A place where I post unscripted, unedited, soulless rants of a insomniac madman
The last time I approached this topic, I spoke about using the past from a writer’s perspective. This still remains true, but things are a little different this year. Here are my thoughts from last year.
Sometimes, it seems like my characters learn from my triumphs and follies. I try not to push my opinions on the characters I create. I try to let them live their own lives independently. To be free of my prejudices, quirks, and code. Honestly, I think there is a part of us in the characters we create, whether it’s the protagonist, antagonist, or supporting character. This upsets me now and again because I try so hard not to do this. It is an unrealistic endeavor, perhaps, but one I need to work towards. I think of this when frustration gets the better of me.
“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”
— W.B. Yeats
I think about what Yeats is talking about, more precisely, what it means to me and how it can be applied. As I age, I repeatedly find that my opinion about certain things has changed drastically. I’m not a different person at the core, but I have definitely evolved. Whether better or worse, it is too early to say. I think that determination is what’s important. Yet, awareness of the evolution and acceptance are crucial for growth and understanding.
This quote comes to mind when thinking about the past or the future.
“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”
— Albert Einstein
I love this quote because life lessons shape our current lives, and I hope we can pass on the wisdom. I suppose it’s a part of our legacy—the things we have discovered along the way. Some may say it’s our duty to share this wisdom. I see the truth in that opinion. We watch others stumble about trying to accomplish something, and we have a different approach to assist them in completing their task. However, let’s take a moment to consider this: each person’s path to personal growth is, in fact, personal. We can advise them, not lead them. Also, Buddha advises us on the following:
“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”
— Buddha
If we spend too much time passing on the wisdom of our lessons learned, we are trying to fulfill our dreams of a brighter future—not only for ourselves but also for the person we pass on the knowledge to. By doing so, we aren’t concentrating on the most important period: the present.
My final thoughts: Our past, present, and future are contained in each breath. Our past has made us the people we are in this moment. It lays the foundation for the pathway of our future. Every breath is the catalyst for our evolution; don’t fight it. Remember, the difference between life and death is a single breath; don’t waste it.
Excuse me while I get coffee and an ice cream sandwich because ice cream solves everything.
I came up with potential responses to this prompt. Either would have been fine. However, I spent most of the night and a good part of the wee hours working. As a multi-genre artist, work could mean anything. Well, last night, I worked on character descriptions for my fiction. It’s nothing to conjure up a person and make them do stuff. However, sometimes I don’t have a clear picture of their appearance. If I don’t have a clear idea of how I can expect the reader to have one, so I worked on my descriptions.
I fed these descriptions into AI to see what it would render. First, I had to find an image generator that provided realistic renderings. I wasn’t looking for photo quality or anything, just potential mock-ups of the characters. After hours of tweaking, I don’t care how good your chair is; your body will tell you enough is enough. So, I called it quits and went to bed.
I realized something this morning while I had coffee. I truly enjoyed myself last night, but my realization didn’t stop there. It occurred to me that creating art is my jam. It’s the one simple thing that brings me joy.
Here are a few examples of the concepts I worked on last night
None of these renderings are final, but they provide direction as I continue to develop the appearance of these characters.
In a previous post, I discussed autodidactic learning. It’s this method of education I’m most familiar with. However, I always wanted to obtain a college degree of some sort. For whatever reason, I convinced myself I wasn’t smart enough to achieve my goal. As I was torn between my beliefs and desires, I spent considerable time trying to further my education. Throughout the years, I attended several colleges utilizing distance learning platforms.
I attended schools located in the following states:
In most cases, I wasn’t anywhere near the campus. Eventually, I got over my fear and finished my undergraduate degree. I consider my education journey as “The School of Hard Knocks.” If I had believed in myself earlier, achieving the first step of my goal wouldn’t have been so challenging. Throughout my journey, I learned much about life, the world, and, most importantly, myself. Let’s take a moment to explore some of the benefits of distance learning.
Distance learning, also known as online education, has become increasingly popular in recent years. With advancements in technology, more and more people are turning to distance learning as a convenient and flexible way to further their education. Recently, we see online education being used to educate our children. Technology has made online learning a viable option for achieving an education.
