The longest goodbye; I will never say

As it stands right now,
I can’t be with you.
I think too much of myself.
I have too much pride in who worked to become

In order to be with you, I must cease to be the man I am.
I must allow myself to be disrespected.
I must forget all that I know about; what it is to be a man
I must forget all that I know about love; how it makes me feel

I must cease to care about my well-being; for I no longer matter
I must be willing to surrender my will to another; without question
I will do all these things to prove my love.
Willingly change who I am; because I love you that much.

Hmm… You aren’t even willing to change a dress for me.
So how much did you really love me?

I don’t know

So, I offer the longest goodbye to myself.

~thank you for reading~

Sounding my poetic yelp!

How do you use social media?

Lost within the traps of my mind
Crazy, because I placed them
to protect me from the madness

running from trap to trap
like, I’m hooked on pain
my screams melodic

Every line I write
another attempt to release
the pain coursing through me

SO…

I write the blues
because I lived them
facing the everlasting memories

Don’t think less of me
if all I can do is sit here and cry
without you, who am I supposed to me

My words come from my soul
of all the things I do wrong
this is the only thing you can’t deny

Do you remember me,
like I remember you?

The night you came to me
back when we were just friends
back when all we were was an unspoken desire

By the state of you
I had no idea where you had been
I had no idea what you needed

You leaned into me and started to cry
My love could comfort you
all you had to do was let me try

in Frustration

I silently scream

Now, I sound my poetic yelp!


~thank you for reading~

Sleep

POETRY

Can sleep wipe away the strain of the day?

Take away the pain
Press restart and start anew

Fantasy and Reality are interchangeable
neither one lasting
it seems…

Price check on Rolaids
There’s a spill on aisle 14
Paper or plastic?
Did you double bag?
Price on planter’s honey roasted

Wait…

Wait…

I need more sleep

~thank you for reading~

Polite

POETRY

I’ve become painfully aware
of something

All this time
I thought
I knew
I believed

I was hilarious

NOPE
I’m not

People were laughing
by God

All this time
People laughing
Were just being

Polite

There’s a Reason

POETRY – INTROSPECTIVE

Every drop of a tear
There’s a reason
Whether you accept it
or understand it

Doesn’t Matter!

There’s a reason

Here’s the rub
The one who from
The tear falls

May not
Know or understand
Why?

But there’s a reason.

lifestyle

POETRY – HUMOR

I put a whole lot of effort into
releasing the pain in my heart.
It was supposed to

Sooothe

me

I need to curb my addiction
Google is not a lifestyle

Disappointment

POETRY – DAY 14 – NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

I know I turned out
to be a disappointment
I never intended to be

Who Won?

POETRY – DAY 9 NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

I wake up sweaty and sour
Out of breath, like I’ve been fighting
in my sleep

I have…
with myself

I wonder who won?

Relevant

POETRY – DAY 6 NATIONAL POETRY MONTH

I only ever wanted to be one thing.
Just one.

I never wanted to be rich
I never wanted to be famous

None of the standards to define us.
None of that really mattered to me

I only wanted one thing
Just one

to be
Relevant

Thank you for reading

Mango – Papaya

POETRY – COMFORT & GRACE

I shudder from the warmth of my soul’s smile
The image of your beauty, permanently etched upon my mantle, 
The collision of your beauty (Inner & outer) emits a glow 
A glow with the radiance that will melt a Himalayan snow 

A sight:

never forgotten …

truly majestic…

I sigh from the comfort and security of your embrace 
A cleansing exhale with the contentment of knowing that I’m home 

In this moment, I know what it is like to be held 
In this moment, I know what it is like to be loved 

My soul screams these words 
Yet, my lips remain still 
Nay tremor, nor whisper 

I remain in the comfort of the way things are 
Instead of braving what could be 
I remain comfortable in the warmth of my fear.

Taken for Granted

POETRY – LIFE LESSONS

There wasn’t a sound,
but the silence echoed.

I didn’t want believe it
how could she?

But the walls were bare
and halls empty

My regret not worth a dime
aloofness my crime
didn’t mean for this rhyme

it just kinda happened

Just kinda happened …

me

Taking her for granted.

Thank you for reading!

Make the Cut

POETRY – INTROSPECTIVE

I poured everything I had
To become a good man

Until I learned who
good men were.

I didn’t make the cut

Bodega

POETRY – LOSS

Through the rain-splattered glass
I watch silhouettes dance in a distant window
With closed eyes I dream how things could be
I dream of how the beauty of life is so filling
With opened eyes I see the reality of what is
I extend my hand to lift her from the quicksand
Yet, she struggles and continues to sink
My eyes burn
My cheeks are dampened
As I drive away …

Empty handed

Closed Blinds

POETRY – MINDFULNESS

With a push of a button, the television screen goes blank, removing that annoying hum that fills our homes for the better part of the day. A hum we seldom realize exists until it has gone. Then, finally, we notice how peaceful your life has just become.

I sat down by my window
and opened the blinds

From my window, I see
a world absent of law

No quarter for those who want it
No quarter for those in need
There was none, even for those
who drop to their knees and plead.

From my window, I witness
the darkness of the light,

the woman adjusting her clothes
because she just made her rent in the backseat
the man whose rent vanished in a puff of smoke
the child who wonders about their next meal
because their father just drank it away

from my window, I see light
through the darkness

the young man helping the older couple
a reminder that there is still courtesy, although fading
the blooms of the flowers in an overgrown garden
steadily growing, steadily fighting,
as we should, like every moment was our last

from my window, I witness those
who will not bow

Those whose faith is unwavering
those who love unconditionally
with no concern for themselves
those who continue to fight
though is no sign of hope

In this window, I have seen
many things

things that you want to fix but cannot
things that make us cry,
even if it is silently amongst a hundred

The things that will make a stand on mountaintops and cheer
The things that will make the strongest of men get up and walk away

These things and much more represent the ideal I have spent my life fighting for.

No wonder I can never close the blinds.

Thanks for reading!

CONSEQUENCE

POETRY

Be mindful of what you do.
It is a reflection of what you are worth.
If it is true, then it is truth, and cherish it.
If it is deceit, then it’s deceitful, and you might become it.

Twilight, just before the dawn

The leather of my gloves crinkles 
as I tighten the reins 
My steeds trot becomes a gallop
We begin traveling through time …

through space …

arriving at a place unfamiliar 
Yet, it felt so safe …

Shimmering through the shadows
I’m drawn to a presence…
My heart begins to pound as I see you laying there
behind a veil of lace ….

Resting so peaceful… so full of grace …
I remove my cloak and armor 
I sit down in a chair beside the bed
Closing my eyes, drifting into your dreams 

There we make beautiful, passionate love 
in the twilight, just before dawn …