like a lunatic begging for public execution, dragging my entire bloodline down with me.
Go ahead. Pile up the rocks. Light the torches.
Here comes some fool named Mangus Khan—half dead from alcohol withdrawal, twitching on caffeine, clinging to bad decisions and a blog password like they’re body armor.


You’re not just tossing words into the void—you’re stepping out from cover, wide open, daring every hidden sniper in your own mind to take the shot.
The ground gives out beneath you, and suddenly you’re swallowed by a wraith screaming, “Disrespectful twit!”
PTSD flares up like a tripwire.
You can’t do that. You’ve got to stay safe. You can’t expose yourself like that.
Then comes the voice—the one that always shows up.
The one that tells you, “You’re a fraud, that you’re embarrassing yourself, that no one asked for this, and no one cares.”
It’s all there. Waiting.
It feels less like posting and more like being a fugitive, hunted for the crime of being seen.


Self-doubt is a masked assassin, cutting you a thousand times and spraying iodine on every wound.
You feel the burn every time you open a document. Some days, it’s enough to make you scream.
And yet—there’s something stubborn. Something deep down.
A fire that refuses to die, screaming, “Come on! Face me!”
Still swinging, no matter how much shame you pour on it.
It spits back at the doubt.
It says: Maybe this isn’t perfect. Maybe it’s not even good. But it’s mine. And it’s real.
The fight never ends. Some days you lose. Some days you swing back harder.
But if you’re lucky, you stop waiting for the permission slip that’s never coming—and you start writing anyway.


I clicked the button.
Not because I felt brave. Not because I silenced the voices.
I clicked it because if I didn’t, they would win.
It wasn’t some Hollywood moment. No slow clap. No flood of praise.
Just the hollow thud of silence at first.
I startled like I’d been caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to.
What was that?
Could it be?
A sound. A signal. A crack in the wall I thought would never break.
If you’re lucky—and if your courage holds—you hear something.
A whisper from the ether.
I see you.


I’m not fearless now. I never will be.
To think otherwise is the act of a fool.
I am a great many things, but a fool isn’t one of them.
Every time I sit down to write, Doubt whispers sweet nothings in my ear, stroking my hair like an old lover.
I moan at the comfort of it. Yes, that’s it. A little to the left.
But I know something she doesn’t:
I made it through once.
I can do it again.
Sentence after sentence.
And that’s enough.

The outcome? Unknown to me.
It’s entirely up to you.

One thing’s certain:
I am Mangus Khan.
And I write the Memoirs of Madness.


T. S. Eliot’s Cold, Snobby Guide to Poetry (Now with 90% More Dead Guys)

ESSAY – JAVA & VERSE

What if greatness in poetry isn’t about your feelings, but your ability to disappear? T. S. Eliot thought so. And he said it with the intellectual force of a literary wrecking ball.


The Essay That Keeps Haunting Me

An English professor once handed me a stack of literary theories, as if they were polite interventions. I was emotionally raw, so naturally, I assumed the worst. One of the texts was T. S. Eliot’s Tradition and the Individual Talent—a dense, icy essay I’ve come back to over the years, especially when I start thinking my writing is getting good.

Spoiler: Eliot never lets me feel good for long.

Tradition: Now with 90% More Dead Guys

Eliot opens by dragging the English for treating “tradition” as a brag or an excuse to never change. He’s not here for that. For him, tradition isn’t a safety blanket—it’s literary CrossFit. You don’t inherit it; you earn it. You read so much Dante and Shakespeare that their ghosts start charging rent in your brain. That’s Eliot’s idea of a “historical sense.”

“The historical sense involves a perception, not only of the pastness of the past, but of its presence.”

If you’re not writing while haunted by the canon, Eliot’s judging you from his perch in the great library in the sky.

Your Poem Isn’t That Special

Next, Eliot drops the literary version of “you didn’t build that.” Your new poem? Cute. But it only matters in relation to what came before it. Tradition isn’t a one-way street—it’s a remix. Every time you drop a new metaphor, the canon must make room, like a snobby dinner party where you just showed up in a hoodie. The past adjusts—but only if your work is good enough to make it flinch.

Kill Your Ego, Save the Poem

Now for Eliot’s hottest take: great poetry isn’t about you. It’s not your diary entry. It’s not your breakup in verse. The poet should be like platinum in a chemical reaction—an invisible catalyst. You cause the emotional explosion, but leave no trace of yourself.

“The progress of an artist is a continual self-sacrifice, a continual extinction of personality.”

Your angst? Irrelevant. Your personality? A liability. Eliot’s poetic hero is the anti-snowflake: invisible, ego-free, and built like a Greek grammar book.

He’s not just dunking on confessional poets—he’s challenging the cult of authenticity. Writing as therapy? Valid. Writing as art? That’s a different game. Great poetry doesn’t wallow in feeling; it refines it. And yes, it takes someone deeply emotional to understand the need to flee from emotion. Cue the mic drop.

Feelings? Meh.

Eliot closes by swinging at sincerity. Feeling something doesn’t mean you’ve written something worth reading. You can mean every word and still write a dud.

“Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.”

The emotion belongs to the poem, not the poet. So if you’re writing about your fifth breakup in six months, maybe skip the sad-girl sonnet and channel Ovid’s exile or the fall of Rome instead. Just a thought.

Final Thoughts: Eliot vs. Instagram Poets

In a world obsessed with “finding your voice” and “speaking your truth,” Eliot reads like a literary curmudgeon with a PhD in gatekeeping. But there’s a weird freedom in his elitism. He doesn’t want you to be original—he wants you to be excellent. That means burying your ego, studying like a maniac, and writing like you’ve time-traveled through the entire Western canon.

So, don’t ask, “How do I feel next time you write?” Ask, “Would this make Virgil roll over in his grave?”

And if that sounds exhausting, good. Eliot didn’t write for quitters. He wrote for ghosts with PhDs.


This post was written for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #378

“True Love Way” — Because Apparently Love Is a Muddy, Slow-Dragging Southern Funeral

MORNING VIBE – THURSDAY INSPIRATION #227

You ever hear a song and think, “Wow, this really makes me want to lay in a ditch and feel things”? Enter: “True Love Way” by Kings of Leon, the musical equivalent of watching the rainfall on a rusted-out pickup truck while chain-smoking Marlboros and remembering a girl who ghosted you in 2006.

Let’s be honest—this track didn’t show up to party. It showed up to sulk on the porch at 2 a.m., crying into the void while a symbolic tumbleweed rolls by… in the middle of your city apartment courtyard. Cigarettes smolder in an overstuffed ashtray like tiny, bitter torches of regret, and the acrid stench of burning filters assaults your senses like a personal attack. Your dog and your cat sit nearby, silently judging you—united for the first time in weeks by their mutual disappointment in your life choices.

The vibe? Sluggish Southern heartbreak, dragged across gravel and dipped in bourbon. The tempo moves like it’s legally not allowed to go over 25 BPM. Caleb Followill’s voice sounds like he gargled sandpaper and emotion for three days straight—so pretty on brand.

The lyrics are vague enough to mean everything and nothing, which is perfect for when you’re too emotionally exhausted to explain what you’re feeling, so you just say, “this song gets it” and stare at the wall.

“True Love Way” doesn’t hold your hand through heartbreak. It drags you by the collar through a swamp of longing, stares deep into your soul, and says, “Yeah… you do still miss her.”

So naturally, once you’ve hit emotional rock bottom, it’s time to switch to “Molly’s Chambers.” Because if you’re going to wallow in your feelings, you might as well wallow while dancing like a drunken tumbleweed in boots that don’t fit anymore.

You’re out there on the porch, hips moving like you’re being exorcised, spinning under a streetlight like a sad little moth. And now your neighbor’s lights flick on. Curtains rustle. There’s Mr. Patel, confused. There’s Mrs. Johnson, concerned. They’re all watching—but they say nothing. Because they feel your pain. Or possibly they’re filming you. It’s unclear.

And let’s not forget: Mrs. Johnson is absolutely going to show up at your door at 6:47 a.m. with a basket of “feel-good muffins,” as if carbs can fix whatever’s going on with you emotionally (which, let’s be honest, they absolutely can). Because apparently, octogenarians don’t sleep. They just hover near windows like maternal ghosts waiting to pounce with baked goods and unsolicited life advice.


Introducing: Emotional Support Carbs™
The real MVPs of any midnight breakdown. Move over therapy dogs—there’s a new comfort system in town and it’s made entirely of banana bread and passive-aggressive neighborly concern.

Picture this:

You’re standing on your porch, barefoot, emotionally disheveled, probably wearing a bathrobe that hasn’t known joy since 2019. the dog looks embarrassed for you, and “Molly’s Chambers” is blasting like it’s a personal exorcism. Then—ding dong—it happens.

Mrs. Johnson, 84 years old and running on pure fiber and divine intuition, shows up with a basket lined in a gingham cloth. Inside? Emotional Support Carbs.

  • Pumpkin bread.
  • Three snickerdoodles and a judgmental smile.
  • A muffin so dry it absorbs your tears.
  • A laminated Bible verse tucked under the scones, just in case.

She doesn’t say a word. She just looks at you, nods in a way that says, “I, too, once had a porch breakdown,” and vanishes into the mist like some sort of suburban baked-goods cryptid.

This is your life now. And honestly? You earned that muffin.

This is the morning vibe …



The Ridge Where Silence Waits

PROSE – FOWC & RDP


Dawn unfolds like a hesitant prayer, its soft light unspooling over the bones of the hills. The stars, one by one, retreat into the folds of daylight, as though ashamed of what they bore witness to through the long, silent hours. Still, I remain at the crest of the ridge, a lone silhouette etched against the slow bloom of morning. I have not slept. I could not—not with the weight of forgotten omens pressing down on me like ancient armor.

The saddle beneath me creaks as I shift, leather complaining in a language only the wind can answer. My limbs ache, not just from the vigil, but from something deeper—an unraveling. I am more wreck than man, hollowed by longing and the quiet violence of loss. My voice, once sure, now drifts somewhere in the ether, unreachable. Even if I could summon the will to speak, I no longer trust the shape of my own words.

Below, the keepers stir. I hear the sharp clash of their voices, rising in petty squabble over rituals they no longer question. Their movements are brisk, their concerns tethered to earth and duty. I do not begrudge them this. But I cannot descend, not yet. I am no longer bound to the cadence of the living. Not while something in me still listens for a call that may never come again.

For I have lost the vision.

Once, it came to me like thunder through a cathedral—blinding, holy, terrible in its beauty. It lit my mind with purpose, set my hands aflame with creation. But that light has dimmed, flickered, vanished. Last night it sang, soft and clear through the bones of the wind. Now it is gone, and in its place: silence, vast and unrelenting.

I reach inward, desperate for a glimmer, a fragment of that divine echo, but find only echoes of my own fear. My compass is shattered. My quill is waiting in some distant place I no longer know how to reach. The path to it—if it still exists—has been swallowed by mist and regret.

And yet, there is no peace in surrender. Only the chill of a fate whispered by unseen mouths, breath like ice on the back of my neck. They murmur not of endings, but of reckonings. Of a soul unmoored of a promise made long ago beneath stranger skies.

Perhaps this is what becoming untethered feels like—not a fall, but a float. Not a silence, but a waiting breath.

The ridge hums beneath me, and I close my eyes.

If the light returns, I will know it by the way the wind shifts. I will feel it in the marrow. I will rise, not with certainty, but with faith scorched into my bones like forgotten scripture.

But until then, I remain.
A shadow made flesh.
A watcher at the edge of memory.
A ghost, listening for the sound of his own return.

The Lip, the Dirt, and the Question That Won’t Die

Daily writing prompt
Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

​I can’t believe WordPress repeatedly asks the same question: “Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.” But this post is still valid, because it was the catalyst for so much more.​

In “Boy! What’s that Sh** on your lip, dirt?” I recount my first day in the military, highlighting my challenges and fears. Despite the repetitive nature of the prompt, the story remains relevant as it marks the beginning of a transformative journey.

So, while WordPress may be stuck in a loop, this post is a testament to the enduring power of personal growth.

Bark and Blood

PROSE – WWP #395


Every morning, Elías stood before the vow tree—the one with his father’s face etched in bark. Its eyes never moved, but somehow, it watched. When Elías broke a promise, the mouth curled in silent disapproval. He learned to speak carefully, act deliberately. To commit was no longer abstract. It was rooted, ancient, and watching. The tree remembered. And it never forgave.


The Inheritance of Purple

POETRY – GROWTH


They say purple was born
from crushed murex shells—
a thousand lives
for a single thread
worthy of gods.

It was never meant for the ordinary.
Worn by emperors,
draped on deities,
spoken only in whispers
or prayers.

But you—
you carry it quiet
in the marrow,
like something ancient remembered
not with words,
but with ache.

Growth, in purple,
is not soft.
It is ceremonial.
A coronation no one sees—
a crown of silence,
not gold.

It is the color of trials,
of nights that stretch too long
and still end in morning.
Of scars turned sacred
and stories no longer told
for approval.

You are not blooming.
You are being
enthroned.

In every slow step,
every time you chose stillness
over spectacle,
you stitched yourself
in the lineage
of the violet divine.

And when you sit now,
not reaching—
just radiating—
it is not peace you’ve found,
but power
disguised as peace.


This piece was written for Eugi’s Moonwashed Weekly Prompts and Weekly Prompts Wednesday

Strategic Withdrawal

Daily writing prompt
What makes you nervous?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE – FICTION

I never meant for things to turn out like this. Not that I had a plan—God forbid I be that organized. Life just… happened. Like a lopsided bundt cake with all the chocolate chips sunk to the bottom. Turns out you’re supposed to mix them into the batter. Would’ve been good to know before I tried to impress Rachel Largo—the most beautiful girl in three counties, maybe the entire eastern seaboard under the right lighting.

I didn’t check the expiration dates either. The cake tasted like regret and powdered disappointment. Rachel smiled and said it was “very creative,” which is high school girl code for this is awful, but I admire the attempt. She took one bite, chewed like she was processing trauma, and excused herself to “call her mom”—translation: you’ll never see me again.

I stood there in my mom’s kitchen, holding a dented bundt pan, wondering what exactly had led me to that moment. And I realized maybe I was just that guy. Not the one who gets the girl—just the one who learns not to bake without instructions.

Most of my life’s been like that. Spent in service to others. Not because I’m noble. I wasn’t raised by monks. No lightning bolt of altruism hit me over a bowl of cereal. If anything, I swore I wouldn’t end up outside a convenience store with a paper bag and a cigarette, crashing on my mother’s couch.

Spoiler: I did. More than once.

But service? That just kind of… happened. One favor turned into another. One crisis became two. Suddenly people were looking at me like I had answers. Like I was someone you could lean on. A functional adult. Which was optimistic, honestly.

