Changing The Past by Donna

The past is the past for a reason.
That is where it is supposed to stay,
But some cannot let it go.
In their heads it eats away

Until all their focus becomes
The person they used to be,
The mistakes they made in their life.
Oh, if only they could see

That you cannot change what happened,
No matter how hard you try,
No matter how much you think about it,
No matter how much you cry.

What happens in your lifetime
Happens for reasons unknown,
So you have to let the cards unfold.
Let your story be shown.

Don’t get wrapped up in the negative.
Be happy with what you have been given.
Live for today not tomorrow.
Get up, get out, and start living,

Because the past is the past for a reason.
It’s been, and now it is gone,
So stop trying to think of ways to fix it.
It’s done, it’s unchangeable; move on.

Donna. “Changing The Past.” Family Friend Poems, July 6, 2011.

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Personal Reflection

One of the cruelest habits of the human mind is replay.

The conversation you should have handled differently.
The relationship you stayed in too long.
The words you regret saying.
The opportunities you missed because fear sounded safer than risk.

Long after the moment has passed, the mind keeps reopening the file as if enough thinking might somehow rewrite the ending.

That’s the emotional truth sitting underneath this poem.

Not just regret—but fixation.

The exhausting belief that if we revisit the past often enough, we might finally negotiate a different outcome with memory itself.

But memory is rarely interested in compromise.

It preserves moments exactly where they hurt the most. And if we are not careful, we begin living backward—measuring the present against former versions of ourselves, former mistakes, former pain.

The poem pushes against that instinct directly.

Not by denying regret exists, but by questioning how much life we sacrifice trying to repair what cannot be undone.

That’s difficult because regret often disguises itself as responsibility. We tell ourselves:

• “I’m just reflecting.”
• “I’m trying to understand.”
• “I need closure.”

Sometimes that’s true.

Other times we are simply punishing ourselves repeatedly for being human.

And being human means making mistakes with limited wisdom at the time. It means not always recognizing the importance of a moment until it has already become memory.

The poem’s reminder is simple but necessary:

You cannot build a future while permanently living in revision mode.

At some point, healing requires acceptance—not approval of what happened, not pretending pain was beneficial, but acceptance that the past no longer changes simply because we keep arguing with it internally.

That’s where freedom begins.

Not in forgetting.
Not in erasing.

In loosening your grip on the impossible task of undoing.

Because life keeps moving whether we emotionally move with it or not.

And perhaps the saddest thing isn’t the mistakes we made years ago.

It’s how many years we sometimes lose refusing to stop reliving them.

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Reflection Prompts

• What memory do you revisit most often, and what are you hoping will change?
• Have you confused self-punishment with accountability?
• What part of your life is waiting for you to finally stop looking backward?