Late Night Rambling

PROSE – SHORT FICTION

It was a Friday night, and the writing contest deadline was in a few hours. I barely had a solid opening, let alone anything that made the cut. Finally, my muse hit. My fingers had begun flying across the keys. Sentence after sentence filled the page. My sultry but forever absent muse had returned for a special one-night showing. I was eternally grateful. I was so lost in the story created in a presumed moment of brilliance that I barely noticed the rumble of thunder outside.

Though it had been hours, 5,000 words flowed out of me in what seemed an instance. I leaned back and lit a cigarette. I began to review what I had just written. It could be my best work or literary psychobabble like anything I had written. The first three paragraphs had promise, but the next two needed an infusion of common sense. On second thought, the delete button needed to be my best friend. It could save me from swirling in a vat of my ignorance.

Suddenly, the unthinkable happened. I heard the lightning as it struck. I remember jumping a little because the rumbling thunder shook us to the core. The lights began to flicker. I looked around, hoping that it was a fluke. I went to the living room and let the dogs inside. Although they were killers, they were afraid of thunderstorms. The house went dark. Quickly, I retrieved the candles from the junk drawer and lit them. Sitting in my easy chair, I caressed my dogs to settle their nerves. Then, it occurred to me my story.

I knew my word processor had auto-save, so most of my work would be saved. Hours went by, and still no lights. I could hear the sirens of emergency vehicles echoing through the neighboring streets. This storm was worse than most. Finally, six hours later, God smiled at us and restored the power. My dogs continued resting by the chair. I noticed their eyebrows raise as I began to move. I got to my office to see how much of my work survived. I hit the power button, but nothing happened. I knew my machine was old and desperately needed to be upgraded. So I hit the power button again, and still nothing,

I began crawling around on the floor, attempting to find my way through the jungle of power cords, USB cables, and everything else was hooked to my machine. I hit the power button again, filled with hope and promise, alas nothing. Angry, frustration, and devastation hit me all at once as I looked at the scene in disbelief. Of all the days my machine could go down, why today? Why when I had something that could have been great lurking on those digital shelves that seem to crumble under the strain?

Sifting through the pile of paper on my desk, I looked for the number of the computer guy that my friend had spoken so highly of. I find the card underneath the final pile, at the farthest corner of my desk. It was crumpled and coffee-stained, yet it was still legible. I called the shop and got the machine. How could they not answer the phone right now? This was an emergency. Then I looked at the clock and realized it was 3 am.

10:00 am couldn’t come fast enough. I feared the worst. I feared that all my recent work would be lost forever. Hopefully, this computer guy could save me. On pins and needles, I waited for the store to open. I had checked my bank account and had enough to buy another laptop, but I didn’t want to. This laptop and I had a history together. Through the late nights, countless articles, shorts, and just some incoherent early morning babble created. Through it all, she had stayed with me. A clear testament of devotion and stamina, no one truly understands a writer’s relationship with their machine Except for another writer.

I was tired of waiting, so I jumped into the car and drove to the store. Thirty minutes later, a beat Honda pulls into the parking lot. A lanky young man exits the car, looking like a cross between Maynard and Gilligan. I give him a few minutes to get inside and get things settled. I smoked a cigarette while I waited. I sat staring at my laptop, saddened, hoping things would be okay.

The store was a shambles. Stacks and stacks of computers that looked similar to mine. It was like lost souls looking for their way home—a digital wasteland within the mortar and brick. I wonder how many had walked in like me, hoping for a miracle. I wonder how many walked in and lost all hope once they saw this. I must admit, my confidence seems to be fading. I turned towards the counter, and there silently stood the man who held my sanity in his hands.

I explained my plight to him. He didn’t seem to care by his expression. By this time, he had heard nearly every story there when it came to this. He reached for my machine and excused himself to the back of his show. I swallowed hard; sweat began to bead on my forehead as I waited for his return. I stepped outside and smoked a cigarette, attempting to calm my nerves. It wasn’t helping at all. My mouth began to water as I contemplated going to the C-store and buying a beer.


This is a piece of fiction considering reworking. What do you guys think? Scribble or Delete?

Why Bother?

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

Why do I bother to post in other groups?
When my words are barely read at their home
Perhaps it is an evolving disillusion of a boyhood dream
To do something in life that makes a difference

To touch someone’s soul with a glance
To inspire a dream with a whisper
When did the purity of an ideal dissolve into an institution
Perhaps, the day you uttered another name, replacing your own

Why do I read my work aloud?
When it is obvious no one is moved
The only thing mentioned is its length
Nevermind anything about its strength

Were you listening?

There’s no need to lie to me.
Perhaps it’s because my words lack the standard rhyme or mitre.
Perhaps I have yet to say something that possesses some depth.

One thing is clear.
Their silence speaks louder than any word could

I found this piece on an old folder … interesting

~thanks for reading~

Skywriting – 082420231329

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

No man should ever eat another man’s dirt.
Sometimes, its better to go home, pride wounded
Then, to end up neath the dirr

Skywriting – 082120230945

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Pain is coursing through my body like I’m riding the rapids. There seems to be no end in sight. I can barely keep my eyes open. I barely slept at all. Yet, today is a good day. Today, is a solid day.

I got married on this day, decades ago. I know its crazy. How did I find a woman crazy enough to put up with me. It boggles the mind, but I never question the laws of physics. God rest her.

The first granddaughter was born today. Though she’s a pain in the butt, as are all my grandbabies. I couldn’t be prouder of her.

So today is a good, solid, and strong day!

Be Blessed !

Mangus Unplugged

Peering at the surface of my mind

PROSE – Straight talk

This is a response to a writing prompt I found on Medium. I thought it would be a good opportunity to slow down and examine what I’m doing and why? In the following few lines, perhaps, you will be able to better understand the writer known as Mangus Khan. So, I will put down the mask and speak to you plainly.

This has been sitting in my drafts for months. I forgot about it. So here it is …

When did you start writing? Is there a specific story?

I started writing when I was young. I can remember a specific age, but people’s opinions of me really mattered at the time. Shakespearean Psychobabble sticks out as an early work. I recall it fondly.

Do you have rituals in writing? If yes, then please share them with us.

No rituals per se, but nothing gets written without a cup of coffee. I’m afraid of what might come from my mind without my fix. I jot down anything in my head when I first wake up. Writing down the raw idea is essential for me. This way, I have an untainted version of the concept. Next, depending on what kind of mood I’m in that day; I might play a little music. I typically don’t write poetry to music, but it has inspired several poems. When I’m writing longer works, I find music drives the emotion I’m conveying rather well. However, it depends on my mood or what I’m writing.

The ugliest monster that writers are afraid of is writer’s block. If you have a recipe to deal with it, kindly share it with us.

Writer’s block has never been an issue for me. I think it is nothing more than a myth constructed by some writer during a particular undefined period. However, my constant monster or crippling demon is self-doubt. For me, it’s like Doubt lurks in the shadows of every corner. However, journaling is what keeps me sane. Not everything I write gets posted.

Describe the process of finding ideas for your stories. Please elaborate.

There is no set process. Nothing like step 1. I do this or Step 2. I do that. That might be nice or maddening. I let things flow to me, how they are supposed to. If I remember, I was meant to. If I wasn’t, I don’t. However, I often get gentle reminders and other times they aren’t so gentle.

As humans, we suffer without knowing it by choosing not to move outside our comfort zone. Do you have a “comfort zone” in writing (i.e., a topic that you always like to write about)? Have you tried to step outside your comfort zone and write something drastically different?

Typically, I can write just about anything. Of course, there are genres I’m better at than others.

Besides Medium, do you use other writing platforms? Please share our experiences.

I run a blog about my work and a writer’s workshop website. Both of these sites are hosted on WordPress. Both are relatively new, but there is a direct correlation to the work I put into them.

Have you published a book? If yes, how and where…etc. Plz, feel free to share your links with us.

No

You write because writing provides you with something special. Could you share your experience?

Writing, for me, is cheaper than a shrink. It’s my state of calm, my safety blanket, or my church. When writing, I have the ability to be myself. I can say all the things I wanted to say but couldn’t. I get to stare my demons in the face and tell them to “KICK ROCKS,” whether they leave or not is another matter entirely. However, I find peace within the moments I can write these lines.

Do you write a paragraph, a chapter, or a story with the end in mind or not? plz explain

I get several ideas throughout the day. However, the ones I pay the most attention to come in the morning. They are mainly fragments of something. Sometimes it’s the beginning, while others, it’s the middle, and of course. Example: Once, I wrote an entire novella around a single scene in an alley.

Every writer has an idol. Who is yours? And what do you find inspiring in her or his trajectory?

There have been several writers over the years who stuck out to me. There have written something that spoke to the soul.

Does being on a writing platform like Medium help your writing plans? Plz, elaborate.

No, my writing plans are completely independent of Medium. However, I found my Medium experience to be beneficial in regaining my confidence in my writing ability. Medium has also broadened my creative abilities in storytelling. Since, I have started writing here, I’ve explored my talents in photography and rediscovered cinematography.

Skywriting – 081820231422

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I’m unsure if I always enjoyed the clouds, but I know I loved the rain. Lately, in my part of the world, cloudy skies are normal. So, when I walked out and saw clear skies, I should have known there was going to be some shit this morning.

There I was standing in front of the vending machine trying to decide what salty, sugary, or this might be good, but tastes like poo, treat I going to get. This is when happened….

“What?…What?” exclaimed the strange person walking up the stairs.

I have a blank look on face, because my caffiene levels are in the red. I’ve learned from eperience not to respond without being properly caffienated.

“First thing in tbe morning you at the dog – gone vending machine.”

I stand dumbfounded at her choice of vernacular. A young person using “Dog-Gone” tells me she spent time with her elders which pleases me. She went on with some indiscript chattering. I was only make out a word here and there.

Then another one appeared with a plate in her hands. Mistakenly I did the following.

“What is this?” I asked with a puzzled look on my face.

“It’s healthy, now eat it!” says the sassy short person.

Here’s the funny thing about sassy short people they believe they whatever the hell the want and we just have to take it. Now, what’s about these two sassy individuals is they are just a millimeter from being stubby. I’ve dealt with stubby folks on occasion, they’re not so bad ; pleasant even. So close!

Now, to complete this motley quartet is a regular sized person. Now, she sat there like she had no idea what was going on. Ya’ll know I wasn’t what they was selling no even a little bit. The shit was adorable; coochie-coo!

I defended myself by saying something outlandish; to only be met with walking away giggling with one hand waving in the air.

“I can’t …I can’t!” they muttered in unison all walking away in different directions.

The meal was tasty, but the love behind it was amazing.

Journaling: Releasing the Good, the Bad & the Ugly

ARTICLES

I can’t remember why I started writing things down in a notebook. I don’t think I care. Hand journaling is a simple yet effective way to gain insight into your thoughts and emotions. It’s a practice that has been used for centuries, and for good reason. Writing by hand lets you slow down and connect with your thoughts and feelings. And with the world’s communication state, we all could pause before we tell someone how it is.

One of the great things about hand journaling is that it requires no special tools or equipment. All you need is a pen and paper. You can choose a notebook you love or use whatever you have. It is vital to make it a regular practice, even just for a few minutes a day.

Now, I mean everything I said about not needing any special equipment. But, I can see how someone may believe they need something special regarding their paper and pen. I know a guy who journals daily but is so particular about his journals that he makes his own. He took the time to figure out the paper and binding that worked for him.

Now, I don’t expect many of you to get carried away like this gentleman. You may read the stuff he writes a few times a week. I suppose I could get him to write a blog post, making a journal from scratch one day. One of the main reasons I don’t, his head is already big enough.

When you sit down to journal, try to let go of any expectations you might have. You don’t need to write a masterpiece or even complete sentences. The goal is to get your thoughts and emotions down on paper. You might write about something specific that happened that day or jot down whatever comes to mind. Don’t worry about grammar or spelling – write.

As you make hand journaling a regular habit, you’ll notice some benefits. For one thing, it can be a great stress reliever. Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them so they don’t feel overwhelming. It can also be a way to work through difficult emotions like anger or sadness. Writing can help you get to the root of what’s bothering you, which can be the first step in finding a solution.

Hand journaling can also be a way to cultivate mindfulness. When you write by hand, you’re fully engaged in the present moment. You can focus on the feeling of the pen in your hand, the sound of the paper rustling, and how the ink flows onto the page. This mindfulness can help reduce anxiety and stress and increase your overall well-being.

Think about it, sometimes when reading, you are like. That scene seemed so natural. I can’t be sure, but I feel confident that somewhere, that scene has been worked out in a journal.

In conclusion, hand journaling is a simple but effective practice that can help you gain insight into your thoughts and emotions. Regularizing it can reduce stress and anxiety, cultivate mindfulness, and build self-awareness. So why not give it a try today? All you need is a pen and paper and a few minutes of your time.

Here are a few articles on journaling for mental health

Whispers of the Dark #10

POETRY – HUMOR

Assholes are a dime of a dozen
Good people are rare
Take it from me
Another Asshole

Skywriting – 081720230806

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

The clouds are thick this morning. It puts me in the mind of the old saying, “A blanket of clouds.” They look as if there are several blankets one on top of another. It’s one of those days where you just want to roll over and catch some more sleep. Not a lot, just another hour or three.