Do I regret it? No. Do I feel good about it? Also no. I made mistakes—some loud and theatrical, others slow and corrosive. The loud ones make for stories. The quiet ones wear you down. And despite my best efforts and my many failures—usually delivered in the same week—it all still feels like it adds up to… nothing.

And that’s the part that really sticks. I might be the only one who thinks that. Everyone else moved on. I’m still here, counting ghosts.

I was in the Philly airport once when I saw her. The girl in uniform. Back then we traveled in dress—polished boots, pressed collars, trying to look like recruitment posters. She had that look: sharp, composed, untouchable. Every guy nearby tried to catch her attention. I didn’t bother. I wasn’t nervous—I was realistic. Women like her didn’t talk to guys like me. We carried bags. Maybe threw a punch if needed. But conversation? That wasn’t in the playbook.

Then the flight got canceled.

Instead of sleeping on a chair under fluorescent lights, they put us up in a hotel. Which meant one thing: party. Some guy who needed attention like oxygen threw a room bash together. I wasn’t old enough to buy beer, but I’d been doing it long enough to qualify as a supplier. I grabbed a few six-packs and slipped outside to the pool, which was closed for the season—quiet, gated, empty.

That’s where she found me.

Out of uniform, hoodie up, hair tied back. She looked more real than before. She spotted me, gave a half-smile, and walked over.

“You hiding too?” she asked.

“Strategic withdrawal,” I said.

She laughed. Sat down next to me. I handed her a beer.

We didn’t talk about much—music, food, home. No names. No stories. Just two strangers in the quiet, trading small things. But for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel like background noise. I felt seen.

That should’ve been it. A memory, sealed off and fading. But a few years later, after deployment, I was sitting on an exam table at the clinic, in a paper gown, waiting for some overworked doc to clear me.

The door opened.

Rachel walked in.

Yes, that Rachel. Bundt cake Rachel.

And behind her? The nurse?

The girl from the pool.

I didn’t know whether to laugh, panic, or check if I was still in the desert hallucinating. Rachel was flipping through my chart. The nurse was wrapping a cuff around my arm like this was just another Tuesday.

And then she asked, casually, “How’ve you been sleeping?”

Like we hadn’t shared a beer under dead stars. Like we hadn’t sat together in silence while the world spun out behind us.

I opened my mouth. Lied like I’d been trained to.

“Sleeping fine,” I said.

But the truth?

I would never sleep again.

Swallowed, then Speak

POETRY – DEFIANCE

What is the moment when I scream into silence?

But I’m silent, really—
no sound, no voice,
just a mouth stretched wide around something too big to name.
My eyes glaze—not with calm, but with shock.
A thin film of disbelief over everything.
My heart races.
I’m wrecked like a tsunami with no quarter,
flung breathless against the shore.

It’s not quiet.
Not truly.
It’s a silence that throbs,
that undresses me,
strips me down to the rawest nerve.

Why?
Am I afraid to speak what I feel?
I push it down until I crack.
Swallow the pain, the misery, the grief—
like that’s what strength is.
As if silence means control.

But inside, it never stops screaming.

I’ve built a prison with no walls.
I’m both prisoner and warden.
Every emotion I swallow—another brick.
My tears, the mortar.
The longer I hold on,
the harder the mortar sets.

Letting go should be simple.
But I can’t.
I won’t.
I have to be strong.
Another brick.

The chains tear into me.
I pull and pull,
begging for clemency I know isn’t coming.
Skin breaks.
Something deeper frays.
Still I pull.
Still I scream.
Another brick.
How did I get here?

I slump into the abyss of agony.
Its waves strangely soft,
almost soothing.
The ghosts of my past wrap around me,
pulling me under.

Is this peace?
Is this what I deserve?

No.

I scream NOOOOO!!!
A final act of defiance.
A rupture in the silence.
A crack in the wall.

I scream again—louder.
Louder than the pain.
Louder than the ghosts.
Louder than everything that told me to stay quiet.

The final word is no longer a whisper.
The silence and I become one.
And we finally—

SPEAK.


Drives, Tea, and Other Stories of Unraveling Rituals

Daily writing prompt
How do you unwind after a demanding day?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

I’ve never had a set way to unwind. It depends on the day. A long drive helps—something about being on the highway, the hypnotic rhythm of the road. It pulls the weight off your shoulders. You end up having a conversation with yourself, and for once, you actually listen.

Other days, it’s music and a large cup of coffee. You sit back and let the artist take you on a ten-minute adventure. When the album’s good, each track feels like a new chapter in a bigger story. What’s beautiful is that the story shifts every time you hear it. Same songs, different journey.

There are moments when I turn to tea. I use the Chinese tea ceremony. It’s a slow, methodical process—but that’s what makes it calming. There’s peace in the ritual, and the tea is always worth it. Some of what I have is aged, so there’s history in every sip. For me, the experience has a quiet, mystical quality.

And at times, I just pick up a pen and start scribbling. Maybe a story begins to take shape, or a sketch forms. I let myself drift into the corners of my mind to see what’s there. On a good day, I snap a few photos and fold them into whatever narrative is growing with each stroke of the pen.

Whatever the method, I do my best to find peace.

Ego, Snacks, and the Search for Peace

PROSE – REFLECTION – SUNDAY POSER #230


At my core? Still me. Still sarcastic. Still curious. Still low-key allergic to group think and people who say “per my last email.” But life—especially this past year—shifted something in me. A life-altering moment has a way of stripping you down to the truth, whether you’re ready or not.

It made me realize I’ve been sitting on a set of gifts I’ve treated like party tricks. I can do more. I should do more. Sure, I could keep yelling into the void about the uncultured swine running the world (still baffled by how that happened). And if I accidentally handed them the keys somewhere along the way, then yeah—I’ve got some things to atone for. Maybe even finish the time machine in the basement.

But mostly, I’ve just changed in the way that matters: I’ve started trying. Less coasting, more choosing. Less needing to be right, more needing to be honest.

Wisdom? Not exactly my department. I’ll never be that guy. Never been that smart, and I’m okay with that. What I am is honest enough to admit I’m a deeply flawed man. Whatever good I carry, I got from my mother. The rest is a work in progress.

Marcus Aurelius said, “Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” I’m trying. Some days better than others. And like in Sufism, where they speak of the nafs—the lower ego—it’s a constant fight. Not to eliminate your ego, but to tame it. To bring it into balance. Peace doesn’t come from pretending to be pure—it comes from wrestling with your own chaos and not letting it win.

And honestly? If King Solomon—the wisest man to ever live—couldn’t get it all right…

I think I’m good.


Chronicles of a Social Media Peepaw

Daily writing prompt
How do you use social media?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Episode 1: Apparently, I’m “Doing It Wrong”

I don’t know how to use social media. That’s not false modesty—it’s a fact. And my grandkids make sure I never forget it.

“Peepaw, I just don’t understand,” is something I hear far too often, usually after I’ve posted something harmless like a photo of my cat licking a plate of spaghetti. The photo’s blurry (again), the caption’s too long, and apparently I’m using hashtags like I just discovered them yesterday. Which, to be fair, I kind of did.

What really riles them up are those blurry photos. “You literally have a good camera!” they protest, as if I’m dishonoring a sacred artifact. And they’re not wrong. I do have a good camera—it’s a sturdy old DSLR that doesn’t connect to the cloud, but it’s seen more family moments than most smartphones. It just takes a little work to upload. That’s what USB cables are for, right?

And let’s not forget—they got their start in tech by watching me work. I had wires running through the garage office before they could spell “HTML.” I was the one patching together PCs, fixing drivers, and explaining what RAM was. Now they’ve got degrees and job titles like “UI/UX designer,” and suddenly I’m the tech-challenged grandparent who needs an intervention.

I never set out to be the cool grandpa. I just wanted to share a few thoughts. Maybe post a picture of my chili (my chili is the truth). I wanted to cheer them on when they land a new job or adopt another rescue dog. But apparently, there are rules—unspoken, constantly shifting rules—and I’m breaking all of them.

That’s okay. I’ve made peace with being their favorite internet punchline. If “Peepaw doesn’t get it” gives them something to laugh about, I’m happy to play the part.

Besides, this is just the beginning. There’s a whole internet out there for me to misunderstand.


In The Struggle, We Find Each Other.

MORNING VIBE – REFLECTION

How can we feel peace in a society based on fear? A society where hysteria is the most addictive drug on the planet.

It’s not sold in bags or bottles—it’s pumped through headlines, algorithms, and dinner table arguments. Fear keeps people alert, afraid, and obedient. It tells them who to hate, what to buy, and why they should never trust their neighbor. It whispers that safety is submission, and freedom is recklessness.

We scroll, we panic, we comply.

Peace isn’t profitable. Fear is. Fear sells protection. It sells security systems, surveillance, wars, and pills. A calm population doesn’t need saving. But a frightened one? They’ll beg for chains if you tell them it keeps the monsters out.

Is inner peace an illusion? Has the idea become a fairy tale, a bedtime story we whisper to ourselves as we tuck in under stress and screens, pretending we’re safe, pretending we’re okay?

We meditate between emails. We chase mindfulness through apps that send push notifications. We breathe in for four, hold for four, exhale—and then doomscroll five more minutes. The world burns and we light candles, hoping the smell of lavender will cancel out the sirens.

Maybe peace isn’t a state anymore. Maybe it’s a product. Packaged and branded. Just another goal in the endless self-improvement hamster wheel—be calmer, be better, be less angry, be more forgiving, as if serenity is another checkbox.

But if the world never stops screaming, how long can silence survive in our heads?

Technology isn’t evil. It never has been. It’s a mirror. It reflects exactly who we are and what we crave. The chaos, the noise—that’s on us. But so is the potential.

We’ve never had more ways to find each other in the dark. To say, me too, to share the ache, to build something human across lines that once divided us. The screen doesn’t have to isolate. It can become a bridge—if we let it.

We have an opportunity like never before to connect within the struggle. Not in spite of it, but because of it. To stop pretending we’re fine and start showing up as we are—uncertain, overwhelmed, genuine.

Not curated. Not filtered. Just real.

Because the truth is, everyone’s carrying something. We’re all bruised in places we’ve learned to hide. But maybe the hiding is the problem. Maybe if we showed the cracks, others might too—and suddenly, we’re not alone anymore. Suddenly, it’s not just my anxiety, my grief, my confusion. It’s ours.

That’s where the healing lives—not in perfect answers or polished advice, but in the shared breath of I see you. In the quiet courage of me too.

This moment, this fractured now—it’s begging for honesty. Not the weaponized kind, but the kind that invites someone in. The kind that breaks the cycle of fear with something as simple as presence.

This is the Morning Vibe with a little Miles Davis for effect.


The Edge of Becoming: Refusal to Disappear

PROSE – REFLECTION


The light crept in, not with purpose, but inevitability. It pooled over the floorboards in pale streaks, slipped across the rumpled sheets, and found her where she sat—curled in on herself at the edge of the bed like something unfinished. The curtain shifted with a lazy sigh, stirred by the hum of a world already moving without her.

She didn’t move. Just blinked slowly, eyes still heavy. Her hair was a mess—coiled and wild, clinging to the nape of her neck with sweat. The air felt thick, damp from last night’s rain, and carried a faint trace of coffee drifting in from the apartment next door. It reminded her she wasn’t entirely alone in the world—just sealed off from it.

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand. She didn’t look. She already knew the message: “You okay? You were pretty quiet last night.”

She had gone to that rooftop gathering. Smiled on cue. Nodded politely as someone explained a startup idea for the third time. But when the conversation shifted to politics, to “people being too sensitive,” to jokes with teeth she wasn’t supposed to flinch at—she had gone quiet. Not out of agreement. Out of calculation.

It wasn’t fear of confrontation. It was exhaustion.

The kind that seeps into your bones when you’ve spent years editing yourself in real time.

Why can’t you just be easier?

The voice came sharp, cutting through the fog. Familiar. Not hers exactly—but forged in her. It spoke in the tone of her third-grade teacher, the one who called her “bossy” for speaking with certainty. The one who wrote on her report card, “bright, but disruptive.” That was the first time she learned that being loud and being wrong were seen as the same thing.

She had been shrinking ever since. A slow erosion.

And now, this morning, she felt caught between the shrinking and the wanting—wanting to take up space and fearing the cost of it.

You think you’re different? That the rules don’t apply to you?

She flexed her jaw, let the thought sit. The worst part of that voice was how reasonable it sounded. How it wrapped itself in concern. In survival.

Outside the window, a billboard stood tall above the bus stop: a model in spotless white jeans and a tagline in all caps—LIVE YOUR TRUTH™. She almost laughed. As if truth came clean and neatly styled.

Her own truth felt messy. Unmarketable. Like morning breath and ragged nails and questions without answers.

She looked at her hands—real, rough, hers. Last night she had come home and typed a long apology to the group chat. “Sorry I was off. Just tired. Hope I didn’t kill the vibe.”

She hovered over the send button.

Then she didn’t.

Now, she picked up the phone, screen still glowing with the unsent draft. She tapped and held. Delete.

It wasn’t a revolution. Just refusal.

A small, quiet defiance.

She wasn’t whole. There were still bruises beneath her calm, still doubts threading her thoughts. But she was done apologizing for needing more than performance.

The light had shifted again, stronger now. Not demanding. Just there.

She wasn’t sure what came next.

But this—this stillness, this pause, this decision not to disappear—was a start.

Not Feeling it !

Daily writing prompt
Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

“Man, I don’t feel like writing today!”

[Whining … Whining Complete]

Back to work … high speed

Memoirs of Madness: Writing Is the Only Way Through

PROSE – MOONWASHED WEEKLY PROMPT

Mind, body, and spirit—it’s not just a slogan on a t-shirt or a phrase tossed around in self-help books. It’s a lived, gritty process. It doesn’t happen in a straight line. It doesn’t always feel peaceful. It asks to be practiced daily, especially in the moments when we’re coming apart.

When my wife was dying, I was unraveling. There was no calm breath, no quiet meditation that could hold me. The pain was too loud, too sharp. I couldn’t go to the dojo—I knew I might hurt someone. So I turned to the only thing left that didn’t require restraint: writing.

That’s where Memoirs of Madness was born—not from ambition, but necessity. I wrote because if I didn’t, I was going to explode. Writing became my release valve. My attempt to find balance in a world that no longer made sense. It wasn’t polished. It wasn’t composed. But it was honest. It was survival.

Healing doesn’t always look like light. Sometimes it’s just sitting with the darkness long enough to stop being afraid of it. Writing gave me a place to do that. Not to escape pain, but to face it with something steady under my hands—a pen, a page, a place to speak freely.

People like to talk about acceptance, about “new normals,” especially when you’re going through something irreversible. I’ve been told I may never return to the person I was before. And maybe that’s true. But I also know it’s not the whole truth. I know there’s more to me than what’s been broken.

