Doing all it takes

What’s your #1 priority tomorrow?

PROSE – DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

Sometimes, it’s difficult to decide what things have the greatest priority. Everyone has so many things going on in their lives the only thing we can seem to do is breathe. Sometimes, we can only take quick and shallow breaths. Despite my daily tasks, my primary priority must always be doing all it takes to make a difference. I concede this priority is challenging, and perhaps I should choose a smaller task. One easier to complete, but this isn’t how I roll. It never has been.

Me? Procrastinate? Nah, Never!

Daily writing prompt
What have you been putting off doing? Why?

PROSE – DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

When I wrote full-time, my writing team constantly accused me of procrastinating. We created several blogs, writing workshops, and countless other writing-related things during this time. Due to this, I wondered why they would say such a thing. I admit I might have been a little wounded. Just a tad. Then, one day, my senior editor had a conversation with me. If I’m being honest, it was more scolding. I felt like a child in the corner, sucking my thumb. Ready to blurt out, “I’m sorry, and I will never do it again,” at the proper moment. You know, timing is everything when it comes to apologies.

It wasn’t about everything we had accomplished; it was a single question about one thing. I hadn’t done. She wanted to know why I hadn’t finished my novels. She had every right to question me; I was writing a novel when we met. I couldn’t answer her then, nor can I answer her now. Worst of all, I have no answers for myself. Oh, I’ve several excuses for not finishing. However, none of them had any iron. It was like there were empty promises we tell ourselves in the moments of doubt. Despite this, since my reemergence, I have continued to write. My progress has been slow, as each sentence brings me closer to finding my way.

Recently, she expressed her delight in my bringing new light to some old stories in the archives. So, she hasn’t been giving me a hard time lately. I’m incredibly grateful to my imagination and Ursula, my muse, for assisting. She can be a pain in the ass when she doesn’t get her words. It’s a whole story by itself. I don’t have a reason why I have finished writing my novels, but I’m writing again. Right now, that must be enough. What I do know, it feels good to be writing again. I feel stronger than I have in some time.

Who are you calling a Grown Up?

Daily writing prompt
When was the first time you really felt like a grown up (if ever)?

PROSE – DAILY PROMPT

Some of my close friends may say I’ve never grown up. It’s almost like I’m clowning around all the time. Then, a group of my closest friends entertain the thought I was born old. A small faction questions whether or not I was born fully grown. I must admit there is a lack of any photographic evidence proving my suspected childhood.

I contend I have an old soul. Yes, let’s go with that phrase. I fondly remember several elders in my childhood using it, referring to me. With this, I conclude that I must have routinely conducted myself well beyond my years. As such, I can’t put together a confirmed time when I first felt like a grown-up. I say it wasn’t the time I kissed a girl or anything. In fact, I don’t even consider when I first entered the military as an adult. I certainly do adult things, but whether I was a grown-up, nah!

However, I was in the military when the haunting moment of adulthood crept into my psyche. Something about facing your mortality tends to snap the child right out of you. It wasn’t the first time, but several events happening in 12 months did the trick. So, there I was, living in another part of the world, trying my best not to take anything seriously. Then, BOOM! It happened I was a grown-up.

As always,

~thanks for reading~

The Lucidity of Silence – 1

PROSE – FLASH FICTION

The wooden rocking chair creaks against the porch in perfect time with the living clock on the wall: Tick, tick, tick. Carol Oxford sat on her porch, looking at the sky, lost in her thoughts about what she had seen in her lifetime. The memories of everything she had lived through. It had been such a wonderful life long from being over if she had anything to say about it.

In seven years, just seven years, she would have witnessed a century come and go. Seven years go so quickly, but so many things could happen. In the past seven years, she had buried over thirty of her friends and loved ones. And now, Roger? She had built her entire world with Roger. He called home to the Father. A smile came across her face as she wondered why the Father didn’t let him get those orchids planted this year. He would have loved to get the orchids before he left. His shovel and pail still sat where he left them as if she was waiting to return and finish the planting.

Sassy still runs out every morning to see if he returned. Then, she comes to the porch and sits on the step as if waiting for him to leave the barn. The woman understands her dog’s action because she still makes the coffee at dawn and pours two cups. As she drinks her coffee, she often wonders why the Father left her here. Why didn’t he take her at the same time or shortly after? Then she would smile as she remembered what her husband would say about that,

“Honey, there are things certain in life, Death and change. You may not like the change, but you can’t control it. No more than you are in control of the life’s ticking clock. So Honey, the best thing to do is be the best person you can, as long as you can.”

6th Avenue Heartbreak

SHORT FICTION

Image by Michael Kauer from Pixabay 

Manu Jenkins and Maury Lawrance faced off back in the 1950s. This face-off changed how things were at The Paradise drive-in. Manu Jenkins, “Jinxy” people called him, and Maury weren’t gang members, just guys who couldn’t back down. Only to find themselves in a situation that lasted a lifetime. This face-off leads to the development of the neutral zone. The neutral zone is no gang activity at the drive-in. Anyone caught fighting at the Paradise was banned for life. That was the law of the land for as long as anyone could remember.

According to Jinxy, “The Paradise” was the only place in town where you could walk around without anyone beating you senseless. Old Lonnie Lawrence, Maury’s father, had everything: swings, slides, cotton candy, and make-out spots. Jinxy nudged me with his elbow, smiling. “That’s where I met my sweet Pearl.” He said, staring off as if trapped inside a memory. Then, finally, he leaned back and smiled. I wondered if he was watching the movie from that night. Praline Madsen “Pearl” was his wife of forty years before going home to glory. Jinxy didn’t make it to the following fall. Jinxy and Pearl, PaPa and Nanna, seemed to me to be a love story, exactly like one that played at “The Paradise.”

Forty years later, My little brother, Trey, wanted to see a double feature playing there this weekend. Bruce Lee’s Chinese Connection and The Game of Death. I was 17, and hanging out with your 12-year-old little brother when you were supposed to be chasing tail wasn’t ideal, but I loved Bruce Lee just as much as he did. To get to the “Paradise,” we had to cross enemy territory. The Paradise may have been the neutral zone, but the surrounding neighborhood wasn’t. I knew the 6th Ave boys owed me a few beatings for jumping a couple of them when they got caught in my neighborhood. Trey didn’t know anything about my part in the beating, but he had witnessed a few as they happened.

“Moe?”

“Yeah, Trey.”

“Why are they beating that man? What did he do?”

“Nothing, Trey … Just in the wrong place; wrong time…you know?”

“No, I don’t….make them stop, Moe!”

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“It’s the world we know.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

~thanks for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #12

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I sighed heavily as I sat down to partake in a meal scarcely worth the coin. This meal is just another example of something we have little control over. I was eating because you’re supposed to, not because I was hungry. We are creatures of habit, products of routine, drones of a cosmic age. Moments ago, the sun was beating on the back of my neck, warming my entire being, As I sat alone in silence, lost in thought, waiting. Unsure what was to come. Yet, I sat waiting. I open my notebook. 

It’s incredible what one hears in the silence. In this world, there isn’t any silence, not really. The noise is deafening, televisions blaring, but no one is listening. Humanity seems lost in the world of tiny screens and wrapped in the lives of make-believe. We are judging reality with contempt for having the nerve to be unfilling. We are having conversations that we aren’t paying attention to. Only to become offended for being misunderstood. We are spending our time poking fun at the unfortunate. Secretly, thankful we aren’t them.

It’s funny how one can never control when the words come or what they truly mean. We write and write until the movement has passed. Now, the once empty page; full. Turning the page, waiting for the next word to appear from the nothingness. Waiting for magic!

If Only Things Were That Simple…

Daily writing prompt
Your life without a computer: what does it look like?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE – RANT

When I look at questions like these, they are so simple on the surface. I answer them in a few short lines: a witty remark or snarky comment. The simple answer for me is my world be so quiet and peaceful. There is no constant notifications of sales on anti-virus software, no Cialis sold at cost, or the lonely mature women needing to be serviced who are waiting for you just a click away. There are no ads from Classmates.com urging you to reconnect with people you don’t remember or are desperately trying to forget.

I would sit back in my easy chair and recall life from a different time. Something so long ago, it sometimes feels like a fairy tale or bedtime story. I stayed up late with my flashlight, reading the latest installment of Conan. My auntie kept my supply stocked. I read them exactly once before stacking them neatly in a trunk. I’d hear my mother coming down the hall to ensure I was in bed. I’d quickly shift to my side and pretend to be asleep. My mother never bought my act but never called me on it. I returned the favor when my daughters would read Goosebumps and The Babysitters Club.

When my children were young, I would sit quietly, reading by the light of the fireplace. My dogs were nestled nearby. They looked as if they were asleep like the children, but they did a lot of pretending as well. Yes, these simplistic scenes are nice and pleasant as we look at this question on the surface. So, let’s be bold and take a peep into the abyss.
Before we get started, let me put on a little mood music. Led Zeppelin’s In Through the Out Door will do nicely.

Let’s begin with the basic survival needs. My life without a computer would be dark, cold, hot, or anything else that occurs in the absence of electricity. A computer system manages the current power grid. No computer, no power, it’s that simple. With no electricity, my refrigerator and freezer would unthaw. My food supply would take a drastic hit. I couldn’t keep my medication at the proper temperature. So, it diminishes my survival chances with each second that ticks away.

You figured I could go to the store and purchase more food, right? Say the grocery store has a backup generator, so their products have survived. However, I couldn’t ring up my purchases because a class 2 laser reads the bar codes, and they feed information into what? That’s right, a computer. Let’s remember the use of electronic funds. We could go to the bank and get cash, but wait… the tellers use a computer to access your banking information…oops!

Soon, we would run out of gas, so there goes the backup generators. No? Well, a computer-assisted system runs the pumps of today. Not to mention, computer systems run all the refineries. Oh yeah, I forgot, computers also run the food processing plants.

Do you want to hear something strange? The things I listed in this post are just scratching the surface, like the question. Despite this, we can get a glimpse of how deeply computers integrate into our daily lives. Yeah, if things were that simple.

As always

~thank you for reading~

Sweating the Details

Daily writing prompt
What details of your life could you pay more attention to?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Throughout most of my life, I have been a detail-oriented person. I suppose I been this way due to a fear of making a mistake. I’m unsure if I realized that fact before I sat down to write this post. However, if success is to had by examing the merits of today’s prompt; honesty is paramount.

What I find peculiar about this whole affair is that I usually don’t miss a thing. All my bases are covered. My backup plans are worked out and in place. I habitually have a contingency for most situations I find myself involved in. So typically, the answer to questions like these is “I’ve squared away.” However, being squared away today is the furthest from the truth than it has been in a very long time.

I’ve mentioned in several posts I have been experiencing some health issues. With this comes a series of lifestyle changes. I’m not exactly pleased by this development and tend to demonstrate the “fuck it” attitude. However, my circles of friends, or better yet, the family I have chosen, have made abundantly clear they are seconds from kicking my butt if I don’t start taking things seriously. I’ve been on this earth long enough to recognize when the threat is real.

So what does all this actually mean? I need to make the appropriate changes to my lifestyle. I need to use my ability to sweat the details to ensure I doing it the right way. I do this for myself and no one else. Well, that’s the right thing to say, yet there is truth and iron in these words. However, it isn’t lost on me that, My family and friends would appreciate my presence as long as possible. There’s nothing better than love felt from your people. Plus, I’m getting a little too old to take a beating.

~thanks for reading~

Shaking of the Rust

FICTION – RANDOM STORY

Daylight slipped into the darkness. The streets have begun to empty. People have started to enter the safety of their homes. A mother is sipping a cup of tea after a hard day’s work. A father making dinner for his children and a sister reading a story to her brother before bedtime.

Hoyt Curtis sits in the dark, staring at nothing in particular. A disassembled .45 ACP on a table in front of him. He and his .45 never met a problem they couldn’t solve. At least, that’s what he would tell himself every time it pointed at its target. However, the truth is it caused far more problems than it ever solved. A picture of his family lay on the window sill. A family that walked away from him 10 years ago. That’s when his wife had reached her limit. The man she loved and became someone else.