I was picking up breakfast at the local grocery and I saw a woman shopping gingerly. She ended up at the chekout before I did. She had a bottle of wine and crackers. I chuckled as I walked out the door. I sat in my pickup looking at my receipt, my items came to $19.87. It was the year I stepped into madness.

My Unspoken Charge

What is the most important thing to carry with you all the time?

PROSE – REFLECTION

On a table, items are lined up in a certain order. These are the things I take with me each day. The items on the table may change for time to time depending on what is in store for the day. However, there are certain things that I carry regardless.

To answer this question, I suppose line them up; spread them out, look at them individually making a determination of their importance. Then perhaps them in some sort of order. I’m not sure which sorting method I’m going to use, but that’s not what important at the moment.

If I know myself, I’d like to think I got a pretty good handle of who I am. Though I admit I surprise myself now and again. I’d asking the question, “How did things get this way?”

Now I know the purpose of every item on the table and why its there. My question of how? Is simply an exercise of gaining the understanding how these items became important enough to make to the table. If you look at it, something as simple of a yes or no could have altered the way I do things.

An altered decision of undefined place in time, could possibly alter the items on the table. A black pen could be blue, wristwatch instead of pocket watch, etc,. It’s becomes clear to me, none of the items on the table are that important. For they could be changed by answers to questions I didn’t know to ask.

So, what is my most important thing to carry with me daily?

My humanity

No matter what goes on, I still must be truest form of myself.

Be decent and kind,

Despite…
what is said
what is done

Despite …
what is felt
what is not

Despite…
pain
fear
hate
torment
agony

Joy

Yes, there’s joy
Love as well
Grace, compassion

I must stand and remain steady

This is my unspoken charge

They Shape the World …

What profession do you admire most and why?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

When I think about the professions that make a difference, what comes to mind are teachers, doctors, and stuff. However, I attended a concert last week where the lead singer took a moment to recognize the personnel who spent all day in the heat setting up everything. I liked that a lot.

So, this morning, I took a different approach to answering this question. I decided to choose a profession that is seldom heard or talked about. As I began thinking about the question, I realized there are far too many unspoken professions. So let’s do this…

If you work behind the scenes or rarely get credit for the things you do.

This Bud for you …

Respect

So many prominent people get their moment in the spotlight. It’s time for the people who shape the world to get some props. I’ve been one of you my whole life. So were my parents and most of my friends. So, this tribute is genuine.

The State of things … right now

this is how I’m feeling …

I can hear my therapist voice in my head….

“Let’s use our coping skills, hmm.”

I remain silent, but think, “Our? What do you mean, our?”

“Let’s review our mantra.”, “One?”

Still silent, “You’re so fired.”

Is it Really that Simple?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

For months, I’ve refused to acknowledge ownership of the feral cats in my house. Yes, I realize what I just said, allow me to explain. It happened several months ago when one showed up pregnant looking all cuddly and whatnot.

There is a considerable amount more to the story and I tried to end plain the particulars to my lady. She gracious listened and asked the following question.

“Do you feed them?”

“Yes.”

“Then they are your cats.”

I started to protest, because their obvious factors she wasn’t considering. Her eyebrow raised, she gave the look that every woman gives their man when he being ridiculous. I relented and went to pick up some kibble. They really love the salmon and rice stuff.

Is it really that simple?

This is beyond my control …

What change, big or small, would you like your blog to make in the world?

PROSE – INTROSPECTION

I completely misread this question. So, I spent the last few hours formulating an answer to a question that hadn’t been asked. I’m taken back a bit by my actions. I’ve ranted at great length about people’s responses about the things I say. Especially when they miss something or don’t allow me to finish my statement. To their defense, I’ll admit there are times I can be a tad loquacious. So, tuning me out may be a survival mechanism. I get it.

Over a decade ago, the trend was every writer needed a blog or website if they were serious about writing. I haven’t met any writer who wasn’t serious about writing. No matter the degree of skill or dedication, no writer wants to be excused for not being serious about the craft. I suppose there may be some. I haven’t met them, and I’m okay with that.

If you’re still reading, I know it’s taking a minute to get to whatever point I’m trying to make, but I’ll get there as soon as I can. I think the problem resides in the fact I wasn’t aware it needed to be anything more than what it is. However, now that it’s been brought up, let me work my way through this sticky wicky.

Now, I’m going to give a bit of history of Khan before he was Khan. If that even a thing? I dated a girl once, and I believed she was my girlfriend. I say I believe because when you’re a teenager, the girls set your relationship status. You have no say in the matter; even if you had something to say, I doubt they actually pay attention.

There was a lot of talking on the phone and promises made with the purest intentions. If I’m not mistaken, love might have been used on occasion. It was all quite innocent, really. Cute even, TV movie cute. I wrote her a letter, we did those things back then. We wrote down our thoughts and feelings, put them in an envelope, and mailed them. Then, waited on pins and needles, hoping their response was something favorable.

Her response wasn’t ideal by any stretch of my imagination, but what it did do was unlock Khan. For this, I’m indebted.

As it relates to the question…

What change or impact do I want my blog to make? This can’t be my focus. The change or impact of my blog has very little to do with me. My focus must be this…

My focus must be to write these feelings, ramblings, and rants. I’ve committed myself to sharing them. Their impact is beyond my control.

I am Mangus Khan, and these are my memoirs.

The Memoirs of Madness.

Skywriting – 081320231100

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

It’s been a while since I felt like writing; it’s been a heavy couple of weeks. The kind that can be summed up in a single word, “Damn.” Said in a whisper with a shake of the head while rubbing your brow, as if that action ever really does anything. Everything seems to be gnawing you all at once. It’s like being pulled into a thousand different directions, but you’re standing still.

Wishing this were true…

While popping off the lid of the carton of Butter Pecan, you pause, thinking it might be a bit early…

Who gives a shit … it’s 11 am

The Simple Life

List 30 things that make you happy.

PROSE – DAILY PROMPT /SLIGHT RANT

I read this question and begin to laugh. I can’t remember the last time I needed 30 things to make me happy. I’ve overheard conservation dealing with this subject, where the overall opinion if you couldn’t name a certain ridiculous number things you weren’t a happy person.

As I walked away, feeling joy for dodging a bullet. Being assimilated into the Borg, has been a goal of mine. Yet, I knew I couldn’t name the required amount of things. What did this say about me? Am I not a happy person?

Okay, I admit I’m a bit of a frowner, but come on! A sad sack?

So I came up with a list for various topics I’ve heard people talking about.

  • Top 5 Jobs regardless of the time period
  • The 5 Best Albums of 1973
  • Top 5 Tombstone inscriptions

Yes, I know those list are ridiculous, however there was a time in my life where I considered these might important to know at some point. Yet, I find them no more than zany than needing 30 items that make you happy. I concede it appears to avoiding the question for some reason. I’m not I assure you.

  • Life – appreciating all the things has to offer and doing my best to wisdom from them.
  • Love – isn’t there a song explaining this one
  • Music – One of the magnificent about life is music.
  • A good pen – There are few things better than a good pen. Yes, I have a preferred rotation of writing instruments fitting this criteria.
  • A proper notebook – This has proven time and time again more difficult than it should. Due to this, I make my own.
    • Spiral so it will lay flat.
    • Hard cover at least on the back
    • 28lbs paper preferred, 24 lbs in a pinch.

Now, I’m aware that 28lbs paper officially makes me bougie. Whatever.

I live a simple, a few frills life. Or at least these are things the things I tell myself as attempt justifying to myself the expensive of a new piece of tech.

The Blind leading the Blind

How would you describe yourself to someone who can’t see you?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS/CHALLENGE

When I read this question, I thought about Raymond Carver’s short story “Cathedral”. I remember by the end of that story, I wondered who was really blind? The sighted man? Or the blind man? What doesn’t a sighted person really see? In so many regards, there is a tremendous world available to us, yet we limit ourselves to very little of it. As I write this I still wonder.

A physical description will do you no good. However, allow me to take a few moments to tell who I am, not what I look like.

I’m the one who broods silently in the corner. You know I will be there if needed, but I will not impede you. You get sense of my size by the depths of my breathing. You’ll get I’m a troubled man by my breathing tempo.

I tell you I live by a simple code, this may seem ludicrous, but it’s true. I will lie for another, yet I won’t lie for myself, despite the cost. I’ve lost everything, yet I’ve gained so much.

One who walks the halls of darkness, leads this troubled soul to the light.

~thank you for reading~

Skywriting – 080220231551

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

NEVER, change or comprise who you are for the sake of another. They never respect you for it. More than likely, they will lose respect for you. View you as weak and treat you accordingly. Stay no matter what, true to the person you know yourself to be.

If they cannot respect the person you are? Then, do the responsibility thing … escort them to the door and say bye!

~thank you for reading~

Skywriting – 072720231236

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

I haven’t been sleeping, my latest bout with insomnia. I’m sure there’s a reason. However, too figure out what.

So it goes …

~thank you for reading~

Bruce Lee Saved My Life

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

PROSE – REFLECTION/INTROSPECTION

For years, I acted a certain way because I thought that was the expectation. Sadly, I discovered no matter how you act or what you do, people will complain about something. By my rationale, if they’re going to complain anyway, you might as well be true to yourself as much as possible. I concede there are situations where being yourself is not the appropriate action. If you have no idea what I’m referring to, be thankful, and you are blessed.

Typically, health is addressed with a proper diet and exercise. I agree with this mindset overall. However, some things cause me concern. I feel every diet and exercise program should tailored to the individual. Yes, there are tried and true methods, yet we are different. So why should we attempt to place everyone in the same categories? I think we should be mindful of these things, developing a program for ourselves or others.

I tend to focus on the mental aspect of things: mind, body, and spirit philosophy. I have found consistently over several decades if I work to maintain a proper mindset, everything else falls into place. This state of being isn’t automatic; it’s consistent enough to keep using. I admit I fail miserably at times. We are human, right?

I remember attending the matinee and watching Bruce Lee do his thing. This fueled my newfound obsession with the martial arts. I learned about Jim Kelly. He was in one of Bruce’s movies. I was blown away. The whole “Black guy” doing karate thing. Then we had that song “Kung-fu Fighting,” just finished me off.

I never saw a video for this song until today…wow

What I learned from my studies is to exercise patience and restraint. I’ve considered this concept to be one of the keys to success in life. I found it works despite your social-economic standing. Over the years, I have heard a multitude of phrases or slogans covering various aspects of life. However, I have found patience and restraint provided the most significant measure of success overall. I am a self-proclaimed knucklehead and, at times, a jackass, so this hasn’t been the most effortless journey for me. Yet, I keep trying.

In conclusion, I feel a person’s mental and physical health are connected. I have to remember that. It’s such a simple thing. When I think about the numerous times I have lost sight of that, I feel idiotic. Yet, I maintain faith in this practice.

Skywriting – 07272023111132

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS / RECOLLECTION

During my daily reading this morning, I came across an opening line.
It evokes a random memory
It unearthed a forgotten emotion

Kiss me without stopping

K. Hartless’ s Yard Sale of Thoughts

Yes, I remember the first time I saw my beloved.
I swallowed a delicious urge to kiss her

Kiss me
Yeesss!
slow and deep
in a serious manner

Kiss me
without boundaries
Without pretense

Surrender to hunger
Give way to passion


A knock on the door
”Mr. Khan, your 1 o’clock is here.”
I have a perplexed look
“I know she’s early, but she says it can’t wait.”
I nod

Now, I swallow a primal urge to shiver

~thank you for reading~

You Know There are Such things …

What are your future travel plans?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE

I have no future plans for traveling; I have entirely too much work to do. This place will fall apart without me. I said something similar to that to my lady during a conversation about me taking a break. Mind you, I was snapping over the slightest things and just an all-out pain in the ass. Now, my lady isn’t above giving me a good dose of what for if it calls for it. But that day, she simply reiterated her previous statement but put a little stank on it.

I caught the tone but went into a whole thing about my old truck not being road trip worthy. I thought it would end the conversation, and I could return to preparing for the next day’s work. Looking back, I wonder why I ever thought that reason was fly. It’s not like we started dating and we ridiculously understanding about everything. Nope, we’ve been at this for a while, and then I received the patented, often lamented, you’re a jackass look.

Her response was simple, “You know there are such things as rental cars, right?”

Whispers of the Dark – 072520230947

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

It took me over fifty years
to get to this moment.
Some think I’m crazy to continue trying
The ones who quit are somewhere
lying & crying justifying
the stories they feed themselves
I guess that’s okay on some level
As long as they lie like they mean it

~thank you for reading~

FOTD – 07252023

PHOTOGRAPHY – SHORT FICTION

Yesterday, I shared a flower that survived a recent storm in my town. I’still moved by its beauty and will to survive. Now, I’m actually aware of its species, sweet! Thanks, Cee.