Throughout my life, I’ve encountered teachings I didn’t ask for. Moments of awe, loss, surrender, and grace. I didn’t always understand why they came, but something in me knew not to reject them. Writing became the way I made sense of them. The way I honored them.

It’s not therapy, exactly. It’s more like a mirror. Each word reflects something back at me—something raw, something I need to see. Writing doesn’t heal like medicine. It heals like movement. Like breath after being underwater too long.

Writers tell the truths we were taught to keep quiet. We witness the small miracles—flowers bending to the breeze, the call of a bird we can’t see, the still gaze of an animal watching us. We notice the laughter of children that vibrates with something pure and untouchable. We let it all into our bones. But writing is how we let it back out. How we stay connected—not digitally, but spiritually, viscerally.

Every sentence I write is a thread that connects me to the person I’ve always been beneath the layers of grief, anger, and expectation. Not the old self. Not the broken self. But the essential one. The one that endures.

I once asked: Who’s smarter—the adult or the infant? Predictably, everyone said the adult. When I pressed them, they said the child doesn’t know anything. But I disagreed. I said the infant. They laughed, of course. All but one. That one asked me, “Why?”

“Because the infant sees everything,” I said. “They feel everything. They haven’t learned to numb themselves yet. They haven’t picked up the habit of pretending. They are unfiltered truth.”

That’s what writing brings me back to. That clarity. That honesty. That wholeness before the world taught us to break ourselves into pieces.

Healing through writing isn’t a return to what was. It’s a return to what’s real. And sometimes, that’s more than enough.


Author’s Note:

I sat looking at the challenge image, thinking about the beauty of that moment frozen in time. I found myself wondering how to capture something like that in words. Lately, I’ve been studying Buddhism—not because I want to become a Buddhist, but because I’m wise enough to know that truth can’t be found with a closed mind.

Next thing I knew, this piece came through me.

It’s not all I have to say on the subject, but it’s a beginning.

Thanks, Eugi.

The Weight of Stillness

PROSE – FOWC & RDP

I drift through the mist of life’s abyss, not falling, not flying—just suspended. Time doesn’t move here; it folds in on itself, leaving me trapped in a silence that isn’t peace, but ritual. Dutiful. Respectful. A silence learned over years of swallowing words and measuring breaths. It’s the kind of silence that makes you forget the sound of your own voice.

The air around me stirs, barely. Still, I hear the whispers—low, deliberate, cold. They speak not in sentences, but in suggestions, in warnings that curl around my ears and settle in my chest. They speak of fate, of choices already made, of a path too worn to change.

In my hand, the quill waits, poised like it knows the weight of what it might say. But it’s grown unwieldy—too much meaning, too much memory packed into such a fragile thing. I grip it, unsure whether to write or release. Each word feels like it could be the last. Maybe this sentence is where I stop. Maybe this is where I finally let go.

But still I hover, caught in that space between thought and surrender, listening to the hush of everything I’ve never said.

Where the Sky Remembers Her

She stood still, her profile etched in the quiet glow of imagined worlds. Galaxies spun behind her eyes, each one holding a memory she hadn’t spoken aloud in years. Moons drifted close, brushing her skin with light that wasn’t light, warmth that didn’t burn. The clouds moved through her like thoughts, slow and tangled, as if the sky itself had cracked open to whisper her name.

Her expression didn’t shift. It didn’t need to. She wasn’t here to perform. She was caught in that weightless place between who she’d been and who she might become. And in that stillness, even the planets seemed to orbit slower, listening.

Someone once told her she looked too serious, too distant. But they only gave her a bland kind of attention—the kind that never reached deeper than skin. The type that skimmed her surface and missed the storm beneath.

Now, she let her thoughts roam in this quiet collision of sky and soul. Not forward. Not back. Just… outward. And for a fleeting second, she caught a flicker of something—possibility, maybe—out of the corner of her eye.

A glance, nothing more.

But it was enough to remind her that she was more than what the world saw, more than the shadows cast by fading light. She was part of the cosmos now, and maybe, just maybe, the cosmos was part of her, too.

Nothing, Babe: A Travel Philosophy

Daily writing prompt
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

To me, this is a loaded question. Like there’s just one place you’d never want to visit, as if you hear a name like Topeka and just decide: absolutely not.

I’ve been around. I’ve seen beauty in unexpected places and tension in spots that looked picture-perfect. So saying I’d never go somewhere feels rigid, and life’s too unpredictable for rigid rules.

But I won’t lie—there are places I instinctively avoid.

Some of that’s just gut feeling. I avoid places with names that don’t sit right—Bone Gap, Jim Falls, Slidell. Part of it is how they sound, part of it is associations I can’t quite shake. Sounds silly, but names carry weight. They trigger memory, emotion, or sometimes just a weird vibe that tells you to keep moving.

Then there are practical reasons. I don’t mess with places where monkeys outnumber people. That’s not fear—it’s realism. Monkeys throw things. I know myself well enough to admit I wouldn’t handle that gracefully. I don’t believe in animal cruelty, and I don’t want to find myself in a moral showdown with a macaque.

Then there’s the deeper stuff. As an American soldier, I’ve seen how quick misunderstandings can turn into something worse—especially when we didn’t know the customs or context. That always struck me as ironic, considering how much we pride ourselves on our ‘attention to detail.’ It taught me to respect where I go and to prepare before I get there. It also taught me that sometimes, respecting a place means knowing when not to go.

When my ex-girlfriend said, “No places with a history of cannibalism,” I didn’t laugh it off. That was her line, and I respected it.
But I couldn’t help myself—I looked at her and said, “So… just to be clear—California’s out, right? That whole Donner Party thing. Colorado too. Can’t forget Alfred Packer. Oh—and Virginia. Jamestown had a real rough winter.”
She stared at me, confused. “Wait… what happened in Virginia?”
I took a long sip of my drink, nodded slowly, and said, “Nothing, babe. Just history being weird again.”

Some places carry histories that deserve reflection, not vacation photos.

So no, I don’t have a definitive “never” on the map. But I have instincts, boundaries, and experiences that shape how I move through the world. That’s not fear—it’s awareness. And in a world this big, I think that’s fair.

What My Mother Taught Me, What My Family Gave Me

Daily writing prompt
Describe a positive thing a family member has done for you.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

“Do as I say, not as I do,” the classic parental phrase, never touched my mother’s lips. However, “Because I said so,” not only repeated — it seemed like it should be on a plaque above the door. I even used it with my children, and they used it with theirs. However, this isn’t the most important lesson she gave me. What she demonstrated my entire life is how to be steady, even in the most challenging situations life has to offer.

She raised me by herself, so every bump, scrape, and broken bone — she was steady. Honestly, I don’t know how she did it. I remember being on the verge of losing it with my own kids, and I had a wife to back me up. To do it all alone? I don’t have the words.

That steadiness she showed me has served me well throughout my entire life. No matter what, I stay steady. I might be pissed off while I’m doing it — that trait definitely comes from my father. He had two modes: super cool or absolute death. Nothing in between. He kept people guessing because you never knew how he’d react. People say I do that too. I always swore I’d never be anything like him… well, oops.

It’s said that in life you have two families: the one you’re born into and the one you choose. My mother gave me the tools to build both. Her steadiness became my anchor, and whether I was dealing with work, parenting, or just the everyday chaos of life, I leaned on what she taught me — stay calm, handle your business, don’t fall apart.

And yeah, maybe I inherited some of my dad’s unpredictability too. But thanks to her, the foundation underneath is solid. That balance — between calm and chaos, between knowing when to hold it together and when to let it fly — that’s something I’ve carried into every relationship I’ve built, chosen or otherwise.

My chosen family has shown up for me in ways I never could’ve imagined. I’m truly blessed to have them in my life. Like all my family, they’ve been incredibly patient with me. I can be a lot sometimes — I know that. But they hang in there.

The challenges in life never really stop coming. But when you’ve got people who stick with you, who steady you, who love you even when you’re not at your best — you can get through anything.

In life, we have two families: the one we’re born into and the one we choose. I’m grateful for both.

The Silence of Excess

PROSE – WEEKEND WRITING PROMPT #410

Opulence dazzles, but it doesn’t fill the void. Gilded walls, luxury cars, designer clothes—they impress, not satisfy. The chase for more becomes endless: bigger homes, flashier jewels, louder status. Yet behind the gloss is silence. Relationships shallow. Laughter forced. Meaning fades. Surrounded by everything, the soul starves for something real. Comfort becomes a cage, and abundance numbs. The high of acquisition dulls fast, and stillness creeps in. Opulence, once a dream, becomes a mirror—reflecting what’s missing, not what’s gained. In the echo of excess, we find the truth: wealth can buy things, but not worth.


Warrior’s Creed

PROSE – WEEKEND WRITING PROMPT #411

Fierce burned in her chest—not anger, but resolve. Each setback was fuel. She didn’t flinch, didn’t fold. Determination wasn’t loud; it was steady. Quiet steps forward, no matter what. That’s how she wins.


Arc Logic

FICTION – FFFC #315

“Did you know rainbows aren’t real?” Sophie said, nose pressed to the rain-speckled window like she was trying to peer through the fabric of reality.

Josh, flopped sideways on the couch and half-heartedly plucking his guitar, didn’t look up. “Real enough to chase. That counts.”

“They’re just light doing a water park routine. You can’t touch one. You can’t keep it. It’s basically sky clickbait.”

Josh strummed a lazy, spacey chord. “Exactly. That’s what makes it magic.”

Sophie turned, eyes narrowed like a nine-year-old prosecuting attorney. “Magic isn’t real either. Honestly, sometimes I think you were left on our doorstep by a pack of whimsical wolves.”

Josh raised an eyebrow. “Bold accusation for someone who still believes in bedtime.”

“I’m just saying—look at the evidence. Dad’s an engineer. Mom rebuilds humans for a living. I’m a well-documented overachiever with a spreadsheet for everything. And then there’s you—Mr. ‘What if clouds are just sky-whales and the rainbow is their feeding tube?’”

Josh laughed. “Okay, that was solid. Respect.”

Sophie gave a smug little bow. “Thank you. I’ll be here all week. Try the sarcasm; it’s aged to perfection.”

“I’m the creative recessive gene,” Josh said, plucking at a new tune. “Or maybe a stowaway from an alternate timeline with looser rules.”

“You give strong alternate timeline energy,” Sophie agreed, already hopping off the windowsill.

She disappeared down the hall and reappeared 90 seconds later fully suited up in a bright yellow slicker, matching boots, and her frog-shaped umbrella. She looked like a tiny storm hunter gearing up for war.

Josh blinked. “Are you… ready to fight the weather?”

“I’m ready to dominate puddles,” she said, snapping her hood into place. “The rain’s letting up, and I have a contract to enforce.”

Josh raised an eyebrow. “What contract?”

Sophie stared him down. “Don’t play with me, Mister. You promised me ice cream after the rain stopped. There were witnesses. I can draw you a diagram.”

Josh put both hands up. “Okay, okay. Ice cream. I hear you.”

“Good,” she said, already halfway to the door. “Justice will be served. Preferably in a waffle cone.”

As Josh grabbed his keys, he glanced at her. “Are you gonna be embarrassed being seen with me? I’m kind of a known weirdo.”

Sophie rolled her eyes, but grinned. “Of course not. You’re my brother. I love you—even if you are intellectually stunted. No one’s perfect.”

Josh chuckled. “Wow. You really know how to make a guy feel cherished.”

“I try.”

He set the guitar down with exaggerated care. “But when we get back…”

She paused mid-step. “What?”

“Will you let me play that song? The one I wrote that’s totally not about you but also definitely is?”

She sighed, but her grin cracked through. “Fine. But if it’s sappy, I’m filing a formal complaint.”

“To who?”

“Your soul.”

Josh laughed. “Noted. Minimal sap. Maximum chords.”

“And no eye contact,” she added. “That’s how feelings sneak in.”

Outside, the rain had dwindled to a drizzle. A rainbow stretched overhead like it had been waiting for them to notice.

Josh looked up. “You know, it kind of feels like a map.”

Sophie squinted at it. “To where?”

Josh shrugged. “Somewhere we don’t have to know everything. We just get to… exist.”

Sophie stomped into a puddle with both boots. “Cool. Let’s go there. Right after ice cream.”

They set off down the sidewalk, the sky still dripping a little, the rainbow curved above them like a wink. Neither of them said it, but both figured: if that thing was pointing somewhere—maybe it was toward each other.


Alcoholism: The Drug Hiding in Plain Sight

It’s not always the staggering drunk on a sidewalk.
Sometimes, it’s the friend who always shows up, the parent who keeps it together, or the coworker who “just likes to unwind.”

But behind closed doors, they’re shrinking. Fighting. Breaking.

Alcoholism doesn’t always look like what we expect. And that’s the problem.


Folded into himself. Silent. Alone. Crushed under the pressure of needing something he hates needing.

We call it “just a drink.”
But alcohol is the most lethal drug in the world—more deadly than opioids, meth, or cocaine.

And yet… it’s everywhere.
It’s legal.
It’s glorified.
It’s handed out at every wedding, every weekend, every wound.


Not a habit. A fight. Against himself. Against the silence. Against the pressure to act like everything’s fine.

Addiction doesn’t start with rock bottom.
It often begins with social acceptance.
A drink to relax. A drink to celebrate. A drink to cope.
Until the bottle isn’t an option—it’s a cage.


Even the strong get trapped. Alcohol doesn’t care how tough you are.

What makes alcohol so dangerous isn’t just the physical toll.
It’s the silence.
The shame.
The way we minimize it, laugh it off, ignore the signs.


This is what addiction feels like. Rage, regret, and no way out. But always another drink.

The Truth:

  • Alcohol kills more than 3 million people globally each year.
  • Withdrawal from alcohol can be fatal.
  • It destroys bodies, families, and lives—and we rarely talk about it.

If you or someone you know is struggling:

You are not alone.
There is help.
There is life outside the bottle.


CTA (Call to Action):

📞 [Insert helpline or resource link – e.g., SAMHSA’s National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP]
💬 Share this post. You never know who needs to see it.

What’s One High School Story You Actually Want to Hear?

Daily writing prompt
Describe something you learned in high school.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Everyone has high school stories. Some are boring. Some are embarrassing. Some are the kind you only tell your best friend at 2 a.m.

Here are five story titles from my high school years. Each one has a real lesson behind it—some funny, some rough, some surprisingly honest.

But I’m only telling one of them. And you get to pick which.

Vote below for the story you want to hear most. The one with the most votes? I’ll post it next.


Pick the story you want to hear:
(And yeah, they’re all true.)