One of the most significant advantages of distance learning is its flexibility. Distance learning allows students to conveniently access course materials and lectures, unlike traditional classroom settings. This flexibility is particularly beneficial for individuals with other commitments, such as work or family responsibilities. Distance learning allows students to create their study schedules and learn at their own pace, making it easier to balance their personal and professional lives.
Moreover, distance learning allows students to study from anywhere in the world. The constraints of a physical classroom do not bind them, and they can access their coursework from their homes or while traveling. This level of flexibility allows learners to adapt their education to their individual needs and circumstances.
Another advantage of distance learning is its accessibility. In traditional education, individuals who live in remote areas or have physical disabilities may face challenges in accessing educational institutions. Distance learning eliminates these barriers by providing access to education regardless of geographical location or physical abilities.
Through online platforms, students can participate in classes, submit assignments, and interact with instructors and fellow students from anywhere in the world. This accessibility opens up opportunities for individuals who may not have had access to education otherwise. It also fosters a diverse and inclusive learning environment where students from different backgrounds and cultures can exchange ideas and perspectives.
Furthermore, distance learning allows individuals to pursue their education while juggling other responsibilities. Many students who are working full-time or taking care of their families find it difficult to attend traditional on-campus classes. Distance learning allows them to continue their education without compromising their other commitments.
Distance learning can also be a cost-effective option for many students. Traditional education often involves additional expenses such as commuting, accommodation, and textbooks. Students can save on these costs by studying from their homes with distance learning.
Additionally, many online courses and programs are more affordable than their on-campus counterparts. This affordability makes education more accessible to a broader range of individuals, regardless of their financial circumstances. It also allows students to explore a variety of courses and programs without worrying about the financial burden.
I have been playing catch-up all month. So, I figured I’d do one post featuring the challenges for November.
Here is my response to CMMC – Macro or Close-Up
Here is my response to CMMC – Pick a Topic from her photo
Here is my response to CMMC – Red Color
Here is my response to CMMC – Alphabet ending in R
For the last few weeks of the month, I’ve been ill. So, I haven’t been on top of my posts. I haven’t done any real shooting with my camera and haven’t been writing. I’m not 100 percent, but I do feel much better than I have in weeks. I was going through my files this morning and found some photos I snapped during the month. Some have been posted, but I found that were shot at the end of the month.
Here’s my response to pensitivity101‘s Share Your World
Here are this week’s questions:
Gratitude:
Knowing you’re loved is priceless.
Over the last several weeks, I’ve had a rough go of it, to put it mildly. What I have learned and been reminded of is that I’m loved. There is no doubt about that.
What is your idea of a good holiday? Seeing the sights, lazing on a beach, hitting the night spots, getting away from it all……………….
My favorite holiday in the U.S. is Thanksgiving. It’s all about the food. Dishes you haven’t had all year are waiting for you to gorge yourself into oblivion. There are no diets or anything like that. In short, it is the ultimate cheat day. Another thing about this holiday, perhaps the most important, is being with family. It doesn’t get any better than that.
You are offered tickets to a show. Which would you prefer, Opera, Play, Cinema, Entertainment, Ice Gala, or something else?
During my 50th birthday celebration, a friend took me to see Cirque du Soleil. I remember complaining the entire trip to the show. Grumbling nonsense about any and everything. My friend stood her ground and let me rant. She had gotten us incredible seats, and the show was amazing. The gracefulness of the performers was breathtaking. It was an ice show, so I kept waiting for someone to face plant. Didn’t happen. I would watch something like that again.
Have you ever won a sports trophy (or something similar for a particular achievement):
I was a jock during my youth, so I picked up a few trophies here and there. My mother kept them in a bag. I received awards while serving in the military. I used to call the wall my wife hung them on “The Wall of Shame.” Don’t get me wrong. I’m proud of the time I spent in the military. There is no question that it helped shape me into the man I am today. I never did buy into the whole medal thing. It was more about what we were doing and its importance. However, there was an occasion when I was recognized for an achievement. I got no medal or ceremony, just a simple handwritten thank you note. That gesture means more to me than any awards.
