A place where I post unscripted, unedited, soulless rants of a insomniac madman
Are you a leader or a follower?
In my humble opinion, one must be willing and able to follow before they can lead. Leaders are not born; they are developed. For those who have or had the honor of leadership, make no mistake to lead another is a definite honor, you may not be a leader in every situation. Those who don’t understand this concept aren’t ready to lead.
Such is the Rule of Leadership.
POETRY – DAILY PROMPTS/WEEKLY PROMPTS TIED TOGETHER
I’m prosecuted by an unknown authority
I’m convicted on an assumption.
A victim of irrational stereotype
I’m housed in an asylum of tasty jello
There’s no safe harbor, alone in a crowd.
Like an enslaved extraterrestrial
My freedom, My Existence
Outlawed; off limits.
Like a bite of the forbidden fruit
I’m lost in a fog; its dampness feels like velvet.
Hospitality is just as foreign as tranquility.
Yet, I still wander while wondering what I’ll find.
Perhaps, lush words are scattered in thick notebooks.
stuck in old buckets, tucked away willy-nilly in rusty cabinets.
Whew! What a polyoquent doozy!I guess I’ll shut up now.
Has anyone got a beer? I need something to revive me.
What do you do to be involved in the community?
When it comes to being involved in community
it boils down to this
We our brothers and sisters in the struggle; doing with what we can to
stand above the churn.
The churn gives not one iota, who you are, where you come from, nor the color of your skin. It will scoop your ass with no quarter.
Put simply
Life is tough enough, without any additional nonsense. So, let’s help one another the best we can.
Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
I immediately refer to this quote whenever I consider conversations such as these. Due to the current social climate, this quote is a little dated. However, with a few modifications, it fits quite nicely within the current climate. Let’s take a look.
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius
https://dailystoic.com/waste-no-time-arguing-good-man-one/
“Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be. Be one.”
Now, that’s a little better; let’s get on with the conversation.
I look at this quote as a personal challenge. To dismiss the unwritten standards, for they change depending on region or person, and attempt to conduct myself in a manner befitting how I was raised. From this, I formed the code I live by. The difficulty lies in changes that occur within the individual. Put simply, I don’t feel the same way about things as I mature—circumstances of life change, whether you realize them or not. Nevertheless, I attempt to be the best person I can be within societal limitations or guidelines. Forever cognizant I may fail. Failure is acceptable as long as you retain the wisdom that accompanies it. I must be clear here wisdom accompanies both success and failure.
I also realize someone other than me determines whether I’m a good person. My conduct will be weighed and measured by the people interacting with me. They described what kind of person I am in their description of me to others. If I’m considered a bad person, then I’m as such. If they refer to me as a good person, then I’m a good person. I have no control over their opinion of me. I’m who I am. So, I waste no more time arguing—this action I can control.
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”
[The New Statesman, February 25, 1933]”,,-― Cyril Connolly
As a writer, I feel this quote should be the standard for writing everything. What am I doing if I’m true to myself in my writing? I can only fulfill the first quote if I’m true to my writing.
This is how I measure myself; no one else. You are who you are and I respect that.
What gives you direction in life?
I was taking night courses working on my degree back when that was a thing when I exploded on the instructor during a lecture. She made a comment about the intent of man during times of war. Looking back, I realize it was merely a generalization, a device I’ve had on numerous occasions then and now. However, her words were like white-hot searing to my depths that night. This incident may have been the beginning of my psychosis.
My emotional wounds of war were still fresh, and I overreacted. The next morning, I was summoned to my Commander to answer for my conduct. Though filled with shame, I had nothing to say in my defense. I stood firm and took the verbal assault I had coming until my entire being felt as hollow as my soul. Then the oddest thing occurred.
They sent me to get help…
On this day, I heard the letters for the first time. Nonsense, rubbish, bullocks, “Get the F*@K outta here, wit dat!” And other such phrases were my expression. Knowing me, I probably said them and more. Yet, the counselor remained steady and explained my plight.
I felt better when leaving their office. Better than I had in a very long time.
I never saw them again…
Decades later, I’m destroyed by these four letters, consumed by them. It was the first time I had the courage to utter them without disdain. Yet, having applied to me, I bore the weight of their shame.
P
T
S
D
Everyone involved said its okay, but their expressions said otherwise. Their whispers were louder than an announcement over speakers. The Memoirs of Madness had been started for years, and now I know the name of my affliction provided the memoirs’ direction. Writing the memoirs provides my direction. They provide a smidgen of peace.
Things are better now, I can say those letters. I have accepted, and with understanding, I can move forward.
When do you feel most productive?
I’ve asked myself this question numerous times during my life, I never allow myself to honestly answer the question. Generally, I agree with whatever trending topic at the time. I did this because I didn’t want to be the person who went against the group.
As I wrote the previous sentence, I realized something. I’ve never been that person. I’ve always been a rebel, if you will, against anything I deemed foolish.
In the stillness of any time of the day, I can find my way of doing anything. What I mean by the stillness is quiet, tranquil, and relaxing. I do my best work during these times of the day. I suppose the reason is simple I’m able to think.
Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.
I was excited and a little nervous; despite all the warnings, I decided to strike out independently and join the military. Talking about risk, I have never been one who would blindly follow anyone. I’d seen Officer and a Gentleman; I knew I couldn’t stand someone yelling in my face. However, I had to do something with my life. The Madre had busted her butt, getting ready for manhood. Hanging out on the couch wasn’t on the curriculum.
Hell yeah, I’m to get to ride on a plane. This is going to be cool, turned into what have I got myself into? In about 15 minutes. No one said anything about the hazards of flying.
