The Hardest Decision Was Saying Yes to Myself

Daily writing prompt
What’s the hardest decision you’ve ever had to make? Why?

The hardest decision I’ve made recently wasn’t life-or-death. It was deciding to release my work—actually release it. Not hide it in drafts. Not polish it into oblivion. Not drop something small into the void and pretend I didn’t care about the silence afterward. The real battle wasn’t skill or imagination. It was belief—my own.

And I had reason to hesitate. I’d put work out before, here and there. A story, an image, a thought I didn’t mind people ignoring. And they did. The response was minimal or nonexistent, and that kind of quiet gets inside your head. It feeds every story you whisper to yourself at three in the morning: Why do I bother? What does it take to keep going? No one’s reading me anyway. Silence is its own kind of confirmation bias. It tells you you’re forgettable long before you ever get a chance to be known.

Then 2024 hit, and everything went sideways. I was terribly ill—bent, shaken, barely holding myself upright some days. But the blog? Strange as it sounds, it became the one place that felt sane. Real. Safe. My body was chaos, but the work gave my mind somewhere to breathe. I didn’t write because I was inspired. I wrote because it was the only steady ground I had left to stand on.

2025 rolled in with its own question mark hanging over my head. I’d survived—but now what? Who the hell was I supposed to be after everything? No grand gestures; those are just New Year’s resolutions dressed up in fancier language. We make them because we mean well, but half the time we don’t say them out loud. Not because they’re secret—shhh, G-14 classified—but because if we fail, at least the failure stays private. No ridicule. No audience.

Still, I was creating. Since 2023, I’d been grinding like a madman, pushing out content as if volume alone could outrun doubt. But earlier this year, something shifted. I slowed down. I started choosing quality over quantity. Fewer posts, deeper ones. Work that actually had weight. And the analytics—when they finally came—didn’t just pat me on the back. They confirmed it. Memoirs of Madness has had its best year ever. I’m proud of the work, sure. But what hits harder are the unexpected relationships that have come out of this place. That’s the real measure of success. Connection. Not clicks.

Only after all that did I look back at why I never trusted the praise from friends and family. It wasn’t that I doubted their honesty. It’s just that love carries a bias. It’s like being the most beautiful woman in four counties. Everyone knows it, everyone agrees. She leaves home expecting doors to swing open—only to find herself in a city where everyone is beautiful and suddenly she’s average. Not any less beautiful, just no longer exceptional by default. Creative praise works the same way. When the only eyes on your work are the ones already in your corner, it’s easy to confuse affection with validation. And easier still to hide behind that confusion.

But the last seven or eight months changed everything. I kept showing up. The work matured. The engagement grew. Strangers—people with no stake in my ego—connected with pieces I almost didn’t release. It wasn’t validation I was chasing. It was proof that the work could stand in bigger rooms. And for the first time, it could.

Releasing my work wasn’t the victory. That was just the surface.


The real decision—the hard one—was finally trusting that it belonged in the world.
Once I chose that, the rest started falling into place.

17 thoughts on “The Hardest Decision Was Saying Yes to Myself

  1. Standing ovation for making these decisions. Without those choices this fan may have never discovered your greatness.

    I never allowed anyone to read my blogs outside of my Facebook friends if I was brave enough to post. A few months back I decided to branch out and found this community. Your works were the very first pieces I found. I was literally blown away. Each day I incorporate at least one of your pieces into my day.

    I am grateful for your gifts. Promise me you’ll continue to share. I know we will all be waiting for more.

    Kiki

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Mangus, I appreciate you sharing your journey about it. I very much enjoy reading your writing and have been so amped over reading some of your music reviews. I’d read more of your writing except for the time element. I’m glad you finally realize it is time to release your writing and know it is good and just how good it is.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. This is a powerful testament to the real creative journey. What struck me most is the honesty. I’ve experienced the same struggle. The real courage isn’t in writing—it’s in refusing to hide the work anymore. People always respond to that kind of humble self-honesty.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I hear you. I felt the same way about my work for many years. I wondered why I bothered and if anyone would like it.

    I’m glad you pressed forward. I’m sorry you had health issues and I’m glad you’re doing well now. You have something to give the world. They need your voice in it.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey, i hear you, and pain is sometimes….. unbearable, but that is why your viewers are out here, to support you, look at your work, and your work means a lot, I wanted to thank you for what you do and simply being you, you have value because you are simply, you.

    Like

  6. Great post! 😎❤️ The part about unexpected relationships was spot on. I’ve met so many talented, kind and interesting people on WP 🙂

    Like

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