What is your dream car (fact or fictional):
As a child, I remember being enthralled by several cars before settling in on my favorite. I still can’t pick a definite favorite, but two stand out. In 1979, the cult classic Phantasm was released. It was a tripped out movie that didn’t make any sense to me at the time. However, my friends and I still talk about that movie. Not as much as we did as kids, but now and again, someone will mention a line at the perfect moment, and we just laugh.
There were several notable characters in that film, but it wasn’t a character that caused the movie to be bookmarked in my mind; it was the car. A Plymouth Barracuda raced away, rescuing the characters and taking them to safety. From that moment, that was my car. I did my best to learn about that model car, but I discovered something different that I loved even more. A 1968 Plymouth Hemi Cuda became my jam. Take a look
As I got older and started my journey into becoming a mechanic with my father, I learned more about cars and their capabilities. My father was aware of my infatuation with the Hemi but schooled me about the other muscle cars of that era. My appreciation grew for American Muscle. I had the privilege of building and repairing several different ones with my dad. I’m more of a circuit head than a gearhead. Yet, I love mechanics; it’s in me bones. After Pop went to the otherside of the veil, I found myself watching old movies with car chases: Smokey and the Bandit, Dukes of Hazzard, The French Connection, and finally, Bullitt. I found my second love, a 1968 Ford Mustang – GT-500. Let’s take a look at the scene that grabbed me.
However, a different year model of Mustang, the movie Gone in 60 Seconds, the remake with Nicolas Cage, featured a 1967 GT-500. The original featured a 1971 Mustang, a beast in her own right but not as sexy. Here are two clips that express my love for this car.
Due to my illness, I got behind on a few challenges and other posts for the blog. So, I decided to combine several a few challenges. I used the challenges listed below.
CWWC – Which Way with People
CWWC – Which Way with Bridge
Lens Artist Challenge #276 – Looking Up, Looking Down
A friend sent this video to me on Instagram. I thought it was powerful enough to share.
What are your thoughts on what this gentleman has to say? Please share them.
How do you practice self-care?
There is something about taking a drive. A full tank of gas packed lunch, and your camera and notebook. It’s a sense of freedom; at least, that’s the phrase I’ll use as I sit here talking to you. I suppose it’s as good as any, to really explain this feeling I get when taking a drive. It’s a chance to explore, clear your mind, and, just for a moment, set aside the stresses of everyday life. And having your camera and notebook with you allows you to capture the magic.
There’s no better way to appreciate the beauty of nature and the world around you than to take a leisurely drive, at least I don’t know if any. Maybe one or two others come to mind if I think on it a spell. But, nothing beats a drive. Whether through winding country roads, along the coast, or through the mountains, a scenic drive can be a truly unforgettable experience. Let us not forget, a drive through the city after dark. Another side of life seems to come alive in the night; after dark. One must be careful you may see things you may never have known existed.
But it’s not just about the destination; it’s also about the journey. Taking a drive can be a chance to reflect on your life, think about your goals and dreams, and enjoy the present moment. It’s a form of self-care that can help reduce stress, improve your mood, and boost your creativity.
In fact, many writers, artists, and photographers have used driving to inspire their work. The freedom of the open road allows them to escape the distractions of everyday life and focus on their craft. And with a camera and notebook, they can capture their thoughts and ideas as they come to them.
But even if you’re not a writer or artist, taking a drive can still be a valuable experience. It’s a chance to unplug from technology, connect with nature, and appreciate the simple pleasures in life. And with the flexibility of driving, you can make the experience your own. You can stop at a roadside diner for a classic burger and fries, take a detour to visit a local attraction, or simply park by a scenic overlook and watch the world go by.
So next time you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, why not take a drive and see where the road takes you? You never know what new experiences, sights, and insights you may discover. Perhaps, a fond memory or recollection will be unlocked evoking a smile.