For some reason, I didn’t consider any other area being effected by the storm. I figured my community alone had suffered the wrath. I really don’t know why I don’t that. I had some business to conduct outside my region, I noticed the path of the storm. It affected much more than I realized. People didn’t have power just like us. People were shook emotionally as well, like we were.

I stopped at a rest area during my return home, that’s when I heard something peculiar.

“Really! You gonna just walk right by me without taking a look?

“Huh?”

“HUH! That’s right here for my health. I survive a storm and everything.” The voice said.

The voice was agitated, but delicate. I paused and looked around. My attention rested on this flower .

It’s color was captivating. I stood there in bewildered wondering how I could have missed the beauty. I decided to take a closer look.

Uncontrollably I uttered, “You so beautiful!” Her response, “Thank You”

Then I heard another voice say, “What about me, I survived too!” I turned a saw another beautiful survivor, but that’s a story for another day.

A Book a Day Keeps Madness Away

What do you listen to while you work?

PROSE – CHALLENGE RANT

Typically, while working at my day job. I listen to a book whether it be a short story, novel, or essay. I do this to assist in practicing my active listening skills. I listen to both fiction and non-fiction. I pay attention to the story, plot, and structure.

This habit also assists in writing. On breaks I sit and close my eyes. I try to create an image in my mind. I’ve found in incidents where I can’t create in my mind. I stopped the book and tried to create the scene on paper. This is a writing exercise I’ve found useful in my own writing.

I read somewhere if you can’t see; delete it. Since I started working on screenplays several years, I found advice to be quite accurate. Happy writing everyone. If you’re a different sort of creative type leave your techniques in the comments below. I’m interested in learning new things.

~thank you for reading~

Question of the Day – 07242023

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Questions:

Can I be strong? & Can I be trusted?

Thought Process:

I was told, telling someone to trust you is a plea of a guilty soul. I’m unsure if I agree with this statement, but it has always stuck with lingering the darkness of my mind. As if it was reminders of my demons I created and haunt me daily. You know what talking about. Most folks know as regrets.

I’m guilty of many things and my regrets are numerous. Yet, I wonder if I’m strong enough to bear the responsibility of my guilt and the reality of the unintended consequences of my actions. No matter which way direction the pendulum swings, the reality of the situation rings true. It’s cost is a heavy one.

Answer:

I’m going to have to be.

Skywriting – 072420230743

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

The pulled me the arms of my vision. I say vision because it felt than a dream. Nana always said if you can remember your dream, it was a premonition of what was to come.

I hope so

~thank you for reading~

Coffee, curse, repeat

What are your daily habits?

PROSE – RANT

I’ve lived long enough to develop and fine-tune my daily routine. I’ve lived long enough to have grown tired of said routine. So, you spice it up by changing your brand or flavor of coffee. Get your muffin from a different bakery. There are so many acceptable variations to the daily grind.

However, as we fine-tune things, we discover certain things that are acceptable variations under any circumstances. An example of most things concerning my cat, Sophie. Sophie really isn’t the hissing kind, so when she does, there’s trouble in Demark, as some folks say. Then she typically gives Ghost, the neighborhood cat, and swat with a calibrated hiss for effect.

Soph’s is a little perturbed because I switched to bargain cat food to save a little coin, but dealing with grief wasn’t worth it. I made matters worse by switching to a Jamicain blend of coffee. As it brewed, she sniffed the air, gave me a short hiss, and whined. So I dumped the pot and made her favorite.

You’re probably wondering why I would dump a perfectly good pot of coffee. I didn’t care much myself. I picked it up in the clearance basket right after I thought I caught a deal on the cat kibble. It appears I missed on both accounts. So, being quite pleased with myself, not, I belt out a healthy dose of expletives, capping it off with, “That’s that bullshit!” I continued muttering something under my breath, what I’m not sure, I’m always running my mouth, and no telling what passed these lips.

We do this routine every day. Coffee, curse, and repeat


The Darkness behind the Light

What bothers you and why?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

In this world, everything is shiny and new in 5 easy steps. It is hard to see or understand what is real and what is fake. People can flash an award-winning smile without even thinking about it. It is almost second nature. To be clear, I’m not referring to the genuinely happy people. They are special and shouldn’t be confused with the others.

I’m also not talking about the people who we know are obviously fake. They are easily spotted; they have plastic smiles and spew prattle like its a lifestyle as if they get a few dollars off for the crap that comes out of their mouths. Only to be recognized at the end of the banquet hosted at HoJo’s. I heard it isn’t bad; the continental breakfast is to die for. I hear they have real eggs and fresh pastries.

I’m talking about the people we wouldn’t suspect. The people we trusted got to know and had over for cards. They have babysat your children and you theirs. They have been such a positive light in your life. If anyone were to say different, you have words. However, there are times when you discover something unnerving about them. Something so unsettling it’s simply unbelievable. Cognitive dissonance comes to mind when thinking about this scenario.

Cognitive dissonance is the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes. People tend to seek consistency in their attitudes and perceptions, so this conflict causes unpleasant feelings of unease or discomfort.

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-cognitive-dissonance-2795012#

I’m bothered when I see the darkness. I’m better than that.

Question of the Day – 07182023

PROSE

How hard is it to show another kindness?

I know it may seem difficult at times. However, it’s much easier than you might think.
Just do it. That’s right be kind.

Consider the Source

On what subject(s) are you an authority?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT asked this question earlier in the week. I would have a list of things I’m an authority. I would have said it with a level of confidence, leaving you without doubt of my ability to perform or know whatever I said. Good thing I wasn’t asked earlier I’ve never been a fan of lying to people.

First, I would have rattled off being to your passions. Explore them with enthusiasm. Don’t hold back for a moment. When it’s all said and done, you can you did it right. Some would include having no regrets; they can shut up now. If you have no regrets, you ain’t doing right. Now, cut that shit out. It’s okay to be truthful; it’s okay to be authentic.

Secondly, Love Hard. I mean, give it everything you got, full throttle with 1000hp, baby! If you don’t understand the metaphor, put simply, if you love someone? Mean, that shit! Don’t half-ass a second. Trust me; you’ll regret it even if they break your heart and grind you into the sand, blow granules in your face. You will know you have done it right.

Alas, the question was posed much later. Although, I still firmly believe everything I previously stated. Damn straight! Every word! However, I’m no longer an authority in such matters. As of late, I’ve unwittingly become an authority on disappointment.

More precisely, the disappointment of others. I see their looks as I pass by. I hear the contempt in their voices when they utter my name. It isn’t something I set out to do. It just seem to happen.

That’s how it goes …

~thank you for reading~

Want to know Something Crazy?

PROSE – REFLECTION

There was a time recently when people asked if this was the beginning of our extinction. I was unsure, but I listened. I’m not an alarmist or anything, nor do I believe they were either. However, one couldn’t ignore what was happening around us.

A local playground during the pandemic

So, the world goes back to normal somewhat. We resume our usual activities as best we can. No more caution tape, and families are filling the playground. Laughter filled the air, assholes resurfaced, and street prophets stood on the corners, dropping their unorthodox wisdom. Yeah, everything’s right in the world. It has been this way for a couple of years. The attitude is we made it through the worst of it.


Two weeks ago, I sat here in the dark. I sit here not by choice but by circumstance. A tornado touched down in my area, destroying all in its path. Broken branches lined the streets, and power was lost. They are still clearing up the branches, but they are almost done. The last of my friends got their power restored Tuesday. I was lucky by comparison my power was out for three days.

The rest of the city was far worst than this

The physical damage was the easy part, but the effects of the emotional damage lingered. I still haven’t seemed to regain my rhythm in writing with the blog. But I need it. It was one of the few things that remained steady.

Whispers of the Dark #9

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I’m losing hope
but I know I can never give up

I must maintain my faith
in the Master and the ones I love

I know they don’t have faith in me
I understand why they have

I pray to the Master that one day
the one I love will gain faith in me

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #6

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Last night I dreamt of the innocence of writing
before the hoopla, deadlines, word counts, etc.,
when we hurriedly crafted sentences
in chalk on sidewalks before they got washed away in the rain.
Good luck today;
write clean, true, & honest ….it’s 5 am

~thank you for reading~

Peace, Love, and Understanding

Daily writing prompt
What do you think gets better with age?

So many things flood my mind when thinking about this question. I literally sat down and made a list. After laughing about the ridiculous nature of the things I listed. I remembered how I was as a young man. How every little thing pissed me off. The monster and I had reached puberty. It’s bad enough to deal with teenage emotion on its own. However, I had an accidental passenger, think Venom, from the comics and movies.

MTV had become a thing, and many evenings were spent listening to the music of the time. One of these nights, I heard a song that changed my life. Yes, I know how much that sounds like a cliche, but I’m serious. Elvis Costello was on the screen doing his thing. I’ve been a fan ever since. He accompanied me on every deployment. His music has gotten me through some tough spots. What does this have to do with the question?

The song that changed my life is “What’s so funny about (Peace, Love, and Understanding).” I understand it more and more as I get older. It’s not that the song has gotten better or changed; I did. I realize I have more peace, love, and understanding as I get older. I hope society gains more of this than I did.

Skywriting – 071420230811

PROSE – ENTICEMENT

It wasn’t supposed to be this way, not even close. What was she doing here? She knows the rules. Absolutely no distractions while I’m drafting a novel. But I was glad she was here. I needed to see her. I longed for her touch. Fuck that; rules are rules. Scam! I wanted to say but couldn’t.

Her gaze, her movement, and her presence were everything I needed. Every strife has begun to dissipate from being. My racing thoughts calmed, gently flowing and controllable. My God, where has she been? The hell with the rules. Finally, I was able to mutter.

“I going to need you to stop doing that.”

“What?”

“Being you.”

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #5

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

I heard a whisper and chronicled its truth.
It spoke of the space between; that pause, that moment.
The blissful innocence, the delicious taste, the insatiable hunger,
the… sigh. I open my notebook … it’s 4 am.

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #8

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

I loved her with all I had
It wasn’t enough, not even close

I thought I was good to her
But I wasn’t

If you want to know the truth of it?
I was fully aware of who and what I am.

I’ve been

weighed

measured

and found

wanting

If this wasn’t enough

I discovered I’m also cruel
For wasting her time.

~thank you for reading~

The Bionic Kid who wanted to be a Gymnast

Have you ever had surgery? What for?

PROSE – CREATIVE NON-FICTION

I’ve been under the blade a few times in my short time on this side of the veil. I’m not precisely accident-prone but in the words of Pop. “If you gonna do anything, do it right.” I might as well scream at the top of my lungs, “Yes sir!” like those military folks in boot camp. You know, as you see on the shows.

Today, I’d like to direct your attention 1976. I was a wee lad. I hadn’t graduated from Wrigley’s to Bazooka Joe yet. Col. Steve Austin was on the airwaves doing fantastic with his bionic parts. So, I ran around making sounds heard every time he used his bionics.

I thought this was so cool

As it happens, 1976 was the year Kurt Thomas competed in the Summer Olympics. I watched that guy do his thing, and I was floored. He was so good; my grandma let me watch him every time he was on the TV. Now this was a woman who firmly believed in children going outside to play. I can only think of one exception; rain “cause you’d catch cold.”

You see that? Badass

So, at the start of the school year, I decided to show off my new gymnast skills. These skills comprised doing a back flip off the swing set and crossing the creek on a fallen tree. Now this didn’t qualify me to become a gymnast by any stretch, but by God, not a soul was going to me any different.

In gym class, I decided to jump off the top of the jungle gym. The first time was a disaster; I didn’t nail the landing. I fell back, can you believe it? Just shameful. The second attempt was perfect dismount; since I failed the first time, I went for broke. I did a triple somersault with a one-half twist. That’s right, un-huh, I was showing out. Perfect execution. I nailed the landing. Things went to hell from there.

Well, I broke my hip. I can only remember fragments of that period, but I can remember hollering as they rolled me to surgery, “I don’t want a bionic leg!”, “I don’t want to be the Six Million Dollar Man.” I ended up in traction, then a body cast. Good times for all, especially my mother because had to change my bedpan.

My Monster Side

What could you let go of, for the sake of harmony?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT/ DAILY PROMPT

I constantly think the monster I reside within is in control of every decision I make. I’m aware this doesn’t make sense to most, but I will my best to have make sense. Before I’ve blogged about being my monster’s prisoner. However, in that post, I wasn’t exactly truthful. I didn’t exactly tell it straight. I played with words rearranged them for the sake of cleverness or for the sake of attempting of being cool.

The truth can be the hardest hammer known. Or touch with the gentliest touch. The gentle touch, part is something I read about somewhere. I’d would like to think it exists, but unfortunately it hasn’t been my experience.

Today, I realized something about myself. Accepting the truth of is one of the most painful things I’ve experinced in awhile. I’d like to walk upon a Djinn, so they could grant me three wishes. However, I only need one. I’d wish I could someone worthy of respect and be treated with dignity.

