Confessions of a Horrible Student

What was your favorite subject in school?

DAILY PROMPT RESPONSE – CREATIVE NON-FICTION/FICTION – MAYBE A LITTLE OF BOTH

I could lie here, but I won’t. I could spin a fantastic but believable yarn about something that has nothing to do with the question. I’m a fiction writer; it’s what I do. You know, it’s my jam. One might even say it was my birthright. There are several writers in my family and all. I love learning. But school? I needed that like I needed another hole in my head. So, like any other flagrantly bored kid, I became a miscreant. A chatterbox, class clown, or any other thing I could think of that keeps me entertained. I considered my antics to be my responsibility to keep things lively. Until one day, my actions had reached their limit.

My mother tried to call my father, his secretary, a battle-axe of the highest order, my father’s description, not mine. I was too young to know what battle-axe meant and refused to disturb dear ole’ pop. So, my mother hung up the phone. By her expression, trouble was afoot. When my father came home, I was dismissed from the room. My mother started in on my father before he read his newspaper, a cardinal sin. Ticking off my mother, however, was a deadly sin. As I listened through the vent, I heard my mother go into lurid detail about her dissatisfaction.

Allow me to provide a snippet …

Mother: GGGGRRRRRRRRR!!!!

There might have been flames. I couldn’t be sure. Once, during a bedtime story, Mother confessed to being part dragon.

Father: But…But … But … I can explain.

By the sound of his voice, it was apparent my father was miserable. I remember being scolded by my mother, and it wasn’t anywhere close to the level of what I heard. I felt miserable.

Afterward, Father came into my room and gave me the look. You know, the one parents give their children that lets the child know whatever reason they are showing that look stops now. Then he followed it with the look that only evolves in the following.

Action One: The head immediately drops down and avoids eye contact.

Action Two: Shoulders droop with the execution of a defeated sigh. There is a slight hesitation between the droop and the sigh. Timing is everything.

Action Three: The Apology

This is the most crucial of the actions. Execution is paramount. One could have nailed the first two actions, but bugger the third. It’s over. Here are a few suggestions I have witnessed and used in the past.

• Pleading eyes – crucial
• The swallow – a hard swallow after the pleading eyes, masterful
• The acknowledgment – a simple “Yes sir or ma’am” executed in the proper tone; genius
• The Apology – This must be nailed with an adequate amount of sincerity and remorse. I cannot stress the importance of this enough. Watery eyes or tears are allowed, even if you are a boy. We have to do what is necessary. There is no shame in it.

Now, my father stood there looking at me strangely. I knew my execution was flawless. Yet, I wondered why he hadn’t left the room. I had to resist the temptation to speak. It might ruin the effectiveness of my performance. Finally, he said.

“You know,” he started. We are aware that nothing good comes from sentences starting off like that. I attempted to settle as I thought, “Oh Boy!”

“When I was young, I always wanted a knucklehead son and look a knucklehead!” he said, gesturing towards me. He turned and headed out of the room.

“You know,” he said. There’s that phrase again.

“The apology was good. Very good, if I’m being honest. I almost bought it. Your timing was off. You’ll have to step up your game to fool your mother.” he finished and walked the room.

I never did fool my mother. I think my father derived a bit of pleasure from watching me try. In the present, I can say that English was my favorite subject. I used it to become a decent storyteller. I enjoy putting words together like a puzzle.

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I’d like to thank Cyranny’s Cove for doing us the courtesy of providing inspiring words that shaped this story. If you haven’t checked out the site, get over there.

I hope you enjoyed today’s story. Trying to make the words fit the story in my head was hard. But I had a blast.

~thanks for reading~