Harold Shea is an ordinary fellow, as fellows go. He has no grand stories about this girl or that girl. He is a simple chap who eats tuna on toasted rye. Harold and I are clerks at the Ministry of Useless Facts and Random Memories. A person becomes a clerk if they have a knack for remembering and cataloging trivial information. Our job is to sift through old documents and archives, searching for forgotten tidbits of knowledge that may one day prove useful.
Harold is a diligent worker, and he takes pride in his work. He always arrives early and stays late, poring over old manuscripts and dusty tomes. He has a particular fondness for historical trivia and, from time to time, found regaling his coworker Venus Milo with tales of obscure battles and forgotten rulers.
Despite his unremarkable nature and unassuming demeanor, Harold is a valuable member of our team. Without his tireless efforts, many of the useless facts and random memories that we collect would be lost to the sands of time.
Harold is also a kind and thoughtful person. He is always willing to lend a helping hand to his coworkers. Last week, for instance, one of our colleagues was struggling to find a particular piece of information for a project. Harold spent hours searching through old records until he found what she was looking for. He did all of this without expecting anything in return.
Despite his many admirable qualities, Harold is not without his quirks. For one thing, he can be a bit absent-minded at times. On more than one occasion, he has misplaced important documents or forgotten to submit reports on time. However, his forgetfulness is more than made up for by his enthusiasm and dedication.
Everything changed about six months ago. I came into the office, and everyone was in a tizzy. It isn’t like it was the first time the office was in this state. Harold usually got things in order rather quickly. However today, no Harold. He has never been late a day in thirty years. I tended to the disaster but never took my mind off what could have possibly happened to Harold. Then I was called into the Director’s office.
“Thank you for sorting out that dreadful mess.” said the Director
“It was nothing, Ma’am,” I replied.
“Harold?” She asked. I shrugged and walked out.
After stopping by Harold’s weekly for the next six months, I received a package at the Ministry. The package sat on my desk for another month before I remembered it. When I opened the package, there was a letter from Harold.
Dear Seamus,
I know this package has been sitting on your desk for about a month. I’m well. Venus and I have retired and living in my favorite place. Do you remember? Of course you do, you don’t forget anything. I miss you, ole chap. I haven’t had a decent conversation in months. Perhaps, you can down and keep Venus and me company.
~H
Well, that rascal, I thought. I had no idea that he and Venus had a thing. Why wouldn’t he tell me?
I guess there are a lot of things to consider when you’re thinking about “Pulling the Pen.”
RANDOM THOUGHT – A RANT? – PEP TALK?
I write these words for an unknown reason. Something keeps gnawing at me to speak, but I do not know what. Yet, I’m sure many writers have faced this exact issue, not knowing what to say or how to say it. I recall long ago when I decided writing was something I was passionate about doing for the rest of my life. Also, I remember feeling no one wanted to hear what I had to say. So I wrote my thoughts, dreams, ideas, and fears in a notebook. I hid its contents from the world. If I am being honest, I hid them from myself. The instance I doubted myself, I became defeated. A player in a rigged game, and I didn’t even know the rules.
Back then, you seldom heard words like; depression, anxiety, or low self-esteem. However, I remember phrases like, “Stop being a pussy” or “Get your shit together.” Today, people attempt to listen to the problems we face. It’s kind of nice. Anxiety, depression, and other mental issues are real. We must, as a people and society, respect them. Witnessing people getting the help they need and being true to themselves is beautiful. Yet, like everything, we go a little overboard if people let us. Somehow, amidst all the self-imposed crap, I kept writing. I’m not even sure how or why.
I kept looking for external validation of my talent. As if I needed someone to walk up to me and say, “Man, you’re one hell of a writer.” Yes, of course, this happens. Sometimes comments, reviews, and other accolades are plenty and fulfilling. However, what do we do when they don’t come? Your inbox is empty, and a deafening silence surrounds you. People you’ve asked to read your work avoid you. They are swamped now, “They haven’t had the time to read.” Or they give you, my favorite, the delicious lie. “My God, your work was amazing. I couldn’t stop reading. I read everything on site.” This utterance is coupled with a plastic smile and hollow sentiment.