Yet, I know it. doesn’t work that way. I can’t rid of my monster side. Nor, can I even hid it. For it’s all that I am. I would gladly surrender it for the sake of harmony

In the Wee Hours #4

POETRY-RANDOM THOUGHT

Doubt casts a long shadow,
I don’t know if I can escape.
Paralyzed as he whispers lies in my ears.
I recite the writer’s prayer until I feel its courage.
Courage is all we need to hang on … it’s 4 am

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #7

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

It’s like I can’t hear the rhythm or sway to the melody of a verse…
yet somehow, my fingers begin to tap, and my pen moves…
I sigh, then smile because I know the madness is flying again.

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #6

POETRY -RANDOM THOUGHTS

In the silence,
I hear the growl of the demon inside
Come one all
into the splinters of my remaining sanity

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #3

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

The lights flickered,
and the room is chilled.
I resist an urge to shiver.

A wraith from the hollows appears.

Wraith: “Come”
Me:” Can we talk”
A portal opens.
Me:” Crap”

Good luck, everyone!… I step through the portal … it’s 5 am

~thank you for reading~

All my Heroes are Ghosts

Who is your favorite historical figure?

It’s sometimes hard to come up with one name. To narrow down contributions to humanity to a single name. I have categories where people of history fell into. It’s an organizational thing, something I picked up from watching Sesame Street.

This is where it started. Now everything is a category. So to answer this question without driving myself completely crazy, I’ve chosen the writing category. Now my favorite across all forms, genres, and types of writing is Gwendolyn Brooks.

I wrote a post about her before. Here is the Link

~thank you for reading~

Hello! How Rude of Me.. My Name is …

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

PROSE – SHORT FICTION /MAYBE?

Allow me to start here. Most of you have gotten to know Mangus Khan. It’s a little much, I know, at the start, but it kind of rolls off the tongue once you get used to it. However, I feel it may be time to reveal my true identity. My name is …

Before we move forward, let me provide some context to avoid confusion. I am an immortal.

As an immortal, I have lived for centuries and witnessed many events in history. I have gained knowledge and experience beyond what any mortal can imagine. I can see the way you’re looking at me. If I were you, I would looking at me in the same manner. I suppose you have watched some of those movies attempting to discuss immortality. No? let us assume you have seen at least one and allow me assure you my life has been that glamourous.

However, my immortality comes with a price. I have watched friends die. The chap the Raminez character was based on, he too, was an immortal. He loved life more than anyone my path has crossed. I was present the day … well, he crossed over. I died that day as well. You see, when I came back from the darkness I found my friend headless leaning against a stump. It was then I knew I was destined to be alone.

Yet, I was blessed and fell in love that year. Our love was forbidden and certainly unwise. When she crossed over I was broken. Yet, I remain unchanged. well at least outwardly. It can be a lonely existence at times, but I have learned to appreciate the beauty and wonder of life despite its fleeting nature and shattered heart.

Throughout my many years, I have seen the world change in countless ways. I have witnessed wars and revolutions, the rise and fall of civilizations, and the evolution of technology and culture. I have also seen the best and worst of humanity, from acts of kindness and compassion to unspeakable acts of cruelty and violence.

Despite all of this, I have remained a mere observer of history, a passive witness to the events that have shaped our world. It is only recently that I have decided to again take a more active role in shaping the course of history, using my knowledge and experience to make a positive impact on the world.

And that is where you come in. As an assistant, I am here to help you achieve your goals and make a difference in the world. Whether you are an individual seeking personal growth and fulfillment, or an organization working to make a positive impact on society, I am here to support you every step of the way.

So, let us work together to achieve greatness and make the most of our time in this world. What can I assist you with today?

Eastbound and Down

How do you practice self-care?

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

There is something about taking a drive. A full tank of gas packed lunch, and your camera and notebook. It’s a sense of freedom; at least, that’s the phrase I’ll use as I sit here talking to you. I suppose it’s as good as any, to really explain this feeling I get when taking a drive. It’s a chance to explore, clear your mind, and, just for a moment, set aside the stresses of everyday life. And having your camera and notebook with you allows you to capture the magic.

There’s no better way to appreciate the beauty of nature and the world around you than to take a leisurely drive, at least I don’t know if any. Maybe one or two others come to mind if I think on it a spell. But, nothing beats a drive. Whether through winding country roads, along the coast, or through the mountains, a scenic drive can be a truly unforgettable experience. Let us not forget, a drive through the city after dark. Another side of life seems to come alive in the night; after dark. One must be careful you may see things you may never have known existed.

But it’s not just about the destination; it’s also about the journey. Taking a drive can be a chance to reflect on your life, think about your goals and dreams, and enjoy the present moment. It’s a form of self-care that can help reduce stress, improve your mood, and boost your creativity.

In fact, many writers, artists, and photographers have used driving to inspire their work. The freedom of the open road allows them to escape the distractions of everyday life and focus on their craft. And with a camera and notebook, they can capture their thoughts and ideas as they come to them.

But even if you’re not a writer or artist, taking a drive can still be a valuable experience. It’s a chance to unplug from technology, connect with nature, and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. And with the flexibility of driving, you can make the experience your own. You can stop at a roadside diner for a classic burger and fries, take a detour to visit a local attraction, or simply park by a scenic overlook and watch the world go by.

So next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, why not take a drive and see where the road takes you? You never know what new experiences, sights, and insights you may discover. Perhaps, a fond memory or recollection will be unlocked evoking a smile.

In the Wee Hours #2

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS

Churn is soothing.
Crickets chirp,
dancing by a nearby light,
and the night air lingers on my lips.
Slumber sits beside me, rocking.
We’re together, yet so far apart.
Together rocking and enjoying the stillness….it’s 2 am.

~thank you for reading~

Java and Verse #5

Canin Tension Analysis

An important approach in developing your ability to apply tension in your writing. It is by reading other types of writing. One suggestion for doing this is to grab a short story or two. They are usually small in size, and you examine them quickly without investing a great deal of time. I suggest you read them slowly, noting the elements of tension. It is a good possibility that you will see different approaches to formulas that interest you. You might be inspired enough to develop a few different approaches. 

In the first paragraph, we are introduced to a character obviously not pleased with his life. We observe that he is somewhat detached from life. Yet, he notices certain things that remind him that there is more to life. But he hasn’t had the opportunity to experience them to the fullest. Here we have the foundation of the character’s desire.


Next, Canin provides information about the character in a few paragraphs that firmly establishes the character’s desire. We discover he is a third-year medical student, which explains the exhaustion and the long hours. It provides us with a bit of insight into why the character has such a profound sense of detachment. As well as an explanation of why his girlfriend still has two unpacked suitcases and a lump on the other side of the bed. 


In the remainder of the piece, we discover the dangerous elements. First, we face the danger of contamination in the operating room. Something that remains looming throughout the remainder of the tale. We also see that character begins to face the possibility of losing his mind. Either from fatigue or longing to be somewhere. Something that he struggles his until contamination rears its icky head.


The character realizes he is not crazy and that an ant has caused mayhem. The situation is resolved quickly. And they go back to work as if nothing happened. I suppose it is a message of how life really is. We can want something or be somewhere else, but we have to maintain the tasks at hand. Overall I enjoyed the creative way Canin took a mundane routine and made it enjoyable. He did so by imagery to describe things that typically would be overlooked. 

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #5

POETRY – HUMOR

I’m tragically aware we are losing the war of self-absorption.
A constant bombardment of the idea we need to bathe in vanity.
Worn so tightly it rubs against our skin.
A constant reminder we aren’t beautiful enough;
we need beard dye, smoother skin, and ninja bullet.

~thank you for reading~

In the Wee Hours #1

POETRY – INSOMNIA

Slumber whispers in my ear
as she runs her fingers through my whiskers.
I love it when she does that.
Sleep creeps in.
The muse slaps my face, “Where are my words.”
The shit just got real …. it’s 5 am.

~thank you for reading~

The Blabbering Idiot

POETRY – HUMOR

Allow me to introduce myself
I’m a blabbering idiot
it’s nice to meet you.
Then I crack the mirror.

~thank you for reading~

The Stories We Hide from

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

Once, I wondered what journals were for
What do we write in them..?
We tell the stories of pain
we can never speak.

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #4

POETRY –

If I thought you could love me
If I thought you really can
I will tell you my secret
I have always been your man

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #3

POETRY

Is this what you wanted?
A piece of me …
You better get what you need.
While I bleed

~thank you for reading~

Whispers of the Dark #2

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

In the silence as the cool mist caresses your face. You remember that section of the park when the beauty and the path she walks she wasn’t born yet. You whisper a spell to the beauty, hoping it will last.

Whispers of the Dark #1

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHTS

She stares into the darkness, in a fog of stale cigarettes and drunken sweet nothings, wondering where everything went wrong. She just wanted to make movies people talked about. Now she does what she needs to survive.

A Glimpse into Madness

Here is a glimpse of my world in response to Pensitivity101“s prompt

Here are this week’s questions:

  1. If you could reinvent yourself, how would you like to be? I wouldn’t change much about myself. Each success and failure has been a learning experience I’ve found them useful in a variety of situations. However, I think it would be nice to live without the nightmares.
  2. Would you like to be a pet in your household? Yes, of course, I believe pets make us better. They can be messy, but the emotional support they provide is crucial. At least, it’s that way for me.
  3. How many house moves have you had as an adult? I have moved a lot as an adult. A few countries and several states. I’m going to guess and say, maybe 15 times.
  4. What was your favourite home? I don’t have a favorite home was whereever my wife and children were. It’s literally that simple for me. 

Gratitude:
It costs nothing to be nice. You may even be remembered for it.

Pulling the Pen

Daily writing prompt
How do you want to retire?

SHORT FICTION – PROSE/LIGHT RANT

Harold Shea is an ordinary fellow, as fellows go. He has no grand stories about this girl or that girl. He is a simple chap who eats tuna on toasted rye. Harold and I are clerks at the Ministry of Useless Facts and Random Memories. A person becomes a clerk if they have a knack for remembering and cataloging trivial information. Our job is to sift through old documents and archives, searching for forgotten tidbits of knowledge that may one day prove useful.

Harold is a diligent worker, and he takes pride in his work. He always arrives early and stays late, poring over old manuscripts and dusty tomes. He has a particular fondness for historical trivia and, from time to time, found regaling his coworker Venus Milo with tales of obscure battles and forgotten rulers.

Despite his unremarkable nature and unassuming demeanor, Harold is a valuable member of our team. Without his tireless efforts, many of the useless facts and random memories that we collect would be lost to the sands of time.

Harold is also a kind and thoughtful person. He is always willing to lend a helping hand to his coworkers. Last week, for instance, one of our colleagues was struggling to find a particular piece of information for a project. Harold spent hours searching through old records until he found what she was looking for. He did all of this without expecting anything in return.

Despite his many admirable qualities, Harold is not without his quirks. For one thing, he can be a bit absent-minded at times. On more than one occasion, he has misplaced important documents or forgotten to submit reports on time. However, his forgetfulness is more than made up for by his enthusiasm and dedication.

Everything changed about six months ago. I came into the office, and everyone was in a tizzy. It isn’t like it was the first time the office was in this state. Harold usually got things in order rather quickly. However today, no Harold. He has never been late a day in thirty years. I tended to the disaster but never took my mind off what could have possibly happened to Harold. Then I was called into the Director’s office.

“Thank you for sorting out that dreadful mess.” said the Director

“It was nothing, Ma’am,” I replied.

“Harold?” She asked. I shrugged and walked out.

After stopping by Harold’s weekly for the next six months, I received a package at the Ministry. The package sat on my desk for another month before I remembered it. When I opened the package, there was a letter from Harold.

Dear Seamus,
I know this package has been sitting on your desk for about a month. I’m well. Venus and I have retired and living in my favorite place. Do you remember? Of course you do, you don’t forget anything. I miss you, ole chap. I haven’t had a decent conversation in months. Perhaps, you can down and keep Venus and me company.

~H

Well, that rascal, I thought. I had no idea that he and Venus had a thing. Why wouldn’t he tell me?

I guess there are a lot of things to consider when you’re thinking about “Pulling the Pen.”

REBLOG: Momoerty’s Latest

Such a powerful and empowering piece. Take a few moments to read this…

Really? I can’t remember what I had for lunch.

Do you remember your favorite book from childhood?

The only thing I can remember about my childhood reading is the name of two books. Surely I read more; however, their titles escape me presently.

Encyclopedia Brown – Boy Detective (1963)

Though I can’t read anything significant about the book, I can remember my friends and me running around trying to solve mysteries. We had little notebooks filled with ciphers and observations. It was all quite innocent, really, perhaps a little comical even.


The Westing Game (1978)

I can’t recall whether or not I ever finished reading this book, but I remember enjoying the experience. Recently, I considered rereading the book to satisfy the gap in my memory. I’ve been thinking of revisiting some books from the past. I wonder if they will have the same effect they previously had.

A Glance

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

you spend a lifetime
trying to be something
a meaningful entity
you lie to yourself
you believe in those lies
but the truth comes out
it always does, no matter
how you try to hide it.
it hurts like hell, but you swallow it
yum, may I have another, yum
you are so damn disgusting to look at
they can barely stomach a glance.

~thank you for reading~

Tales of Winter

What is your favorite season of year? Why?