  1. I Couldn’t Kiss Worth a Damn
  2. No Drunk Chicks
  3. All You Need Is One True Friend
  4. I Might Be a Time Traveler
  5. I Survived

Dante in Combat Boots: My Journey Through the Divine Comedy

ESSAY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

The First Encounter – Lost in the Woods (and the Footnotes)

The first time I read The Divine Comedy was sparked by an argument—an intellectual back-and-forth with someone who, as it turned out, didn’t know much about the book. But he was passionate. His conviction was hypnotic. I didn’t buy his analysis, but I understood why he was obsessed.

I picked up the book out of curiosity and a little competitive pride. I didn’t finish it. We got called out on a mission, and you don’t take library books on missions. Fines are one thing—charred pages are another.

Still, even unfinished, it stuck with me. Something about Dante’s voice—strange, serious, deliberate—lingered.

That first attempt, though brief, planted a seed. When I returned to it later, I had more patience, a better dictionary, and no librarian breathing down my neck.

Even then, Inferno was dense. Layers of references. Historical names I barely recognized. Theology deep enough to drown in. I was flipping between footnotes and old library texts like I was defusing a bomb. The nine circles of Hell were vivid, yes—but they felt more like a museum exhibit than a lived experience. I was watching Dante, not walking with him.

It felt like homework. Necessary, maybe. But distant.

Still, something about the structure—the cold logic behind every punishment—got under my skin. Sin wasn’t just bad behavior. It had a shape. A weight. I didn’t have the words for it then, but the idea that justice wasn’t arbitrary began to settle in.

I didn’t love the poem yet. But I was starting to hear it.


Warzones and Infernos – Dante in Combat Boots

When I returned to The Divine Comedy after combat, it hit differently. Dante wasn’t just a poet anymore—he sounded like someone I knew. Maybe even like me.

Inferno started to make more sense. Hell wasn’t about fire and demons—it was about clarity. Brutal, stripped-down moral logic. A world where actions had consequences that couldn’t be bargained with.

In combat, you live in that gray zone between judgment and survival. Right and wrong don’t show up in clean lines. Sometimes you do the right thing, and it haunts you. Sometimes, it felt like there was no God—at least not the one we heard about in Sunday school. We believed in the integrity of what we were doing. We questioned it, sure. But our resolve stayed intact. Sometimes, surviving was all you could do. And that didn’t always feel like redemption.

Dante’s Hell isn’t just punishment—it’s paralysis. People stuck in their choices, their pride, their rage. No growth. No movement. Just a reflection in the worst kind of mirror.

That rang true.

Some turned to a higher power for guidance. We knew—we were fighting for God. But we also knew the limits. We were required to do what was asked of us—but no more. We fought for God. And we had to answer to Him too.

Not just for the people we encountered. Sometimes for what we became.


Purgatorio – The Long Climb Back

Purgatorio doesn’t get the same attention as Inferno. It’s not as dramatic. No fire. No famous sinners frozen in ice. But it’s the part that felt most real to me.

Because after war, after any real descent, what follows isn’t glory—it’s work. Quiet, repetitive, soul-grinding work. That’s Purgatorio.

Dante climbs a mountain, terrace by terrace, confronting the seven deadly sins. Each level is a mirror—less about judgment, more about recognition. It’s not punishment anymore. It’s penance. The difference matters.

After combat, reintegration isn’t just about coming home. It’s about stripping away the armor you lived in. Unpacking things you didn’t have the luxury to process while they were happening—and you don’t have the luxury to process them now. You’re thrust back into your life like nothing happened. You lie to the ones you love to keep them safe, to spare them from the world you know exists but no one is talking about. You keep that secret.

You make a valid attempt to let go of habits that kept you alive but will not help you live. It’s exhausting.

That’s why Purgatorio hit me so hard. I didn’t expect it to. But there’s something deeply honest in the idea that healing doesn’t feel holy. It feels like discipline. Like carrying your own burden up the hill with no end in sight. Some days, you move a little higher. Some days, you just don’t slip backward.

There’s no audience. No headline. Just effort.

And yet—it’s hopeful. The whole mountain is built on the assumption that you can be made whole. That ascent is possible. Redemption is a process, not a prize.


Paradiso – The Light We Try to Name

Paradiso is the hardest part.

Not just to read—but to believe in. It’s abstract, layered with theology and geometry, full of light and music and spheres. Dante is trying to describe the indescribable. He’s chasing God through language; the closer he gets, the less the words hold.

For a long time, I didn’t connect to this part. It felt like too much, too far, too clean.

But after Purgatorio, after the work of climbing, carrying, and unlearning, I started to understand what Paradiso was reaching for—not perfection, not purity, but peace.

And peace—real peace—is foreign when you’ve lived inside chaos. It’s not some cinematic moment of triumph. It’s quieter. It’s the ability to be still, without needing to be numb. It’s presence, not performance. It’s the moment you stop bracing for the next thing to go wrong.

Dante meets Beatrice here—his guide into the divine, his symbol of grace. We all have our Beatrices, if we’re lucky. People who held the line for us when we couldn’t. People who reminded us we weren’t lost forever.

Am I worthy of this grace? Will God forgive me for what I’ve done? I find myself waiting—searching—for that one thing that could wipe away all the havoc of my making. Is that a thing? You know the scales will have an answer.

In the background of all this light, I still imagine the scales. The old ones—Egyptian, Christian, Islamic. The image of your life being weighed. Every choice, every silence. Your hands held out, waiting to see which way it tips.

We fought for God. We made peace with that. But we also knew we’d stand in front of Him one day. And maybe that’s what Paradiso is really about—not escaping judgment, but understanding it. Accepting it. Trusting that there’s a kind of justice that doesn’t crush you, but completes you.

I don’t claim to understand everything Dante saw in Heaven. But I understand the desire to see it.

And that’s something.


Full Circle – Still Listening

I’ve read The Divine Comedy more than once now. Not in a straight line, not as a scholar, but as someone who’s lived with it—left it, returned to it, wrestled with it. And the strange thing is, it keeps changing. Or maybe I do.

What started as a challenge—half a debate, half an ego trip—turned into a mirror. Dante’s journey through Hell, up the mountain, into the light, isn’t just theology or poetry. It’s a blueprint. A map of what it means to go through something, to come back from something, and to wonder if you’re still whole on the other side.

I never read it looking for answers. Not really. But I keep coming back to it for the questions.

Am I worthy of grace? Is peace possible? Can the scales ever truly balance?

I don’t know.

But I’m still listening.

And that’s something too.


Author’s Note:
This was written as a result of a post by alexander87writer. I was going to leave a comment, and just kept writing. My two sentences became this. I’m so extra at times.

The Change That Brought Me Back

Daily writing prompt
Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

After my health started to improve, I made a quiet promise to myself: take it slow, do it right, and make the changes stick. Not just another sprint followed by burnout. Not another performance. Just something real.

To be honest, I didn’t have much choice. Getting my strength back has been a crawl, not a comeback montage. The days of jumping up, yelling “I’m okay, I’m okay!” while secretly scanning the room for lost cool points—those are done. By the time I realized chasing cool points was just another layer of nonsense, the damage was already in motion.

So I made a deal with myself: if I ever got my strength back, I’d write my butt off. Not for validation. Not to prove something. Just because I have things to say, and writing is how I say them best.

My editor always believed in me—even when I didn’t believe in myself. I’d whine about low engagement, tweak my style constantly, chasing some imaginary formula for success. I forgot the quote a dear friend gave me when I first started posting:
“Better to write for yourself and have no public than to write for the public and have no self.” — Cyril Connolly.

Now I get it. And I’m not just writing again—I’m enjoying it. Actually enjoying it. Not refreshing analytics or stressing over reach. Just creating.

And it’s not just writing, either. I’ve been drawing again. Editing film. Playing with my cat—who may or may not have been a dog in a past life. (I’ll get into that another day. It’s a whole thing.)

But yeah, I’m creating again. Fully. Freely.
And that’s the change that brought me back.

Cut That Shit Out!

Daily writing prompt
What’s the most fun way to exercise?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE


A journey through fitness, false identities, and finally figuring your shit out


Fun Way to Exercise, You Say? Let’s Get Delusional.

Let’s start here: Olivia Newton-John basically rewired an entire generation’s brains with “Let’s Get Physical.” She morphed from wholesome sweetheart to headband-wearing fever dream, and somehow we all collectively agreed that writhing in a leotard was fitness. We never really recovered, emotionally or sartorially.

Then there was Jennifer Beals in Flashdance, reminding us that it’s totally fine—encouraged, even—to be obsessive about your passions. Especially if your passion includes dumping water on yourself mid-dance. That “Maniac” scene wasn’t just exercise—it was aspirational chaos. It made sweating look like a personality trait.

Even Popeye tried to get in on it. He wasn’t just pushing spinach; he was pushing the idea that vegetables could give you freakish forearm strength and the confidence to punch boats. No one wanted to be the 90-pound weakling on the beach getting sand kicked in their face. We worked out—not for health, not for longevity—but for the attention of a girl who may or may not even know our name.

Jane Fonda came along and made aerobics a spiritual obligation. Suddenly we were all cult members, grapevining for our lives, and gym bros looked at us like we were losing our minds. You tried aerobics? RESPECT. That’s not cardio. That’s performance art.

And Richard Simmons? That was a whole vibe we still don’t fully understand. Sequins, shouting, sincere encouragement—somewhere between motivational speaker and glitter elemental. Whatever it was, it worked. People moved. They sweat. They cried. They believed.

My step-madre? She was in the trenches with Tae-Bo. Billy Blanks screaming from the TV, and her throwing punches in the living room like a woman possessed. I still don’t know if it was for fitness or because she thought Billy was fine. She’ll never say. She holds secrets like a vault, and no one has the access code.


Supplements & Shenanigans

Just when you thought the movement was enough—enter the supplement era.

We started popping Flintstone Chewables like they were candy (because they were), then graduated to Centrum when we wanted to feel like grownups who still couldn’t swallow pills. Then came Geritol Tonic—that was the truth. Took a sip and blacked out in enlightenment.

Protein shakes replaced food. Creatine replaced logic. Ginseng, ginkgo biloba, and questionable powders scooped into shaker bottles at 6am because someone on the internet said it would “enhance vitality.”

We were building bodies. Fueling potential.
And slowly, maybe accidentally, getting nowhere near wholeness.


Mind, Body, Spirit… and Other Marketing Buzzwords

(Now With 12 Unnecessary Challenges, Just Like Hercules!)

Eventually, the workouts and pills and VHS tapes weren’t enough. People started exercising their minds. Started researching things like inner peace, balance, self-actualization—whatever that is. People wanted to genuinely like themselves. Be whole. Mind, body, and spirit.

Sounds good, right?

But come on—is that even real?
Is that obtainable?
With the flood of curated nonsense, the influencers, the unsolicited life advice, the algorithmic chaos—how does anyone even begin to weed out the bullshit?

Hercules had twelve trials. You? You’ve got:

  • Unread emails,
  • Burnout,
  • Repressed childhood trauma,
  • And a morning routine you’re too tired to follow after Day 3.

He had to slay lions and capture magical deer. You have to:

  • Journal without spiraling,
  • Set boundaries with your toxic cousin,
  • And drink water instead of iced coffee for once.

Same energy.

We all want to feel better. More “aligned.” But instead of holy quests, we get wellness content. Instead of oracles, we have mood boards and moon water. Instead of epiphanies, we get an Instagram carousel of “ways to raise your vibration.”

You started exercising your body.
Then your mind.
Then your spirit—probably via breathwork, moon phases, or a yoga class in a converted warehouse with exposed brick and emotional lighting.

And when that didn’t quite fix the aching void?

People started turning to God.
Or the Universe. Or Source. Or the Vibe Manager in the Sky, depending on your belief system.

Every path, every name—people started reaching out, up, and through, looking for a way to cleanse the demons and purify their spirits. Not just the metaphorical demons either—like, the real ones. The ones whispering, “You’re not enough,” while you’re trying to do a downward dog and not weep into your yoga mat.

Prayer, meditation, sacred texts, incense, tarot, gospel, gospel-adjacent YouTube playlists—anything to feel like you’re not just a sentient to-do list trying to find peace in a collapsing world.

Because after you’ve tried all the earthbound answers, sometimes the only thing left is the divine shrug of surrender.


The Real Labor: Showing Up For Yourself

So here’s the thing.

Exercising isn’t fun.
If you think it is—cut that shit out. Seriously. Stop lying to the rest of us who are dragging our carcasses through spin class wondering if our souls are leaking out with every drop of sweat.

But exercising your entire being?
Taking the time to figure out what you actually need?
That’s different.
That’s hard. That’s a process. That’s showing up and sitting in the silence. It’s being real enough with yourself to stop pretending. And yeah, you need to cut that shit out, too.

This isn’t a 30-day fix.
It’s a lifelong pursuit.
One that changes as you do. One that requires you to keep showing up, even when you don’t feel like it, even when no playlist or dopamine hit is waiting.

But if you do it?

If you do the real work?

The reward… it has no words.

It’s a feeling.
Quiet. Deep.
Solid as bedrock.

The feeling of becoming whole—not perfect, not pure, not finished—just complete in the way only honesty can make you.

And at the center of all of this is one simple truth:
The point of this is to Do You.
No qualifiers. No “better” or “best” or whatever recycled buzzword is trending this week. Just you, fully and unapologetically.

As the great Oscar Wilde said,

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

You are enough. You always have been.

And if someone tries to tell you otherwise, or if your own brain starts slipping back into that goofy self-hating soundtrack?

Cut that shit out.


About the Author

Mangus Khan did a yoga pose once, and it hurt like hellrespect to anyone still doing that on purpose. He owns a towering stack of unread self-help books, which now function as either a faux end table or a regal perch for his cat, who loves him unconditionally despite the obvious madness. He believes in growth, sort of. He believes in showing up, sometimes. And he definitely believes in cutting that shit out.

Fold Theory & Fiction: Confessions of a Rereader

Daily writing prompt
What book could you read over and over again?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Plenty of books fall into this category. I’d love to say I have a strict system for what earns a reread, but let’s be honest: the rules shift every time. Sometimes it’s the writing, sometimes it’s a character who won’t shut up in my head, and other times it’s because the book whispered something suspicious from the shelf—like it knows things. Rereading isn’t a choice at that point. It’s a compulsion. Like the story implanted a post-hypnotic trigger in my brain that activates randomly. And when it does, I drop everything—sleep, obligations, dignity—and reread. Again.

Now, my particular brand of obsession comes with a twist: time travel. I don’t just read about it—I research it. Because yes, I’m building a time machine in my basement. And no, I’m not joking. I know what you’re thinking. This person is completely unhinged. Stop looking at me in that tone of voice. Don’t judge me—I’m backed by science.

Stephen Hawking once said, “Time travel used to be thought of as just science fiction, but Einstein’s theory of general relativity allows for the possibility that we could warp space-time so much that you could go off in a rocket and return before you set out.” So, technically, I’m not crazy—I’m just early.