Hoyt couldn’t blame her. It was true. The safest thing was for her children to leave. His demons were taking over. They had taken up residence in the front room of his mind. The bastards had the nerve to put their feet on his hand-carved Italian coffee table. He believed his family was better off without him. It was his job to keep them safe, even if it was from him.

Skywriting – 092820231118

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

It’s foggy outside, but I’ve never been clearer
I’ve failed you in the worst possible way
I became something other than what I needed to be
I felt I needed to be something other than who I am
If the failure to you isn’t bad enough,
the greatest failure of all is to myself .

~thank you for reading~

Kiss the Girls for Me

PROSE – REFLECTION/INTROSPECTION

For most of my children’s lives, I was a soldier doing what was required for God and country. Because of this fact, I’ve always felt they didn’t have the father they deserved. This feeling didn’t stop there. I also felt their mother should have picked a better man to build a family. I didn’t feel this way because of anything my girls had done or said. It was just me looking back over things. I wouldn’t change my decision to marry their mother. I just wish I was around more. Yet, I always asked her to kiss the girls for me.

I can certainly say with confidence the hardest job I have ever had has been being a father of daughters. I often wondered if God was trying to get me back for my youthful indiscretions. I learned as much from them as they learned from me. They have made me a better man than I could have been without them. They had to endure a moody stoic who would rather write down his thoughts than verbalize them. A man suffering from a condition I didn’t know existed.

Despite this you still love me, so on this day National Daughter’s Day, I thank you for your assistance in making me a better version of who I am. I apologize for not having the courage to get help sooner. I love you, and you must never doubt this …

We Don’t Have That Kind of Time.

Which topics would you like to be more informed about?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS/REFLECTION/MINI-RANT

I’m always studying something. Constantly scribbling in my notebooks about whatever strikes my fancy. I scribble so much that I spend an enormous amount of money on quality notebooks. No way, I lower myself to use a regular notebook. So what do I do? I discovered how to make my own notebooks. Yay, for me and my ridiculous obsessions.

However, in light of my current health status, I believe I don’t have a choice but to research my conditions. So, let’s take a look.

  1. Hypertension – precisely the long-term effects of uncontrolled hypertension. What are the possible holistic techniques for controlling it?
  2. Insomnia – I have suffered from this condition for years. Perhaps a deeper understanding of the condition will assist in its elimination or minimalization.
  3. Sleep Deprivation – results when one has been an insomniac for decades; who knew?
  4. Gardening – Vegetables, herbs, and sunshine.

I’m looking to discover the wonders within these topics. I have already written two articles concerning sleep disorders.

Armonia

Will you remember me when your famous? 
It is so lovely for you to say so, but I know that you wont. 
To be honest, I would probably forget me too. 
So experience, conquer, and live shamelessly. 

You see I know that I am nothing more than….
A whisper of a stranger 
A smile from a fond memory 
We all know that memories wither and fade 

So I add another log onto the fire of life 
Every so often I poke it 
To see the spark, hear the pop, and feel the warmth 
While I sit in admiration and silence …

Cradled

POETRY – iNTROSPECTION

Cradled within a chair,
For I am soothed and warmed by life’s mystical treasures.
As I turn the pages of time’s forgiving grace.

More than meets the eye

Name the professional athletes you respect the most and why.

PROSE – OBSERVATION

Regarding professional athletes, we as a society tend to look at them singularly. I never understood why that is, but only to say primarily, I wasn’t any different. However, I’ve read articles telling the exploits of some of these athletes. I cannot name all things done, but I can highlight a few things that have caught my eye.

Nice
Sweet
Four Icon’s

In the above photo, we have NFL legend Jim Brown. He’s featured with Fred Williamson, Jim Kelly, and Richard Roundtree. In their own right, each of these gentlemen justifies the use of the word legend. Probably, they were photographed together because of the film One Down, Two to Go (1982), in which they starred. Let’s take a moment to discuss these men.

Jim Brown (1936 – 2023) was an NFL legend who played from (1957 – 1965). Brown is considered one of the best running backs of all time. My introduction to Jim Brown is through his movies. I remember watching his films, but I was unaware he was an athlete then. My uncle sat me down for a long talk about “black heroes” in America. The only thing you can do during one of those talks is keep your mouth shut and nod at the appropriate times. It took a few years to get my timing down, but I eventually got it down cold. I could talk forever about Jim Brown, but this is one last thing I want to point out. Jim Brown had a love scene with Raquel Welch. RESPECT.

Fred Williamson was a former professional football player from (1960 – 1967). I discovered him in a B-Movie martial arts film with Cynthia Rockroth. He was the definition of confidence for me at the time. He was just cool. Later, I found he starred in the Blaxploitation films of the seventies. I remember watching many of those films with my aunt. Where I had to sit there in complete silence under the threat of banishment if I opened my inquisitive mouth. A tradition I passed along to my children. I’m happy to see they continued the tradition.

Jim Kelly to me was the ultimate martial artist. Perhaps because I could identify with him. To have a serious set of skills in the arts, but ridiculously cool. Earlier, this year, I wrote a post called Bruce Lee Saved my Life where I mention Mr. Kelly and he influenced my studies in martial arts, which ultimately assisted in shaping my life. I didn’t have the opportunity to grow an afro like he had, but I embraced the improvisation approach to martial arts. Well, at least I tried. My sensai wasn’t having none of that.

Richard Roundtree is the only one pictured who isn’t a professional athlete. Mr. Roundtree became the titular character of the 1971 screen adaptation of Ernest Tidyman’s Shaft. His portrayal of John Shaft has lasted over fifty years. There were 5 films and a short-lived television series. There were seven episodes. Mr. Roundtree was the epitome of cool among my friends. Leather jackets, turtlenecks, and afro were a fashion staple. Thank goodness sideburns were out of fashion before I could grow them.

Muhammad Ali (1942-2016)

Ali pictured with Malcolm X.

As a child, I grew up watching Muhammad Ali destroy his opponents. He talked so much trash. I remember some people used him as an example of arrogance and conceit. I told some of the older gentlemen playing checkers in the park. They responded, “Yeah, and he can back it up.” Though I always had profound respect for his athletic prowess, I realized I didn’t know much about the man. If I’m being honest, I still don’t. However, I read an essay discussing a moment in Ali’s life. I found a different sort of respect. I began to respect the man as well as the athlete.

Kareem Abdul-Jabber Earlier this year, I wrote a review about an essay Kareem Abdul Jabber wrote. This essay has a story about an event involving him, Bill Russell, Jim Brown, and Muhammad Ali. Here is a link to the early post: The Knucklehead Report #5. As a basketball player and the shortest center in the game, I watched much of Kareem’s style of play. Mostly, he had court poise, which I was seriously lacking.

Whispers of the Dark #11

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I hear your laughter as I write this. I hear the sound your disdain makes as it oozes from your lips. Who I am isn’t enough to satisfy you. Who I am is nothing more than a source of laughter. Certainly, nothing to be respected or loved. I knew who I was when we met. Somewhere along the way, I began believing I was more than I am. If you think about it, the notion is rather pathetic. I realize and accept dealing with me was something done in desperation, something done as a last resort.

I don’t have to guess why this occurred. There is a preponderance of evidence. Yet, my denial is commodious. Foolishly, I opened my heart, knowing I had nothing to offer. I’m a destroyer of love on so many levels; what right do I have to be loved. I suppose, in a way, I’m a selfish jerk who forgot what they had done. Do you believe in fate? Do I have the strength to pull the trigger? Do I have the courage to accept the truth as it stares right in my face?

Standing listening to the whispering darkness as they perforate the perpetual silence. I taste the blood of the wounds neath my scars. I bathe in the memories of the delusion of us I created. I remember your smile, and for one second, I’m hopeful. I wish I could write away the pain of truth. But I have never been that good.

Your silence speaks the truth…

Yet I believe in the lie, it’s safe. Its warmth is soothing like only a lie can do. I wanted to be there for you. I wanted to be someone you could count on. However, your expression speaks the unspeakable. Still, I sit letting the thoughts free flow. I swallow the tears of beautiful lies. I’m praying somewhere in between delusion and reality there is something there. Something telling me I haven’t been lying to myself all this time.

Whatever it is; I’m accountable. I must be strong despite myself. I used to be afraid of the light and noise. Now I must embrace …

The Whispers of the Dark

Choose one? .. Do I have to?

Daily writing prompt
What’s your favorite word?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

It’s ridicolous to ask a writer to choose their favorite word. I’m sure many of us have one, but to call us out. Is that even cool?

Of course, it isn’t. So, I’m going to pretend you didn’t even pose such an absurd query. What’s that now? Let’s not waste time with such foolishness.

It was the sixties, I made my entrance with a bang, if I so myself. We listened to peculiar jiggles that were designed to attach themselves to whatever portion of the brain that allow you to forget it. I wish I knew the name of it, perhaps, I wouldn’t have forgotten her name.

It started with this nonsense

Somewhere along the way, words become essential. Yeah, of course, words are important. They are how we communicate. Perhaps the word I’m looking for to explain better the intensity I’m trying to convey. Should I pull out my dictionary and thesaurus?

It’s hard to concentrate because there aso many wonderful words to choose from. I guess I need to speak plainly. I became obsessed with words. I badgered my mother into purchasing a dictionary larger than my head. She finally relented and brought the dictionary with my first journal.

I hadn’t heard of a thesaurus when I started my quest to learn every word. A student teacher, whose name I forgotten, began to explain about the dictionariers mythical companion. She smiled with her eyes and her eyes were the kindest I can remember seeing. She also discussed Schoolhouse Rock with me.

My Secret Superhero

Looking back, I don’t she was very old. At the very least she was still in touch with her inner child. Her guidance helped shaped the writer I eventually became. I just wish I could remember her name.

~thanks for reading~

Have I told about the time…?

Write about your most epic baking or cooking fail.

PROSE – RECOLLECTION

I’ve been cooking ever since I was about eight years old. I’m not a chef, but I can hold my own in the kitchen. I often find myself complaining about the local cuisine. So much, my lady questions me every time I get takeout. Plus, there have been some mishaps concerning my dietary restrictions. So, she believes to resolve these issues is to cook at home.

Now, did I ever tell you about when I tried to add MRE’s dishes to my menu?

My main food source for years.

Meals Ready to Eat (MRE) has been a source of rations for the military for a number of years. I and several others have learned to make these meals taste a little better than how they come out of the package. If you look online, I’m sure you find thousands of recipes. When I started eating these, there was a different package, and I don’t remember there being a heater. There may have been one, but I honestly can’t remember.

We learned to eat a lot of meals cold. My unit was on the move, and cold meals became the standard. When we were able to stay stationary, we heated things up. However, this wasn’t very often.

So, I got married, had kids, and all that. The kids wanted to know what I ate while I was away. So I brought a few home and told them about them.

Over time, you learn which meals contain the different sides. Apple vs. grape jelly, peanut butter or cheese spread, things like that. Obtaining the ingredients and getting the portions correct can be a delicate process. We had all the ingredients. Then, we started putting everything together when my pager went off. I hurriedly gave my middle daughter the instructions, grabbed my go-bag, and headed out the door. As I walked out, she repeated everything to me, and I assured her she had it down. She did, except for one thing. Heat.

I returned a month later, but I never did get the full story of what happened. I was summarily banned from the kitchen. It took decades before I was granted access to the kitchen on a provisional basis. I thought the whole affair comical; being blamed for something, and I wasn’t even there. Honestly, I think me leaving in the middle of fun time with the kids with the problem.

~thanks for reading~

Age of Innocence

What brings a tear of joy to your eye?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I beleive its important to point out I’m some pansy running boo-hooing. However, acknowledging the presence of tenderness or innocence displays reserves of strength that can’t be adequately described in words. I know I been trying for years. Yet, I suppose one of you may have come up with something by now.

