Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?
I immediately refer to this quote whenever I consider conversations such as these. Due to the current social climate, this quote is a little dated. However, with a few modifications, it fits quite nicely within the current climate. Let’s take a look.
Original
“Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be. Be one.” – Marcus Aurelius
https://dailystoic.com/waste-no-time-arguing-good-man-one/
Alternate version
“Waste no more time arguing what a good person should be. Be one.”
Now, that’s a little better; let’s get on with the conversation.
I look at this quote as a personal challenge. To dismiss the unwritten standards, for they change depending on region or person, and attempt to conduct myself in a manner befitting how I was raised. From this, I formed the code I live by. The difficulty lies in changes that occur within the individual. Put simply, I don’t feel the same way about things as I mature—circumstances of life change, whether you realize them or not. Nevertheless, I attempt to be the best person I can be within societal limitations or guidelines. Forever cognizant I may fail. Failure is acceptable as long as you retain the wisdom that accompanies it. I must be clear here wisdom accompanies both success and failure.
I also realize someone other than me determines whether I’m a good person. My conduct will be weighed and measured by the people interacting with me. They described what kind of person I am in their description of me to others. If I’m considered a bad person, then I’m as such. If they refer to me as a good person, then I’m a good person. I have no control over their opinion of me. I’m who I am. So, I waste no more time arguing—this action I can control.
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.”
[The New Statesman, February 25, 1933]”,,-― Cyril Connolly
As a writer, I feel this quote should be the standard for writing everything. What am I doing if I’m true to myself in my writing? I can only fulfill the first quote if I’m true to my writing.
This is how I measure myself; no one else. You are who you are and I respect that.
Memoirs of Madness 
Sometimes I get sick of doing the right thing, because it is hardly the easy thing.
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Exactly, doing the right thing comes without praise or glory. However, you get plenty of ridicule. There’s that. But seriously, at the end of the day, if you are true to yourself, your honor remains in tack. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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As much as doing the right thing may be okay, it also leaves you defeated. The irony of an empty victory! Thanks for putting it into writing.
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Well said. Thank you for reading and commenting
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Sticking with stoics, Epictetus said “you will be victorious, if you never enter any contest where the issue does not wholly depend on yourself” I chose opinion prisons instead of just looking at who I was and being better than her, and continuing. And you are right, I have no control over opinions, so why be constricted by them? It is so much easier to breathe and be when I don’t care who (likely isn’t even) looking at me.
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Well said. Thank you. I enjoy your work BTW
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I totally forgot to respond to this – thank you so much. It really means a lot to me.
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