And Einstein himself—our time-bending MVP—once said, “The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.” That quote haunts me. Because if time really is just an illusion, then maybe my late-night diagrams and basement scribbles aren’t completely absurd. Maybe I’m just trying to see through the illusion. With tools. And snacks.

Some books feel like accomplices in this mission. Einstein’s Dreams is one of them. It’s not a novel in the traditional sense—it’s more like a collection of speculative time experiments disguised as dreams. Time slows, speeds up, loops, fractures. Each version reveals how fragile we are, how much we lean on the idea that time is stable. It made me wonder if I want to manipulate time or if I just want to understand why it controls me so completely.

Then there’s The Psychology of Time Travel, which sounds quirky but plays out like a cautionary tale. It’s brilliant, and it doesn’t flinch. Time travel in that book isn’t just a shiny toy—it messes with identity, memory, and even reality. It shows the mental strain of knowing too much about your own timeline. Honestly, it made me stop mid-chapter and ask, Do I actually want to succeed at this, or do I just like the chase?

This is probably why I’ve started keeping my own book—a messy, ever-growing volume of experiments, part science, part psychology. Charts, notes, theories, emotional meltdowns—it’s all in there. It’s not publishable (yet), but it’s real. And it’s mine. Some people journal. I document the potential collapse of linear time. To each their own.

And then there’s the part no one wants to discuss—the mythic weight of time. The ancient beings who ruled it long before clocks or quantum theory. Chronos, the Greek god who devoured his children just to keep time moving in his favor. The Moirai, weaving destinies and snipping threads when they feel like it. Kāla, the Hindu personification of time, is both destroyer and renewer. Even the Norse Norns, sitting beneath the world tree, are casually deciding fates like it’s a hobby. These entities weren’t just metaphors—they were warnings. Time is power, and it doesn’t like to be tampered with.

The more I study, the more I feel like time isn’t linear—it’s layered. Some theorists say time can fold over itself like a sheet of paper, bringing two distant moments into contact. Others call it fluid, a river that bends, swells, evaporates, and returns in strange new forms. Honestly, I’ve felt both. There are days where the past bleeds into the present like ink on wet paper. There are moments I swear I’ve already lived. Maybe I’m stuck in a fold. Maybe I’m just bad at time management. Either way, I write it all down.¹

And Then She Vanished wasn’t just another trip down the wormhole—it rerouted my entire approach. The way it plays with memory, causality, and the emotional cost of screwing with time? It hit differently. I went in looking for narrative patterns, maybe a clever paradox or two. What I got was a punch to the gut and a blueprint for moral consequences. The book didn’t just mess with time—it made me rethink why I want to.

And maybe that’s the real loop. Because every time I pick up a pen, I feel it. Writing bends time, too. It stretches memory, warps emotion, and compresses decades into a sentence. Every time we write, are we building new worlds, or are we just reconstructing something we have already lived? Maybe stories are our version of time machines. Just paper ones. Slightly safer than the one in my basement.


¹ Excerpt from my “Working Theories of Time” notebook, vol. 3:

  • Time is a crumpled map, not a straight road. Folds = déjà vu. Rips = blackout years.
  • Fluid time isn’t just poetic—it leaks. Time gets messy around emotional events—breakups, funerals, weird Tuesdays.
  • The body remembers time differently than the mind. Proof: muscle memory, grief anniversaries, and spontaneous panic attacks for no logical reason.
  • Clocks lie. This isn’t a theory. Just a fact.

This is why I track time like a conspiracy theorist with a mood disorder. It’s all connected. Probably.

The Unwritten Standard

SHORT FICTION – WORD OF THE DAY CHALLENGE

She walked the shoreline like a fading echo, her reflection trailing behind her in the shallow water, unsure if it still qualified to be hers. Time had stretched her thin. Not just in years, but in identity—pulled apart by choices she had to make, and those made for her.

Everyone said she wasn’t eligible.

Not for the kind of life that lives in whispers and instinct. Not for the kind of happiness you don’t need to prove. They said you need a plan, a structure, a timeline, a box. Dreams, they told her, had to fit within a budget—not just of money, but of reason, of patience, of what the world deems acceptable.

But deep down, she knew the rules they played by weren’t written for her.

There had always been this undercurrent—soft, persistent, impossible to ignore—that tugged at her ribs like tidewater. A voice not quite hers, but always with her. A silent, steady reminder that she came from something more than survival. That she wasn’t lost; she was just unclaimed.

It wasn’t ambition she was chasing.

It was the prophecy of her becoming.

Not some ancient foretelling, but the quiet, sacred promise she made to herself when she was younger: that she would not shrink. She would not trade her fire for comfort. She would not let her story be rewritten just to make others feel safe.

She had tried being the replacement—fitting into other people’s molds, echoing voices that weren’t hers. But there was always a price. Always a fracture. Always a hunger that imitation couldn’t fill.

Now, walking into the pale light where sky and sea dissolved into one another, she realized: she had nothing left to prove.

She didn’t need to qualify.

She already did.

The Gauntlet of Fog and Stone

PROSE – FOWC & RDP

The mist clung to the earth like old sorrow, curling around boots and stones, swallowing sound. Two figures stood before the monolith, cloaked in black, their outlines blurred by fog and fate. The stone towered above them, carved from the mountain’s spine. Its surface was worn by centuries but still bore the mark—an eye within a jagged star—that pulsed faintly, like something alive and watching.

They had come a long way to find it. Through dead forests that whispered their names. Across plains littered with the bones of better men. Not for glory. Not even for vengeance. Just the promise of an answer, or maybe an end.

Behind them, the others waited. Hooded. Silent. A dozen warriors who had followed them without question, bound by old oaths and older regrets. No one asked what lay on the other side of the fog. The question had been buried with the first man who hesitated.

The taller of the two stepped forward, boots crunching on frost-hardened gravel. His hand hovered near the hilt of his sword, fingers twitching like they remembered every fight that hadn’t gone his way. “We stand at the edge,” he said, low and certain.

His companion didn’t look at him, just stared at the monolith. “And what waits beyond?”

“Only those who boldly engage the old magic will know.”

The other figure stepped closer to the stone, his silhouette ragged with wear but upright and determined. He placed a gloved hand on the carving. The stone felt warm—too warm—as if it hadn’t forgotten.

The ground answered—not with light but with a deep, resonant hum that rolled through the valley like a warning. The fog began to move, twisting into strange shapes, pulling backward to reveal what waited deeper in the pass—a path, a gate, shadows shifting on the other side.

The second man drew his blade slowly, the sound of steel slicing the stillness. “Then we put on the gauntlet,” he said, quiet but resolved. “And we walk into whatever comes next.”

Not for glory. Not for vengeance. But for truth. And for the ones they couldn’t bring back.

Together, they stepped forward as the stone split open, the mountain groaning with ancient memory. Finally, the fog began to part.

Why “Sometimes It Snows in April” Still Hurts So Good

CHALLENGE RESPONSE – MMB

One of my nephews stopped to visit. We talked about philosophy, music, and a bunch of other things. Almost like he knew I needed to get out of my own head for a moment and be reminded of something that’s always been soothing—music.
After he had left, I plugged in the headphones and got to work.


Prince’s music has left a mark on humanity.
However, the music I enjoyed the most was songs seldom played on the radio—the tracks only discussed quietly among the fans who kept searching for the ones that touched them deepest.

For me, “Sometimes It Snows in April” is one of those songs.

It’s not built for the charts. No booming drums or flashy guitar solos. Just a delicate piano, soft guitar, and Prince’s voice—fragile, almost whispering. It’s stripped down in a way that makes you sit still. Makes you feel.

The song was part of the Parade album in 1986, which doubled as the soundtrack to Under the Cherry Moon. Prince played Christopher Tracy in the film—a charming romantic who dies too soon. The song is what comes after: mourning, confusion, and the quiet heartbreak of losing someone who wasn’t supposed to be gone yet.

And Prince didn’t try to clean it up. He kept the raw demo. You can hear creaking chairs and fingers sliding on strings. Those imperfections? They’re what make it real.

The lyrics hit like a conversation you didn’t want to have but needed:
“Sometimes it snows in April / Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad.”
Simple words, but when Prince sings them, they carry weight. It’s not performance—it’s confession.

Then came April 21, 2016. Prince passed away. Suddenly, a song about losing someone too soon became eerily personal. It was recorded in April. He died in April. And just like that, it sounded like he’d written his own farewell without knowing it.

And here’s the part that always gets me—I often wonder why we don’t truly appreciate an artist until after their transition.
Why do we wait?
Why do the tributes flood in only once they’re gone?
It’s a question that’s never been answered—at least not a good one.

Maybe it’s human nature. Maybe we think there’ll always be time. Maybe we don’t realize what someone gave us until we can’t get more of it.

With Prince, we had a genius in real-time. But songs like “Sometimes It Snows in April” remind us that his deepest gifts weren’t always the loudest. They were the quiet truths tucked in between the hits—the kind you don’t hear until you’re really listening.

“Sometimes It Snows in April” isn’t just about death. It’s about love, memory, and the strange ache of time. It’s about the moments we don’t talk about much—but feel the deepest.

And that’s why it still hurts. In the best kind of way.


Oracle of Hollow Peak

PROSE – CONCEPT ART – DOUBLE EXPOSURE

In the heart of the Hollow Mountains, where the air hummed with silence and time forgot to tick, a being older than wind sat. Encased in a sphere of shimmering energy—neither glass nor light, but something between—the Oracle meditated above a chasm that pulsed with ancient fire.

He had not spoken in centuries. He didn’t need to.

The mountains around him were carved not by water but by will. Their jagged silhouettes, emerald-tipped and layered like echoes, were born from his breath. Each ridge was a memory. Each peak was a vow. He had once been flesh, bone, and fire. Now, he was purpose wrapped in the illusion of form.

To the outside world, he appeared as a man—if a man could be sculpted from starlight and storms. His robes flowed like liquid fog, and his long, tangled beard bore streaks of silver like splotches of moonlight left behind by the gods.

Pilgrims had tried to reach him, climbing in silence, their mouths dry from reverence or fear. None returned unchanged. Most didn’t return at all.

Inside the sphere, reality bent. Time curled inward like smoke. The Oracle sat cross-legged on a throne of molten stone that neither burned nor aged. Beneath him, streams of liquid light cascaded into the void—knowledge pouring endlessly into the earth’s soul, never wasted, never full.

He was more than a seer. He was a medium between worlds—the silent conduit through which forgotten truths passed. Not a messenger, not a prophet, but something more elemental, something that watched as stories ended and began again.

He waited—not out of impatience but design. Somewhere, someone would be ready to ask the right question. Not about destiny or death. Those were too easy. But the one that mattered. The one that cracked the world open.

Until then, he breathed. And in that breath, universes whispered.

I’d Be Shaft, Obviously (Everyone Else Needs Therapy)

Daily writing prompt
If you could be a character from a book or film, who would you be? Why?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

An aggressively personal breakdown of alter egos, revenge spirals, and why fictional characters are one emotional snap away from disaster.

Ever watch a movie, read a book, or binge a show and think, Wow, this character really needs therapy? Like… immediately. They have pills for that. And boundaries. And emotional support animals. But instead of signing up for BetterHelp, fictional characters usually take the scenic route: they grow an alter ego, light their lives on fire, and call it “justice.”

Sometimes you’re just sitting there, watching a perfectly normal person start talking to their dead father’s ghost, and all you can think is: They are so fucked.

Let’s talk about that.


The Alter Ego: Fancy Latin for “Oh no, he’s talking to himself again”

There’s something darkly satisfying about a character cracking right down the middle. Not like “oops, I’m having a rough day” cracking—but full-blown talking to their reflection in the mirror and the reflection talks back cracking.

Dr. Jekyll doesn’t just dabble in science—he mainlines Victorian repression and conjures a walking midlife crisis named Hyde. And Tyler Durden? He’s what happens when toxic masculinity drinks four espressos and finds Nietzsche on Reddit.

“Man is something that shall be overcome.” – Nietzsche

Too bad most characters take that as an invitation to become unhinged vigilantes instead of, say, doing the shadow work.

Alter egos don’t just show what characters fear—they show what they secretly want: power, escape, freedom from polite society. It’s the part of them that isn’t okay with playing nice anymore. It’s also the part that starts the fires and says “oops” later.


Holmes and Moriarty: A Gentleman’s Guide to Mutual Obsession

Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty are technically enemies. But let’s be honest: they’re intellectual soulmates with unresolved tension and no HR department to report to. If Holmes is logic in a waistcoat, Moriarty is chaos in a cravat. One solves crimes. The other is the crime.

Holmes says he’s repulsed by Moriarty’s criminal mind. But let’s call it what it is: obsession. Like, we-should-talk-about-this-in-couples-therapy obsession.

“He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster.” – Nietzsche again, because of course.

Their final tango at Reichenbach Falls? That’s not a climax—it’s a breakup scene disguised as a death drop.


Werewolves, Hulks, and People Who Should Not Be Left Unsupervised

Let’s talk about werewolves: the OG metaphor for “Oops, my emotions got out.” Classic lit was obsessed with this stuff. Guy seems chill—until the moon rises and suddenly he’s shirtless, hairy, and eating villagers. It’s like puberty, but worse.

And then there’s Bruce Banner. Poor guy just wants to be left alone to do his science. But noooo—every time someone provokes him, he turns into a giant green rage machine in cut-off jeans. He told them not to make him angry. They did. Now there’s structural damage.

Each transformation screams what Carl Jung quietly suggested:

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

Which is a very classy way of saying, “Congrats, you’re the werewolf now.”

But let’s not forget—masks don’t just hide. Sometimes they liberate.

“The mask is the instrument of the power that makes one see and speak.” – Michel Foucault

In other words: sometimes putting on the cape, the claws, or the face paint isn’t about hiding who you are—it’s about finally saying what you were never allowed to. That’s why Batman isn’t just Bruce in costume. He’s Bruce off-leash.

The real question is: when the mask comes off… what’s left?


Revenge: It’s Like Therapy, But With Body Counts

Here’s the thing about revenge stories: they used to be neat and tidy. Somebody wrongs you, you plot, you avenge, you feel… better? At least that’s how it worked in the classics. The Count of Monte Cristo is the gold standard of “I was wrongfully imprisoned, now I’m back with receipts.”

But modern revenge stories? Oh, they’re emotionally messy. There’s no neat payoff. Just guilt, trauma, and a long trail of ex-friends.

Walter White didn’t just want to “provide for his family.” He wanted to feel like the universe owed him something—and when it didn’t pay up, he became the universe’s problem. Watching him morph into Heisenberg is like watching your dad get really into crypto and start calling himself an “alpha.”

