POETRY – RANDOM THOUGHTS
Peering out from under the crevasses of my splintered psyche,
Still riding a euphoric high from about That Night,
Collaborative expressions have put my hypothalamus into overdrive.
My serotonin overflowing
Yeah… swaying to that lyrical grove, high on 1000cc of that poetic shit…
Leaning back in my chair
Pulling up my sleeve,
Applying the tourniquet
Tap, tap, tap, and then rub
My vein is ready…
Opening my works, a quill and a hypodermic
I pull back the plunger slowly.
Their ink seeps in
Tap…Tap…tap…
No bubbles …
Just a quick push to fill in the gaps
A squirt, then a single drop oozes…
My mouth salivates in anticipation
So close; it won’t be long now
I feel the cold metal against my skin
A quick prick and a sharp pain,
Slowly, I push the plunger part of the way
The ink is warm as it travels through my bloodstream.
Shadows surround me
As my head spins,
A single drop of drool falls from my shuddering lips
Yes…I feel it in my leg now…
I shake from the chill.
The bathroom floor tile is so cold.
It is as if life is spilling out of me, but the floor is dry
My body feels empty and hollow, like my heart
If I am to live in loneliness
There is no need to live anymore
I push the plunger in a little further…
I am warmth from the sight of the glistening sweat that painted her body
I mimic her labored breathing
The rigidness of her bosom tells the tale
Her crossed legs and popping toes echo the sentiment.
Her body trembles though she cannot see me
But her quivering whimpers
Her flow of nectar
Confirms that I am near
She swallows hard and then gasps.
As I whisper the words she needs,
I push the plunger to the hilt…
Standing in front of a mirror
I wonder who it is before me
Baffled, for I am submerged in silence
Closing my eyes for a moment
Only to open to an image that hasn’t changed
A single tear falls from my swollen eyes
Realizing I didn’t recognize myself,
Knowing I have stripped away my identity,
The single tear is now a stream.
Through my sadness, I find the courage to breathe my name.
Mangus Khan
Mangus Khan 