“The time of your life!” they said
“Travel the world!” they said
HA! Let me be clear: if traveling the world meant getting back on one of these things, I was to become the epitome of a couch potato. Okay, maybe not a couch potato; I was willing to do anything that didn’t involve flying.
Fortunately, there was a very nice woman who took pity. She helped through what I considered to be pending death. She talked about her family and where she goes. Before long, I had forgotten my fears and laughed at her stories. I even told a few of my own. Then we started our final approach.
I survived the first flight, and they put me on a twin-engine plane. This was my introduction to turbulence.
“Lord, I’m sorry. (Sniff, sniff), Can you see your way to forgiving me?” I begged
Crickets
“If you can’t …take me now, Lord, just take me now!” I begged
This became my mantra for the remainder of the flight. Since I’m writing this, you can figure out things turned out fine.
After a bus trip, I finally arrived at the military base. Now, I’m definitely nervous. The largest man I had seen in my life was standing under a dim light staring at me. I’m standing there holding everything I own in the world, regretting everything at that moment.
“Boy, what’s that shit on your lip, dirt?” He asked,
Well, that’s now me taking a huge risk that changed my life for the better. I have no regrets…
Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.
A few months back, I was talked into something; if I had thought about I would have never done it. However, my lady has a way of getting me to do whatever. She simply shows me her elbows, and I’m putty.
She wanted me to increase my online presence. “It will be easy,” “Tweet a couple of things – make a couple of posts,” she said. Like I ordered a pizza with pineapples on one side or a cheeseburger with extra cheese. Though I was filled with skepticism, I relented. This time she gave me that enchanting gaze she used to get to kill a spider when we first met. Still putty. So I upped my Twitter game, regaining the followers I lost. I know this process is ridiculously simple, but it was only the beginning.
At the end of February, I breathed life into my blog and shifted things around on other sites. I discovered I needed to learn about marketing, SEO, trends, and all other things I didn’t believe mattered when working on a blog. As I researched blogging, most of the articles weren’t about writing. I found this to be odd, especially since some research was provided by writers.
This week marks just over sixty days of consistent blogging. I learned so much in the last 48 hours, not to mention the last 60 days. I can’t wait to see what adventures are in store. I’m having a wonderful time writing and growing as a writer and content creator. Man, it is hard work, yet very rewarding.
This has been one of the best decisions I have ever made.
Thank you, everyone, for reading!
Thanks, babe, for the nudge.
Images courtesy of Leroy Skalstad, Gerd Altmann. and webvilla from Pixabay . Collage by Mangus Khan
How do you use social media?
Lost within the traps of my mind
Crazy, because I placed them
to protect me from the madness
running from trap to trap
like, I’m hooked on pain
my screams melodic
Every line I write
another attempt to release
the pain coursing through me
SO…
I write the blues
because I lived them
facing the everlasting memories
Don’t think less of me
if all I can do is sit here and cry
without you, who am I supposed to me
My words come from my soul
of all the things I do wrong
this is the only thing you can’t deny
Do you remember me,
like I remember you?
The night you came to me
back when we were just friends
back when all we were was an unspoken desire
By the state of you
I had no idea where you had been
I had no idea what you needed
You leaned into me and started to cry
My love could comfort you
all you had to do was let me try
in Frustration
I silently scream
Now, I sound my poetic yelp!
What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?
To me, this is a loaded question. Like there is just one place on this Earth, you would like to avoid. As if you randomly hear of a place and automatically decide never to travel there ever. Since I have traveled a great deal in my life, the question could be, where in the world you never want to visit again.
However, since that isn’t the question, I suppose I should act right and answer the question straight. HA! Anyone, who knows me, knows as an absolute certainty, except on the rarest occasions, I will not answer a writing prompt straight. Today is no exception.
So, here we are without any further preamble. I humbly present …
Places with strange names:
Places that may have Cannibalism in their history:
Normally, this would be a thing, but I was planning a vacation with my lady, and she had a list of disqualifiers. Cannibalism was on the list. I can’t say this request is completely unreasonable. I’m a big guy. I have concerns. With a little googling, these names stuck out to me.
Places with a large monkey population:
While you are shaking your head at my response. You know you heard of Planet of the Apes, both versions; don’t play with me. Monkeys like to throw things at people. I’ve been a person who enjoyed things being thrown at them. I know me; I don’t do animal cruelty. So, it’s just best I stay away. These places stood out.
There you have it, my Top 3 of my bucket list of places not to go to ever.
What book could you read over and over again?
Several books fall into this category. For me, the requirements to reread a book are simple, but they seem to evolve each time I read it. It’s almost like the book in question casts a spell on me, or a post-hypnotic suggestion is cleverly placed within the crevasses of my mind. Whereby I become the book’s slave, hopelessly doing its bidding. Despite the throws of my addiction, I’ve narrowed the list to only a few, but I’ll try to speak about one. Please be mindful that I did say try in case I fail at this endeavor.
So, the book I can and have read on multiple occasions is “The Green Mile” by Stephen King. This book isn’t the only book I have read multiple times and would read again without provocation, but it isn’t my favorite in this category. However, I have several reasons why I reread this book, but I will only list the main ones.
What draws me to The Green Mile is the idea this could actually happen. To me, King outdid himself in telling this story. Its structure and style is some of his best work. The themes tackled in this novel moved me. Some are subtle, while others slap you in the face. Lastly, I think this novel is just damn good. If I said I read this novel five times, it would be low.
Memoirs of Madness 