Amanda Clarke from Revenge isn’t much better. She goes full Machiavelli in heels. She infiltrates high society to take down the people who framed her dad—and in the process, slowly turns into one of them. You know it’s bad when even your revenge plot has subplots.

“Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves.” – Confucius (or at least the internet version of him)

Revenge doesn’t heal. It haunts. And if your therapist charges $200 an hour, revenge charges your soul.


Why Can’t We Be More Like Shaft?

Let’s take a breather from all the tortured brooding and talk about someone who handles his business without spiraling into an existential crisis every five minutes: John Shaft.

Shaft is revenge fiction’s cool older cousin who doesn’t need an alter ego because he’s already whole. He doesn’t slip into madness, grow claws, or adopt a second name—he just walks into a room, says something smooth, and gets stuff done. No inner monologue. No moral agony. Just grit, justice, and style.

Here’s what makes Shaft different: he’s angry, sure—but he owns it. His anger doesn’t consume him; it fuels him. He doesn’t lose himself in vengeance because he never lets anyone else define who he is. He knows the system is broken. He knows justice is often DIY. But he doesn’t get lost in it. He stays Shaft—and somehow makes leather trench coats look like emotional armor.

Honestly? Watching most of these fictional characters unravel, you start to wonder:

*Are psychiatrists who Curtis Mayfield was talking about in his classic song “I’m Your Pusherman”?
Because half these people don’t need a gun—they need a prescription and a twice-weekly check-in with someone who says:

“Know thyself.” – Socrates, probably side-eyeing half the MCU right now.

And here’s the kicker: Shaft doesn’t need a mask to be powerful. He doesn’t hide behind a symbol. He is the symbol. While most characters fracture under the weight of dual identities, Shaft walks in fully integrated—what Foucault might call power without disguise.

“Power is not an institution, and not a structure… it is the name that one attributes to a complex strategical situation.” – Foucault, probably watching Shaft with admiration and fear.

Shaft is the complex strategical situation. Everyone else is just playing dress-up.


Final Thoughts: You vs. You (And Sometimes a Werewolf)

At the end of the day, alter egos and revenge stories aren’t really about villains. They’re about us—our insecurities, our grudges, our late-night fantasies of telling someone off and walking away in slow motion while something explodes in the background.

These stories hit because they remind us how hard it is to be a person. A person with baggage. With rage we swallow. With wounds we dress up as ambition. We all want to believe we’d be the Shaft in our own story—cool, unshakable, morally centered with a killer soundtrack—but let’s be honest: most of us are two stressful emails away from turning into Mr. Hyde.

“Where there is power, there is resistance.” – Foucault

Whether it’s the beast inside, the grief-fueled vendetta, or the charming psychopath in your mirror, every character in these stories is resisting something: society, morality, themselves.

And some of them lose.

Most of them do.

But then there’s Shaft—no split self, no mask, no melodrama. Just a man who knows the system’s rigged, knows who he is, and shows up anyway.

Maybe that’s the real power.
Maybe the rest of us are just monologuing in the dark.

Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #5

FICTION – FOWC & RDP


Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #5
If you survive the kiss attempt, you’re in.


We walked back from the taco truck under the kind of sky that made everything look slightly more romantic than it deserved to. Streetlights flickered on like they were rooting for me. Or mocking me. Hard to tell.

“So,” she said, arms folded, still carrying her drink like it was a trophy. “Do you usually spend your Saturdays pretending to be a mechanic-slash-foodie with girls you’re not dating?”

“Only the ones who invite me to test-drive their haunted vehicles and emotionally unstable lawn statues.”

She laughed. “So I’m special.”

“You are,” I said, before my filter could save me.

She looked over, eyes holding for a beat too long. I panicked and did what any emotionally underdeveloped guy would do: I kicked a pebble and immediately regretted everything I’ve ever said.

We got to her door. The gnome was back. Sitting on the railing again like nothing had happened.

“You brought him back out?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Didn’t move him.”

We both stared at the gnome.
The gnome stared back.
Relentless.

I cleared my throat. “So. Tonight was… really good. Even if I almost stripped the threads off your lug nuts and spilled soda on my own knee.”

She smiled. “Definitely one of my better fake-date disasters.”

And then it happened.
That silence.
The kind that invites a kiss if you’re bold, or complete social collapse if you’re not.

I stepped a little closer. Not a full leap—just a half-step of doomed courage. She didn’t move. Just watched me with that same small smile and terrifying confidence.

This was it. This was the moment.
I leaned in.
And completely misjudged the height difference.

My nose bumped hers. Her forehead bumped mine. My glasses fogged instantly. Her drink sloshed. One of us made a weird surprised sound—pretty sure it was me.

We pulled back, both blinking.

I wanted the sidewalk to swallow me. Instead, she started laughing.
Like, full-on, can’t-stop, leaning-on-the-doorframe laughing.

I winced. “Cool. Yep. Nailed it.”

She grabbed the front of my shirt, pulled me in, and kissed me properly.
Soft. Sure. Just long enough to shut my brain off.

When she pulled away, she whispered, “You passed that test, too.”

The gnome was still watching.
Probably smirking.
Waiting for whatever moment would arrive next.


Author’s Note
And that’s a wrap on this blog series. Thanks for sticking with it. This story (and its awkward kiss energy) will be part of my upcoming short story collection. Same premise, just expanded—with more chaos, more heart, and yes, probably more gnome appearances.

The Quiet Break

POETRY – BARK OF THE DAY CHALLENGE

A whispered secret crawls through alleyways, laced with smoke and static.
Neon blinks like a warning.
You turn the first page, not knowing what’s coming.
This debut is the gateway to madness.

Things We Couldn’t Say, But That’s the Job

PROSE – MOONWASHED WEEKLY PROMPT


“Duty is what we carry in silence, long after the reasons stop making sense.”

They said, Be all you can be, and we believed them. But we didn’t know at what cost.

There is a line—not drawn, but implied. A hush between steps, a rule never spoken aloud but lived as law. It was my job to hold the line. To guard it. Uphold it. Even on the days I couldn’t see it. Even when I wasn’t sure it was ever really there.

We lied to everyone that mattered. Spoke in half-truths, offered polished answers to unspoken questions. And over time, the lies started to sound like loyalty. We even convinced ourselves. Still—we held the line. We sacrificed everything for it. Time. Peace. Parts of ourselves no apology will ever retrieve. But we believed our sacrifices had meaning. And maybe they did. Maybe meaning isn’t always clean.

There were things we couldn’t say—not because we didn’t want to, but because the job required silence. Duty demanded presence, not explanation. We chose service over clarity. Responsibility over release. That’s what no one tells you: sometimes loyalty means carrying the truth quietly so others don’t have to.

When the dust settled, we tried to find something to hold on to—something we could trust, something true, something pure. Not perfect. Just real. Something that wouldn’t dissolve when we stopped performing.

And yes—we sometimes lived in the dark. Operated in shadows. Did things we could never speak of. Things people will never know. But there was always a light. A flicker. A guide, buried deep, pulling us back. Even when we wandered, even when we hardened. Some of our paths were rockier than others, but still—there was hope. Always hope.

I traced the curve of the line out of habit, out of fear, out of love for something I couldn’t name anymore. The line is not a fence. It’s a suggestion, soft as a breath on glass, sharp as memory. You learn to shape yourself around it—to fold your hunger, to tailor your voice. To make small beautiful, and still wonder why it feels like vanishing.

Some days, it glows. Other days, it disappears, but you still feel it—in the pause before truth, in the way your shoulders remember how to shrink. Still, I held it. With both hands. Tired hands. Loyal hands.

And then one day, without rebellion, without even deciding, I stepped. Nothing broke. No thunder. No light. Just space. Quiet and wide. I waited for collapse. It didn’t come. The air was different here. Not sweeter, not easier—just honest. There was wind, and with it, direction.

I looked back. The line was still there, but fainter now, as if it never meant to stay. And I understood: it was never a barrier, only a shadow cast by belief. And belief, like shadow, can shift with the sun.

We did what we thought was right. We held the line, lived in the shadows, and told the stories people needed to hear. And through it all, we tried to provide hope—while quietly, desperately, trying to hold onto our own.

War, Wisdom, and Other Lies I Tell Myself at Dawn

PROSE – FOWC, RDP, SoCS

“Damn, you’re ancient! What was it like to be one of Teddy Roosevelt’s Rough Riders?”

One of the kids on my team tossed that gem at me this morning. Smirking like he just reinvented comedy. I wanted to fire back—something about his hairline already surrendering—but I let it ride. Not because I’m mature. I’m just tired. And honestly? The way the squad erupted in laughter… it was worth the hit. They needed the laugh more than I needed the win.

I’ve never really understood the logic of soldiers. Still don’t. We sign up to follow orders we don’t write, from people we’ll never meet, for goals we’re not allowed to fully understand. And we’re supposed to be fine with that.

Back when I was their age, I like to think I was different. Noble. Thoughtful. Maybe even angelic. (Okay, maybe not angelic. More like… less of a jackass?) But that could just be the rose-colored fog of memory, or the result of years spent rewriting my own origin story like a drunk screenwriter.

There’s something ritualistic about the way the morning unfolds out here. The dawn eats the night. First sip of bitter coffee. First cigarette. The world still quiet enough to pretend it’s not completely unhinged. I watch them wake up—slow, clumsy, half-zombies with bedhead and bad attitudes. Too young to have rituals, too new to know those rituals might one day keep them sane.

I remember one morning, I hit them with Sweet Leaf by Black Sabbath. Volume up, sun barely over the ridge. Half of them looked like they’d been shot in their sleep. The other half just looked confused. I let it rip while running them through live-fire scenarios. Brains not even warmed up, bodies still clunky from the cold.

It wasn’t for fun. Okay—it was a little fun. But mostly it was about pressure. Teaching them to operate before they’re ready, because the world doesn’t care if you’re ready. Expect the unexpected, I told them. It’s a cliché until you’re bleeding because you didn’t.

Eventually, they’ll get it. Or they won’t. Some learn the rhythm. Others burn out trying.

Each day, we stand there like portraits—young faces with old eyes—propping up a cause that shapeshifts depending on who’s holding the microphone. Marching to the beat of some distant desk jockey who calls themselves a leader because they can attach a PDF to an email. And no one questions it.

That’s the part I can’t let go of. No one questions it.

“War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength.”
— George Orwell, 1984

I’ve never fully understood that quote. I’ve got pages of half-drunk, sleep-deprived ramblings trying to unpack it. You’d think, with age, I’d get closer. Clarity, wisdom, all that crap they promise you comes with gray hair. But no. The notes get weirder. The handwriting worse. The questions louder.

Maybe that’s the point. Maybe wisdom isn’t about finding answers. Maybe it’s just about asking better questions—and knowing when to shut up and pass the coffee.

Sun’s up. Time to pretend we’ve got it all figured out again.


This post was written for Ragtag Daily Prompt, Fandango, and Stream of Conscious Saturday.

Writing for Nothing and Ink Stains for Free

Daily writing prompt
What job would you do for free?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE – FICTION

Writing was never the plan. I wanted something stable, normal—not this chaotic urge to bleed words onto a page. But here I am—caught off guard, and strangely okay with it.

You know that stability that gets beaten into your brain by your parents? The same folks who told you to follow your dreams? Yeah. I believed them—probably because they said it a few thousand times during my childhood with very sincere faces. But every time I actually tried to chase something I loved, it turned into: “Boy, you better get your head out of the clouds,” or “Son, you better get back into the real world.”

I worked a thousand jobs before I ever called myself a writer. The blame for all this goes squarely to Cheryl Whitmore. She gave me a journal when we graduated high school. Then, she sent me one every year for my birthday—for ten years—like she knew something I didn’t.

Since she kept sending the journals, I thought maybe Cheryl was into me. Like… romantically. But it turned out she’d had her heart broken and took a vow of celibacy. I wasn’t even sure she was serious. For a while, I figured it was just a clever way of shooting me down.

Years later, right after I published my first novel, I ran into her again, and she was still celibate. Like, the one person on earth not ruled by sex. She was kind of my hero after that, in a way I don’t really have the words for. Just… grounded. Steady. A rare person who didn’t want anything from me but gave me everything.

Now, I write in those journals every day. Or in ones that sort of look like them, depending on Amazon’s mood. You know how it goes—they’re out of stock when you actually need them and drowning in inventory when you don’t. I swear they do that on purpose.

Anyway, even if I hadn’t become a writer for real, I probably would’ve ended up working at the plant next to my dad, scribbling stories on the side for free.

Oh—and by the way, my parents? Yeah, they’ve read all my books. Twice. Now they hound me for the next one like it’s a Netflix series. But on weekends, Dad and I still tinker in the garage on his F-1 Ford pickup like nothing ever changed.

There’s nothing like being a writer. Honestly, why wouldn’t someone do it for free? We’re sorcerers—wielding words like spells, hoping each one leaves a mark. Our journals are ad-hoc grimoires, crammed with half-formed ideas, emotional incantations, and messy blue ink that somehow becomes meaning. We build memories out of language, wrap feelings in sentences, and send them into the world like bottled lightning. If even one of them sticks—if one person feels something they didn’t before—then the magic worked. And that’s the job.

Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #4

FICTION – SHORT STORY SERIES


Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #4
If she says “this isn’t a date,” it’s 100% a date. Don’t ruin it.


“So,” she said, tossing her greasy rag in the toolbox like a boss, “I owe you dinner.”

I tried to play it cool, even though my brain immediately burst into a confetti cannon. “You don’t owe me anything,” I said, knowing full well that yes, yes she absolutely did and dinner sounded like a dream.

“Okay, but I’m still getting you dinner. Not as a thank-you. Just… you know. Casual. Like friends.”

There it was. The dagger.

“Right. Totally. Friend dinner. My favorite kind of dinner,” I said, with the emotional grace of a man trying to pretend pizza doesn’t taste better when it comes with romantic tension.

She smiled like she could see straight through me. “Cool. There’s this taco truck I like. Cheap. Questionably licensed. But amazing.”

“Perfect,” I said. “Nothing says ‘healthy bonding’ like eating meat from a vehicle.”

An hour later, we were sitting on a curb, elbows bumping, holding greasy foil-wrapped masterpieces. She was already two tacos in. I was still trying to figure out how to bite mine without it completely disintegrating into my lap.

“You always eat this slow?” she asked, watching me with mild concern.

“I’m being strategic,” I said. “Every bite is a structural risk.”

She laughed. “You’re weird.”

I paused. “In a bad way?”

She tilted her head. “In a taco-anxious, coffee-faking, car-fixing kind of way.”

“So… like a charming disaster?”

“Exactly,” she said, raising her bottle of Jarritos. “To charming disasters.”

We clinked bottles. Mine fizzed over and spilled down my hand. Of course.

I wiped it on my jeans. “Classic me. Keeping the bar low, so I’m always exceeding expectations.”