When I close my eyes thinking of innocence, I have a moment of return. I was child running through the snow. On my way to no place in particular. The idea of freedom after the storm was enough. Soon, I’d run into a friend and another random child exploring freedom.

We’d play until our fingers were numb. Because everybody knows waiting any further, you know, waiting until they start to ache. It was bad enough to sit from the oven with your fingers stretched out. They ache, hell that wicked pain. The kind of pain that brought tears to your eyes. There’s no shame in it. We weren’t old enough to understand that kind of foolishness.

Some day, not long from then, we were introduced to foolishness. We stopped expressing our feelings. We swallowed them like they were a plate full of double cheeseburgers. We just shovel them down one after another. I suppose that’s the price of manhood. Well, at least it was that way when I come up.

I miss the age of innocence because life tends to rip it away unexpectedly. Leaving you standing there with a gapping hole where innocence l

It Began as a Mistake

What are you doing this evening?

PROSE – INTROSPECTION/DAILY PROMPT

Or an error in judgment. Me thinking I was going to live forever. Me, thinking my body was going to remain in its current state. Somehow, I believed I was tougher than I am. I remember making fun of the older generation when I was younger, saying stupid things like, “That will never be me!” In some ways, I was correct, and in others, I was utterly wrong. It turns out I am worse. Some of those folks are still around. They look at me with those tired eyes that have seen far too much. Yet, there is an understanding behind them. This understanding, a nod, and a slight smile welcomed me to a group I never thought I deserved to be a member of.

Here we are, three weeks into it. My life changed forever. I have to make some adjustments in how I do things. That ought to be fun. I have new prescriptions, new doctors, and new challenges. I never much thought about dying. I figured it was one of those things that came in the night without warning. You know, the reaper sneaking up on you because he was too much of a punk to face you head-on. Turns out the reaper is no punk.

So, this evening, I sit writing about the madness I’m in the middle of. I’m thinking about how foolish I’ve been. I’m thinking about how it began as a mistake. How I wish I could tell my parents, I got it. It makes sense now. I just hope they read my blog wherever they are. I’m thinking about how I had my whole life to prepare for this moment and why aren’t I ready? Yeah, the shit just got real!

I Got Drunk in Korea; Woke up in Japan.

Share a story about the furthest you’ve ever traveled from home.

PROSE – REFLECTION

I wish I had a wonderful, delightful tale about this title, but I don’t. Unfortunately, I’m unable to offer the sorted adventure due to one fact. I don’t remember a thing from that night. I went so far as to ask friends for their account of the evening’s activity. Nothing!

The overall opinion of the everyone involved that night is the following:

“Man, I can’t tell you,” one said, as he shook head with I can only describe as look of shame on his face. I immediately thought the worst.

“Man, tell me.” I exhaled deeply squaring myself, “I can take it.” I assured him. He shook me off.

He sat there quietly for several minutes as if he were trying to decide if he was ready to be the herald of bad news. Then, slowly, he began his tale. Quickly, I realized what he was holding back had nothing to do with me.

As I talked to the rest of my buddies their tales were similar. One work up in a tree. Another in a ditch with a woman.

“Really, dude?” I asked. He just nodded

“Name?” I asked, he shrugged.

“Japan, huh?” he asked, I nodded

“Cool, you made out better than we did,” he said, looking up towards the sky as if it had some universal truth waiting to be discovered behind the clouds. I also found myself looking up, searching for what I imagined to be the same thing or some truth completely different. Neither, I can be certain about. Then I heard his voice bringing me back.

“You can’t remember anything, brother…blessing…no shame” he said.

I nodded thinking there’s that

Skywriting – 090620230820

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

REO Speedwagon’s Ridin’ the Storm Out sets the tone for the morning. I’ve no idea what going on, but I feel like writing. Of course, this happens while I’m at the office. Ursula, my muse, is sitting here in the office like she is a client or something. Knowing, damn well she’s being a pain in the ass.

She’s looking me pouting as I type these words, like there is heat in them. She knows if she keeps whispering, I’m going to write a story or a bit of prose.

Really? the twirling the hair thing? It’s like that?

She smiles and snaps her fingers

Malcolm Young playing rhythm …

Here comes Angus’s power chord … shit

I look over at Ursula and her eyes are sparkling and her hips begin to sway as Bon Scott begins to do his thing.

I sit here trying to fight off the tremors that come every time I hear this song. I know there is no use, but its adorable I try.

Ursula, uses this song every time

All right, Ursula

If you want ink? You got it!

The Last House on the Left

What does your ideal home look like?

PROSE – RECOLLECTION

If you are certain age, you may recognize the title of this peice. It was a horror film from the seventies. Back when there good or I was young and didn’t know any better. I choose this title because I want my ideal home to completely the opposite of what the house in that film represented.

For those of you who are familiar on how I do things here, get ready we are about to kick things off. For those who are new, things may get weird so prepare yourself. Snacks are in the cupboard. I believe that a few throw pillows in the hall closet. There’s a popcorn tin to the right. Three different flavors I might add. The grandchildren no I’m a sucker for popcorn.

Look around you, there are wall to wall books from every region of the world. All of them writtem in the language of their origin. There they are just waiting to be read by you, by me, by everyone. Now, I understand some of you folks have come here for ole`Mangus to tell you a story. Well alright then, let’s get to it.

Look in front of you, down the dark walkaway through the door. You don’t see anything? Look again.

There’s nothing to worry about … come on

Within these walls we have the ability to have anything we desire. All that is required is to write the sentence, tell the story, dream. My ideal home is a house of magic.

SHHH…My Lady & Editor Might Be Geniuses

Why do you blog?

PROSE – REFLECTION/INTROSPECTION

The sun has set, signaling the end of a wonderous day. Nothing particular happened, but it just felt good all around. In the spirit of this, let’s speak plainly and talk about this prompt. Let me remove my mask for a while, just to prove to myself I’m human after all. Regarding this prompt, I am trying to understand why I blog—at least, not a hard, fast answer. One I say with any confidence of its truth because it’s complicated.

So come on in and have a seat. I have a lot to say, but I’ll hurry every chance I get. Welcome to the regions of my mind. A hideaway, if you will. Don’t mind the skulls; there are totems of my former glory long past. This blog, at least a version of it, has been around for over a decade. I know it’s hard to imagine it’s been that long, and I created it. However, two things occurred which has changed this blog forever.

I had decided to get writing publicly last year but took my time pulling the trigger. My lady requested I increase my online presence, which I agreed to only to end the conversation. I figured my success would be fleeting. I explained this absurd request to my longtime editor, and she agreed with my lady. “What will it hurt? she said, or some madness close to that. So, I started posting. I received more traffic in the first thirty days than in the previous decade.

Despite this success, I wasn’t convinced I had what it took to grow and maintain an audience. I spend a ridiculous amount of time figuring out the magic formula to make a blog popular. My number kept climbing, but I still worried about the stats obsessively. I had to quantify my efforts. I sat at my desk saying WTF am I doing wrong? The answer was the simplest one I’ve answered all year. It’s shameful when I think about it, how it sat there in front of me the entire time. I kept looking every place else for what I needed; instead, where I needed to look.

If you are a fraud or don’t believe in what you are writing, it comes through in the writing. So, I took a step back and started writing what I knew: pain and turmoil. Some of you might remember it was a gut-wrenching couple of weeks. This blog is a place where I get to face my demons head-on. I slay them at times; at others, they slew me. However, each time, I continue to fight. I don’t know any other way. It was how I was raised; I see no fault in it.

So, here we are then, you and I, faithful readers, your support is greatly appreciated. You have done more for me than any pill or therapy session. Here, I dive into the darkness of myself, my monster, and come right along with me. Such brave souls. The cool stuff, the part that’s the shit, Is you allow me to read you. I get a glimpse of the world through your eyes.

I often wondered: With the world as big as it is, why do we insist on living it so small? As I sat formulating this very sentence I’m typing, my eyes were closed momentarily, and a smile crept across my face while thinking of the countries I’ve read today. It’s staggering, to say the least. Each picture, word, sentence, meme, or prayer has the potential to touch so many. It may be the thing that makes the difference in someone’s life, and you have no way of knowing. That’s okay.

We tell our stories and strengthen the people we touch. I’m sorry, folks, that’s some beautiful shit, and I got to be a part of that. I had no idea it was going to be like this …

My Lady and My Editor might be geniuses … for real!

SHHH…

Skywriting – 090120231253

What motivates you?

PROSE – INTROSPECTION

I sit thinking about the question before me. As usual, I overthink everything. Qualification is a necessity before answering the simplest question: insanity, a worthy description of my state of being and actions. I believe I’m slow dancing on the edge, but I’m drowning in the middle of an abyss I conjured.

The only thing that keeps me going is my grit. My ability to withstand all I subject myself to. No person has the power to affect you unless you allow them to. Yes, the power they have over you was gifted to them by you. I know, right? That’s the rub. Understanding this concept is the easy part.

Regaining your power won’t be easy. It may be the hardest thing we have to do.

Learn to swim …

I’ll see you in the deep end. I’ll be the guy struggling just like you.

Skywriting – 090120230836

How are you feeling right now?

PROSE – INTROSPECTION

Somewhere in the admist these series of events called life, I began to believe a lie. No, no, no not a lie told to me. I wish it was that easy, something that simple. You can shrug those off if you want. You can justify the reasons why a person lied to you. But, the lies you tell yourself are permanent; at least they seem that way. No matter how hard you try. No matter how many lies you tell to hide the first.

Looking back, I can remember when I first uttered the lie. I was filled with conviction and promise. I meant everything I said at the time. Yet, I can’t recall when it became a lie. Some may question whether it was ever truth. It was. That much I’m sure of, I meant with everything I had in me. Slowly, without noticing, I had become a bald-faced lie.

Pleased to meet you…I’m the butt of the joke.

Pack your bags We’ll Leave Tonight

If you won two free plane tickets, where would you go?

PROSE – CHALLENGE

I’ve mentioned before I hardly take any time off. When, I do I typically don’t go anywhere. I sit at home and get lost in the pages of a good book. Yet the idea of winning tickets to go anywhere is tempting. Immediately, the old song of Eddie Money pops into my mind.

I Wonder What It Is ?

PROSE – RDP CHALLENGE/ PHOTOGRAPHY

I have always heard there’s a reason for everything. I always viewed as one of those things people say when don’t anything better to say. For a lot of folks that atitude is perfectly fine. The necessity to drive deeper into an issue or situation isn’t a requirement and there’s nothing wrong with that.

For many years, professionally, I needed to answer to those kinds of questions. I had to get to bottom of situations or problems in order to provide possible resolutions to them. If I’m being honest, some of the reasons for certain situations didn’t make sense then; they don’t make sense still.

I live a different life now,. There’s a reason has taken a different meaning for me. Wait, a different spin, yes I like that phrase better. Since, babbled on about who I was before, lets talk about who I am now. Hopefully, its itzy bit more entertaining .

Photographer:

What was the reason I took this shot at this particular angle?
or this one?

I can’t remeber the reason I took them this way. Honestly, I can’t remember if I even cared. Typically, when I take pictures, I allow the moment to speak to me. I’m surprised of the shots I get when I download them onto my computer.

Writer:

I never know what word is coming until it comes. Sometimes, I’m as surprised of what omes out of me as the reader. There are times when I read a written piece it feels as if I was readng it for the first time.

It’s almost if the characters I create have their own lives. It feels at times , my job is just to record my characters truth. I know these things sound a little odd. But I suppose that’s okay. After, living a life like I have, a little whimsy is tolerated.

No Variations Needed

What daily habit do you do that improves your quality of life?

PROSE – DAILY PROMPT

Allow me a moment to consider which one of my daily habits improves my quality of life …hmm

Is it reading the news? nope

Posting on my blog? nah

This is more difficult than I imagined…

I have it now…

Mounds and mounds of it

Although, I need it. I understand that it benefits humanity if I drink it regularly. I’m not quite sure they say this, but I hear it a lot. So, there may be something to it.