There’s something of the winter

Snowball fights and Snow Angels
playing for hours, we never seemed
to get tired. Never seemed to get cold.
Our mothers told us to come inside
and warm up.

There’s something about the winter

There’s a stillness that comes in the winter night
the sir is crisp, it’s chill prickly
Yet, there’s a peacefulness in the hush
though we not know what lurks in the dark.

There’s something about the winter

~thank you for reading~

I Couldn’t Put Them Down

List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?

I laughed when I read this question, then questioned the air, “How in all that is holy, going to limit the list to three.” I paused, waiting for an answer. The air remained silent to spite me. Then I realized I needed to pick three books, not the three that impacted me most. I shook my head, chuckling slightly, remembering that “Reading is Fundamental,” and then began to make a proper list.

After settling on a few parameters, I could narrow things down to twenty. Yes, I know, twenty is not three; I continued trudging forward despite this. Here’s what I have come up with so far. They aren’t listed in the order of importance.

  • The Green Mile – To be haunted by the actions of your past. To see everything you know and love die. To be left on this earth and witness their demise. One realizes the dead were the lucky ones. To feel the blessing of a long life is a curse. Perhaps, a punishment for a hideous act.
  •  Invisible Man – In this novel, we follow the actions of an unnamed protagonist living in a society that chooses not to recognize him as a man. The winner of the National Book Award in 1953, this novel should depict an outdated social construct, but it doesn’t, sadly.
  •  11/22/63 – In this book addresses something we all may have wanted to do from time to time. A chance to go back in time and change something we have done. However, the most powerful part for me, was how it laid out the hazards of time travel. I will continue working on the time machine in my basement.

Three honorable mentions:

  • Count a Lonely Cadence – Taps is still the loneliest sound I have ever heard.
  •  Bad Haircut – It brought back some good memories.
  •  Devil in the Blue Dress – I love the character Easy Rawlins. If I said I read this book seven times, it would be low.

~thank you for reading~

ahh, come again?

If humans had taglines, what would yours be?

I wasn’t exactly sure what taglines meant. I looked it up and discovered it means catchphrase or slogan. Huh, ain’t that something.

So I asked a few friends what they would consider to be my catchphrase. Of course, when you involve humans everything becomes more complicated than it needs to be. After, listening to them chuckle to countless number of catchphrases I subject to blurt out at any moment. I decided I needed to change the question.

If you were eulogizing me, what phrase could you say that everyone would recognize?

Instantly, everyone I asked this question had the same answer. This confused me, surely I figured I would a bit of variety, right? Nope, they had the same answer. They also said it wasn’t so much what I had to say, but how I said it. It was even suggested that I write out my facial expressions so people could get a visual on the effects.

the number friend response is …

Kick Rocks!

I considered their response and asked, “Ahh, come again?”

Well, Let me See?

What are the most important things needed to live a good life?

When it comes to living a good life, there’s really no correct answer to that question. It’s really a subjective matter that depends on the individual. Each individual defines what they consider a good life and what it takes to live it.

It seems like it’s a made-up phrase. A slogan found on a t-shirt or in a fortune cookie. As I sit here writing about this subject and you reading it, does this fit your definition of living a good life? Well, that’s up to you, isn’t it? It certainly feels good writing about it.

My Monster’s Prisoner

I’ve always been held to a higher standard. I’ve never been allowed to release the monster inside. Unbeknownst to the masses, their actions feed him, and he’s full. Due to the fact others don’t live by the standards they set. So, I sit here trapped in a case. For I’m my monster’s prisoner.

~thank you for reading~

Me Scared? You Better Watch Your Mouth!

What fears have you overcome and how?

I’ve spent most of my life conquering fear; at least, I thought so. As a child, we are taught to be tough and not be afraid of anything.

“Are you chicken?”

“What you yella?

Phrases like these quickly appear in my memory when I think of fear. I remember I wanted to be brave, strong, and courageous. For the most part, I feel I accomplished it on some level. I followed the rules and worked hard, volunteering for every crappy assignment to prove to myself and those around me that I feared nothing. Unwittingly, I was actually making a fool of myself. My friends and superiors felt my actions were to curry favor, not prove my courage.

One day in the barracks, I discovered this when I overheard some soldiers discussing my actions. There I was, staring into the face of what I believed to be my greatest fear, mockery. As this continued, I became numb to everything. My attitude damaged my relationship with my wife and children. I had no idea I was suffering from the effects of PTSD. To be honest, I’d never heard of it. Something I regret, I regret it still.

Tragedy and disappointment became my watchwords. However, facing death from something that didn’t carry a rifle became the catalyst of my new mindset. I realized something. I don’t control anything. Then I asked myself, “Why am I trying to conquer an emotion that innate.” So I began to embrace my fear. I took a decade digging into myself, trying to understand my fear. What I figured out was the following:

Once you begin to understand one’s fear, one realizes there is no shame in being afraid. It protects us; keeps us harm.

So, my greatest fear is I’m afraid of being afraid. How I conquered it? I didn’t. I embraced it. Once I accepted this concept, I began to find peace.

The Day I Lost My Courage

SHORT ESSAY – REFLECTION

I never dreamed I had what it took to become a writer. It was more than the usual self-doubt, more like an evaluation of my skills. My mastery of the language was smattering at best. Writing for myself was the only way to feel the joy I desperately desired. My sketches were rudimentary, but I still enjoyed the process occasionally. However, writing is the thing that gets my motor running, as they say. Even after becoming a widower, I kept writing; I began my first novel within the first month. Over the next three years, I took loss after loss. Though wretched like a tsunami with no quarter, I continued to write.

Despite all this tragedy, I created a poetry show and taught workshops about writing poetry. In many ways, my writing career had begun to take off. Then one day, I felt a little off. It felt different than previous experiences of this sort, so I went to the doctor. I was fully prepared to be told I was suffering from several underlining symptoms of my PTSD. It’s peculiar how once you have a diagnosis of something, it becomes the cause of EVERYTHING that ails you. However, today was different; the physician stated

“although unlikely, but it is probable.”

Really, bro? This is how you’re going to start things off? I screamed in my head but gave a tempered response, “I see; when will the test results return?”

A couple days later, I got the news. A confirmation of something I already knew to be true. The doctor had a lot to say, but the only thing I heard was

~You have Cancer~

He was still talking. Still, I heard nothing. Then, my once-decent vocabulary was reduced to one-syllable words.

“Well damn!”

“Fuck!”

“Okay, Okay”

“Fuck!”

The doctor finally stopped talking and ended the call. There was a numbness that took hold, and I can’t quite remember feeling much after that. It seemed as if this feeling was my permanent state for the next couple of years. Even through everything, I was just numb. I befriended people I would never have and shared things usually kept private.

It was as if I didn’t recognize myself. It was me talking to these strangers and sharing these private things. Something was wrong. It wasn’t just me, for I share the wisdom of their secrets in the lines I write. As if it is my duty or something I can’t quite name or describe, to share what is learned in the space between clarity and confusion.

Even now, years later, I can’t tell what I’ve learned. Perhaps, as I write these lines and others like them, lessons will become clear. It took me years to talk about my experience, years to write, and years to share.

I could talk about this experience forever; perhaps I will share more one day. However, for now, I’ll share my feelings about the news that day. Tell you how it stripped away my courage. Slowly tearing away the essence of my existence. I barely wrote a word after that. Somehow, I felt I’d had this coming. I deserved this fate.

Somedays, I hear the echoes of the haunting memories of that man. I’d love to say I’ve shed its torment and walked around free. That wouldn’t be honest. It took me years to regain my courage. With a bit of luck, I can maintain it. We all know luck is all a person needs if their courage holds.

~thank you for reading~

Why do the simplest things mean so much?

How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?

Typically, in conversations like these, I have a long, drawn out story. However, today there is no need for a long bowl when a short one will do.

I can’t imagine a day without reading. Yeah, it’s just that simple. I’ve traveled through time, been around the world, and fell in love without leaving my home office. If I couldn’t write another word, I would just pick up a book. The ability to walk away from a world filled with hollow sentiments and plastic smiles feels amazing. In the words of Tina Turner, “Simply the Best.” To feel that , even if for a little while, means so much.

Extra! Extra! Read all About It.

What jobs have you had?

Like most of us here, we’ve had plenty of jobs before finding the one that stuck. I cringe, thinking about some of the things I did to make money.

However, there is one job I think of fondly. I was a paperboy. If it’s hard to imagine me being a paperboy, let me provide a visual; think of the paperboy in the John Cusack classic “Better Off Dead.”

Let’s take a look, shall we?

Sighs … Me and the gang chasing down deadbeats. The things you remember … The good times…sighs

~thank you for reading~

Diary of a Workaholic (Take 1)

How do you balance work and home life?

I come from a time when workaholics ruled. This isn’t spoken from a place of pride but rather a place where, thinking back, I wish I would have made better decisions about the use of my time. There are events I missed out on. Moments I can’t get back. Though I wish I could, but it doesn’t work that way, does it?

One minute, my daughters are playing with dolls, and next, I’m staring into the face of some goofy-looking chucklehead. Who has the sand to mumble something like

“Nice to meet you, Sir. I’m”

I never seem to catch their names. The wife swore it was because I’m a certified asshole when it came to my daughters. When she first said it, I felt wounded. I’m not an asshole; I’m a dick, asshole, no. One day explained this to her for clarity. Her response,

“Yep, you’re a dick, alright.”

I sighed, feeling vindicated. Then she went into a rant as she walked about something I can’t remember. I read somewhere this happens to people who suffer traumatic events. However, I do remember feeling maybe I should have let that one go, and from that point, asshole was just fine.

I was gone a lot for work, then one day, I became Papaw. The oddest thing. Who is this little creature pulling on your finger because their little hands are so small that’s all they can grab ahold of.

Where did the time go? Man, I learned a great deal about life.; its triumphs and pitfalls. I even had an opportunity on occasion to take part in some and prevent some of the others. I’m an old man trying to do his part to make a difference.

So, when it comes to finding the balance? If you figured it out. I mean really got something, don’t say a word until copyrighted and patented. Then, put it up for sale and become an instant millionaire.

Oh yeah, post your links, so I can get my Pre-order in.

~thank you for reading~

Get Back Here! I’m Not Done with You

POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHT – INSPIRED

The perfect opening line seldom comes at the perfect time,
You’re anything other than being prepared to write
Hang on a second … Hang on!
You’re ready now. Then just like that

Poof

Get back here! I’m not done with you, you shout!

It’s a game we play; between them & us
Such a cruel game

But when it’s good; it’s damn good

There we are, writing
the words are flowing
They fly above your head
each one chirping like birds

Each chirp a note in the unwritten
symphony, and we are the composers

~thank you for reading~

Thanks, Momoetry for the inspiring comment

Let Me Tell You About

POETRY – INTROSPECTION

Let me tell you about
the man trapped inside
the one residing in the bowels of madness

His armor is rusted & dented
but his sword remains sharp
as he grips the hilt, he tastes
the blood of the unhealed wounds
beneath the scars

He’s been in that life for so long
he’s forgotten the other
yet, he wonders, if there’s something else
one day, I will tell him about peace.

~thank for you reading~

Coping Strategies for Anxiety

Introduction

Anxiety is a normal part of life, and everyone experiences it at some point. However, when anxiety becomes excessive and starts interfering with daily activities, it can indicate an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders are among the most common mental health disorders affecting millions worldwide. The good news is that many coping strategies for anxiety can help individuals manage their symptoms and improve their quality of life.

In this blog post, we’ll discuss some of the most effective coping strategies for anxiety that you can implement today.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a type of meditation that involves focusing on the present moment and accepting it without judgment. Studies have shown that practicing mindfulness can help reduce anxiety symptoms and improve overall well-being. Mindfulness can be practiced in many ways, including guided meditation, deep breathing exercises, or simply by paying attention to your thoughts and emotions.

One way to practice mindfulness is to set aside a few minutes daily to focus on your breath. Simply sit or lie down in a quiet place and pay attention to your breath as it enters and leaves your body. Whenever your mind starts to wander, gently bring it back to your breath. With regular practice, mindfulness can become a powerful tool for managing anxiety.

Get Enough Sleep

Sleep has a significant impact on mental health, and lack of sleep can exacerbate symptoms of anxiety. Getting enough sleep each night is essential to help manage anxiety symptoms. Adults should aim for at least 7-8 hours of sleep each night. Developing a consistent sleep schedule and creating a relaxing bedtime routine can also help improve sleep quality.

If you’re having trouble sleeping, there are several things you can try to help improve your sleep quality. Avoid caffeine and alcohol in the evenings, which can interfere with sleep. Ensure your bedroom is cool, dark, and quiet, and avoid using electronic devices in bed. If you continue having trouble sleeping, ask your doctor for additional guidance.

Exercise Regularly

Exercise is an effective coping strategy for anxiety as it helps to release endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Regular exercise can also help reduce anxiety symptoms and improve overall physical health. It doesn’t have to be intense exercise; even light activities like walking or yoga can be helpful. Aim for at least 30 minutes of moderate exercise most days of the week.