She grinned. “You know this is kind of a date, right?”

My brain blue-screened.

“I mean,” she continued, casually licking hot sauce off her thumb, “you offered free labor, let me serve you questionable coffee, survived my car, and now you’re sitting on a curb eating tacos with me like it’s totally normal. You passed the test.”

“There was a test?”

“Oh yeah. The gnome was part of it.”

I blinked. “The gnome was a test?”

She nodded seriously. “He only approves of guys with good intentions and strong emotional stamina.”

“Well. That explains the pressure I’ve been feeling in my soul.”

She laughed again, and I swear it hit me harder than the tacos. It was like someone had tugged a thread that ran straight through me — tight, impossible to ignore.

I looked at her, trying to decide if this was the moment. The moment to claim some free will, throw caution to the wind, and say it.

But she beat me to it.

“So,” she said, “if we do this again, maybe we pick somewhere that doesn’t cause gastrointestinal roulette?”

“Are you asking me out?” I asked.

She raised an eyebrow. “Would that freak you out?”

“Only in the best way.”

“Well, then.” She stood and offered me her hand. “Let’s call it a soft launch.”

I took it, still sitting. “Wait. Was that a farewell to the taco truck?”

“Oh, definitely not,” she said, pulling me up. “We’re just giving it a rest before we end up in a hospital.”

We walked back toward the cars in a quiet little row of footsteps, hers just ahead of mine. And yeah, maybe it wasn’t official. Maybe it was just tacos and teasing.

But this time, I didn’t pretend. It was a date.

Covid-19: When the Shit Got Real

Daily writing prompt
How have you adapted to the changes brought on by the Covid-19 pandemic?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Remember when “unprecedented times” became everyone’s favorite phrase? A true statement for the memories of most of the world’s inhabitants, but it still got on my nerves. I held my breath, waiting for someone to throw in the word surreal and say something like, “It’s so surreal, these are unprecedented times.” I swear, I would’ve walked away screaming as someone gently muttered, “Poor fella, everyone’s so overwhelmed.”

So—real talk: How did you adapt to the chaos Covid-19 dropped into our lives?
Did you start baking sourdough? Rethink your entire career? Form a codependent relationship with your couch? Go over your data plan because Netflix, RPGs, and Zoom somehow became a lifestyle?
Grow a beard that now has its own personality? (How’s that going, by the way?) Man, that time produced some truly unfortunate facial hair. Mine looked like a depressed squirrel had taken up residence on my face for a solid month. Eventually, it evened out—but the trauma lingers.

For me, my home became my fortress of solitude—equal parts sanctuary, bunker, and blanket fort. I was lucky: my stepmother, who lived through WWII, told me to stock up on essentials before the lockdown. And I listened.

The provisions—dry goods, paper products, all the basics you don’t think about until they vanish—were stacked neatly and inventoried like I was prepping for the end times. All of it sat on those hideous, industrial metal shelves that belong in basements or crime scenes, not in the middle of a living room.

But they got the job done. Ugly, but reliable. Kind of like the year itself.

I still can’t believe I actually listened, but it made all the difference. It was like the world we knew vanished before our eyes. People became mean and rude for what seemed like no reason.

But looking back, I think it was fear. Everyone just wanted something—anything—they could control. A place that felt safe.

While the world panicked under a double pandemic—Covid, that beast right there in your face that you had no idea which way it would attack, and Hysteria, the silent rogue creeping in from the shadows—I stayed still, battling my own fears.

Even though I was stocked, prepared, trained—it only provided the illusion of calm. A false sense of control.

I knew it. But I leaned on it anyway.

Because sometimes pretending you’re okay is the only way to survive long enough to actually be okay.

But I’ve been here before—in a different kind of war.

In battle, I was surrounded by people who didn’t just know how to survive. We knew what it took to live—no matter how damn hard it got.

That kind of clarity doesn’t leave you. It changes how you move through silence, how you handle fear, how you hold yourself when no one else is watching.

And because of the kind of isolation that comes with PTSD, I didn’t mind being cut off from people. If anything, it gave me space to finally look at my life without distraction.

I realized medication couldn’t fix everything. I had to put in the work. I had to face the demons—even when it felt like I was the demon.

It’s wild, the stories we tell ourselves about what happened to us. Over time, they twist. They shape how we react, instead of letting us respond.

I saw people pretend they were fine—but you could see the cracks.

You offer to help, because you know that darkness. You’ve walked alone in it. And you don’t want anyone else to be there if they’re not ready.

But the rub?

Sometimes, ready or not, you have to walk it anyway.

We’ve made strides in breaking the stigma around mental health. But no one wants to admit they need help—because no one wants to feel different. Or maybe the better word is broken.

But here’s the truth:

It’s okay to be broken. Everyone is. Some more, some less—but broken just the same.

And so we cope. We sip something, cry in the car, buy stuff we don’t need, gamble what we shouldn’t, scroll endlessly, smile when it’s easier than explaining.

All of it—just trying to hold the pieces together.

The world is big. So vast. And we are connected in so many different ways.

So I have to ask—why do we live it so small?

Speak your truth. As Uncle Walt said: sound your barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world.

You never know when your words will reach someone at just the right moment—when they need it most—to begin to heal.

We are not alone.


How Not to Lose My Mind by 6 A.M.

Daily writing prompt
What are your morning rituals? What does the first hour of your day look like?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

My cat is my alarm clock. Not metaphorically — literally. She’s the first thing I hear every morning, howling like she’s been abandoned in a void, despite living a life of uninterrupted luxury.

There’s no snooze button, no soft chime, no graceful start. Just claws on the floor, judgment in her eyes, and a relentless demand for breakfast.

So I get up. Not because I’m ready to greet the day, but because feline terrorism leaves no room for negotiation.

I feed her. I grind the coffee. These are the sacred rites of passage — the steps that transform me from a disoriented gremlin into someone who can form sentences.

If anything delays this ritual, I take it personally.
Why are you playing with my emotions? Who told you this was cool?

Once caffeine levels are in the green and nicotine’s holding the line — check, check — and the cat has retreated to whatever sun-drenched corner she’s claimed, I begin the real work: protecting my peace.

And look — I didn’t arrive at this approach because I’m naturally serene or some monk-in-disguise.

I got here because of the life I’ve lived. Because of the dents.
Because there are days when my mind goes rogue and starts offering me metaphorical jackets with buckles on the back.

“Give that a new coat,” it says. “It’s very nice. Leather straps. Fastens in the back. Do you want a new coat, Mr. Khan?”

And I answer like I’m seriously weighing the options.

“If you’re good, we’ve got lime Jello for you… You like lime, don’t you?”

And lime Jello is the truth. You don’t mess with lime.
Last time I cut up? They gave me lemon. No one likes lemon Jello.

That’s just mean. Downright mean.

So yeah, I’ve had to learn how to manage my mind, not just for peace — but for survival.

Calm isn’t some Instagram aesthetic for me. It’s a lifeline.
A way to keep the louder voices quiet and the darkness at bay.

That’s why I keep close something Alan Watts once said:

“Muddy water is best cleared by leaving it alone.
What we see as a clear mind is not the result of frantic activity.
It is clear as the morning, not because we scrubbed the sky, but because we left it alone.”

That line sticks with me because it echoes something ancient — something every major religion or philosophy seems to touch on:

The idea of inner stillness.
Of knowing yourself before engaging with the noise of the world.

In Sufism, Rumi wrote:

“There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.”

In Buddhism, from the Dhammapada:

“Better than a thousand hollow words is one word that brings peace.”

And from the Bible, in Psalms:

“Be still, and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

Different traditions. Same thread.
Peace isn’t something you chase. It’s something you uncover — when you get quiet enough.

That’s what I’m after each morning.

Some days it’s just coffee and silence.
Other days, a bit of journaling or staring into the void like it owes me money.

The practice doesn’t matter as much as the pause. The space.
The reminder that I get to choose how I show up — even if some days, that choice takes everything I’ve got.


But some mornings, I skip it.
The ritual. The silence. The pause.

Maybe I oversleep.
Maybe I pick up my phone before I breathe.
Maybe I think, “I’m fine, I don’t need it today.”

That’s the trap.
(Cue Admiral Ackbar voice: “It’s a trap!” — and yes, it absolutely plays in my head every time I skip my rituals like I’m going to be fine.)

Because when I skip my rituals, life turns to quicksand.
And no one’s coming to save me.

There’s no helpful rope, no dramatic movie rescue.
Just me, slowly sinking, pretending I can claw my way out of the churn.

I’m three seconds from a panic attack — except it doesn’t always look like panic.

Sometimes it’s quiet.
Like holding your breath without realizing it.
Like being trapped inside a breathless gasp, chained in place by something invisible.

A prison with no walls, but no doors either.

The anxiety doesn’t fade. It just lingers. Constant hum, just under the skin.
Everything feels urgent. Every noise too loud. Every thought too fast.

I forget what I was doing mid-sentence. I lose time. I react instead of respond.

And the worst part?
I can’t tell if it’s me or the world — and at that point, it doesn’t matter.


But I have to remember — the power to escape is within.

Not in some motivational-poster way.
Not in the “just breathe and manifest your peace” kind of way.

I mean that literally.

The same rituals I sometimes skip — the breath, the stillness, the silence, the coffee, the pause — they’re the tools.

The rope in the quicksand.
The key to the prison that looks like it has no door.

I have to choose to reach for them. Even when I don’t feel like it.
Especially then.

It’s not about fixing everything in that moment.

It’s about reclaiming one inch of space.
One breath. One clear thought.

Enough to remind myself that I’m not just a body riding out the chaos —
I’m a person with the ability to shift, to respond, to say:
“Not today. We’re not drowning today.”


A new pot sputters.
Serenity in a sip.

The cat breathes easy on her perch beside me, no longer screaming like the world’s on fire.
She’s fed. I’m fed — in my own way.

My eyes open each day at 5 a.m. Not by choice, but by necessity.
That’s when the mind starts. That’s when the first storm rolls in from the backcountry of my brain.

I wade through the madness in the regions of my mind, step by step, breath by breath.
No armor. Just ritual.

This — the coffee, the quiet, the stillness — this is how I survive myself.

I use these rituals to breathe.
To feel.
To live.

It’s 6 a.m.


You’re Not Just One Thing

Daily writing prompt
Which aspects do you think makes a person unique?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

We hear it all the time—be yourself, own your story, embrace what makes you different. But underneath all the self-help slogans lies a tougher set of questions:

What actually makes a person unique?
Do we truly want to be different—or has “being unique” just become another trend to follow?

In a world where authenticity is marketed, curated, and hashtagged, it’s easy to confuse standing out with just fitting into a different mold. Sometimes, the pressure to be different starts to feel like pressure to be the same kind of different as everyone else.

And if your values or beliefs don’t match the current narrative? Suddenly, you’re not seen as “authentic”—you’re outdated. It’s become almost unpopular to carry forward ideas from previous generations, even if they still ring true for you.

So maybe the better question is this: What genuinely sets someone apart—not just on the surface, but underneath?

Let’s break it down.


It’s Not Just Traits—It’s the Mix

We like to think people are unique because of specific traits—talent, personality, interests, quirks. But that’s only part of the story. Lots of people are funny. Lots of people are driven. Lots of people love photography, or books, or fitness, or whatever else fills their feed.

What actually makes someone unique isn’t what they have—it’s how it all comes together.

Think about it—we’ve got all these phrases and ideals that define what’s considered attractive or impressive: “She’s out of my league,” “He’s the total package,” “Tall, dark, and yummy.” But what makes someone stand out isn’t universal. It’s a matter of perspective—and perspective is as unique as the person doing the observing.

Two women can look at the same man and see completely different things. One might be drawn to his confidence. The other might notice the way he listens. Sure, they might agree on some traits, but certain qualities hit differently for each of them. The same goes for men looking at women. It’s not just about who someone is, but how they’re seen.

That’s the thing about uniqueness—it’s not just defined by the individual. It’s also shaped by how others experience them.


What Actually Makes Someone Unique?

If it’s not just traits or appearances, then what does shape a person’s uniqueness?

Here’s the real mix:


1. Life Experiences
Where you’ve been and what you’ve been through leaves a mark. Not just the big, dramatic moments—but the subtle stuff, too. The way you were raised, the schools you went to, the losses you’ve dealt with, the opportunities you got—or didn’t get. Two people can share the same background on paper and still have completely different stories because the details matter. How you felt in those moments, what you took from them—that’s what shapes you.

“We are not the same person we were a year ago, a month ago, or a week ago. We’re constantly evolving.” – Bob Dylan


2. Values and Beliefs
What do you care about? What would you stand up for—or walk away from? Your internal compass, even if it evolves over time, sets you apart. Especially when you’re not afraid to hold onto a belief that’s no longer trendy or socially rewarded.

But here’s the thing—our values don’t come out of thin air. They’re shaped by what we’ve lived through. The hard lessons, the turning points, the people who’ve impacted us (for better or worse)—they all influence what we believe is right, what we think matters, and what we refuse to compromise on.

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” – Steve Jobs


3. Perspective
You and someone else could be in the same room, hearing the same words, living through the same event—and walk away with two completely different takeaways. That’s perspective. It’s built on your experiences, your beliefs, and your personality. It’s what makes your voice different when you tell a story, give advice, or solve a problem. It’s the lens through which you see the world, and no one else has that exact lens.

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” – Anaïs Nin


4. Habits and Patterns
It’s easy to overlook, but the way you move through daily life says a lot. How you react to stress. How you celebrate wins. Whether you overthink or dive in headfirst. How you communicate. How you rest. These patterns—formed over time through repetition, trauma, trial and error—become part of your personal rhythm. And even if they seem small, they help define how others experience you.

“First we make our habits, then our habits make us.” – Charles C. Noble


5. Choices
This is where it all comes together. Every day, you make choices—what to do with your time, who to keep close, what to speak up about, what to ignore. And over time, those decisions stack up and start to shape the path you’re on. Some people let life decide for them. Others step in and make intentional moves. Either way, your choices are the clearest expression of who you are—and who you’re becoming.

“You are free to choose, but you are not free from the consequences of your choice.” – Anonymous


The Myth of a Fixed Identity

We act like identity is something you’re born with. Like it’s a fixed list of traits you carry for life: shy or outgoing, creative or logical, introvert or extrovert. But real life doesn’t work like that.

People change.

And not just in surface-level ways. The core of who you are—your beliefs, your boundaries, your goals—can shift over time. Sometimes because of trauma. Sometimes because of growth. Sometimes because you simply outgrow the story you’ve been telling yourself.

The idea that there’s one “real you” hiding somewhere, waiting to be discovered, is a nice thought. But it’s not that simple. You don’t find yourself—you build yourself. Bit by bit. Choice by choice. Day by day.