The Nature of Daylight

What’s your favorite time of day?

PROSE – DAILY PROMPT

This shouldn’t be a difficult question, but as I consider a response to this daily prompt, the difficulty has begun to rear its ugly head. The three-eyed gnarly creature and its rotten tooth cousin doubt fester, making me weak and powerless. Yet, desperately, I wage war against myself to write the whispering verses I hear throughout most days. But I’m more than a little curious about how this post will end.

The Night has come. I close my eyes and envision the stories the words have whispered throughout the day. I sway to the waves of darkness. My lips moistened by “the ballad of stillness.” as I await its return. Writing is what I’m here for. Writing is what I crave. I write to claim the sanity that is mine.

I feel my monster stirring, preparing to drag me down another hole. Can someone feed this monster while I string the words together as I rapidly approach the bottom? Our blades are drawn, my katana versus his scimitar. Our swords clang as they slice the air. Each wound releases our demons. Demons, we don’t want to know. Yet, we ignore the pain, the truth, and smile.

The monster whispers, “Help me if you can?”

“Kick rocks!” I reply

The monster pleads, “Write me a lullaby.”

Let me ask you a question? Has anyone ever seen a monster pout? He even had his bottom shot out. That crusty, gnarled-up thang. Definitely, not a good look. Because I’m a dick, I sang an enthusiastic rendition of Drowning Pool’s “Tear Away.”

You know this bastard had the nerve to weep? When did crying monsters become a thing? Soft-ass monsters? That’s some bullshit! I going to need his bitch ass to get it together. Without him haunting me, driving me further into the bowls of madness. I will burn all my journals, for I won’t confess anymore. I can no longer bury my secrets in shame. This is where I draw the line.

Wait, the dawn is coming. This whiny asshat has kept me up all night. Is this my future? Is my journey to sanity haunting me? For my monster is sleeping. My body, my spirit, awaits the caress of Slumber. I slip into her arms and surrender. To be soothed, even if it’s for a short while. This is my favorite part of the day . I sleep as the world awakens. For a few hours, I bask in the nature of daylight. …its 5 am

The Lucidity of Silence – Intro

PROSE – SHORT FICTION

The interwoven steel and brick appear the same after all this time. I am standing here where I first laid eyes on her. The spot where things go in slow motion allows me to memorize your every movement. The spot, though the crowded streets, our eyes met for the first time. It was like she looked right through me, a gaze that severed my armor-plated exterior. She saw me for who I really was. It was terrifying and exhilarating at all once. No mask, no pretense; she was looking at me, a simple ordinary man.

On that day, in that moment, I took the first breath of the rest of my life. On that day, in that moment, my life became redefined. I stood there stagnating, watching my world change for the better. Watching my wildest dreams become reality. I found the confidence to become whatever I could imagine. I knew I had the strength each time I looked into her eyes. Every flutter of your eyelash gave me the courage to strive for unattainable. Little did I know that my vanity would be my curse. Things got so mixed up.

Now, alone on a park bench, the wind blows steadily, bringing the night chill. I listen to its lonesome howl, and I know its pain. I listen to the night, the silence, and feel the chill creeping slowly into the emptiness of my soul. Exhaling, clearing this moment’s anguish, the whispers begin to perforate the silence. I begin to hear the tales that go unspoken. I close my eyes and open my soul as I hear the lucidity of silence.

~thank you for reading~

Late Night Rambling

PROSE – SHORT FICTION

It was a Friday night, and the writing contest deadline was in a few hours. I barely had a solid opening, let alone anything that made the cut. Finally, my muse hit. My fingers had begun flying across the keys. Sentence after sentence filled the page. My sultry but forever absent muse had returned for a special one-night showing. I was eternally grateful. I was so lost in the story created in a presumed moment of brilliance that I barely noticed the rumble of thunder outside.

Though it had been hours, 5,000 words flowed out of me in what seemed an instance. I leaned back and lit a cigarette. I began to review what I had just written. It could be my best work or literary psychobabble like anything I had written. The first three paragraphs had promise, but the next two needed an infusion of common sense. On second thought, the delete button needed to be my best friend. It could save me from swirling in a vat of my ignorance.

Suddenly, the unthinkable happened. I heard the lightning as it struck. I remember jumping a little because the rumbling thunder shook us to the core. The lights began to flicker. I looked around, hoping that it was a fluke. I went to the living room and let the dogs inside. Although they were killers, they were afraid of thunderstorms. The house went dark. Quickly, I retrieved the candles from the junk drawer and lit them. Sitting in my easy chair, I caressed my dogs to settle their nerves. Then, it occurred to me my story.

I knew my word processor had auto-save, so most of my work would be saved. Hours went by, and still no lights. I could hear the sirens of emergency vehicles echoing through the neighboring streets. This storm was worse than most. Finally, six hours later, God smiled at us and restored the power. My dogs continued resting by the chair. I noticed their eyebrows raise as I began to move. I got to my office to see how much of my work survived. I hit the power button, but nothing happened. I knew my machine was old and desperately needed to be upgraded. So I hit the power button again, and still nothing,

I began crawling around on the floor, attempting to find my way through the jungle of power cords, USB cables, and everything else was hooked to my machine. I hit the power button again, filled with hope and promise, alas nothing. Angry, frustration, and devastation hit me all at once as I looked at the scene in disbelief. Of all the days my machine could go down, why today? Why when I had something that could have been great lurking on those digital shelves that seem to crumble under the strain?

Sifting through the pile of paper on my desk, I looked for the number of the computer guy that my friend had spoken so highly of. I find the card underneath the final pile, at the farthest corner of my desk. It was crumpled and coffee-stained, yet it was still legible. I called the shop and got the machine. How could they not answer the phone right now? This was an emergency. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was 3 am.

10:00 am couldn’t come fast enough. I feared the worst. I feared that all my recent work would be lost forever. Hopefully, this computer guy could save me. On pins and needles, I waited for the store to open. I had checked my bank account and had enough to buy another laptop, but I didn’t want to. This laptop and I had a history together. Through the late nights, countless articles, shorts, and just some incoherent early morning babble created. Through it all, she had stayed with me. A clear testament of devotion and stamina, no one truly understands a writer’s relationship with their machine Except for another writer.

I was tired of waiting, so I jumped into the car and drove to the store. Thirty minutes later, a beat Honda pulls into the parking lot. A lanky young man exits the car, looking like a cross between Maynard and Gilligan. I give him a few minutes to get inside and get things settled. I smoked a cigarette while I waited. I sat staring at my laptop, saddened, hoping things would be okay.

The store was a shambles. Stacks and stacks of computers that looked similar to mine. It was like lost souls looking for their way home—a digital wasteland within the mortar and brick. I wonder how many had walked in like me, hoping for a miracle. I wonder how many walked in and lost all hope once they saw this. I must admit, my confidence seems to be fading. I turned towards the counter, and there silently stood the man who held my sanity in his hands.

I explained my plight to him. He didn’t seem to care by his expression. By this time, he had heard nearly every story there when it came to this. He reached for my machine and excused himself to the back of his show. I swallowed hard; sweat began to bead on my forehead as I waited for his return. I stepped outside and smoked a cigarette, attempting to calm my nerves. It wasn’t helping at all. My mouth began to water as I contemplated going to the C-store and buying a beer.


This is a piece of fiction considering reworking. What do you guys think? Scribble or Delete?

Why Bother?

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

Why do I bother to post in other groups?
When my words are barely read at their home
Perhaps it is an evolving disillusion of a boyhood dream
To do something in life that makes a difference

To touch someone’s soul with a glance
To inspire a dream with a whisper
When did the purity of an ideal dissolve into an institution
Perhaps, the day you uttered another name, replacing your own

Why do I read my work aloud?
When it is obvious no one is moved
The only thing mentioned is its length
Nevermind anything about its strength

Were you listening?

There’s no need to lie to me.
Perhaps it’s because my words lack the standard rhyme or mitre.
Perhaps I have yet to say something that possesses some depth.

One thing is clear.
Their silence speaks louder than any word could

I found this piece on an old folder … interesting

~thanks for reading~

Skywriting – 082420231329

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

No man should ever eat another man’s dirt.
Sometimes, its better to go home, pride wounded
Then, to end up neath the dirr

Skywriting – 082120230945

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Pain is coursing through my body like I’m riding the rapids. There seems to be no end in sight. I can barely keep my eyes open. I barely slept at all. Yet, today is a good day. Today, is a solid day.

I got married on this day, decades ago. I know its crazy. How did I find a woman crazy enough to put up with me. It boggles the mind, but I never question the laws of physics. God rest her.

The first granddaughter was born today. Though she’s a pain in the butt, as are all my grandbabies. I couldn’t be prouder of her.

So today is a good, solid, and strong day!

Be Blessed !

Party in the Streets

What do you love about where you live?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

The thing I love about my neighborhood is the sense of community. Everyone is struggling in one way or another, but somehow, we come together in times of need. Today, I witnessed a local church hand out school supplies to its members.

Sometimes, out of nowhere, things like this happen.

Now, I’m the only one who’s plays rock & roll in my neighborhood, but the sentiment is sound.

Mangus Unplugged

Peering at the surface of my mind

PROSE – Straight talk

This is a response to a writing prompt I found on Medium. I thought it would be a good opportunity to slow down and examine what I’m doing and why? In the following few lines, perhaps, you will be able to better understand the writer known as Mangus Khan. So, I will put down the mask and speak to you plainly.

This has been sitting in my drafts for months. I forgot about it. So here it is …

When did you start writing? Is there a specific story?

I started writing when I was young. I can remember a specific age, but people’s opinions of me really mattered at the time. Shakespearean Psychobabble sticks out as an early work. I recall it fondly.

Do you have rituals in writing? If yes, then please share them with us.

No rituals per se, but nothing gets written without a cup of coffee. I’m afraid of what might come from my mind without my fix. I jot down anything in my head when I first wake up. Writing down the raw idea is essential for me. This way, I have an untainted version of the concept. Next, depending on what kind of mood I’m in that day; I might play a little music. I typically don’t write poetry to music, but it has inspired several poems. When I’m writing longer works, I find music drives the emotion I’m conveying rather well. However, it depends on my mood or what I’m writing.

The ugliest monster that writers are afraid of is writer’s block. If you have a recipe to deal with it, kindly share it with us.

Writer’s block has never been an issue for me. I think it is nothing more than a myth constructed by some writer during a particular undefined period. However, my constant monster or crippling demon is self-doubt. For me, it’s like Doubt lurks in the shadows of every corner. However, journaling is what keeps me sane. Not everything I write gets posted.

Describe the process of finding ideas for your stories. Please elaborate.

There is no set process. Nothing like step 1. I do this or Step 2. I do that. That might be nice or maddening. I let things flow to me, how they are supposed to. If I remember, I was meant to. If I wasn’t, I don’t. However, I often get gentle reminders and other times they aren’t so gentle.

As humans, we suffer without knowing it by choosing not to move outside our comfort zone. Do you have a “comfort zone” in writing (i.e., a topic that you always like to write about)? Have you tried to step outside your comfort zone and write something drastically different?

Typically, I can write just about anything. Of course, there are genres I’m better at than others.

Besides Medium, do you use other writing platforms? Please share our experiences.

I run a blog about my work and a writer’s workshop website. Both of these sites are hosted on WordPress. Both are relatively new, but there is a direct correlation to the work I put into them.

Have you published a book? If yes, how and where…etc. Plz, feel free to share your links with us.

No

You write because writing provides you with something special. Could you share your experience?

Writing, for me, is cheaper than a shrink. It’s my state of calm, my safety blanket, or my church. When writing, I have the ability to be myself. I can say all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t. I get to stare my demons in the face and tell them to “KICK ROCKS,” whether they leave or not is another matter entirely. However, I find peace within the moments I can write these lines.