If you’re new to exercise, start slowly and gradually increasing your workouts’ intensity and duration. Find an activity that you enjoy, such as dancing, hiking, or swimming, and make it a regular part of your routine. You’ll not only feel better physically, but you’ll also benefit mentally by reducing your anxiety symptoms.

Seek Professional Help

While these coping strategies can be effective, they may not be enough for everyone. If you’re struggling with anxiety, it’s important to seek professional help from a mental health professional. They can provide you with additional coping strategies and tools to manage your symptoms and offer support and guidance as you navigate your anxiety.

Several types of therapy may be helpful for anxiety, including cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), which focuses on changing negative thought patterns, and exposure therapy, which helps individuals confront their fears in a safe and controlled environment. Your mental health professional can help you determine the type of therapy that is best for you.

Conclusion

Anxiety can be challenging to manage, but with the right coping strategies, it is possible to live a fulfilling and productive life. Mindfulness, sleep, exercise, and seeking professional help are just a few strategies to help individuals manage their anxiety symptoms. It’s essential to remember that everyone’s coping strategies may differ, and finding what works best for you is important. Don’t hesitate to ask for help if needed – remember that help is available, and you are not alone.

~thank you for reading~

Understanding Anxiety: Causes, Symptoms, and Coping Strategies

Anxiety is a common mental health issue affecting millions of people worldwide. According to the World Health Organization, anxiety is the most prevalent mental health disorder, with an estimated 1 in 13 people globally suffering from anxiety. Anxiety is a feeling of unease, worry, or fear ranging from mild to severe. The symptoms of anxiety can vary from person to person, and it can affect people from all walks of life.

This blog post aims to provide an understanding of anxiety, its causes, symptoms, and coping strategies.

Causes of Anxiety

Anxiety can be caused by a combination of factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, life experiences, and environmental factors. Some people may be more susceptible to anxiety due to their genetic makeup, while others may develop anxiety due to traumatic life events or ongoing stress. Environmental factors such as work-related stress, financial difficulties, and relationship issues may also contribute to anxiety.

Genetics

Research has shown that anxiety disorders tend to run in families. A person’s genetic makeup may make them more susceptible to developing anxiety disorders.

Brain Chemistry

Imbalances in certain chemicals in the brain, such as serotonin and dopamine, can contribute to the development of anxiety disorders.

Life Experiences

Traumatic life experiences, such as abuse, neglect, or the death of a loved one, can trigger anxiety disorders. Chronic stress from work or personal relationships can also contribute to developing anxiety disorders.

Environmental Factors

Environmental factors such as work-related stress, financial difficulties, and relationship issues may also contribute to anxiety. Exposure to stressful situations or trauma can trigger or worsen anxiety symptoms.

Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety can manifest in various ways, and the symptoms can vary from person to person. Some common symptoms of anxiety include:

  • Excessive worrying
  • Restlessness
  • Irritability
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Muscle tension
  • Insomnia
  • Panic attacks
  • Avoidance behaviors
  • Physical symptoms such as sweating, trembling, and heart palpitations

Coping Strategies for Anxiety

There are several coping strategies for anxiety that can help manage symptoms. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is a type of therapy that can help individuals identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to anxiety. CBT has been shown to be effective in treating anxiety disorders.

Mindfulness meditation, exercise, and relaxation techniques such as deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation can also help reduce anxiety symptoms. Regular exercise, in particular, has been shown to improve mental health and reduce symptoms of anxiety.

Individuals with anxiety can also benefit from making lifestyle changes such as getting enough sleep, eating a healthy diet, avoiding caffeine and alcohol, and engaging in enjoyable activities. These lifestyle changes can help to reduce stress and improve overall well-being.

It is also important to seek professional help if anxiety symptoms are interfering with daily life or if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts. A mental health professional can provide additional support and guidance in managing anxiety symptoms.

Conclusion

Anxiety is a common mental health issue that can significantly impact a person’s quality of life. However, there are effective coping strategies available to manage symptoms. By identifying the causes of anxiety, recognizing symptoms, and utilizing coping strategies, individuals with anxiety can take steps towards improving their mental health and overall well-being. Remember that seeking professional help is not a sign of weakness, but rather a courageous step towards taking control of your mental health.

Complementary Therapies

Complementary therapies have been used for centuries to help manage various health conditions, and their popularity has increased significantly in recent years. Traditional medicine often uses these therapies to help manage symptoms and improve overall well-being. Complementary therapies aim to treat the whole person, not just the symptoms of a particular condition.

Some examples of complementary therapies include:

  • Acupuncture: This involves the use of thin needles inserted into specific points on the body to stimulate the body’s natural healing processes.
  • Massage therapy involves manipulating soft tissues in the body to help reduce muscle tension, improve circulation, and promote relaxation.
  • Herbal medicine: This involves the use of plants or plant extracts to help treat various health conditions.
  • Meditation: This involves the practice of focusing the mind on a particular object, thought, or activity to promote relaxation and reduce stress.

While some complementary therapies have been extensively studied and are supported by scientific evidence, others are not. It’s important to talk to a healthcare professional before trying new treatments to ensure they are safe and appropriate for your specific situation.

One of the benefits of complementary therapies is that they can help manage symptoms and improve overall well-being without medication or invasive procedures. For example, massage therapy can help reduce muscle tension and improve circulation, while meditation can help reduce stress and promote relaxation.

Complementary therapies can be a valuable addition to a comprehensive healthcare plan. However, it’s important to approach them cautiously and do your research before trying new treatments. Some complementary therapies may interact with medications or have side effects, so talking to a healthcare professional before incorporating them into your healthcare plan is important.

In summary, complementary therapies can be a helpful tool in managing various health conditions and improving overall well-being. However, it’s important to approach them cautiously, talk to a healthcare professional before trying new treatments, and do your research to ensure that they are safe and appropriate for your specific situation.

~thank you for reading~

EM … What?

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

Trauma can have a deep and lasting impact on an individual’s life. It can cause various mental health conditions, such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, and phobias. Fortunately, various treatment options are available to help individuals overcome the effects of trauma and live a more fulfilling life. One such treatment is Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

What is EMDR?

EMDR is a psychotherapy technique that was developed in the late 1980s by psychologist Francine Shapiro. It is a structured approach to address distressing memories and experiences, with the aim of reducing their lasting impact on an individual’s life. The therapy has gained popularity recently due to its effectiveness in treating PTSD and other mental health conditions.

How EMDR works

EMDR therapy involves a series of sessions, typically ranging from 6 to 12, where the individual is guided through a sequence of eye movements, sounds, or taps while recalling a distressing memory. The therapy aims to help the individual process these memories, so they no longer have a negative impact on their emotional well-being. It is believed that EMDR therapy works by stimulating the brain’s natural healing processes, allowing the individual to reprocess the traumatic memory and integrate it into their life in a more positive way.

The therapy is not just about eye movements, sounds or taps. The therapist will help the client identify the negative belief about themselves developed from the traumatic event. The client is then asked to identify a positive belief that they would like to have instead of the negative one. The therapist will then help the client to imagine what it would feel like to have the positive belief. The eye movements, sounds, or taps are used while the client is imagining the positive belief. This process is repeated until the client feels an emotional shift from negative to positive beliefs.

EMDR and PTSD

EMDR has been found to be particularly effective in treating PTSD. It is estimated that up to 80% of individuals who receive EMDR therapy for PTSD experience significant improvement in their symptoms. The therapy is believed to help individuals with PTSD by reducing the negative emotions and physical sensations associated with the traumatic memory, allowing them to feel more in control of their thoughts and feelings. EMDR can also help individuals with PTSD develop coping mechanisms to deal with future triggers.

Other applications of EMDR

EMDR is not just for PTSD. It has also been found to be effective in treating a range of mental health conditions, such as anxiety, depression, and phobias. EMDR can help individuals process distressing memories and experiences so they no longer have a negative impact on their emotional well-being. By reducing the negative emotions associated with these memories, individuals can learn to manage their symptoms and live a more fulfilling life.

Conclusion

EMDR therapy is a highly effective treatment for a range of mental health conditions, particularly PTSD. While the therapy may not be suitable for everyone, it is a safe and non-invasive approach to addressing distressing memories and experiences. If you are struggling with PTSD or other mental health conditions, it is important to seek professional help to find the right treatment for you. EMDR therapy may be an effective option to help you overcome your challenges and live a more fulfilling life.

~thank you for reading~

What Time is it?

POETRY – REFLECTION

Ladies and gentleman
I’d like to thank you for coming

In the next few moments,
we will return to 40 years ago.
Then I will speak in a language that
hopefully everyone can easily understand

From my ice cream castle
I stared into the purple rain
While I had starfish and coffee
I saw a bird caught in an oak tree

Prince said he was so confused.
However, I sat chuckling, only slightly amused
He was just another owner of a lonely heart
That’s right; gigolos get lonely too

From that ice cream castle
I saw Judas Priest screaming for vengeance
The death of Orion, some thought was a disposable hero
Yet, Iron Maidens search for a piece of mind, while chanting the call to Ktulu

Benatar chronicles the crimes of passion.
Preparing us for that next anthem
Billie Jean was on the scene and swore she was a thriller
It turns out all she wanted was a little paradise by the dashboard lights

Red leather jacket, a new edition
It got me ready for the world
Man..I was cool, I mean C-O-O-L!
I know I could definitely stand the rain.

I started wondering about that candy girl
What’s her name? What’s her number?
777-9311??? Jenny or 867-5309 ….Roxanne
Oh!! That’s right, that’s right …Sheila.

I left my ice cream castle in the summertime
To meet a concrete blonde in the cold part of town
She started spinning me right round like record
And all I wanted was to find myself a brand new lover

Sh-Sh –Shaking, I fell into a wall of voodoo
Then woke up in Tijuana wanting some barbecue iguana
The next thing I knew, there was a cheap trick
Talking bout if you want my love, you got it

I shook my head. NO!!
Knowing she wasn’t ready for this jungle love
So instead, we drank some brass monkey
Listening to some Mexican radio

Now, back in my ice cream castle
Listening to watermelon man and sipping bitches brew
Thinking they call it Stormy Monday
And Tuesday is just as bad

But

God Bless the child

That got their own….that got their own

WHAT TIME IS IT?


~thank you for reading~

The Rule of Leadership

Are you a leader or a follower?

In my humble opinion, one must be willing and able to follow before they can lead. Leaders are not born; they are developed. For those who have or had the honor of leadership, make no mistake to lead another is a definite honor, you may not be a leader in every situation. Those who don’t understand this concept aren’t ready to lead.

Such is the Rule of Leadership.

Word Salad

POETRY – DAILY PROMPTS/WEEKLY PROMPTS TIED TOGETHER

I’m prosecuted by an unknown authority
I’m convicted on an assumption.
A victim of irrational stereotype
I’m housed in an asylum of tasty jello

There’s no safe harbor, alone in a crowd.
Like an enslaved extraterrestrial
My freedom, My Existence
Outlawed; off limits.

Like a bite of the forbidden fruit
I’m lost in a fog; its dampness feels like velvet.
Hospitality is just as foreign as tranquility.

Yet, I still wander while wondering what I’ll find.
Perhaps, lush words are scattered in thick notebooks.
stuck in old buckets, tucked away willy-nilly in rusty cabinets.

Whew! What a polyoquent doozy!I guess I’ll shut up now.
Has anyone got a beer? I need something to revive me.

~thank you for reading~

Momentary Lapse of Reason

In other words, I lost my damn mind

PROSE – REFLECTION

She could have been here; if she wanted. She could have been here; if it meant something. I knew her words were hollow when she spewed them; I heard their echo, such a haunting sound. Still, I hoped that I was wrong. I hoped what I heard was some psychotic break. Is there a sound you hear when this happens? Is it something dismissed, resolved, or mocked with six hundred dollars an hour, a sofa, and a pill? Yea, you know that shit that gets you hooked, but you need to believe you are free. So I sit here, waiting for the doorbell to chime, waiting to hear that familiar melody. The melody, which ends the silence, ends the loneliness. Yet the silence thickens, and the depths of loneliness have no bounds.

With a click, strike, and spark, the tobacco crackles as I take a drag to forget about the pain.

Yeah, she wanted me to get up and come running. She wanted me to stand in line like the others. Suitors plenty, but real men are few. She wanted me to be someone I had never been. She wanted to be someone; if she took the time to know me, she’d know I could never be. Yet, in her delusion, she wanted me to fall in line, like the wiry snake-eyed fellow whose lips were in a constant state of pucker against her gluteus maximus. Her leg would shudder when he kissed it just right. Often, I wondered if he was part fish, Bluegill. Trout?

Then there was the portly fellow whose clothes were two sizes larger than needed. An attempt to hide his predilection for Ho-Ho’s and Ding-Dong’s, but their melted remnants on his lapel and in the corner of his mouth told the tale. I couldn’t resist imagining him as Wimpy from the old cartoon; I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a Ding-Dong today. Since he was always eating them, I wondered how he pulled it off. But, of course, everyone knew he didn’t have a job.