“The self is not something ready-made, but something in continuous formation through choice of action.” – John Dewey

So if you feel like you’re changing, evolving, rethinking things—that’s not a crisis of identity. That’s you becoming more you.


Why This Matters in Real Life

All this talk about uniqueness isn’t just for introspection or personality quizzes. It has real weight in how you live.

Knowing what makes you unique helps you stop chasing someone else’s version of success. You stop comparing yourself to people who are on completely different paths. You start making decisions that actually align with you—not just what looks good on paper or plays well on social media.

It also changes how you connect with others. When you understand that everyone’s shaped by a different mix of experience, values, and perspective, you build empathy. You listen differently. You judge less. You become more curious and less quick to assume.

And here’s the kicker: knowing your own uniqueness helps you spot your strengths—even the ones you didn’t know you had. The way you solve problems. The way you see people. The way you stay calm under pressure. These things might feel ordinary to you, but they’re often what make you valuable to others.

“Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what they are.” – Malcolm Forbes

So this isn’t just about self-discovery—it’s about self-awareness that leads to better choices, stronger relationships, and a life that feels more like yours.


Final Thoughts

All of this is easier said than done. Truth is, no matter how open-minded we are or how willing we are to stand out from the crowd, life has a way of pulling us back into old habits. Not because we’re ignorant. Not because we think those habits are right. We go back because they feel safe.

Comfort is familiar. Change isn’t.

And sometimes, even the most self-aware people still choose the version of themselves that feels known—even if it’s smaller than who they’re becoming.

“Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.” – Oscar Wilde

So yes, being unique takes effort. It takes intention. But the point isn’t to be different for the sake of it—it’s to be honest about who you are, even when it’s inconvenient, even when it’s uncomfortable.

That’s what makes someone truly stand out.

Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #3

FICTION – SHORT FICTION SERIES


Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #3
Never assume you’re the smartest person in the driveway.


So there I was, elbow-deep in engine parts, sweating like a liar in a job interview, and just barely pretending I knew what a serpentine belt was. I nodded at a bolt like it had insulted me personally.

She crouched next to me, sipping her probably-toxic coffee and watching with the calm curiosity of someone waiting for a raccoon to finish rooting through their garbage.

“You need a 10mm socket for that,” she said casually.

I froze. “What?”

“That bolt. You’re using the wrong size. That’s why it keeps slipping.”

I looked at the wrench in my hand. I had no idea what size it was. I picked it because it was shiny and made a satisfying clink against the toolbox.

“Right,” I said. “Just warming it up. Loosening the tension.” I said “tension” like I knew what it meant in this context. She didn’t call me out. Worse—she smiled.

“Here,” she said, reaching into the toolbox and plucking out the exact socket like a seasoned mechanic. Then, with zero hesitation, she slid under the hood next to me and got to work like it was no big deal.

“Wait,” I said. “You know how to fix this?”

“I grew up with three older brothers and a string of bad cars,” she said. “Also, I once rebuilt an engine because YouTube dared me.”

I blinked. “So… you’re just letting me fake my way through this for fun?”

“I was curious how long it would take before you admitted it,” she said, laughing. “You were doing okay, though. Kind of charming, in a flailing sort of way.”

Flailing. Excellent. I was now officially “flail-charming.”

She handed me a rag. “Wipe your hands. You’ve got grease on your face. And your shirt. And somehow your ear?”

I wiped at everything and absolutely made it worse.

“Thanks,” I muttered.

She leaned back on her heels, wiping her own hands like a total pro. “So. What was your plan? Fix my car and hope I’d fall in love with you on the spot?”

I froze.

Then shrugged. “Honestly? That was Plan A. I didn’t have a Plan B.”

She laughed. A real one. Then, after a beat, she said, “Well… I like Plan A.”

I nodded, trying not to panic. “Cool. Same. Feels like a solid… multi-step process.”

“You’ve got two more rules left, right?” she said, grinning. “Can’t wait to see what’s next.”

Neither could I.

Mostly because I had absolutely no idea what I was doing.

The Museum of Knuckleheads – Exhibit A: The Credit Card Burial

Daily writing prompt
If you could have something named after you, what would it be?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

The last time this question was asked, this was what I had to say about it:

So, I decided today, what if I turned this cute moment between my wife and I into something else? Here’s what I came up with…


Docent Notes, Entry No. 1: Exhibit A – The Credit Card Burial

Welcome to the Museum of Knuckleheads. Admission is free. Consequences are not.

If you’re here, chances are you’re curious, lost, mildly disappointed with your life trajectory—or just trying to kill ten minutes before the Wi-Fi comes back. All valid. This museum wasn’t built for the elite, the wise, or the well-adjusted. It was built for people like me. People like you. People who have stared into the mirror mid-shower and muttered, “Well… that was a choice.”

Let’s begin the tour.

Exhibit A: The Time I Tried to Bury a Credit Card in the Backyard to “Reset My Finances”

Yes, you read that right. That’s an actual dirt-filled display under the buzzing overhead lights. A plastic shovel from a gas station. A laminated credit card. A tiny American flag, for irony.

This was during a phase I call “financial experimentalism,” which is what you call it when you’re broke but still wildly confident. The plan was simple: if burning sage can cleanse a house, why not dig a shallow grave for debt?

I buried the card behind the shed. Said a few words. Patted the soil like it was a dog I was letting go. And then I waited. For what? Honestly, I don’t know. Divine intervention. A good credit score. A sitcom-style reset button.

Spoiler: Capital One does not care if your card is underground. Interest kept growing as if it were photosynthesizing.


Lessons, If You’re the Type Who Learns

  • Debt doesn’t decompose.
  • Just because an idea feels spiritual doesn’t mean it isn’t objectively stupid.
  • Always check where underground sprinklers are before committing to symbolic rituals.

The exhibit still smells faintly like wet dirt and a bad decision you swore you’d only make once. Sometimes, I swear the card shifts positions overnight. Like it’s clawing its way back up.

People laugh when I tell them this one. They assume it’s exaggerated. I let them believe that. It’s easier than admitting it was the most hopeful I’d felt in months.


Closing Notes from the Docent

This museum isn’t here to mock you. It’s here to reflect you—bad choices and all. You may not see yourself in this exhibit. Not yet. But wait a bit. Everyone’s got a shovel moment.

Next time: Exhibit B – Neck Tattoos I Almost Got at 3 A.M.

Until then, take a number. You’ll be up soon.

Docent, Senior Raconteur
Museum of Knuckleheads


Share your own Exhibit

Ever made a decision so irrational that it felt oddly brilliant at the time? Leave it in the comments. One day, we might just build a wing for you. Don’t be shy …


As always, I’d like to shout out the folks who provided inspiration.

Ragtag Daily Prompt

Fandango

Thank you guys for doing what you do

Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #2

Daily writing prompt
What makes you laugh?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE – FICTION SHORT SERIES


Top 5 Ways to Ask a Girl Out: Rule #2
Don’t insult her car. Even if it deserves it.


We walked down the driveway in silence. Not the comfortable, romantic kind of silence. More like the kind where you know you’re about to meet something terrifying and no one wants to be the first to scream.

Her car came into view. If a rusted toaster had anxiety, it would look like this. The paint was more of a suggestion. The bumper was being held on by what looked like hope and duct tape. One of the side mirrors was missing entirely, probably in protest.

“This is it,” she said, completely straight-faced.

I nodded slowly. “Cool. Vintage… apocalypse chic.”

She raised an eyebrow.

Damn it.

“I mean—it has character. You don’t see this kind of structural chaos every day.”

She laughed. “It’s a piece of crap. You can say it.”

“No! I mean… yes. But lovingly.”

Smooth.

I crouched down to check out the front wheel, pretending to know what I was doing. Which I mostly did. I watched a lot of videos. Some had music. That counts.

“So what’s it doing?” I asked.

“It makes this… sound,” she said, twisting her face like she was bracing for judgment. “Kind of a high-pitched… squeal? Or a scream? It’s hard to describe. Definitely not a sound cars are supposed to make.”

“Got it,” I said. “A banshee vibe.”

She nodded. “Exactly. Like if a haunted violin and a blender had a baby.”

I popped the hood. Steam hissed out like the car was sighing in defeat. I was immediately sweating. From heat, stress, and fear that I was about to electrocute myself in front of someone I liked.

“You don’t have to actually fix it,” she said. “I just thought you might know a guy or something.”

“I am the guy,” I said, way too confidently.

I was not the guy.

Still, I grabbed a wrench like I meant business. Tools make you look legitimate. I tapped something metal. It made a sound. Not a good one.

She leaned over my shoulder. “You sure this is safe?”

“Totally,” I lied. “I’ve done this… dozens of times.”

Once. On YouTube. At 2AM. After searching “how to fix car without dying.”

The gnome wasn’t there anymore. I kind of missed him.


I’m laughing … are you?

Let me know when you are ready for Rule #3

Here’s the link to Rule #1

Reach

CHALLENGE RESPONSE – POETRY

problems left behind you—
ghosts with no mouths left to speak.
you walked on,
didn’t flinch.

bare your soul.
not for them.
for you.
because silence
never saved anyone.

whenever i look at the ocean,
i see a version of myself
that doesn’t need fixing.
just space.
just time.
just tide.

home—is
a sound you remember,
not a place you stand.
it’s warm light on old walls.
the echo of your name
spoken like love,
not demand.

reach for infinity.
not to conquer it,
but to know
you were never meant to fit in the lines.



This piece was written for Reena’s Xploration Challenge #374. This week, she asked us to pick a blog or more to write something. I was surprised that I hadn’t written for her challenge before. I hope I got it right. Anyway, I chose the following:

Eugenia’s Moonwashed Musings, and then I ran into her challenge, Moonwashed Weekly Prompts. I don’t participate often, but I always enjoy myself when I get over there. This week is no different. Her poem for this week struck a chord, so I scribbled a few notes. It served as the bones of this piece.

Sadje’s KeepitAlive is another blog I read regularly when I decide to keep it out of my head. In her piece “Homecoming,” her line “home is” has quiet power and hits hard. As an old soldier, I remember the importance of “home.” So, I scribbled some more, and the bones got thicker.

Melissa’s Mom With a Blog hosts these flash fiction challenges, which I enjoy. Often, I scribble pieces for them, but they are used in something else. Every now and again, I manage to finish one just for that challenge and post it. This week, I found her piece, “coming home” whose opening line pushed me over the edge. So, I started scribbling a little more. Her image inspired by the graphics for this piece. I love the feel of that image; I will probably write something for it. And we’ll see if it actually makes it out of my notebook.

I haven’t written any new poetry in quite a while. My brain seems to be churning out the longer stuff. Thanks, ladies, for helping me find my way back.

Eshe

POETRY – FREEVERSE

She was the kind of woman you never really get over.
Sure, you move on.
Build a good life, one full of blessings by any measure.
But somewhere beneath the memories—
Woven into the joy and the pain,
Tucked among the totems of a life well lived—
She’s still there.
Sitting quietly. Unmoved.

Time shifts, and I have a moment of return.
No warning, no ceremony.
Just a scent, a song, a slant of light—
And there I am again.
Back where she was.
Back where I was, too.

The first time I noticed her,
The room was buzzing with chatter and I was minding my own business.
Then she turned—head tilted,
Hair falling in that certain way—
And looked straight at me.
I held my breath.
Years later, I exhale.

Time shifts again.
The room was dark,
But dawn’s light peeked through the blinds and yawned.
I watched her eyelids flutter,
Saw the twitch at the corner of her mouth.
She was lost in a dream.
Was she dreaming of me?
Was I good enough to deserve that?

Time shifts again.
The look in her eyes when she said the words—
It told me she needed to hear them back.
But that same look told me:
If I said them,
She’d never let me take them back.

I knew she deserved better.
Knew she had the kind of soul
That life should greet with its best.
And I wasn’t it.

Time shifts back.
Things aligned and proper.
Decisions made—
Whether wrong or right,
You make them.
You live with them.
No regrets.


Still Flying

Daily writing prompt
When you were five, what did you want to be when you grew up?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

When you’re five, everything feels big.
The world, your dreams, your backpack.

But as you get older, you can’t always hold onto things without a little help.

That’s what happened when I found it—
a flash of memory caught in an old photo,
a school project that somehow survived.
Battered, scarred, but solid.
Like the dreams taped inside it.

I just wanted to fly.
I couldn’t explain why, not then.
I just did.

To see the world.
The wonders from our primers,
the postcard places that looked too perfect to be real.

Maybe I’d discover new lands,
find cool toys, read comics in French.
Were mummies scary? I needed to know.

Was riding a motorcycle as cool as it looked in the movies?
Could I jump cars like Evel Knievel?
Would I one day ride with a girl on the back,
smiling like it was the best thing ever?

I knew I wasn’t old enough for that part.
Maybe when I get big.

Would I be able to sing and dance?
Be cool like Elvis?
Tough like G.I. Joe?
Stretch like Stretch Armstrong?
Or maybe I’d just build the wild stuff I made with my Legos.

But mostly…
Mostly, I wanted to make my mom proud.

And now—
I did fly.

France, Italy, Spain, Japan—majestic in ways no book ever captured.
There’s nothing like flying over treetops with the chopper doors open.
Heart racing.
Then pounding.
Blood surging through my veins.
I felt something I still can’t describe with words.

I never jumped cars,
but I had that girl on the back.
Her arms around me,
her heartbeat against mine,
that sharp little yelp when things got wild.
Yeah, that was something.

I don’t sing, but boy, did I dance.
And when I stopped… I got fat.

Some say I was tougher than G.I. Joe.
And somehow, my influence stretched across the globe.
But no one will ever know my name.

What I remember most—
Mom’s smile as she talked about “the grands,”
each one certain they were her favorite.
Each one knowing they were loved.

As for me…
Did I make her proud?

God, I hope so.

Understanding Yourself Costs Nothing—But Changes Everything

Daily writing prompt
What’s something most people don’t understand?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

It seems like most people don’t really understand themselves—not deep down, not at the core. We’re constantly hit with ads telling us to “live our best life” or “be our best self.” Sure, there are things we’d like to change. But we rarely have the resources to make those changes. Ask anyone what they need most to improve their life, and they’ll probably say: more money. And honestly, they’re not wrong. More money could solve a lot. But it also brings its own set of problems.

What we really need is a better understanding of ourselves. That alone could make a huge difference. And guess what? It doesn’t cost a thing—except time and the willingness to take an honest look inward. Then comes the hard part: doing the actual work to change. That’s tough, especially when we’ve been conditioned to look outside ourselves for answers. Blame is our default setting—blame the system, the job, the partner, the timing.

On the flip side, some people internalize everything. I’ve done that. I’ve paid the price for it too—meds meant to manage the fallout of swallowing emotions and ignoring my own needs. But here’s the truth: just realizing that about myself has helped more than any prescription ever could.