Do you write a paragraph, a chapter, or a story with the end in mind or not? plz explain

I get several ideas throughout the day. However, the ones I pay the most attention to come in the morning. They are mainly fragments of something. Sometimes it’s the beginning, while others, it’s the middle, and of course. Example: Once, I wrote an entire novella around a single scene in an alley.

Every writer has an idol. Who is yours? And what do you find inspiring in her or his trajectory?

There have been several writers over the years who stuck out to me. There have written something that spoke to the soul.

Does being on a writing platform like Medium help your writing plans? Plz, elaborate.

No, my writing plans are completely independent of Medium. However, I found my Medium experience to be beneficial in regaining my confidence in my writing ability. Medium has also broadened my creative abilities in storytelling. Since, I have started writing here, I’ve explored my talents in photography and rediscovered cinematography.

Skywriting – 081820231422

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I’m unsure if I always enjoyed the clouds, but I know I loved the rain. Lately, in my part of the world, cloudy skies are normal. So, when I walked out and saw clear skies, I should have known there was going to be some shit this morning.

There I was standing in front of the vending machine trying to decide what salty, sugary, or this might be good, but tastes like poo, treat I going to get. This is when happened….

“What?…What?” exclaimed the strange person walking up the stairs.

I have a blank look on face, because my caffiene levels are in the red. I’ve learned from eperience not to respond without being properly caffienated.

“First thing in tbe morning you at the dog – gone vending machine.”

I stand dumbfounded at her choice of vernacular. A young person using “Dog-Gone” tells me she spent time with her elders which pleases me. She went on with some indiscript chattering. I was only make out a word here and there.

Then another one appeared with a plate in her hands. Mistakenly I did the following.

“What is this?” I asked with a puzzled look on my face.

“It’s healthy, now eat it!” says the sassy short person.

Here’s the funny thing about sassy short people they believe they whatever the hell the want and we just have to take it. Now, what’s about these two sassy individuals is they are just a millimeter from being stubby. I’ve dealt with stubby folks on occasion, they’re not so bad ; pleasant even. So close!

Now, to complete this motley quartet is a regular sized person. Now, she sat there like she had no idea what was going on. Ya’ll know I wasn’t what they was selling no even a little bit. The shit was adorable; coochie-coo!

I defended myself by saying something outlandish; to only be met with walking away giggling with one hand waving in the air.

“I can’t …I can’t!” they muttered in unison all walking away in different directions.

The meal was tasty, but the love behind it was amazing.

Whispers of the Dark #10

POETRY – HUMOR

Assholes are a dime of a dozen
Good people are rare
Take it from me
Another Asshole

PACE Yourselves

Create an emergency preparedness plan.

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

I have created several EPs over the years, personal and professional. I have inspected several on a professional setting. Through all of that, I discovered a method that has worked the best for me.

  • P – Primary
  • A – Alternate
  • C – Contingency
  • E – Emergency

As I work through the different items necessary to accomplish the overall goal. I used this to ensure I had most of my bases covered. I hope this helps you guys as much as it has me.

Skywriting – 081720230806

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

The clouds are thick this morning. It puts me in the mind of the old saying, “A blanket of clouds.” They look as if there are several blankets one on top of another. It’s one of those days where you just want to roll over and catch some more sleep. Not a lot, just another hour or three.

I was picking up breakfast at the local grocery and I saw a woman shopping gingerly. She ended up at the chekout before I did. She had a bottle of wine and crackers. I chuckled as I walked out the door. I sat in my pickup looking at my receipt, my items came to $19.87. It was the year I stepped into madness.

My Unspoken Charge

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

PROSE – REFLECTION

On a table, items are lined up in a certain order. These are the things I take with me each day. The items on the table may change for time to time depending on what is in store for the day. However, there are certain things that I carry regardless.

To answer this question, I suppose line them up; spread them out, look at them individually making a determination of their importance. Then perhaps them in some sort of order. I’m not sure which sorting method I’m going to use, but that’s not what important at the moment.

If I know myself, I’d like to think I got a pretty good handle of who I am. Though I admit I surprise myself now and again. I’d asking the question, “How did things get this way?”

Now I know the purpose of every item on the table and why its there. My question of how? Is simply an exercise of gaining the understanding how these items became important enough to make to the table. If you look at it, something as simple of a yes or no could have altered the way I do things.

An altered decision of undefined place in time, could possibly alter the items on the table. A black pen could be blue, wristwatch instead of pocket watch, etc,. It’s becomes clear to me, none of the items on the table are that important. For they could be changed by answers to questions I didn’t know to ask.

So, what is my most important thing to carry with me daily?

My humanity

No matter what goes on, I still must be truest form of myself.

Be decent and kind,

Despite…
what is said
what is done

Despite …
what is felt
what is not

Despite…
pain
fear
hate
torment
agony

Joy

Yes, there’s joy
Love as well
Grace, compassion

I must stand and remain steady

This is my unspoken charge

They Shape the World …

What profession do you admire most and why?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

When I think about the professions that make a difference, what comes to mind are teachers, doctors, and stuff. However, I attended a concert last week where the lead singer took a moment to recognize the personnel who spent all day in the heat setting up everything. I liked that a lot.

So, this morning, I took a different approach to answering this question. I decided to choose a profession that is seldom heard or talked about. As I began thinking about the question, I realized there are far too many unspoken professions. So let’s do this…

If you work behind the scenes or rarely get credit for the things you do.

This Bud for you …

Respect

So many prominent people get their moment in the spotlight. It’s time for the people who shape the world to get some props. I’ve been one of you my whole life. So were my parents and most of my friends. So, this tribute is genuine.

The State of things … right now

this is how I’m feeling …

I can hear my therapist voice in my head….

“Let’s use our coping skills, hmm.”

I remain silent, but think, “Our? What do you mean, our?”

“Let’s review our mantra.”, “One?”

Still silent, “You’re so fired.”

Is it Really that Simple?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

For months, I’ve refused to acknowledge ownership of the feral cats in my house. Yes, I realize what I just said, allow me to explain. It happened several months ago when one showed up pregnant looking all cuddly and whatnot.

There is a considerable amount more to the story and I tried to end plain the particulars to my lady. She gracious listened and asked the following question.

“Do you feed them?”

“Yes.”

“Then they are your cats.”

I started to protest, because their obvious factors she wasn’t considering. Her eyebrow raised, she gave the look that every woman gives their man when he being ridiculous. I relented and went to pick up some kibble. They really love the salmon and rice stuff.

Is it really that simple?

This is beyond my control …

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

PROSE – INTROSPECTION

I completely misread this question. So, I spent the last few hours formulating an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked. I’m taken back a bit by my actions. I’ve ranted at great length about people’s responses about the things I say. Especially when they miss something or don’t allow me to finish my statement. To their defense, I’ll admit there are times I can be a tad loquacious. So, tuning me out may be a survival mechanism. I get it.

Over a decade ago, the trend was every writer needed a blog or website if they were serious about writing. I haven’t met any writer who wasn’t serious about writing. No matter the degree of skill or dedication, no writer wants to be excused for not being serious about the craft. I suppose there may be some. I haven’t met them, and I’m okay with that.

If you’re still reading, I know it’s taking a minute to get to whatever point I’m trying to make, but I’ll get there as soon as I can. I think the problem resides in the fact I wasn’t aware it needed to be anything more than what it is. However, now that it’s been brought up, let me work my way through this sticky wicky.

Now, I’m going to give a bit of history of Khan before he was Khan. If that even a thing? I dated a girl once, and I believed she was my girlfriend. I say I believe because when you’re a teenager, the girls set your relationship status. You have no say in the matter; even if you had something to say, I doubt they actually pay attention.

There was a lot of talking on the phone and promises made with the purest intentions. If I’m not mistaken, love might have been used on occasion. It was all quite innocent, really. Cute even, TV movie cute. I wrote her a letter, we did those things back then. We wrote down our thoughts and feelings, put them in an envelope, and mailed them. Then, waited on pins and needles, hoping their response was something favorable.

Her response wasn’t ideal by any stretch of my imagination, but what it did do was unlock Khan. For this, I’m indebted.

As it relates to the question…

What change or impact do I want my blog to make? This can’t be my focus. The change or impact of my blog has very little to do with me. My focus must be this…

My focus must be to write these feelings, ramblings, and rants. I’ve committed myself to sharing them. Their impact is beyond my control.

I am Mangus Khan, and these are my memoirs.

The Memoirs of Madness.

Skywriting – 081320231100

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

It’s been a while since I felt like writing; it’s been a heavy couple of weeks. The kind that can be summed up in a single word, “Damn.” Said in a whisper with a shake of the head while rubbing your brow, as if that action ever really does anything. Everything seems to be gnawing you all at once. It’s like being pulled into a thousand different directions, but you’re standing still.

Wishing this were true…

While popping off the lid of the carton of Butter Pecan, you pause, thinking it might be a bit early…

Who gives a shit … it’s 11 am

The Simple Life

List 30 things that make you happy.

PROSE – DAILY PROMPT /SLIGHT RANT

I read this question and begin to laugh. I can’t remember the last time I needed 30 things to make me happy. I’ve overheard conservation dealing with this subject, where the overall opinion if you couldn’t name a certain ridiculous number things you weren’t a happy person.

As I walked away, feeling joy for dodging a bullet. Being assimilated into the Borg, has been a goal of mine. Yet, I knew I couldn’t name the required amount of things. What did this say about me? Am I not a happy person?

Okay, I admit I’m a bit of a frowner, but come on! A sad sack?

So I came up with a list for various topics I’ve heard people talking about.

  • Top 5 Jobs regardless of the time period
  • The 5 Best Albums of 1973
  • Top 5 Tombstone inscriptions

Yes, I know those list are ridiculous, however there was a time in my life where I considered these might important to know at some point. Yet, I find them no more than zany than needing 30 items that make you happy. I concede it appears to avoiding the question for some reason. I’m not I assure you.

  • Life – appreciating all the things has to offer and doing my best to wisdom from them.
  • Love – isn’t there a song explaining this one
  • Music – One of the magnificent about life is music.
  • A good pen – There are few things better than a good pen. Yes, I have a preferred rotation of writing instruments fitting this criteria.
  • A proper notebook – This has proven time and time again more difficult than it should. Due to this, I make my own.
    • Spiral so it will lay flat.
    • Hard cover at least on the back
    • 28lbs paper preferred, 24 lbs in a pinch.

Now, I’m aware that 28lbs paper officially makes me bougie. Whatever.

I live a simple, a few frills life. Or at least these are things the things I tell myself as attempt justifying to myself the expensive of a new piece of tech.

Skywriting – 080220231551

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

NEVER, change or comprise who you are for the sake of another. They never respect you for it. More than likely, they will lose respect for you. View you as weak and treat you accordingly. Stay no matter what, true to the person you know yourself to be.

If they cannot respect the person you are? Then, do the responsibility thing … escort them to the door and say bye!

~thank you for reading~

Skywriting – 072720231236

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

I haven’t been sleeping, my latest bout with insomnia. I’m sure there’s a reason. However, too figure out what.

So it goes …

~thank you for reading~

Snap, Crackle, Pop

What’s your go-to comfort food?

PROSE – REFLECTION

I’ve known by many names in my lifetime. Some flattering, others not so much. However, I say I earned every one of them.

There is nothing better to forgot the things that ail you than a morsel from the gods.

I was enjoying these long before 1985

For health reasons, I can’t enjoy these like I once could, but I can remember the gooey. I can remember the mmm. And its enough.

Bruce Lee Saved My Life

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

PROSE – REFLECTION/INTROSPECTION

For years, I acted a certain way because I thought that was the expectation. Sadly, I discovered no matter how you act or what you do, people will complain about something. By my rationale, if they’re going to complain anyway, you might as well be true to yourself as much as possible. I concede there are situations where being yourself is not the appropriate action. If you have no idea what I’m referring to, be thankful, and you are blessed.