Perhaps, I was the well-dressed fellow who would unleash this girlish giggle every time he hit the blunt. I couldn’t help but picture him in pigtails with pink ribbons in his mouth, chewing on the ends. He sported a five o’clock shadow like it was still something stylish. Maybe for some, but him not a good look. I couldn’t help but wonder if he was wearing socks with lace around the top. I do believe it would complete the look.

I exhale to relieve the strain. I exhale to let go. I exhale to be one step closer to the sanity to which I cling; I exhale.

But I wasn’t any of them. I was a man whose name was spoken in reverence barely above a whisper. There wasn’t a need to speak; people were satisfied with a nod. I know what it means to love a woman for your entire life and be the better. I know how it feels to grab hold of someone, and they grab you back. Never letting go, hearing what their eyes speak when their mouths fail utter a word. Our bodies trembling from its power, our souls quivering, like the Earth shaking beneath your feet. I know one can only get there with love and respect for one another. No plastic smiles, and hollow sentiments can take their place—an honor reserved for the special and the elite, Real men and women. For anyone else, your attendance is futile. Perhaps, one day she will understand. But I know what I really want to know. What has my curiosity stirring? How the hell did she ever get things so twisted?

I stub the cigarette out; the embers glow bright, then fade, and the smoke dissipates.

I know the answer. I had a momentary lapse of reason.

~thank you for reading~

Poetry & Blueberry Pancakes

SHORT FICTION

It’s Saturday morning, and I’m sleeping in, although I really need it after waiting until the last minute to write an article. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to go back to sleep, but the aroma of freshly brewed Colombian coffee and blueberry pancakes tickles my nostrils. I smile, feeling content. I love blueberry pancakes so much that it’s almost criminal. If I were on death row, my last meal would definitely be blueberry pancakes and chewy chocolate chip cookies. I’d wash it down with a satisfying mug of Colombian coffee. Just thinking about it makes me want to moan with delight.

Then it hit me: I live alone. Who the heck is in my house? So, I armed myself. My bed linen had swallowed my sidearm, so I grabbed a whiffle ball bat. You may wonder why a grown man would have a whiffle ball bat in a word: grandkids. You may also be wondering how a plastic bat would do any damage. It will, I assure you. Let me explain.

I concede that you may not have heard of anyone getting the beatdown with a whiffle ball bat. Simply put, no one would ever admit to this happening to them. Imagine the shame and ridicule they would receive from peers and family. The victims would go to extreme lengths to come up with a backstory to explain their faces being covered in welts. They could even enlist the genius of their cousin, who spun ridiculously plausible stories to get them out of troublesome situations. However, when the cousin looks at them blankly for a moment, they state, “I got nothing.” The victims respond, “Really?” Their cousin hands them a beer and says, “Looks like you need this.” They nod and take a swig.

I walked into the kitchen, ready to do damage, thinking of all the houses on the block and how dare they pick mine. I couldn’t believe my eyes. It was Ursula. Ursula was my muse, who had seen me since the illness. She seemed to disappear without any explanation.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” I asked.

She shot me a puzzled look. “You’re writing again; you need me.”

I leaned against the counter, folding my arms. “Really? I do. It’s not like you’ve been around to know,” I replied.

She paused momentarily before answering; her expression hurt. “Hun, you got sick and started babbling about quitting the game. I didn’t know how to handle it. With Aunt Harry covering the bar, I figured it was a good time to take a holiday.”

“What’s this?” I asked, pointing to the skillet.

She smiled. “Your favorite,” she said, lifting a plate of blueberry pancakes. I took the plate and headed towards the office, but then stopped as I realized something.

“Why do you have a beard?” I asked.

“Hun, you know beards are in fashion now. Don’t be silly,” she remarked.

I stared at her, considering her logic. “But you’re a girl, so go shave,” I demanded, pointing my finger toward the bathroom.

She scoffed as she turned off the skillet, then stormed towards the bathroom, yelling, “Fine…go put some pants on!” over her shoulder as she closed the door.

I stood puzzled momentarily, then realized I was standing in my boxers. I poured myself a cup of coffee and then put the coffee and the pancakes in the office. I slipped on a pair of shorts and began eating my breakfast. I was on my second helping of pancakes when Ursula finally emerged from the bathroom. She was freshly showered, sporting a blank tank top and khaki shorts. Though it had been a while since I had seen her, she still had a banging body and would be considered attractive by most men. However, she had a minor setback. Ursula had lime green skin and crimson eyes that sparkled when her ideas flowed. They were on fire now.

Ursula began explaining her ideas on how we could succeed with the magazine. As she spoke, I stopped eating and started taking notes. I don’t particularly appreciate taking notes on a story but I haven’t found a way to avoid it yet. The more I wrote, the more she spoke. Ursula was typically a pain in the butt and a bit of a slave driver, but it felt good to be working again. So, I groaned inwardly. We were almost done with the layout for the next few months when there was a knock at the door.

I opened the door to find my cousin standing there. Like most family members, he assumed he had an open invitation to my home, arriving unannounced and expecting to be welcomed. He lifted his head, sniffed the air, smacked his lips as if tasting the air, and headed to the kitchen without saying a word. Then, he fixed himself a plate and returned to the front porch, where we typically sit when the weather permits. I brought him a cup of coffee and placed it beside him. As he ate, he occasionally mumbled about how delicious the pancakes were. Ursula sat on the railing and lit a Cohiba, her preferred cigar. Eventually, my cousin finished his pancakes, and we began our usual banter, reminiscing about our mothers and the good old days.

Right on cue, my cousin starts reciting some Don L. Lee. He hits me with, “But He Has Cool,” or “He even stopped for green lights.” My cousin’s rhythm and cadence are second to none. I found myself leaning back in the chair, swaying as he went straight into his rendition of “Big Momma,” another Don L. Lee standard. Ursula also felt him and nearly fell off the banister; I chuckled. I hit him with a medley consisting of “The Poet” by Dunbar and a bit of “The Backlash Blues” by Hughes, capping it off with a dash of “I Know My Soul” by Mckay.

My cousin responds, “Boy, you think you’re bad, don’t you.” “I learned from you; I ought to be!” I remark.

He smiles and hits me with Hayden’s “The Ballad of Nat Turner.” I’m floored; I wasn’t expecting that one. Though Ursula is smiling, she taps her wrist, signaling that we must return to work. I pretend not to notice. My cousin starts reciting “Black Jam for Dr. Negro” by Mari Evans. I wave my hands in defeat but deliver Jean Toomer’s “Georgia Dusk” to make it sting. He’s on fire today, and I need to do something. I think for a moment; then it hits me. I hit him with a double dose of Rilke, starting with “Going Blind” and following up with the prose piece “Faces.” And just for good measure, I slide into the opening sequence of the prologue of Ellison’s “Invisible Man.”

He sat back in the chair and shot me a stern look. “There you go cheating… you know this is poetry only!”

I chuckled with a wide grin. “Oops, my bad.” We burst into laughter.

“Hun, we really need to get back to work!” Ursula exclaims.

I lift my arms in surrender. “Okay… okay, we’re finished, girl… hold on a minute.”

My cousin shoots me a strange look after he looks around the porch. “Cuz, who are you talking to?”

“Ursula, that lime green pain in the butt sitting on the banister,” I state as I point in her direction.

My cousin slowly turns around and looks back at me. “Lime green, huh?”

“Uh-huh… yep.”

His eyes dart in that direction, then back to me. “I don’t see anybody… and you don’t either! What do you have in that cup?”

With a shy smile, I lift my cup. “Colombian,” and take a sip.


Photo by u041eu043bu044cu0433u0430 u041du0443u0440u0443u0442u0434u0438u043du043eu0432u0430 on Pexels.com

~thank you for reading~

Java & Verse #4

Collins Opinion

As we practice and learn about the craft of writing, we sometimes forget what it is we are supposed to be doing when we read a piece. This is especially true when it comes to poetry. We forget to enjoy the words and allow them to resonate within us. In the poem entitled “ Introduction to Poetry,” Billy Collins reminds us of this fact. 

Collins’ Poem is listed below: 

Introduction To Poetry

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

or press an ear against its hive.

I say drop a mouse into a poem
and watch him probe his way out,

or walk inside the poem’s room
and feel the walls for a light switch.

I want them to waterski
across the surface of a poem
waving at the author’s name on the shore.

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means. 

Billy Collins

In the first stanza tells us to examine a poem for what it is. Take a few moments and see what it is to see. Next, he invites us to listen to the sound of the words when they are spoken. There is so much information to be learned just by examining the poem’s surface and listening to how it sounds when spoken aloud. Collins then suggests that we begin to dig a little deeper. He asks us to probe around to see what we can discover. To have no expectations going in. To feel our way around the poem. Letting its energy splash against our faces, enjoying every aspect the poem offers us. Collins cautions us about digging too deep into a poem. Stripping it down to its bare bones, as if it will relinquish the location of the Holy Grail. We all know that the Grail is the heart of those who seek it. Just as the meaning of the poem read. 

The Essence of Morning

POETRY – WEEKLY PROMPT #141; RDP – FILM

Slumber releases me as the glow of the serene sun caresses my face.
Let us lay back for a while longer before we have to move.
Gently, I stroke your hair, listening to the city’s awakening commotion
Your head on my chest, your breathing lures me to the edge of slumber

I’m careful not to move, not to wake you

Your head falls to your favorite spot; the space between
my chest and stomach as you pull the blanket tight.
Your breathing shallows; Your sleep deepens
I exhale this one of those moments you see in film.

~thank you for reading~

Java & Verse #3

Thoughts on the Craft: The Simple Truth about Writing

Five years ago, my production team and I were discussing the direction of our current project. The crew caught the Ole` man on film running my mouth. When I updated this blog, they reminded me of this conversation. So I picked a few key points to share with you. I hope you enjoy it.

Me running my mouth

The conversation concerning self-doubt when it comes to writing has been everywhere. I understand this emotion far more than I care to admit. I struggle with my demons; Butch and Greta are a pain in the ass. I figure if they are going to hang out, stirring up trouble, I might as well name them.

~thank you for reading~

The Measure of Oneself

Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?

I immediately refer to this quote whenever I consider conversations such as these. Due to the current social climate, this quote is a little dated. However, with a few modifications, it fits quite nicely within the current climate. Let’s take a look.

Original

“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius

https://dailystoic.com/waste-no-time-arguing-good-man-one/

Alternate version

“Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be. Be one.”

Now, that’s a little better; let’s get on with the conversation.

I look at this quote as a personal challenge. To dismiss the unwritten standards, for they change depending on region or person, and attempt to conduct myself in a manner befitting how I was raised. From this, I formed the code I live by. The difficulty lies in changes that occur within the individual. Put simply, I don’t feel the same way about things as I mature—circumstances of life change, whether you realize them or not. Nevertheless, I attempt to be the best person I can be within societal limitations or guidelines. Forever cognizant I may fail. Failure is acceptable as long as you retain the wisdom that accompanies it. I must be clear here wisdom accompanies both success and failure.

I also realize someone other than me determines whether I’m a good person. My conduct will be weighed and measured by the people interacting with me. They described what kind of person I am in their description of me to others. If I’m considered a bad person, then I’m as such. If they refer to me as a good person, then I’m a good person. I have no control over their opinion of me. I’m who I am. So, I waste no more time arguing—this action I can control.


Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”

[The New Statesman, February 25, 1933]”,,-― Cyril Connolly

As a writer, I feel this quote should be the standard for writing everything. What am I doing if I’m true to myself in my writing? I can only fulfill the first quote if I’m true to my writing.

This is how I measure myself; no one else. You are who you are and I respect that.

~thank you for reading~

Urksome

POETRY – WORD CHALLENGE – PASTIME

She played with my emotions like it was a pastime
a commercial-free game of the week

She had begun to irk me …

Poor child had no idea.
I don’t do irksome

~thank you for reading~

Desert Moon

POETRY – Memory from ANOTHER TIME

As strangers, we sat there
nervously seeking glances
smiling so hard until our jaws ached

At that moment, nothing was more real to me.
Our hearts, souls, and breathing fell into unison
We were aligned; we were one

Under the Desert Moon

~thank you for reading~

Java & Verse #2

A Brief Look at Imagery

In poetry, imagery is one of the most powerful tools in our toolboxes. If used properly, we can guide our readers precisely where we want them. However, we can also paint just enough of any image to allow them to visualize an experience that relates to them. So, I decided to look at the work of some other poets to gain a deeper understanding of imagery and its uses in poetry.

Today, let’s take a look at a poem by Gary Soto.

Everything Twice

Biology was a set of marble-colored tables

And gas spouts where we bloated up frogs, I thought,

And I thought I had a chance if I bought the book

Early and read it with my lips moving,

Maybe twice, maybe with my roommate half-listening.

I tried chemistry. I tried astronomy,

Which was more like honest-to-goodness math

Than the star of Bethlehem shining down the good news.

I was never good

At science, and so at the beginning of spring

I learned my boredom on the wood desks

Of piss-ant chairs. But when our biology prof came

Into the classroom wiping his mouth,

When he moved a chair out of the way

And still bumped into it, I knew I had a chance.

