
The dog looked at me like he already knew I was lying.
I stood in the doorway with rain on my coat and mud on my boots, holding a trembling Cavalier spaniel against my chest like a confession wrapped in fur. His ears were damp silk. His heartbeat was frantic and tiny, tapping against my ribs as if he wanted out of this story before it got worse.
“Where’d you get him?” my sister asked from the kitchen.
That was the problem with family. They never ask if you’re okay. They ask logistical questions.
“Found him in the park.”
“At midnight?”
“Dogs don’t wear watches.”
She stared over the rim of her coffee mug, unimpressed. I’d always admired her discipline. If sarcasm were a martial art, she’d have been undefeated.
I dried the little animal with a towel and set him on the couch. He sat there with the solemn dignity of a retired priest. Outside, the wind dragged branches across the windows. The whole house sounded like it regretted being built.
I hadn’t meant to be in the park that late. Sleep and I had been in negotiations for months, and neither side trusted the other. So I walked. The barren trees there looked like black veins against the fog, and the path gleamed wet beneath the lamps. A place for insomniacs, widowers, and people meeting strangers they shouldn’t.
That’s where I saw her.
A woman standing in the mist, holding the dog. Dark coat. Head bowed. Hair moving in the wind like ink in water. There was something wrong with the light around her. It shimmered in blue and amber sparks, like circuitry trying to remember how to be stars.
“You look tired,” she said without turning.
“I practice.”
She smiled faintly. Some people smile with warmth. Others smile like they know the ending.
“He belongs to you now,” she said, kneeling to place the dog on the ground.
“I think you skipped several steps.”
“He’ll help.”
“With what?”
“With staying.”
Then she looked at me—really looked—and I felt the old grief inside me shift like a man waking in another room.
I took one step forward.
The fog moved.
She was gone.
No dramatic flourish. No scream of violins. Just absence. Clean and immediate.
The dog trotted to me and leaned against my leg as if this sort of thing happened all the time.
Back in the house, my sister crouched beside him. “What’s his name?”
I remembered the woman’s eyes. The tired kindness in them. The way she spoke like someone leaving instructions for a house she’d once lived in.
“Mercy,” I said.
“That’s a terrible name for a male dog.”
“Then he’ll have character.”
She rolled her eyes and carried him to the kitchen for water.
I stood alone in the living room, listening to the bowls clink, the kettle hiss, the ordinary sounds of survival.
For the first time in a long while, the silence didn’t feel like punishment.
Later that night, Mercy climbed into bed uninvited and slept against the hollow place beside me.
I dreamed of the park.
Of a woman walking deeper into the fog.
And of turning, finally, toward home.
Discover more from Memoirs of Madness
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.