Typically, health is addressed with a proper diet and exercise. I agree with this mindset overall. However, some things cause me concern. I feel every diet and exercise program should tailored to the individual. Yes, there are tried and true methods, yet we are different. So why should we attempt to place everyone in the same categories? I think we should be mindful of these things, developing a program for ourselves or others.

I tend to focus on the mental aspect of things: mind, body, and spirit philosophy. I have found consistently over several decades if I work to maintain a proper mindset, everything else falls into place. This state of being isn’t automatic; it’s consistent enough to keep using. I admit I fail miserably at times. We are human, right?

I remember attending the matinee and watching Bruce Lee do his thing. This fueled my newfound obsession with the martial arts. I learned about Jim Kelly. He was in one of Bruce’s movies. I was blown away. The whole “Black guy” doing karate thing. Then we had that song “Kung-fu Fighting,” just finished me off.

I never saw a video for this song until today…wow

What I learned from my studies is to exercise patience and restraint. I’ve considered this concept to be one of the keys to success in life. I found it works despite your social-economic standing. Over the years, I have heard a multitude of phrases or slogans covering various aspects of life. However, I have found patience and restraint provided the most significant measure of success overall. I am a self-proclaimed knucklehead and, at times, a jackass, so this hasn’t been the most effortless journey for me. Yet, I keep trying.

In conclusion, I feel a person’s mental and physical health are connected. I have to remember that. It’s such a simple thing. When I think about the numerous times I have lost sight of that, I feel idiotic. Yet, I maintain faith in this practice.

Skywriting – 07272023111132

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS / RECOLLECTION

During my daily reading this morning, I came across an opening line.
It evokes a random memory
It unearthed a forgotten emotion

Kiss me without stopping

K. Hartless’ s Yard Sale of Thoughts

Yes, I remember the first time I saw my beloved.
I swallowed a delicious urge to kiss her

Kiss me
Yeesss!
slow and deep
in a serious manner

Kiss me
without boundaries
Without pretense

Surrender to hunger
Give way to passion


A knock on the door
”Mr. Khan, your 1 o’clock is here.”
I have a perplexed look
“I know she’s early, but she says it can’t wait.”
I nod

Now, I swallow a primal urge to shiver

~thank you for reading~

You Know There are Such things …

What are your future travel plans?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

I have no future plans for traveling; I have entirely too much work to do. This place will fall apart without me. I said something similar to that to my lady during a conversation about me taking a break. Mind you, I was snapping over the slightest things and just an all-out pain in the ass. Now, my lady isn’t above giving me a good dose of what for if it calls for it. But that day, she simply reiterated her previous statement but put a little stank on it.

I caught the tone but went into a whole thing about my old truck not being road trip worthy. I thought it would end the conversation, and I could return to preparing for the next day’s work. Looking back, I wonder why I ever thought that reason was fly. It’s not like we started dating and we ridiculously understanding about everything. Nope, we’ve been at this for a while, and then I received the patented, often lamented, you’re a jackass look.

Her response was simple, “You know there are such things as rental cars, right?”

Whispers of the Dark – 072520230947

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

It took me over fifty years
to get to this moment.
Some think I’m crazy to continue trying
The ones who quit are somewhere
lying & crying justifying
the stories they feed themselves
I guess that’s okay on some level
As long as they lie like they mean it

~thank you for reading~

FOTD – 07252023

PHOTOGRAPHY – SHORT FICTION

Yesterday, I shared a flower that survived a recent storm in my town. I’still moved by its beauty and will to survive. Now, I’m actually aware of its species, sweet! Thanks, Cee.

For some reason, I didn’t consider any other area being effected by the storm. I figured my community alone had suffered the wrath. I really don’t know why I don’t that. I had some business to conduct outside my region, I noticed the path of the storm. It affected much more than I realized. People didn’t have power just like us. People were shook emotionally as well, like we were.

I stopped at a rest area during my return home, that’s when I heard something peculiar.

“Really! You gonna just walk right by me without taking a look?

“Huh?”

“HUH! That’s right here for my health. I survive a storm and everything.” The voice said.

The voice was agitated, but delicate. I paused and looked around. My attention rested on this flower .

It’s color was captivating. I stood there in bewildered wondering how I could have missed the beauty. I decided to take a closer look.

Uncontrollably I uttered, “You so beautiful!” Her response, “Thank You”

Then I heard another voice say, “What about me, I survived too!” I turned a saw another beautiful survivor, but that’s a story for another day.

A Book a Day Keeps Madness Away

What do you listen to while you work?

PROSE – CHALLENGE RANT

Typically, while working at my day job. I listen to a book whether it be a short story, novel, or essay. I do this to assist in practicing my active listening skills. I listen to both fiction and non-fiction. I pay attention to the story, plot, and structure.

This habit also assists in writing. On breaks I sit and close my eyes. I try to create an image in my mind. I’ve found in incidents where I can’t create in my mind. I stopped the book and tried to create the scene on paper. This is a writing exercise I’ve found useful in my own writing.

I read somewhere if you can’t see; delete it. Since I started working on screenplays several years, I found advice to be quite accurate. Happy writing everyone. If you’re a different sort of creative type leave your techniques in the comments below. I’m interested in learning new things.

~thank you for reading~

Question of the Day – 07242023

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Questions:

Can I be strong? & Can I be trusted?

Thought Process:

I was told, telling someone to trust you is a plea of a guilty soul. I’m unsure if I agree with this statement, but it has always stuck with lingering the darkness of my mind. As if it was reminders of my demons I created and haunt me daily. You know what talking about. Most folks know as regrets.

I’m guilty of many things and my regrets are numerous. Yet, I wonder if I’m strong enough to bear the responsibility of my guilt and the reality of the unintended consequences of my actions. No matter which way direction the pendulum swings, the reality of the situation rings true. It’s cost is a heavy one.

Answer:

I’m going to have to be.

Skywriting – 072420230743

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

The pulled me the arms of my vision. I say vision because it felt than a dream. Nana always said if you can remember your dream, it was a premonition of what was to come.

I hope so

~thank you for reading~

Coffee, curse, repeat

What are your daily habits?

PROSE – RANT

I’ve lived long enough to develop and fine-tune my daily routine. I’ve lived long enough to have grown tired of said routine. So, you spice it up by changing your brand or flavor of coffee. Get your muffin from a different bakery. There are so many acceptable variations to the daily grind.

However, as we fine-tune things, we discover certain things that are acceptable variations under any circumstances. An example of most things concerning my cat, Sophie. Sophie really isn’t the hissing kind, so when she does, there’s trouble in Demark, as some folks say. Then she typically gives Ghost, the neighborhood cat, and swat with a calibrated hiss for effect.

Soph’s is a little perturbed because I switched to bargain cat food to save a little coin, but dealing with grief wasn’t worth it. I made matters worse by switching to a Jamicain blend of coffee. As it brewed, she sniffed the air, gave me a short hiss, and whined. So I dumped the pot and made her favorite.

You’re probably wondering why I would dump a perfectly good pot of coffee. I didn’t care much myself. I picked it up in the clearance basket right after I thought I caught a deal on the cat kibble. It appears I missed on both accounts. So, being quite pleased with myself, not, I belt out a healthy dose of expletives, capping it off with, “That’s that bullshit!” I continued muttering something under my breath, what I’m not sure, I’m always running my mouth, and no telling what passed these lips.

We do this routine every day. Coffee, curse, and repeat


The Darkness behind the Light

What bothers you and why?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

In this world, everything is shiny and new in 5 easy steps. It is hard to see or understand what is real and what is fake. People can flash an award-winning smile without even thinking about it. It is almost second nature. To be clear, I’m not referring to the genuinely happy people. They are special and shouldn’t be confused with the others.

I’m also not talking about the people who we know are obviously fake. They are easily spotted; they have plastic smiles and spew prattle like its a lifestyle as if they get a few dollars off for the crap that comes out of their mouths. Only to be recognized at the end of the banquet hosted at HoJo’s. I heard it isn’t bad; the continental breakfast is to die for. I hear they have real eggs and fresh pastries.

I’m talking about the people we wouldn’t suspect. The people we trusted got to know and had over for cards. They have babysat your children and you theirs. They have been such a positive light in your life. If anyone were to say different, you have words. However, there are times when you discover something unnerving about them. Something so unsettling it’s simply unbelievable. Cognitive dissonance comes to mind when thinking about this scenario.

Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. People tend to seek consistency in their attitudes and perceptions, so this conflict causes unpleasant feelings of unease or discomfort.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-cognitive-dissonance-2795012#

I’m bothered when I see the darkness. I’m better than that.

Consider the Source

On what subject(s) are you an authority?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT asked this question earlier in the week. I would have a list of things I’m an authority. I would have said it with a level of confidence, leaving you without doubt of my ability to perform or know whatever I said. Good thing I wasn’t asked earlier I’ve never been a fan of lying to people.

First, I would have rattled off being to your passions. Explore them with enthusiasm. Don’t hold back for a moment. When it’s all said and done, you can you did it right. Some would include having no regrets; they can shut up now. If you have no regrets, you ain’t doing right. Now, cut that shit out. It’s okay to be truthful; it’s okay to be authentic.

Secondly, Love Hard. I mean, give it everything you got, full throttle with 1000hp, baby! If you don’t understand the metaphor, put simply, if you love someone? Mean, that shit! Don’t half-ass a second. Trust me; you’ll regret it even if they break your heart and grind you into the sand, blow granules in your face. You will know you have done it right.

Alas, the question was posed much later. Although, I still firmly believe everything I previously stated. Damn straight! Every word! However, I’m no longer an authority in such matters. As of late, I’ve unwittingly become an authority on disappointment.

More precisely, the disappointment of others. I see their looks as I pass by. I hear the contempt in their voices when they utter my name. It isn’t something I set out to do. It just seem to happen.

That’s how it goes …

~thank you for reading~

Want to know Something Crazy?

PROSE – REFLECTION

There was a time recently when people asked if this was the beginning of our extinction. I was unsure, but I listened. I’m not an alarmist or anything, nor do I believe they were either. However, one couldn’t ignore what was happening around us.

A local playground during the pandemic

So, the world goes back to normal somewhat. We resume our usual activities as best we can. No more caution tape, and families are filling the playground. Laughter filled the air, assholes resurfaced, and street prophets stood on the corners, dropping their unorthodox wisdom. Yeah, everything’s right in the world. It has been this way for a couple of years. The attitude is we made it through the worst of it.


Two weeks ago, I sat here in the dark. I sit here not by choice but by circumstance. A tornado touched down in my area, destroying all in its path. Broken branches lined the streets, and power was lost. They are still clearing up the branches, but they are almost done. The last of my friends got their power restored Tuesday. I was lucky by comparison my power was out for three days.

The rest of the city was far worst than this

The physical damage was the easy part, but the effects of the emotional damage lingered. I still haven’t seemed to regain my rhythm in writing with the blog. But I need it. It was one of the few things that remained steady.

Whispers of the Dark #9

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I’m losing hope
but I know I can never give up

I must maintain my faith
in the Master and the ones I love

I know they don’t have faith in me
I understand why they have

I pray to the Master that one day
the one I love will gain faith in me

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #6

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Last night I dreamt of the innocence of writing
before the hoopla, deadlines, word counts, etc.,
when we hurriedly crafted sentences
in chalk on sidewalks before they got washed away in the rain.
Good luck today;
write clean, true, & honest ….it’s 5 am

~thank you for reading~

Peace, Love, and Understanding

Daily writing prompt
What do you think gets better with age?

So many things flood my mind when thinking about this question. I literally sat down and made a list. After laughing about the ridiculous nature of the things I listed. I remembered how I was as a young man. How every little thing pissed me off. The monster and I had reached puberty. It’s bad enough to deal with teenage emotion on its own. However, I had an accidental passenger, think Venom, from the comics and movies.