He was drunk. His bow tie was a twisted-up

Twig and a nest of hair grew

From each ear. I looked to the skeleton

In the corner and smiled. A breeze stirred

And the bones clicked on

Their strings and wire. With the classroom splayed

With sunlight and hope, the students sighed.

A few pencils rolled to the floor –

An easy grade for all. The prof slurred,

“Man was never created equal.” He fumbled at the

Blackboard as he hunted for chalk. When he turned to us,

Chalk dust clung to his face.

For a moment, I don’t think he knew where he was.

He touched his bow tie. He stuck a finger

Into an ear and repeated, “Man was never created equal,”

Took a step and stumbled into chairs. Right then

I knew I didn’t even have to buy the book.

He was already repeating himself. Right there,

I looked out the window and sucked

In the good air of spring. Trees were wagging blossoms

And the like. One petal would sway,

Then another, sway after slight sway,

A repetition that was endless

And beautiful in the uniquely scientific world.

-Gary Soto

It is interesting how Soto connected the poem’s first two lines to the last two. As if he wrote them initially as a complete stanza. When read together, it has the feel of a single consciousness.

Biology was a set of marble-colored tables

And gas spouts where we bloated up frogs, I thought,

A repetition that was endless

And beautiful in the uniquely scientific world.

However, we can see the thought’s expansion or elaboration by breaking them apart.

In this piece, Soto elaborates on this experience with image-driven depiction. Soto also uses summary imagery throughout the poem. Early in the poem, we see something remarkable. It is as if we are in the haze of the morning. Lost in the mundane repetitiveness of life is displayed well here. Each of us remembers, rereading the science books. Almost the author purposely wrote, so we had to read everything twice to get the slightest idea of what was happening.

Early and read it with my lips moving,

Maybe twice, maybe with my roommate half-listening.

I tried chemistry. I tried astronomy,

Which was more like honest-to-goodness math

Than the star of Bethlehem shining down the good news.

I was never good

At science, and so at the beginning of spring

I learned my boredom on the wood desks

Of piss-ant chairs

In the next portion of the piece, Soto shifts gear a bit. Better stated, he zooms in on the professor. He provides crisp and clear images of the mannerisms of the instructor. In this section, he zooms in and out, letting us know which portions of the story are important. Then his attention shifts or slides to the actions happening outside the class. He begins daydreaming about the beauty of nature. Then, he closes his thoughts.

In this, I enjoyed how Soto described everything twice in the piece. Showing us how things in life can be viewed from two different perspectives

Never give up; Never Surrender

RANDOM THOUGHT – A RANT? – PEP TALK?

I write these words for an unknown reason. Something keeps gnawing at me to speak, but I do not know what. Yet, I’m sure many writers have faced this exact issue, not knowing what to say or how to say it. I recall long ago when I decided writing was something I was passionate about doing for the rest of my life. Also, I remember feeling no one wanted to hear what I had to say. So I wrote my thoughts, dreams, ideas, and fears in a notebook. I hid its contents from the world. If I am being honest, I hid them from myself. The instance I doubted myself, I became defeated. A player in a rigged game, and I didn’t even know the rules.

Back then, you seldom heard words like; depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem. However, I remember phrases like, “Stop being a pussy” or “Get your shit together.” Today, people attempt to listen to the problems we face. It’s kind of nice. Anxiety, depression, and other mental issues are real. We must, as a people and society, respect them. Witnessing people getting the help they need and being true to themselves is beautiful. Yet, like everything, we go a little overboard if people let us. Somehow, amidst all the self-imposed crap, I kept writing. I’m not even sure how or why.

I kept looking for external validation of my talent. As if I needed someone to walk up to me and say, “Man, you’re one hell of a writer.” Yes, of course, this happens. Sometimes comments, reviews, and other accolades are plenty and fulfilling. However, what do we do when they don’t come? Your inbox is empty, and a deafening silence surrounds you. People you’ve asked to read your work avoid you. They are swamped now, “They haven’t had the time to read.” Or they give you, my favorite, the delicious lie. “My God, your work was amazing. I couldn’t stop reading. I read everything on site.” This utterance is coupled with a plastic smile and hollow sentiment. 

What do you do?

You turn to a blank page and pick up a pen. Then, write your ass off. Whatever it is you’re feeling. Let it fly. Write the good, the bad, and the ugly. Tell it straight and write true. Let no one tell you any different, and when they do, simply look at them, and say, “Yahoo…Kiss my Grits!” Flo would be proud. No matter what, keep writing. It may not turn out you make it to The NY Times bestseller list. Or you may never win a covenant prize. However, what you have done is tell a portion of your story. I hope you realize this happens in every story we write. Don’t worry about it, and it’s okay; it’s just fine.

Sometimes my journal is my confessional, and my readers are my priests. Yet, some things chronicled within those pages are mine, and I bear their weight alone as we do with certain things. My method or ideas aren’t for everyone, but writing them, and getting that crap out of my head, has kept me on this side of the veil. Where I have the hope of happiness, the urge for acceptance, and the whisper of redemption, I speak of it too loud; it may become vapor.

Somewhere in these words, I suppose, is a message to you, the reader, a pep talk of sorts. Yet, as I finish the closing sentence, this is nothing more than a pep talk to myself. I hope I listen.

~thank you for reading~

In the stillness I can find my way

When do you feel most productive?

I’ve asked myself this question numerous times during my life, I never allow myself to honestly answer the question. Generally, I agree with whatever trending topic at the time. I did this because I didn’t want to be the person who went against the group.

As I wrote the previous sentence, I realized something. I’ve never been that person. I’ve always been a rebel, if you will, against anything I deemed foolish.

In the stillness of any time of the day, I can find my way of doing anything. What I mean by the stillness is quiet, tranquil, and relaxing. I do my best work during these times of the day. I suppose the reason is simple I’m able to think.

~thank you for reading~

Truth be Told…

Prose – Introspective

Truth be told, it was never about going to some show. It was about seeing your gorgeous smile and feeling those arms wrapped around me. It’s been a long couple of weeks, and they feel so good. I want to scream in the anguish of missing them, missing you, but these lips will never utter a word.

In that moment, I will let my guard down and allow the warmth of you to soothe me.

In that moment, I forget about being cool and allow myself to enjoy the feeling of holding a beautiful woman in my arms. I will be cognizant of the fact that she is allowing herself to be held.

Forgive me for being mushy, but I thought we were past the greasy kid’s stuff, and we were somewhere in the middle of something. I’m not sure where something is, not this, seriously?

Perhaps, we should do what grown folks do?

Grown folks sit down and have a conversation about the things that matter to one another. Whether or not we want to hear what is being said. We sit there and allow each other to voice our concerns until all that remains are long looks and easy smiles.

~thank you for reading~

A Moment of Desperation

PROSE – RANDOM THOUGHT

Perhaps I’ve reached an all-time low. I spent considerable time sending out a barrage of inbox marriage proposals. In these proposals, I removed the obligation of sex, hoping to sweeten the pot. I figured taking sex off the table would increase the number of acceptance. I figured surely one of these candidates would say yes, right? The next morning, my inbox was overflowing with responses. However, all I got in the inbox was filled with laughter.

I received several images of women’s reactions to my proposal. I even got a sexually explicit image with block letters informing me I would never get what was displayed in the image. Sitting back, thinking as I closed my laptop, the whole affair was rather hilarious—the idea of someone marrying a guy like me.

The longest goodbye; I will never say

As it stands right now,
I can’t be with you.
I think too much of myself.
I have too much pride in who worked to become

In order to be with you, I must cease to be the man I am.
I must allow myself to be disrespected.
I must forget all that I know about; what it is to be a man
I must forget all that I know about love; how it makes me feel

I must cease to care about my well-being; for I no longer matter
I must be willing to surrender my will to another; without question
I will do all these things to prove my love.
Willingly change who I am; because I love you that much.

Hmm… You aren’t even willing to change a dress for me.
So how much did you really love me?

I don’t know

So, I offer the longest goodbye to myself.

~thank you for reading~

Boy! What’s that Sh** on your lip, dirt?

My first day in the military

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

I was excited and a little nervous; despite all the warnings, I decided to strike out independently and join the military. Talking about risk, I have never been one who would blindly follow anyone. I’d seen Officer and a Gentleman; I knew I couldn’t stand someone yelling in my face. However, I had to do something with my life. The Madre had busted her butt, getting ready for manhood. Hanging out on the couch wasn’t on the curriculum.

Hell yeah, I’m to get to ride on a plane. This is going to be cool, turned into what have I got myself into? In about 15 minutes. No one said anything about the hazards of flying.

“The time of your life!” they said

“Travel the world!” they said

HA! Let me be clear: if traveling the world meant getting back on one of these things, I was to become the epitome of a couch potato. Okay, maybe not a couch potato; I was willing to do anything that didn’t involve flying.

Fortunately, there was a very nice woman who took pity. She helped through what I considered to be pending death. She talked about her family and where she goes. Before long, I had forgotten my fears and laughed at her stories. I even told a few of my own. Then we started our final approach.

I survived the first flight, and they put me on a twin-engine plane. This was my introduction to turbulence.

“Lord, I’m sorry. (Sniff, sniff), Can you see your way to forgiving me?” I begged

Crickets

“If you can’t …take me now, Lord, just take me now!” I begged

This became my mantra for the remainder of the flight. Since I’m writing this, you can figure out things turned out fine.

After a bus trip, I finally arrived at the military base. Now, I’m definitely nervous. The largest man I had seen in my life was standing under a dim light staring at me. I’m standing there holding everything I own in the world, regretting everything at that moment.

“Boy, what’s that shit on your lip, dirt?” He asked,


Well, that’s now me taking a huge risk that changed my life for the better. I have no regrets…

~thank you for reading~

Things that Happen in the Shadows

The Shadow Journal

March 8, 2023

Truth or Happiness? Never both …

The first time I heard this phrase, I thought it fell into the hukum jazz people say. Yeah, but something about it grabbed hold of me. So, I sat down and let it speak. I felt ready with a pack of Luckies and a cup of java. I added a notebook and pen, just in case. Because you never know what will happen when you sift through fragments of random memories.

Taught to carefully example each fragment; I’m a dutiful student. I came up with the following:

The truth; the world is full of lies we are willing to accept.

Society acts as if we are okay when poverty is an addiction, and there’s rehab on every corner. Right next to the package store and across the street from the church.

On the bench at the bus stop was a man with a two-tone beard singing a melody of the Pretenders, Tom Petty, and ELO with a Gregory Issac flavor. A member of “the gap,” those who make too much money for benefits and not enough to live, stares straight into the madness of their existence.

Perhaps, Denial and Distraction are Huey Lewis’s new drug. Take a hearty dose of Denial, a familiar favorite, while waiting in line for the latest and greatest in distraction served happily in this free tablet.

~thank you for reading~

The thing that was supposed to be easy, but it’s not!

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

A few months back, I was talked into something; if I had thought about I would have never done it. However, my lady has a way of getting me to do whatever. She simply shows me her elbows, and I’m putty.


She wanted me to increase my online presence. “It will be easy,” “Tweet a couple of things – make a couple of posts,” she said. Like I ordered a pizza with pineapples on one side or a cheeseburger with extra cheese. Though I was filled with skepticism, I relented. This time she gave me that enchanting gaze she used to get to kill a spider when we first met. Still putty. So I upped my Twitter game, regaining the followers I lost. I know this process is ridiculously simple, but it was only the beginning.

At the end of February, I breathed life into my blog and shifted things around on other sites. I discovered I needed to learn about marketing, SEO, trends, and all other things I didn’t believe mattered when working on a blog. As I researched blogging, most of the articles weren’t about writing. I found this to be odd, especially since some research was provided by writers.


This week marks just over sixty days of consistent blogging. I learned so much in the last 48 hours, not to mention the last 60 days. I can’t wait to see what adventures are in store. I’m having a wonderful time writing and growing as a writer and content creator. Man, it is hard work, yet very rewarding.

This has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Thank you, everyone, for reading!

Thanks, babe, for the nudge.


Images courtesy of Leroy SkalstadGerd Altmann. and webvilla from Pixabay . Collage by Mangus Khan

Sounding my poetic yelp!

How do you use social media?

Lost within the traps of my mind
Crazy, because I placed them
to protect me from the madness

running from trap to trap
like, I’m hooked on pain
my screams melodic

Every line I write
another attempt to release
the pain coursing through me

SO…

I write the blues
because I lived them
facing the everlasting memories

Don’t think less of me
if all I can do is sit here and cry
without you, who am I supposed to me

My words come from my soul
of all the things I do wrong
this is the only thing you can’t deny

Do you remember me,
like I remember you?

The night you came to me
back when we were just friends
back when all we were was an unspoken desire

By the state of you
I had no idea where you had been
I had no idea what you needed

You leaned into me and started to cry
My love could comfort you
all you had to do was let me try

in Frustration

I silently scream

Now, I sound my poetic yelp!


~thank you for reading~

Polite

POETRY

I’ve become painfully aware
of something

All this time
I thought
I knew
I believed

I was hilarious

NOPE
I’m not

People were laughing
by God

All this time
People laughing
Were just being

Polite