You turn to a blank page and pick up a pen. Then, write your ass off. Whatever it is you’re feeling. Let it fly. Write the good, the bad, and the ugly. Tell it straight and write true. Let no one tell you any different, and when they do, simply look at them, and say, “Yahoo…Kiss my Grits!” Flo would be proud. No matter what, keep writing. It may not turn out you make it to The NY Times bestseller list. Or you may never win a covenant prize. However, what you have done is tell a portion of your story. I hope you realize this happens in every story we write. Don’t worry about it, and it’s okay; it’s just fine.
Sometimes my journal is my confessional, and my readers are my priests. Yet, some things chronicled within those pages are mine, and I bear their weight alone as we do with certain things. My method or ideas aren’t for everyone, but writing them, and getting that crap out of my head, has kept me on this side of the veil. Where I have the hope of happiness, the urge for acceptance, and the whisper of redemption, I speak of it too loud; it may become vapor.
Somewhere in these words, I suppose, is a message to you, the reader, a pep talk of sorts. Yet, as I finish the closing sentence, this is nothing more than a pep talk to myself. I hope I listen.
In honor of the writing community we know and love. I wanted to point out one of its legends for a few moments.
Gwendolyn Brooks in the poetry room at the Library of Congress in November 1985. (Bettmann, Getty Images)
She was the first ethnic minority to win the Pulitzer Prize on May 1, 1950. In school, when it came to black writers, Langston Hughes, Richard Wright, and James Baldwin were familiar names. I can’t say that my school overlooked Brooks, but she seemed overshadowed by more popular poets. I discovered her body of work much later in life after I started attempting to write poetry. After several phone calls to the poetry clan announcing my discovery, most laughed and asked, “What rock did you crawl out from under?” They reminded me that Maya Angelou and Nikki Giovanni were the “really important” African American poets. I couldn’t believe my discovery and continued my research into the body of her work, finally getting my hands on an autographed copy of one of her books. After that, she became one of my literary heroes.
Gwendolyn Brooks was born in 1917 in Topeka, Kansas, and she published her first poem at 13 years old. When I think about what I was doing at 13, though I was writing stories back then, I lacked the courage to publish my work. Brooks has written over twenty books of poetry.
I would have never written a poetic line if it hadn’t been for the work of Gwendolyn Brooks. of course, many could argue that Brooks had nothing to do with my talent or ability. This opinion may be accurate, but the crazy part, I did not know. However, if Brooks hadn’t made her accomplishments within the poetry community and society, she wouldn’t have changed the establishment’s mindset. She made poetry cool. By the time I discovered and understood the magic of her work, a published poet, I also taught workshops. With a blown mind and new respect for writing, I immersed myself in reading everything I could get my hands on.
Here’s an interview I found online that tells an interesting story about when she discovered she had won the Pulitzer Prize.
How remarkable is this woman? I remember staring at the screen, thinking I would never be that good. Forget winning the Pulitzer Prize or any other award. I might as well roll up my quills and clean out my inkwell. Yes, I wrote with a quill and had an inkwell on my writing table. I was feeling myself with a few poems published, and radio shows in the works. I turned down everything and went to my former profession. Then, one day, a former student appeared out of nowhere and asked me a question.
“Are you going to finish what you started?” She asked, straight-faced and unapologetically.
I didn’t answer her at that moment. She turned and walked away, leaving me spellbound and speechless. Then, while preparing dinner, I exclaimed, “How dare she call me out like that? Rolling up on me like I’m soft or something!” The class started in an hour. If I left then, I could make it. Walking into class, I rocked a “Free verse rules!” T-shirt and a raggedy pair of closed-toed Tevas. Absent the salutations and idle chitchat, I launched straight into an analysis of Rilke’s “Faces” with no notes, guide, or any of the traditional materials I usually had for class. I lectured like that for the next six weeks.
I ended that workshop with, “One must be bold to matter, yet humble to make a difference.”
Thank you, Ms. Brooks, for inspiring one of my favorite lines in my career. Teaching that lesson to all the writers I’ve helped has been an absolute honor.
Thank you for your support I truly appreciate it.
Memoirs of Madness 