MTV had become a thing, and many evenings were spent listening to the music of the time. One of these nights, I heard a song that changed my life. Yes, I know how much that sounds like a cliche, but I’m serious. Elvis Costello was on the screen doing his thing. I’ve been a fan ever since. He accompanied me on every deployment. His music has gotten me through some tough spots. What does this have to do with the question?

The song that changed my life is “What’s so funny about (Peace, Love, and Understanding).” I understand it more and more as I get older. It’s not that the song has gotten better or changed; I did. I realize I have more peace, love, and understanding as I get older. I hope society gains more of this than I did.

Skywriting – 071420230811

PROSE – ENTICEMENT

It wasn’t supposed to be this way, not even close. What was she doing here? She knows the rules. Absolutely no distractions while I’m drafting a novel. But I was glad she was here. I needed to see her. I longed for her touch. Fuck that; rules are rules. Scam! I wanted to say but couldn’t.

Her gaze, her movement, and her presence were everything I needed. Every strife has begun to dissipate from being. My racing thoughts calmed, gently flowing and controllable. My God, where has she been? The hell with the rules. Finally, I was able to mutter.

“I going to need you to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Being you.”

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #5

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I heard a whisper and chronicled its truth.
It spoke of the space between; that pause, that moment.
The blissful innocence, the delicious taste, the insatiable hunger,
the… sigh. I open my notebook … it’s 4 am.

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #8

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

I loved her with all I had
It wasn’t enough, not even close

I thought I was good to her
But I wasn’t

If you want to know the truth of it?
I was fully aware of who and what I am.

I’ve been

weighed

measured

and found

wanting

If this wasn’t enough

I discovered I’m also cruel
For wasting her time.

~thank you for reading~

The Bionic Kid who wanted to be a Gymnast

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

PROSE – CREATIVE NON-FICTION

I’ve been under the blade a few times in my short time on this side of the veil. I’m not precisely accident-prone but in the words of Pop. “If you gonna do anything, do it right.” I might as well scream at the top of my lungs, “Yes sir!” like those military folks in boot camp. You know, as you see on the shows.

Today, I’d like to direct your attention 1976. I was a wee lad. I hadn’t graduated from Wrigley’s to Bazooka Joe yet. Col. Steve Austin was on the airwaves doing fantastic with his bionic parts. So, I ran around making sounds heard every time he used his bionics.

I thought this was so cool

As it happens, 1976 was the year Kurt Thomas competed in the Summer Olympics. I watched that guy do his thing, and I was floored. He was so good; my grandma let me watch him every time he was on the TV. Now this was a woman who firmly believed in children going outside to play. I can only think of one exception; rain “cause you’d catch cold.”

You see that? Badass

So, at the start of the school year, I decided to show off my new gymnast skills. These skills comprised doing a back flip off the swing set and crossing the creek on a fallen tree. Now this didn’t qualify me to become a gymnast by any stretch, but by God, not a soul was going to me any different.

In gym class, I decided to jump off the top of the jungle gym. The first time was a disaster; I didn’t nail the landing. I fell back, can you believe it? Just shameful. The second attempt was perfect dismount; since I failed the first time, I went for broke. I did a triple somersault with a one-half twist. That’s right, un-huh, I was showing out. Perfect execution. I nailed the landing. Things went to hell from there.

Well, I broke my hip. I can only remember fragments of that period, but I can remember hollering as they rolled me to surgery, “I don’t want a bionic leg!”, “I don’t want to be the Six Million Dollar Man.” I ended up in traction, then a body cast. Good times for all, especially my mother because had to change my bedpan.

My Monster Side

What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT/ DAILY PROMPT

I constantly think the monster I reside within is in control of every decision I make. I’m aware this doesn’t make sense to most, but I will my best to have make sense. Before I’ve blogged about being my monster’s prisoner. However, in that post, I wasn’t exactly truthful. I didn’t exactly tell it straight. I played with words rearranged them for the sake of cleverness or for the sake of attempting of being cool.

The truth can be the hardest hammer known. Or touch with the gentliest touch. The gentle touch, part is something I read about somewhere. I’d would like to think it exists, but unfortunately it hasn’t been my experience.

Today, I realized something about myself. Accepting the truth of is one of the most painful things I’ve experinced in awhile. I’d like to walk upon a Djinn, so they could grant me three wishes. However, I only need one. I’d wish I could someone worthy of respect and be treated with dignity.

Yet, I know it. doesn’t work that way. I can’t rid of my monster side. Nor, can I even hid it. For it’s all that I am. I would gladly surrender it for the sake of harmony

In the Wee Hours #4

POETRY-RANDOM THOUGHT

Doubt casts a long shadow,
I don’t know if I can escape.
Paralyzed as he whispers lies in my ears.
I recite the writer’s prayer until I feel its courage.
Courage is all we need to hang on … it’s 4 am

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #7

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

It’s like I can’t hear the rhythm or sway to the melody of a verse…
yet somehow, my fingers begin to tap, and my pen moves…
I sigh, then smile because I know the madness is flying again.

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #6

POETRY -RANDOM THOUGHTS

In the silence,
I hear the growl of the demon inside
Come one all
into the splinters of my remaining sanity

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #3

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

The lights flickered,
and the room is chilled.
I resist an urge to shiver.

A wraith from the hollows appears.

Wraith: “Come”
Me:” Can we talk”
A portal opens.
Me:” Crap”

Good luck, everyone!… I step through the portal … it’s 5 am

~thank you for reading~

All my Heroes are Ghosts

Who is your favorite historical figure?

It’s sometimes hard to come up with one name. To narrow down contributions to humanity to a single name. I have categories where people of history fell into. It’s an organizational thing, something I picked up from watching Sesame Street.

This is where it started. Now everything is a category. So to answer this question without driving myself completely crazy, I’ve chosen the writing category. Now my favorite across all forms, genres, and types of writing is Gwendolyn Brooks.

I wrote a post about her before. Here is the Link

~thank you for reading~

Hello! How Rude of Me.. My Name is …

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

PROSE – SHORT FICTION /MAYBE?

Allow me to start here. Most of you have gotten to know Mangus Khan. It’s a little much, I know, at the start, but it kind of rolls off the tongue once you get used to it. However, I feel it may be time to reveal my true identity. My name is …

Before we move forward, let me provide some context to avoid confusion. I am an immortal.

As an immortal, I have lived for centuries and witnessed many events in history. I have gained knowledge and experience beyond what any mortal can imagine. I can see the way you’re looking at me. If I were you, I would looking at me in the same manner. I suppose you have watched some of those movies attempting to discuss immortality. No? let us assume you have seen at least one and allow me assure you my life has been that glamourous.

However, my immortality comes with a price. I have watched friends die. The chap the Raminez character was based on, he too, was an immortal. He loved life more than anyone my path has crossed. I was present the day … well, he crossed over. I died that day as well. You see, when I came back from the darkness I found my friend headless leaning against a stump. It was then I knew I was destined to be alone.

Yet, I was blessed and fell in love that year. Our love was forbidden and certainly unwise. When she crossed over I was broken. Yet, I remain unchanged. well at least outwardly. It can be a lonely existence at times, but I have learned to appreciate the beauty and wonder of life despite its fleeting nature and shattered heart.

Throughout my many years, I have seen the world change in countless ways. I have witnessed wars and revolutions, the rise and fall of civilizations, and the evolution of technology and culture. I have also seen the best and worst of humanity, from acts of kindness and compassion to unspeakable acts of cruelty and violence.

Despite all of this, I have remained a mere observer of history, a passive witness to the events that have shaped our world. It is only recently that I have decided to again take a more active role in shaping the course of history, using my knowledge and experience to make a positive impact on the world.

And that is where you come in. As an assistant, I am here to help you achieve your goals and make a difference in the world. Whether you are an individual seeking personal growth and fulfillment, or an organization working to make a positive impact on society, I am here to support you every step of the way.

So, let us work together to achieve greatness and make the most of our time in this world. What can I assist you with today?

Eastbound and Down

How do you practice self-care?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

There is something about taking a drive. A full tank of gas packed lunch, and your camera and notebook. It’s a sense of freedom; at least, that’s the phrase I’ll use as I sit here talking to you. I suppose it’s as good as any, to really explain this feeling I get when taking a drive. It’s a chance to explore, clear your mind, and, just for a moment, set aside the stresses of everyday life. And having your camera and notebook with you allows you to capture the magic.

There’s no better way to appreciate the beauty of nature and the world around you than to take a leisurely drive, at least I don’t know if any. Maybe one or two others come to mind if I think on it a spell. But, nothing beats a drive. Whether through winding country roads, along the coast, or through the mountains, a scenic drive can be a truly unforgettable experience. Let us not forget, a drive through the city after dark. Another side of life seems to come alive in the night; after dark. One must be careful you may see things you may never have known existed.

But it’s not just about the destination; it’s also about the journey. Taking a drive can be a chance to reflect on your life, think about your goals and dreams, and enjoy the present moment. It’s a form of self-care that can help reduce stress, improve your mood, and boost your creativity.

In fact, many writers, artists, and photographers have used driving to inspire their work. The freedom of the open road allows them to escape the distractions of everyday life and focus on their craft. And with a camera and notebook, they can capture their thoughts and ideas as they come to them.

But even if you’re not a writer or artist, taking a drive can still be a valuable experience. It’s a chance to unplug from technology, connect with nature, and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. And with the flexibility of driving, you can make the experience your own. You can stop at a roadside diner for a classic burger and fries, take a detour to visit a local attraction, or simply park by a scenic overlook and watch the world go by.

So next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, why not take a drive and see where the road takes you? You never know what new experiences, sights, and insights you may discover. Perhaps, a fond memory or recollection will be unlocked evoking a smile.

In the Wee Hours #2

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Churn is soothing.
Crickets chirp,
dancing by a nearby light,
and the night air lingers on my lips.
Slumber sits beside me, rocking.
We’re together, yet so far apart.
Together rocking and enjoying the stillness….it’s 2 am.

~thank you for reading~

Java and Verse #5

Canin Tension Analysis

An important approach in developing your ability to apply tension in your writing. It is by reading other types of writing. One suggestion for doing this is to grab a short story or two. They are usually small in size, and you examine them quickly without investing a great deal of time. I suggest you read them slowly, noting the elements of tension. It is a good possibility that you will see different approaches to formulas that interest you. You might be inspired enough to develop a few different approaches. 

In the first paragraph, we are introduced to a character obviously not pleased with his life. We observe that he is somewhat detached from life. Yet, he notices certain things that remind him that there is more to life. But he hasn’t had the opportunity to experience them to the fullest. Here we have the foundation of the character’s desire.


Next, Canin provides information about the character in a few paragraphs that firmly establishes the character’s desire. We discover he is a third-year medical student, which explains the exhaustion and the long hours. It provides us with a bit of insight into why the character has such a profound sense of detachment. As well as an explanation of why his girlfriend still has two unpacked suitcases and a lump on the other side of the bed. 


In the remainder of the piece, we discover the dangerous elements. First, we face the danger of contamination in the operating room. Something that remains looming throughout the remainder of the tale. We also see that character begins to face the possibility of losing his mind. Either from fatigue or longing to be somewhere. Something that he struggles his until contamination rears its icky head.


The character realizes he is not crazy and that an ant has caused mayhem. The situation is resolved quickly. And they go back to work as if nothing happened. I suppose it is a message of how life really is. We can want something or be somewhere else, but we have to maintain the tasks at hand. Overall I enjoyed the creative way Canin took a mundane routine and made it enjoyable. He did so by imagery to describe things that typically would be overlooked. 

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #5

POETRY – HUMOR

I’m tragically aware we are losing the war of self-absorption.
A constant bombardment of the idea we need to bathe in vanity.
Worn so tightly it rubs against our skin.
A constant reminder we aren’t beautiful enough;
we need beard dye, smoother skin, and ninja bullet.

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #1

POETRY – INSOMNIA

Slumber whispers in my ear
as she runs her fingers through my whiskers.
I love it when she does that.
Sleep creeps in.
The muse slaps my face, “Where are my words.”
The shit just got real …. it’s 5 am.

