That it amounts to Nothing

What makes you nervous?

I never intended for things to be this way. What I mean is things just sort of happened or turned out this way. Most of my life has been spent in the service of others. I wish I could say when I was child I made some declaration of altruism, but I can’t. Looking back, I fail to detect the presence of nobility.

I’ve no regrets about how I spent most life. I made and make plenty mistakes. Despite my shortcomings and best efforts, all I have done, and will do amounts to nothing.

The thing that messes with me, I realize I may be the only one who feels the efforts of my life amounts to nothing.

Now, this thought makes me nervous. ..