~thank you for reading~

The Blabbering Idiot

POETRY – HUMOR

Allow me to introduce myself
I’m a blabbering idiot
it’s nice to meet you.
Then I crack the mirror.

~thank you for reading~

Can’t Get Enough That…

Daily writing prompt
Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?

Breakfast Cereal takes me back to the mixing bowl of cereal.

This was my jam, hands down.


The Stories We Hide from

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

Once, I wondered what journals were for
What do we write in them..?
We tell the stories of pain
we can never speak.

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #4

POETRY –

If I thought you could love me
If I thought you really can
I will tell you my secret
I have always been your man

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #3

POETRY

Is this what you wanted?
A piece of me …
You better get what you need.
While I bleed

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #1

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

She stares into the darkness, in a fog of stale cigarettes and drunken sweet nothings, wondering where everything went wrong. She just wanted to make movies people talked about. Now she does what she needs to survive.

A Glimpse into Madness

Here is a glimpse of my world in response to Pensitivity101“s prompt

Here are this week’s questions:

  1. If you could reinvent yourself, how would you like to be? I wouldn’t change much about myself. Each success and failure has been a learning experience I’ve found them useful in a variety of situations. However, I think it would be nice to live without the nightmares.
  2. Would you like to be a pet in your household? Yes, of course, I believe pets make us better. They can be messy, but the emotional support they provide is crucial. At least, it’s that way for me.
  3. How many house moves have you had as an adult? I have moved a lot as an adult. A few countries and several states. I’m going to guess and say, maybe 15 times.
  4. What was your favourite home? I don’t have a favorite home was whereever my wife and children were. It’s literally that simple for me. 

Gratitude:
It costs nothing to be nice. You may even be remembered for it.

Pulling the Pen

Daily writing prompt
How do you want to retire?

SHORT FICTION – PROSE/LIGHT RANT

Harold Shea is an ordinary fellow, as fellows go. He has no grand stories about this girl or that girl. He is a simple chap who eats tuna on toasted rye. Harold and I are clerks at the Ministry of Useless Facts and Random Memories. A person becomes a clerk if they have a knack for remembering and cataloging trivial information. Our job is to sift through old documents and archives, searching for forgotten tidbits of knowledge that may one day prove useful.

Harold is a diligent worker, and he takes pride in his work. He always arrives early and stays late, poring over old manuscripts and dusty tomes. He has a particular fondness for historical trivia and, from time to time, found regaling his coworker Venus Milo with tales of obscure battles and forgotten rulers.

Despite his unremarkable nature and unassuming demeanor, Harold is a valuable member of our team. Without his tireless efforts, many of the useless facts and random memories that we collect would be lost to the sands of time.

Harold is also a kind and thoughtful person. He is always willing to lend a helping hand to his coworkers. Last week, for instance, one of our colleagues was struggling to find a particular piece of information for a project. Harold spent hours searching through old records until he found what she was looking for. He did all of this without expecting anything in return.

Despite his many admirable qualities, Harold is not without his quirks. For one thing, he can be a bit absent-minded at times. On more than one occasion, he has misplaced important documents or forgotten to submit reports on time. However, his forgetfulness is more than made up for by his enthusiasm and dedication.

Everything changed about six months ago. I came into the office, and everyone was in a tizzy. It isn’t like it was the first time the office was in this state. Harold usually got things in order rather quickly. However today, no Harold. He has never been late a day in thirty years. I tended to the disaster but never took my mind off what could have possibly happened to Harold. Then I was called into the Director’s office.

“Thank you for sorting out that dreadful mess.” said the Director

“It was nothing, Ma’am,” I replied.

“Harold?” She asked. I shrugged and walked out.

After stopping by Harold’s weekly for the next six months, I received a package at the Ministry. The package sat on my desk for another month before I remembered it. When I opened the package, there was a letter from Harold.

Dear Seamus,
I know this package has been sitting on your desk for about a month. I’m well. Venus and I have retired and living in my favorite place. Do you remember? Of course you do, you don’t forget anything. I miss you, ole chap. I haven’t had a decent conversation in months. Perhaps, you can down and keep Venus and me company.

~H

Well, that rascal, I thought. I had no idea that he and Venus had a thing. Why wouldn’t he tell me?

I guess there are a lot of things to consider when you’re thinking about “Pulling the Pen.”

REBLOG: Momoerty’s Latest

Such a powerful and empowering piece. Take a few moments to read this…

Really? I can’t remember what I had for lunch.

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

The only thing I can remember about my childhood reading is the name of two books. Surely I read more; however, their titles escape me presently.

Encyclopedia Brown – Boy Detective (1963)

Though I can’t read anything significant about the book, I can remember my friends and me running around trying to solve mysteries. We had little notebooks filled with ciphers and observations. It was all quite innocent, really, perhaps a little comical even.


The Westing Game (1978)

I can’t recall whether or not I ever finished reading this book, but I remember enjoying the experience. Recently, I considered rereading the book to satisfy the gap in my memory. I’ve been thinking of revisiting some books from the past. I wonder if they will have the same effect they previously had.

A Glance

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

you spend a lifetime
trying to be something
a meaningful entity
you lie to yourself
you believe in those lies
but the truth comes out
it always does, no matter
how you try to hide it.
it hurts like hell, but you swallow it
yum, may I have another, yum
you are so damn disgusting to look at
they can barely stomach a glance.

~thank you for reading~

Tales of Winter

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

There’s something of the winter

Snowball fights and Snow Angels
playing for hours, we never seemed
to get tired. Never seemed to get cold.
Our mothers told us to come inside
and warm up.

There’s something about the winter

There’s a stillness that comes in the winter night
the sir is crisp, it’s chill prickly
Yet, there’s a peacefulness in the hush
though we not know what lurks in the dark.

There’s something about the winter

~thank you for reading~

ahh, come again?

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

I wasn’t exactly sure what taglines meant. I looked it up and discovered it means catchphrase or slogan. Huh, ain’t that something.

So I asked a few friends what they would consider to be my catchphrase. Of course, when you involve humans everything becomes more complicated than it needs to be. After, listening to them chuckle to countless number of catchphrases I subject to blurt out at any moment. I decided I needed to change the question.

If you were eulogizing me, what phrase could you say that everyone would recognize?

Instantly, everyone I asked this question had the same answer. This confused me, surely I figured I would a bit of variety, right? Nope, they had the same answer. They also said it wasn’t so much what I had to say, but how I said it. It was even suggested that I write out my facial expressions so people could get a visual on the effects.

the number friend response is …

Kick Rocks!

I considered their response and asked, “Ahh, come again?”

Well, Let me See?

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

When it comes to living a good life, there’s really no correct answer to that question. It’s really a subjective matter that depends on the individual. Each individual defines what they consider a good life and what it takes to live it.

It seems like it’s a made-up phrase. A slogan found on a t-shirt or in a fortune cookie. As I sit here writing about this subject and you reading it, does this fit your definition of living a good life? Well, that’s up to you, isn’t it? It certainly feels good writing about it.

My Monster’s Prisoner

I’ve always been held to a higher standard. I’ve never been allowed to release the monster inside. Unbeknownst to the masses, their actions feed him, and he’s full. Due to the fact others don’t live by the standards they set. So, I sit here trapped in a case. For I’m my monster’s prisoner.

~thank you for reading~

Me Scared? You Better Watch Your Mouth!

What fears have you overcome and how?

I’ve spent most of my life conquering fear; at least, I thought so. As a child, we are taught to be tough and not be afraid of anything.

“Are you chicken?”

“What you yella?

Phrases like these quickly appear in my memory when I think of fear. I remember I wanted to be brave, strong, and courageous. For the most part, I feel I accomplished it on some level. I followed the rules and worked hard, volunteering for every crappy assignment to prove to myself and those around me that I feared nothing. Unwittingly, I was actually making a fool of myself. My friends and superiors felt my actions were to curry favor, not prove my courage.

One day in the barracks, I discovered this when I overheard some soldiers discussing my actions. There I was, staring into the face of what I believed to be my greatest fear, mockery. As this continued, I became numb to everything. My attitude damaged my relationship with my wife and children. I had no idea I was suffering from the effects of PTSD. To be honest, I’d never heard of it. Something I regret, I regret it still.

Tragedy and disappointment became my watchwords. However, facing death from something that didn’t carry a rifle became the catalyst of my new mindset. I realized something. I don’t control anything. Then I asked myself, “Why am I trying to conquer an emotion that innate.” So I began to embrace my fear. I took a decade digging into myself, trying to understand my fear. What I figured out was the following:

Once you begin to understand one’s fear, one realizes there is no shame in being afraid. It protects us; keeps us harm.

So, my greatest fear is I’m afraid of being afraid. How I conquered it? I didn’t. I embraced it. Once I accepted this concept, I began to find peace.

The Day I Lost My Courage

SHORT ESSAY – REFLECTION

I never dreamed I had what it took to become a writer. It was more than the usual self-doubt, more like an evaluation of my skills. My mastery of the language was smattering at best. Writing for myself was the only way to feel the joy I desperately desired. My sketches were rudimentary, but I still enjoyed the process occasionally. However, writing is the thing that gets my motor running, as they say. Even after becoming a widower, I kept writing; I began my first novel within the first month. Over the next three years, I took loss after loss. Though wretched like a tsunami with no quarter, I continued to write.

Despite all this tragedy, I created a poetry show and taught workshops about writing poetry. In many ways, my writing career had begun to take off. Then one day, I felt a little off. It felt different than previous experiences of this sort, so I went to the doctor. I was fully prepared to be told I was suffering from several underlining symptoms of my PTSD. It’s peculiar how once you have a diagnosis of something, it becomes the cause of EVERYTHING that ails you. However, today was different; the physician stated

“although unlikely, but it is probable.”

Really, bro? This is how you’re going to start things off? I screamed in my head but gave a tempered response, “I see; when will the test results return?”

A couple days later, I got the news. A confirmation of something I already knew to be true. The doctor had a lot to say, but the only thing I heard was

~You have Cancer~

He was still talking. Still, I heard nothing. Then, my once-decent vocabulary was reduced to one-syllable words.

“Well damn!”

“Fuck!”

“Okay, Okay”

“Fuck!”

The doctor finally stopped talking and ended the call. There was a numbness that took hold, and I can’t quite remember feeling much after that. It seemed as if this feeling was my permanent state for the next couple of years. Even through everything, I was just numb. I befriended people I would never have and shared things usually kept private.

It was as if I didn’t recognize myself. It was me talking to these strangers and sharing these private things. Something was wrong. It wasn’t just me, for I share the wisdom of their secrets in the lines I write. As if it is my duty or something I can’t quite name or describe, to share what is learned in the space between clarity and confusion.

Even now, years later, I can’t tell what I’ve learned. Perhaps, as I write these lines and others like them, lessons will become clear. It took me years to talk about my experience, years to write, and years to share.

I could talk about this experience forever; perhaps I will share more one day. However, for now, I’ll share my feelings about the news that day. Tell you how it stripped away my courage. Slowly tearing away the essence of my existence. I barely wrote a word after that. Somehow, I felt I’d had this coming. I deserved this fate.

Somedays, I hear the echoes of the haunting memories of that man. I’d love to say I’ve shed its torment and walked around free. That wouldn’t be honest. It took me years to regain my courage. With a bit of luck, I can maintain it. We all know luck is all a person needs if their courage holds.

~thank you for reading~

Why do the simplest things mean so much?

How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?

Typically, in conversations like these, I have a long, drawn out story. However, today there is no need for a long bowl when a short one will do.

I can’t imagine a day without reading. Yeah, it’s just that simple. I’ve traveled through time, been around the world, and fell in love without leaving my home office. If I couldn’t write another word, I would just pick up a book. The ability to walk away from a world filled with hollow sentiments and plastic smiles feels amazing. In the words of Tina Turner, “Simply the Best.” To feel that , even if for a little while, means so much.